Magnetic Letters, Lincoln And Mirror, Mirror... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->3 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) We have a new recipe from our friend Norma. My brother always loved these and could never get enough of them! Find this yummy recipe under the MEALS & BREAD Section here: .-'''''-. |'-----'| /`-.....-`\ | <_} | | .-\-. | _,._ | /# ` \ | __.-` `"""-. | \ / | ..--' `"-. `)_,._ \ '-'-' / (` )--.-"``` `"-.`'-----'` '-----------' ( ) jgs `-------------` Crock Pot PORK AND BEANS By Norma http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html --- ...A wonderful addition! Thank You Norma! This steaming hot new page is from our friend Linda. It is a heartwarming story that doesn't require words and will leave you with a warm smile. Check it out here... ,-'"-, ('; ; .) , . ; '-' Phil Girl Gets New Ear! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/girlgetsear.html --- ...Love that he was able to help her! Thanks Linda! Our next flaming hot page is from our friend Geniann. This one should give you some smiles and giggles! Sure to touch your funny bone. Check it out here... ..--""| | | | .---' (\-.--| |---------. / \) \ | | \ |:. | | | | |:. | |o| | |:. | `"` | |:. |_ __ __ _ __ / `""""`""|=`|"""""""` |=_| jgs |= | Humor With Mailboxes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mailboxhumor.html --- ...Too funny! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: _ /X \ _------_ / \ | | | | | __ __) | / \/ \ /\/\ (o )o ) /c \__/ --. \_ _-------' | / \ | | '\_______) | \_____) |_____ | |_____/\/\ / \ unknown Calling home, the traveling vacuum cleaner salesman complained to his wife that he'd gotten two orders that day. "But darling," she declared, "that's wonderful!" "Not so wonderful," he glumly corrected. "The first was 'Get out' and the second was 'Stay out.'" -<>- A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent. "The stork brought you to us." "Ohh..." said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, your grandparents found us under a rock." "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted. "Well darling, they were found under a cabbage leaf," said the parent. Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations." -<>- During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dinning room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, "Wow! it is vanishing cream!" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ April 11 is Barbershop Quartet Day and National Submarine Day April 12 is Big Wind Day and Russian Cosmonaut Day April 13 is Scrabble Day April 14 is Ex Spouse Day and International Moment of Laughter Day April 15 is Rubber Eraser Day and Titanic Remembrance Day April 16 is National Eggs Benedict Day, National Librarian Day and National Stress Awareness Day April 17 is Bat Appreciation Day, Blah, Blah, Blah Day and National Cheeseball Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _,--, _ __,-'____| ___ /' | /' `\,--,/' `\ /' | ( ) ( )' \_ _/' `\_ _/ pb """ """ >Need Glasses? I believe my little daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don't know why she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses. I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though. She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart. She said, "All right, I can see the O and the P and the T, but not the N and the Z." -<>- >Instructions "Doctor, it's been more than a month since my last visit, and I still feel miserable." "Did you follow the instructions on the bottle of medicine I prescribed for you?" "I sure did. It said, 'Keep tightly closed'." -<>- >Your Way At a family gathering, a husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise." "What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle." -<>- >Gathering Chickens The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven." -<>- >Magnetic Letters My son is in kindergarten. He practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: CAT, DOG, DAD, and MOM have been proudly displayed for all to see. One day he bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G, O and D. "Look what I spelled!" he exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" I praised him. "Now go put them on the fridge so your Dad can see when he gets home tonight!" That religious education is certainly having an impact, I thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell ZILLA?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) >SMILES \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the Army," the general told him. "Nothing to it. You’ll catch on again fast." Next morning, promptly at eight o’clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general’s bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer’s wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, back to the village for you." -------- Boy: [calls 911] "Hello? I need your help!" 911: "All right, What is it?" Boy: "Two girls are fighting over me!" 911: "So what's your emergency?" Boy: "The ugly one is winning." -------- The orthopedic surgeon's office where I work was moving to a new office. His staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, had fastened the seat belt around it, to stop it falling over. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office." The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, ma'am," he said, "but I think it's too late!" -------- A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true??" she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'!" ------- A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the Infidel. The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so kindly get out and wait for your camel." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- _ _.-'`-._ _ ;.'________'.; _________n.[____________].n_________ |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""] |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,, ;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; >Quotes from Abraham Lincoln: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." "He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met." "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" "When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion." "No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens." "I'm a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn't have the heart to let him down. "After 40 every man gets the face he deserves." "I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." "Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally." "Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves." "It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river." "I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me." "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." "Well, I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals." "Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them." "We trust, sir, that God is on our side. It is more important to know that we are on God's side." "How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." "The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time." "Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short- lived." "My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure." "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." "Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." "We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." "I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." "Avoid popularity if you would have peace." "People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be." "Knavery and flattery are blood relations." "Those who write clearly have readers, those who write obscurely have commentators." "If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will." "As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy." "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" "Nearly all men stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." "I walk slow but I never walk back." "I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how a man could look up into the heavens and say there is no God." "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --- ...My Favorite President! Love these! Thanks LouiseA! See more here: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/abraham_lincoln.html ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) >Tip |\ | \ | ____________ ____________ | / O * maytag \ / O O maytag \ | |____________| |____________| | | ____________ || | | || ||| | | || ]||| | | /\ ____ || ||| | _______ | [| ||Tide|||____________||| | |#####| | __|__||____||______________||______________|__|#####|___| "I'm tellin ya, it's |#####| jro\ \\\\ true, Billy." )))) (///) / (((() \_/ /) \_/ / \\// // \\ \|__\/ \\_// ||\\ //\\ ||// (_)(_) (_)_) NEVER ENDING DRYER SHEETS~~WHAT YOU NEED: 1 Container with an airtight lid (grabbed out of my pantry) 4 sponges cut in half ($1.00 for a 4pk at the dollar store) 1 cup of your favorite fabric softener ($0.30 worth 2 cups water (free from my tap) WHAT TO DO: Mix the water and fabric softener into a plastic container. Add the cut sponges so they can soak in the mixture. When ready to use, squeeze the excess liquid from 1 sponge and place into the dryer with your wet clothes. Run the dryer cycle as normal. Once complete place the now dry sponge back into the container of liquid for use next time. Clothes smell good, are soft and have no static just like the expensive non- reusable dryer sheets. --- ...Great idea! Thanks Bunni! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: MORRO BAY, Calif. - A California man who scaled the Morro Rock volcanic plug to propose via Facetime ended up with the bill for a costly rescue and an arrest for meth possession. Authorities said Michael John Paul Banks, 27, of Fresno, illegally climbed the southern side of Morro Rock in Morro Bay Thursday to propose to his girlfriend using the video- messaging app. Banks' girlfriend accepted the proposal, but the unauthorized climber's joy soon turned to panic when he slipped while trying to climb down the east side of the rock. Banks was left dangling from the rock until his cries for help were heard by a witness who called 911. A video posted to Facebook by the City of Morro Bay shows firefighters from a helicopter crew lifting Banks to safety. "The gentleman will be billed for the chopper ride and other related costs," the Facebook post said. "We are glad all involved are OK, and appreciate the hard work of our first responders." "Climbing Morro Rock is illegal and dangerous. We hope folks will choose to view it from below, saving themselves and our fire responders time and money and protecting everyone's safety," the post said. However, the saga did not end with Banks' rescue -- he soon found himself under arrest for possession of methamphetamine when witnesses reported he was acting under the influence shortly after the rescue. -<>- Anybody who is married knows that fights with your spouse can get pretty heated, but you have to be pretty pissed off to drive away with your wife clinging to the roof of your car! A man who thought he abandoned his wife at a bar, learned that she was on the roof of his car. Richard Addy, 69, of Florida, told police that he left the bar alone and he had no idea that his wife Elizabeth, 50, was on top of his vehicle. He told police that after driving a few miles, he stopped at a traffic light and heard banging on the roof. That is when he realized that she was there. However, he said that he chose not to stop because he did not have a cellphone to call for help. Because getting one drunk and pissed off wife off of the roof of your car is NOT something you want to do by your- self. He finally stopped when Officer Christopher Ruediger spotted the 50-year-old woman on the roof of the car and pulled him over. Addy said that he and his wife had several drinks during the course of the night at a few bars. He said that he decided to leave without his wife because they were arguing. Addy was arrested and charged with reckless driving. He was also issued a citation for permitting a passenger to ride on the exterior of a vehicle. *------ Woman Spends Weekend in Public Toilet ------* A woman was rescued from a library toilet after being stuck inside for two days, police in Texas said. Waco police said that they received a call from employees of the library to report a woman stuck in a toilet. According to the police investigation, the woman came to the library on Saturday night and went into the bathroom just before closing time. Somehow, she got stuck inside a toilet and could not get out. She did not have a cellphone and was unable to call for help. When the West Waco Library was locked, she remained inside. Around 7:00 a.m. on Monday, employees found the woman in the toilet and called the police. The woman was rescued. She did not suffer any injuries. *------------ Luck Doesn't Get Any Worse ------------* LOS ANGELES, CA - A man almost drove off a cliff on a Malibu road, stumbled away from the teetering car, to then be hit by a passing tour bus, authorities said. The driver lost control of his SUV, slamming it through the guard rail on the windy canyon road. Still disoriented after pulling himself out of the car, he took a few steps out onto the road where he was struck by a tour bus. Deputies responded around 4:30 p.m. The man was treated by California Highway Patrol and the Los Angeles County Fire Department before he was transported to a local hospital. "This is a reminder of the need to drive safely through the canyons of our beautiful area and to use extreme caution at the scene of a traffic collision," sheriff's officials said. *---How Do You Shoot Yourself in the Bottom with a Rifle?---* A father was arrested on a charge of child neglect after his son shot himself in the behind when he was home alone, police in Michigan said. According to the police investigation, the father of the 11-year-old boy went to work, and he left the boy home alone with access to a rifle. The boy found the gun and shot himself in the behind. The boy was taken to the Children's Hospital, where he is said to be in stable condition. The father told investigators that he kept the gun at home for protection, but he faces a charge of child neglect for leaving the boy alone with it. The boy was placed in the custody of the state. *-------------- Teaching Dogs to Fly --------------* To anybody who thinks that cats are smarter than dogs, I would like them to show me a cat flying a plane. Don't think a dog can fly a plane either? Think again. A New Zealand dog trainer who taught RSPCA dogs to drive has done the unthinkable and managed to train dogs how to pilot a plane in a bid to prove just how capable rescue dogs can be. In a world first, Mr. Vette was able to successfully train three rescue dogs to fly a plane, and even perform tricks, including a figure of eight maneuver. "It takes a lot of training and a lot of work and integration to build that collaboration," Mr. Vette said, "but the more I've flown th the dogs the more intuitive they get." Reggie was the world's first dog to successfully fly, where according to Mr. Vette, flew for 15 minutes straight. Don't believe it? Look for the video online! --- ...I found it - Here's The video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGcyier95sw ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) * ___ ___ ___ _ ___ _ _ _ /_\ {~._.~} {~___~} {~===~} \~._.~/ ( )-( ) {~._.~} ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ()_*_() ( Y ) ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ( v ) ()~*~() (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) {_` '_} (_)-(_) ~~~ Koala Sleeping Jordi Spock Upside Party koala koala koala down koala koala >Fun with words IT MAY TAKE A MINUTE FOR THE LIGHT TO SHINE, BUT THESE ARE CLEVER!! TAKE YOUR TIME TO THINK ABOUT THEM... 1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds 2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do 3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage 4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with 5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate 6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets 7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living 8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist 9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does 10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money 11. MISTY: How golfers create divots 12. PARADOX: Two physicians!! 13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower 14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm 15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with 16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV!! 17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring 18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife 19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does 20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) . . * . . . . * . . . . . . * . . . . * . . * . . . * . . * . . . * . . . . * . . . . . * . . . .-o--. . * . . . . . . . . * * . :O o O : . . ____ * . . . . . . . . : O. Oo; . . `. ````.---...___ . * . . . * . `-.O-' . * . . \_ ; \`.-'```--..__. . . * . . . . . ,'_,-' _,-' ``--._ . * . . . . * . . . -' ,-' `-._ * . . * . . . ,-' _,-._ ,`-. . . . . . * . . '--. _ _.._`-. `-._ | `_ . * . . . . . . ; ,' ' _ `._`._ `. `,-'' `-. . . . . . . ,-' \ `;. `. ;` `._ _/\___ `. . * . . * \ \ , `-' ) `':_ ; \ `. . * . . . * \ _; ` ,; __; `. . . . . . '-.; __, ` _,-'-.--''' \-: `. * . . . * . )`-..---' `---'' \ `. . . . . . . . .' `. `. ` . * . . . / `. `. ` * . . / `. `. ' . . * / `. `. _'. . . . . | `._\-' ' . . . | `.__, \ * . . *. . | \ \. . . | \ \ . * jrei * NASA was interviewing people to be sent to Mars for an experiment. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T." The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family", he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research." The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked. The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll keep $2 million, and pay the engineer to go." -<>- ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy >Some Life Lessons I've Learned... I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows. I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day. I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child. I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way. I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult. I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class. I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved. I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts. I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds. I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am. I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher. I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss. I've learned.... That when you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away. I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them. I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life. I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it. I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done. To all of you.... Life is not guaranteed! Life is Most Precious - enjoy each moment of it and your loved ones while you can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od's Boxes I have in my hands two boxes, Which God gave me to hold. He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box, And all your joys in the gold." I heeded His words, and in the two boxes, Both my joys and sorrows I stored, But though the gold became heavier each day, The black was as light as before. With curiosity, I opened the black, I wanted to find out why, And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole, Which my sorrows had fallen out by. I showed the hole to God, and mused, "I wonder where my sorrows could be!" He smiled a gentle smile and said, "My child, they're all here with me.." I asked God, why He gave me the boxes, Why the gold and the black with the hole? "My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings, the black is for you to let go." We should consider all of our friends a blessing. Send this to your friends today just to let them know you are thinking of them and that they are a joy in your life. A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see, Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me. Today I pass the friendship ball to you. Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you... Ephesians 4: [32] And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. --- ...Beautiful! Love these! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: o o_ >=O o - In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low. The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat." Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?" -<>- My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of financial difficulties. So one evening I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized our marriage. "With this ring..." I began romantically. "We could pay off Visa," he responded. -<>- Tarzan and Jane were expecting their fourth child and were pretty strapped for cash, so Tarzan decided to go into the used-crocodile business. Monday morning he got up early, shaved, put on his best loin cloth, swung down to the river, and spent the whole day fighting, haggling over and hassling with cranky crocs. As dusk fell, a wan Tarzan swung back to the treehouse and demanded, "Quick, Jane, a martini!" Tossing it back he barked, "Another, Jane, on the double!" Gulping it down, he held out his glass again. "One more, Jane." "Aw, honey, don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?" she chided gently. "You don't understand, Jane... it's a jungle out there." -<>- Everything about county customs delighted my neighbors, who had moved to our small town from the city. One day they spotted a sign, "Fresh Eggs For Sale" at a roadside stand where payment was on the honor system. "Why can't everyone be this trusting?" they said as they put their money into the box and took a carton. When they got home and opened it, they found 11 eggs. -<>- A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro asks her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and deter- mines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls. As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?" "Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!" ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: ______ |o | ! __ |:`_|---'-. |__|______.-.'_'.-----.| (o)(o)------''._.' (O) LGB The difference between a pigeon and the average farmer is that the pigeon can still make a deposit on a tractor. ==================== I've learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. ==================== I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it. ==================== By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence! ==================== This house is protected by killer dust bunnies. ==================== Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes. ==================== If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet? ==================== The only tools one needs in life: WD-40 to make things go and duct tape to make them stop. ==================== A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence. ==================== She Said: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries,troubles and lighten your burden." He Said: "It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles." She Said: "Well that's because we aren't married yet." -<>- >I Just Can't Communicate A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a large carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is 'yes'." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me." -<>- _________________________ || || || || || ||, , ,|| || || (||/|/(\||/ || || ||| _'_`||| || || || o o || || || (|| - `||) || || || = || || ScS || ||\___/|| || ||___||) , (||___|| /||---||-\_/-||---||\ / ||--_||_____||_--|| \ (_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_) |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""| | "Honest, ossifer, I don't | |'member whips, chains, and | | leather womens....*burp*" | """"""""""""""""""""""""""" Sher^ 2/14/98 >What's Best.......Prison Vs. Work Compared IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8 x 10 cell. AT WORK you spend most of your time in a 6 x 8 cubicle. IN PRISON you get three meals a day. AT WORK you only get a break for 1 meal, and you have to pay for it and it tastes like prison food. IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. IN PRISON a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON you get your own toilet. AT WORK you have to share. IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK you cannot even speak to your family and friends. IN PRISON all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. AT WORK you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. AT WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars. IN PRISON there are wardens who are often sadistic. AT WORK they are called managers. Still.... Where Would You Rather Be Today? -<>- >Have You Heard? You heard about the new hair salon which opened up right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place, didn't you? They put up a big bold sign, "WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!" Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put out his own sign: "WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS" -<>- >Signs You Might Be From Montana ' . ' . . . : . . '. ______ .' ' _.-"` `"-._ ' .' '. `'--. / \ .--'` / \ ; ; - -- | | -- - | _. | ; /__`A ,_ ; .-' \ |= |;._.}{__ / '-. _.-""-|.' # '. ` `.-"{}<._ / 1938 \ \ x `" ----/ \_.-'|--X---- -=_ | | |- X. =_ - __ |_________|_.-'|_X-X## jgs `'-._|_|;:;_.-'` '::. `"- .:;. .:. ::. '::. Here's a few tidbits about the 41st state: - Montana is the only state with no daytime speed limit - Montana has an area of 147,046 square miles (4th largest) - It also has a population of 799,065 people (6th smallest) - That's about 5-6 people per square mile ************************************** *The wind is faster than your truck. *Every other vehicle is a 4x4. *The sun goes down and you immediately grab your coat. *In March your vehicle is 43% mud. *You installed your new computer using a Leatherman tool. *Wolves are naturally free and house cats are on a leash. *You hear the words "stream" or "brook" pronounced as "crick". *The elevation exceeds the population of your town. *You can pay for a "Big Mac" with a personal check. *There's a Bison in your lane. *Your central heating system is fueled by large logs. *You can see the stars at night. *People drive 200+ miles to shop at a mall. *Your great grandmother is older than the courthouse. *You got a set of new snow tires for Valentine's Day. *More than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is Elk. *The term "wind chill factor" is part of your daily vocabulary. *The bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house. *You put on a pair of snowboots to get the morning paper. *You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita. *A girls' basketball game fills the school gym. *You put the car heater on your list of best friends. *Tractors are a normal part of traffic. *You use your back porch as a freezer from October thru May. *Your telephone book is smaller than most magazines. *You have made jerky at least once in your life. *Dressing up means wearing a clean flannel shirt and jeans that aren't too dirty. *You think a blacktop road (without stripes) that averages 12 feet wide qualifies as a highway. *You consider someone a neighbor if they only live 6 or 7 miles away. *You wave to every car on the highway, whether you're on foot or driving or even sitting on the creek bank with your back to the road. *You ignore the center line and drive on whichever part of the road is smoothest, driest, or feels safest. *Your idea of Mexican cuisine is Elk Chili and Bear Tacos. *You know what "Montana Potatoes" are. *You local Radio Shack sells guns, chainsaws, and satellite dishes. *You love the BIG SKY! -<>- >Spending Too Much, Son? Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, a Father asked the boy how much his last date had cost. The son calculated a minute then replied, "Oh, about $15 or so I think." "Well," said the Father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening." "To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have done more, but that was all the money she had." -<>- >It's Just Gotta Be love An older couple regularly attended church. The pastor was much impressed by how harmonious and how in love they seemed. They always held hands all through the service. One day after church, the pastor couldn't resist going up to them to express his admiration. He said, "I find it so inspirational to see how deeply in love you are, even, after all these years, holding hands like that." The wife looked up sharply and said, "It's not love, Pastor, I'm just keeping him from cracking his knuckles." -<>- >Are you reading that paper The scene: The "F" train of the subway line in New York City. I was commuting from the Borough of Queens to my job in Manhattan. I'd finished reading the morning paper and was saving it to bring to friends on the job. How do you save a newspaper on the subway? You sit on it. A new commuter came in, saw the newspaper under my rear and asked the second most stupid question I've ever heard (someday I may tell of the first), "Are you reading that paper?" I stood up, turned the page, sat down on the paper and answered, "Yes." -<>- >Wrong Message? The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. "I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register." "Well, interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?" "Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown. "However, you sent us some golf pencils...each stamped with the words, 'Play Golf Next Sunday.'" -<>- >Get on Board Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then leave this den of Satan," said the priest, as he walked up to O'Toole. "Do you want to go to heaven?" "No, I don't Father," O'Toole replied. The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole smiled, "Oh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now..." -<>- >The Worst Day Of My Life Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!" -<>- _________________________ (, ______________________ ) | | || | | @@@@ || @@@@ | | @@@@@@@ || @@@@@@@ | | @@ - - || - @@@@ | | @ c/ || '_ @@@ | | _@| |_ || __\@ \@ | | ( \ )/_\ /_ || _\\ (/ ) @\_/) | | \ \|) / \) || |(__/ / /| | | |\_/ ( -/ || \___/ ----/_| | | / \ || ,: '( | | : _/| || |: \ | | : | || |: ) | | : | || |: | | |_______'____,_|_______|| |_____,_| .---('________________________)--. | / ( |____ __________ _| | /\ ) |___| -o- | |__| -o- | ( \| / |___| -o- | |__| -o- | | /'=. b'ger|________| |__|______| '=>/ \ / \ /|/ ,___/| >Mirror, Mirror Mirror, mirror on the wall Do you have to tell it all? Where do you get the glaring right To make my clothes look just too tight? I think I'm fine but I can see you won't cooperate with me; The way you let the shadows play You'd think my hair was getting gray What's that, you say? A double chin? No, that's the way the light comes in; If you persist in peering so You'll confiscate my facial glow, And then if you're not hanging straight You'll tell me next I'm gaining weight; I'm really quite upset with you For giving this distorted view; I hate you being smug and wise ~ O, look what's happened to my thighs! I warn you now, O mirrored wall, Since we're not on speaking terms at all, If I look like this in my new jeans You'll find yourself in smithereens!! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Kids Being Kids 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids2.html Humor With Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carhumor.html Humorous Signs 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns2.html Morons at Work 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork3.html Extreme Rednecks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eredneck.html Amazing Bus Stops!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bus.html Why Me? Moments!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whyme.html Life's Little Oops 13!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops13.html USA Of Crazy Laws!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscrazylaws.html Got A Nanosecond 5?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano5.html Truth In Advertising!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ads.html Most Expensive Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/expensivecars.html Humorous Boat Names!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boatnames.html -<>- >Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :) Fun Pages http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559 -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Young magician Moritz Mueller from Germany has a brilliant smooth touch and impresses even experienced magicians with his superb skill. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qCKK9Rt4WKU A new vision of the sensations and emotions in the oceans. No special effects were used - just various camera angles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4os6issnLhs&feature=player_embedded This cute and adorable Beagle puppy has detected an intruder in the bathroom and is determined to fight it until it knows who the Alpha is. Or perhaps it's just a puppy being a puppy and has found an easy way to entertain itself using the ever present roll of toilet paper for it's entertainment. Life Without Paper truly would be a struggle wouldn't it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=lYKUJSy0-vY Dogs aren't always about rivalry with cats, and as they find themselves often living with them, will usually resort to play and asking of a friendship. Most cats, however, are hard to befriend. That said, the persistent dog may eventually wear that nervous feline down. This video is both hilarious and heartwarming, especially as some of the dogs eventually wear the wary felines down. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xXAy_QU5WE8 --- ...HaHa! Pretty Neat! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) He sent us one we have here... Remember the Guy that Wouldn't take the Flag down in his yard? Here's His Story... Proud Of Our Troops 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops5.html Would love to know how many man hours it took to produce this outstanding commercial. Almost unbelievable. Great HONDA Advertisement http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/Dxy4n0UT82o?rel=0 --- ...Love These! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Chihuahua. There's a waste of dog food. Looks like a dog that is still far away." --Billiam Coronell "It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." -Sam Levenson "I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later." -Mitch Hedberg "Although a lot of people are on these low-carb diets, doctors say be careful, because you need carbohydrates because carbohydrates create a chemical in your brain that cheers you up and fights depression. So the next time you see a guy on a ledge, about to jump... throw him a dough- nut." --Jay Leno "A woman in California is being studied because she says she remembers everything from the last 12 years. And I'm thinking, 'Wait a minute — isn't that every woman?'" -Dave Letterman "This week a man in Florida was arrested for hitting the manager of a Taco Bell in the face with a bag full of Tacos. Afterwards, the Taco Bell manager said, 'It's weird, my tacos usually don't attack me until I'm in the bathroom.'" -Conan O'Brien After a day full of accidents and mistakes, my coworker had had it. "Why," she cried out in exasperation, "do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?!" "People are going on dates now to coffee bars. This is the worst idea. Four cappuccinos later, your date doesn't look any better." --Margot Black "For God's sake give me the young man who has brains enough to make a fool of himself." -Robert L Stevenson >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************