Memories & More ... :) Shangy!
>-->WELCOME To ALL Our NEW SHANGY FUN LIST Yahoo Group Members!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
===========================
.-~-.
>-->From The Funny Bone: The Small Box Of Eggs .' '.
/ \
.-~-. : ;
The elderly minister was searching .' '.| |
his closet for his collar before / \ :
church one Sunday morning. In the : ; .-~""~-,/
back of the closet, he found a | /` `'.
small box containing 3 eggs and : | \
100 $1 bills. He called his wife \ | /
into the closet to ask her about `. .' \ .'
the box and its contents. jgs `~~~` '-.____.-'
Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their
entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the minister
asked her, "WHY?"
The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. He
asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that
every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon,
she had placed an egg in the box.
The minister felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly
nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for.
She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the
neighbors for $1."
=====================================================================
+--------------------- Bizarre History --------------------+
FACTS
Beer was the first trademarked product - British beer Bass
Pale Ale received its trademark in 1876.
Playing-cards were known in Persia and India as far back as
the 12th century. A pack then consisted of 48 instead of 52
cards.
Excavations from Egyptian tombs dating to 5,000 BC show
that the ancient Egyptian kids played with toy hedgehogs.
Accounts from Holland and Spain suggest that during the
1500s and 1600s urine was commonly used as a tooth-cleaning
agent.
In 1969 the US launched a male chimpanzee called Ham into
space.
In 1963 the French launched a cat called Feliette into
space.
The first written account of the Loch Ness Monster, or
Nessie, was made in 565AD.
+--------------------- Bizarre Space Facts ------------------+
* +
* ' |
() .-.,-"``"-. - o -
'=/_ \ |
* |::'=._ ; ' SPACE FACTS
' \::. `=./`, '
+ . '-::..-'``' *
jgs O * . + .
* . +
If the Sun stopped producing energy today, we wouldn't
know about it for ten million years.
On a clear night in the autumn you can see two million
years back in time.
The first living creature to orbit the Earth was a dog
called Laika.
People in space are up to 5 centimeters taller than they
are on Earth. Without the effect of gravity pressing them
down, their vertebrae (sections of their spine) move a
little further apart.
The footprints that Neil Armstrong and the other astronauts
left on the surface of the Moon will still be there in a
million years' time.
Jupiter is so big you could fit the Earth inside it 1300
times over.
On the Sun a person would be as heavy as an elephant is
on Earth. The Sun is 330,000 times more massive than the
Earth, so its gravity is very strong.
===============================================================
>-->From The Mouthpiece:
>Deep Observations on Life
_.-'''-._
.' .-'``|'.
/ / -*- \
; <{ | ;
| _\ | |
; _\ -*- | ;
\ \ | -*- /
jgs '._ '.__ |_.'
'-----'
1) "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died
peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car." --Author Unknown
2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you
get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take
two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." --Author Unknown
3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a
support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet
at the bar." --Drew Carey
4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not
a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it,
have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at
the wrong house." --Jeff Foxworthy
5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and
saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's
life without even considering if there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry
6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and
we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend
wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.
There should be severance pay, and the day before they leave
you, they should have to find you a temp." --Bob Ettinger
7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took
her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said,
'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim'."
--Paula Poundstone
8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: "Duh." --Conan O'Brien
9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm half-
way through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I
could be eating a slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery
10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people
in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the
poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni
===============================================================
>-->From our Friend Tony in Australia :)
Folks, this had me scared so I decided to look into it. Low stomach
pains and cramps are somethign that I seem to have developed in the last
6-9 mths since a hospital visit, which was also about the same time as I
started to use "Sugarine" to help me loose weight 'pre-op'... So heres
what 'others' say about sweeteners.
oOOOOOo
,| oO
//| |
\\| |
`| |
`-----`
>From Snopes: Kiss My Aspartame
Claim: The artificial sweetener aspartame has been proved responsible
for an epidemic of cancer, brain tumors, and multiple sclerosis.
Visit here for the rest:
http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/aspartame.asp
sweets?
---
...Good Tip - Thanks Tony - we have more myths on Cancer from
LifeScript...
10 Breast Cancer Myths
Breast cancer is a woman’s bogeyman. Most women know others who’ve had
the disease or died from it. And most are confounded that their breasts,
which nurtured their children, can also offer up illness, disfigurement
and even death. Such feelings make it easy to believe incorrect
information that can heighten fear. Below are common breast cancer myths
and the facts that debunk them…
http://tinyurl.com/2uhwfu
10 Breast Cancer Myths
======================================================================
>-->From Our friend Richard :)
If you saw the national news friday we had a plane crash into a popular
resturant in Clayton NC. Plane blew up on impact and went all the way
into the dining area. 8 Staff were there.. Luckiliy it was an hour
before they opened for their lunch crowd. Only the pilot died.
__
//\\ .-""""""""-.
\\// (o0OoO0oOoOoo)
|| |`""""""""""`|
|| \ /
|| '.________.'
jgs ||
Marita and I ate dinner there a few days before.
You just never know.
Dick
Visit here for a picture:
http://bbs.keyhole.com/ubb/showflat.php?Number=1007659
plane crash
---
...Thank You Dick - yes, you never do know - Praise God you and Marita and
others are safe - sadly we lift the pilots loved ones and our prayers are
with them in their time of loss. Looked like a really bad crash.
========================================================================
>-->From SermondFodder:
>The Flower Sermon
_
_(_)_ wWWWw _
@@@@ (_)@(_) vVVVv _ @@@@ (___) _(_)_
@@()@@ wWWWw (_)\ (___) _(_)_ @@()@@ Y (_)@(_)
@@@@ (___) `|/ Y (_)@(_) @@@@ \|/ (_)\
/ Y \| \|/ /(_) \| |/ |
\ | \ |/ | / \ | / \|/ |/ \| \|/
jgs \\|// \\|/// \\\|//\\\|/// \|/// \\\|// \\|// \\\|//
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The pastor's sermon focused on how God know's which of us
grows best in the sunlight and which of us needs shade.
"For example," he said, "roses must be planted in the sun,
but fuchsias thrive in the shade."
After the service, a woman, her face beaming, approached
him.
"Your sermon did me so much good," she said.
Before he had time to gloat too much, however, she added,
"I always wondered what was wrong with my fuchsias."
=========================================
Pearl of Wisdom: "If you fear that God has no great plans for you
and you are looking for signs and wonders to confirm His presence,
just stop and look in the mirror and you will see one of His greatest
miracles!" -- Bob Perks
===========================================
>THE GREATEST REWARD
\\\\
\c .(
\ _/
___/( /(
/--/ \\//
__ )/ /\/ \/
`-.\ //\\
\\// \\
\/ \\
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jgs '--`
There is an old story about the Greek Marathon. Muscular,
conditioned runners paced nervously near the starting line for the
long-distance race. The time was near. They "shook out" their
muscles, inhaled deeply, and put on their "game faces."
In the midst of it all, a young stranger took his place at the
starting line. His physique was awesome. Taking no notice of the
other contestants, he stared straight ahead. Two prizes would be
awarded the winner of the Marathon: a magnificent bouquet of flowers
and the honor of standing beside the king until the conclusion of
other contests.
There seemed to be no question among the runners about who would
win the prize. It is alleged that the stranger was offered money not
to run. Someone else attempted to bribe him with property. Refusing
the offers, he toed the mark and awaited the signal to run. When the
signal was given, he was the first away. At the finish line, he was
the first to cross, well ahead of the rest.
When it was all done, someone asked the young man if he thought
the flowers were worth as much as the money and property he had
refused. He replied, "I did not enter the race for the flowers. I ran
so that I could stand beside my king!"
Those of us who have chosen to follow Jesus Christ are "running
the race" (I Cor. 9:24-25). It is a race that has a prize for those
who finish (notice, not those who finish first, but all who finish).
This prize, according to Paul, is an "imperish-able crown." The
rewards for those who enter heaven are described in scripture with a
lot of terms -- "many mansions", "streets of gold", "tree of life",
and the list goes on and on.
All of those things are attractive. That's why God tells us about
them.
But I would be willing to give up all the streets of gold and
settle for a small corner of a shack as long as I can know the reward
of being able to stand beside my King. That's what I look forward to
more than anything else. It is the one thing that will make heaven
the wonderful reward that it will be.
"...The throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His
servants shall serve Him." (Rev. 22:3)
Run the race with diligence. Your King is watching and waits for
you at the finish line!
To join send a blank email to
Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
====================================================================
>-->From our Friend Steve :)
>A classic - Do You Know Who I Am?
_
-=\`\
|\ ____\_\__
-=\c`""""""" "`)
jgs `~~~~~/ /~~`
-==/ /
'-'
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being
smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger
who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded
United flight was canceled.
A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his
ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it
has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but
I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work
something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers
behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address
microphone.
"May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing
throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES
NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please
come to gate 17."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared
at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "(Expletive) you."
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have
to stand in line for that, too."
The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly.
Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no
longer angry at United.
-<>-
_ _
( ` )_
( ) `)
(_ (_ . _) _)
_
( )
_ . ( ` ) . )
( _ )_ (_, _( ,_)_)
(_ _(_ ,)
>Who wants to be a millionaire?
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final
plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win
$1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the
$32,000 milestone money.
As she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no
pushover It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not
build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other
birds?
Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was
doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her
Audience Poll Lifeline All that remained was her Phone -a-Friend
Lifeline. The woman hoped she would not have to use it because her
friend was, well... blonde.
She had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question
and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly:
"That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo."
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered
employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one
that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a
blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend
had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the
contestant could not help but be persuaded.
"I need an answer," said Regis.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer."
Two minutes later, Regis said, "That answer is... Absolutely
correct!!You are now a millionaire!"
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and
friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million
dollars.
"Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "How
did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't
build nests. They live in clocks."
-<>-
>The Duck and The Devil
__
/` ,\__
| ).-'
/ .--'
/ /
, _.==''` \
.'( _.=' |
{ `` _.=' |
{ \` ; /
`. `'=..' .='
`=._ .='
jgs '-`\\`__
`-._{
There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was
given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the
woods; but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged,
he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse,
he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed
it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the
wood pile; only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but
she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's
wash the dishes" But
Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen."
Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the
dishes. Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go
fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make
supper."
Sally just smiled and said, "Well that's all right because Johnny told
me he wanted to help" She whispered again, "Remember the duck?" So Sally
went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.
After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he
finally couldn't stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma
knelt down, gave him a hug and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was
standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love
you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally
make a slave of you."
Thought for the day and every day thereafter?
|_| ,
('.') ///
<(_)`-/'
<-._/J L / -bf-
Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps
throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits,
hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know
that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has
seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that
you are forgiven.
|_| ,
('.') ///
<(_)`-/'
<-._/J L / -bf-
He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.
The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not
only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God's grace and mercy that
we are saved.
Go ahead and make the difference in someone's life today. Share this
with a friend and always remember: God is at the window!
__
/_/\/\
\_\ /
/_/ \ When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!
\_\/\ \
\_\/
unknown
If you are one of the 93 % who will stand up for him forward this with
the title, "I'm in the 93%"
Would you believe 7% of people won't forward this?
---
...Excellent! Thanks Steve!
Romans 10:9,10
"9": That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt
believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou
shalt be saved.
"10": For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the
mouth confession is made unto salvation.
==========================================================================
>-->From our Friend Pat :)
+
vAv .-.
(")| # |
/ v \\# | + o
c\\ //=.-'O/"-.
|/~."| |"-/.-'|
/ . (__| | |
(=/===)` ~-.|.-'
a:f
>God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar.
You may be going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready
to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.
My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and
I picked you. Please pass this to at least four people you want to be
blessed and a copy back to me. This prayer is powerful, and prayer is
one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards.
Let us continue to pray for one another.
Here is the prayer:
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies
reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and
power. I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where
there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is
self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Bless their
homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings In Jesus'
precious name. Amen
I know, I picked more than four, so can you
G O D B L E S S Y O U ! !
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
---
...Nice! Thank You Pat!
==========================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Maxy's Pal :)
>Your Yearly Dementia Test
,d88b, ,_-~\
__.__888888__.___.._.__._.__._...___._._. _.' \ `\ __.__._.__._.__._Seal_.__
--_-_--- _.-'~~~~---__-' `\ _-
-__-_- - _.-' -~~- __ --,. __~
-_-- - _.-' _ _ -- - ' ,' ,-'
_ _ _.-' _ - ' See If YOU ; -
_ _ - _.-' -' Still Got It ' :_- _ -
- - .-' / TAKE THE TEST!! / ; _ - - -
_~- _~ ~_ -'_ _ _ _ _ - -_ -~ _~ _ -
It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As
we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use
it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or
non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your
answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread."
If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next
question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content
yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black
house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks,"
why are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided
into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, two
engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is
also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately
the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack
in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no
man's land"?
Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're
a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors",
proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In
Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon, two
people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16
people get on. In Swansea ,3 people get off and five people get on. In
Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive
at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name?
It was YOU!!
Now pass this along to all your friends and pray
they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions
---
...Thanks Maxy's Pal - which is a good reason why when we pray we
should ask God for a sound MIND and a sound Body. :)
====================================================================
>-->From Our Friend John Paul :)
She wrote Darling!
http://www.terrisfp.com/j8/darling.html
darling
---
...A Good one! Thanks John Paul!
====================================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
.===. _ _
/ _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \
\/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ |
( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===.
_)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \
/ `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ )
/\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )(
\ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_)
\|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \
| L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) )
|__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\
| | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\
|_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"`
jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_
(___|___) (___|___) (___|___)
>From MySoldier: My ABC's: Helping Children in Need
My ABC's program was designed in response to the many letters and emails
received from soldiers participating in My Soldier who said the most
rewarding part of being deployed was taking part in humanitarian
missions that rebuilt schools and created new learning centers. Schools
in conflict areas are lacking in supplies that are very difficult for
locals to gain access to. Therefore soldiers are asking for specific
donations of learning tools and school supplies that are needed to
provide proper instruction.
Civilians who are interested in registering for My ABC's should visit
www.mysoldier.com and read the instructions on how they can receive an
Information Packet that contains instructions, guidelines and a wish
list of the most requested items. By registering civilians agree to
prepare a care package with school supplies. There is no minimum amount
required but it is requested that items be new or like new. The
information packet also assigns each participant a Point of Contact
(military personnel) who is working to rebuild schools or local
community centers in Iraq or Afghanistan.
Visit here for complete details:
http://www.mysoldier.com
MySoldier.com
-<>-
>From CoffeeBreak:
Ga. vet gives puppy a reprieve from pound
A veterinarian in Georgia has decided not to follow through
on a threat to send a puppy to the pound because of an
unpaid bill. Pilot the collie faced a possible death
sentence, but after hearing from an attorney for the dog's
owner, Dr. Garry Innocent of Duluth changed his mind. He
is looking instead into putting the pet up for adoption,
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported. "We're going
to exercise another remedy provided in the law: adoption,"
the vet said. Innocent said Pilot's owner is past due on
a $974 bill.
.---.
(_---_)
(_/6 6\_)
( v )
`\ /'
.-'': ;``-.
/ \,Y./ \
/ (:)___ \
: .-'XXX`-.`\_;
`.__.-XXX-.__.'\_
/ / XXX \ \ `\_
/ XXX \ `\
/ XXX \ _`\___
jgs / \ (`--"""-')
/ \ (=-=-=-=-)
`--...___ ___...--' (________)
Knitting deemed dangerous at hospital
The rhythmic click-click of knitting needles at one British
hospital has become a little less noticeable because
officials said the needles may be too sharp. Relatives and
patients at Congleton War Memorial Hospital, a National
Health Services Trust facility, used to be asked to knit
squares that could be sewn into blankets and donated to
local charities. Now, any knitter looking to purl away
some time must ask permission at the hospital's reception
desk before being handed the supposedly hazardous equipment,
the Daily Mail reported Monday. Michael Lambert, chairman
of the hospital's league of friends, said a box was
available to anyone who wanted to knit a blanket square
while visiting.
Mom allegedly drives getaway car
An 18-year-old woman was arrested in Beech Grove, Ind.,
after allegedly acting as the getaway driver for an armed
robber with her 16-month daughter in the car. Abby G. Brown
of Indianapolis was being held Monday morning in the Marion
County Jail with bond set at $25,000, the Indianapolis Star
reported. Brown was charged with resisting law enforcement
after police say she led officers on a brief chase after
Zachary D. Willis, 22, allegedly robbed a Murphy Oil station
for $215. Brown's daughter, Khlen Jones, was reportedly in
the 1997 Buick Skylark during the pursuit. Police arrested
Brown and found her daughter Khlen in the vehicle. Police
placed Khlen in the custody of her grandfather, Duane Brown.
Willis faces initial charges of robbery, resisting law
enforcement and disorderly conduct.
__
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. . . | _____..---.._/ ____ Seal _
~---~~~~----~~~~ ~~
Lone dolphin just wants to have fun
A solitary but playful dolphin has been sighted along the
British coast, making friends with lifeboat crews and
sailors. The dolphin, photographed cavorting with Penlee
lifeboat crews off the coast of Cornwall, is believed to
the same one that frolicked among the boats earlier this
month in Plymouth Sound, The Times of London reported.
Peter Bloom, a dolphin expert at Flamingo Land in North
Yorkshire, said the dolphin's behavior, while rare, is not
unheard of. Dolphins usually travel in large groups, but
this one may have been rejected and traveling solo. "He
was very friendly, he came right up against the boat and
let us stroke him," said Patrick Harvey, deputy coxswain
at Penlee lifeboat station. "He was rolling over so we
could rub his belly."
-<>-
>In The BizarreNews:
-- Woman sues after drinking battery acid ---------
CHICAGO - A Frankfort, Ill., woman who accidentally drank
battery acid in January is suing the man who left it in
her home as well as the company that sold it to him.
Patricia Gabrysiak needed a new sump pump, so she called
an installer and he came and left the pump and some
supplies in the basement of her home. He also left a gallon
water jug, a liter water container and a bottle with a
ginger ale label all filled with battery acid, said the
lawsuit filed in Will County Circuit Court. Gabrysiak took
a drink from one of the containers not realizing that it
was battery acid and had to be taken to a hospital with
severe burns, the Chicago Tribune reported. She is now
suing repairman, J. Brady McCahey, who allegedly left the
containers, as well as Master Automotive Supply and Parts
Plus Auto Store, which allegedly sold him the acid in
unlabeled containers. The acid was to be used for the
pump's battery and was moved out of the basement "by a
third party," said the attorney for the Frankfort repair-
man.
_________ . .
(.. \_ , |\ /|
\ 0 \ /| \ \/ /
\______ \/ | \ /
vvvv\ \ | / | NOT The Daddy!
\^^^^ == \_/ |
`\_ === \. |
/ /\_ \ / |
|/ \_ \| /
\________/snd
-- Mate-less shark finds way to give birth ---------
PHOENIX - Twilight the shark is no longer the lone shark
in a Phoenix high school class's fish tank; she's a mom
despite being celibate for four years. Carl Hayden
Community High School teacher Fredi Lajvardi and his
science students investigated the birth and discovered
that it's rare, the Arizona Republic reported Tuesday. "As
far as we know, we are the third case worldwide," Lajvardi
told the Phoenix newspaper. This type of birth is known as
parthenogenesis, in which an unfertilized egg develops
into a new pup, said Lajvardi, program manager for the
Carl Hayden Center for Marine Science. "Normally, it would
recombine with the father's half of the gene," the teacher
said. "But because there is no father, the mother provided
the other half." The week-old pup, which students named
Dawn, was born to the white-spotted bamboo shark living in
one of the school's marine-science classrooms, the Republic
reported.
-- New Yorker on top of world before arrest ---------
NEW YORK - A New Yorker took James Cagney's "top of the
world" remarks to heart by scaling a giant globe outside
the Trump Trump International Hotel and Tower. Police said
the man, Richard Fredette, 57, rolled up to the stainless-
steel sphere on his inline skates Sunday then climbed up
the orb has one would climb a ladder, the New York Post
reported. Looking down upon the masses, Fredette spread the
word -- about a rock concert. He then took time to enjoy a
snack before descending after police arrived and coaxed him
down. Police arrested Fredette, charging him with disorder-
ly conduct and criminal trespassing.
============================================================
>-->From The Jokester:
___ _______________ ____
/_ \ __/ \__ / __\ amw
/ \ \ _/ ___ ___ \/ / \
| \ \/ / __\ / __\ \/ |
| \ | / _|| | / _|| | |
\ |/_/@|| ___|/ /@|| | /
\__ / \ |__/
| / \ ________\ |
\ / (_ _) |
| /\\_ \_____/ | /
\ \ \_ __|__ | _/
|\ \ \__/ \__/_/
| \ \ /
| \___________/
>Pet-Care Tips [NOT]
Animals need more than just TLC to thrive. Here are some tips
to help keep your pet healthy and happy for years to come:
* When going on vacation, be sure to leave cans of dog food
and a can opener where your dog can easily reach them.
* If you love your cat, change your first name to Meow legally,
and then train your cat to call you by name. Cool at parties.
* Take your snake outside regularly. If not, no one will know
you're one of those freaky snake people.
* If your dog or cat starts wearing pointy, '50s-era women's
eye-glasses, contact cartoonist Gary Larson immediately.
* Owning a colorful cockatiel or mynah bird is a great way to
make you wake up one morning, slap yourself on the forehead,
and say, "Whoa, I could of had a Mickey Mouse alarm clock!"
* Most tropical fish are dead when they are upside-down and
motionless at the top of the tank.... remove after two weeks.
* Many people consider their pets just as important a part of
the family as its human members. This is normal. Just don't
tell your spouse.
* If you have a pot-bellied pig, with yellowish eyes at home
...best you check the pig's religious affiliation before
considering marriage.
* Unless you constantly reassure your dog that he is a good dog,
he will likely grow depressed and eventually require sharing your
anti-depressants and your slippers.
* When choosing a pet, remember she may be soft and cute, but
Penthouse pet Julie Strain is extremely expensive and high-
maintenance.
* Pet rabbits often benefit from a glass of white wine and light
breading in a rosemary butter sauce.
* Animals should always be stroked horizontally. Never try to go
across the under belly of the pet....without parental permission.
* By blinding your dog, you may technically be able to get it into
stores and restaurants.
* Your Rottweiler or pit bull won't turn on you and kill you someday
if you train it properly. Honest. Put it out of your mind, it's a
longshot. I mean what are the odds - 76%?
* If your puppies and kittens tend to grow bigger and less cute,
consider a constrictive nylon mesh suit to maintain ideal size.
* Most kittens can withstand impacts of up to 25 mph, but there's no
way to be sure without extensive testing.
* Getting your kids a boa constrictor and a dozen rats is a great
way to teach them that the animal kingdom is not something that
exists just for their amusement.
* Old people enjoy pets. Get your pet one.
* Seven out of ten people polled believe that giving a skunk as a
wedding gift is de classe.
* Most dogs in the White House adopt a President for photo shoots,
best if the President is house-broken first though.
,-~~-.___.
/ | ' \ Basic Rules for Dogs....
( ) 0
\_/-, ,----'
==== //
/ \-'~; /~~~(O)
/ __/~| / |
=( _____| (_________|
>> Who Have a Yard to Protect <<
NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the
front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway
every morning for that purpose.
VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge
across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person.
If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its
face and growl gently to show your concern.
BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark---
a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their
house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in
their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep
waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark,
bark, bark...
LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately
before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to
fetch your human a towel.
HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and
upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so
they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of
each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough
holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this
problem.
DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the
family dog to sleep.
THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your
duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.
DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when
there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor.
It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.
HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as
much of the house as possible.
GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master
or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all
your humans have gone to bed.
PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the
flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.
CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never--- quite--- catch
them. It spoils all the fun.
CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry....Eat a shoe.
=======================================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
There is a pretty funny contemporary author named Bill
Bryson who writes a lot of non-fiction stuff. I was recently
glancing through one of his books called "The Life and Times
of the Thunderbolt Kid" which is roughly an autobiography of
the author, but is more specifically a look at what life was
like growing up in the midwest in the 1950s. Following is an
excerpt I found particularly amusing...
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/ .\ / ) |
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\_./ <___/
The worst toy of the 1950s, possibly the worst
toy ever built, was electric football.
Electric football was a game that all boys were
compelled to accept as a Christmas present at
some point in the 1950s. It consisted of a box
with the usual exciting and misleading illustra-
tions containing a tinny metal board, about the
size of a breakfast tray, painted to look like
an American football field. This vibrated in-
tensely when switched on, making twenty-two
little men move around in a curiously stiff and
frantic fashion. It took forever to set up each
play because the men were so fiddly and kept
falling over, and because you argued continu-
ously with your opponent about what formations
were legal and who got to position the final
man, since clearly there was an advantage in
waiting till the last possible instant and then
abruptly moving your running back out to the
sidelines where there were no defenders to
trouble him. All this always ended in bitter
arguments, punctuated by reaching across and
knocking over your opponent's favorite players,
sometimes repeatedly, with a flicked finger.
It hardly mattered how they were set up because
electric football players never went in the
direction intended. In practice what happened
was that half the players instantly fell over
and lay twitching violently as if suffering
from some extreme gastric disorder, while the
others streamed off in as many different di-
rections as there were upright players before
eventually clumping together in a corner. The
one exception to this was the running back who
just trembled in place for five or six minutes,
then slowly turned and went on an unopposed
glide toward the wrong end zone until knocked
over with a finger on the two-yard line by his
distressed manager, occasioning more bickering.
At this point you switched off the power,
righted all the fallen men, and painstakingly
repeated the setting-up process. After three
plays like this, you would push the game out of
the way under the bed where it would never be
touched again.
Sounds like a lot of fun...but I think I'll stick with the
X Box.
Laugh it up, Joe
-<>-
The local high school has a policy that the parents must call
the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Alice
deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends.
So she waited until her parents had left for work and called
the school herself.
"Hi, I'm calling to report that Alice is unable to make it
to school today because she is ill."
Secretary at high school answered, "I'm sorry to hear that.
I'll note her absence. Who is this calling please?"
"This is my mother."
-<>-
A motorcycle enthusiast complained that he couldn't decide
whether to buy a bike with high top speed and poor acceler-
ation, or one with lots of torque and fast acceleration,
but a poor top speed. Eventually he decided on the second
one, because it cost a lot less. After all, torque is chaep!
-<>-
It was a terrible night, blowing cold and snow in a most
frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local
baker was just about to close up shop when a little, old
man slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella,
blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a
thick coat. But even so he still looked wet, freezing, and
bedraggled.
As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have
two poppy seed bagels to go, please?"
The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"
"That's right," answered the little man. "One for me and
one for Sherry."
"And who is Sherry, your wife?" asked the baker.
"What did you think," snapped the little man, "that my mother
would send me out on a night like this?"
-<>-
/` |>18>>
/ |
<-
My niece's class assignment was to interview a senior citizen
about his or her life, so she asked me, "What was the biggest
historical event that happened during your childhood?"
"I'd have to say the moonwalk," I replied.
She looked disappointed. "That dance was so important to you?"
-<>-
Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for
everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems
you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?"
Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the
city to go around and remove all the money from parking
meters. I start on Monday!"
The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the
round.
Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and
says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over
having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be
when you get your paycheck!"
Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his
face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from his pocket,
and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"
================================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
>You know you're a redneck when......
oxoxoo ooxoo
ooxoxo oo oxoxooo
oooo xxoxoo ooo ooox
oxo o oxoxo xoxxoxo
oxo xooxoooo o ooo
ooo\oo\ /o/o
\ \/ /
| /
| |
| D|
| |
| |
______/____\____
Christopher S McDowell
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18 Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip"
on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
=======================================================================
>-->From JokesCentral:
___ ___ ___
/___/___/___/|
/___/___/___/|| Do You Remember...
/___/___/__ /|/|
| | | | /|| Rubics cube
|___|___|___|/|/|
| | | | /||
|___|___|___|/|/
| | | | /
|___|___|___|/
unknown
>YOU KNOW YOU GREW UP IN THE 1980'S IF...
You solved the Rubics cube.....by peeling off the stickers
You ever ended your sentence with "psych"
You watched the pound puppies
You can sing the rap to "the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish
You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to
start a club of your own.
You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls
You know that 'Whoa' comes from Joey on "Blossom"
Three words: M.C. Hammer
You thought it would be great to have a friend named, "Boner"
You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales"
If you played the chipmunks Christmas album all year long!
Remember reading Kool-Aid man comics
You ever watched Fraggle Rock
You had plastic streamers on the handle bars of your bike
You remember When it was actually worth getting up early on a
Saturday to watch cartoons
You wore a pony tail to the side of your head
You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen
You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class
at school
You made your mom buy you one of those clips that would hold your
shirt in a knot on the side
You had a Kirk Cameron poster on your bedroom wall
You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House) with
friends at school
You wore a Jordache je! an jacket and you were proud of it
L.A. GEAR
Your mother wouldn't let you have garbage pail kids
You wanted to change your name to Jem in Kindergarten
You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the
Ramona books
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off"
You wanted to be a Goonie
You ever wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing
You wanted to be on StarSearch
You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose
fell off
You took Lunch pales to school
You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf
You remember the craze, and then banning of slap bracelets
You still get the urge to use "NOT" at the end of every statement you
make
You remember Hypercolor T-shirts
Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
You remember Punky Brewster
You loved Howard the Duck
You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up
You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you
exchanged "friendship bracelets"
You ever owned a pair of Jelly Shoes
After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you couldn't stop saying "I
know you are but what am I?"
You remember "I've fallen...and I can't get up!"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline
skates
You ever got seriously injured on a slip and slide
You know not to mix poprocks and soda (but did it anyway!)
You have played with a 'skip-it'
You had or went to a birthday party at McDonald's
You learned oldies songs by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks
You had a Glow Worm or watched the cartoons
You remember dancing along with the Bangles in "Walk Like An
Egyptian"
If you remember Heathcliff the orange cat
You saw the California Raisins Christmas claymation special
You've gone through this list occasionally saying "That wasn't from
the 80's."
You remember Popples
DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You wore socks over tights with high-top Reeboks
You wore like 8 pairs of socks at once, scrunched down
MISS MARY MACK MACK MACK ALL DRESSED IN BLACK BLACK BLACK.....
You remember boom boxes instead of CD players
________
_jgN########Ngg_
_N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_
d###P N####p
"^^" T####
d###P
_g###@F
_gN##@P
gN###F"
d###F
0###F
0###F Remember watching both "Gremlins" movies
0###F
"NN@'
___
q###r
""
You remember the Transformers
You know what it meant to say "care bear stare!!" and you had a
favorite
You remember Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales
You remember watching TV thinking Doogie Howser was hot!
You remember Alf, the little furry brown alien from Melmac
You remember the large amounts of hairspray used
You remember those very stylish headbands
You remember Vicky the Robot
You remember Eve Garland from Out of this World and how she could
stop time by pressing the tips of her index fingers together and
talking to her dad through a glowing cube in her bedroom
You remember the beggining of New Kids on the Block
You remember wa! tching The Cosby show
You remember Mr.Belvadere
You remember Michael J. Fox in Family Ties and Back to the Future
You know all the names of the gang from "Saved by the Bell"
You know all the words to Bon Jovi's "shot through the heart" song
----Pass this on to anyone you know grew upp in the 1980's.----
-<>-
Group: __
) `"""";._/}
| ' /
\ |
jgs '--. .-.\
The year is 2003 , one hundred years ago ... what a difference
acentury makes. Here are the U.S. statistics for 1902....
*The average life expectancy in the US was forty-seven (47)
*Only 14 Percent of the homes in the US had a bathtub
*Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone
*A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost elevendollars
*There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of
pavedroads
*The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
*Alabama,*Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily
populated than California
*With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21stmost
populous state in the Union
*The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower
*The average wage in the US was 22 cents an hour
*The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year
*A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, adentist
$2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per
year,and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year
*More than 95 percent of all births in the US took place at home
*Ninety percent of all US physicians had no college
education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were
condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."
*Sugar cost four cents a pound
*Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen
*Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound
*Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax oregg
yolks for shampoo
*Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering thecountry
for any reason
*The five leading causes of death in the US were
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
*The American flag had 45 stars Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii
and Alaska hadn't beenadmitted to the Union yet
*The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30
*Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented
*There were no Mother's Day or Father's Day
*One in ten US adults couldn't read or write
*Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school
*Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the
counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin
clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the
stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of
health."
*Eighteen percent of households in the US had at least one full-time
servant or domestic.
*There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire US Just
think what it will be like in another 100 years.
It boggles the mind...........
=================================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit:
>From The Mouthpiece:
You don't know Dick!
Don't be a Dick! (But if you must be a Dick...
be a famous Dick.)
Visit:
YOU DON'T KNOW DICK
STACKOPOLIS
Prepare to be addicted to this game that is like crack with-
out all the nasty side effects. This game has been tagged
as "the most addictive game since Tetris!"
Visit:
STACKOPOLIS
Intelligence Tests
This site contains series of unique IQ tests. They may not
be so accurate, but should be very fun and entertaining to
do.
Visit:
Intelligence Tests
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Desk's by Marlene
http://community-2.webtv.net/SUMMERHOOSIER2/Desks/
Life... Willy Nelson & Patsy Kline Via Dianne
http://www.ziplo.com/Life.html
Falling Leaves
Http://bcoff43.com/autumn_leaves.html
Patricia And Johnny Via Juanita
http://poetrybyginny.com/PatriciaAndJohnny.htm
Fall Splendor
http://naturelover00.webbywarehouse.com/htmls/FallSplendor.html
Guide Dogs
http://www.canismajor.com/dog/pilot.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.kessels.com/CatSounds/index.html
Movies
Good Long Commercial
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/3205.htm
Government Employee
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/3206.htm
Bodyguard
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21713.htm
Airport
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/080304.htm
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail
to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
==================================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"The Democratic candidates are having a debate sponsored by
the senior citizens group AARP. It was just like all the
other debates except the moderator asked the same questions
over and over." -Conan O'Brien
"You know why O.J. originally went to Las Vegas? For a wedding.
He ends up in jail. Boy that's a bad weekend! Either one of
those is a nightmare, but both of them! How many guys would
take jail over the wedding?" -Jay Leno
"A private school in New York raised its tuition so much
that now it only has two students. As a result, this
year's graduation has only two categories: valedictorian
and dumbass." -Conan O'Brien
"Not such a great day for that student who was Tasered at
the John Kerry speech in Florida. If you've ever heard John
Kerry speak, being Tasered is a bit less painful."
-Craig Ferguson
"Britney Spears has some legal troubles of her own. She's
been dropped by her manager and dropped by her lawyer.
She's been dropped now almost as much as her children. All
she has left now are her dogs and a swimming pool filled
with YooHoo." -Jimmy Kimmel
"One of the men who was allegedly robbed by O.J. Simpson
is now saying he won't press charges. In exchange O.J. has
promised not to double murder the man."
- Conan O'Brien
"Not a great day for the American justice system. The jury
is back in the Phil Spector trial. I'm not kidding — it's
a hung jury. We have a picture of the five people on the
jury who think he's not guilty. There's Darth Vader,
Michael Jackson, O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, and Satan."
- Craig Ferguson
"Al Gore won an Emmy. He's won so much: He's won an Oscar
this year, for his role as Chewbacca in the "Star Wars"
movie..."
- Jimmy Kimmel
"What really concerns me about these new "smart" appliances
is that even if we like the features, we won't be able to
use them. I don't know how to operate my TV, which requires
THREE remote controls. One control (44 buttons) came with
the TV; a second (39 buttons) came with the VCR; the third
(37 buttons) was brought here by the cable-TV man, who ap-
parently felt that I did not have enough buttons. So when
I want to watch TV, I'm confronted with a total of 120
buttons, identified by such helpful labels as PIP, MTS,
DBS, F2, JUMP and BLANK." -Dave Barry
"In a new book Mexico's former president, Vincente Fox, says
that President Bush's Spanish is at grade-school level.
Fortunately, Bush's feelings weren't hurt because Fox made
the comments in Spanish." -Conan O'Brien
---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSEE :)Shangy!
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http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html
Shangrala
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-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice
You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806
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-->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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>TO SUBSCRIBE:
a href="http://tinyurl.com/2vrfzv">This Weeks regular Shangy emails
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-->Want to ADVERTISE in The Shangy FUN Listt Publication?
>To ADVERTISE:
Advertise
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-->Missed Any of These Teachings? 'BABES INN CHRIST','IN The Beginning',
'Crossing The Line','NEVER Give Up', 'FEAR - Feeling Kind Of Buggy',
'HAUNTINGS', 'Christianity And The Renewed Mind', or 'Curse Of The Law'
--BE SURE TO Tell me which one you want or you'll get them all :)
>For a Lesson:
Teaching
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