Male Watching Day, Get Your Hug On And More... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
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bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
*~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com
The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the
ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each
week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While
the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site
down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help!
"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
_..---.._
.' .-'''-. '.
/ .' _..._'. \
__ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\
,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_|
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,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' /
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`\_ .' '._ /
'._ .(`
jgs '._ ';./
`;`
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
>Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel?
If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel,
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PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help:
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*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT!
================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
AND For Facebook Users:
Please Friend Me / Like Me here...
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AND For Google Plus Users:
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https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts
AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family!
^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :)
-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This smoking hot new page is from our friend Linda. People
who spend countless hours perfecting and achieving their
goals never cease to amaze me. This is one such artist who
makes stunning art with just paper and a surgical knife. Be
sure to check this out here and think of all the cuts she
had to make to achieve such wonderful detail...
________ ___,,,,,,,
jgs [________>__________\
Cut Paper Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/paperart3.html
---
...Most beautiful! Thanks Linda!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
_____ __________
\_+_/ |
.//`\\. | _______
((o,o)) | | |
'.=.' | | EKCFL |
_)_(_ | | flpeb |
/' \ / '\ | | ,.,., |
/ (_ | _) \ | |_______|
/ / )_o_( \ \ |()
\ \/ \/ / |
\/_) (_\/ _|__|~|_______
| | |______________
| | , ||, '
Sher^ |_______| || ,
\ | / || ,
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital and she timidly
asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a
patient is doing?"
The operator responded, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the
patient's name and room number?"
The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room
302."
The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her
nurse."
After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news.
Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure
is fine; her blood work just came back as normal. And her physician,
Dr.Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried!
God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your
daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells
me anything."
-<>-
Watson came excitedly to Sherlock Holmes place and told him his dog had
swallowed his ring.
Sherlock told Watson, "Don't worry. He will pass it eventually."
Watson replies, "Thank you very much, Sherlock."
Sherlock says to Watson, "It's alimentary, my dear Watson."
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
January 7 is Old Rock Day
January 8 is Bubble Bath Day and Male Watcher's Day
January 9 is Play God Day and National Take the Stairs Day
January 10 is Bittersweet Chocolate Day, Houseplant Appreciation Day
and Peculiar People Day
January 11 is Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend's Day
January 12 is Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day and National Pharmacist
Day
January 13 is International Skeptics Day and Make Your Dream Come
True Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
.MMM.'''.
MMMMMo o|
MMMMM - :
_: :_| |__
/ \__ /
| |_ \_.' /)
\(_E3___.'|
| | |saffy
>Lingering Hug
We had made some changes in our lives.
My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight years of being a
housewife, I had taken a job in a restaurant.
When I returned home after my first day at work, I gave my
husband a big hug.
He seemed to cling to me longer than usual.
"Did you really miss me that much today, dear?" I asked.
"No," came the reply.
"But you smell so much like pancakes that I hate to let you go."
-<>-
>New Year's Dinner
As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual
conflict of which was more important - the football games on
television, or the dinner itself.
To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even
lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring
to the family room to turn on the game.
Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even
brought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and
asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third
quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.
"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."
-<>-
>Nursing Home Wedding
A rabbi was called to a Miami Beach Nursing Home to perform a wedding.
An anxious old man met him at the door. The rabbi sat down to counsel
the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?"
The old man replied, "I guess."
"Is she a good Jewish woman?"
"I don't know for sure," the old man answered.
"Does she have lots of money?" asked the rabbi.
"I doubt it."
"Then why are you marrying her?" the rabbi asked.
"She can drive at night," the old man said.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
__
/_/\/\
\_\ /
/_/ \
\_\/\ \
\_\/
unknown
>SMILES
A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away
from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the
Jewish faith.
To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage.
A year later the young man returned home.
"Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers," the son
said. "It was wonderful and enlightening, however, I must confess that
while in Israel I converted to Christianity."
"Oi vey," replied the father, "what have I done."
So in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and
sought his advice and solace.
"It is amazing that you should come to me," stated his friend, "I too
sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian."
So in the tradition of the patriarchs they went to the Rabbi.
"It is amazing that you should come to me," stated the Rabbi, "I too
sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian. What is happening to
our sons?"
"Brothers, we must take this to the Lord," said the Rabbi.
They fell to their knees and began to wail and pour out their hearts to
the Almighty. As they prayed the clouds opened and a mighty voice
stated,
"Amazing that you should come to Me. I, too, sent My Son to Israel....."
--------
Two blonde girls were taking their first train trip to Arkansas on the
train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never
seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and
bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged
from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't
eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for
half a minute."
----------
An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays,
such as Christmas and Easter; and Jews celebrate their holidays, such as
Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays. EVERY religion has
its holidays. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized national
holidays. It's an unfair discrimination." His friend replied, "Well...
Why don't you celebrate April first?"
----------
Two democrats were walking through a rough part of the city in the
evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane.
Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood.
"Help me, I've been mugged and viciously beaten." he pleaded. The two
democrats turned and walked away. One remarked to the other: "You know
the person that did this really needs help."
----------
One day on his way to work, my husband stopped at the cafeteria as it
began to rain.
Forgetting that he hadn't brought an umbrella, he reached for the
nearest one when he got up to leave.
"That's my umbrella," a woman immediately scolded.
Abashed at his mistake, he walked on to his office. He was drenched by
the time he arrived.
Once there, he discovered three umbrellas that he had left in the office
over the months, and he decided to bring them home at the end of the
day.
That afternoon he ran into the same woman who had confronted him
earlier.
She looked at the umbrellas, then at him, and tartly remarked: "You did
real well for yourself today, didn't you?"
----------
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about a job. In the
first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote
this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE
UP!" In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted
in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened
it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she
said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a
warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window,
opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do
you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I
have a crew of blonds laying sod across the street."
---
...TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
.----------.
/ .-. .-. \
/ | | | | \
\ `-' `-' _/
/\ .--. / |
\ | / / / /
/ | `--' /\ \
/`-------' \ \ Jym Dyer
>Thanks...
I just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time and trouble to send
me "forwards" and "important" news over the past 12 months.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes, because I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope. Also, I have to scrub the top of every can I open for
the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper, since the
people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under
God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
cologne sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by, UPS or FedEx
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friend sand make a wish within five
minutes.
I no longer have any money because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the 258th time) but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and Google are sending me for
participating in their special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favor!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your
head at 6:00 p.m. London time this very evening. I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-
mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
Happy New Year to one and all!
---
...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
>Great Orators of the Democrat Party –PAST:
"One man with courage makes a majority." ~Andrew Jackson
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
"The buck stops here." ~Harry S. Truman
"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for
your country." ~John F. Kennedy
,-. ,-.
( * ) ( * )
`-' `-'
<##>
/\/\
/\ / \
/ \/\ /\/\/ \
/ \/\/ \
/ /
\ /\ /
\/\ /\/\/ \/\/\ /
\/\/ \/ Krogg
Great Orators of the Democrat Party – RECENT:
"It depends what your definition of 'is' is?''
~William Jefferson Clinton
"Those rumors are false. I believe in the sanctity of marriage."
~John Edwards
"What difference does it make?" (re: Benghazi)
~Hillary Clinton
"I invented the Internet."
~Al Gore
"America is, is no longer, uh, what it, uh, could be, uh, what it was
once was, uh, and I say to myself, uh, I don't want that future, uh,
for my children."
~Barack Obama
"I have campaigned in all 57 states."
~Barack Obama (Quoted 2008)
"You don't need God anymore; you have us Democrats."
~Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006)
"Paying taxes is voluntary."
~Sen. Harry Reid
"Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful,
true, and honest than he is."
~Hillary Rodham Clinton (Quoted 1998)
"You have a business. You didn't build that. Someone else did!"
~Barack Obama (Quoted 2012)
And the most ridiculous gem of wisdom, from the "Mother Superior Moron":
"We just have to pass the Healthcare Bill to see what's in it."
~Nancy Pelosi (Quoted March, 2010 )
(As one Doctor said: “That is also the perfect definition of a stool
sample.”) I LOVE THAT ONE
Beyond a doubt, the greatest statement of all was made by Democrat House
Speaker Sam Rayburn at the first Congressional session after Ted Kennedy
was caught, on camera, having sex with one of his aides on the deck of
his yacht .... "Ah see that the good Senatuh from the great state of
Massutwoshits has changed his position on off-shore drillin'."
AND THE LATEST FROM THIS DYSFUNCTIONAL BUNCH IS.......
"My fear is if North Korea nukes us, Trump is gonna get us into a war."
~Maxine Waters (Quoted 2017)
They're almost humanoid aren't they?!?
---
...LMAO! Thanks LouiseAu!
Don't forget the newest 'no brain' member of Congress...
Cortez has expressed strong anti-capitalist sentiments:
“Unemployment is low because everyone has two jobs,” said Ocasio-
Cortez in an interview on PBS’ “Firing Line with Margaret Hoover” in
July when pressed on why the unemployment rate was low in a capitalist
system. “Unemployment is low because people are working 60, 70, 80
hours a week and can barely feed their kids.”
See more of her not too smart remarks here:
7 alarming quotes from the Democrat’s new socialist poster child
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
https://tinyurl.com/y897tqc6
I don't know how she graduated college or how she got elected! Lots
of energy and mouth but not much brain being used behind it.
She's like a box of rocks. She wants free medical, free college,
free homes for all. To pay for it she says 70% tax on the richest.
Hello! That will cause the rich to not invest in business which
leads to less jobs for the rest of society. The rich too may simply
move out of the country to be able to keep their own money they
earned. Without jobs, people have to depend on the government for
their livelihood. When the government money runs out, all hell breaks
out! Like with Venezuela, under Cortez's socialist guidelines, America
would go down in flames! All the people except those in high
government positions suffer greatly!
https://www.heritage.org/index/country/venezuela
Socialism doesn't work - never has, never will. We don't need
communism which is socialism like with Stalin's ideas and rules.
https://www.history.com/topics/russia/joseph-stalin
President Trump is showing us how capitalism DOES work:
312,000 Jobs Added In December 2018, Manufacturing Growing 714% Faster
Under Trump Than Obama
https://tinyurl.com/ybwjoa5s
That's God's Way!
Eph.4:
[28] Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour,
working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have
to give to him that needeth.
God wants you to work so you can give to the poor - those who can't
work. God doesn't want you just taking free stuff from the government:
2 Thes.3:
[10] For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if
any would not work, neither should he eat.
If you WOULD not work - neither should you eat. No handouts to lazy
people who just want a free ride!
Prov.19:
[15] Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall
suffer hunger.
The devil wants people to suffer. He's the one pushing for socialism.
God wants what is best for us. He wants people to work...
Heb.6
[12] That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith
and patience inherit the promises.
I don't know about you, but I'll choose God's way over the socialist
way any day!
=========================================================
>-->From HandyHints:
. ( )
' . ( ( )
,___________.
| _________ |
|| ,### ||
|| ####' %||
|| ##` #||
|| :### # ||
|| '####/ ||
|| ##` ||
|| ###; ||
||-_-_-_-_-||
|| '###; ||
|| '6#' ||
|| ;#' ||
|| ;#`#; ||
|| #!' # ||
||%____#___||
|___________|
Taliszanna
How Long Should You Use Your Bath Towel Without Washing It?
You may think that since you are clean after a hot shower that
your towel should be for awhile, but you're wrong! The average
towel collect millions of dead skin cells as well as bacteria
that your loofah didn't scrub off.
On top of that here's a little more salt for that wound...
most toilets are not that far away from the shower. Droplets
of toilet water can reach far and wide when flushed...leaving
your towel at risk.
Thank goodness towel care isn't rocket science, it just requires
more effort than most of us want to put in.
So here's the answer...don't go more than three uses without
washing your towel. Make sure to use warm or hot water with
detergent.
-<>-
Clean your blender with soap
It can be kind of scary to clean your blender...you are essentially
sticking your hand into a container filled with knives and hoping
for the best as you try to remove the remains from your banana
and spinach smoothie.
Good news, it's easy with this hint.
Pour some warm water, a touch of baking soda, and a splash of
dish soap and pulse for a few seconds.
Give it a good rinse or throw it in the dishwasher for additional
cleaning.
-<>-
Why pay for cleaning rags?
That's one concept I've never grasped! All you need
to do is cut up old t-shirts into rags.
The soft material is great for cleaning any surface! It even works
on glass. This is one way to reuse household items that can really
pay off since cleaning rags wear out so quickly.
-<>-
Here is a tip for reusing a household item I was dubious about
until I tried it. When you use all your dish soap, wash out the
bottle and save it.
You'll be surprised at the uses for squeeze bottles! They are so
convenient for watering house plants.
If you have ever spilled water all over the place trying to water
a potted plant with a cup you know what I mean.
=========================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
Justice with Judge Jeanine 1/5/19
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f4AMvA7bPg
Trump Job Numbers EXPLODE
https://1600daily.com/2019/01/04/trump-job-numbers-explode/
President Trump Speaks Out on Impeachment
“How do you impeach a president who has won perhaps the greatest
election of all time, done nothing wrong (no Collusion with Russia,
it was the Dems that Colluded), had the most successful first two
years of any president, and is the most popular Republican in party
history 93%?” Trump asked on Twitter.
https://1600daily.com/2019/01/04/president-trump-speaks-impeachment/
Trump’s Amazing Judicial Record
The Senate in 2018 confirmed 67 federal judges to lifetime appointments:
one Supreme Court justice, 18 judges to the U.S. courts of appeals, and
48 judges to the federal district courts (which is where trials are
conducted).
https://1600daily.com/2019/01/04/trumps-amazing-judicial-record/
WhiteHouseNews:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Students For Life
https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6
Latest From OperationRescue:
http://www.operationrescue.org/
Today's Best Conservative Humor!
https://theusawire.com/2018/03/8092-todays-best-conservative-humor/
RECALLS: Milk, Potato Chips, Antibiotics
http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
In space no one can hear you scream, but they can hear you
call 911 Emergency. How good is your cell service? Recently
Dutch physician and ESA astronaut Andre Kuipers tried to
call home from the International Space Station, but it's
hard pressing those little numbers in zero gravity. Kuipers
missed out a number when making a call through HQ back on
Earth - and ended up connecting to US emergency services.
The astronomical blunder sparked panic at the Johnson Space
Centre in Texas and a security team was scrambled to the
room where the call was put through. Oblivious to the chaos
he caused, the dutchman said he only realised his error when
he received an email the following day.
"The next day I received an email message: 'Did you call
911?'" Kuipers joked: "I was a little disappointed that they
had not come up."
The astronaut explained how it is surprisingly easy to
communicate with earth while on board the ISS. He said that
calls worked 70 per cent of the time - but that huge time
delays were a struggle.
-<>-
*---- 'Why Won't You Die?' ----*
Rhys Howard of Perth, Australia, screamed so loudly while he
was killing a spider that police were called to his house.
A concerned resident called police after they heard Howard
shouting "why won't you die?" along with a child screaming.
Howard, despite being scared of spiders, killed it using a
diaper -- as his partner Kara was in the shower. His daughter,
the child heard screaming, was nearby. "The first thing I
could grab was a nappy... so I was on the floor saying 'why
won't you die', and screaming and my daughter was screaming
in the playroom," Howard told local news. Howard described
how shocked he was to see police at his door. Howard also
said his fear of spiders comes from having one land on his
head as a child.
*---- Butt Gun ----*
Deputies at the Lafourche Parish Jail in Louisiana found a
gun concealed in the buttocks of a man during a search.
Police spotted suspicious activity at the home of Lori
Dupuy on December 28. When the officers approached to
investigate, Dupuy gave a false name and then fled the
scene. The officers then questioned Justin Savoie, who was
also at the home. During a pat down of Savoie, officers
discovered a concealed handgun, marijuana, and a pipe used
for smoking marijuana. While Savoie was undergoing a strip
search during his processing, deputies found a small gun
concealed in his buttocks. Savoie was charged with first
offense possession of marijuana, possession of drug para-
phernalia, and improper registration of a firearm.
Surprisingly he was NOT charged with improper transportation
of a firearm. Maybe keeping a gun up your butt is legal in
Louisiana. The caliber and make of the gun has not been
released.
+--- Fisherman Teels in 60 Pounds of Coke ---*
Authorities in Florida said a fisherman reeled in a package
that turned out to be filled with up to 60 pounds of suspected
cocaine. The Monroe County Sheriff's Office said a fisherman
was returning to Islamorada in the Florida Keys when he spotted
a bale under a dock. The fisherman used a gaff and a net to
pull the package into his boat and he determined it was filled
with an unidentified white powder. Sheriff's deputies and U.S.
Border Patrol investigators responded and discovered the bale
contained 25 plastic-wrapped packages of what is believed to
be cocaine. The packages were turned over to federal
authorities. "This happens fairly regularly, about once or
twice every year," sheriff's office spokesman Adam Linhardt
sais. "We live in the part of the country where it washes up
on the Florida Keys."
*--- Texas Couple Welcome 15-pound Baby ---*
A Texas couple who thought they wouldn't be able to have a
baby without fertility treatments were surprised by the birth
of a record-breaking 15-pound baby. Jennifer and Eric Medlock
said their first child, Annabelle, was born with the help of
fertility treatments after Jennifer was diagnosed with
polycystic ovarian syndrome. The Arlington couple said they
were preparing to start treatments to have another child when
they discovered they had naturally conceived their second
baby, Ali, who was born weighing 14 pounds, 13 ounces. Doctors
at Arlington Memorial Hospital said Ali weighs about twice as
much as an average newborn and is a new size record for the
hospital. "He is meant for something big," Jennifer Medlock
told KTVT. "Maybe not football -- everyone keeps saying that."
Guinness World Records lists the heaviest newborn on record as
weighing 22 pounds.
=========================================================
>-->From TheGroaner:
.======================================.
| ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ |
| \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| |
| _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| |
'===================================== ,sSSSs
DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "(
.:. SSS@ =/ \~/
C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_
___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.-
[____________________________________] \ /\//
| ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/
| (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ;
| | | | | | | | | | |____|
| | | | | | | | | | \ |\
| | | | | | | | | | ) ) )
| |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/
| I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ |
jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\
Y\_\
>French Fry Needs A Drink
A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender, "Hey,
could I get a beer please?"
The bartender looks at him shaking his head and says, "No, we don't
serve food here."
-<>-
>The Old Snake and the Doctor
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes... can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to
return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very
depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem... didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living
with a water hose the past 2 years!"
-<>-
>Backseat Barker
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake,
was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a
dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
-<>-
>That's Horrible!
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster
says, "Two Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident."
The blonde starts crying and says to her husband while sobbing,
"That's horrible! So many men dying that way!"
Confused the husband replies "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were
skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, still sobbing, she says, "So how many is a
Brazilian?"
-<>-
>Q and A Quickies
Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel testicles?
A: Sparky.
Q: What do you call a huge pile of cats?
A: A Meowtain!
Q: How do you get an 80 year old lady to use the F-word?
A: Have another 80 year old lady yell Bingo!
Q: What do dogs wear to science class?
A Lab coats.
.,,,. ... .,,,.
((o o)) (`@ @`) ((6 6))
___\ - /___ ___\ o /___ ___\ v /___
($_ & _$) ($_ % _$) ($_ & _$)
| % | | & | | % |
| & | | % | | & |
/ % \ / & \ / % \
_/ / \ \_ _/ / \ \_ _/ / \ \_
($__/ \__$) ($__/ \__$) ($__/ \__$) ldb
Q: What does a gingerbread man use to make his bed?
A: Cookie sheets.
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_______________________________________
/\ . . . . . \
| \ Best wishes for a terrific new year! \
\/ | * . . . . . .|
| . * . . From all of us . * |
/______________________________________/__
/ \ . . . * . . . `\
\_/ * . . . . * . /
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lev Lawrence
A New York judge is ready to go through the day's business
and he is very rushed. The first case up involves an elderly
Jewish gentleman with a long beard, payos, the works.
The judge, without asking a question, says to the clerk:
"Quick... get me a translator."
Translator shows up and the judge says: "Ask him what his
name is, how old is he and where does he come from?"
The translator says: "Die judge vilt vissen, vos is dein
namen, vie alt bist du, and fun vie kumst du?"
The old man smiles, looks at the judge and says in perfect
English with a British accent: "Your Honour. My name is
Sir Chaim Ginsbug. I shall be 82 next Thursday and I've
come from England where I hold the chair of Hebrew Philosophy
at Oxford University."
The translator turns to the judge and says: "Ehr zukt, ehr
is Sir Chaim Ginsburg, ehr is tzwei und achtzig yur alt,
und ehr is, mit sach Yiddish philisoph, areingekummen vun
Oxford."
-<>-
A man tell his friend, "I went to my doctor to see if he
could help me give up smoking."
"What did he say?"
"He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should
reach for a bar of chocolate."
"Did that do any good?"
"No, I can't get the chocolate to light."
-<>-
___
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| | : ; `.: .mMMM:
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fsc `.i_;I '-._i.'
Choosing a movie? Try these extremely abbreviated plot
explanations:
- The Shining: A family's first Airbnb experience goes very
wrong.
- The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning
jewelry.
- Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.
- Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.
- The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet.
-<>-
A man and his friend were exiting a drugstore and at the
front door there was a scale.
"Look, a scale," the man said to his friend. "Let's see
how my new diet is working out."
He stepped on the scale.
"I can't believe it!" he said as he read the result. "I've
been on this diet for two weeks but the scale says I'm
heaver than I was before! How can that be?"
He pondered this as he stepped off the scale, then had a
thought. He took off his jacket and handed it to his friend.
"Here, hold my jacket," he said.
The friend took the jacket as the man stepped back on the
scale.
Not much change.
"Here," he said as he handed his purchase from the drugstore
to his friend. "Hold my Twinkies too."
-<>-
Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the
kids we had to leave "right now"at which point our teenage
daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad
yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed
for the garage grumbling.
On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rear-
view mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush,
which produced the predictable lecture. "Look at your mom,"
he said. "She didn't put on any makeup just to go sit in a
dark movie theater."
>From the back I heard, "Yeah, but Mom doesn't need makeup."
My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to
thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she
continued, "Nobody looks at her."
-<>-
_____ ,-----. ,---. ____
.' `.: : ``: :`.,' `.
/ : : ` ` ` ` : : |
/ ` ` ` ` |
/ v |
/ v | |
/ v | ___ | |
/ | |-| | /-\ | | | (= |
/ | | | | |
/ | | | | |
/ | | | | |
( | | | | ===== |
\ | | | ===== |\ --- /
\ | ===== | ===== |\ --- / `---'
\ \ ----- A ---- / `---'
\ '`----'.`----'
\ \
\ _.-`
\ .` dp
`----'
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They are appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl's mom says, "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a
very nice boy."
"Oh, please, Mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice,
would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
=========================================================
>-->From TheMouth:
,////,
/// 6|
// _|
_/_,-'
_.-/'/ \ ,/;,
,-' /' \_ \ / _/
`\ / _/\ ` /
| /, `\_/
| \'
pb /\_ /` /\
/' /_``--.__/\ `,. / \
|_/` `-._ `\/ `\ `.
`-.__/' `\ |
`\ \
`\ \
\_\__
\___)
>Top 10 Strange Competitions
1. Extreme Ironing
2. Cheese Rolling
3. Curling
4. Rock Paper Scissors World Championship
5. Air Guitar Championships
6. Nettle-eating Championships
7. The World Beard and Mustache Championships
8. World Pea Shooting Championships
9. World Gurning Championship
10. Wife Carrying
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
World's Most Spectacular Places 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces2.html
Weird Old Vehicles!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldvehicles.html
Bucket List 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bucketlist2.html
Beware Of Dog Signs!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bewareofdog.html
Pets Left Home Alone!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome.html
Look Who's Talking 8!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking8.html
Animals And Windows!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsandwindows.html
Baby, It's Cold Outside!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coldpets.html
Exotic Birds!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/exoticbirds.html
Got A Nanosecond 6?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano6.html
Snow Fun 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowfun2.html
Journey Through Life!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/journey.html
Important Life Truths!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetruths.html
Attitude Is Everything 3!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude3.html
Animals First Snow!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsfirstsnow.html
Church Mouse Wisdom!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/churchmouse.html
Inspirational Life Quotes!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifequotes.html
Famous Inspiring Women!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womenquotes.html
Random Acts Of Kindness!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/actsofkindness.html
Inspirational Movie Quotes!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moviequotes.html
Return To Me - God!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/return.html
Kids On Angels!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cangels.html
New Year's Advice!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newyearadvice.html
Christmas/New Year Index!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html
-<>-
Some of Shangrala's Best Pages
http://www.amazafamily.com/index.html
-<>-
In Honor Of Male Watching day tomorrow - for The Ladies! :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUCoor3lKGg
Here Are 50 Cleverly-Disguised Actors & Killer Cameos
From Cracked.com: There are also some next-level cameos that are
objectively amazing. It's a famous person showing up in their own
biopic. It's the director turning up to make a meta-reference about
their career. Or a ridiculously famous celebrity trying to sneak in
under the radar. The result is a brilliant cameo that can rightfully
be called an Easter egg. From example ...
https://tinyurl.com/ybzvfpo5
Which State Do Your Manners Belong In?
Manners maketh man, so they say. Of course, manners are highly
context dependent. What's polite in one culture may be considered
rude in another.
https://tinyurl.com/y97njd8z
Internet Movie Database is the biggest, best, most award-
winning movie and TV site on the planet. Look up facts,
quotes, promotional material and other fun stuff about your
favorite movies.
http://www.imdb.com/
Awkward Giraffes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iPxhrCmbTs
Animals Show Love for Humans - Animals Hugging People -
Animals Cuddling - Get Your Hug On!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTMR8k9gmWQ
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE
This Trick Won The Magic World Championships And It Has Utterly
Destroyed Our Brains
Eric Chien's "Ribbon" routine — which won the Grand Prix at the FISM
World Championships — is 6 minutes of color- and reality-shifting
madness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvzMqIQLiXE
---
...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
Watch Dean Martin Crack Up as Foster Brooks Steals the Show
https://tinyurl.com/y97ywbt8
New Country Song ... My Dog
Still laughing.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/H3VLqLLWxbQ?rel=0
---
...HaHa! LOL! Thanks Linda!
Hypocrisy 101: John Kerry Fights Law To Stop Migrant Access To
Beachfront Property
https://tinyurl.com/y7uexjz9
---
...Geesh! Thanks Linda!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"My New Year's resolution this year was to get a gym member-
ship, use it twice, and then never use it again. I'm already
halfway there." -Jimmy Kimmel
"A seventh grade teacher in California was arrested for
teaching while drunk. Which is why an entire Earth Science
class now thinks hurricanes are formed when rum collides
with lime juice, passion fruit, and crushed ice in a hot
pink souvenir cup from Senor Frog's." -Jimmy Fallon
"Yale University's being pushed to modify a poetry course
because students have complained that the content is too
white. Students objected specifically to a poem called
'Ode to a Lost Prius in the Whole Foods Parking Lot.'"
-Conan O'Brien
"The post office just can't get its act together. They
announced today they want to raise the price of stamps
so they can make an extra $2 billion. That is still better
than their original plan - uninvent the Internet."
-Jimmy Fallon
"A new study found that American workers lack the problem-
solving skills that workers in other countries have. When
American workers heard about the study they said, 'So?
What can we do about it?'" -Jimmy Kimmel
"New research came out that reveals that being attractive
in high school leads to success later in life. So finally
some good news for hot, popular teenagers." -Conan O'Brien
"There's a new workout where people crawl like a baby.
It's a new thing, because it strengthens your core while
working your shoulders and hips. In response, babies were
like, 'Have you seen our bodies?'" -Jimmy Fallon
"Here in California, some Starbucks stores have begun
selling beer and wine. When asked why, a spokesperson for
Starbucks said, 'Because sober people don't buy Michael
Buble CDs.'" -Conan O'Brien
"Apple's top designer has created a special Christmas tree
that does not feature any lights or decorations. Said the
designer, 'I didn't know this was due today.'" -Seth Meyers
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a
dog it's too dark to read."
--Groucho Marx
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television,
we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
--Johnny Carson
"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?"
--Steven Wright
"Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature."
- Kin Hubbard
"In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the
rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only
what they are. They are, in very important respects, what
they seem to be."
- Hubert H. Humphrey
"There are some defeats more triumphant than victories."
- Michel de Montaigne
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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