Living In Paradise... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Our friend LouiseAu sent us a video that I used to update one of our current pages. I had checked this out and found our video that was on it was no longer valid. Check this sweet one out here... ___ / _ \ | / \ | | \_/ | \___/ ___ _|_|_/[_]\__==_ [---------------] | O /---\ | | | | | | \___/ | [---------------] [___] | |\\ | | \\ [ ] \\_ /|_|\ ( \ //| |\\ \ \ // | | \\ \ \ // |_| \\ \_\ // | | \\ //\ | | /\\ // \ | | / \\ // \ | | / \\ // \|_|/ \\ // [_] \\ // H \\ // H \\ // H \\ // H \\ // H \\ // \\Elissa Potier // \\ Movie Star Ricochet http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochetdogstar.html --- ...So glad you alerted me to this! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: Said the FBI agent to the bank teller after the bank was robbed for the third time by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" "Yes, he seemed better dressed each time!" -<>- A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient." -<>- /) .-"".L,""-. ; :. : ( 7: ) : ; ctr "..-"-.." A 4-year-old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?" "Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color." There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me?" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ June 24 is Beginning of Lightning Safety Week and Swim a Lap Day June 25 is Log Cabin Day and National Catfish Day June 26 is Beautician's Day, Forgiveness Day and National Canoe Day June 27 is National Onion Day and Sun Glasses Day June 28 is Insurance Awareness Day, International Body Piercing Day and Paul Bunyan Day June 29 is Camera Day, Hug Holiday, International Mud Day and Waffle Iron Day June 30 is Meteor Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ,-, _.-=;~ /_ _-~ ' ;. _.-~ ' .-~-~`-._ _.--~~:. --.____88 ____.........--~~~. .' . . _..-------~~ _..--~~~~ .' .' ,' _.-~ . . ` ,' .' :. ./ .: ,/ ` ::. ,' .:' ,( ;. ::. ,-' .' ./'.`. . . /:::._______.... _/:.o/ / ./'. . .) . _.,' `88;?88| ,' . .,/'._,-~ /_.o8P' 88P ?8b _,'' . .,/',-~ d888P' 88' 88| _.'~ . .,:oP' ?88b _..--- 88.--'8b.--..__ : ...' 88o __,------.88o ...__..._.=~- . `~~ `~~ ~-._ Seal _. `.;;;:=' ~~ ~~~ ~- - - - >British TV I was watching a British detective story on TV. The local group was gathering in their hunting best for a fox hunt. In the opening scene my nine-year-old daughter wanted to know what the people were doing, noticing the formal hunting outfits and well groomed horses. I replied that they were looking for a fox. There was a short stunned silence and then she asked: "Is it a very important fox?" -<>- >At the Mechanic I feel inadequate when talking with a mechanic, so when my vehicle started making a strange noise, I sought help from a friend. A car nut, he told me how to explain the difficulty when I took it in for repair. At the shop, I proudly recited, "The timing is off, and there are premature detonations, which may damage the valves." As I smugly glanced over the mechanic's shoulder, I saw him write on his clipboard, "Customer says it makes a funny noise." -<>- >Broken Glass At the end of a particularly severe winter, we removed the protective covers from our cabin cruiser and found that the weight of the snow had broken the windshield. I drove to the local glass shop, where I paid $110 for a replacement. The owner asked if I'd like them to install it, but I said I could handle it myself. I managed to climb up the ladder to the deck before dropping the glass. Sheepishly I returned to the shop. The owner showed no emotion as he cut the second glass. When I saw another $110 charge, I said, "I thought I might get a break on the second piece of glass." "I gave you a big break," he replied. "I didn't laugh, did I?" -<>- >Garage Door Repair We had to have the garage door repaired. We called one of the local garage door companies. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower motor. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not.. Four is larger than two..." We haven't used that repair company since. -<>- >Craft Store Thief One day, we saw a news report on TV about the owner of a craft shop and one of her employees who had apprehended a would-be thief and held him captive until the police arrived to arrest him. As we listened to the story, my grandson commented dryly, "What did they do? Hold him at needlepoint?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ___________ /.---------.\`-._ // || `-._ || `-._ || `-._ || `-._ || `-._ || _____ ||`-._ \ _..._ || | __ ! || `-._ | _/ \|| .' |~~|| `-._ | .-`` _.`|| / _|~~|| .----. `-._| | _.` _|| | |23| || / :::: \ \ \ _.--` _.` || | |56| || / ::::: | | | _.-` _.|| | |79| || | _..-' / _\-` _.`O || | |_ || |::| | .` _.`O `._|| \ | || |::| | .-` _.` `._.' || '.__|--|| |::| \ `-._.-` \`-._ || | ": !|| | '-.._ | \ `--._|| |_:"___|| | ::::: | | \ /\ || ":":"|| \ :::: | | \( `-.|| .- || `.___/ / | | || _.- || | | / \\.-________\\____.....-----' \ -. \ | | \ `. \ \ | __________ `. .'\ \| |\ _________ LGB `..' \ | | \ \\ .' | / .`. | \.' | |.' `-._ \ _ . / \_\-._____) \_.-` .`'._____.'`. \_\-| | `._________.' >SMILES After watching a young maternity ward patient earnestly thumb through the telephone directory for several minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.. "No thanks," the young mother said. "I'm just looking for a name for my baby." "But the hospital supplies a booklet that lists every first name and its meaning," said the orderly. "That won't help," the mother said. "My baby already has a first name." ---------- There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages. ---------- When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo: To all employees; If you must drink during your lunch hour, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid. ---------- It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him. As she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid." The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here." ---------- A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying; "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to Heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement." --------- >Terms To Know... TRAFFIC LIGHT Apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. DIVORCE Postgraduate in School of Love. PIONEER Early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods. PEOPLE Some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened. SWIMMING POOL A mob of people with water in it. SELF-CONTROL The ability to eat only one peanut. SALESMAN Man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat in mink. CANNIBAL Person who likes to see other people stewed. EGOCENTRIC A person who believes he is everything you know you are. FOREIGN FILM Any movie shown in Texas theater that isn't a western. OPTIMIST Girl who regards a bulge as a curve. MAGAZINE Bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. COLLEGE The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone. EMERGENCY NUMBERS Police station, fire department and places that deliver. OPERA When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings. BUFFET A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself." --- ...LOL! Lots of good ones here! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: \ / _ ___,,, \_[o o] Errare humanum est! C\ _\/ / _____),_/__ ________ / \/ / _| .| / o / | | .| / / \| .| / / |________| /_ \/ __|___|__ _//\ \ _____|_________|____ \ \ \ \ _| /// \ \ | \ / | / / | / / ________________ | /__ /_ b'ger ...|_|.............. /______\....... It turns out nail polish remover works like magic for erasing more than just last week's manicure. If you have a bottle of remover at home you can use it to clean household scuffs and stains. Thanks to the acetone in it...non-acetone nail polish removers won't work for the below hints. Let's get to a few unexpected things you can clean with your polish remover at home! * Sanitizing Razor Blades, Tweezers, and Nail Clippers If your metal beauty products are looking a little scary these days, disinfect them with a cloth or cotton ball dipped in nail-polish remover. Then wash with soap and water and let dry before using. * Erasing Permanent Marker This hack will be a lifesaver for a lot of parents and teachers. A cotton swab or cloth moistened with nail polish remover can help remove permanent marker stains on glass, skin, laminated sheets, and even some fabric and upholstery (wash clothing or fabric directly after dabbing the stain with remover). -<>- >Chilling drinks with salt If you love hosting last minute parties, you will love this hack! Add salt to your ice bucket! Why, you ask? It will chill drinks much faster, which is life-changing for summertime get togethers! To quickly chill a bottle of wine or champagne, place the bottle in an ice bucket or other tall plastic container. Add a layer of ice on the bottom and sprinkle it with a few tablespoons of kosher salt. Continue to layer salt and ice until it reaches the neck of the bottle, then add water to ice level. After 10 to 12 minutes, open and serve. >Deep Clean Your Refrigerator You'll need to wipe up spills immediately so surfaces won't become stained - otherwise, every few months, wash the interior with a solution of two tablespoons of baking soda for every quart of warm water. Wash removable shelves and drawers in the same solution (let glass shelves come to room temperature first so warm water won't crack them). -<>- >Removing a Wine Stain Red wine stains may be a sign of good times, but pesky to clean. On delicate fabrics, you should soak the spot with denatured alcohol. Flush the area with white vinegar to remove any residual staining. On sturdy fabrics, however, you can coat the stain with salt; let it stand for five minutes before carefully pouring boiling water over the stain from a height of at least a foot. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Justice With Judge Jeanine 6/22/19 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQGNXpnZKnc ICYMI: Obama WIPES Government Documents https://tinyurl.com/y5sqoufp Mexico Becomes First Country to Approve USMCA -Washington Examiner https://tinyurl.com/y5cuss8a How Trump’s Tax Cuts Are Helping the Middle Class -The Daily Signal https://tinyurl.com/y6jbm5ce Ivanka Trump, Wilbur Ross: President Redoubles Efforts to Ensure Good Jobs for All -Salisbury Post https://tinyurl.com/yxmghqhn Pelosi Declares HOLY WAR On Trump http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-156cfh-jzenq6-b61d11g2/ Supreme Court Upholds Great American Tradition https://tinyurl.com/y522rh4w ‘Latinos For Trump’ Launching In Miami One Day Before Dem Debates https://tinyurl.com/y5ogtlfb Madonna Makes STUNNING Jesus Comment This is more proof than any that Hollywood is a SICK place ... http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-153php-jz1rav-b61d11g2/ Huge Win for Religious Freedom https://tinyurl.com/yy7v9w72 Biden is losing it and the race hasn't even started yet ... http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-156cfh-jzenpt-b61d11g3/ State Government Opens Meeting With SHOCKING Prayer Its not the type of prayer you think... http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-1510uf-jynqfd-b61d11g5/ Westwing News: https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Meat, Poultry, Brownies, Cookies, Water http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: Arsenic Found in Bottled Water http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click To Give: https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: When I graduated from high school in 19&% I celebrated by going downtown Chicago with a few friends for dinner and ended up at a house party in the suburbs where I drank beer and threw up. Apparently they do things a little differently in Georgia. Officials say an 18-year-old drowned just hours after graduating high school when he was tied to a shopping cart and pushed into a lake as part of a game with friends. A Georgia Department of Natural Resources spokeswoman says the body was found early Sunday morning in about 30 feet of water and he was still tied to the cart. She says in the game Saturday night, participants sat in a shopping cart that was tied to a pole. Others pushed the cart to the end of the dock so that the person sitting in it would be flung into the water. Cummings says the cart was tied to the victim instead of a pole and it pulled him under. *--- Here's One Way To Get The State To Pay Your Rent ---* A driver who ran his car into two pedestrians walking in downtown Bothell, WA was sentenced to 14 years in prison. The driver, Eli Aldinger, pled guilty to the charges of assault in the first degree and two counts of assault in the second degree. According to court documents Aldinger admitted to intentionally striking pedestrians with his Toyota Camry at two different intersections. The assaults were a way for Aldinger to "get out of going to work," he told officers. He vocalized he was unhappy with his life of food service work and the direction his life had taken. After hitting two people in two different intersections Aldinger finally stopped when he saw police. He told the officer that he was looking forward to "spending a few years in a room." *- Here's One Skeleton That Should Have Stayed In The Closet -* Rachel Schmidt of New Brunswick and her 11-year-old son bought a realistic-looking skeleton decoration at a local yard sale. When the skeleton didn't fit in their trunk, the two decided it would be funny if it rode in the front seat. Schmidt went to shop for groceries later in the day and left the decoration in the car. When she came back out, her car was blocked by a police cruiser as someone had apparently called out of concern for what appeared to be a body in the car. "The officer said, 'I need to inspect your vehicle,' so then it clicked: 'Oh my gosh, it was that Halloween decoration,' Schmidt said. In a statement, the Fredericton Police Force said: "Sometimes calls come in to us, and they end up being different in the end. Thankfully, this is one of these cases." *--- Speaking of Fight Club ---* A South Jersey man was arrested after police say he was "fighting with himself" and exposed his genitals in a Little Egg Harbor Township Wawa. Police say they were called to the Mystic Islands Wawa for a male acting suspiciously. Witnesses say 37-year-old Jason Cramer was under the influence of something. After speaking with him, Cramer was sent on his way and said he had made arrangements for transportation home. About 15 minutes later, police were called back to the Wawa after witnesses say Cramer began "fighting with himself" out front of the store, reportedly punching himself in the face and scratching his eyes. Several witnesses told police that Cramer had pulled down his pants, exposed and grabbed his genitals and began yelling obscenities at customers. Cramer was arrested and charged with lewdness. He was released and transported home, pending a future court date. *--- That's A Lot of Coke ---* A Japanese man has died on a flight from Mexico City after ingesting 246 bags of cocaine. The flight, bound for Japan's Narita International Airport, had to make an emergency landing in Mexico's Sonora state after he began to have seizures. Authorities said the man, identified as Udo N, died of a cerebral oedema caused by a drug overdose. The passenger transferred to the flight after starting his journey in the Colombian capital Bogota. According to a statement by Sonora's attorney general, the bags - measuring 2.5cm long and 1cm wide - were found in his stomach and intestines during the autopsy. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: \_/ --(_)-- . / \ /_\ |Q| .-----' '-----. __ /____[SCHOOL]___\ ())) | [] .-.-. [] | (((()) ..|____|_|_|____|..................................)(... ldb >The School You Go To What kind of school do you go to if you're... ...an ice cream man? Sundae school. ...a giant? High school. ...a surfer? Boarding school. ...King Arthur? Knight school. -<>- >A Spoon, A Cup and A Bucket A man asks a psychiatrist, "How do you select who should be admitted to your facility?" The psychiatrist replies, "We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub." The man smiles, "Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket." The Psychiatrist replies, "No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a window?" -<>- >I Look Like... Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please? -<>- >The Smartest Dog A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five." -<>- _.-````'-,_ _,.,_ ,-'` `'-.,_ /) (\ '``-. (( ) ) `\ \) (_/ )\ | /) ' ,' / \ `\ ^' ' ( / )) | _/\ , / ,,`\ ( "` \Y, | \ \ | ````| / \_ \ `)_/ \ \ ) ( > ( > \( \( |/ |/ /_(/_( /_( /_( mic+dwb >Q and A Quickies Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? A: Bison. Q: What do you do when your nose is on strike? A: Picket. Q: How should chemistry be studied? A: Periodically. ) ( | ) ( / .- _ ,---. _ ( / / (~-| . . |-~) V / \._ 0 _,/ / / `-^-'`-._ / ' `-. ( : )E : ,---' ( . )E ( gpyy '._____,---' ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( Q: Why aren't koalas actual bears? A: The don't meet the koalafications. Q: What's a foot long and slippery? A: A slipper. Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing? A: She was hit by the zamboni. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ `-. \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you." -<>- Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment. One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital. After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?" "No," the woman nervously replied. "What?" -<>- While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help. "The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'" "Monogamy," he answered. -<>- I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied. "And what about Salt Lake City?" "We have a really great rate to Salt Lake; $99," she said. "But there is a stopover." "Where?" "In Denver," she said. -<>- While watching my grandson's baseball game, I saw a young mother with her toddler on one of those child leashes. She was talking with another mom about an incident that happened earlier that morning. Her little Chihuahua was sick, and she had raised people's eyes as she walked into the vet's office with her dog in her arms and her child on a leash. All I could think was, "What's wrong with this picture!" -<>- Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later. - I don't have to go to school or work. - I get an allowance every month. - I have my own pad. - I don't have a curfew. - I have a driver's license and my own car. - I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store. - The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. - And I don't have acne. ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ___ __ _/:::>__ /:/_/::/ _/::> _/:(/:::\_/::/ _):::::::::::::\ _/::::::::::::::::\____ / \:::::::::/ \ | ::/\ :::::::: / \:: | / ::/ \ :::::: / |:::/ /:::| \::::::::/ |:::\ /::::| \::::::/ |::::\ ,------: \::::/ :------, / ___ \0 / \ 0 / ___ \ : ,-' ) ` `---' `---' ( `-, : \_ \ ' ` \_ _/ \____\ \/ \ _______\________ \ ,-' ) \ ,- ,----------- _/ \ ,-' \\ ) _/ (___________/__________\\ / :;;;\___________________) ______,:;;;;;;;;:______ ,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\_ /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\_ /;;;;;;__;;;; ;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;\ Targon >millennials I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. Then I was informed that I was deprived. Then the government objected and claimed no one was deprived in a free democratic society. Then they told me that I was under-privileged. Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. Then I was told that I was probably disadvantaged. I still don't have any idea who, what or where I am, I don't have a job nor a place to live. Nor do I have a dime in my pocket, nor a pot for whatever, but I've improved my vocabulary considerably! -<>- ,; , ;;;. .;;;;;. .;;';;';. (Mother!) ;;' ; / ,;; Oo ;;. .' ---`- '_.__ ; .' ....-``` . `. . '.. ..;`--- ``.' ````````'-.' ```````````` BP >VACATION I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?" She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!? -<>- &&& && && &&&&. &&& .&&&&& && &&& &&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&& & &` && && .&&&&& &&&; &8 .&&&: && &` & && 8&& & `& && && .&_ oO_&.-.-. && ( __ -/--' &&~ .'-__-'& &&&~`'\`& &&&~` _& &&&&` && &&8&&&& &&&&&&& & &&&&&&& &&;&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&& ~~~ .~~~~~ `&&&&&&&&& ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~;!&&&&&&&&&&~/~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~\~~~~&/` \`~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ `~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ BP >Living In Paradise - Hurricane Season You all should be aware of hurricane preparations, but in case you need a refresher course: We have entered hurricane season. Right now, you can to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob down in the Caribbean and making two basic meteorological points. There is no need to panic. We could all be killed. Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on our insurance industry experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan: STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days. STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car. STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween. Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items: HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements: (1) It is reasonably well-built, and (2) It is located in Wisconsin Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages: Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December. Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them. Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska. Hurricane Proofing your property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc... You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles. EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area). The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely. HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of cat food. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies: 23 flashlights - At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights. Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!) A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.) A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.) $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth. Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean. Good luck, and remember: It?s great living in Paradise. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit God's Sky Paintings! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gsky.html Wrench Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wrenchart.html Hot Air Balloons http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hotair.html Fishing In Florida http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fishing.html Nanny Animals 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals2.html Hand Painting 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hpaint2.html Lilly And Madison http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatdanes.html Amazing Trivia Facts http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts.html World's Most Expensive Things! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/expensive.html Elephant Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephants.html Extraordinary Photos http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/extraordinary.html World Of Big Cats http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigcats.html Arrows Across America http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/arrows.html My, How You've Grown! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grown.html Summer Index https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8 -<>- Don’t Let Your Summer Fun Turn Into A Disaster https://tinyurl.com/y6zp4p74 Defend Your Garden From Rabbits https://tinyurl.com/y3q2tl9v Labradors Are Awesome: Compilation https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QEK8LS_0Gqk The Cat And The Duckling http://www.flixxy.com/the-cat-and-the-ducklings.htm -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) A great look back at the 1950?s and 1960's that should bring back fond memories for anyone that grew up in that era. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDc0ID6PJeg Amazing aquarium magic by Cyril Takayama. https://youtu.be/pbi9qbBbWhg If you are concerned about someone breaking into your car then you might want to protect your key FOB. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRe_Tr7pMi8 --- ...Gee! Our modern times! No more tin hat, now we have to go around with tin foil in our pocket! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! On the up side, the survivalists say carrying some foil is good https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRDeeyZUJf0 And if you don't like the girly side - here is the MANLY side https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujCL3LHYLhI Revisiting.... Journey with us to Africa, where we meet up with Kevin Richardson, one of the most passionate fighters to save the lions both as individuals and as a species. Watch as he plays with the lions, shows us the savanna, and even introduces us to some other wild animals of Africa along the way! https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MNCzSfv4hX8 --- ...love it! Thanks LouiseAu! Reminds me of this one... Adam In Paradise http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/adam.html -<>- >From Our Friend Victor :) VIDEO: Democrat Leaders Pelosi and Schumer Caught on Camera Doing Victory Dance After They Thought They Goaded Trump into War with Iran! https://tinyurl.com/y2cj6n3o --- ...HaHa! Our President is smarter than that! Thanks Victor! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat." -Conan O'Brien "A restaurant here in New York is serving a grilled cheese-flavored martini. Or as parents put it, 'Finally, a way to get my kids to finish their martinis.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Father's Day cards fit into four major categories: golf, fishing, barbecue, beer. And beer. And beer. And beer. What kind of message is this? 'Dad, you are a potbellied drunk and we're sending you to rehab after you finish mowing the lawn.' We need to mix it up a little. Either the cards need to change, or we do." -Jimmy Kimmel "Two Australian farmers recently created a kind of vodka made from carrots. It's the best thing that's ever happened to rabbit bachelorette parties." -Seth Meyers "More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos. Researchers say it's due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning 30." -Jimmy Fallon "Scientists said yesterday that the T. rex may have had teeth serrated like a steak knife, which may have helped it eat meat more efficiently. Experts believe the T. rex evolved the knife-like teeth after having so much trouble using regular silverware." -Seth Meyers "There is a new version of the Bible that has updated language that's coming out. For example, it refers to Jesus' disciples as 'wingmen.'" -Conan O'Brien "A French fashion label is now offering a pair of $570 jeans that come without a butt. There's nothing in the butt. I have got to tell you, these jeans are a great way of telling your friends and coworkers that your father never paid enough attention to you." -James Corden "A new study found that many popular oregano brands are really olive leaves and other leaves falsely labeled as oregano. Or as high school stoners put it, 'Wait, this still isn't marijuana?'" -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************