Life Buster, Old Farmers Advice & More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| Well, I thought I'd be spreading good news today saying I was back to my normal routine, however, we got a little blind sided over here. My daughter got sick and had to go to the hospital Thursday. We found out Saturday that she got a nasty contagious virus, so I've been having fun wiping down all the surfaces around the house that she may have touched with warm soapy bleach water and doing all our laundry and bedding. __________________________________________/ -------------------------------------------| | | |~~~~~~~~~~| | | | | *| *|Bless this|* |* | | |_____|_____| ~Home~ |______|______|____| _________ _________ | `| "Sweep and mop! Clean, Clean | |] clean the house! We need |__________| a robot house cleaner!" | | / |_==___==_| | |]__.--@|@--.__\\\\___|_________| | |---(((----//--( oo //oo o oo| | | |()))) // ||\O/ /)| _______ | | | | \_/ (\/ |// \///|| || |jro | |// \\//____|\\ //_|||_______|| |__________|__\\__\/_______(//|__|_________| ///\\ //|| ~~(_)(_) ////(_) 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 I don't much care for the smell of bleach but you gotta do what ya gotta do. She was released Sunday and the nurse was going over the precautions for us. She said I was lucky that with my surgery I didn't get sick too. She kept repeating 'you were lucky'. I was thinking more like 'blessed'. Thanks to all your kind prayers and well wishing to God for me, I am healthy again. Just have to focus more of my attention on my daughter and household now. We'll be under the gun for a couple more weeks. Please put her and us in your prayers. |_| , ('.') /// <(_)`-/' I'm the one to call for a 'Life Buster' <-._/J L / -bf- The old thief likes to get in there any chance he gets to disrupt and make our lives all that more challenging. Thank God for God - He is the one who 'bails' us out through our beloved Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! We just always have to remember to do this ... __ /_/\/\ \_\ / /_/ \ 1 Peter 5:7 \_\/\ \ \_\/ 'Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.' unknown With that in mind... Our Friend Viv Reminds us... >Can we and/or will we? I was very dismayed when, recently, a member of my Church said to me with great resignation that she was afraid Obama will take the presidency. These words came from someone that in the past has been a great prayer warrior. What is happening was my question??? Why are we Christians settling for the loss of our Christian heritage, not issuing a battle cry and falling to our knees and taking our country back? We allow ourselves to be stripped of the right to pray at school functions and in school, we have the Ten Commandments removed from government places and are told we cannot pray publicly or proclaim Christian principles, all the while providing public prayer places for Muslims. We allow Muslim mosques to operate in America funded by Saudi Arabia, and proclaim anti-American, anti-Christian threats and terrorism. What in the world is going on and why are we being so apathetic? Why aren't we praying? Our God is an Almighty God who is waiting patiently for us to raise our voices to heaven to stop the tide of the anti-Christian actions in our world today. Now we have a charismatic, albeit inexperienced, candidate for president that does not respect our flag and refuses to wear one on his lapel except when it becomes politically expedient, and whose own wife and pastor that he loves profess to have strong anti-white feelings, and we sit back and say 'it is a given, we can do nothing???' There has never been a time in 2000 years that we can do nothing, never a time that we must sit back and allow the evil in men's and women's hearts to take over our world! We should be afraid, very afraid because our apathy is leading us to perdition. It is time for all Christian Americans to raise the battle cry and take our nation back! Maybe McCain on his own cannot defeat Obama, but our God can and He will if we take to our knees in prayer and raise a mighty cry to the heavens to 'Save us O Lord'. We have God's promises in 2 Chronicles 7:14, 'If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' We have the power to change the course of this election and to keep a man as suspect as Barak Obama from leading our country to who knows where with his message of 'change'; a change which I fear will be away from our Christian ideals, and away from Christ, and further away from one nation under God to one nation under Allah. We are great at passing stories and pictures around the internet but where are our prayers and prayer warriors praying to stop this tide of Barak Obama? God parted the Red Sea, Jesus was raised from the dead, and we can bring our country back to its Christian roots and stop the undermining of our country by Muslims. We can stop our country from being 'under Allah' but we must begin to pray, to pray as our country and our lives depended on it because they do. !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ I'm on bended knees praying for our Country, and our President are you? --- ...Awesome! Thanks Viv! -<>- >HOT OFF THE 'SHANGY' PRESS! This one is sooo hot it'll scorch ya! With all this negative economy and political news, I just had to quickly do up a page today from a forward from our friend Viv. This one made me laugh! See if it gets you to smile too! + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx -------------------- Humor In Religion 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion2.html --- ...Loved it! Thanks So Much Viv! ======================================================================= >-->From The FunnyBone: ,;;;, Mother Of Six ,;;;, """\\\\ /////)) '' `\\) |/// '' /_ _) A man had six children and was very \(C _) | / proud of his achievement. He was so ((_)) _= =_ / proud of himself that he started `"`/ / \ \ calling his wife "Mother of Six" in (`""-. <\-/``> spite of her objections. jgs /`~~~`\ / Y`~`` \ One night they attended a party. When the man decided it was time to go home and wanted to find out if his wife was ready to leave as well, he shouted across the room at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion, finally shouted back: "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!" =================================================================== +---------------- Bizarre Board Game Facts -----------------+ The Egyptian game of Senet was a best-seller some 4,000 years ago. Even King Tut had one. He liked it so much he was buried with it. The first American board game, "The Mansion of Happiness," was produced in 1843. Its theme was Victorian: players tried to avoid Passion, Idleness, Cruelty, Immodesty, and Ingratitude. Drunkenness was punished by a trip to the stocks. In 1860, Milton Bradley bought a lithographic press and began printing board games. His first game was called "The Checkered Game of Life." Object: Get to "happy old age" while avoiding "disgrace" and "ruin." Mark Twain invented a game he called "Mark Twain's Memory Builder: A Game for Acquiring and Retaining All Sorts of Facts and Dates." In the introduction to the rules he wrote: "Many public school children seem to know only two dates - 1492 and 4th of July; but as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion. It is because they have not had a chance to play this game. The earliest board game on record is the royal game of Ur, which was invented more than 4,000 years ago in Mesopotamia, the site of present-day Iraq. It was a "race" game; the first player to complete the course was the winner. Moves were governed by throwing dice-like objects. Archaeologists believe it is the forerunner of backgammon. Parcheesi, the original male chauvinist game, was created in the 1500s in India by Akbar the Great. It was played in the palace courtyard with young women as game pawns. "Home" was originally the emperor's throne. In 1988, the 23rd foreign language version of Monopoly was manufactured - in the USSR. Among the changes: a Russian bear token, real estate names corresponding to Moscow locations (Broadway became the Arbat Mall) and rubles instead of dollars. ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) ________ /______ | | | | _ | ===== | | | | | ===== | | o o | | | |~ | .-. | | o o o | ' . ' | | |~ |_| ..'| '._.' | | o .' |_______|/ ks Old Time Radio Shows http://www.best-otr.com/mp3/ -<>- _________________________________________________ |\ | \ ______ "You boys are spending too much | \ | time staring at that computer | \ | ____ screen! I didn't do that, | | / ___) when I was your age." | | \( OO / | |\ |[] _\ O/_ | | \ () | / \/ \ | | \ | / / \ \ ))) //// ____ | |\ | | \ \ | / oo ) oo )|\___\ | | \| | \_)___|/ \-/ \-/ ||___| | \\ | | | | | // \\ (/_\)/____\_ | \\| ______|______| | |________\\_//_ |\ ||_____|\__| jro | | | ||| | \__________\ \ |__|_| (_)_) \ | | \ /___)_) \|__________| \ ********************************************************* ********************************************************* >PARENT - Job Description This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop |\ | \ ______ | \ | "Don't pay any attention to him, | \ | Billy. At our age, Grandpa said | | that all Dad did was "gawk" at | | the television." | |\ |[] \ | | \ () | \ | | \ | ((( //// ____ | |\ | | ( oo oo )|\___\ | | \| | \-/ \o/ ||___| | \\ | | // \\ (/_\)/____\_ | \\| ______|____________________\\_//_ |\ ||_____|\__| jro ||| | \__________\ \ (_)_) \ | | \ \|__________| \ 55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. _________________________________________________ |\ | \ ______ | \ | | \ | | | "Hmmm... I guess that Gran'pa | | did the same thing, back in | |\ |[] his day?" | | \ () | \ | | \ | \ ((( \\\\ ____ | |\ | | ( oo ( oo |\___\ | | \| | \o/ \-/ ||___| | \\ | | // \\ (/_\)/____\_ | \\| ______|____________________\\_//_ |\ ||_____|\__| jro ||| | \__________\ \ (_)_) \ | | \ \|__________| \ JROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJRO JROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJRO RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. _________________________________________________ |\ | \ ______ | \ | "No, actually, they didn't have TV | \ | back in Grandpa's day. What he used | | to do, is spend time staring at the | | radio, listening." | |\ |[] \ | | \ () | ? \ | | \ | \ ((( //// ____ | |\ | | ( oo oo )|\___\ | | \| | \-/ \o/ ||___| | \\ | | // \\ (/_\)/____\_ | \\| ______|____________________\\_//_ |\ ||_____|\__| jro ||| | \__________\ \ (_)_) \ | | \ \|__________| \ ORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJ ORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJ POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you _________ | ------- | |ooo (_) | ___|_))))____|___ |____((((()______| ____________ ||___ \__/______||___________ jro || // \\ || || \\__// || || //\\ || || (_)(_) || 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. _________________________________________________ |\ | \ ______ | \ | | \ | | | "Tommy, I don't know about Dad, | | but it's a wonder to me, how | |\ |[] Gran'pa ever ammounted to | | \ () | anything!" | | \ | ((( / \\\\ ____ | |\ | | ( oo ( OO |\___\ | | \| | \o/ \-/ ||___| | \\ | | // \\/) (/_\)/____\_ | \\| ______|____\\_|\/________________ |\ ||_____|\__| jro //\\ | \__________\ \ (_)(_) \ | | \ \|__________| \ theendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheend theendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheend BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job. ** AND A FOOTNOTE... THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! --- ...Thanks and Huggums Jo Ann!! Yeppers! My daughter is 30 and as [Paul called me this weekend] shall always have her 'momma bear' looking out after her! Our kids are our kids forever :) =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Tony In Australia :) ___________________ | | | | | | | | | | | | |.________|________.| | | | | | /@ | | @|@` | | __\|/__ | __|_______\_____/_____|_ | \_____________________/ |\ \ ||\ \ .__. || \ \ \ = \ . ~ ~ . || |\ \ \ \` ~ ' ~ ~` || ||\ \ \ = \~ ~ ~' -( ____ || || \ \ \ \~ ! . /= / || || \ \ _____ \ = \`:~; /= =/ || || ||\ .\===/ \ \--.=-. /_,_/ || || || \ | | \ = \ ) /"/ || || || \| | \ \ \__/ / @\`@ ~\@/ %| |____________\== \__._/__. ,_______________ @~ \%\|/@*/~@~| \___________\ \ % \|/ %|*/~@~\@| // \\ \ , @~ \%\/|@*/~/@*| .//________\\ \ \ @ \/ @<|/@<*`\@| // \\ \ \ `@*,\^@|/^@/| | .`'// \\. \ \ www @ *| www| |Pru `-._`------------''''.) \. ____________________________```-------'''----'|\__+________ ___________________________________________________________ I'm Fine - How are you? There's nothing the matter with me, I'm just as healthy as can be, I have arthritis in both knees, And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze. My pulse is weak, my blood is thin, But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in. All my teeth have had to come out, And my diet I hate to think about. I'm overweight and I can't get thin, But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in. And arch supports I need for my feet. Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street. Sleep is denied me night after night, But every morning I find I'm all right. My memory's failing, my head's in a spin. But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in. Old age is golden I've heard it said, But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed. With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup, And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up. And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself, Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf? The reason I know my Youth has been spent, Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went! But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin, Of all the places my get-up has been. I get up each morning and dust off my wits, Pick up the paper and read the obits. If my name is missing, I'm therefore not dead, So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed. The moral of this as the tale unfolds, Is that for you and me, who are growing old. It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin, Than to let people know the shape we are in. I'M FINE!! HOW ARE YOU? -<>- This 'aging ' couple, John and Mary are being visited by a local Minister who prided himself in being 'in touch' with his parishioners. The couple , although in rather 'mature ' years still seem very sprightly and active and to the Minister, noticabley healthy. After a lengthy visit and several cups of tea and biscuits he is about to leave when his curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself asking the couple what is there answer for such 'wellbeing'. The answer from the wife Mary is almost immediate.... "MARRIAGE" she says.... and her husband John readily agrees! "Oh yes! definetly marriage works!" "Mmmmm "....says the Vicar and asks.... "If its not being too personal, can you elaborate? I would like to preach a sermon to our youth on Sunday about Marriage and longevity....so how did this revalation in your marriage come about?" Mary takes the initiative and answers first.... "When we first got married, John said to me... Mary, I want you to know that I have at times. a very sharp tongue...so be prepared to hear the cutting edge of it! When you have heard as much as what you can take the door is always there and you can go take a bit of a walk!" Then John said... "To which Mary replied to me, John..... I too have a sharp tongue at times and if things get too hot around here, you too can find the door and take a bit of a walk!" ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw And John remarks.. "So Vicar, thers you answer......plenty of exercise and fresh air!" --- ...TeeHee - Bless your Heart Tony! A Good one! Thanks! =================================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatH :) I'm definitely heeding this one!!! lol .,^v, ;;. |---. ;;:; \~/ / ;;;;'~ ~\/ ;;;/ , \ \ `;/ /: _)_) / /;' ./____ ------/ /-/ -. \----------. __/ / \ ~-.. \ \ `~ ~~ `--.._ ). \ \ - - - - - - - - : /- \ \ - - - - -. | / (_ \_ | / / ~--~ | `' `' `' `' `'( \`' `' `' `' `' `' ~._\ \_/ unknown >VIRUS ALERT - Nude Photo Virus If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Sarah Palin" in the subject line, do not open it. It might contain a virus. If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton", do not open it. It might contain nude photos of Hillary Clinton. --- ...TeeHee! Thanks PatH! ======================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Viv :) ..,;;;;,. .:((()()())):. :(()"'"'""'()): .:()"<*>.<*>"():. :())) ._. (((): (())\ -=- /(()) ___________ .'(()) - (())('. | | / ))\ /(( \ | 143 Days | ______/ /( \_/ ) \ \______/ Experience?| ________( : )_________|Vote Me In | \____._._____/ |___________| )===[]===( / \ Tim Campbell >Ship of Fools? Makes me wonder! The first time I read this quote, I thought it was dangerously true. Then I really started pondering it and thought how would this apply to our own lives/careers? Let's look at it again to see how absurd it is. * You couldn't get a job at McDonalds and become district manager after 143 days of experience. * You couldn't become chief of surgery after 143 days of experience of being a surgeon. * You couldn't get a job as a teacher and be the superintendent after 143 days of experience. * You couldn't join the military and become a colonel after a 143 days of experience. * You couldn't get a job as a reporter and become the nightly news anchor after 143 days of experience. * You couldn't get an entry level job in marketing or sales at a major corporation and become CEO after 143 days of experience. * You couldn't join the US armed services, go to basic training camp and become a General after 143 days of experience Grad. BUT.... * 'From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. * That's how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. * After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World, and fill the shoes of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, JFK and Ronald Reagan. 143 days? We all have to start somewhere. The senate is a good start, but after 143 days, that's all it is - a start. AND, strangely, a large sector of the American public seems to feel comfortable with this and campaigning for him. We wouldn't accept this in our own line of work, yet some are OK with this for the President of the United States of America? Come on folks, we are not voting for the next American Idol. Which is truly the lesser of two evils? McCain or Obama? I know McCain is a True American! -<>- >Maxine on Minorities We need to show more sympathy for these people. * They travel miles in the heat. * They risk their lives crossing a border. * They don't get paid enough wages. * They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do. * They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different language. * They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all day, every day. I'm not talking about illegal Mexicans ~ I'm talking about our troops! Doesn't it seem strange that many Democrats and Republicans are willing to lavish all kinds of social benefits on illegals, but don't support our troops, and are even threatening to defund them? Please pass this on; this is worth the short time it takes to read it. --- ...Excellent! Thanks Viv! ======================================================================= >-->In The Wordly News :) >From Grassfire: Obama blows up bailout; Americans say "no" Yesterday, Barack Obama blew up the bailout meeting at the White House, causing members of Congress to leave in a shouting match without a deal in what amounted to a political ambush of John McCain and Republicans. Of course, Democrats are blaming everything on McCain and House Republicans, but the truth is Obama ruined the meeting. Go here for more: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=11485&CID=242&RID=9947641 -<>- >From AFA - Ben Blows the Horn on Censorship! When I saw this movie I wanted to jump up and down in joy. Ben Stein shows the Evolution Only crowd for what they are. This is the best expose' of the educational bureaucrats ever. See how the leftwing liberals have captured higher education and will not allow any view but theirs to be discussed. See how they punish those who don't think like they think. Ben Stein embarrases them intellectually. The liberals would like to ban this movie. They can't do that, so they did the next best thing--they simply ignored it when it was shown in the theaters. The media critics also ignored it. The movie shows how they refuse to allow any discussion concerning creation. It shows how the liberal educators deal with their peers who do not agree with their Evolution Only stance. Please watch this movie, then share it with others. I wish it could be shown in every classroom and every church in America. In a controversial new satirical documentary, author, former presidential speechwriter, economist, lawyer and actor Ben Stein travels the world, looking to some of the best scientific minds of our generation for the answer to the biggest question facing all Americans today: Are we still free to disagree about the meaning of life? Or has the whole issue already been decided… while most of us weren’t looking? Check it out here: https://store.afa.net/pc-10000304-5-expelled-no-intelligence-allowed-dvd.aspx -<>- >From Bizarre News: -- University hands out bill, not diploma ---------- HIGH WYCOMBE, England - An English university student said that the school administration deliberately humiliated her by handing her a bill for library fines instead of a diploma. Ann Watt, 52, said that what made the day worse was that her mother, husband and children had come to see her graduate from Bucks New University, The Daily Mail reported. She had also paid the university 20 pounds (almost $40) for a photograph that shows her being handed the letter, which was in a sealed envelope. "I have paid for a photograph of me receiving a rude letter," she complained. University officials say that all students are warned that they cannot receive their degrees until they settle all outstanding debts, although they are allowed to attend the graduation ceremony. "As a publicly funded body, we have a duty to recover any outstanding debts, and this can prove difficult once students have left us," David Gay, an administrator, told the Bucks Free Press. -- Couple spots stolen van 12 hours later ---------- MILWAUKEE - A Wisconsin couple whose minivan was stolen in the morning got it back in the afternoon when they spotted it as they drove home from work. But Kevin and Holly Gray of Brown Deer say the 12-year-old vehicle suffered enough damage in the subsequent police chase and stop Tuesday afternoon that repairs aren't worth it. They plan to sell it for scrap. Still, they appreciate getting it back and seeing two alleged thieves arrested. The Grays were on I-43 heading north from Milwaukee to Brown Deer when they saw a familiar Dodge Caravan a little bit ahead of them. "We just both looked at each other for a moment," Holly Gray told the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. "I said, 'That looks like our van.' Kevin said, 'I think it is. Let me go and see if it is.'" There were four young men in the Caravan. Police stopped them and arrested a 16-year-old and a 19-year-old but the driver and another passenger escaped. \WWW/ / \ /wwwww\ _| o_o |_ \WWWWWWW/ (_ / \ _) Not too smart eh Earny? _.'` o_o `'._ | \_/ | (_ (_) _) : ~~~~~ : '.'-...-'.' \_____/ (`'---'`) [ ] jgs `"""""` `"""""` -- Man used Plexiglas dummy in carpool lane --------- RIVERHEAD, N.Y. - The Suffolk County, N.Y., Sheriff's Office says a man was ticketed after admitting to using a Plexiglas doll to drive in a carpool-only lane. The office said a deputy noticed Steven Dinowitz, 51, driving in a Long Island Expressway high-occupancy vehicle lane with a fake person riding the passenger seat, Newsday reported. "One of our deputy sheriffs, he noticed the front seat passenger looked... unusual," said Michael Sharkey, the sheriff's chief of staff. "He stopped the vehicle, and it was a two- or three-piece construction of Plexiglas, dressed in clothing to appear to be a passenger." Sharkey said Dinowitz admitted to dressing the Plexiglas like a person to get to and from work faster. "You get enough people doing stuff like that, and it totally defeats the purpose of having an HOV lane," Sharkey said. "It's not limiting it to people who are carpooling." Dinowitz was ticketed and released. =========================================================== >-->From The ASCII Cartoonists: * CAUTION - Blondes - DON'T - DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! ________ _( )_ _( ) .-----------------. ( _.--. ) How to get this | (_ )(..) ) perfect volume? | ( ) _>/ ) <--------------------' ( /)'-(`'^ `'^`'/` `'\ (in 4 simple steps) |/__Y__\| |\_ I _/| | ) ( | |/ \| Ignv l 1) Look for a socket _______ /_________\ .----------. | _______ | ( -glub- ) | | oo | | _/'----------' | | _..- | | | |_______| | |___________|__________________ / '.._..' \ / \ /___________________________________\ '-------------------------------------' || ___ ___ | o | || / ' \ |_______________| || | | | o | || | | |_______________| || \_______/ | o | || |_ | _| | | || / I I \ |_______________| || | / \ | ||-------------|| () | / \ | () () ( ) ( ) / ( ) \ .ooO gnv. 2) Locate your index and middle fingers _ --> _|_|_ --> |_| |_| |_|_|_|, |_|_|_|| /| | | '´'. '-| \ / `\ _ / |` |gnv 3) Stick your fingers in the socket. _______ /_________\ | _______ | _____|_|_ oo | | _( )..- | | ( )____| | ( _)_____|__________________ (_ _.--. ) ..' \ ( ?(OO) `) \ (_ \ >/ _)__________________________\ ( )'-(`'^-----------------------------' `'^/' `-._/ / | o | | /__\_\___/ |_______________| | \ _/_/ | o | / | / -BZZZZZZ!- |_______________| //` `\ | o | /| ____ __\ | | _((\/ \ \ |_______________| .-/ `'-`\ \ \ ||-------------|| `'''`-. `. \ \ ()gnv () `-._ _/__/ `` 4) Punch yourself so you can see something in the mirror _____________________ (( _( )_ )) _______ || ( ) ||( )_ || (` _.--. )_( )_ ||( ?(#.) ( ) ||(_ \ >/ ( ) || ( )'-( _._.(_ _) || '-'/' `, (_ _) || | /__\_\ ( ) || | \ _/_/ |-'.-''-''-' || | | /| || ,_____| || |/ \| || | / || | | || | (| ((_gnv_______________)| | \ | | | | |______/ _ _ ( `'-> WONDERFUL RESULTS <-'` ) _ before `'-..-'` `'--> after ________ _( )_ .--. _( ) / --\ ( _.--. ) |?(..) (_ )(#.) ) ) _>/ ( ) _>/ ) / )'-(| ( /)'-(`'^ //' `'\ `'^`'/' `'\ ( |/__Y__\| |/__Y__\| \|\_ I _/| |\_ I _/| | ) ( | | ) ( | |/ \| |/ \| Ignv l Ignv l ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bob :) ___ (___) /` `\ / /"\ \ \_/o o\_/ ( _ ) `\ /` /\\V//\ / /_ _\ \ \ \___/ / \/===\/ || || || || ||___|| |_____| jgs ||| / Y \ `"`"` >Perks of getting older Don't laugh.....it's all true... Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70! AND EVEN 80!!!!! 01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 03. No one expects you to run--anywhere. 04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you? 05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 07. Things you buy now won't wear out. 08. You can eat supper at 4 pm. actually at 3 09. You can live without sex but not your glasses. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 13. You sing along with elevator music. 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 19. You can't remember who sent you this list. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience. Forward this to every one you can remember right now! ---- ...TeeHee! Thanks Bob! ===================================================================== >-->From The Jokester: _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| / ( > | ( ) ._ / ) _/-.__.'`\ ( .-'`-. \__ ) `/ `-./ `. | \ \ \ jgs | \ \ \ \ |\ `. / / \ Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with." ____ \ \ _\___\_ / " _) ((\__-_\ / \\ /__| /\\ UUU / / | /,_/ |/|\ |__ /__\____\ gnv Men's Counter-Quote of the Day: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache." -<>- sSSSSSs SS;; SSSS S< ?SSS S> SSS ___)(____ ( \/ ) \||, )( ( / ( \\/ /\ / \ \ \./ )==( / / / \//' ( '|\` \ / \ / ) ( / \ jgs / \ / \ `-........-' / ) / ) /_/|/_/| Giving Up I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman told me. "Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked. "No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked. "Are you NUTS !" replied the homeless woman. " I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!" "Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight." he homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine." ===================================================================== >-->From Cleanlaffs: Hygiene is in the eye of the beholder, I've decided. One lunchtime I watched the woman in the sandwich shop spreading mayonnaise on my bread, and noticed part of her grubby work shirt was dragging across it. "Excuse me," I ventured, "your sleeve is in the mayo." "No problem," she reassured me. "I need to wash it anyway." -<>- | | ,|. ,\|/. ,' .V. `. / . . \ /_` '_\ ,' .: ;, `. |@)| . . |(@| ,-._ `._'; . :`_,' _,-. '-- `-\ /,-===-.\ /-' --` (---- _| ||___|| |_ ----) `._,-' \ `-.-' / `-._,' `-.___,-' ap After I asked for a half-pound salmon fillet at my super- market's seafood counter, the clerk picked one out of a pile and set it on the scale. It weighed precisely eight ounces. Impressed, I asked, "How did you know?" Looking pleased with himself, he declared, "I'm psychotic." -<>- Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is. "Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home." "What kind of question?" asked Tom. "My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly." "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'". "Yeah," said Eric, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'" -<>- At the Olympics a man walked up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. "Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?" "Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name ist Walter?" ============================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: | | | _ | | <_> | | | | | `-._ | |`-._| | | _________________________________|____ `-._ `-._ | `-._ `-._ | kat `-._ `-._ >FOOTBALL TEAM NAME ORIGINS • Kansas City Chiefs. Dallas Texans owner Lamar Hunt was reluctant to relocate to Kansas City until Mayor H. Roe “Chief” Bartle promised to enlarge the city’s stadium and guarantee high season ticket sales. Hunt showed his appreciation by naming the team after Chief. • Baltimore Ravens. Selected by fans via a telephone poll from a list of 100 NFL-approved names. Baltimore was once the home of poet Edgar Allan Poe, author of “The Raven.” • Minnesota Vikings. General manager Bert Rose came up with the name as a nod to the area’s large Nordic population. -<>- >An Old Farmer's Advice: * Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. * Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. * Meanness don't jes' happen overnight. * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. * Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. * It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. * You cannot unsay a cruel word. * Every path has a few puddles. * When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. * The best sermons are lived, not preached. * Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. * Don't judge folks by their relatives. * Remember silence is sometimes the best answer. * Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you will enjoy it a second time. * Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none. * Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. * If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin. * Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. * The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. * Always drink upstream from the herd. * Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of it comes from bad judgment. _..._ ___ .:::::::. `"-._.-''. , /:::::::::\ ': \ _._ \:-::::::::::::\ :. | /|.-' /:::\ \::::::::\:::::| ': | | / |:::| `:::::::|:::::\ ': | `\ | __ |\::/\ `-:::-|::::::| ': | .`\ .\_.' `.__/ | |::::::\ ':. | \ ';:: /.-._ , / |:::::::| :. / ,`\;:: \'./0) |_.-/ ;:::::::| ': | \.`;::. `` | | \::::::/ :' / _\::::' / / \::::| :' / ,=:;::/ | \:::| :' | (='` // / | \::\ `: / '--' | /\ | \:::. `:_|.-"""-. \__.-'/::\ | '::::.:::...:::. '. /:::| | '::/::::::::::::. '-.__.:::::| | |::::::::::::\::..../::::::| / |:::::::::::::|::::/:::::::// \:::::::::::::|'::/::::::::/ /\::::::::::::/ /:::::::/:| |::';:::::::::/ |::::::/::; |:::/`-:::::;;-._ |:::::/::/ |:::| `-::::\ `|::::/::/ jgs |:::| \:::\ \:::/::/ /:::/ \:::\ \:/\:/ (_::/ \:::;__ \\_\\___ (_:/ \::):):)\:::):):) `" `""""` `""""""` * Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance. --- ...Yep, they may look cute but they can really stink the place up! NOTE: Barack Obama is a Lawyer, teacher, philanthropist, and author. So What Does THAT tell ya? -<>- >Aging: I’m not old. I’m chronologically gifted. I was always taught to respect my elders. Now I don’t have anyone to respect. **** • Why are they called marbles if they’re made out of glass? • If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw Earth out of its orbit? • If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice? • How do you throw away a garbage can? • How can something be both “new” and “improved”? ==================================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: ((),). ))) 6(6 ((c` _e/ )))'( ((( , \ )\ \ _o___,- ( )\.__,-._\ / -/ \ |( ___( /_)\ \ _____ _____ '.__,' \_\ - ` joris >TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cat's facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN === From the Sermon Fodder list.To get a regular dose of Christian humor and a modern-day parable drop a note to Sermon_Fodder- subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Please leave this attached if you forward this to friends or post it on the net. ============================== Worth Repeating....... Do not look to your hope, but to Christ, the source of your hope. -- Charles H. Spurgeon www.heartlight.org ================================================== . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' >Guardian Angels Are Here, Say Most Americans By DAVID VAN BIEMA Thu Sep 18, 2008 More than half of all Americans believe they have been helped by a guardian angel in the course of their lives, according to a new poll by the Baylor University Institute for Studies of Religion. In a poll of 1700 respondents, 55% answered affirmatively to the statement, "I was protected from harm by a guardian angel." The responses defied standard class and denominational assumptions about religious belief; the majority held up regardless of denomination, region or education - though the figure was a little lower (37%) among respondents earning more than $150,000 a year. The guardian angel encounter figures were "the big shocker" in the report, says Christopher Bader, director of the Baylor survey that covered a range of religious issues, parts of which are being released Thursday in a book titled What Americans Really Believe. In the case of angels, however, the question is a little stronger than just belief. Says Bader, "If you ask whether people believe in guardian angels, a lot of people will say, 'sure.' But this is different. It's experiential. It means that lots of Americans are having these lived supernatural experiences." Sociologists may need further research to determine how broadly the data should be interpreted. The Baylor study tested other statements that might indicate a similar belief in the supernatural intruding into everyday personal experience - "I heard the voice of God speaking to me"; and "I received a miraculous physical healing." But far fewer people claimed to have had those experiences. This raises the possibility that guardian angels, which famously support an industry of sentimental accessories, are just so darned attractive that they exist in a charmed belief niche of their own. But other factors may be in play. On one end of the spectrum of American religion are the analytical churches, on both the right and the left theologically and politically, which are primarily concerned with establishing Biblical principles to live by - and are suspicious of any modern-day irruption of the supernatural into religious life. Their miracles all took place in the Bible. At the opposite end of the spectrum are the more experiential churches, like many African-American denominations and those in the Pentecostal movement, that lay heavy emphasis on the workings of the Holy Spirit, where the supernatural, through gifts like healing, prophesying and speaking in tongues, makes regular visits in the pews. In the middle are sacramental faiths like Roman Catholicism, where the supernatural has a regular place on the altar (after all, the Eucharist is said to be the literal body and blood of Christ) but one that occurs only within the restrictions of very specific ritual. What's interesting about the Baylor findings on guardian angel experiences is that they cross all boundaries. They have scriptural writ (in Psalm 91 and elsewhere). They are clearly experiential. And guardian angels are a prominent part of Catholic belief that happens to float freely outside of a sacrament. The cross-spectrum legitimacy of the notion of angelic interventions may free Americans to engage in the kind of folk faith that is part of almost any religious system but is not always officially acknowledged. Randall Ballmer, chairman of the religion department at New York's Barnard College, says that the Baylor angel figures are one in a periodic series of indications that "Americans live in an enchanted world," and engage in a kind of casual mysticism independent of established religious ritual, doctrine or theology. "There is," he says, a "much broader uncharted range of religious experience among the populace than we expect." Just possibly, Baylor has begun to chart it. ---- ...For More on angels - check out this teaching... -=- (\ _ /) (`\(")/') (`/\') \\/^\// / \ hjw / \ `-._.-' Are Angels Real http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/angelsreal.html =================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) >From LynnLynn's Links: WAKE UP AMERICA, TIME'S RUNNING OUT http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/WAKEUPAMERICA.HTML Ken w/ What Have I Done http://gospelman.info/kenssongs/whathaveidone.html Best Friends! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html Walk With Jesus http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/walk.html Smell Of Rain http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smellofrain.html What Friends Are For http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/whatfriends.html 1961 Juke Box http://www.snjmall.com/chico/ Halloween With Emma http://wtv-zone.com/emma/boo/halloween.html Barmaid Of The Month http://www.buffaloschips.com/72222.htm Batteries http://www.buffaloschips.com/72223.htm Bowl http://www.buffaloschips.com/72224.htm Darwin Awards Rejects http://www.buffaloschips.com/72225.htm Fastest Gun Ever http://www.buffaloschips.com/72226.htm In My Life http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/Inmylife.htm Melva/My Cousin Ellen http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Family/ellen.html Shatabdi http://www.buffaloschips.com/8118.htm Shell 19-11-07 http://www.buffaloschips.com/8119.htm Shooting Star http://www.buffaloschips.com/81110.htm Sick Boss http://www.buffaloschips.com/81111.htm Sleepy http://www.buffaloschips.com/8181.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I'd never run for president. I've thought about it, and the only reason I'm not is that I'm scared no woman would come forward and say she had an affair with me." -Garry Shandling "Is this a bad idea? The folks at Sprint announced it is developing a TV cell phone. It will let you watch TV on your cell phone. They have the perfect name for it: 'Nine Dead in Interstate Pileup.'" --Jay Leno "It's autumn in New York. You can tell too. Today I saw a sidewalk vendor putting anti-freeze in the hot dog water." -Dave Letterman "Scientists in Japan have developed an umbrella that has Internet access and allows users to search the Internet while they walk. An electronic device that you carry in a rain storm. What could possibly go wrong?" -Conan O'Brien "More Americans can name the three stooges than the three branches of government. Well, that's because the three stooges are more likely to get something done." -David Letterman ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSSE :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & SService You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DDARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************