Merry Christmas SMILES ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) _ )\_ _,-, _ _.---.._) ( _) ( .-' `. ___`)8o) (` _.' _.-:::::::o()8-` _ / .::::::::::::::\ >\_ __ _/ , .;:::::-;""))`_\::| _____):<__)\__ / \;::::" _ ,%"'%/ _.-' _.'):(_);( .| \ \::| ,%"' ,a'_|.._ _.-' _.' .-\O_);_(' | /`-. `.|:; %`,a' ,_ \/|"".-' .'__.'o8()8_(' | | \ `._ _) _.' | |""""""""| |"""")O""| |_|_ \_ \ \`-.__.'|\` /`| | | /:( | (%%%%\ `. / \ .'_`---' | | | ):( | |)%%%%| `._ / `"--' `-' | | | \(` | /%%%%%| ) .' | | | ` | .|%%%%%/ /.' `. |--------|__|--------|' .\%%%/ .;;;. `. .'|___,-._.%%%%\_______|.'| |"" ;:::::; `-.__ _.' ..._/%%|/%%%%%| | | | ;:::::; .'`.`````` ,;::::%%%%%%%%%%| _ _ | |/ |`:::' \ .-`::::::\%%%%%%%%| (_><_)| / | .'`._.'`. `:::::`%%%%%%/ _/\ | / \ .-' \:::::\%%%'|______\_|/ \ \:::::;"' `-. `._ \:::;` _)_ `. /`"' / O \ `-. .-' |~__| hjw `. _.-' |__x| `-._____.--' Well so far, I am feeling like I am living with good old Saint Nick at the North Pole! My goodness! Yesterday we had wind gusts to 45 mph and wind chills of minus 27 degrees F. Nasty weather - like the cartoon would say - not fit for man nor beast! It is good to stay in where it is warm and dry and smile at some jokes as the wind throws icicles at the windows from off of the trees! Today is not so bad as yesterday! I hope and pray all of you are warm and secure today although I know last night they said many were still without power and might still be even without power until Wednesday! Nasty winter! May God Bless us and give us ALL A Most MERRY CHRISTMAS! ==================================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: ___________________________ / _________________________ \ |/----, \| British Journalistic Blunders ||NEWS| || ||----' .-""-. || || / \ \ || "Julian Dicks (West Ham United) || | /`-._| || is everywhere. It's like they've || |/ . . | || got eleven Dicks on the field." || ( _\ ) || (Metro Radio Sports Commentary) || |\ = | || || /\ \_._/ || Listener: "My most embarrassing || /\_\___//\ || moment was when my artificial leg || /` \ \| `\ || fell off at the altar on my |\____/_____|__;_____|__BBC/| wedding day." Simon Fanshawe: \___________________________/ "How awful! Do you still have an |:::::::::::::::::::| artificial leg?" (Talk Radio) |:::::::::::::::::::| |::():():::::():()::| Interviewer: "So did you see which |:::::::::::::::::::| train crashed into which train __|jgs::::::::::::::::|__ first?" 15-year-old: "No, they / \ both ran into each other at the '===========================' same time." (BBC Radio 4) Presenter (to paleontologist):"So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say,an elephant?" Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we'd get a sort of half- mammoth. Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?" Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks." (GLR) Kilroy-Silk: "Did you mean to _.-~"~-. get pregnant?" ;`a) ) `\ Girl: "No. It was a cock-up." \-./_ / |~=-=--. `-._)_ | / ". Grand National winning jockey _ //` `| `"~` \ Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an \'-'/ .--' / / |\ anti-climax after that!" `~` / ____/\ | / `" Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave __/__/ | |`-...-\ | the horse a wonderful ride, / \ | | |`\ | everyone saw that." (BBC) jgs |_____| /__| /__/__| Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't it?" Expert: "Er, yes." (Channel 4 News) "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other." (John Sleightholme - BBC1) "If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal." (Jimmy Hill - BBC) "Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different names." (Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3) =================================================================== * * * * * .--. \/ \/ \/ \/ ./ /=* \/ \/ * * ... (_____) \ ^ ^/ \ \_((^o^))-. * (o)(O)--)--------\. \ ( ) \ \._. | | ||================((~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~))| ( ) | \ \__/ ,| \. * * * * * * ./ (~~~~~~~~~~) \ * ||^||\.____./|| | \___________/ ~||~~~~|~'\____/ || || || || A || || || | jurcy * <> <> <> <> (___||____||_____) ((~~~~~| * +----------------- Bizarre Christmas Traditions --------------+ In Italy they have no Christmas trees. Instead they decorate small wooden pyramids with fruit. Ukranians decorate their trees with an artificial spider and matching web. A spider web found on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck. The citizens of Caracas, Venezuela block off the streets on Christmas eve so that people can roller-skate to God's house. It is a British Christmas tradition that a wish made while mixing the Christmas pudding will come true only if the ingredients are stirred in a clockwise direction. A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard. Sending red Christmas cards to anyone in Japan constitutes bad etiquette, since funeral notices there are customarily printed in red. In Norway on Christmas Eve, all the brooms in the house are hidden because long ago it was believed that witches and mischievous spirits came out on Christmas Eve and would steal their brooms for riding. +----------- More Bizarre Christmas Traditions ------------+ It is a British Christmas tradition that a wish made while mixing the Christmas pudding will come true only if the ingredients are stirred in a clockwise direction. A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard. Sending red Christmas cards to anyone in Japan constitutes bad etiquette, since funeral notices there are customarily printed in red. In Norway on Christmas Eve, all the brooms in the house are hidden because long ago it was believed that witches and mischievous spirits came out on Christmas Eve and would steal their brooms for riding. ============================================================ _..__ M E R R Y X - M A S .-" `. .-' `. E V E R Y B O D Y .' \ `-. / `. \ ! ! ! ! ! / _...._ \ \ : _.-"" o o ""-._ ; ; ;-" .__. "-: : : __.--.--.--.__ ; ; : .-" / \/ \ "-. ; : :.- : ,-. ; -.; ; ; < ; ;o: O : > : ; `._ : `-' ; _.' : / \ /\ / \ \ : \ `-+' `+-' / ;. `-; `-'; `. / \ .' : `--' : `: ;' ; ; : ; : : \ / : ; `-..-' \ / : . `-; ; ;--' \ / ; :-' , : `--: ;`-' bug \ / `. .' `. / `-'\ .' \ .' `./ `-' >-->A Classic From Our Friend Tony In Australia :) >Lest We Forget (It wasn't me though) Last week I was in Melbourne attending a conference. While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several people behind me beginning to clap and cheer. I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest acts of patriotism I have ever seen. Moving through the terminal was a group of soldiers in their uniforms, as they began heading to their gate everyone (well almost everyone) was abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering. When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and cheered for, it hit me. I'm not alone. I'm not the only red blooded Australian who still loves this country and supports our troops and their families. Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these young unsung heroes who are putting their lives on the line everyday for us so we can go to school, work, and enjoy our home without fear or reprisal. Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our service men and women a young girl, not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran up to one of the male soldiers. He knelt down and said 'hi,' the little girl then asked him if hewould give something to her daddy for her. The young soldier didn't look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did she want to give to her daddy. Suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek. The mother of the little girl, who said her daughters name was Courtney, told the young soldier that her husband was a Corporal and had been in Afghanistan for 5 months now. As the mum was explaining how much her daughter, Courtney, missed her father, the young soldier began to tear up. When this temporarily single mum was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second. Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military looking walkie-talkie. They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it. After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to Courtney, bent down and said this to her, 'I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give this to you.' He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a Kiss on the cheek. He finished by saying 'Your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you more than anything and he is coming home very soon.' The mum at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young soldier stood to his feet he saluted Courtney and her mum. I was standing no more than 6 feet away as this entire event unfolded. As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people resumed their applause. As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry eyes, including my own. That young soldier in one last act of moment turned around and blew a kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek. We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it's good to be an Australian. RED FRIDAYS Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Australian's who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority'. We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for Country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions. Many Australian's, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of Australia supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every Australian who supports our men and women afar will wear something red. By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make Australia on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football team If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, It will not be long before Australia is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on. The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is...'We need your support and your prayers'. Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday. IF YOU AGREE -- THEN SEND THIS ON IF YOU COULD NOT CARE LESS THEN HIT THE DELETE BUTTON. IT IS YOUR CHOICE. THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED---- SO WEAR RED! --- Lest we Forget. --- ...An Excellent One - Thank You Tony! God Bless Our Troops! ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend Don :) >Area codes-important ABOUT AREA CODE We actually received a call last week from the 809 area code. The woman said 'Hey, this is Karen. Sorry I missed you--get back to us quickly. I Have something important to tell you.' Then she repeated a \ phone number beginning with 809 . 'We didn't respond'. Then this week, we received the following e-mail: Subject: DON'T DIAL AREA CODE 809 , 284 AND 876 THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION PROVIDED TO US BY AT&T. DON'T DIAL AREA CODE 809 This one is being distributed all over the US . This is pretty scary, especially given the way they try to get you to call. Be sure you read this and pass it on. They get you to call by telling you that it is information about a family member who has been ill or to tell you someone has-been arrested, died, or to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc. In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so many new area codes these days, people unknowingly return these calls. If you call from the US , you will apparently be charged $2425 per-minute. Or, you'll get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as possible to increase the charges. Unfortunately, when you get your phone bill, you'll often be charged more than $24,100.00 WHY IT WORKS : The 809 area code is located in the Dominican Republic .. They are not regulated by the US laws. The charges afterwards can become a real nightmare. That's because you did actually make the call. If you complain, both your local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company. You'll end up dealing with a foreign company that argues they have done nothing wrong. Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of this scam Sandi Van Handel AT&T Field Service Manager (920)687-904 Additional information on these area codes can be found from ATT at: http://www.consumeratt.com/consumertips/areacode.html --- ...If I remember right, this one has been around for a while but has good info for us to heed. Thanks Don! ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) | | ,---------, K. .H |r'''|'''Y| / *'.* \ || | || / \ ||===|===|| /.- -. \ || | || / |-| _/-/ \ |L.__|__.J| / \)_) (_() \ '---------' _________________________ -__LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL__- \|#/#############\#|/ \|##/ \##|/ \|#| ) ) ( ) ) |#|/ \|#| ( ( ()(( |#|/ \|#| /\__\_(- |#|/ _____________\|#| _(\/L/(\/)_ |#|/_____________ \|#|-.-.-.-.-.-.-|#|/ Pr59 ''' ''' ,_,_,_,_,_,_,_, / .-. .-. \ / .-' '-' '-. \ /-' .-' '-. '-\ +'+'+'+'+'+'+'+'+'+'+ >A ~Sermon~With No `Spoken Words` A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending Services regularly, Stopped going. After a few weeks, the preacher Decided to visit him. It was a very chilly evening. The preacher found the man at home alone, The man was Sitting before a blazing Fire. Guessing the reason for his preachers Visit. The man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the Fireplace and waited. The preacher made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave Silence. He contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning Logs. After some minutes, the preacher took the fire tongs, Carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one Side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still Silent. The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone Ember's' flame flickered and diminished, There was but a momentary glow, And then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and dead. Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. The preacher Glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly Stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember, and placed it back in the Middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow, once more with the Light and warmth of the burning coals around it. As the preacher reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear Running down his cheek-- 'Thank you so much for your visit. Especially for the `Fiery` Sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday.' You know-- We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with too Little. Consequently, few listen. So, just maybe---- Sometimes the best sermons are The ones left unspoken. Love you my brother in Christ, And please remember----- Just What `True Love` is. True Love isn't loving a `Perfect Person`, But Learning to Love an `Imperfect Person` PERFECTLY`!! JESUS DID----- me. John-Paul --- ...Sweet! Same example my teacher in the Word used to give us! Thank You John-Paul! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatH :) One thing for sure is this pup's name isn't "Rusty" which is my Pom's name, and he'll be 6 yrs Feb. 28th 09. lol This is a cute mail, now. I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING YESTERDAY. I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT --- ...Funny! Thank You PatH! You can see a copy of this hilarious pic in our yahoo group pictures here... http://ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/photos/browse/1f2a?b=57&m=t&o=0 ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend GloriaH :) + * + + + `.!.' * + + -=x=- + .'!`. * + + ! * + + + + + * + * + ,-. * //"\\ + * + * // \\ * // = \\ + w w w + + //___o O \\ \O O O ||\_/|\|\ || + |\ `|\ '|\ _ ___||_Y_| \_\||_________|_\_|_\__|_\ hjw Check Out In His Name: http://www.christinescottage.co.uk/inhisname.htm --- ...Aww, sweet one! Thank You Gloria! ============================================================= _ ____ (_)__ _,---' `-._ `.`-' _ ,-"\ `--' `. ," ,-' \ ," ,"..\ `," ," ( O)\ _ _ `,"))) ` _) _,---."`. ()()) (())))))=) _,-'\ (__,''\ \ H ____\//____ (())))))) _,-' \';;; \ \ O| * | | * |/ `'''' _,' \ \ H|____| |___*| `._ _,-' _,-----.\ \ __ O|____| |____| `-...___,-' ,-' \\ \ ,' |\ H| * | | * | o\ ,' \\ ( | ) O|*___|_|____| | / )\ \.__|/ '\###########: o| ( / \ \ `############\ ._ /____,\_____________/ \ \ _ _,--' ###\ /-.__ __ === | \ \,-------._ #_),' _,-------.##\_____ / `. \=== / ,\ \,------._\ / ,' _,::::._`#######`---. /___ \ |===/_ ,' ,\ \,::::._ / / ,::::::::::.`##########` :-:`-._ ,'._,-' ) / ,' ,\ \:::::::. |/ /::,' `:::\ \ \ : :-: /_: :-::`. ,' / / /::\ \ `:::\ .::/ ,-------------------.__________`._,'O |/ .::/ \ \-. \::. ::: ( ____________,' ::: (\ \ ) ::: '::\ `-------------------' '::\ `--' /::' \:::._ _,'::/ \:::._ _,'::/ jrei `:::::::::.' `:::::::::.' `"-----' `"-----' >-->From Our Friend Del, Casey, & MrWu :) CAR ACCIDENT IN TEXAS... PRICELESS !! If you don't listen to anything else today, listen to this one. This will definitely make you laugh! Turn up your sound and click on the website below. The accident occurred in the Dallas - Ft. Worth area. This is a phone call from a man who witnesses the accident involving four elderly women. It was so popular when they played it on CHUM- FM, they put it on their website. The guy's laugh is contagious. Just close your eyes and picture what he sees. http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Del! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Fig :) MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIENDS! FIG ______________________ / \ | | | Dear Santa, | | | ______________ | Please send me: | / \ \ | | / \ \ | 1. A Whale | / _________ \ | | 2. A Dolphin | \/ _ \ / | | 3. An Ambulance | \ / \ \/_ | | 4. A Pickup Truck | | O_O_/ || \_ \ | 5. A Spiderman suit | / __(_ __ || \ / | | /\/___\___\_/ \ /_\ | | / __ \/ \ | Your friend, | | |\___/ | Dane (age 3) | ______|________ | \ | | / /\ / \ \____________________/ | | \ / \ \______________\ |___/ \ _|___ |_____\ \ /| __| |_|| o \ \ | | \ |_||____\_____/\ \_|____/ / | \_____/____ | // | / \ \ | // |_________\_/\ \ \__ ______ | / | /_ |_/_/ \/_//__/| | |________// \| \ //_//__/||\_ | | \__// | / | ||__|/_ \ | | | | \_|_/ \ | ___________ | | | / | \ \|______| / _____ | \ \ | | \\ _/ / | \ \_____|______\___ \ -/___/ | \ ______\_____ / \ / \ \ / \__________________ \ | |______/ Tiziana \ / / \__/____________/ I tried to mail you something good looking for Christmas but the mailman took the stamp off my butt and told me to get the 'blank' out of the mailbox! Merry Christmas Anyway!! --- ...Ho Ho Ho - Thanks! Merry Christmas to you too Fig! ============================================================ >-->In The Worldly News: >From EME: White Powder Letters Received Around the United States FBI Requests Assistance and Information from the Public details... http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=341&z=1 THE EMERGENCY EMAIL & WIRELESS NETWORK http://www.EmergencyEmail.org Visit...The National Weather Situation Page(tm) http://www.vuetoo.com/vue1/SituationPageNews.asp?sit=27 -<>- >From AFA: Liberals use Capitol Visitors Center to censor our Christian heritage Your tax dollars used to distort the positive role Christianity has played in our country. Take Action! Contact your Representative and Senators and demand that the needed corrections be made. You can reach your Representative and Senators at 202-224-3121. December 22, 2008 Americans have a new multi-million dollar Capitol Visitors Center in Washington. Supposedly this new center gives a history of how America became a great nation. Only problem is, the role of religion is censored and distorted. Read this research to see how your tax dollars were used to distort and censor. http://www.afa.net/pdfs/cvcreport.pdf Then contact your Representative and Senators and demand that the needed corrections be made. You can reach your Representative and Senators at 202-224-3121. Very important! Please forward this to friends and family. Thank you for caring enough to get involved. --- Campbell Soup Company embraces homosexual agenda Send an email to Campbell Soup Company President Douglas Conant. Tell him you want his company to stop supporting the gay agenda. December 19, 2008 In the December, 2008 and January, 2009 issues, Campbell Soup Company bought two, two-page advertisements in the latest issues of the nation's largest homosexual magazine, "The Advocate." The ads promote their Swanson line of broth. In one of the December ads, the Campbell Soup Company highlighted the lives of two lesbians (according to their website, http://www.cafeforant.com/About%20Us.html they are married) with their son. The others feature New York City chefs. See the ads here. http://www.afa.net/pdfs/cscads.pdf Campbell Soup Company has openly begun helping homosexual activists push their agenda. Not only did the ads cost Campbell's a chunk of money, but they also sent a message that homosexual parents constitute a family and are worthy of support. They also gave their approval to the entire homosexual agenda. Take Action! * Send an email to Campbell Soup Company President Douglas Conant. https://secure.afa.net/afa/activism/TakeAction.asp?id=337 Tell him you want his company to stop supporting the gay agenda. * After sending your email, please call Campbell Soup Company (800-257-8443) and their Swanson division (1-800-442-7684) and ask the company to remain neutral in the culture war. * Forward this e-mail to your friends and family so they will know about Campbell's support of the gay agenda. Thank you for caring enough to get involved. Sincerely, Don Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman American Family Association -<>- >From BizarreNews: .-'"""""""\ |o\ __ ) | ;`----||-' / \ _||__ We don't have one of these, |::: ||`"""""`| |:::O|=\ /=, So We Are Taking YOURS! jgs `""""`'=`"""`==' -- Alleged robbers demanded eggbeater ------------ PLANT CITY, Fla. - Authorities in central Florida say two men are charged with armed burglary after allegedly demand- ing only a metal eggbeater from their victim. The Hills- borough County Sheriff's Office said deputies arrested Robert Eugene Thompson and Taurus Deshane Morris after they allegedly entered a Plant City home -- Thompson allegedly armed with a knife and Morris allegedly with a chrome pistol -- early Sunday and demanded the victim's chrome eggbeater, The Tampa (Fla.) Tribune reported Monday. Both men were charged with armed burglary and Thompson, who allegedly held his knife to the victim's throat during the scuffle, was also slapped with a count of aggravated assault. There was no explanation as to why the suspects, who were taken to the Orient Road Jail, were so intent on obtaining only the kitchen utensil. -- Sofa driver fights citations ---------------- CLEVELAND - A Cleveland Browns fan noted for cruising between tailgate parties on his motorized couch has pleaded not guilty to sofa-related traffic violations. Mike Meredith was scheduled to appear in court Tuesday after he was cited for driving an unregistered vehicle and having expired plates while cruising in his "Go-Kouch" Nov. 23 outside the Municipal Lot, the Cleveland Plain Dealer reported. Meredith denies any wrongdoing, saying he was waived into the area by police officers. He said he has photos of the officers allowing him to enter with his vehicle, which was created from a riding lawn mower and a couch. He said tailgaters pooled $500 to pay his tickets for him, but Meredith said he decided to fight the charges and donate the money to the Make-a-Wish Foundation. -- eBay cancels auction of man's soul ------------- LONDON - The Internet site eBay has canceled a British man's auction for his soul. Dante Knoxx, 24, had offered the "used" item for a starting bid of $37,600 or a "Buy it now" price of just more than $1 million, The Daily Mail reported. The site canceled the listing Monday with two hours to go before the auction's end, said Knoxx, adding he had "a lot of interest but no actual bidders which is a real shame." The listing apparently violated an eBay policy against "selling anything that is not physical," said Knoxx, a musician from Bournemouth who said he was fed up with his life and lacked creative jobs. The eBay listing included a legal contract entitling the new soul's owner to a percentage of Knoxx's income for the rest of his life with a guaranteed minimum of $1,500 per year. |L ,' ` /.o `, `, |-`, -', ' `,'_) '\ ,' `-`, _`o,- (_)/ '_ ' o `-, / ,-L `-' _`-`_ , `'. ;. (,' `| `.-. \ ,``_' (_) o `' ,` '_ ,|\ o _ \ /..-(_)' |','..-`(_)-` | | -bf- --' `-- -- N.C. family has 61 Christmas trees ------------- TRINITY, N.C. - A mother in Trinity, N.C., says her family home has 61 Christmas trees, each of which is decorated with a different theme. Bren Knox said her home's Christmas trees began to multiply 11 years ago when her daughter requested a tree in her bedroom to help her sleep while Knox was out of town, WFMY-TV, Greensboro, N.C., said Wednesday. During the ensuing years, Knox said she added tree after tree to the home and began creating themes for each of the holiday items. Among the themes featured in the Knox home are chef and fruit-themed trees. "When people hear how many trees I have in my home, they think I'm crazy," the mother of two said. "But once they come in, they say it is the most magnificent, beautiful thing they've ever seen." Knox, who occasionally holds open houses to showcase her tree collection, told WFMY-TV her favorite tree contains items her children personally made. ============================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave." Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to leave because his father was calling. Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, "You're a kid?" -<>- `==..) ._}} , ,' /.\ ,} " - _ * . ._`=:,;'.( / ', )`v;' " - _- . ) \,;' `-.`.,' ' /_,',/ - - . _ - " . \ / ``< // ) `. ';.-' " -.--*-- `.`V/ _.' , , ;' ^ / \ . \ \ .-' .- ,-') / \ . . /`./ } V ' ,-' )`( ^ /\ ' ` ^ ,' ' \ `., / ^ ( ( ) / \ '` ^/ \ \ ^ .-" , _^ / `' '^/ \ )` ( ' `/ Y ' ! ` ` /^ ^ -"""--....___..--" /,' ,' ' / ' ` (=)=) ' \ `/ \ \ !V' HO! . - ' . . /_...--. ||| ` \ / , ` \"` HO! _ ' ' /' ,'__.--,'_`.|| ` `.' ! ` ! HO! , , , , ,-'--.--,' (_) `: __.-/, `\ (/ (/ (/ ','__..--,'_________:. / / ` \ \ _@, ._,--'\) ,--'\) ,--'\) /__...--'|-----------|` '-._ ! _.-` ]Xxx/ /|"/> /|"/> /|"/> _. .__. | ___ .--. | . 'T^T` _| L__| | [_] |[]| | . _____.- .-. _________|.,,_..| '|,| . ' / /) / / _/_ /) . . . .. _/_, _ // . _ /| / _ / _ // _ Seal _ '/ _(/_(/_(_/ ) / |/_(_(_(_(_(_(/_ --`-'-------------/)--`-'------------------ (/ For those of you that do not understand portuguese ... Feliz Natal means Merry Christmas. It's always good to learn something new, right? :)) Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was "just up ahead." One year I snapped. "Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn't exist. It's like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn't dead, doesn't have too many bald spots and is straight." -<>- A friend of mine is responsible for alumni relations at his high-school alma mater. Last fall, a member of the Class of 86 returned the standard alumni questionnaire with this response: Marital Status - Not good Wife's Name - Plaintiff -<>- I heard the dog barking before he and his owner actually barreled into our vet practice. Spotting a training video we sell, the owner wisely decided to buy one. "How does this work?" she asked, handing me a check. "Do I just have him watch this?" -<>- Although I have three sons, it was always my daughter who helped me with chores around the house. One day we decided to install ceiling fans in the bedrooms. We thought it would take about an hour, but the task turned into an all-day job. "Thanks, Sweetie," I said gratefully when we were finished. "No problem," she replied as she put away the tools. "Just think of me as the son you never had." -<>- My son is the manager of a glass and window company and ad- vertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job said he had over 10 years of experience. "Where have you worked as a glazier?" my son asked. The man replied, "Dunkin' Donuts." =============================================================== >-->From The Jokester: ^ _ ^ | { \ 0 / } ---*--- { /|\ } |\ { /|||\ } | /---------------\ {/ ||| \} | \ / \ ||||| | \ \ / _ \ ||||||| *^* o | \ \ \ / O| _ \ / \ |0| (=) | /| - / \ | ) |\ ## /|\ 0 | \ \ \ | (\ | |\/| | (|\ /|||\ === \ \ ___ || | | | | __|| \[=]/ /o\ \ /o=/| || | | | /\___ | | || ||| =O= |---|/ / |\| | | \ |\| o/ \ ||| ||| |---|| |___\ | | || | | |__\ / \ ||| Bulletin Bloops * From a lyric sheet: "What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and briefs to bear." * Support group meeting postponed: "There will be no Moms Who Care this week." * "Father, we just want to pray for our unloved saved ones." * The Overeater's Anonymous Group will meet at 8:00 in the large room. * Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding. * We pray that our people will jumble themselves. * Hymn: Crown Him With Many Crows * "Child Care provided with reservations." * Janet Smith has volunteered to strip and refinish the communion table in the sanctuary. * Scripture: "I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirty and you gave me something to drink." * The Honeymooners Group is now having Bile Studies each Tuesday evening at 7:30p.m. * Pray that a food foundation will be laid in the lives of our teens. * We are always happy to let you sue our facility. -<>- Three Great Religious Truths 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.... 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.... 3. Mormons do not recognize each other in the liquor store. -<>- "The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." -IRS auditor -<>- The Gambler The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk. The auditor leaps with joy! , realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it." ============================================================= >-->From SermondFodder: You Better be Good Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this year. This happens when you combine a headstrong two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent. Sarah's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and doesn't like it when children fight. This had little impact. "I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehavior," her mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Sarah's eyes grew big as her mother asked "Mrs. Claus" (really Sarah's aunt) if she could put Santa on the line. Sarah's mouth dropped open as Mom described to Santa (Sarah's uncle) how the two-year-old was acting. When Mom said that Santa wanted to talk to her, the youngster reluctantly took the phone. Santa, in a deepened voice, explained to her how there would be no presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on. Sarah, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a long moment, Mom (holding in her chuckles at being so clever) asked, "What did Santa say to you, dear?" In almost a whisper, Sarah sadly but matter-of-factly stated, "Santa said he won't be bringing toys to my sister this year." >From http://www.humormatters.com/holidays/Christmas/xmasjokes.htm ===== This post is brought your way by Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day Ministries. To get a regular dose of Christian humor and a modern-day parable drop a note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or to ajokeaday7-subscribe@topica.com. Please leave this attached if you forward this to friends or post on the net. ....................................................... : .` \ ! / '. .` \ ! / '. : : __ ,-"""-. __ __ ,-"""-. __ : : `-...-' `-...-' : : ' / '____ ` \ ` ' / ,---. \ ` : : / )))) /=====\ : : ( /'e( )a` \ \ : : ) / _/ \_ ) \ : : ( / (_ _) _\__ \ : : )/ \`-`\ _ /\ /\ _/'-' ,-.\/ : : '| \___)_| / \ |_|jj_/, ) : : | |/ \|-----','/ : : \ | ,-"-. |-----' / : : / `--.___| `-.-' `-----'=<\ : : / | ,-. ||||||||\ : : | | \""""""""""""/ |||||||| : : __/ | \__________/ |||||||\_ : : __/ | / / \ \ |\\\\\\\\\__.-. : : .-'_/___________/ /_/ \_\ \\\\\\\\\/_____`-, : : `""""""" : : ,.,-.,-. ,--. ,.,-.,.,-. ,. ,. : : ||/||/|| //_\| ||/`'||/`' || || : : || || || ||--' || || || / | : : || || || \\,-. || || ||//|| : : `' `' `' `--' `' `' `-' || : : // : : ,. ,. ,-.// : : || () || `--' : : ,--. ||,. ,.,-. ,. ,--.||-. ,.,-.,-. ,-. ,--.: : //`-' ||/\\ ||/`' || ((`-'||`' ||/||/|| //-\\ ((`-': :|| || || || || \\ || || || || || || \\ : : \\,-. || || || || ,-.)) || || || || \\-|| ,-.)) : : `--' `' `' `' `' `--' `' `' `' `' `-^-``--' : hjw :......................................................: >WISE MEN OF CHRISTMAS By Elizabeth Price The gifts of the wise men to the baby Jesus were no accident. They were planned with devotion and a depth of understanding that takes your breath away. The wise men were deeply religious and had known that the Lord was sending a saviour to the world. They also knew the prophecies that he would come as a human baby in the land of Israel so when they saw the miraculous star, they knew his time had come. When they saw the babe they worshipped him and offered gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. The first mention of gold in the Bible associates it with the river that flowed from the Garden of Eden to nourish the earth. Gold is used extensively in the Ark of the Covenant. This is the Ark that contained the ten commandments. It was overlaid with gold, both inside and out and the two angels above the mercy seat were made of pure gold. So gold represents God. God is understood as a river of life flowing freely and he is understood as law and justice and mercy. Frankincense was used in offerings as a sweet perfume. When the Lord directed the offerings used in worship of him, he specifically said that frankincense was to be used only for God and never for man. (Exodus 30:34-38) It specifically represented the offering of Christ's life and only Christ's life was acceptable to God to redeem us from eternal death. So the gifts of gold and frankincense offered by the Kings to baby Jesus declared their belief that Jesus was God and his life alone was a sweetly perfumed offering to the Lord for mankind. Myrrh has another dimension. Genesis 37:25 is the first mention of myrrh in the Bible and it is part of trade by the Ishmaelites with Egypt. It represents the sorrow of sin and enslavement to sin. Years later, when, unknown to his family, Joseph had become Prime Minister of Egypt, Jacob sent his sons to buy grain from the Egyptians. He sent an offering that included myrrh, Genesis 43:11. Joseph represented Christ and myrrh represented the power of the sinful Egyptians over the Children of Israel. So when the wise men offered myrrh to Baby Jesus, they showed that Jesus offered himself as a sin offering to God and that the life of Jesus was an offering for a world of sin. In Psalm 45:8 we read of Christ that his `robes are all fragrant with myrrh.' That is, Christ made the perfume of sin his own. He claimed sin. He took the sins of the whole world and offered them to God in himself. I often wonder, do we see in the Baby Jesus what the Wise men saw? Do we bow in worship and offer gold, frankincense and myrrh in the spirit of the wise men? In His love, Lyn Chaffart submissions@scripturalnuggets.org ================================================================== >-->Fun Places To Net Visit: The Peace Of God http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/peaceofgod.html Lean On Me http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/leanonme.html Ice Hotel http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/icehotel.html Would You Care? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/care.html Desert Skiing http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desertskiing.html Jellyfish Lake http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jellyfish.html Newborn Moose http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moose.html Wind Snow Rolls http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snow.html Wave Frozen In Time http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wave.html -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Melva/Let Me Be A Child Again http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/LetMeBe.html Carolyn w/Missing You http://tinyurl.com/a5rpch Junebug & Friend's http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Junebugs/index.html How To Decorate Cookies http://www.fabulousfoods.com/recipes/article/226/19995 Ben and Jerry's Holiday Stuff http://www.benjerry.com/fun_stuff/holidays/winter_holidays/ Tic-Tac-Toe With Rudolph http://blackdog.net/holiday/christmas/tictactoe2/index.html Massive Recoil Rifle http://www.buffaloschips.com/90916.htm Boogie http://www.buffaloschips.com/90917.htm Boom http://www.buffaloschips.com/90918.htm Border Patrol http://www.buffaloschips.com/90919.htm Boy and Labador http://www.buffaloschips.com/90920.htm Swimming http://www.buffaloschips.com/81839.htm Table Expanding http://www.buffaloschips.com/81840.htm Table Saw Safety Technology http://www.buffaloschips.com/81842.htm Table That Walks http://www.buffaloschips.com/81842.htm Tap Dancing Kitties http://www.buffaloschips.com/81843.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "It snowed in Malibu. Unbelievable. Roads were closed. In fact, there was so much snow, celebrities couldn’t get to the global warming conference." -Jay Leno "According to a new study, polar bears will probably be ex- tinct by the year 2050. So enjoy eating them while you can." -Dave Letterman "Earlier today, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said that his state needs to reduce toxic substances. Of course when Arnold said it, it sounded like, 'Ragu taco submarines.'" -Conan O'Brien "California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said yesterday that we are headed for financial Armageddon. He also said California's credit rating could 'die hard,' possibly 'with a vengeance.'" -Jimmy Kimmel "Astronomers say they've discovered a planet with an atmos- phere that is made up entirely of poisonous carbon dioxide. As a result, they're naming the planet Cleveland." -Conan O'Brien "The holidays are just wonderful. Here's what I thought was sad, though, the line for the mall Santa? Out the door and around the block. The mall rabbi? Nothing." -David Letterman "I got a simple rule about everybody. If you don't treat me right, shame on you." -Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong "Life is a mirror: if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting." --William Makepeace Thackeray "Men, like nails, lose their usefulness when they lose direction and begin to bend." --Walter Savage Landor ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 88 * _,_, * * * * * * 88 88 * * / | \ __ ,__ ,__ , 88 88 * * ( | )/__) | '| '/ | * * 88 88 \, / \__, | | \__| 88 88 * * * * | * * 88 88 * * _ * ,~ | 88 88 * _)\_ * * ('v)_, * 88 88 * ) \(___ * (/\(``/ 88 88 * `)oO' `. * \/_>' * * 88 88 * _j_ _j_ ,-^^-. * 88 88 * ,' _____ `y \ * 88 88 * `.,'^ ^`.,| | * * 88 88 * * / Q _ Q \|__..__| 88 88 : . /,' . ; || * * * 88 88 * * * \ `Oo.oO' / || * 88 88 ( `-.___.-'`. || * * 88 88 * * * /`.__, \ _`.|| * 88 88 * // `---)_ )| * * 88 88 * ,'/ O (_____(-i * * 88 88 * * ( | o `````|__) 88 88 * `| Q ||| * * * 88 88 * | ||| * 88 88 * * \ ///\\ * * * 88 88 * * \ / `==' * 88 88 ------`- -'-----hjw------ 88 88 __ , , 88 88 / `|_ .__ * _ |_ ._ _ __, _ 88 88( | \ | ' |` / \ | | | \ / | / \ 88 88 \__,| / | | _/,_/ \_,| | / \__|,_/,_/ 88 88 88 8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************