Men Are Like And More.... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ _..---.._ .' .-'''-. '. / .' _..._'. \ __ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\ ,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_| `-, `; .\; / ^\ _,.="// '-,_.--._ '.(;_.'__/`_.-'`\ ,.--''`` _..=. `'--.// `` \ `--, '` `- |_\ '-. | `-._ _.;--`-..___,.-'` `'-...-_:',;`==,| \ _.--',=" / /"=;="=, _.' ,=".-'` .' /| ,=" _.--' .-' "=, : .' | ", `;._ .--'.' .-' .' . ; ,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' / ,;;;._ '-._ .''.__.' `\_ .' '._ / '._ .(` jgs '._ ';./ `;` *~* FOR GIVING TUESDAY - Please Consider ShangralaFamilyFun.com I need your help! The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ,-. / `. ,--_. \ \ \ `-_ `. \ ^-_ `. `. \ `. `. `. \ `. `. \ \ `. `-___/ | `. '--. \ ,--.--.' \ |* |* | \ `--' --. | --'\ | .~T--____/ / `~|_/\_/ ,' | ,' .--.| ,' ,- | | / ,' | | FRM Student 1: No one can win an argument with that professor... he is so unmoving just like the rock of Gibraltar. Student 2: Blocks the view, doesn't he? -<>- _ .-" `. ;:": ""--.. .-+. ,gpd$L\:._ ""-._ / //;$SS$$$$SS$$t--. "-._ .' `.//SS$P^"""TS$$S. "-. "-, .' _ "-S^" TS$$Sb "-. `. .' .':S$Y _.. SS$$Sb-' "-. ; .' .' SS$;,=-. ._.`:S$$SS; j ; .' .' :SS$$.-' SS$$SS\ / / .' / SS$$S; - SS$$SS ; / / .' / ._dSS$$SS .--. :SS$$$S\; / / / / :SS$$SS$b. `--' $$SS$$S ) / / \ : ;SS$$SS$$SS.___.'$$SS$$Sb / / \ "-. SS$$SS$$$SS $$SS$$SS'; / `. "-dSS$$SS$$SS:; :$$SSSP / `. "^S^': '^TSS' / "-. `. ::-. _ .-"\\ / "-. -._\ ;; \\ : : "-. \ :: \\ ; ; $. `.;; , \\;: dS$\ / '-._ : _.-"" \; `-:S$^$t' ""--:"" ; TP :$$ ; :: : d$S$_: ;-\ ; :$SS$; `.____.' `.___.j $$SS$$ ; / T$S$$; ; ; ; : : `TS$$ : : : ; `T$ : : bug ; ; ; >Men Are Like... Men are like placemats... They only show up when there's food on the table. Men are like mascara... They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like bike helmets... They are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly. Men are like government bonds... They take so long to mature. Men are like parking spots... The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped. Men are like copiers... You need them for reproduction, but that's about it. Men are like lava lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright. Men are like bank accounts... Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest. Men are like high heels... They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it. Men are like curling irons... They're always hot, and they're always in your hair. Men are like mini skirts... If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day November 27 is Pins and Needles Day November 28 is French Toast Day, Make Your Own Head Day and Red Planet Day November 29 is Square Dance Day November 30 is Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day December 1 is Eat a Red Apple Day and World Aids Awareness Day December 2 is National Fritters Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: / , /\ \|/ /\ |\\_;=._//| \." "./ //^\ /^\\ .'``",/ |0| |0| \,"``'. / , `'\.---./'` , \ /` /`\,."( )".,/`\ `\ /` ( '.'-.-'.' ) `\ /"` "._ : _." `"\ `/.'`"=.,_``=``_,.="`'.\` jgs ) ( >Housekeeping Husband My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath." I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest." -<>- >History of the Pilgrims (These are selections from a book called "Then Some Other Things Happened", a collection of short pieces about history written by eighth graders (but could have been college students) and compiled by Bill Lawrence, a teacher and columnist. Wording and spelling have not been changed.) PILGRAM INTERUPTERS The Pilgrams were a bunch of English wonderers who wanted to worship as they wanted to. They excaped the Church of England and came over here because they heard that American churches were different. The May Flower was the ship with which they came in. It didn't have a bathroom on board so there was quite an oder. Priscillia Mullins was the captain. First the Pilgrams had gone to Holland but left when their children started developing customs there. After a stopover at Williamsbug when a large storm blew them off course they landed on a big, slimey rock in Massatusetts. They spent the winter there. Before they got off the ship even they drew up an agreement for the people of Plymouth to agree on the voting for governors and congressmen. They kept this hid in the May Flower Compact. Lord Delaware was elected the first governor of Plymouth Rock. A friendly Indian named Rhone Oak showed the Pilgrams how to plant corn by putting it in the ground. Rhone Oak had been the first Indian to come to America and always wanted a beer. He traveled around with Miles Standy and translated language. He knew enough English to interupt. Another interupter for the white man was Squanto, who was called that because he was so short. Squanto drew up a declaration to give the settlers freedom of goverment in the new land. The Pilgrams gave the Indians thanks for all this and that's what started Thanksgiving. The Pilgrams then appointed Thanksgiving as a national holiday. Abraham Lincoln later pronounced it and gave it to them and it soon became a national holiday all around the world. These people always wore old shoes with a big buckel on the top of them. The men wore pants that only came a little ways past the knees and the girls wore funny bonets. -<>- >Grandfather Turkey Just before Thanksgiving, the holding pen was abuzz as Mother Turkey scolded her younger birds. "You turkeys are always into mischief," she gobbled. "If your grandfather could see the things you do, he'd turn over in his gravy." -<>- >Grace Our son had only heard his grandfather pray at Thanksgiving, Easter, and other special occasions; when he typically would say a long prayer over the food. One night, after a fun camp-out and fishing trip, Grandfather (to our son's surprise) asked a very brief blessing on the food. With a gleam in his eye, our son grinned at his grandfather and said, "You don't pray so long when you're hungry, do you Grandpa?" -<>- Are They Twins? A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her sister's three-month-old baby. Two women approached the mother. "Are they twins?" one asked. "No, they're three months apart." "My! You sure had them close together." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw >SMILES The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.' Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the love appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year- old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon. About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. 'How's the new wife?', asked the banker. Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.' The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?' Without hesitating, Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.' Don't ever underestimate old guys. ------- A pretty young blonde woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination." -------- Mommy sighs, knowing this day would come so she sits her daughter down for a long talk about the birds and the bees. After Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies, the little girl is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mommy asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens, how does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow," the girl exclaims, "my daddy can do ANYTHING!" -------- Recently in traffic court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the officer again, tell him he owes you 157 dollars. Next..." -------- Q. Are birth control pills deductible? A. Only if they don't work -------- A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food." Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry." "Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up..??! I'm starving...!" ------- _ ///-._ ////////-._ /////////////-. ////////////////`. //////////////// .'`. //////////////// . '.'`. '|`'//////////// . .'.::|` : `'/////// . '.':| | . . `'// ' _|- ::| |. .-._ . | . | .':: | |:|:| | ' ' '.::| | |:|:| :. . .'.':| | . |:|:| . | .._.::: : `':| | ' ////-:| |. . | '/////////-._ | . . : .//////////////-._ : : ///////////////////-._ |. |////////////////////////-._ | . . :`'//////////////////////////-._ | . _.-\\\\``'//////////////////////////-._ | /\\\\\\\\..``'//////////////////////////". : . . /. \\\\\\\\\. .``'///////////////////// .'`. : / _ \\\\\\\\\. ``'//////////////// . .'`. | . / (@) \\\\\\\\\. . . ``'/////////// . '.'::|. {`)._ '| _` .\\\\\\\-`:|#| . . ``'////// '. .'.:| `-{_/`| ||::. \\'`.:|:.|#| |#| . ``'/ ' .##:'::: `-| ||||| |`.'::|::|#| |#| |#| . . '| . .|##|'.:| pils | ||||| : .'::|:.'#| |#| |#| |#| | |##|'::| | ||||| .| .'.:|::.'' '#| |#| |#| . : ' |##|'.:| {`\:|||| : .'::|:_.:. . '#| |#| | .|##|'::: `-{_/'|_ |_.-'/}_/'-._ '#| :. |##:'.:| `'{._('}_)-' `-}_}(-._ . . | ' '` .'::| `-' `-.} /-._ . : .'.'_:-'\ `-}_}(-._ | . _.-')_(-' `-/_)`-.:.-{ \{-' `-{_'_)-'' ^ Discovering too late that a watermelon, spiked with vodka, had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction. "Quick man," he whispered to one of the waiters, "what did they say?" "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets to plant at home!" -------- A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church. When he spoke to the congregation he orated, "The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church." The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." -------- A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it. "This is the Masterson diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it." "What's the curse?" the man asked. "Mr. Masterson." -------- The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were missing because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer." One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe." --- ...LOL! Good Ones! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) ._-'-_ . . ' /_-_-_\ ` . .' |-_-_-_-| `. ejm ( `.-_-_-.' ) !`. .'! ! ` . . ' ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! / / \ \ _-| \___ ___/ /-_ (_ )__\_)\(_/__( _) ))))\X\ (((( \/ \/ >In A Spanish Newspaper: “ALL EUROPEAN LIFE DIED IN AUSCHWITZ” by Sebastian Vilar Rodrigez(*) I walked down the street in Barcelona, and suddenly discovered a terrible truth – Europe died in Auschwitz. We killed six million Jews and replaced them with 20 million Muslims. In Auschwitz we burned a culture, thought, creativity, talent. We destroyed the chosen people, truly chosen, because they produced great and wonderful people who changed the world. The contribution of this people is felt in all areas of life: science, art, international trade, and above all, as the conscience of the world. These are the people we burned. And under the pretense of tolerance, and because we wanted to prove to ourselves that we were cured of the disease of racism, we opened our gates to 20 million Muslims, who brought us stupidity and ignorance, religious extremism and lack of tolerance, crime and poverty due to an unwillingness to work and support their families with pride. They have turned our beautiful Spanish cities into the third world, drowning in filth and crime. Shut up in the apartments they receive free from the government, they plan the murder and destruction of their naive hosts. And thus, in our misery, we have exchanged culture for fanatical hatred, creative skill for destructive skill, intelligence for backwardness and superstition. We have exchanged the pursuit of peace of the Jews of Europe and their talent for hoping for a better future for their children, their determined clinging to life because life is holy, for those who pursue death, for people consumed by the desire for death for themselves and others, for our children and theirs. What a terrible mistake was made by miserable Europe. This is a translation of an article from a Spanish newspaper. Please send this article to as many people as possible, with a request to forward it on. --- ...Wow! Hard hitting! Thanks Geniann! Here is TruthOrFiction.com on this: https://tinyurl.com/y7m9o2rw ========================================================= ____________________ | | | HANDY HINTS | | HELP | |____________________| || ,-..'``. || || (,-..'`. ) || || )-c - `)\ || ,.,._.-.,_,.,-||,.(`.-- ,`',.-,_,||.-.,.,-,._. ___||____,`,'--._______|| |`._||______`'__________|| | || __ || | || |.-' ,|- || _,_,,..-,_| || ._)) `|- ||,.,_,_.-.,_ . `._||__________________|| ____ . . . . . <.____`> .SSt . . . . . _.()`'()`' . >-->From HandyHints: A reader wrote in the other day to share a handy hint. Thanks, Kimberly for sharing! Whenever I get a new wallet and I put my drivers license in the window, I have the worst time trying to get it out to show when needed. So here's my story.: I went to early vote Oct 22nd and I was asked to remove my driver's license from my wallet to show the clerk. I struggled and struggled and actually had to stop out of the line so I wouldn't hold anyone else up. An elderly woman at the far end of the table said she had resolution. All I needed to do was put a piece of tape on the end; long enough to extend outside the small windowed compartment. I said it couldn't be that easy so I did it when I got back to work. Sure enough, works like a charm; no more struggling. I told my coworkers the story, they all laughed but a couple of them now use this technique. -submitted by Handy Hint reader Kimberly -<>- Cooler temperatures are here, and colder temps are fast approaching. There's no better time than now to do some seasonal maintenance to keep your home running smoothly. Feel for drafts around the window and door edges. A good hint is to use a lighted candle and if the flame flickers, there's a draft! If it's necessary, replace seals and repair caulk around the window and door frames, or consider buying a heavier drapery for windows. -<>- Programmable thermostats are worth the money Adjust your programmable settings based on your schedule. Set your thermostat to lower temperatures automatically at night when you are already toasty warm under your blankets, and when you aren't home. This can result in substantial savings. -<>- Keep the Humidifier Humming Did you know that bone dry winter air is bad for your health? Did you know it also can make fine wood more prone to cracking? You and your home will feel more comfortable if you keep you humidifier in tip-top shape. Inspect the plates or pads, and if necessary, clean them in a strong laundry detergent solution. Rinse and scrape off mineral deposits with a wire brush or steel wool. ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: “This is a time for Americans to unite together in a spirit of love, understanding, unity, and joy, as one very proud American family,” the President added. https://tinyurl.com/ycffrx4z "There’s a lot to be thankful for over the last two years. Of course you’d never know it if you turned on the TV,” Lauren DeBellis Appell writes in Fox News. “During the campaign, Trump vowed to protect religious liberty, and uphold the rule of law by nominating judges who would interpret the Constitution as written, not rewrite it according to their political whims. He did not disappoint." https://tinyurl.com/ybl7r36g Mexican ambassador to the US: There are criminals in the caravan “Mexico’s ambassador to Washington [Geronimo Gutierrez] has said that ‘there are people that have criminal backgrounds’ in the migrant caravan, lending weight to President Trump's assertion that it presents a threat to the United States,” Nicholas Ballasy reports in the Washington Examiner. “A Department of Homeland Security official reportedly said on Monday the department estimates that there are more than 500 criminals traveling in the caravan heading toward the U.S.” https://tinyurl.com/yaz2q48n Mexico Relations Hit New Boiling Point https://1600daily.com/2018/11/25/mexico-relations-hit-new-boiling-point/ Newt Gingrich: The war on the border is real https://video.foxnews.com/v/5971598662001/ Watters' World 11/24/18 - what we are Thankful for https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHpgaSxh2-8 Justice With Judge Jeanine 11/24/18 (Museum of the Bible visit too) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8Tgpj8TMLk WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest Fox News: https://www.foxnews.com/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Emergency site http://www.emergencyemail.org/ Today's Best Conservative Humor! https://theusawire.com/2018/03/8092-todays-best-conservative-humor/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: Imagine the opening scene of Indiana Jones where Indi is running through the jungle and dozens of primitive natives are chasing him and shooting arrows at him. This story is just like that, except unfortunately for the main charachter, his story doesn't turn out so well. 27-year-old American John Chau was a tourist in India. He was fascinated with the remote Andaman islands and had tried several times to get there. But travel to the islands is legally restricted in order to protect a small tribe of natives who live a very primitive lifestyle there, and shun all contact with the outside world. But John was persistant and eventually was able to bribe a local fishermen to take him there. The remote North Sentinel Island where the indigenous people live is cut off completely from the outside world. It is out of bounds even to the Indian navy in a bid to protect its reclusive inhabitants. But John Chau was determined to visit there. Even after he found a fisherman to take him to the island, the fishermen would not take him all the way. So John had to finish his journey alone in a canoe. Those first steps must have been very exciting for John, but for the natives it was more of an invasion than a friendly visit. As soon as he set foot on the island, Chau found him- self facing a flurry of arrows. The fisherman who brought to the island saw what happened. He said that despite the arrows he continued walking, but eventually they brought him down. A fellow traveler who had known Chau reported that he wanted to go to the Andaman Islands to spread the word of God. I guess the locals did not want to be converted. Now the police have been forced to register a case of murder and seven accused persons have been arrested. I wonder how they will deal with a modern court system? -<>- I found an incredible video that just surfaced recently which I want to share with you. Supposedly this video was recorded last year. It is unknown where it was taken or the driver's condition, but I don't think, judging from the precarious way these shelves were stacked, that it happened anywhere in the United States. The U.S. has way too many safety and liability laws for any business to dare stock their warehouse shelves like a tower of Jenga blocks. Especially the way they collapse like Dominoes. Somebody's got some explaining to do. Wait for it. Wait for it... https://tinyurl.com/yd5f9se7 -<>- *--- Attempted Gas Thief Sets Own Pants on Fire ---* Security cameras outside an Oregon store were recording when a man attempting to siphon gas from a U-Haul truck lit his own pants on fire. Portland Fire & Rescue investigators said the U-Haul truck and a van were found engulfed in flames about 7 a.m. Monday and security camera footage from a nearby store recorded a man fleeing the scene with his pants on fire. Investigators said they determined the man had been trying to use tubes to steal gas from the U-Haul truck when the fuel apparently ignited. "Something ignited that gasoline caught fire. We don't believe this is what the individual intended," Lt. Rich Chatman of Portland Fire & Rescue said. *--- Whatever sells, Real Estate? ---* A Texas real estate agent who hired a pair of fitness models to pose in their underwear said the pictures succeeded in drawing attention to her listing. Kristin Gyldenege said she had to get creative when the listing for the Conroe home failed to get any traction online. "Because we weren't getting any traffic. We needed to do something that was out there, and really pushing the envelope," she said. Gyldenege had a pair of fitness models pose in their underwear in several different areas of the house. The photos were removed by the Houston Association of Realtors, but not before the listing went viral. Gyldenege, who still has some of the photos on her Instagram page, said there's no such thing as bad publicity. She said there haven't been any offers yet, but the listing is finally drawing attention. "We had six showings yesterday." *--- Grandpa Got Stolen by a Burglar ---* There's not much of a black market for dead grandpas. Which is what makes this burglary a bit odd. The cremated remains of someone's grandfather were stolen in Spartanburg, SC during a strange home burglary that saw the thieves take the ashes but leave behind the urn. The ashes were just one of several odd things taken by the burglars, who also slipped away with a selection of makeup, two frozen pizzas, a package of hot dogs, some cheese and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Sounds like a hell of a party. And the thieves did this without any signs of forced entry. The victim told investigators the deadbolt on the door was new, having been replaced just weeks ago after a break. Hmmm, I think I might have a suspect for them. *--- Cyclist Attempting Cross-Country Wheelie ---* A cyclist is attempting to break a Guinness World Record by riding from California to Florida while popping a wheelie. Kurt Osburn, 49, of Las Vegas, started his back-wheel ride at the Santa Monica Pier Oct. 12 and arrived Monday in Tucson, Ariz., about 500 miles into his trip. Osburn is attempting to ride to Cocoa Beach, Fla., while wheelieing -- a total distance of 2,900 miles -- to break his own Guinness World Record and raise money for children's disability charities. Osburn previously entered the Guinness Book of World Records in 1998, when he wheelied for 11 hours inside California's Anaheim Convention Center, and in 1999, when he rode from Hollywood, Calif., to Orlando, Fla., in 75 days on only one wheel. Osburn said he wants to break his record by finishing his current ride in only 45 days. ========================================================= >From TheGroaner: _--_ ( A's) /___7 .~~\ /~~. /""_ V \ om /____/ / .mmmC="_ _/ -----===(((((}{).MMM "" | `"---" ..mMMM"" | \ ( )" \ /\ | / / \ \ /" / \ \ \__/" \__/ '94 the wolfe / / | | .^V^. .^V^. +-+ +-+ >How Was Your Game? Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked. "You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!" "Really? How'd you do that?" "I dropped the ball." -<>- >Q and A Quickies: Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church? A: They use FOWL language. Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A: A turkey that can pluck itself! Q: What key has legs and can't open doors? A: A Turkey. Q: What sound does a turkey's phone make? A: Wing! Wing! Q: Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A: A turkey because it is always stuffed. Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? A: Their AGE! Q: What do fish take to stay healthy? A: Vitamin sea! Q: Can February March? A: No But April May! * * * * ) (\___/) ( * /( \ (. .) )\ * # ) c\ >' ( # ' )-_/ ' \\|, ____| |__ ,|// \ ) ( ` ~ ) ( / #\ / /| . ' .) \ /# | \ / ) , / \ / | \,/ ;;,,;,; \,/ _,#;,;;,;, /,i;;;,,;#,; (( %;;,;,;;,; )) ;#;,;%;;,, _// ;,;; ,#;, /_) #,; // // \|_ \|_ |#\ |#\ -" b'ger -" Q: After the flash on his camera malfunctioned, what did the devil get back from the drugstore? A: Prints of darkness. Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't a chicken. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ___ .-' '-. / \ \^^^^|^^^^/ \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ ejm97 ) /|~ 77 /_|\ /__|_\ ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~========~-~-~-~-~ ` _) ' >> ~-~-~ ` )' S ~-~-~-~ ~ (@) ,'` ~-~-~-~ , ' ` ~-~-~-~-~-~-~ ~-~-~ , ' ` ~-~-~-~ ~-~ , ' ` ,~~~~'~~~~` ` , ~-~-~-~ ` . , ~ I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet. "How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman. "A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground." The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, "What happens if there's no one there I know?" -<>- My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that's a different story. We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?" My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor." -<>- [Supposedly a true story, but who knows? Who keeps chloroform in the house?] A woman who got it into her head that a fresh turkey produced a far superior meal to a frozen one made a trek out to a turkey farm to buy a live bird. But after returning home and looking square into the eyes of the living, breathing creature she'd just purchased, she just couldn't bring herself to kill it by wringing its neck or chopping off its head. Instead, she managed to put the turkey to sleep with chloroform and then began the process of dry-plucking it. Just as she finished removing the last of the feathers, however, the bird woke up. The next-door neighbors responded to her shouts and arrived at her back door to find a woman being chased around her kitchen by an angry, naked turkey. -<>- Here's a killer turkey recipe, with a foolproof self-timer. It's impossible to mess this up. You'll get a perfectly cooked turkey every time. Preheat the oven to 325. Prepare the turkey, basting it with salt, garlic, butter, and black pepper. In a bowl, combine equal parts stuffing mix and popcorn. (Yes, popcorn.) Fill the turkey's cavity with the mixture. Lay the turkey in a greased roasting pan. Insert the turkey into the oven, with the neck pointing inward. This is very important. Do not concern yourself with roasting time. When the turkey's rear end blows the oven door open, it's done. -<>- A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass. -<>- As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season. When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area. "Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist." -<>- En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane dialing her cell phone. "Excuse me. That can't be on during the flight," I reminded her. "Besides, we're over the ocean, you won't get a signal out here." "That's okay," she said. "I'm just calling my daughter. She's sitting up in first class." -<>- I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. "Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect?" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: #3,,_,,E# '} " {' '.@.' ---.-' '-.-fsc----------- >Name 2 of Santa's Reindeer The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..." -<>- `:-._,-.-._,, __ `--'`.`' .. (_ ) ________ __ __( ,_Y) _ _(( )_)__ _ ,--(_ACME_(O) _/_/ /,-, ,-' _-_( )_-_-_ (_(__,[[[___[__],--. (_)///\\_, ((_)_)) ,-\// \// _\==O-O / @( //__`-_) (_) `=(___V____V_(_( .___) _\\-,/_, - -- - _/`\LLLLL(\__/`---' /,-' `--' -__ -- ( / / ( < < jv ' ''''' '''' >"OLD" IS WHEN... **Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" **Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. **Your Honey Dressed Provocatively catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. **You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. **You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. **"Getting a little action" means, "I don't need to take any fiber today." **"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. **An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) We Three Friends http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/threefriends.html Chapel Oak http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oakchapel.html Lily And Maddison http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatdanes.html Fawn Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fawnrescue.html Animal Friends http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends.html Celebrities Then And Now http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrities.html Lamb of God http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/lamb.html Strange Buildings http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildings.html Fun With Nature http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nature.html Pet Confessions http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petconfessions.html Giant Creatures http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giantcreatures.html Bizarre Nature 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bizarrenature2.html Nanny Animals 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals3.html Veteran And Troop Pages http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html Christmas Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- Some of Shangrala's Best Pages http://www.amazafamily.com/index.html -<>- Turkey Touchdown From abdya.com: Turkey Touchdown is a great way for kids to celebrate the holiday and practice their math facts. Kids will choose a level of difficulty, and then decide if they'd like to practice addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division. Get 5 math problems correct in a row to kick a field goal. http://www.abcya.com/turkey_touchdown.htm Turkey Run From PrimaryGames.com: No way! You ain't catching me this year! Help the Turkey escape his destiny and avoid becoming dinner. Happy Thanksgiving! http://www.primarygames.com/holidays/thanksgiving/games/turkeyrun/ RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT Ripleys.com is a mix of wild, crazy, & weird people/animals that have amazing talents or appearances. Browse through their enormous museum for weird and wacky pictures of people doing stunts, practicing talents, or just plain being themselves. http://www.ripleys.com/ Which Batman Villain Are You? Take this quick quiz and find out which criminal of Gotham city you are most like! https://tinyurl.com/ycp5rmdj Dream Christmas Link Game From gamesgames.com: Click open pairs of matching Christmas-themed tiles and clear the board before time runs out to pass each level. Use bonus tiles to get extra hints, reshuffle the tiles, and explode pairs from the board. Choose between Arcade or Adventure Mode and match your way through level after level of Mahjong-style holiday fun! http://www.gamesgames.com/game/dream-christmas-link Clever And Witty Animals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiEB9RRxNGo Funniest Horse Act Ever! Tommie Turvey and Pokerjoe! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6YnchLbVXw Funniest pets! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq0yEI_xpb8 -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) One Arm Reaches Millions - It will bring a tear to your eye http://player.theplatform.com/p/BxmELC/gc_player/select/I_6m3VpqoakQ --- ...Sweet! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) A close-up view of wildlife and survival of the fittest in Hawk Vs. Squirrel. The photography of this epic chase between the hawk and squirrel is simply amazing and must have required careful planning to position the cameras exactly where they needed to be. I couldn’t help but cheer for the squirrel as he does his best to evade and escape from the hawk that is trying to catch him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PxZ9tkiqQI --- ...Wow! Captivating! Thanks LouiseAu! Here's another one! Squirrel vs Red Tail Hawk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10vpSWk8BmU We have hawks around our house. Very Good at getting their prey. They have areas where they patrol and call to each other as they guard the neighborhood from the trees or light poles. That first year they arrived, they took out most of our small birds and were after the squirrels in the area. The birds are coming back now, but for a time we hardly had any. -<>- Revisiting... >From Our Friend JoeL :) Steve Martin Quotes - BrainyQuote http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/steve_martin.html Andrew Klavan - Traditional Christmas vs. Progressive Christmas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqk8NR7xVd4&feature=watch-vrec Here Come The Mummies! http://tinyurl.com/cxlpwzh --- ...TeeHee! Mummies are more Fun than Zombies! Thanks JoeL! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I'm writing a book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: 'I heard from this guy who told somebody...'" -Demetri Martin "Turns out that it's not the turkey that makes you sleepy - it's being drunk at 4:00 p.m. on Thursday." -Jimmy Kimmel "The good people at Butterball have been running a toll- free hotline for turkey-cooking tips since 1981. Every year the turkey talk line receives more than 100,000 phone calls, but sadly, they have not once been able to save a turkey's life." -Stephen Colbert "The TSA just released a list of Thanksgiving leftovers that you can carry on and others you have to check, saying you can bring turkey on the plane but not gravy. Which will explain things when you're at airport security and you see a bunch of people chugging their gravy next to a trash can." -Jimmy Fallon "Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." --Lily Tomlin "My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle." --Henny Youngman "Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices." --Benjamin Franklin "What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance." - Havelock Ellis "Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad." - Christina Rossetti "It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech." --Mark Twain "The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining." --John F. Kennedy "I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays." --Henny Youngman "I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life." --George Burns "An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous." --Henry Ford "Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't." --Mark Twain >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************