Maybe You Can... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->In the 'Shangy' News :) I found out recently that I failed to give credit to our friend Linda for this page that I also got in from our friend PatDeE. I have the credit line for it corrected now. You may have to refresh your browser to see it. Germany's Waldgeist Restaurant! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/germanyr.html --- ...So sorry to have missed it Linda! Thank you both PatDeE and Linda! -<>- >HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This red hot one comes from our friends PatDeE and Jo Ann. Give this time to load and check it out... Political Humor 7 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics7.html --- ...We need the laughs to deal with the pain! Thanks PatDeE and Jo Ann! In reference to the video here of Obama's Aunt where she feels we are obligated to give her free stuff because we are a Christian Nation, This is what the Bible says: Eph.4: [28] Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Giving is important but no one is under any obligation to do so. That is why the bible says 'may have to give', it does not say that he must give. 2 Thes.3: [10] For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. Those that can and are able to do work are expected to or the bible says they shouldn't eat. ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: The Two Gas Men (IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) )'.'.'.':;:;:'.'.'.'( Two gas company servicemen, a senior ('.'.'.;' | `:.'.'.') training supervisor and a young trainee, )'.'.';' | `:'.'.'( were out checking meters in a suburban ('.'.;' | `:.'.') neighborhood. They parked their truck )'.';'____|____`:'.'( at the end of the alley and worked (==@' | `@==) their way to the other end. )'.: @() :.'( ('.'. ()@() .'.') At the last house a woman looking out )'.'. ()@()@) .'.'( her kitchen window watched the two men ('.'. _\|/_ .'.') as they checked her gas meter. )'.'. |-----| .'.'( ('.'.___\___/___.'.') Finishing the meter check, the jgs )'.'============='.'( senior supervisor challenged his ('.' '.') younger coworker to a foot race ~ ~ down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. _ _|=|__________ As they came running up to the / \ truck, they realized the lady from / \ that last house was huffing and /__________________\ puffing right behind them. They || || /--\ || || stopped and asked her what was ||[]|| | .| ||[]|| wrong. ()||__||_|__|_||__||() ( )|-|-|-|====|-|-|-|( ) Gasping for breath, she replied, jgs^^^^^^^^^^====^^^^^^^^^^^ "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" _ _ (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) Soon After The Invention of the Thermos... One day Bill is sitting in his house when the doorbell unexpectedly rings. He answers the door and finds a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object. "What is that?" Bill asks. "It's a thermos," the salesman replies. "What does it do?" asks Bill. "This baby," the salesman says, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." After some deliberation Bill buys one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrives at work with his Thermos. Sure enough, all his coworkers are curious about his new object. "What is it?" they ask. "It's a thermos," Bill replies. "What does it do?" they ask. "Well," Bill says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." "So, what do ya got in it?" To which Bill says, "Three cups of coffee and a lemon Popsicle." ============================================================ *-- Even More Bizarre April Holidays --* April 21 is Kindergarten Day April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day April 23 is Read Me Day and World Laboratory Animal Day April 24 is National Pigs In A Blanket Day April 25 is National Zucchini Bread Day April 26 is Richter Scale Day and National Pretzel Day April 27 is Tell A Story Day April 28 is Great Poetry Reading Day and Kiss-Your-Mate Day April 29 is National Shrimp Scampi Day April 30 is National Honesty Day ======================================================= >-->From The Masti :) ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw >THE OLDER CROWD A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence Before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, Just how serious is my condition Because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.' *********************** An older gentleman was On the operating table Awaiting surgery And he insisted that his son, A renowned surgeon, Perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, He asked to speak to his son 'Yes, Dad, what is it? ' 'Don't be nervous, son; Do your best And just remember, If it doesn't go well, If something happens to me, Your mother Is going to come and Live with you and your wife....' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aging: Eventually you will reach a point When you stop lying about your age And start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old." --------------------------------- The older we get, The fewer things Seem worth waiting in line for. --------------------------------- Some people Try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way And some of the roads weren't paved. ******************** When you are dissatisfied And would like to go back to youth, Think of Algebra. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You know you are getting old when Everything either dries up or leaks. ------------------------------- One of the many things No one tells you about aging Is that it is such a nice change From being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, But being old is comfortable. First you forget names, Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when You forget to pull it down. --------------------------------- Long ago When men cursed And beat the ground with sticks, It was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two guys one old one young Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart When they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, And I guess I wasn't paying attention To where I was going. The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too...' I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate' The old guy says, 'Well, Maybe I can help you find her.. What does she look like?' ' The young guy says, 'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, With red hair, Blue eyes, is buxom, Long legs, And is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?' To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours.' ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend KarenF :) >Where to eat? / .- __ |/,-'` `-.\ _.-'''-._ \\ .--. _.;.--._.--.;._ _\\/_`~\\ _ .-. .` /( / \ )\ `|. \\ |--' | \ | | ; '-' '-' ; |~~~~~| _\ \| |__ | (_) | | '__|_ (_` _)| . . | |. (__ \ `', |` | `-.___.-' | | (__ | | | ; | : | ; | '(___ | | | \ | : | / | . | | | \____'._| : |_.'___;====| | \ | : | / jgs '------. '._.' .---------'` | | | . ~ . | | | | | |____.____| /===========\ ;:. | .::. ; |:' |_'::' | | .:. | | |__':'_|___.::| [______I______] | | | (_ | _) | | | _|___|___|_ .-//\\--|||--//\\-. (_||__\\//|\\//__||_) `"""""""""`"""""""""` A group of 15 year old boys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at the McDonald's next to Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they only had six dollars among them, they could ride their bikes there and Jennie Webster, that cute girl in Social Studies, lives on the same street and they might see her. Ten years later, the group of now 25 year old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the beer was cheap, the bar had free snacks, the house band was good, there was no cover charge and there were lot of cute girls. Ten years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was decided they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the booze was good, it was near their gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids. __ / .- /.-' |/,-'` .--. // _.-'''-._ //~`_\//_ _.;.--._.--.;._ '--| // .|` /( O / \ O )\ ` |~~~~~| ; '-' '-' ; _|__' | | (_) | / __) '| | . . | | __) | | `-.___.-' | .-. _ | ___)' | ; \.-./ ; | | / | |~~| .| \ `-` / __| |/ /_ | |====;___'._ _.'__ (_ _) \ /\"""""/\ `\ `| .'` '----------.`-`\^/`-`. \ |~~| | /~\ |`\ \ | | | |\| | \ `y | jgs | |\| | \ / | |\| | '.__.' |___|\|___| |===\_/===| | | | L | | | | | | | < < | | | | |____|____| .---' / \ / /| | '.______.' | | \__/ Ten years later, at 45, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the martinis were big and the waitresses wore tight pants. Ten years later, now 55, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the prices were reasonable, they have a nice wine list and fish is good for your cholesterol. _|/ ." ". __ /(o)-(o)\ /_)|| / | |_)|| '- | \_)|| '.___.' / |\/|_ | / \ \_/ / _| '/ |--\ '.___.' \ ) / \ \_/\__/\__ |==| \ \ /\ /\ `\ | | \ \\// \| | `\ /\ | / | jgs ; || |\____/ | || | Ten years later, at 65 years of age, the once again group discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the lighting was good and they have an early bird special. Ten years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped accessible. Ten years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille --- ...LOL! Thanks KarenF! -<>- _____ /`.---.`\ / /.---.\ \ ; |/ e e \| ; ; \| ^ |/ | | \_=_/ | |.-"` `"-.| / `'-...-'` \ | | | , | \ './|\.' / ;._(/:\)_.; || : : || || ; : || || : : || || '.' || || + || || || || || |'-.___.-'| | | '-.__ __.-' jgs (_/`\_) >Two clever nuns -- There were two nuns One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to make love to us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. A little while later... SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened.. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM : Oh, dear! What did you do? SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? .-=-. /.-=-.\ ||_____|| ||. .|| || || / |\_-_/| \ / |=====| \ | |\_._/| | jgs `--.| T |.--' SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down. And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, Say two Hail Marys! and... of course - forward this mail! --- ...LOL! a good one! Thanks KarenF! -<>- >This is so true! .-"-. .-"-. @@/ \ / \@@ Y '-<<<-' '->>>-' Y ''' jgs ``` Ticks are out early this year as are fleas! Please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list. If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday.. I feel so stupid. --- ...LMAO! Thanks KarenF! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) .---------. _ |:: [-=-] | | | |_________| |~| |_| ,;;;;, I\ ,__ ,;;;, __, ///\\\\\ I |{ / . . \ } / " \\|| I | ) ( _ ) ( \_= _/// I |{___'-. .-'___}\___ )_\ I ||~/,'~~~~~,\~~|'---(( \ I \ // \\ | \ \ \ I \/ // | | /-/ I (/ (/ | |/||\ I | | | | I | | |____/ I :-----_o_-----: || | I | /~~|===|~~\ | (( | jgs I || |===| || ||_/ /^\ "~ '^^^' "" ((__| Just after Pete was admitted to the hospital, he heard a knock at the door of his room. "Come in," Pete said, and in came a woman. "I'm your doctor," she said. "Please take off your clothes." Pete asked her if she meant for him to remove all of his clothing and she told him that was just what she did mean. So he took off all his clothes and she examined him: nose, throat, chest, stomach, thighs, feet. When she examined him she announced: "You may get into bed. Do you have any questions?" "Just one," said Pete. "Why did you knock?" -<>- () () ||____...---~~~---...___|| || %%%%% || Gasp! %%%()% ___ ._._ || / %%%%\\-. |\ /_0_\\ ||...)))))___.........%%%%%()\\~~\~~~ \ |\ //- >-\_ \ //\ \ \// |""""""""| | \ \ _O_// / \\ \ \_/ ,.| JRO| \ \ / / \\/ \/ \ \ \/ /\' ' \ '(__\____/\ \_ \ \ \ \ \ _..-------\'--~ \ \_\.\.-~~-..--~~~~ \ One night my husband took his mother and me to a movie. We were enjoying the film until a very explicit bedroom love scene flashed on the screen. Embarrassed, I wondered what my mother-in-law must be thinking. Just then I felt her hand touch mine. With her eyes still glued to the screen, my mother-in-law said, "Lovely sheets. I wonder where she got them." -<>- ,_ | `""---..._____ '-...______ _````"""""""'`| \ ```` ``"---...__ | |` | ``! | | A | /\ /#\ /`--..______..-' | ### | / `\ /`--. | ### _| | .-;`-./;-. || ### / \ \ /\#| |#/\/ /\ ##' | `-' \__/ _ \__/ | |`# \_, /_/ `\ / '. '.__.' .' jgs `-,____,-' /"""I""\ /`---'--'\ Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?" --- ...HaHa! Good Ones! Thanks Brenda! -<>- >-->In The Worldly News: [politics] >From Conservative Contacts Obama Lawyer Admits Forgery http://tinyurl.com/6nl8v3u -<>- >From Patriot News: Obama Unleashes Executive Powers http://patriotupdate.com/21840/obama-unleashes-executive-powers More news http://tinyurl.com/6sqh3jn 10 Reasons to Impeach Eric Holder http://tinyurl.com/6m5ntx5 -<>- >From Our Friend EdLaF and ConservativeByte: Revealed By WikiLeaks: Obama Team Stole Election, Bribed Jesse Jackson And Took Russian Money In 2008 http://tinyurl.com/6vxrkcq --- ...Interesting! Thanks EdLaF! More News http://tinyurl.com/7ndvq2k -<>- >From Our Friend Bunni and TeaPartEconomist :) Virus Alert: You May Lose Your Computer on July 10 http://tinyurl.com/72ywmyp More News: http://tinyurl.com/7vqlo85 --- ...Great info! Thanks Bunni! -<>- >From BizarreNews: What do you do with a few tons of frozen beef that nobody wants? Well, if you are a grocery store with unsold beef, certainly there are avenues to get rid of it. Pet food, perhaps, or maybe you could sell it to that company that makes pink slime. But what if all that frozen beef is still in cow form? That is exactly the problem facing the U.S. Forest Service when two federal employees discovered a group of cows that had wandered into an old ranger cabin high in the Rocky Mountains, then died and froze solid when they couldn't get out. You may get flash-backs of a classic Bizarre News story when you hear the solution. They can't leave the carcasses to rot because of possible water contamination. Since it would be too expensive to use helicopters to fly the carcasses out, and it is a federally protected wilderness area where using trucks is impossible, the remaining solutions are to burn the cabin down or...to blow it the hell up. If you are thinking of the famous exploding whale carcass incident you are probably not alone. Bureaucracies tend to think alike. I personally would recommend burning the cabin down, just because I love a good barbecue, one the other hand seeing a dozen frozen cows blown sky high would make a good show. *-- Truck driver delivers third roadside baby --* DALLAS - A truck driver whose mother was a midwife said a baby he helped deliver on the side of a Texas interstate was his third on-the-job delivery. Michael Hawthorne, a driver for Vineland, N.J., company NFI Industries, said he pulled over to check his load on a secluded stretch of road about 75 miles northwest of Dallas March 27 when Jack Smith ran over to him from a parked car and told him his wife, Tammy, was in labor and his cellphone had no service in the area, ABCNews.com reported Wednesday. "I went ahead, got my bottle of water, gloves and birth kit and took it to the car," he said. Hawthorne, whose mother and grand- mother were midwives, said he started carrying a "birth kit" in his truck after helping two other couples deliver roadside babies during the past 13 years. The truck driver said the healthy baby boy was born just as emergency responders arrived. "The state police showed up. Meanwhile I am trying to keep the mother calmed. The mother gave birth. I cleaned it up what I could, wrapped the baby in a towel," he said. Sidney Brown, chief executive officer of NFI, said the company is nominating Hawthorne for a third Highway Angel Award, an award given by the Truckload Carriers Association to truck drivers who display heroism on the road. "Mike is an extraordinary individual and we're proud to have him as part of the NFI family," Brown said. *-- Spy robot can jump 30 feet straight up --* WALTHAM, Mass. - The U.S. Army has tested a reconnaissance robot that can jump 30 feet into the air, high enough to vault into a second story window, its maker says. Developed by Massachusetts firm Boston Dynamics, with U.S. Army fund- ing, the tiny robot -- looking something like a radio- controlled model car minus its body -- can stop, stand up and launch itself with a CO2-powered piston, The Christian Science Monitor reported. Dubbed the Sand Flea, the robot can jump 25 times on a single charging with CO2, its developers said. The Sand Flea is an updated version of the Precision Urban Hopper, which was developed by Sandia National Laboratories. Unlike it predecessor, the Sand Flea has a gyroscopic stabilization system to keep it oriented as it jumps, making for steadier video in mid-flight. After evaluation by the Army Test and Evaluation Command, the Army could ship nine of the robots to Afghanistan to join about 2,000 others already being used by U.S. forces, CNET reported. *-- Only good driver 'on the planet' ruins car --* NEW YORK - A car that hit a guardrail on a New York road was photographed with a bumper sticker proclaiming the motorist is the only good driver "on the planet." The car, which was smashed on its front end and flipped over after colliding with the guardrail in a northbound lane of the FDR Drive at 9 a.m. Sunday, was photographed bearing a bumper sticker reading, "Why am I the only one on the planet who knows how to drive?" the New York Post reported Monday. Police said the male driver, who was alone in the car, was taken to Weill Cornell Medical Center with non- life-threatening injuries. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ___ ,--[___]--, / \ |,.--'```'--.,| , |'-.,_____,.-'| || |'-.,_____,.-'| || | | _||_ | P A I N T | ///\\\ | | HHHHHH |'-.,_____,.-'| |||||| jgs `'-.,_____,.-'' |||||| While in the checkout line at my local hardware store I overheard one man say to another, "My wife has been after me to paint our shed. But I let it go for so long she got mad and did it herself." His friend nodded. "I like women who get mad like that." -<>- After years of using the same perfumes, I decided to try something different and settled on a light, citrusy fragrance. The next day I was surprised when it was my little boy, not my husband, who first noticed the change. As he put his arms around me, he declared, "Wow, Mom, you smell just like Froot Loops!" -<>- . '@(@@@@@@@)@. (@@) ` . ' . @@'((@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@)@@@@@@@)@ @@(@@@@@@@@@@))@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@` . @.((@@@@@@@)(@@@@@@@@@@@@@@))@\@@@@@@@@@)@@@ . (@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@\\@@)@@@@@@@@) (@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@@@(@@@@@@@@//@@@@@@@@@) ` .@(@@@@)##&&&&&(@@@@@@@@)::_=(@\\@@@@)@@ . .' @@`(@@)###&&&&&!!;;;;;;::-_=@@\\@)@`@. ` @@(@###&&&&!!;;;;;::-=_=@.@\\@@ ' ` @.#####&&&!!;;;::=-_= .@ \\ ####&&&!!;;::=_- ` ###&&!!;;:-_= ##&&!;::_= ##&&!;:= ##&&!:- #&!;:- #&!;= #&!- #&= jgs #&- \\#/' ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead. He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our answering machine click on. "Hi," a voice said. "This is Dad. I'm locked out of the house." -<>- A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?" One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "Still in the Garden of Eden?" -<>- ,---------------------------------------------------++++------. | ,-------------------. `T$b. PL | | | _..._ | NAME(-S): Blazej `T$b. | | | .d$$$$$$$b. | SURNAME: Kozlowski `T$b.| | | d$$$$$$$$$$$b | NICKNAME: bug `T$l | | d$P^""^$^""^T$b | ADRESS: [classified] `l | | $$ $$ | | | | $;.==. .==.:$ | | | | :; ` / :| | MOBILE NUMBER: +48 608093718 | | | :| |; | HOME NUMBER: [classified] | | | : ,_l ; | WORK NUMBER: n/a | | | \ .___. / | E-MAIL(-S): da.bug@wp.pl | | | :. - .; | blazej-1981@tlen.pl | | | _.; `---' :._ | | | |gd$$$$. .$$$$bp| GG IM: 1093730 | | '^^^^^^^^=-=^^^^^^^^' ICQ IM: 147041942 | | |_ |, _ __ _ ' OTHER IM(-S): TLEN: blazej-1981 | | :_l :_ :_l_ /_ |/ | YIM: blazej_kozlowski | | "-' | |-----------------------------------+--------------+----------| | OFFICIAL ASCII-ART ARTIST LICENSE | NO: PL000001 | 18/03/03 | '-----------------------------------^--------------^----------' One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way I can't forget the date." A few hours later, I recognized the same young man waiting in my line. When his turn came, he said somewhat sheepishly, "I need to change the numbers on that plate application." -<>- In the small, family-owned store in Spokane, Washington where I work, we often get folks from out of town whose idioms are a little different from our own. One day, after parking her car across the street in an attended lot, a young woman came in. She made her purchase and then asked, "Do you give validation?" Without batting an eye, my manager replied, "You are an excellent, successful person, and I love your hair." ============================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: Andy Says... Just Think About This! Little things effect little minds. - Benjamin Disraeh =============== Life has value only when it has something valuable as its object. - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel =============== But he that dare not grasp the thorn Should never crave the rose. - Anne Bronte =============== If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it. - Marcus Aurelius =============== Resolved, never to do anything which I should be afraid to do if it were the last hour of my life. - Jonathan Edwards ================ Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters. - Nathaniel Emmons ================ Be silent always when you doubt your sense. - Alexander Pope ================ The future is made of the same stuff as the present. - Simone Weil ================ Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them. ================ Don't live in the past...you have already been there. ================ Let no one come to you without leaving better and happier. - Mother Teresa ================ My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there. - Charles F. Kettering (1876 - 1958), Inventor ================== Ninety percent of the world's woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves. - Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986), Syndicated columnist ================= It is nonsense to say there is not enough time to be fully informed. Time given to thought is the greatest time-saver of all. - Norman Cousins, author ================ The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. - Hubert Humphrey ================ It's important to be a go-getter. But it's even more important to know what it is you want to go and get. - Gary Kallback ================ If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it away from him. An investment of knowledge always pays the best interest. - Benjamin Franklin ================ Nothing is so bad that some good may not come of it. ================ Before you decide about your aim in life, check your ammunition. ================ Whether one has natural talent or not, any learning period requires the willingness to suffer uncertainty and embarrassment. - Gail Sheehy ================ There is something wrong if you are always right. ================ Most friction in life is caused by the tone of the voice. ================ The real measure of your wealth is how much you would be worth if you lost all your money. ================ Prejudice melts in the face of compassion. ================ One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in again. - Judith Viorst ================ Never let your memories be greater than your dreams. - Doug Ivester ================ To the degree we're not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us than we have over ourselves. - Peter McWilliams ================ No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself. - Conrado I. Generos -<>- + | /o\ |~| , | | , /\/ _ \/\ .-.-.-|| (_) ||-.-.-. | # # || _ || # # | jgs _| || ||| || |_ """""""""===""""""""" === >Hit Him Again, Lord! The crumbling, old church building needed re-modelling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!" -<>- >It's All In the Eye Of The Beholder An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful." The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles." -<>- ,;;;, ;;/'\;; .;;;. ( ^.^ ) ////\\\ \_-_/ ( '.' ) .--'-'--. \_-_/ / \ .-"-. / /| |\ \ / \ \ \| |/ ///| |\\ \ |_____| / \\| |// (| |) \|___|/ | T | | | | | | | T | | | | | | | | | | | | | jgs _[__|__]_ _[_|_]_ (____|____) (___|___) >Comparatively Speaking There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their evil ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and appeared to be perfect Christians. Then, their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could the new pastor see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church membership grew in numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly. All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building. "I have only one condition," he said. "At the funeral, you must say my brother was a saint." The pastor gave his word, and deposited the check. The next day, at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back. "He was an evil man," he said. "He cheated on his wife and abused his family." After going on like this, he finally concluded, "but, compared to his brother, he was a saint." -<>- /:""| .@@@@@, |:`66|_ @@@@@@@@, C` _) aa`@@@@@@ \ ._| (_ ?@@@@ ) / =' @@@@" /`\\ \(``` || |Y| //`\ || |.| / | || || |.| \ | || || |.| \| || :| |=: |_|\ ||_|,| |_| \ \)))|| ((( | | || |____| | || |____| > )) | || | || | || | || | || |_||__ /~)) jgs (____)) /_/YY >No Loopholes this Time For Sure A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife. She rushed in and said, "What is it, honey?" He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort. He snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting right and left. The wife was curious, so she asked, "What are you doing, honey?" He shouted "I'm looking for loopholes!" -<>- _ _ / ) ( | ____|__ ./ \. ./) (\. (_______________) (((((((((( )))) )))) ^ ^ (((( (((( )))) )))) c b(((( ((((\ ___, /))))) ))))\_`-' _/((((( jgs (((((( `--' )))))) )))))) (((((( >Maybe You Can, Right? My mom Molly, a difficult independent 75 year old, likes sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in our rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on my mom's parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere... when there are a lot of people starving in Africa, says the stranger. Then my mother said in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Well, I can't throw that far!" She handed him the bun and further stated "Maybe you can." -<>- &&&&& &&& .( .-&& _/ / \^/\ / /| _|_|| \ \| |( | `\\~~~\|| ,##\7 \\ |#____\ |#| / / jgs |#|/_/ |#|\ \ (#_\`' >Who's He Talking About? The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa." -<>- .-. .-. .-. (/^\) .-. (/^\) / \ (\ /) //^\\ )\ /( \/"\/ .-'-. (_\ /_) (.-'-.) '\_/' /(_,_)\ .-'-. /\_ _/\ .-' '-. \\) (// /\_ _/\ \\)_(// |\_ _/| / \ \\) (// /---\ \\)_(// | | / \ | | / \ |___| | | |_|_| | | | /|\ |___| | | | | | | \|/ \|/ |_|_| |_|_| jgs /Y\ /Y\ /Y\ /_T_\ >How To Tell When You've Become A Mom ** You automatically double-knot everything you tie. ** You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes. ** You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school! ** You can never go to the bathroom alone without someone screaming outside the door. ** You start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce. ** You get so into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells. ** You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on top of your head?" ** You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak! ================================================================ >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Bible:In The Beginning http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/inthebeginning.html At The Car Wash http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carwash.html Eagle Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eaglerescue.html Just Thinking http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thinking.html Garage Door Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/garageart.html Akiane Child Prodigy http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html Animal Moms http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalmoms.html Disney Tree Of Life http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneytree.html Slow Loris http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sloris.html Windows Through Time http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/windowstime.html -<>- >From Our Friend Brenda :) Senior moments http://www.youtube.com/embed/9nndS22Qda0?rel=0 --- ...HaHa! Thanks Brenda :) Doritos http://tinyurl.com/7rwkw6u --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Brenda! What Goes Around http://www.ginnysgiftoflove.com/hwhatgoes.html --- ...HaHA! Thanks Brenda! -<>- >From Our Friend Sharon :) PAL-V Car... If you didn't like the jet pack, then you might like this tiny copter. Hey. It's all about choices! This could be fun. http://www.wimp.com/meetcar/ --- ...Wow! Unique! Thanks Sharon! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) ripped : free image to PDF converter http://goo.gl/RJT7t Thumb It app http://thumb.it/ Crafts http://www.craftsy.com/ Truth or Consequences http://goo.gl/WfBfR --- ...yep, we all knew Bush had a hard past! Thanks Wesley! ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Betty White has a new show on NBC called 'Off Their Rockers' where senior citizens prank young people. It's kind of like what we're doing to them with Social Security." -Jay Leno "This week in Ireland an elephant escaped from a circus and ended up at a mall. Fortunately, the elephant didn't hurt anyone - but he did sit in one of those Brookstone massage chairs with no intention of buying it." -Jimmy Fallon "iTunes announced a controversial app has been pulled after people said it was designed for stalkers. The developers say they will resubmit their app under its original name: Facebook." -Conan O'Brien "Researchers at the University College of London report that indoor heating makes us fat. They say cold air helps us stay thin. Unless, of course, that blast of cold air you're getting is from constantly opening the refrigerator door." -Jay Leno "A woman recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy while she was onboard a Delta flight - marking the first time someone flying Delta actually arrived early." -Jimmy Fallon "On Saturday the Empire State Building went dark for an hour to draw attention to climate change. Of course, 10 endangered eagles then crashed into the building." -Jimmy Fallon "China has overtaken the United States as the world's biggest food and grocery market. That means they buy and consume more food than we do. Which, when you think about it, of course they do. A half hour after they eat, they're hungry again. It's Chinese food." -Jimmy Kimmel "Last night Melissa Gilbert suffered a concussion on 'Dancing With the Stars.' It's the first time anyone connected with that show has actually seen stars." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************