Mathematics And The Savior... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This scorching new page is from our friends Linda, Bunni and Geniann. It is sure to give you some smiles and maybe even some chuckles! A delightful one you won't want to miss. Give it time to load and check it out here... /\ <<<<< () [] >>>>> ___||____|____ _______||____ ____||___|___ | ____ ____ || ____ ____ || ____ ____ | | |VV| |VV| || |WW| |WW| || |UU| |UU| | | |==| |==| || |==| |==| || |==| |==| | | |__| |__| || |__| |__| || |__| |__| | | ____ ____ || ____ ____ || ____ ____ | | |VV| |VV| || |WW| |WW| || |UU| |UU| | () | |==| |==| || |==| |==| || |==| |==| | () ()\/() |__| |__| || |__| |__| || |__| |__| ()\/() ._\()/_. || || ._\()/_. || | || || | || || | ______ || ______ || ______ | || || | ____ | 42 | || ____ | 44 | || ____ | 46 | | || || | |VV| | | || |WW| | | || |UU| | | | || || | |==| | o| || |==| | o| || |==| | o| | || || | |__| | | || |__| | | || |__| | | | || __||_| | | || | | || | | |_||__ || |_______|____|_||______|____|_||______|____|_| || ||/_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/____\||lc '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Chalk Art 9 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart9.html --- ...This is a super fun artist! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: What Do You Want For Your Birthday? One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 == __\ bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's __.-"\---|__ father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 / \\_@\-'/ \ mortgage on the house, and you want me to jgs \__/ \__/ buy you a bicycle??? Wait until Christmas!" Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time." Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving. Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were 'pulling out,' and mommy said that 'you should wait because she was coming, too....' "And I'll be danged if I'm gonna be stuck with your $80,000 mortgage!" _ _ (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) 1999 Darwin Awards - Criminal Category The long awaited 1999 Darwin "Natural Selection" Awards - Criminal Category have been released! These awards are given each year to bestow upon that individual, who through isolation by incarceration, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. RUNNER-UP # 8 Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. RUNNER-UP # 7 A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested. RUNNER-UP # 6 San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. RUNNER-UP # 5 From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture... of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the fine. RUNNER-UP # 4 Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself. RUNNER-UP # 3 Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant District Attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence. RUNNER-UP # 2 Detroit: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri. RUNNER-UP # 1 Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. THE WINNER A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued....and won. In delivering the ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. _ _ (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) >-->A 2014 Darwin Awards Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. >Double Darwin Award! So many train deaths, the editors are railing against stupidity. (2 March 2014, Netherlands) Two intoxicated men dared each other to test their courage against an intercity train at a Rotterdam train station. At 1800 hours on a Sunday evening, the station was crowded with more than 300 fans returning from a soccer-match pitting Feyenoord against Ajax at De Kuip, the most beautiful soccer stadium in Holland. The two men stepped off the platform and strode forth onto the tracks. One superdaredevil lay down between the tracks, intending to prove that the entire train would pass over him. What a story to tell! His friend was less confident and he merely knelt down next to the track and kept his head as close as possible to where he thought the train's profile would be. Turns out that the 130 km/h train that came down the track some seconds later was both lower and wider than they thought. They were killed instantly. The 300+ onlookers on the platform were none too pleased by the spectacle, and train traffic was interrupted for several hours while authorities cleaned up the mess. Reader Comments: "The panel of judges were unanimous in their decision." "Life is hard. It's harder when you're stupid." "Immanent justice is merciless." "I've got an idea. Here, hold my beer." ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 13 is Fool's Paradise Day July 14 is National Nude Day July 15 is National Tapioca Pudding Day and Respect Canada Day July 16 is International Juggling Day July 17 is National Peach Ice Cream Day July 18 is National Ice Cream Day and National Caviar Day July 19 is Flitch Day --- ...July 17 is truly a 'peachy' day! Thanks Fran! ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ( ( ( ) ( ) ( ( Y Y ( ) ( ) |"| |"| Y Y | | | | |"| |"| | |.-----| |---.___ | | | | .--| |,~~~~~| |~~~,,,,'-| | | |-,,~~'-'___ '-' ~~| |._ .| |~ // ___ '-',,'. /,'-' <_// // _ __ ~,\ / ; ,-, \\_> <<_' ____________;_) | ; {(_)} _, ._>>`'-._ | | ; '-'\_\/> '-._ | |\ ~,,, _\__ ,,,,,'-. | | '-._ ~~,,, ,,,~~ __.-'~ | | | '-.__ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ __.-' |__| |\ `'----------'` _| | '=._ __.=' | : '=.__ __.=' | \ `'==========='` .' snd '-._ __.-' '-.__ __.-' `'-----------'` >Adventurous As my 50th birthday approached, I decided I'd do something adventurous, like sky diving. I was parking at the library and noticed a bumper sticker on the car next to mine. It read, "I'd rather be sky diving." I started to leave a note on the windshield, asking the owner to call me. However, I then noticed, hanging from the rearview mirror, a temporary permit for handicapped parking. Then I thought, "Maybe I'll try white-water rafting." -<>- >Buying a Car When buying an old second-hand car always insist on getting one with a heated rear window. That way, in winter, you can warm your hands while you're pushing it. -<>- >Dressed Alike I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers. My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we were all dressed in matching clothes. I asked my mother why she dressed us all alike, right down to the baby. She explained, "When we had just four children, I dressed you alike so we wouldn't lose any of you. Then," she added, looking at the pictures in the album, "When the other four came along, I started dressing you alike so we won't pick up any that don't belong to us." -<>- >Golf Clubs A golfer, known for his bad temper, walked into the Pro Shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of clubs. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time ... more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact, I've discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards farther than I could my last ones." -<>- >A Simple Explanation of Baseball This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out. If they get out before they get in, they come in, but it doesn't count. If they get in before they get out it does count. When the ones out get three outs from the ones in before they get in without being out, the team that's out comes in and the team in goes out to get those going in out before they get in without being out. When both teams have been in and out nine times the game is over. The team with the most in without being out before coming in wins unless the ones in are equal. In which case, the last ones in go out to get the ones in out before they get in without being out. The game will end when each team has the same number of ins out but one team has more in without being out before coming in. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) _ / } /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb >SMILES A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly -- just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red-faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure, lady, which way was it headed?" -------- Hypochondriac: "I have a terrible pain in my left side. I think it's appendicitis!" Doctor: "No, that can't be. The appendix is on the right side." Hypochondriac: "So THAT'S why it hurts so much! My appendix is on the wrong side!" -------- I purchased a new computer and immediately ran into difficulties trying to set it up. I called the customer support phone number in the manual. Eventually I got through the "Press 1" menus and reached a human being. I described the problem to him. He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused me even more. Finally I said, "Sir ... can you please try to explain what I should do as if I were a small child?" "Okay, sure. Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?" -------- A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down...and I know he won't ask for directions." ------- A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" -------- A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?" The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk." The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth." The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door." The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst. Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. - But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk. --- ...Oh Gee! LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) >WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY ! Our... __i |---| |[_]| |:::| |:::| `\ \ \_=_\ jsm Phones ~ Wireless *Cooking ~ Fireless *Cars ~ Keyless *Food ~ Fatless *Tires ~ Tubeless *Dress ~ Sleeveless *Youth ~ Jobless *Leaders ~ Shameless *Relationships ~ Meaningless *Attitude ~ Careless *Wives ~ Fearless *Babies ~ Fatherless *Feelings ~ Heartless *Education ~ Valueless *Children ~ Mannerless Everything is becoming LESS, but still our hopes are ~ Endless. In fact we are ~ Speechless And our PRESIDENT is ~ CLUELESS!! --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics} >From The Tea Party News: Obama's Phony Job Recovery Explained Perfectly in One Cartoon "Liberals are joyfully singing the praises of Obama's employment recovery, telling stories of how they read about increased job numbers posted every month. But there's a little problem with that line of thought. It's a lie..." Read more... http://tinyurl.com/o4xcpdj -<>- >From Christian Coalition Of America: Is it a ‘Good Deal?' Start by Reviewing the Administration’s Own Benchmarks After more than two years of talks, multiple deadline extensions, and reports of numerous concessions to Iran, President Obama could announce a nuclear deal with Iran as soon as today. If and when negotiators do strike a deal, Americans can expect the White House to frame it as the best chance to prevent Iran from getting a weapon. It’s this or war, administration officials will say. Of course that's not true. So how are Americans supposed to sift through the spin and decide for themselves whether this is truly a good deal... (READ MORE) http://tinyurl.com/q4mty69 A Very Special Day for Vietnam Veterans With hundreds of Vietnam veterans and their families in attendance at the U.S. Capitol this week, Speaker Boehner and other Congressional leaders marked the 50th anniversary since the deployment of America’s first ground combat units in Vietnam. As Speaker Boehner noted in his welcome remarks, those "who served built a reputation for commitment and courage unparalleled in our military history. They faced rejection on the home front by some – something that should never, ever happen again – and yet they stood tall and did their duty without complaint"... (READ MORE) http://tinyurl.com/pfw4frb House Majority Leader McCarthy: House-Passed CURES Brings Hope to Everyone Affected by Disease {READ MORE] http://tinyurl.com/pa84l9k -<>- >From BizarreNews: In 1982 there was Lawnchair Larry. He was a man with a dream, and that dream was to launch himself into the sky in a lawn chair tied to 45 helium-filled weather balloons. His wild plan took him right into the controlled airspace of Los Angeles International Airport where miraculously he and his contraption did not get sucked into a jet engine. In 2008 an Oregon man named Kent Couch became the first person to achieve interstate travel by balloon-powered lawn chair when he traveled 240 miles to land safely in western Idaho. This year it is 26-year-old Canadian Daniel Boria. Boria's wild idea was to promote his cleaning-products company by flying a helium balloon-powered lawnchair over the city of Calgary where he planned to parachute into a rodeo event called the Calgary Stampede, because nothing makes Canadian cowboys want to buy cleaning products more than a crazy man committing suicide in the middle of their rodeo. But Mr. Boria is probably better at selling cleaning products than he is at physics. He slightly over-estimated the lifting power he needed, and the 120 over-sized party balloons he attached to his chair took him much higher than he expected. "I was sitting in a lawn chair looking down through the clouds at 747 airplanes and looking up to a cluster of balloons," Boria told the Toronto Star. "I rose to a certain altitude and the winds got pretty intense. I was somersaulting out the chair and it felt like minus 30. I watched below as the stampede and my dream drifted away." He missed the rodeo by a bit, landing in a field just outside the city, but he did not die. He suffered a broken ankle and was arrested for 'causing mischief' and could face further charges. The chair was never found and is probably somewhere over Saskatchewan by now. There is no report on the sales of Mr. Boria's cleaning products. -<>- I'm starting to feel a little guilty printing these stories. After last week's story of a man accidentally killing himself with a firework comes another incident involving, you guessed it, an accidental death from playing with fireworks. You can almost picture it in your mind: a backyard Fourth of July party in Maine. The state only legalized fireworks there two years ago, so they are still kind of novel. There is some drinking going on and an adventurous (let's call him) young man decides to play the class clown by tying a mortar tube on top of his head. Maybe he was going to pretend to be a sparkler. But when he "pretended" to light the mortar things went very, very bad. 22-year-old Devon Staples died at the scene. "I was the first one who got there. There was no rushing him to the hospital. There was no Devon left when I got there," his brother, Cody Staples, said, adding that his brother accidentally lit the fuse by holding a lighter near his head. "It was a freak accident... But Devon was not the kind of person who would do something stupid. He was the kind of person who would pretend to do something stupid to make people laugh." Devon became the first person killed by fireworks in Maine since the state legalized them. "He loved making people happy," his brother said. "Anyone who would want to give a tribute to Devon should go out and do something nice for someone. Show some love to someone you don't know." Just don't do it by lighting fireworks on top of your head. *-- 'Puppies' adopted by Chinese man turn out to be Asian black bears --* KUNMING, China (UPI) - A Chinese man turned his pets over an animal rescue group after the two "puppies" he adopted two years ago grew up to be Asian black bears. Wang Kayui of Yunnan Province said he adopted the two "puppies" from Vietnam about two years ago and when the animals began to grow he discovered they were actually bears. Wang said the animals were very well behaved and he kept them at his home until he recently saw a leaflet about endangered animals from the local Public Security Bureau and discovered his pets were Asian black bears, a Category 2 protected species. The bears were taken June 30 to the Yunnan Wild Animal Rescue Center, where officials confirmed they were male and female Asian black bears, also known as moon bears. A spokesman for the center said both animals were in good health. *-- Broadway audience member tries to charge phone on stage --* NEW YORK (UPI) - An audience member apparently caught up in the illusion of live theater at a Broadway show stunned onlookers by trying to charge his phone on stage. Cast members and theatergoers at the July 2 showing of adult puppet play Hand to God said the man climbed on stage before the start of the show and attempted to charge his phone in an electrical outlet. Witnesses said the man's attempt failed, as the outlet was a non-functioning part of the show's set, and workers quickly arrived to unplug the phone and make an announcement about not using the set for charging. "Well, where can I charge it?" the man was quoted as saying by the blog Broadway Adjacent. Cast members Sarah Stiles and Marc Kudisch talked about the incident on Twitter. "A guy jumped on the stage and plugged his phone into the fake outlet on our set just before we started. @HandtoGodBway #fullmoon or #idiot?" Stiles tweeted. "Dear general audience, an electrical socket that's a part of the set of the play is NOT for you to charge your iPhone... just an FYI," Kudisch wrote. Witnesses said the man was not kicked out of the play and was seen drinking at the bar during intermission. Some suggested the incident may have been a dare from someone attending the play with the man. *-- Shark drops from the sky into Virginia woman's yard --* VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (UPI) - The real-life version of Sharknado proved to be far less threatening than its Syfy counterpart when a small shark fell from the sky into a Virginia back yard. Sue Bowser of Virginia Beach said her grandchildren found the 13-inch dogfish shark, also known as a sand shark, dead near a pond in her back yard about two weeks ago. "This could be the shark house, but hopefully not too many more will be falling from the sky," Bowser told WAVY-TV. "The kids found it, and they came upstairs and they were all excited and said, 'We found a shark in the backyard.'" Bowser said she suspects the baby shark was the victim of an osprey that lost its lunch. "There's a little mark on his side where the talons probably went in, and it's a little bloody on the side where the talons had poked him," she said. Susan Barco, research coordinator and senior scientist with the Virginia Aquarium and Marine Science Center Foundation, said it would not be unusual for an osprey to grab a dogfish shark pup from the shallow waters where they are born. Bowser said she is keeping the shark frozen as an object of curiosity. "I would like to preserve the shark because a lot of people have asked about it and I think it's just so unique," she said. *-- Skeleton 'driving' Jeep turns heads in Kentucky --* LOUISVILLE, Ky. (UPI) - A Jeep seen driving around the Louisville area is turning heads for an unusual reason -- it looks like a skeleton is driving. Mr. Bonz, a prop skeleton belonging to mechanic Andrew Johnson, has become a regular sight "driving" Johnson's Jeep around Louisville and the surrounding area. Johnson said the driving skeleton was born out of his affection for the Jeep, which has its steering wheel and pedals on the right side -- which is usually the passenger side for cars in the United States. Johnson installed a fake steering wheel in front of the left front seat and hired Mr. Bonz as his fake driver. "I get everything from screams, to 'man that's fantastic,'" Johnson told WDRB-TV. "It's just all in fun. It's just to make people smile. If I've scared anybody, I apologize." Johnson said Mr. Bonz was originally a temporary feature of the Jeep two Halloweens ago, but locals demanded his return. "People would stop me in Walmart, Kroger, Kmart, wherever and say, 'where's your skeleton?'" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Karen :) >Funnies ,~. ,-'__ `-, {,-' `. } ,') ,( a ) `-.__ ,',')~, <=.) ( `-.__,==' ' ' '} ( ) / `-'\ , ) | \ `~. / \ `._ \ / \ `._____,' / `-. ,' `-. ,-' `~~~~' //_|| __//--'/` hjw ,--'/` ' ' Published August 13, 2014 Associated Press PORTLAND, Ore. – Portland, Oregon, police were told there was a chicken -- and it was attempting to cross the road. In fact, the citizen who called the police non-emergency line on Monday evening reported that the chicken's efforts to cross a road in a north Portland neighborhood were bringing traffic nearly to a standstill. He assured the dispatcher he was not joking. The dispatcher chuckled -- and asked a clarifying question. "It's just the one chicken?" The caller said yes. Sgt. Pete Simpson says responding officers were unable to locate the chicken. And so, he notes, police "were unable to determine the chicken's intent." -<>- _____________ ,--. _____________________ mmm-. \ _________________________ ((\ )____________________________ )6(\ )__________________________ \ _`) )____________________________ _ =o= ) ))__________________________ ( (__/) ) )______________________ _/ ( ( \ \ ______________________ _(=.|\ |)=.|____________________ ___\ \ ) / |______________________ ____| / / |____________________ _____|_,/ (`;-. |\ ___________________ _______ / |\ `' \______ _,/)_____ _______ / ' ` \ ____/_/)/_________ _______ / \ _______/ \ ________________ ______ / \ ______/ \ ______________ __ / `. . \ ____; \ \ )____________ / ` \ \ ) ___; ' ` \ )________________ / : ; ,-. ,' ___;__,-. ; . . /"""`-='_______________ gpyy /_,`-=-.___,.__,-=-''"""'` _____________________________________________ Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: "I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her home was turned into a beautiful castle. And money was growing on trees. Cinderella was stunned. Bob, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother." The Fairy Godmother replied "It is the least I can do. What does your heart want for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: "I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again". At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. A long-forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her. Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke "You have one more wish, what shall you have?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man." Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when complete he stood before her, a man so beautiful the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen. The Fairy Godmother again spoke, "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each others eyes. Cinderella was breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered: "Bet you're sorry you neutered me now! -<>- .$$$$$. . |/())))) $)'\$==. %%%%%%\%%\ / ((((==) ') - $$$'===%%%%\'.| |((((( <( \-_/$$ )" _)%% )/| | ())))_/._\._) //_.\_ %% ( / | \_) /.--._\___/__.-.\ (.' / \_ ( __._'_..'.__. ) .' \ ) (_.(_)/( / \\ / \ / \ // ) \ ) \ / ( SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive. --- ...HaHa! Thanks Karen! ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _------_ -~ ~- - _ - - |> - - |< - - |> - - || - - || - -__||__- |______| <______> <______> \/ unknown Light bulb jokes are an innocent way to poke fun -- or so I thought. Working as a sound technician, I asked an electrician, who was also the local union steward: "Hey, Mike. How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?" I expected the classic answer: "Twelve. You got a problem with that?" But Mike replied in all seriousness, "None. Teamsters shouldn't be touching light bulbs." -<>- A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a con- ciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right." He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first. "I'm wrong," she said. With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!" -<>- A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgment Day and, of course, he used Biblical phraseology whenever he could. "Oh, my friends," he intoned, "imagine the suffering of the sinners as they find themselves cast into the outer darkness, removed from the presence of the Lord and given to eternal flames. My friends, at such a time there will be weeping, wailing and a great gnashing of teeth!" At this point, one of the elders of the congregation interrupted to say, "But Reverend, what if one of those hopeless sinners has no teeth?" The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, "My friends, the Lord is not put out by details. Rest assured... teeth will be provided!" -<>- I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'Seven Young Blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc." -<>- I had noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother. "Things haven't changed that much," she said. "The only difference is, before he didn't listen to me. Now, he can't." -<>- ,/`. ,'/ __`. ,'_/_ _ _`. ,'__/_ ___ _ `. ,'_ /___ __ _ __ `. '-.._/___...-"-.-..__`. O!o Did you read that scientists have recently decoded the first low-frequency radio waves from an alien civilization ever to reach Earth...! It said: Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star System at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your Star System at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other Star Systems. Within one-tenth of a Galactic Rotation you will receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy reaches maximum! IT REALLY WORKS! -<>- "When I married Donna, I could get both hands around her waist," said my husband's grandfather. Pointing at his full-figured wife, he boasted, "Now look how much I got. That's what I call an investment!" -<>- My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really...She was attacked by a giant crab. -<>- I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day. -<>- While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help. "The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'" "Monogamy," he answered. -<>- _...._ .'.o' o.'. /o o .o' o'\ |'.o 'o. o'.o| |o. o' o 'o .| \ o .o.'o'./ '._o__o_.' \ / || || || || || jgs || \/ Teeing off on the 12th hole at a golf resort, we stopped to buy cold drinks from the young woman driving the beverage cart. As my buddy reached for his wallet, he said to her, "You're in great shape. You must work out a lot." Flattered, she gave him a big smile and gushed, "Oh, thank you so much!" The next day a different young woman was driving the cart. "Watch this," I whispered. I walked up to her and said, "Wow, you must work out a lot." "Yeah," she replied flatly. "You should try it." ========================================================= >-->From Laugh And Lift: */The Lift/* 1+1=2 /\ \ c") ;-/\> || kOs * Mathematics & the Savior * (From the book "I Have a Friend Who's Jewish, Do You?") [Edited] What are the odds that Christ was a fraud? Ever wondered about that? Or maybe you think he WAS a fraud? Well, either way, just read on. There have been done some scientific studies on that. "Science has developed a method of studying odds. It is called the science of compound probabilities, a mathematical study of situations and the odds of possible outcomes. One of the most amazing studies conducted using this method, was recorded by Professor Peter Stoner in "Science Speaks." The purpose of the study was to determine the odds of one man in history fulfilling all the prophecies recorded in the Scripture that point to the Jewish Messiah. There are over 300 Messianic prophecies in the Scriptures. Stoner chose just those that are clearly defined and specific for his study. To begin, eight prophecies were chosen that were totally beyond the human control of Jesus: 1) His place of birth (Micah 5:2) 2) Time of birth (Daniel 9:25) 3) Manner of birth (Isaiah 7:14) 4) Betrayal (Zechariah 11:12, 13) 5) Manner of death (Psalm 22:16-18)Notice the detail even down to the gambling for His robe. 6) Piercing of hands, feet, and side (Zechariah 12:10) 7) People mocking (Psalm 22:7,8) 8) Burial (Isaiah 53:9) The compound probability of just these eight prophecies being fulfilled is 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000 (1 in 10 to the 17th power). To understand this number, take that many silver dollars and lay them on the face of Texas. They would cover the entire state two feet deep. Next, mark a single silver dollar, fly over Texas, and drop it anywhere. Then blindfold someone and let him parachute in anywhere he wants. He should take his time; he only gets one pick and the coin he picks must be the one you marked. What chance would he have of getting the right one? Just the same chance that the prophets had of writing these eight prophecies and having them all come true in any one man. Jesus fulfilled them all! In practical terms, would anyone fail to invest in a financial venture if the chance of failure was one in 10 to the 17th power? This is how secure an investment it is to believe that Jesus Christ is the Messiah. (Only the rewards are truly out of this world! - we got a BIG God!) . + . . . . . . . . . * . * . . . . . . + . "You Are Here" . . + . . . . | . . . . . . | . . . +. + . \|/ . . . . . . V . * . . . . + . + . . . + . . + .+. . . . . + . . . . . . . . . . . . . ! / * . . . + . . - O - . . . + . . * . . / | . + . . . .. + . . . . . * . * . +.. . * . . . . . . . . + . . + unknown Now let's raise the odds using 48 prophecies. We find the chances of one man fulfilling just 48 of these Messianic prophecies to be 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (1 in 10 to the 157th power). Jesus fulfilled over 300 prophecies! It would take more faith to deceive yourself that Jesus Christ is NOT the Messiah, than to accept the FACT that He is!" Just think about this for a moment: "Refusing to choose is a form of choice. Disbelief is a form of belief. In choosing, we must not only use the intelligence God gave us, but also our hearts." -<>- */The Laugh/* * Quick Jokes * At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?" I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'" Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right." -------- My boyfriend, Tim, a mechanic, does work for the Air Force Academy. One day, a guard asked, "Mind if our new guard dog practices sniffing your truck? Tim obliged and the dog went to work. Almost immediately, it latched onto a scent and jumped into the truck bed sniffing furiously. Tim became nervous. There were no drugs or weapons. What could the dog be after? A few minutes later, the guard approached Tim. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, "our dog ate your lunch." -------- As my 50th birthday approached, I decided I'd do something adventurous, like sky diving. I was parking at the library and noticed a bumper sticker on the car next to mine. It read, "I'd rather be sky diving." I started to leave a note on the windshield, asking the owner to call me. However, I then noticed, hanging from the rearview mirror, a temporary permit for handicapped parking. I then thought, "Maybe I'll try white-water rafting." -------- On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond "a blue four-door." After a pause, the driver replied, "It's the one on fire." _SUBSCRIBE INFO_ Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com =================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Ford's First RV!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firstrv.html Chevy Selling It!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevysi.html Vokner Mobil RV!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv.html Amazing Air Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aircars.html Detroit Autorama!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/detroitauto.html Thinkers And Their Desks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html Identity Theft 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft2.html Hiking In China!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trail.html New Office Policy!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/office.html One Of Those Days!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/days.html Life's Little Oops 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops3.html Humor In Politics 5!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics5.html Look Who's Talking 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking2.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) The Phillips Brothers all Steam Powered Box Factory, founded in 1897, is family owned and operated and listed in the National Register of Historic places. This mill is believed to be the last fully operational all steam powered mill in America. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mKSKZau9qs Best of the 50's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDc0ID6PJeg&feature=youtu.be Grandma likes to dance! Watch to the end to hear her hilarious comments. When she's approaching the car, turn it up so you can hear what she says. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=PP9b_91PHi8 --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us ones we have here... Wall Mural Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart.html A very interesting bit of obscure history. Arrows Across America http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/arrows.html --- ...These amazed me! Thanks Geniann! Tool Station Ad https://www.youtube.com/embed/uk2a-MJyM1g --- ...LMAO! Good one! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Enjoy the musical comedy magic of Korean magician Do Ki Moon performing at the French television show The World's Greatest Cabaret. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1yVP53-QoL4 The Russian woman's team at the Synchronized Skating World Championships with a dazzling performance to 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt4x0GZjfcU&feature=player_embedded 10 MINUTES OF FUNNY DOGS. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk9iJougDFE&feature=em-subs_digest-vrecs --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The royal baby is set to inherit $1 billion. In fact, he's so rich that he's already dating a girl half his age." -Conan O'Brien "A tourist came up to me today and she says, 'I watch your show on and off.' And I said, 'How do you like it?' And she said, 'Off.'" -Dave Letterman "Taco Bell announced that it will discontinue its line of kids' meals because of low sales. You know your food's bad when even little kids say, 'I'm not putting that in my mouth.'" -Jimmy Fallon "We're celebrating our independence from the British. I hope that in a couple years, we'll be able to celebrate our independence from the Chinese." -David Letterman "Six half-marathon runners were hospitalized yesterday for running in 100 degree heat. They were rushed to a mental hospital." -Jimmy Kimmel "According to a Twitter study, people are happiest on the weekends and when their workday is over. They also discovered that if you stand in front of a moving train, it will kill you." -Jay Leno "Scientists have discovered that men are genetically programed to look at other women. So sorry, ladies, it's science. I've got to do what I've got to do." -Conan O'Brien "A new survey found that half of all American employees have faked a sick day. While the other half have just lied on a survey." -Jimmy Fallon "You folks know anything about climate change? I used to know a little bit about it but I don't care anymore. There's nothing we can do about it. But on the bright side, I've got a closet full of short-sleeved shirts I don't otherwise get to wear." -David Letterman >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************