Mistletoe At The Airport And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ _.---,_ .' `'. \ __..-'\ }-"` \ /__,,..---.._| \ | |---..__ | / ``"-./ .'---...__ | .' ``"-./ ,--./...,,,__ / '--.'__ __```.-. /._ / ` ` ' `=/.-.|-._) | .-. .-. "\\ / || O| | O| ""=='_\ .-' '-'o '-' ""=\` `''--/- ""=-,\--._ .---|- ( ""=-. \` \ /`)"=."=|'-. '. _.-' ' "=|\| (`----` '="=|/ `-. "=/` '. =/ \ =| .-. |` "=| ( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\ \ ~. |'"="| _.-~ ) ; ~-.|.-._|_.-~ / / _-( /-.__ ( '._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ; jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~ /=" / | "==\ / = (_ \ "==\ ;="= `\_) =="\ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This sizzling hot new page is from our friend Geniann. It is one sure to delight both our car and history buffs. I love seeing what the rich were driving back in the day and even now only the rich can afford this over 100 year old car! Check this sweet ride out for yourself here... ____________ .F............T. | .----------. | | |',' ',' , | | _......_ .''''''''''. | `----------' | _+' `+_ .' '. _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ _/.-. _...._ .-.\_ _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ (_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __/\__ `-'(_) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' Rare Old Rolls-Royce! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rollsroyce.html --- ...Astounding! Thank Geniann! Our next super hot new page is from our friend LouiseAu. It too will delight our history buffs but also be one that most of us will find most interesting, nostalgic and quite heartwarming. If, like me, you'll be playing the video here over and over again singing with it! Check it out here... ,-.-. / ,-. \ ,-. ( |a a| ) ,-. : `( : o ; )' : ____|____(_.>-<._)____|____ (_| / \ |_) || : `.|,' : || '|___..--|_\_|_/_|-...___|' ; | /SSt\ | : / ; ;| ,'|`. |: : \ / /| /|;._____.:|\ |\ \ / ,' `' / ;| |: \ `' `. \ `' / / | | \ \ `' / / ; : \ \ / / /| |\ \ \ / / / | | \ \ \ / / / ; : \ \ \ / / / /| |\ \ \ \ ( / / / | | \ \ \ ) `(_ / / ; : \ \ _)' `'.(_./___\._).`' Vintage Christmas Times! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/vintagechristmas.html --- ...This was fascinating! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ____ ___ _.--"""-, / ) / \ .' `\ / _\ / \/ \ / .-' / _ | /.-.--.-.-.)/ / ( )\_ .\|(_._.__._._) / \,' \/ \ \ / : , | 0 _ 0 |/ : \ _/ (_) |`\ ,' `; "\ \ / / | | | /'. '._.' .' / \_,' .( '-----'` .'-. '-._ .-'\ '. [ `''''') ) `\ { ( ( ,\ / /\ '-..-'/ ; .-' ( '. / | .' ) `;---'` | /' /__.-' } / / O ' '----' ; / ! ___ { ! }/ \ ( _--- / | ___----'(__ .-' !\___/ .---' / .-.--' '------'------ --( ____)/ _-' (;(;;---'' (_(_(;; miraculis /jgs A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been traveling in circles. "We're lost!" One of the men complained. "I thought you said you were the best guide in the United States." "I am," the guide answered, "but I think we may have wandered into Canada." -<>- A married couple in their early 60's was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." The wife answered, "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." The Fairy waved her magic wand and - poof - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof... the husband became 92 years old. -<>- A foreman sent out two groups of men to put up telephone poles along a new highway and asked them to report at the end of the day. The crews were gone all day and returned just as the sun was setting. The foreman asked the leader of the first group how many poles they had installed. The reply was eleven. The foreman patted the guy on the back and said, "Not bad." Then he went to the leader of the next group and asked him the same question. "Two" was the reply. "Two! All you installed were two?! The other group installed eleven!" The foreman exclaimed angrily. "Yeah," the leader answered, "But you should have seen how much they left sticking out!" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 11 is National Noodle Ring Day December 12 is Channukah, National Ding-a-Ling Day and Poinsettia Day December 13 is Ice Cream Day and Violin Day December 14 is International Monkey Day, National Bouillabaisse Day, and Roast Chestnuts Day December 15 is Bill of Rights Day and National Lemon Cupcake Day December 16 is National Chocolate Covered Anything Day December 17 is National Maple Syrup Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: %%% %% %%%.%%. <)_/\ /| ___(_,_),_)|___ || // \ / ||rs >Wedding Speech My nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what I assumed was a moment of deep emotion. But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I'm sorry. I can't seem to make out what I've written down." Looking out into the audience, he asked, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?" -<>- >Showing a Profit? "I don't understand," asked the new accountant. "If you're selling these computers way under cost, how is it you're showing a profit?" "Simple," said the business owner. "We make our money fixing them." -<>- >Yield for Pedestrians? Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall: YELD Close, but not close enough. I drove through the following week and found it was changed. They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now it read YEILD. About two months later they finally fixed it. The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word STOP. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .-=-. ////"\\ .=. ( 6 6 ) //"\\ \ - / (/6 6\) _.) (._ )\ = /(-` `:` `\ _(_ ) ( _)-| : |\ \ (_/ `\_/` \ | : |/ / / (_ @ _) \\_ : _/ / \ \)___(/ / |===|_) \/`"""`\/ | L | | | | | | | | | | | |_____| | | | ||| | | | ||| | | | ||| |_|_| jgs / Y \ / T \ `"`"` `"`"` >SMILES A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?" "She did," he replied, "But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!!" -------- A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother, have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus." The preacher shocked at the answer; dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?" The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus." By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again--- but this time holds him down for about 60 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?" The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in? -------- A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I wonder then, just how serious is my condition. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'." -------- Overheard on a plane: "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." -------- A teenager who had just received her learner’s permit offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination. The mother got out of the car and added, "Thank you!" "Any time," her daughter replied. As the woman slammed the door, she answered, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to God." -------- John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker. As they rode along he began to be suspicious of his passenger. John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there! So he slammed on the brakes, ordered the hitchhiker out, and said, "Hand over the wallet immediately!" The frightened hitchhiker handed over a billfold, and John drove off When he arrived home, he started to tell his wife about the experience, but she interrupted him, saying, "Before I forget, John, do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning?" -------- These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball?" He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can't lose it." His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!" The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it." Obviously, his friend doesn't believe him, but the guy shows his friend all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball?!" The man replies, "I found it." -------- Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it, because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek, and one day, the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen, so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek! He got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?" The boy answered 'yes.' Then he thought a moment, and explained, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree, and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree." -------- On the first day of school the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?" -------- A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Columbia." The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK ... but don't let me catch you speeding again." -------- A poultry farmer was experimenting to breed turkeys with more legs for greater profits. Finally, he succeeded. While narrating the results to his friends, he told them, "The turkey I bred had six legs!" His friends, who had got quite excited, eagerly asked, "What about the taste?" The farmer said with a long-drawn face, "I have no idea. Can't catch it." -------- _ __ (") Ehhh... A user-friendly / ') Hrrrmph! _T_ `-.interface to kitchen- ( (T -.__.! /\_/\ utensils? / ) / .H. | /) (\ O | | O O ( ( O H H /,`.\ ] | [ (/ (\ (_|_) |\. |\. Ojosh!ro >Things to Ponder Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them. Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected? Take my advice - I'm not using it. My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met. I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious. Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were. Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust. Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool. I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? When I married Mr. Right, I had no idea his first name was Always. My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way. There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. He who laughs last thinks slowest. Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly? Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type. I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it. I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me. I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep. If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? Money is the root of all wealth. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) , , / \ ((__-^^-,-^^-__)) `-_---' `---_-' <__|o` 'o|__> \ ` / ): :( :o_o: "-" [pb] >Funnies Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." With just $1 left, she realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'" The telegraph operator shakes his head. " How will she know what you mean, if you only send her the word, 'comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slowly." -<>- ,'-', :-----: (''' , - , ''') \ ' . , ` / \ ' ^ ? / \ ` - ,' `j_ _,' ,- -`\ \ /f ,- \_\/_/'- , `, , , /\ \ | / \ ', , f : :`, , <...\ , : ,- ' \,,,,\ ; : j ' \ \ :/^^^^' \ \ ; ''': \ -, -`.../ ' - -,`,--` \_._'-- '---: Storm A farmhand went to church one Sunday, but when he entered he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the farmhand if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. "Well," said the farmhand, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd still feed him." So the minister began his sermon. An hour passed, then two hours, then two and a half hours. Finally the preacher finished and asked the farmhand whether he had enjoyed the sermon. "Well," said the farmhand, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay." -<>- Some years ago, there was a Mensa Convention in San Francisco. Mensa, as you know, is a national organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher. Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local cafe. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa minds. The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..." But before they could finish the waitress interrupted them. “Oh, sorry about that." She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles, and switched them. There was dead silence at the Mensa table. This reminds me of our government: solutions could be so simple, but the brilliant minds in Washington have to make them so complicated. -<>- .----. ===(_)== THIS WONT HURT A BIT... // 6 6 \\ / ( 7 ) \ '--' / \_ ._/ __) (__ /"`/`\`V/`\`\ / \ `Y _/_ \ / [DR]\_ |/ / /\ | ( \/ / / / \ \ \ / \ `-/` _.` jgs `=. `=./ `"` (An Et-Ahem) One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor!" So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample... He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco." That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the Computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure. Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Thank you for shopping at Costco! --- ...Oh For Goodness Sake! LOL! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Trump Heartwarming FULL SPEECH: President Donald Trump at MASSIVE MAGA RALLY in Pensacola, FL 12/8/17 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1bB3fU8oS4 Our long journey to the stars—and the Moon Forty-five years ago today, NASA’s final Apollo mission landed on the surface of the Moon. No human has walked there since. This afternoon, President Donald J. Trump will tell the country that it’s time to refocus our vision for American space exploration. In signing Space Policy Directive 1 today—the first recommendation of the recently reconvened National Space Council—the President will shift NASA’s resources and attention toward the Moon and Mars. Given its relative closeness, the Moon in particular offers humans the best hope for long-term exploration and utilization. President Ronald Reagan once eloquently captured the sweep of mankind as “his long climb from the swamp to the stars.” With President Trump’s order today, America commits itself once again to writing the next chapter of that story. Watch the signing ceremony today at 3:00 p.m. EST. https://tinyurl.com/y8bt2by9 1600 Daily https://tinyurl.com/ycnfhqoz Survey: US businesses added a solid 190,000 jobs in November - The Associated Press https://tinyurl.com/ycuykyng Mike Pence: ‘Trump is a believer’ - The Washington Examiner https://tinyurl.com/y738jmpj Why President Trump is right to recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital - The Washington Free Beacon https://tinyurl.com/y7xv3pmf Bob Mueller vs. Ken Starr: A Classic Media Double Standard. http://em.mrc.org/ympR6dqL0K0YSB108q00000 CNN mocked for airing segment on Trump's soda consumption while NYC faced terror attack https://tinyurl.com/yd3sebao Tragedy as famous daredevil climber plunges to death from well-known skyscraper https://tinyurl.com/y87gl8lm 'Jaws' spotted? Massive great white shark sighted off Australian coast https://tinyurl.com/y9x89g7m Latest From MRC News: https://tinyurl.com/ya6uruck Latest From TrueDailyNews: http://truedaily.news/category/news/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: Many people have been complaining about delivery packages that have gone missing from their porches. Now, the mystery may have been solved, at least in one Ohio neighborhood. Police were called after someone saw a young boy stealing a package from a home. The child then got into a red Toyota Corolla that was driven by a teenager. Police pulled over the vehicle and found the 10-year-old boy and a teenage driver along with 21 stolen packages. Authorities said that the shipping labels on the packages showed that the items were taken from different houses in the Mentor area. Officers also found marijuana and drug paraphernalia inside the car. Officers arrested 18-year-old Corey Whalen. She faces charges of theft, receiving stolen property, marijuana possession, possessing marijuana paraphernalia, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The 10-year-old boy was also arrested. He was referred to Lake County Juvenile Court. Police haven't revealed the relationship between Whalen and the boy. *--------------- Museum of Fail ---------------* A pop-up museum dedicated to failed products is kicking off its U.S. tour in Los Angeles. Conceived by Sweden-based clinical psychologist Samuel West, who specializes in work- place innovation, this celebration of failure launched to sold-out crowds in Sweden. "It's hilarious to think of the Museum of Failure as a success," West told the Los Angeles Times. "I didn't expect it. I was, and still am, shocked that I'm opening my little museum in Los Angeles." West said the "Failure" moniker isn't meant to be an insult to the more than 100 products found within. The exhibit includes famous failures such as the DeLorean DMC-12, the Apple Newton MessagePad and coffee-flavored Coca-Cola BlaK. The museum also features lesser-known commercial flops, including I'm Back and You're Fired! Trump, the Game; Colgate-brand frozen dinners; Volvo's all-plastic Itera bicycle; and WiFi-enabled juicer Juicerio. The museum also includes a "Failure Confession Booth" where visitors can anonymously post their own failures for others to see. *----------- Smelly, Smelly Revenge -----------* An Oregon mother targeted by package thieves got back at the culprits with a decoy box filled with her infant son's soiled diapers. Angie Boliek posted a photo to Facebook showing the box of diapers she put out for thieves on her porch along with a note reading, "Enjoy this you thief!" Boliek said the initial stolen package contained 4-month-old Ben's new Christmas pajamas. The mother said she put the box of dirty diapers out on Sunday and it was gone by Monday evening. "I wanted to get my own, I guess, passive-aggressive revenge," Boliek said. Boliek said she reported the theft to the police and she and her husband are looking into installing a security camera on their porch. *------ Should Have Stayed In His Sleigh ------* A skydiving Santa looking to make a grand entrance while taking an Elf on the Shelf to a 9-year-old girl crashed into a tree and light pole before hitting a Florida beach and breaking his leg. George Krokus was dressed as Santa Claus during a skydive to deliver toys to the Tampa Bay Beach Bums Operation Santa Charity Volleyball Tournament. Madison Spiers saw the crash and later found a note from the "elf" named Kristoff who visits her house during the holidays. It said, "As we were about to land, this big tree jumped right out in front of us!" The elf sported a bandaged leg while staying with the recovering Krokus. *------------ Forget Amusement Parks ------------* A Kentucky teenager realized a long-held dream after he hand- built a roller coaster in his own backyard. Logan Moore, 16, said he has always been fascinated with roller coasters and wanted to build one himself. And after a year in carpentry class, he devised a plan to do so. Moore worked on his project for two months over the summer. "I mean in the summer it would be one, two, three o'clock in the morning and he would still be out here working," Moore's grandmother, Frieda Baker, said. "One thing I wanna say is, don't ever think you can't do something because I sure didn't think I could build this. But I did," he said. "I'm going to keep this for a little while and then I may do another one, may redesign this one, but I will wait on that just a little bit because it's been a lot of work," Moore said. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ('. \ \ Y | ,--. ;_ (,7 | | |_ /___\| | LJ :---:| |/__\ |===|\~/---: '---'/T\===| .', \--' / ; .; ;.-'-". \ snd "..' When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?!' -<>- An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be five years from now?" "Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now." -<>- A man is sitting in a fancy restaurant when his food finally arrives at his table. As the plate is being served the man notices the waiter has his thumb resting on the edge of his steak. "Umm, excuse me," the man says, "but I couldn't help but notice you had your thumb on my steak." "Yes, I know, sir," the waiter responds, "but I didn't want to drop it again." Many people hold down two jobs these days, so I wasn't surprised when my hairdresser mentioned to me that he also worked part-time at the race track. "That's interesting," I said. "What do you do?" As he finished styling my hair, he replied, "I groom horses." -<>- "Do you remember first meeting your wife?" "Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I'd never allow her near the gutter again." "Wow, what an incredible story! I hope she appreciates what you did for her." "Not really. Even though she stunk at it, Jill hated to give up bowling." -<>- A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me! Mommy said we came from monkeys." His father replied, "No, your mother was talking about her side of the family." ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: _ _ _ _ _ ( " " " " ) .gggppp. l : :$P_ _T$; | | ( , . ) | _| ; '--' : |_ _/ l)_ ; -- ): |(""" `-' l "------"t-. ___ |-' _.' /"j-.-,t' \ \ .-.C' "..' | ; / .^./ :_"-.\ ; ;' ;":--._;- : : .'. ______j____J____t___Lj________ :_ :_; )) :"-.__ t .-.| ;/ ,-+. ,-----. \ : " "; :"--._"""/ \/ :\ // : : | \ \ _____;C ) ; .; ""-`t'\.'\\Y/ "" |_______; _j / _| /-.-._____: / ; `. '-/ _/// ,--------. |_ _: / """jj'/-/.____.-: : : \ ;.' /\"y / /l |-"""""-; / : / /_ . ;-. ; : \ / / / /_ / ; """"""" : ___:/ // )' : ; ; ; \.'"--' / \ """""--: / |"""" _.; /(.-\ / : : ; ; / /""""---(|/ | )--| """"_.-`..' ; : ; : / """""----' '--..'--""t" : ; : ; / \ ; : ; :.__ / \ / ; : `^$$$pppy tp._.gj / `. "^$$P T$$^' .' ""--._/ bug \__.-" [respect to Scott Adams!] >Quotes: These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves. -- Gilbert Highet If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and ... if they had been any better, I should not have come. -- Raymond Chandler The wild dream is the first step to reality. — Norman Cousins I don’t look to jump over 7-foot bars. I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over. — Warren Buffett -<>- A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, 'You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.' The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.' God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, 'Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.' God answered, 'It is done.' All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, 'Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?' The cat purrrred, 'Oh, it is WONDERFUL! I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!' -<>- One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu." "Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Huan Cho Begged. "But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon." "Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me." Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu." Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang... "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year." And so do I! MERRY CHRISTMAS -<>- If you don't laugh at least once while reading this there is something wrong with you WHAT NOT TO DO a. ---._ _`8P . ` \`| ___.8 / ( / __(P --. \ \( ( _. \\\ ___ |/_ ` \ `_,/ \--( ">'__.(-' `-/ `- \_( _____..stuMBLE (__.----. (_ ] `\__(\|/ | `" | [________________a:f____________________ >STUN GUN (Only a guy would do this!) Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: 'Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs... Awesome! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Betty what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Was I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER!, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-GUN... that hurt like heck! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I’m still looking for various body parts… -<>- , , , , |\_.'/ )`-'\__, |\_/ .`(_ / `. ( _| . '_.-'` '--. `'. '-(_)' ( /.-. `(_)(_)`--' ` \/ / . '-. '`) : ( `-. ' .-' )'/ jgs `; >Mistletoe at the Airport It was slightly before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood. Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointier parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way. With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe." "Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is." (pause) "OK, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss." "That's not why it's there." (pause) "OK, (sigh) I give up. Why is it there?" "It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye." ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Got A Nanosecond 5? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano5.htm Shopping With Men! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menshopping.html World's Most Expressive Cat! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/expressivecat.html Only One Job 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onejob4.html Metropolitan Museum Of Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/metmuseumart.html Sweet Baby Animals! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyanimals3.html Redneck Christmas Tree! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redneck.html Old Trains And Cars! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trainsandcars.html Morons At Work 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork4.html Thoughts Into Action 10! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action10.html Redneck Innovations! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redneckinnovations.html Old Stars And Cars! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/starscars.html Santa Ho Ho Oh No! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/santa.html Things Defining The 1950's! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/1950things.html Puppy Days Of Christmas! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/puppychristmas.html Christmas Index Page! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- >Please Follow/Visit Me On StumbleUpon: https://tinyurl.com/y86f27fz -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) LOCKED IN THE FIFTY"S The music will get you... even if you don't want to watch the slide show.. http://safeshare.tv/w/FEDEwZHZXu This is a keeper for those who love planes, Note 215 great pics from the USAF Museum. Enjoy! http://www.cdsg.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=381 --- ...Wow! Spectacular! Thanks Geniann! Government gone wild! watch this video and give it serious thought... https://www.youtube.com/embed/xOAgT8L_BqQ --- ...Yes, D.C. has some of the richest people! Deep state for sure! Glad Trump is getting rid of a bunch of Obama's regulations! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Let It Snow! http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/letitsnow.html --- ...Beautiful! Thanks Melody! Here's More... Frosty! http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/frosty.html It's Beginning To Look A lot Like Christmas http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/beginningtolook.html ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Amazon is now making it possible to create a shopping profile for your cat. Yeah, all you have to do is go to Amazon and type in 'I am single.'" -Conan O'Brien "A new study found that bacon and freshly baked bread are Americans' favorite smells. Yeah, this morning instead of putting on cologne, I just rubbed my neck with a B.L.T." -Jimmy Fallon "An Italian winery is releasing five limited-edition bottles of Hello Kitty-themed wine for the holiday season. It's the perfect gift for your alcoholic niece." -Seth Meyers "Two hundred cows recently died in a field in Wisconsin. Nobody knows the cause of death, but they suspect boredom." -Conan O'Brien "A brewery in Oregon is coming out with a new Sriracha- flavored beer. That's right, beer that tastes like hot sauce. They said it's the perfect beverage for finding out if you're an alcoholic: 'There's only one beer left and it has hot sauce in it - just give it to me!'" -Jimmy Fallon "An Ohio-based company made a cup holder for dip that attaches to a dashboard so you can eat chips and dip while you drive. I don't have a joke about this, I just wanted to remind you we're still the greatest country in the world." -Conan O'Brien "A new study has found that specially trained pigeons can have up to an 85 percent accuracy rate of detecting breast cancer in humans. Which means that 15 percent of the time it's just a pigeon staring at your boobs." -Seth Meyers "Astronomers announced today that they have discovered an earth-sized planet in our corner of the galaxy that is potentially habitable by humans. Yeah, they think the planet may have breathable air and drinkable water, which is impressive because we barely have those things here in Los Angeles. The planet in question orbits a star called Ross 128. It's part of a larger system that includes Chandler, Joey and Monica 128." -James Corden >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************