Merry Christmas SMILES ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
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or Web Site:
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Group email address:
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or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
==================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
_
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\ `._ _) _.' | |""""""""| |"""")O""| |_|_
\_ \ \`-.__.'|\` /`| | | /:( | (%%%%\
`. / \ .'_`---' | | | ):( | |)%%%%|
`._ / `"--' `-' | | | \(` | /%%%%%|
) .' | | | ` | .|%%%%%/
/.' `. |--------|__|--------|' .\%%%/
.;;;. `. .'|___,-._.%%%%\_______|.'| |""
;:::::; `-.__ _.' ..._/%%|/%%%%%| | | |
;:::::; .'`.`````` ,;::::%%%%%%%%%%| _ _ | |/
|`:::' \ .-`::::::\%%%%%%%%| (_><_)| /
| .'`._.'`. `:::::`%%%%%%/ _/\ | /
\ .-' \:::::\%%%'|______\_|/
\ \:::::;"' `-.
`._ \:::;` _)_
`. /`"' / O \
`-. .-' |~__|
hjw `. _.-' |__x|
`-._____.--'
Well so far, I am feeling like I am living with good old Saint
Nick at the North Pole! My goodness! Yesterday we had wind gusts
to 45 mph and wind chills of minus 27 degrees F. Nasty weather -
like the cartoon would say - not fit for man nor beast!
It is good to stay in where it is warm and dry and smile at some
jokes as the wind throws icicles at the windows from off of the
trees!
Today is not so bad as yesterday! I hope and pray all of you are
warm and secure today although I know last night they said many
were still without power and might still be even without power
until Wednesday! Nasty winter!
May God Bless us and give us ALL A Most MERRY CHRISTMAS!
====================================================================
>-->From The FunnyBone:
___________________________
/ _________________________ \
|/----, \| British Journalistic Blunders
||NEWS| ||
||----' .-""-. ||
|| / \ \ || "Julian Dicks (West Ham United)
|| | /`-._| || is everywhere. It's like they've
|| |/ . . | || got eleven Dicks on the field."
|| ( _\ ) || (Metro Radio Sports Commentary)
|| |\ = | ||
|| /\ \_._/ || Listener: "My most embarrassing
|| /\_\___//\ || moment was when my artificial leg
|| /` \ \| `\ || fell off at the altar on my
|\____/_____|__;_____|__BBC/| wedding day." Simon Fanshawe:
\___________________________/ "How awful! Do you still have an
|:::::::::::::::::::| artificial leg?" (Talk Radio)
|:::::::::::::::::::|
|::():():::::():()::| Interviewer: "So did you see which
|:::::::::::::::::::| train crashed into which train
__|jgs::::::::::::::::|__ first?" 15-year-old: "No, they
/ \ both ran into each other at the
'===========================' same time." (BBC Radio 4)
Presenter (to paleontologist):"So what would happen if you mated the
woolly mammoth with, say,an elephant?" Expert: "Well in the same way
that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we'd get a sort of half-
mammoth. Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks." (GLR)
Kilroy-Silk: "Did you mean to _.-~"~-.
get pregnant?" ;`a) ) `\
Girl: "No. It was a cock-up." \-./_ / |~=-=--.
`-._)_ | / ".
Grand National winning jockey _ //` `| `"~` \
Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an \'-'/ .--' / / |\
anti-climax after that!" `~` / ____/\ | / `"
Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave __/__/ | |`-...-\ |
the horse a wonderful ride, / \ | | |`\ |
everyone saw that." (BBC) jgs |_____| /__| /__/__|
Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't
it?" Expert: "Er, yes." (Channel 4 News)
"As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no
different to any other." (John Sleightholme - BBC1)
"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to
score a goal." (Jimmy Hill - BBC)
"Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different
names." (Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3)
===================================================================
*
* *
* * .--.
\/ \/ \/ \/ ./ /=*
\/ \/ * * ... (_____)
\ ^ ^/ \ \_((^o^))-. *
(o)(O)--)--------\. \ ( ) \ \._.
| | ||================((~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~))| ( ) | \
\__/ ,| \. * * * * * * ./ (~~~~~~~~~~) \
* ||^||\.____./|| | \___________/ ~||~~~~|~'\____/
|| || || || A || || || | jurcy
* <> <> <> <> (___||____||_____) ((~~~~~| *
+----------------- Bizarre Christmas Traditions --------------+
In Italy they have no Christmas trees. Instead they decorate
small wooden pyramids with fruit.
Ukranians decorate their trees with an artificial spider and
matching web. A spider web found on Christmas morning is
believed to bring good luck.
The citizens of Caracas, Venezuela block off the streets on
Christmas eve so that people can roller-skate to God's house.
It is a British Christmas tradition that a wish made while
mixing the Christmas pudding will come true only if the
ingredients are stirred in a clockwise direction.
A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head
of a pig prepared with mustard.
Sending red Christmas cards to anyone in Japan constitutes
bad etiquette, since funeral notices there are customarily
printed in red.
In Norway on Christmas Eve, all the brooms in the house
are hidden because long ago it was believed that witches
and mischievous spirits came out on Christmas Eve and would
steal their brooms for riding.
+----------- More Bizarre Christmas Traditions ------------+
It is a British Christmas tradition that a wish made while
mixing the Christmas pudding will come true only if the
ingredients are stirred in a clockwise direction.
A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the
head of a pig prepared with mustard.
Sending red Christmas cards to anyone in Japan constitutes
bad etiquette, since funeral notices there are customarily
printed in red.
In Norway on Christmas Eve, all the brooms in the house
are hidden because long ago it was believed that witches
and mischievous spirits came out on Christmas Eve and would
steal their brooms for riding.
============================================================
_..__
M E R R Y X - M A S .-" `.
.-' `.
E V E R Y B O D Y .' \ `-.
/ `. \
! ! ! ! ! / _...._ \ \
: _.-"" o o ""-._ ; ;
;-" .__. "-: :
: __.--.--.--.__ ; ;
: .-" / \/ \ "-. ; :
:.- : ,-. ; -.; ;
; < ; ;o: O : > : ;
`._ : `-' ; _.' :
/ \ /\ / \ \
: \ `-+' `+-' / ;. `-;
`-'; `. / \ .' : `--'
: `: ;' ;
; : ; :
: \ / :
; `-..-' \ /
: . `-;
; ;--'
\ / ;
:-' , :
`--: ;`-'
bug \ /
`. .'
`. /
`-'\ .'
\ .'
`./
`-'
>-->A Classic From Our Friend Tony In Australia :)
>Lest We Forget
(It wasn't me though) Last week I was in Melbourne attending a
conference.
While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several people
behind me beginning to clap and cheer. I immediately turned around and
witnessed one of the greatest acts of patriotism I have ever seen.
Moving through the terminal was a group of soldiers in their uniforms,
as they began heading to their gate everyone (well almost everyone)
was abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering.
When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and
cheered for, it hit me. I'm not alone. I'm not the only red blooded
Australian who still loves this country and supports our troops and
their families. Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for
these young unsung heroes who are putting their lives on the line
everyday for us so we can go to school, work, and enjoy our home
without fear or reprisal.
Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our
service men and women a young girl, not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran
up to one of the male soldiers.
He knelt down and said 'hi,' the little girl then asked him if hewould
give something to her daddy for her.
The young soldier didn't look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he
would try and what did she want to give to her daddy.
Suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the
biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek.
The mother of the little girl, who said her daughters name was Courtney,
told the young soldier that her husband was a Corporal and had been in
Afghanistan for 5 months now.
As the mum was explaining how much her daughter, Courtney, missed her
father, the young soldier began to tear up.
When this temporarily single mum was done explaining her situation, all
of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second. Then one of the
other servicemen pulled out a military looking walkie-talkie.
They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it.
After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to
Courtney, bent down and said this to her, 'I spoke to your daddy and he
told me to give this to you.'
He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a Kiss
on the cheek.
He finished by saying 'Your daddy told me to tell you that he loves
you more than anything and he is coming home very soon.'
The mum at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young
soldier stood to his feet he saluted Courtney and her mum.
I was standing no more than 6 feet away as this entire event unfolded.
As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people
resumed their applause.
As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry
eyes, including my own.
That young soldier in one last act of moment turned around and blew a
kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek.
We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and
thank God for them and their sacrifices.
At the end of the day, it's good to be an Australian.
RED FRIDAYS
Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday.
The reason?
Australian's who support our troops used to be called the 'silent
majority'.
We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for Country and home
in record breaking numbers.
We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing.
We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our
opinions.
Many Australian's, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to
recognize that the vast majority of Australia supports our troops.
Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity
and respect starts this Friday and continues each and every Friday
until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every
Australian who supports our men and women afar will wear something
red.
By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make Australia on every Friday a
sea of red much like a homecoming football team
If every one of us who loves this country will share this with
acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, It will not be long
before Australia is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the
once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more
than the media lets on.
The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things
better for you?' is...'We need your support and your prayers'.
Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and
wear something red every Friday.
IF YOU AGREE -- THEN SEND THIS ON
IF YOU COULD NOT CARE LESS THEN HIT THE DELETE BUTTON.
IT IS YOUR CHOICE.
THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED---- SO WEAR RED! ---
Lest we Forget.
---
...An Excellent One - Thank You Tony! God Bless Our Troops!
================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Don :)
>Area codes-important
ABOUT AREA CODE
We actually received a call last week from the 809 area code. The
woman said 'Hey, this is Karen. Sorry I missed you--get back to us
quickly. I Have something important to tell you.' Then she repeated a \
phone number beginning with 809 . 'We didn't respond'.
Then this week, we received the following e-mail:
Subject: DON'T DIAL AREA CODE 809 , 284 AND 876
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION PROVIDED TO US BY AT&T.
DON'T DIAL AREA CODE 809
This one is being distributed all over the US . This is pretty scary,
especially given the way they try to get you to call.
Be sure you read this and pass it on.
They get you to call by telling you that it is information about a
family member who has been ill or to tell you someone has-been arrested,
died, or to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc.
In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since
there are so many new area codes these days, people unknowingly return
these calls.
If you call from the US , you will apparently be charged
$2425 per-minute.
Or, you'll get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to
keep you on the phone as long as possible to increase the charges.
Unfortunately, when you get your phone bill, you'll often be charged
more than $24,100.00
WHY IT WORKS :
The 809 area code is located in the Dominican Republic .. They are not
regulated by the US laws.
The charges afterwards can become a real nightmare. That's because you
did actually make the call. If you complain, both your local phone
company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and
will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for
the foreign company. You'll end up dealing with a foreign company that
argues they have done nothing wrong.
Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and
colleagues to help them become aware of this scam
Sandi Van Handel
AT&T Field Service Manager
(920)687-904
Additional information on these area codes can be found from ATT at:
http://www.consumeratt.com/consumertips/areacode.html
---
...If I remember right, this one has been around for a while but has
good info for us to heed. Thanks Don!
=================================================================
>-->From Our Friend John-Paul :)
| | ,---------,
K. .H |r'''|'''Y|
/ *'.* \ || | ||
/ \ ||===|===||
/.- -. \ || | ||
/ |-| _/-/ \ |L.__|__.J|
/ \)_) (_() \ '---------'
_________________________
-__LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL__-
\|#/#############\#|/
\|##/ \##|/
\|#| ) ) ( ) ) |#|/
\|#| ( ( ()(( |#|/
\|#| /\__\_(- |#|/
_____________\|#| _(\/L/(\/)_ |#|/_____________
\|#|-.-.-.-.-.-.-|#|/ Pr59
''' '''
,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,
/ .-. .-. \
/ .-' '-' '-. \
/-' .-' '-. '-\
+'+'+'+'+'+'+'+'+'+'+
>A ~Sermon~With No `Spoken Words`
A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending
Services regularly,
Stopped going.
After a few weeks, the preacher
Decided to visit him.
It was a very chilly evening.
The preacher found the man at home alone,
The man was Sitting before a blazing Fire. Guessing the reason for his
preachers Visit.
The man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the Fireplace
and waited.
The preacher made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave
Silence.
He contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning Logs.
After some minutes, the preacher took the fire tongs,
Carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one Side
of the hearth all alone.
Then he sat back in his chair, still Silent.
The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone
Ember's' flame flickered and diminished,
There was but a momentary glow, And then its fire was no more.
Soon it was cold and dead.
Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting.
The preacher Glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave.
He slowly Stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember, and placed it back
in the Middle of the fire.
Immediately it began to glow, once more with the
Light and warmth of the burning coals around it.
As the preacher reached the door to leave,
his host said with a tear Running down his cheek--
'Thank you so much for your visit.
Especially for the `Fiery` Sermon.
I shall be back in church next Sunday.'
You know-- We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with
too Little.
Consequently, few listen.
So, just maybe---- Sometimes the best sermons are
The ones left unspoken.
Love you my brother in Christ,
And please remember-----
Just What `True Love` is.
True Love isn't loving a `Perfect Person`,
But Learning to Love an `Imperfect Person`
PERFECTLY`!!
JESUS DID----- me.
John-Paul
---
...Sweet! Same example my teacher in the Word used to give us!
Thank You John-Paul!
==========================================================
>-->From Our Friend PatH :)
One thing for sure is this pup's name isn't "Rusty" which is my Pom's
name, and he'll be 6 yrs Feb. 28th 09. lol
This is a cute mail, now.
I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING YESTERDAY.
I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT
UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT
---
...Funny! Thank You PatH!
You can see a copy of this hilarious pic in our yahoo group
pictures here...
http://ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/photos/browse/1f2a?b=57&m=t&o=0
============================================================
>-->From Our Friend GloriaH :)
+ * +
+
+ `.!.' * +
+ -=x=- +
.'!`. * +
+ ! * +
+ + + + *
+ * + ,-. *
//"\\ + *
+ * // \\ *
// = \\ + w w w +
+ //___o O \\ \O O O
||\_/|\|\ || + |\ `|\ '|\
_ ___||_Y_| \_\||_________|_\_|_\__|_\
hjw
Check Out In His Name:
http://www.christinescottage.co.uk/inhisname.htm
---
...Aww, sweet one! Thank You Gloria!
=============================================================
_ ____
(_)__ _,---' `-._
`.`-' _ ,-"\
`--' `. ," ,-'
\ ," ,"..\
`," ," ( O)\
_ _ `,"))) ` _) _,---."`.
()()) (())))))=) _,-'\ (__,''\ \
H ____\//____ (())))))) _,-' \';;; \ \
O| * | | * |/ `'''' _,' \ \
H|____| |___*| `._ _,-' _,-----.\ \ __
O|____| |____| `-...___,-' ,-' \\ \ ,' |\
H| * | | * | o\ ,' \\ ( | )
O|*___|_|____| | / )\ \.__|/
'\###########: o| ( / \ \
`############\ ._ /____,\_____________/ \ \
_ _,--' ###\ /-.__ __ === | \ \,-------._
#_),' _,-------.##\_____ / `. \=== / ,\ \,------._\
/ ,' _,::::._`#######`---. /___ \ |===/_ ,' ,\ \,::::._
/ / ,::::::::::.`##########` :-:`-._ ,'._,-' ) / ,' ,\ \:::::::.
|/ /::,' `:::\ \ \ : :-: /_: :-::`. ,' / / /::\ \ `:::\
.::/ ,-------------------.__________`._,'O |/ .::/ \ \-. \::.
::: ( ____________,' ::: (\ \ ) :::
'::\ `-------------------' '::\ `--' /::'
\:::._ _,'::/ \:::._ _,'::/
jrei `:::::::::.' `:::::::::.'
`"-----' `"-----'
>-->From Our Friend Del, Casey, & MrWu :)
CAR ACCIDENT IN TEXAS... PRICELESS !!
If you don't listen to anything else today, listen to
this one. This will definitely make you laugh!
Turn up your sound and click on the website below. The
accident occurred in the Dallas - Ft. Worth area. This
is a phone call from a man who witnesses the accident
involving four elderly women. It was so popular when
they played it on CHUM- FM, they put it on their website.
The guy's laugh is contagious. Just close your eyes and
picture what he sees.
http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf
---
...TeeHee! Thanks Del!
==========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Fig :)
MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIENDS!
FIG
______________________
/ \
| |
| Dear Santa, |
| |
______________ | Please send me: |
/ \ \ | |
/ \ \ | 1. A Whale |
/ _________ \ | | 2. A Dolphin |
\/ _ \ / | | 3. An Ambulance |
\ / \ \/_ | | 4. A Pickup Truck |
| O_O_/ || \_ \ | 5. A Spiderman suit |
/ __(_ __ || \ / | |
/\/___\___\_/ \ /_\ | |
/ __ \/ \ | Your friend, |
| |\___/ | Dane (age 3) |
______|________ | \ | |
/ /\ / \ \____________________/
| | \ / \
\______________\ |___/ \
_|___ |_____\ \
/| __| |_|| o \ \
| | \ |_||____\_____/\
\_|____/ / | \_____/____
| // | / \ \
| // |_________\_/\ \ \__ ______
| / | /_ |_/_/ \/_//__/|
| |________// \| \ //_//__/||\_
| | \__// | / | ||__|/_ \
| | | | \_|_/ \
| ___________ | | | / |
\ \|______| / _____ |
\ \ | | \\ _/ / |
\ \_____|______\___ \ -/___/ |
\ ______\_____ /
\ / \ \ /
\__________________ \ | |______/ Tiziana
\ / /
\__/____________/
I tried to mail you something good looking for Christmas
but the mailman took the stamp off my butt and told me to
get the 'blank' out of the mailbox!
Merry Christmas Anyway!!
---
...Ho Ho Ho - Thanks! Merry Christmas to you too Fig!
============================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From EME:
White Powder Letters Received Around the United States
FBI Requests Assistance and Information from the Public
details...
http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=341&z=1
THE EMERGENCY EMAIL & WIRELESS NETWORK
http://www.EmergencyEmail.org
Visit...The National Weather Situation Page(tm)
http://www.vuetoo.com/vue1/SituationPageNews.asp?sit=27
-<>-
>From AFA:
Liberals use Capitol Visitors Center to censor our Christian
heritage
Your tax dollars used to distort the positive role
Christianity has played in our country.
Take Action!
Contact your Representative and Senators and demand that the
needed corrections be made.
You can reach your Representative and Senators at 202-224-3121.
December 22, 2008
Americans have a new multi-million dollar Capitol Visitors Center
in Washington. Supposedly this new center gives a history of how
America became a great nation. Only problem is, the role of
religion is censored and distorted.
Read this research to see how your tax dollars were used to distort
and censor.
http://www.afa.net/pdfs/cvcreport.pdf
Then contact your Representative and Senators and
demand that the needed corrections be made.
You can reach your Representative and Senators at 202-224-3121.
Very important! Please forward this to friends and family.
Thank you for caring enough to get involved.
---
Campbell Soup Company embraces homosexual agenda
Send an email to Campbell Soup Company President Douglas Conant.
Tell him you want his company to stop supporting the gay agenda.
December 19, 2008
In the December, 2008 and January, 2009 issues, Campbell Soup Company
bought two, two-page advertisements in the latest issues of the nation's
largest homosexual magazine, "The Advocate." The ads promote their
Swanson line of broth.
In one of the December ads, the Campbell Soup Company highlighted the
lives of two lesbians (according to their website,
http://www.cafeforant.com/About%20Us.html
they are married) with their son. The others feature New York City chefs.
See the ads here.
http://www.afa.net/pdfs/cscads.pdf
Campbell Soup Company has openly begun helping homosexual activists push
their agenda. Not only did the ads cost Campbell's a chunk of money, but
they also sent a message that homosexual parents constitute a family and
are worthy of support. They also gave their approval to the entire
homosexual agenda.
Take Action!
* Send an email to Campbell Soup Company President Douglas Conant.
https://secure.afa.net/afa/activism/TakeAction.asp?id=337
Tell him you want his company to stop supporting the gay agenda.
* After sending your email, please call Campbell Soup Company
(800-257-8443) and their Swanson division (1-800-442-7684) and ask the
company to remain neutral in the culture war.
* Forward this e-mail to your friends and family so they will know
about Campbell's support of the gay agenda.
Thank you for caring enough to get involved.
Sincerely,
Don
Donald E. Wildmon,
Founder and Chairman
American Family Association
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
.-'"""""""\
|o\ __ )
| ;`----||-'
/ \ _||__ We don't have one of these,
|::: ||`"""""`|
|:::O|=\ /=, So We Are Taking YOURS!
jgs `""""`'=`"""`=='
-- Alleged robbers demanded eggbeater ------------
PLANT CITY, Fla. - Authorities in central Florida say two
men are charged with armed burglary after allegedly demand-
ing only a metal eggbeater from their victim. The Hills-
borough County Sheriff's Office said deputies arrested
Robert Eugene Thompson and Taurus Deshane Morris after they
allegedly entered a Plant City home -- Thompson allegedly
armed with a knife and Morris allegedly with a chrome
pistol -- early Sunday and demanded the victim's chrome
eggbeater, The Tampa (Fla.) Tribune reported Monday. Both
men were charged with armed burglary and Thompson, who
allegedly held his knife to the victim's throat during
the scuffle, was also slapped with a count of aggravated
assault. There was no explanation as to why the suspects,
who were taken to the Orient Road Jail, were so intent on
obtaining only the kitchen utensil.
-- Sofa driver fights citations ----------------
CLEVELAND - A Cleveland Browns fan noted for cruising
between tailgate parties on his motorized couch has
pleaded not guilty to sofa-related traffic violations.
Mike Meredith was scheduled to appear in court Tuesday
after he was cited for driving an unregistered vehicle
and having expired plates while cruising in his "Go-Kouch"
Nov. 23 outside the Municipal Lot, the Cleveland Plain
Dealer reported. Meredith denies any wrongdoing, saying
he was waived into the area by police officers. He said
he has photos of the officers allowing him to enter with
his vehicle, which was created from a riding lawn mower
and a couch. He said tailgaters pooled $500 to pay his
tickets for him, but Meredith said he decided to fight
the charges and donate the money to the Make-a-Wish
Foundation.
-- eBay cancels auction of man's soul -------------
LONDON - The Internet site eBay has canceled a British
man's auction for his soul. Dante Knoxx, 24, had offered
the "used" item for a starting bid of $37,600 or a "Buy it
now" price of just more than $1 million, The Daily Mail
reported. The site canceled the listing Monday with two
hours to go before the auction's end, said Knoxx, adding
he had "a lot of interest but no actual bidders which is
a real shame." The listing apparently violated an eBay
policy against "selling anything that is not physical,"
said Knoxx, a musician from Bournemouth who said he was
fed up with his life and lacked creative jobs. The eBay
listing included a legal contract entitling the new soul's
owner to a percentage of Knoxx's income for the rest of
his life with a guaranteed minimum of $1,500 per year.
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-- N.C. family has 61 Christmas trees -------------
TRINITY, N.C. - A mother in Trinity, N.C., says her family
home has 61 Christmas trees, each of which is decorated
with a different theme. Bren Knox said her home's Christmas
trees began to multiply 11 years ago when her daughter
requested a tree in her bedroom to help her sleep while
Knox was out of town, WFMY-TV, Greensboro, N.C., said
Wednesday. During the ensuing years, Knox said she added
tree after tree to the home and began creating themes for
each of the holiday items. Among the themes featured in
the Knox home are chef and fruit-themed trees. "When people
hear how many trees I have in my home, they think I'm
crazy," the mother of two said. "But once they come in,
they say it is the most magnificent, beautiful thing
they've ever seen." Knox, who occasionally holds open
houses to showcase her tree collection, told WFMY-TV her
favorite tree contains items her children personally made.
============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my
middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community
pool while his elderly father took a walk. Tim struck up
a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a
five-year-old boy. After a while, Tim's father returned
from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave."
Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had
to leave because his father was calling. Astonished, the
wide-eyed little boy cried, "You're a kid?"
-<>-
`==..) ._}} , ,' /.\ ,} " - _ *
. ._`=:,;'.( / ', )`v;' " - _-
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/,' ,' ' / ' ` (=)=) ' \ `/ \ \ !V' HO! . -
' . . /_...--. ||| ` \ / , ` \"` HO! _ '
' /' ,'__.--,'_`.|| ` `.' ! ` ! HO! , , ,
, ,-'--.--,' (_) `: __.-/, `\ (/ (/ (/
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/__...--'|-----------|` '-._ ! _.-` ]Xxx/ /|"/> /|"/> /|"/>
_. .__. | ___ .--. | . 'T^T`
_| L__| | [_] |[]| | . _____.- .-.
_________|.,,_..| '|,| . ' / /) / / _/_ /)
. . . .. _/_, _ // . _ /| / _ / _ //
_ Seal _ '/ _(/_(/_(_/ ) / |/_(_(_(_(_(_(/_
--`-'-------------/)--`-'------------------
(/
For those of you that do not understand portuguese ... Feliz Natal
means Merry Christmas. It's always good to learn something new, right? :))
Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our
family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas
tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the
perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but
Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was
"just up ahead."
One year I snapped. "Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn't
exist. It's like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if
you can find one that isn't dead, doesn't have too many bald
spots and is straight."
-<>-
A friend of mine is responsible for alumni relations at his
high-school alma mater.
Last fall, a member of the Class of 86 returned the standard
alumni questionnaire with this response:
Marital Status - Not good
Wife's Name - Plaintiff
-<>-
I heard the dog barking before he and his owner actually
barreled into our vet practice. Spotting a training video
we sell, the owner wisely decided to buy one.
"How does this work?" she asked, handing me a check. "Do I
just have him watch this?"
-<>-
Although I have three sons, it was always my daughter who
helped me with chores around the house.
One day we decided to install ceiling fans in the bedrooms.
We thought it would take about an hour, but the task turned
into an all-day job.
"Thanks, Sweetie," I said gratefully when we were finished.
"No problem," she replied as she put away the tools. "Just
think of me as the son you never had."
-<>-
My son is the manager of a glass and window company and ad-
vertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good
glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who
called about the job said he had over 10 years of experience.
"Where have you worked as a glazier?" my son asked.
The man replied, "Dunkin' Donuts."
===============================================================
>-->From The Jokester:
^ _ ^
| { \ 0 / }
---*--- { /|\ }
|\ { /|||\ }
| /---------------\ {/ ||| \}
| \ / \ |||||
| \ \ / _ \ ||||||| *^* o
| \ \ \ / O| _ \ / \ |0| (=)
| /| - / \ | ) |\ ## /|\ 0
| \ \ \ | (\ | |\/| | (|\ /|||\ ===
\ \ ___ || | | | | __|| \[=]/ /o\
\ /o=/| || | | | /\___ | | || ||| =O=
|---|/ / |\| | | \ |\| o/ \ ||| |||
|---|| |___\ | | || | | |__\ / \ |||
Bulletin Bloops
* From a lyric sheet: "What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins
and briefs to bear."
* Support group meeting postponed: "There will be no Moms Who Care
this week."
* "Father, we just want to pray for our unloved saved ones."
* The Overeater's Anonymous Group will meet at 8:00 in the large room.
* Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
* We pray that our people will jumble themselves.
* Hymn: Crown Him With Many Crows
* "Child Care provided with reservations."
* Janet Smith has volunteered to strip and refinish the communion
table in the sanctuary.
* Scripture: "I was hungry and you gave me something to eat;
I was thirty and you gave me something to drink."
* The Honeymooners Group is now having Bile Studies each Tuesday
evening at 7:30p.m.
* Pray that a food foundation will be laid in the lives of our teens.
* We are always happy to let you sue our facility.
-<>-
Three Great Religious Truths
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah....
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith....
3. Mormons do not recognize each other in the liquor store.
-<>-
"The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money."
-IRS auditor
-<>-
The Gambler
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The
IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a
demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way!
It's a bet."
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand
dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks.
"I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your
desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a
drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees
again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on
other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy! , realizing that he has just turned a major
loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in
his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he
could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that
you'd be happy about it."
=============================================================
>-->From SermondFodder:
You Better be Good
Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this
year. This happens when you combine a headstrong two-year-old, who is
sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.
Sarah's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in
Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and
doesn't like it when children fight. This had little impact.
"I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehavior," her mother
said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Sarah's eyes grew big as
her mother asked "Mrs. Claus" (really Sarah's aunt) if she could put
Santa on the line. Sarah's mouth dropped open as Mom described to
Santa (Sarah's uncle) how the two-year-old was acting. When Mom said
that Santa wanted to talk to her, the youngster reluctantly took the
phone.
Santa, in a deepened voice, explained to her how there would be no
presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters.
He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on.
Sarah, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's
remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a long
moment, Mom (holding in her chuckles at being so clever) asked, "What
did Santa say to you, dear?"
In almost a whisper, Sarah sadly but matter-of-factly stated, "Santa
said he won't be bringing toys to my sister this year."
>From http://www.humormatters.com/holidays/Christmas/xmasjokes.htm
=====
This post is brought your way by Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day
Ministries. To get a regular dose of Christian humor and a modern-day
parable drop a note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or to
ajokeaday7-subscribe@topica.com. Please leave this attached if you
forward this to friends or post on the net.
.......................................................
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: `--' `' `' `' `' `--' `' `' `' `' `-^-``--' : hjw
:......................................................:
>WISE MEN OF CHRISTMAS
By Elizabeth Price
The gifts of the wise men to the baby Jesus were no accident. They
were planned with devotion and a depth of understanding that takes
your breath away.
The wise men were deeply religious and had known that the Lord was
sending a saviour to the world. They also knew the prophecies that he
would come as a human baby in the land of Israel so when they saw the
miraculous star, they knew his time had come.
When they saw the babe they worshipped him and offered gifts of gold,
frankincense and myrrh.
The first mention of gold in the Bible associates it with the river
that flowed from the Garden of Eden to nourish the earth.
Gold is used extensively in the Ark of the Covenant. This is the Ark
that contained the ten commandments. It was overlaid with gold, both
inside and out and the two angels above the mercy seat were made of
pure gold. So gold represents God. God is understood as a river of
life flowing freely and he is understood as law and justice and mercy.
Frankincense was used in offerings as a sweet perfume. When the Lord
directed the offerings used in worship of him, he specifically said
that frankincense was to be used only for God and never for man.
(Exodus 30:34-38)
It specifically represented the offering of Christ's life and only
Christ's life was acceptable to God to redeem us from eternal death.
So the gifts of gold and frankincense offered by the Kings to baby
Jesus declared their belief that Jesus was God and his life alone was
a sweetly perfumed offering to the Lord for mankind.
Myrrh has another dimension. Genesis 37:25 is the first mention of
myrrh in the Bible and it is part of trade by the Ishmaelites with
Egypt. It represents the sorrow of sin and enslavement to sin.
Years later, when, unknown to his family, Joseph had become Prime
Minister of Egypt, Jacob sent his sons to buy grain from the
Egyptians. He sent an offering that included myrrh, Genesis 43:11.
Joseph represented Christ and myrrh represented the power of the
sinful Egyptians over the Children of Israel.
So when the wise men offered myrrh to Baby Jesus, they showed that
Jesus offered himself as a sin offering to God and that the life of
Jesus was an offering for a world of sin.
In Psalm 45:8 we read of Christ that his `robes are all fragrant with
myrrh.' That is, Christ made the perfume of sin his own. He claimed
sin. He took the sins of the whole world and offered them to God in
himself.
I often wonder, do we see in the Baby Jesus what the Wise men saw? Do
we bow in worship and offer gold, frankincense and myrrh in the
spirit of the wise men?
In His love,
Lyn Chaffart submissions@scripturalnuggets.org
==================================================================
>-->Fun Places To Net Visit:
The Peace Of God
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/peaceofgod.html
Lean On Me
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/leanonme.html
Ice Hotel
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/icehotel.html
Would You Care?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/care.html
Desert Skiing
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desertskiing.html
Jellyfish Lake
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jellyfish.html
Newborn Moose
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moose.html
Wind Snow Rolls
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snow.html
Wave Frozen In Time
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wave.html
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Melva/Let Me Be A Child Again
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/LetMeBe.html
Carolyn w/Missing You
http://tinyurl.com/a5rpch
Junebug & Friend's
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Junebugs/index.html
How To Decorate Cookies
http://www.fabulousfoods.com/recipes/article/226/19995
Ben and Jerry's Holiday Stuff
http://www.benjerry.com/fun_stuff/holidays/winter_holidays/
Tic-Tac-Toe With Rudolph
http://blackdog.net/holiday/christmas/tictactoe2/index.html
Massive Recoil Rifle
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90916.htm
Boogie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90917.htm
Boom
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90918.htm
Border Patrol
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90919.htm
Boy and Labador
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90920.htm
Swimming
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81839.htm
Table Expanding
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81840.htm
Table Saw Safety Technology
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81842.htm
Table That Walks
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81842.htm
Tap Dancing Kitties
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81843.htm
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
===============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"It snowed in Malibu. Unbelievable. Roads were closed. In
fact, there was so much snow, celebrities couldn’t get to
the global warming conference." -Jay Leno
"According to a new study, polar bears will probably be ex-
tinct by the year 2050. So enjoy eating them while you can."
-Dave Letterman
"Earlier today, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said
that his state needs to reduce toxic substances. Of course
when Arnold said it, it sounded like, 'Ragu taco submarines.'"
-Conan O'Brien
"California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said yesterday that
we are headed for financial Armageddon. He also said
California's credit rating could 'die hard,' possibly 'with
a vengeance.'" -Jimmy Kimmel
"Astronomers say they've discovered a planet with an atmos-
phere that is made up entirely of poisonous carbon dioxide.
As a result, they're naming the planet Cleveland."
-Conan O'Brien
"The holidays are just wonderful. Here's what I thought was
sad, though, the line for the mall Santa? Out the door and
around the block. The mall rabbi? Nothing." -David Letterman
"I got a simple rule about everybody. If you don't treat me
right, shame on you." -Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong
"Life is a mirror: if you frown at it, it frowns back; if
you smile, it returns the greeting."
--William Makepeace Thackeray
"Men, like nails, lose their usefulness when they lose
direction and begin to bend." --Walter Savage Landor
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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88 * _j_ _j_ ,-^^-. * 88
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88 * * * \ `Oo.oO' / || * 88
88 ( `-.___.-'`. || * * 88
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''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service
You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806
************************************************************************
-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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