Merry Christmas Eve SMILES... :) Shangy!
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Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
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================
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================
_ _ ____
(--| | | (--/ ),_) ,_)
| | | _ ,_,_ | |_ ,_ ' , _|_,_,_, _ ,
__| | | (/_| | (_| | | || |/_)_| | | |(_|/_)___,
( |___, ,__| \____) |__, |__,
| _...._
\ _ / .::o:::::.
(\o/) .:::'''':o:.
--- / \ --- :o:_ _:::
>*< `:}_>()<_{:'
>0<@< @ `'//\\'` @
>>>@<<* @ # // \\ # @
>@>*<0<<< __#_#____/'____'\____#_#__
>*>>@<<<@<< [__________________________]
>@>>0<<<*<<@< |=_- .-/\ /\ /\ /\--. =_-|
>*>>0<<@<<<@<<< |-_= | \ \\ \\ \\ \ |-_=-|
>@>>*<<@<>*<<0<*< |_=-=| / // // // / |_=-_|
\*/ >0>>*<<@<>0><<*<@<< |=_- |`-'`-'`-'`-' |=_=-|
___\\U//___ >*>>@><0<<*>>@><*<0<< | =_-| o o |_==_|
|\\ | | \\| >@>>0<*<<0>>@<<0<<<*<@< |=_- | ! ( ! |=-_=|
| \\| | _(UU)_ >((*))_>0><*<0><@<<<0<*< _|-,-=| ! ). ! |-_-=|_
|\ \| || / //||.*.*.*.|>>@<<*<<@>><0<<@=-((=_| ! __(:')__ ! |=_==_-\
|\\_|_|&&_// ||*.*.*.*|_\\db//__ (\_/)-=))-|/^\=^=^^=^=/^\| _=-_-_\
""""|'.'.'.|~~|.*.*.*| ____|_ =('.')=// ,------------.
jgs |'.'.'.| ^^^^^^|____|>>>>>>| ( ~~~ )/ (((((((())))))))
~~~~~~~~ '""""`------' `w---w` `------------'
*~* May You Have A Blessed, Safe, And MERRY CHRISTMAS Celebration! :)
>Our Christmas Pages:
Christ's Bell!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bell.html
Christ's Life!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jesuslife.html
Bailey's Jesus!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bailey.html
Amazing Grace!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazinggrace.html
Come Adore Him!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comeadorehim.html
No Words Needed!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nowords.html
Disney Christmas!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneychristmas.html
Who Is This Jesus?-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jesus.html
Christmas With Pets!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmaspets.html
When Was Jesus Christ Born?-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/whenjesusborn.html
The Christmas Story!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/christmasstory.html
Santa Ho Ho Oh-No's!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/santa.html
Maxine On Christmas!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonchristmas.html
Maxine On Holidays!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineholidays.html
Redneck Christmas Tree!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redneck.html
Puppy Days Of Christmas!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/puppychristmas.html
Christmas Around The World!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasworld.html
Where's The Line To See Jesus?-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seejesus.html
Winter Wonderland And Life Lessons!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lessons.html
Christmas Animations:
For Angels, Candles, Doves
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs.html
For Crosses, Hearts, God, And Jesus
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_f-j.html
For Nativity Scenes and New Years
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_k-o.html
For Prayers, Santa, Sledding, and Snow
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html
For Words:Merry (Christmas) and Xmas (all other Christmas related)
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html
Christmas and Holiday cooking:
Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
-<>-
>-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This piping hot one is from our friends Linda Nd LouiseA.
It shows what fortitude and determination can do even when
one is struck down early on with Polio. Amazing! Check out
this one here...
\*/
__\\U//__
|\\ | | \\|
| \\| |\ \|()-()
|\ \| |\\ |/. .\
|\\ | | \\|\ Y /_
.--.| \\| |\ O__`&`__O
/____\\ \| |\\ |/ \
\~~~~/"[B]"""""()/^\()
jgs `--` [A][C]
Wrench Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wrenchart.html
---
...Simply awesome works! Thanks Ladies!
=======================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone:
Praise The Lord!
.-"""-.
An elderly lady was (_ _ \
well known for her ____ _ )= `) ) ,"";,
faith and for her ()___>===(()====( ( (//``;\\
boldness in talking ||~\__ `) ( ) ;||
about it. She would || `==\--`.-; ;||
stand on her front porch and \\ / |`-._, ;\\
shout "PRAISE THE LORD!" , `---;` / `._`\\
,/| >~~~~`._ `"`
Next door to her lived |(| / ' `""---.....___
an atheist who would (| | '. ' _ . ``\
get so angry at her \ '-. '- . _ /
proclamations that he would shout, \ '. - ._`\
"There ain't no Lord!" '. '. '-.. _/
jgs '._ - ._ _/
Hard times set in on the elderly lady `-..__ .-'`
and she prayed for God to send her some `"'""`
assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted
"PRAISE THE LORD! God I need food. I am having a hard time.
Please, Lord, send me some groceries."
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large
bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!" The neighbor
jumped from behind a bush and said, "HA...HA. I told you there
was no Lord. I bought those groceries. God didn't."
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and
saying, "PRAISE THE LORD!, He not only sent me groceries but HE
made the Devil pay for them."
PRAISE THE LORD!
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
December 24 is National Egg Nog Day
December 25 is National Pumpkin Pie Day
December 26 is National Whiners Day
December 27 is National Fruitcake Day
December 28 is Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day
December 29 is Pepper Pot Day
December 30 is Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute and
National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day
December 31 is Unlucky Day
=======================================================
_jgs_____________________________________
| ___ ___ _ _ _____ ___ .-""", |
| / __/ . \ \| |_ _| . \ /____, \ |
| \__ \ | ` | | | | | {_____}`{} |
| \___/_|_|_|\_| |_| |_|_| (/ . . \) |
| ___ _ ___ _ _ ___ {`-=^=-`} |
| / _/ | | . \ | | __/ { ` } |
| | (_ |__| | | |__ \ { } |
| _ \___\____|_|_|___/___/ { } |
| (_)_______ `-,-` |
| |/| NORTH | aka: "St. Nicholas" |
| |/| POLE | "Kris Kringle" |
| |/|"""""""` "Father Christmas" |
| |/| "Pere Noel" |
|_________________________________________|
>-->Christmas SMILES:
Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!
Submitted by Sean H., Farmington, N.M.
Will: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Bill: What?
Will: Anytime!
Submitted by Keith G., Forestdale, Mass.
Will: Where do snowmen keep their money?
Bill: Beats me.
Will: In a snow bank.
Submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.
Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
Submitted by Tim S., Merriam, Kan.
Chris: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chrissy: What?
Chris: Chill out.
Submitted by Christopher H., Fair Oaks, Calif.
Josh: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.
Submitted by Joshua S., Lafayette, Ind.
Zoey: What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
Johnny: I don’t know. What?
Zoey: A pineapple!
Submitted by Zoey Y., Flower Mound, Tex.
Moe: What are you going to give your little brother for
Christmas this year?
Joe: I haven’t decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.
Submitted by Suzan L. W., Spring Hill, Fla.
Pedro: What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents
and scratches up your furniture?
Ordep: Beats me. What?
Pedro: Santa Claws.
Submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.
Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?
Submitted by Ronesha M., Allen, Tex.
Santa: Knock, knock.
Elf: Who’s there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.
Submitted by Joe R., Saint Charles, Mo.
Luke: What do elves do after school?
Jeffrey: I don’t know. What?
Luke: Their gnome work!
Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.
Joe: What nationality is Santa Claus?
Moe: What?
Joe: North Polish.
Submitted by Joe B., Huntersville, N.C.
Amanda: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
Robert: What?
Amanda: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
Submitted by Amanda M., Springfield, Mo.
Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
Submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.
When asked about his job, Frosty always replies,
"There’s no business like snow business."
Submitted by Doug C., Gahanna, Ohio
Warped Wiseman wonders: "Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as
'subordinate clauses'?"
Submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.
Josh: Knock, knock!
Samantha: Who’s there?
Josh: Dexter.
Samantha: Dexter, who?
Josh: Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
Submitted by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio
Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Brandon: I give up.
Trey: Frostbite.
Submitted by Trey D., Ringgold, Ga.
From:
http://boyslife.org/features/24222/25-days-of-funny-christmas-jokes/
-<>-
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<_\__, <_\__, <_\__, <_\__, __,~~.(`>|-(___)/ ,_)
(_ ff ~(_ ff ~(_ ff ~(_ ff ~~~@ )\/_;-"`` |
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(___)~~(___)~~(___)~~(___)~~~\\_/_______\_//
jgs // >> // >> // >> // >> `'---------'`
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Crispies.
Contributed by: Cath Sumner
What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Sandy Claws.
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood.
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red.
He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his
wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her
and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even
looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It
must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the
Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care.
They'd been worn all week and needed the air.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q: What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
A: A puddle!
Q: Where do reindeer go to dance?
A: Christmas balls!
Q: If Frosty the Snowman married a vampire,what would they name their child?
A: Frostbite!!
Contributed by: Cassie Hauser
Q: What's red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A: A sad candy cane!
Contributed by: Laura Sylvester
Q: What did Mary Poppins want from Santa?
A: Supercalifragilisticexpialisnowshoes!
Contributed by: Jemima
Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A: A mince spy!
Contributed by: Tara Wade
Q: What Christmas song is hidden in the alphabet:
A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z?
A: Noel (No "L")
Contributed by: Abby and Alessandra
From:
http://xmasfun.com/Jokes.aspx
===========================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
_...
o_.-"` `\
.--. _ `'-._.-'""-; _
.' \`_\_ {_.-a"a-} _ / \
_/ .-' '. {c-._o_.){\|` |
(@`-._ / \{ ^ } \\ _/
`~\ '-._ /'. } \} .-.
|>:< '-.__/ '._,} \_/ / ())
| >:< `'---. ____'-.|(`"`
\ >:< \\_\\_\ | ;
\ \\-{}-\/ \
\ '._\\' /)
'. /(
`-._ _____ _ _____ __.'\ \
/ \ / \ / \ \ \
jgs _.'/^\'._.'/^\'._.'/^\'.__) \
,==' `---` '---' '---' )
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""`
>Bank Software
Working at the call center of a major bank, I deal with customer
complaints. A very irate customer called one day to declare, "My new
computer banking software doesn't work."
While trying to determine the problem, I eventually realized the
software was working perfectly. I began to explain this when the
customer interrupted me, saying, "But money isn't coming out of the
printer!"
-<>-
>Engine Noise
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around
and returned to the gate. After waiting for an hour, it finally took
off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a strange noise he heard in the engine," the
attendant explained.
"Oh, and it took a while to fix it," said the passenger.
"Not exactly," was the reply. "It just took us a bit to find a deaf
pilot."
-<>-
>Running Away From Home
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled
against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his
piggy bank and proudly announced, "I'm running away from home!"
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. "What if you
get hungry?" he asked.
"Then I'll come home and eat!" bravely declared the child.
"And what if you run out of money?"
"I will come home and get some!" readily replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt, "What if your clothes get dirty?"
-<>-
>Steak Bone
A steak fanatic, my father always picks out cuts that include a bone
because he loves to nibble on it.
One night Father and I were finishing our dinners at a steakhouse, and
I could tell he wanted to start gnawing on the bone. But he couldn't
bear to do so in public.
"Excuse me," he said, calling the waitress over, "would you please wrap
this bone up for my dog?" He has never owned a dog in his life, but the
white lie seemed a tactful solution to his dilemma.
A few minutes later the waitress returned to our table. "Here's your
bone sir," she said, handing over a large package. "And while I was in
the kitchen, I grabbed a few more out of the scrap bucket."
-<>-
>Telling Time
I was teaching my First Grade class to tell time using a
conventional-style analog clock.
"We'll be learning about the hour hand and the minute hand," I
explained.
One of the students interrupted and said, "I don't need to learn on
that kind of clock. My dad bought me this digital watch, and right now
it's ten minutes to 38."
=========================================================
>-->From our Friend Geniann :)
.-""""""""""-.
/ `\
/ .--.---.-.-.--.-;.
; { ' . ' . ' . '}
| {__'_,__.__'__.__'_}
| / _ _ \
| ; / \ / \ ;
| | |0| |0| |
\ | \_/ \_/ |
.-'\; \ / ;
|. ' \ '. .' /
\ ` / '. '-.__.-' .'
'--' '-._ _.-'
jgs ''''
>Smiles
As a senior at St. Cloud State University in Minnesota, I often engage
women psychology majors in heated discussions about male-female
relationships. Once, my friend Shelly and I got into a hot debate about
whether men or women make the larger sacrifice of their respective
gender characteristics when they get married. To my surprise, Shelly
agreed with me that men give up far more than women. "You're right,
Steve," she said. "Men generally give up doing their cleaning, their
cooking, their grocery shopping, their laundry."
-------
While on a road trip, an elderly couple
stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
After finishing their meal, they left
the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman
unknowingly left her glasses on the table,
and she didn't miss them until they had been
driving for about forty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they
had to travel quite a distance before they
could find a place to turn around, in order to
return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the
classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained,
and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire
return drive. The more he chided her, the more
agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a
single minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to
retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,
"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat
and the credit card."
This coming week is National Senior Mental Health Week.
You can do YOUR part by remembering to contact at least
one unstable Senior to show you care..
I have now done MY part.
-------
Yuletide Love Story
A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed. As
the wife walked through the mall she was surprised when she looked...
around to find her husband was nowhere to be seen. She became so
worried she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was. In a
quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jeweler's we went into about
five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace we
couldn't afford, and I told you I would get it for you one day?" The
wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I do remember that
shop." He replied, "Well, I'm in the bar next door."
-------
A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning.
Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind
him holding A frying pan in hand. Man: "What was that for?" Wife: "Why
do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with "Daisy" written on
it?" Man: "Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to
the horse races? Daisy was the name of the horse I bet on." The wife
was satisfied, and apologized for bonking him. Three days later he is
again sitting reading the paper when once again he is bonked on the
head. Man: "What's that for this time?" Wife: "Your horse called."
-------
The wedding date was set and the grooms three pals- a carpenter, an
electrician, and a dentist- were deciding what pranks to play on the
couple on their wedding night. The carpenter decided that he would saw
the slats off their bed. The electrician figured that wiring the bed
with alternating current would give them a few chuckles. The dentist
would not tell what he had done, but wore a sly grin and swore that it
would be memorable. The wedding and reception went as planned. A few
days later, each of the groom's three friends received a letter saying
the following: "Dear friends, we did not mind the bed slats being
sawed. The electric shock was only a minor setback but I swear, I am
going to kill the the joker that put Novocain in the K-Y Jelly!"
-------
I have changed the way I react to telemarketers.
My phone service blocks all the "Unknown callers",
but still, the telemarketers get thru. I used to look
down at caller id and if it said, "out of area" or some
other such unrecogizable number, I used to just let it ring.
Unfortunately, they would just keep calling till someone answered.
But then I discovered a new form of entertainment. Talking to
telemarketers, its an activity perfect for a old plugger such as me.
since it does offer a bit of highlight to your day when you have
absolutely nothing better to do. Anyways, I got a call from one
of those companies the other day offering to send me one of them
medical alert thingies. u know, "I've fallen and I can't get up?"
The caller said I would be glad I had it when I needed to make a call
for help. I agreed. So I gave the fellow a fake credit card number and
told him to mail it to my home address...
" 1600 Pennsylvania ave Washington DC."
He never 'batted an eye'. ok, didn't question it, how's that.
What the hell, I figure my good friend Barry can use all the help he
can get.
But the main conclusion is that
1. intelligence is not required to be a telemarketer,
2. neither is it necessary to have intelligence to talk to one.
which is also another reason it makes for a good pastime for an old
plugger such as me
-------
>Santa is probably a woman because:
1. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
2. Men would feel their masculinity threatened being seen with all
those elves.
3. Rather than pulling the sleigh, the reindeer would be decking the
walls and the freezer would be full.
4. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in
jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
5. Men don't plan ahead, their idea of gift shopping is running out the
night before and buying whatever is left, eg. bamboo steamer, chia pet.
6. Men can't decently pack a bag.
7. Men aren't interested in stockings unless a woman is wearing them.
8. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
---
...LOL! Thanks Geniann!
Of Course we all know Santa is patterned after a man:
Saint Nicholas (Greek: ????? ????????, Hagios Nikólaos, Latin: Sanctus
Nicolaus); (15 March 270 – 6 December 343), also called Nikolaos
of Myra, was a historic 4th-century Christian saint and Greek Bishop
of Myra (Demre, part of modern-day Turkey) in Lycia. Because of the
many miracles attributed to his intercession, he is also known as
Nikolaos the Wonderworker.
Read More:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas
===================================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From BizarreNews:
We have had some great bizarre Christmas stories in the past,
and every December, when I think it is finally going to be
a nice, quiet end to the year, the world of bizarre gives
me another whopper, like this story of an herbally enhanced
Santa.
This Oklahoma resident was dreaming of a green Christmas but
ended up spending a bit of time behind bars after a special
task force in Pottawatomie County found $600,000 worth of
marijuana stashed in his mobile home.
Authorities say 48-year-old Floyd Wren showed up in the
middle of the sting operation and told deputies it was simply
a misunderstanding.
Apparently Floyd never learned that simply denying everything
only works on women.
He allegedly admitted to being a "bad Santa" and growing the
weed for Christmas presents.
In fact, Wren said he had been out delivering the merry
marijuana and had just come back to restock.
The Pottawatomie County Sheriff said, "My deputies said he
was the 'Green Santa.' He was out delivering marijuana
Christmas gifts."
Wren was arrested and charged with cultivation, possession
and distribution of marijuana. The task force also seized
guns and hundreds of dollars in cash.
Authorities say they plan to burn the weed to make sure all
of it is destroyed. Most likely in thousands of small,
individual fires.
*-- Police: Man attacked mother in Christmas ornament dispute --*
CASCO TOWNSHIP, Mich. - Authorities in Michigan said they
arrested a man accused of repeatedly punching his mother
in the face because he was angry about a Christmas
ornament. The Allegan County Sheriff's Office said deputies
responded to a 911 call from a Casco Township home early
Saturday and determined Lewis Atwood, 33, had attacked his
mother because their Christmas tree had an ornament with
his brother's name but didn't have one bearing his own
name, WZZM-TV, Grand Rapids, Mich., reported Thursday. "He
had punched his mother four or five times, she suffered a
bloody nose, had a cut lip," sheriff's Capt. Frank Baker
said. "They were decorating the Christmas tree, he had
found that there was only an ornament with his brother's
name and not one with his on it, which upset him." Baker
said Atwood was drunk at the time of the incident, which
was witnessed by his girlfriend and his brother. Atwood
was charged with misdemeanor domestic assault. His mother
suffered only minor injuries, the sheriff's office said.
*-- Santas brawl on New York street corner --*
NEW YORK - New York police confirmed officers were alerted
to a weekend brawl in which eight to 10 Santas duked it
out on a snowy city sidewalk. Police said a caller about
8:20 p.m. Saturday reported a street fight involving
several men in Santa Claus costumes during SantaCon, an
international bar crawl that took place in hundreds of
cities, CNN reported Monday. The not-so-jolly old elves
had left by the time officers arrived and there were no
assault complaints linked to the incident, which was
partially caught on video, police Sgt. Lee Jones said.
Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said Friday officials had
no plan to attempt to stop SantaCon despite problems with
drunken rowdiness in previous years. "It's what makes
New York New York," he said. "There has been some rowdy
activity by a small handful of people." SantaCon NYC
organizers said online they were working to make future
events more jolly. "SantaCon has had growing pains,"
the organizers wrote on the event's website. "With a
little elbow-grease from the elves, a little patience
from the community, and just a pinch of holiday magic,
SantaCon can spread joy."
*-- Baby born into mother's sweatpants on highway --*
HAMIOTA, Manitoba - A Manitoba woman said her son was born
into her pant leg while she and her fiance were attempting
to make the hour and a half drive to the hospital. Aimee
Renard, 24, said she and her fiance, Jay Goleski, were
visiting her father in Hamiota, Manitoba, and staff at
the nearby Hamiota health center told her to make the
drive to a hospital in Brandon when her water broke, the
Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported Tuesday. However,
Renard said it was only about 40 minutes before baby
Jaxyn insisted on entering the world. "I just started
taking deep breaths and as time went on, it was like, OK,
the baby's head is there. So like I have to push," Renard
said. "And [Jay's] like, 'no don't.' I told him to stop
the truck. And as he was stopping the truck, I pushed out
the baby." Renard said she felt the infant slip into the
leg of her sweatpants and the parents then heard a cry.
"It was kind of terrifying," Renard said. "But it was
pretty exciting, I guess. I just pulled down my pants a
little bit. And took him out. And the cord was wrapped
around his neck. So Jay unwrapped the cord from his neck."
An ambulance soon arrived to take the mother and newborn
the rest of the way to the hospital, where they were said
to be doing well.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
____
;` `'-._
/ \ /\
/` \ | ;
/ \ | |
/ `\ | |
/ \_ / |
; / `\ |
,|_ __ \__/ |
_\_o/_( |_
/`"=/\==""=="=="=="=="`\
| )/ |
\ /
/';=""==""==""==""==";`\
| /` /~\ /~\ `\ |
| \ _ \o/ \o/ _ / |
\ ; (_) __ (_) ; /
/ |\_.-""(__)""-._/| \
| \ /\ / |
/ '.___.'__'.___.' \
| \/ |
| |
\ /
jgs | |
\ /
'. .'
'-.__ __.-'
'---'--'---'
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a
pole which she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and
always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked
pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home
only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and
miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to
the woman one day by the stream.
'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to
leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your
side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?'
'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted
flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk
back, you water them.'
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to
decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty
to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we
each have that make our lives together so very interesting and
rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the
good in them.
So, to all of my cracked pot friends, have a great day and remember to
smell the flowers on your side of the path!
---
...TeeHee! Good enough! Thanks LouiseA!
============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_____________,--,
| | | | | | |/ .-.\ HANG IN THERE
|_|_|_|_|_|_/ / `. SANTA
|_|__|__|_; | \
|___|__|_/| | .'`}
|_|__|__/ | | .'.'`\
|__|__|/ ; ; / / \.-"-.
||__|_; \ \ || /`___. \
|_|___/\ /;.`,\\ {_'___.;{}
|__|_/ `;`__|`-.;| |C` e e`\
|___`L \__|__|__| | `'-o-' }
||___|\__)___|__||__|\ ^ /`\
|__|__|__|__|__|_{___}'.__.`\_.'}
||___|__|__|__|__;\_)-'`\ {_.-;
|__|__|__|__|__|/` (`\__/ '-'
|_|___|__|__/` |
-jgs---|__|___|__/` \-------------------
-.__.-.|___|___;` |.__.-.__.-.__.-.__
| | || | | | |
-' '---' '---' \ /-' '---' '---' '--
| | '. .' | | | |
'---' '---' '---' `-===-'`--' '---' '---' '---'
| | | | | | | |
-' '---' '---' '---' '---' '---' '---' '---' '--
| | | | | | | |
'---' '---' '---' '---' '---' '---' '---' '---'
Holiday Eating Tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,
if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where
they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine
single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer
than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time
of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000
calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy
it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think.
It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole
point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on.
Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with
gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free.
Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying
a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size
of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have
as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and
one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have
more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with
the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost.
I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave
the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention.
-<>-
Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one
of the three most stressful situations in an on-going
relationship? (The other two danger zones are teaching
your mate to drive and wallpapering. Don't EVEN think of
going there!) So I now present for you....
*Things NOT To Say When Hanging The Christmas Lights*
--"You've got two red lights right next to each other.
You're supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow,
red, red, green, blue..."
--"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."
--"What on earth do you do to these lights when you put
them away every year? Tie them in knots?"
--"Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going
to fry that sucker."
--"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all.
Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're
worse than your father."
--"Give me that!!"
--"You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The
electric pluggee thing should be down here at the bottom,
not up at the top."
--"I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm
done!"
--"You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we
agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year?"
--"Have you been drinking?!!?"
--"Okaaay! Looks like we're *finally* done here now. Not
too shabby huh? Hey....wait a minute, where's the cat?"
-<>-
I bet it was really tough being an Apostle of Jesus. What
if you wanted a day off?
You ring up Jesus and say, "Jesus, I'm sick today, running
a little fever and feeling congested so I won't be able to
make it to today's sermon. What...? Say that again...? I'm
healed?"
-<>-
It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco.
The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when
he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the
figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a
little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure
of the little infant, Jesus.
So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get
Him, my little friend?"
The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."
"And why did you take him?"
The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed
to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me
a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the
block in it."
-<>-
A family had moved to Seattle from Texas, and each of them
missed their old home. That December, when they went to pick
up their first-grade son from school, his teacher told them
about a conversation she overheard.
One boy said, "We're Catholic, and we are going to Christmas
Mass."
"Were Jewish," said another child. "And we're going to have
a Hanukkah celebration.
"Madison chimed in, "We're Texans, and were going to have a
barbecue."
-<>-
At first sight we knew it was the perfect Christmas tree.
Tall and full, with no bare spots. Even our grown children
were impressed.
"Wow," said my son, "if you didn't know it was real, it
could easily pass as artificial."
=========================================================
>-->From AndyChaps:
, ,
/\\ / \
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/ |"""-, _> `'-,'(_.-' _<
, | ' '/::. `\ >_.--(.. ) .=;`
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`/ / ::' / C ..\ * *
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jgs \ \ \ \ / .--'\ \ .-'` | `. .-' .' |
\ \ \ \ / / \,\ \ \ \`. `-.__..--' _.-' .'
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`""{_} /_ / |`= `" `-.( ,__/.
`""""`"` '^' ="`-` `"`
Andy Says... Just Think About This!
>** When I say, "I am a Christian" **
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I was lost"
That's why I chose this way.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I speak His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.
Share this with somebody who already has this understanding, as
reinforcement. But more importantly, share this with those who do not
have a clear understanding of what it means to be a Christian, so that
the myth that Christians think they are "perfect" or "better than
others" can be dispelled!!
++++++++++++++++++++
> ** My Last Donation **
Give my eyes to someone who sees inner beauty as well as outer
beauty. Give my heart to someone who will fill it with compassion for
others. Give my other organs to help stop suffering. Give my
forgiveness to anyone that wronged me. Forget any disagreements or
arguments we may have had for we're only human. Remember the real
love we shared and the happiness and joy that filled our lives.
Remember how we cried with laughter. Remember to love one another.
Remember to be happy. Remember God loves you.
>From "A treasure of special moments, love and encouragement." By
Marilyn Barker-Smith
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
** Wrapping Presents With A Cat **
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and
close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors,
labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping
strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and
tore paper.
15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the
present came out of.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now
don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and
retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent
sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky
tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as
neat as possible.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's
enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of
losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is
right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable
room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing
materials.
30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door
and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the
small area of the toilet, but try your best!)
32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully
sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon
and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating
yourself on making good of a bad job.
34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious
conclusion.
36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and
retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone
and the door is locked.
38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face,
as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly
wrapped present.
39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap
the darn thing for you.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Book Sculpture Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bookart.html
BiBi's Rescue
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogrescue.html
God's Little Love Notes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/notes.html
Rules For US Citizens
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rules.html
Chalk Art 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart5.html
House Dust Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dusthouse.html
Crop Circles 2009
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mystery2.html
Eagle Vs Swan
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagleswan.html
Jellyfish Lake
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jellyfish.html
IRONIC - Isn't It?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony.html
Transparent Butterfly
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/butterfly.html
World Of Peacocks
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peacock.html
God's Paintings 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gpaints2.html
Northern Lights Over Teepees
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teepees.html
Junkyard Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/junkart.html
Best Parents
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestparents.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Geniann :)
M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S to you !
Enjoy . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ki8EcnVbd-Q
Talented little girl!
http://www.wimp.com/girlleaves/
Santa; Please send me one for Christmas!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/2150iFXF5Vc?rel=0
This is Christmas.
This is really what Christmas is all about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Vnt7euRF5Pg&vq=medium
And who says that a government entity cannot plan "Christian"
music at CHRISTmas -- in semi-official government property?
The USAF Band Holiday Flash Mob at the National Air and Space
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIoSga7tZPg
---
...Love these Flash Mobs Music! Thank you Geniann!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseA :)
The word “Christmas” means “Mass of Christ,” later shortened to
“Christ-Mass.”
The even shorter form “Xmas” – first used in Europe in the 1500s – is
derived from the Greek alphabet,
in which X is the first letter of Christ’s name: Xristos, therefore
“X-Mass.”
Today we know that Christ was not born on the 25th of December.
The date was chosen to coincide with the pagan Roman celebrations
honoring Saturnus (the harvest god) and Mithras (the ancient god of
light), a form of sun worship.
These celebrations came on or just after the winter solstice, the
shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere, to announce that
winter is not forever, that life continues, and an invitation to stay
in good spirit.
But there’s much more to the fascinating history of Christmas!
Where did the Christmas tree originate, why are Christmas candles
important, etc.?
The answers are all here:
http://didyouknow.org/christmas/
Ho-Ho-Ho - just click and go.
---
...Thank You LouiseA
I think we can celebrate Jesus Birthday any day of the year we want
and of course every day of the year if we so choose. It's not the day
so much as the meaning - we celebrate His birth because without Him
we would be dead in our sins. With Him, we have life and can rejoyce!
-<>-
A Charlie Brown Christmas is one of my favorite holiday movies! It
never loses its charm even after all these years. That's why everyone
was overjoyed when these folks reenacted the iconic dance scene in the
middle of New York City.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8bB7obyuuY8
Do you remember when Linus explained the true meaning of Christmas?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKk9rv2hUfA&feature=player_embedded
Did you know that in 1965 the crew of the Gemini 6 spacecraft
encountered an unidentified flying object? It was a sleigh, flying high
above the earth, pulled by eight tiny reindeer! Okay, maybe not, but
they did perform "Jingle Bells": the first ever song performed in space.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HqfIEQKnkJU
The Christmas Scale.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNDtHdG5mVk
Every year, The Christmas Light Show in Wall, New Jersey gets bigger
and bigger. Last year's event was attended by 10,000 people who donated
more than $9,000 to Challenged Youth Sports in conjunction with the
folks who put on this insane light show. This year's looks like it's
way bigger!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzqFWdutMNU&feature=player_embedded
You better watch out, elves! You could be out of a job. If these
penguin helpers from South Korea catch on at the North Pole, elves will
definitely be begging for work elsewhere. These penguins dressed as
Santa Claus took over an amusement park in the cutest way possible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=lfUHeUpy6XQ
Did you hear? The traditional family Christmas Card is now the family
Christmas Video. And this one's gone viral! The Bock Family stole the
show with their Miley Cyrus parody. Move over Partridge family!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msi_CtC6j6Q&feature=player_embedded
---
...Love it! Great ones! Thanks LouiseA!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Fran :)
Legend Of The Holly
http://www.mamarocks.com/legend_of_the_holly.htm
Say Merry Christmas - Vocal Carrie Rinderer and the American
Christian Life United (ACLU) choir... - YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ln01p1M2cH0
Reason For The Season
http://www.mamarocks.com/reason_for_the_season.htm
Candy Cane Lane
http://www.mamarocks.com/candy_cane_lane.htm
A Lot Like Christmas
http://www.mamarocks.com/a_lot_like_christmas.htm
My Christmas Eve
http://www.youtube.com/embed/WxjZB5S_g7s?rel=0
---
...Sweet! Wonderful Links! Thanks Fran!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Melody :)
Christmas
http://tinyurl.com/qbqcxfq
Christmas
http://www.greatdanepro.com/Christmas/index.htm
Christmas's Funniest Home Videos
http://tinyurl.com/o7l3wm7
---
...LOL! Thanks Melody!
Plastic Christmas
http://tinyurl.com/nvhyqe4
---
...awww, A good reminder! We Celebrate Jesus Birthday!
Thanks Melody!
=========================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Every year I do this during the holidays. This is the day
I go into Central Park and chop down my Christmas tree."
--Dave Letterman
"Are you all getting your Christmas shopping done? I crossed
three people off my gift list today. I didn't get them any-
thing, I just crossed them off." --Jay Leno
"There are only a few days left until Christmas. I tell
you, it's really amazing how popular baby Jesus was able
to become without his mother posting a single picture of
him on Facebook." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions
of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper, will
utter those heartfelt words, 'Is this all I got?'"
--Kelsey Grammer on FRASIER
"Last week, the city of Boston sparked controversy when it
renamed the giant spruce tree in Boston Common a holiday tree
instead of a Christmas tree. Also, the city's nativity scene
will now be referred to as the Holiday Homeless Family."
--Tina Fey
"Here's a holiday shopping tip. Here's what I do and it
works pretty good. When you're buying your Christmas tree,
be sure to bring along a pair of scissors, so when you
find the perfect tree, you can just cut that little tag
off that says "sold". --Jay Leno
"I failed my driver's test. The guy asked me, "What do you
do at a red light?" I said, "I don't know, look around,
listen to the radio"
--Bill Braudis
"I filled out a rental application that asked, 'Do you own
any liquid-filled furniture?' Couldn't they just have said
'waterbed'? How many other forms of liquid-filled furniture
are there? 'Yeah, I have a beer couch, will that be a
problem?'" --Lisa Goich
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you
should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid
with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is
absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
--P. J. O'Rourke
| | . , |_ . ,_ \_/ _,_, |__) _ _ _ _ / \,_
|_|_|_|_/_)| |_|_| |_\_| | (_) |_|_ | _(/_(_|_(__(/_ \__/| |_
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(_/ (_/() \_) __/(_/|\();__\_)` \_)
` (_/ \_)`-._);
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
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http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
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-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
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-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
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-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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