Money - Money - Money By The Pound ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ ___-------___ _-~~ ~~-_ _-~ /~-_ /^\__/^\ /~ \ S H A N G R A L A / \ /| O|| O| / \_______________/ \ | |___||__| / / \ \ | \ / / \ \ | (_______) /______/ F A M I L Y \_________ \ | / / \ / \ \ \^\\ \ F U N ! / \ / \ || \______________/ _-_ //\__// \ ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~ ~\ || __/ ~-----||====/~ |==================| |/~~~~~ (_(__/ ./ / \_\ \. (_(___/ -jurcy- \_____)_) *~* We NEED MORE 2009 CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2009 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ *~* In Honor Of D-DAY And To Our Sweet VETS - THANK YOU!! WWII Human Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html Military WWII Posters! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/militarywwii.html -<>- >-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) >We've Got TWO Smokin' Hot New Pages! This first one I've been working on for a little while. It comes from a forward from our good friend Fig. I was immediately stunned by it but as always, I looked it up first to make sure it wasn't a hoax. What I found out made me do some web searches to find 'The Rest Of The Story'. Once I got it all together, then I could present it in an awesome page that I hope will please you too! Check it out here: .--------------. |~ ~| |H____________H| |.------------.| ||::.. __ || |'--------'--''| | '. ______ .' | | _ |======| _ | |(_)|======|(_)| |___|======|___| [______________] |##| |##| jrei '""' '"" Advertising Truck Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/truckart.html This second one is pretty awesome too. I got shivers when I viewed the first picture - sort of like love at first sight. This artist is pretty cool. His photos are from Hawaii and he is so good, that you feel like you are actually there! Check this one out from our dear friend Viv. %%%% %%%%-( _%%%%%_/ \ ' / _%%%%%%%% - (_) - _%%%%%%%/ \% / , \ %%%%%%%%%\\ \_ %%%%%% \ \\ ) /\_/ /(___. \ '----' ( / ) ---....____/ (_____ __ _ ___ ___ __ _ _ _____ _ _ ___ / )---...___ =-= = -_= -=_= _-=_-_ -=- =-_ ,' ( ```--.._= -_= -_= _-=- -_= _=- ,-' ) ``--._=-_ =-=_-= _-= _ '-._ '-..___( ``-._=_-=_- =_-= ``---....__) `-._-=_-_=- )|)| `-._=-_ gnv '-'-.\_ `-. Wave Photography Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/waveart.html --- ...Thank You So Much Fig And Viv! You Bless Us! ============================================================= >-->From The FunnyBone: Be Careful What You Sign! Private Jones was assigned to the Army induction center, where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their Serviceman's Group Life Insurance |\ (SGLI). It wasn't long before the center's || .---. Lieutenant noticed that Private Jones had almost ||/_____\ a 100% record for insurance sales, which had ||( '.' ) never happened before. Rather than ask about || \_-_/_ this, the Lt. stood in the back of the room :-"`'V'//-. and listened to Jones's sales pitch. / , |// , `\ / /|Ll //Ll|| | Jones explained the basics of the SGLI to the /_/||__// || | new recruits, and then said. "If you have SGLI \ \/---|[]==|| | and go into battle and are killed, the government \/\__/ | \| | has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If /|/_ | Ll_\ | you don't have SGLI, and you go into battle and `--|`^"""^`||_| get killed, the government has to pay only a | | ||/ maximum of $6000." | | | | | | "Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think | | | they are going to send into battle first?" L___l___J |_ | _| jgs (___|___) ^^^ ^^^ ================================================================= +-------------- More Bizarre June Holidays ---------------+ June 11 is National Hug Holiday and King Kamehameha Day June 12 is Machine Day June 13 is National Juggling Day and Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day June 14 is Pop Goes The Weasel Day June 15 is Smile Power Day June 16 is National Hollerin' Contest Day June 17 is Watergate Day and Eat Your Vegetables Day June 18 is International Panic Day June 19 is World Sauntering Day June 20 is Ice Cream Soda Day =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) (\ /) \/ W.Madison \/ (\ /) (X) o00- _ _ -00o (X) (/|\) (')< >(') (/|\) | (@ ) ( @) | \|/|||||||||| ^^ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ^^ ||||wsm|||\|/ ~~~~ ~~~~ >Old Fashioned Home Remedies For The Garden Are you tired of running to your local garden center every time one of your plants is overtaken by a new fungus or an infestation of insects? Are you sick of spending extra dollars on a concoction that you aren’t even sure is effective and that you think might be doing some harm to the environment, animals and your loved ones? But what to do? I’ve got the answer right here with a list of old fashioned home made remedies: some of which have been passed on from other gardeners and/or their mothers or grandmothers. Practically all of the ingredients used in these homemade recipes can be retrieved from you kitchen or medicine cabinets at home. BAKING SODA Baking soda can be used to ward off black spot, a terrible fungus that usually hits roses by late Spring. The most effective recipe I’ve found is the Cornell one which is: 1Tblsp. of baking soda with 1 tsp. of dishwashing detergent to 1 gallon of water. Mix together and spray on roses early in the morning once a week until disease has disappeared. BEER Beer is an old time favorite for getting rid of slugs and snails. This is how you do it. Place the beer (it doesn’t matter what brand) in either shallow pans or a cut down some paper cups to about 1”tall. The pests will crawl into the pans or cups and drown themselves. VEGETABLE OIL Believe it or not, if you mix 1 cup of vegetable oil with 1 Tblsp. of dishwashing liquid together and then take 1 Tblsp. of this concoction and mix it with 1 Cup of water, you now have a formula to get rid of aphids. Aphids are very tiny insects that suck the sap from a plant ultimately weakening it. If your leaves look curled and deformed, look under the leaves closely and you may find a colony of aphids. HOT JALAPENO PEPPERS I was once told by a listener on my radio show that after trying all of the concoctions to get rid of moles, gophers and groundhogs, he planted jalapeno peppers within 4” from the area that they were invading. And voila! They ran for cover after taking a test of these hot veggies. I'm going to try this advice but will divide the hot peppers in half when I plant them. I think he is on the right track because Hot Pepper Spray (a prepared organic spray) is sold in garden centers as a remedy for getting rid of rabbits, squirrels, moles, voles and groundhogs. CASTOR OIL Castor Oil sprays are sold in garden centers as a solution to get rid of groundhogs and deer. I would be tempted to go to a pharmacy or health food store and just buy myself a bottle of castor oil and dilute with water and spray on affected areas to see if it works. PEPPERMINT OIL & GRIT Peppermint oil is good deterrent for ants who have invaded your garden or home. You can either saturate cotton balls with it or mix in a spray bottle with water and spray where needed. GRITS sprinkled in the garden are also supposed to be an effective way to kill off ants. VINEGAR (and Lemon Juice) Vinegar has become a well known organic way of eradicating weeds. Some people say that they're able to get rid of weeds merely by spraying household vinegar on them. Others say that you need to buy a higher concentration of vinegar in order for it to be effective. I would check one of the bottled organic vinegar solutions at your garden center to see what concentration of vinegar they're using. It wouldn’t hurt to add lemon juice to your homemade weed killing formula either. Word has it that the combo of vinegar and lemon juice is a dynamo for killing weeds. BUTTERMILK So you think that buttermilk is just a method for helping pots get that aged look or for getting moss to grow? Well, think again. For those pesky mites, the teeny tiny, reddish insects that you can barely see with the naked eye (but that can do tremendous damage to a plant in what seems like no time at all causing yellow foliage and twisted leaf tips), here is a homemade formula that is sure to solve your mite problem. Mix ½ Cup of buttermilk with 4 cups of wheat flour and 5 gallons of water. Strain this mixture through a cheesecloth. Spray it onto the diseased plants. It will kill all of the mites and their eggs. GARLIC A mixture of 1 chopped garlic bulb and 1 Tblsp. of cayenne pepper steeped in 1-2 quart of water creates a mixture that will help keep cats and dogs out of the garden. Adding 1 tsp. of liquid dishwashing soap to help this spicy combination adhere to the plant. Strain the portion that you are going to use and spray onto the plant leaves. The remainder of the formula can stay fresh in the fridge for several weeks. IRISH SPRING SOAP Cut up a bar of Irish Spring Soap and cut the end of an old pair of panty hose. Put the piece of soap in the panty hose and tie onto the trees and bushes where the deer have done damage. Before you know it, the deer will be gone. They can’t stand the smell of Irish Spring. SUNLIGHT DISHWASHING LIQUID Quite a few listeners from my show swear that the brand name of “Sunlight Dishwashing Liquid” is the one remedy that works 100% of the time on mites. Mix 1 Tblsp. of Sunlight with 1 gallon of water. OLIVE OIL If you place 1 Tblsp of olive oil on any water surface, it will prevent mosquitoes from breeding there. RUBBING ALCOHOL When in doubt, I go to my medicine cabinet and get out the old rubbing alcohol. I soak a few cotton balls in the alcohol and rub on the infected area for such insects as: spider mites, aphids, slugs and whiteflies. It may take a few times before you successfully get rid of these pests, but eventually it does work. Rubbing alcohol is a 'must have' for the garden. LEMON JUICE and SUGAR In order to keep cut flowers fresher for a longer period of time, I add 1 Tblsp. of lemon juice and 1 Tblsp. of sugar to a container 2/3 filled with cool or tepid water. --- ...Great Tips! Thank Jo Ann! -<>- ) )) ( (( /) ,-===-// |`-===-'| ' ' \_____/ gpyy `-----' >The Wooden Bowl A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year - old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. 'We must do something about father,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.' So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..' I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on God, your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. ********************* This is to all of you who mean something to me, I pray for your happiness. Pass It On To All Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love! May God richly bless you! -<>- _ / ) |||| / / ||||/ / \__(_/ ||// ||/ || (|| hjw "" >Woman and a Fork There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. "There's one more thing," she said excitedly. "What's that?" came the Pastor's reply. "This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand." The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked. "Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor. The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!' So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork .the best is yet to come." The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming. At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care. Remember to always be there for them, even when you need them more. For you never know when it may be their time to "Keep your fork." Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share .... being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND even if it means sending back to the person who sent it to you. -<>- >THAT'S GOD! Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for? THAT'S GOD! He talks to you through the Holy Spirit. Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to? THAT'S GOD! He wants you to talk to Him. Have you ever been thinking about someone that you haven't seen in a long time and then, the next thing you know, you see them or receive a phone call from them? THAT'S GOD! There is no such thing as "coincidence." Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted but couldn't afford? THAT'S GOD! He knows the desires of your heart. Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it? THAT'S GOD! He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day. In all we do, if we remember to give total thanks to God, our blessings will continue to be multiplied... And I count you among my greatest blessings! Thinking of you and hope it brightens your day! And I will send showers, showers of blessings, which will come just when they are needed. Ezekiel 34:26 (NLT) --- ...Aww, so sweet! Thank You Jo Ann! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Maxy's Pal :) >Into My Life By Southbreeze http://tinyurl.com/ntdg3e -<>- >For Classic Music Lovers... These three teenagers may be the replacements for Pavarotti, and the Domingo's and the Carreras in the near future. Holy cow...can they sing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqUkUjeF4-c --- ...Awesome! Thank You Pat! Got me SITing to God with much joy! , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' SITing means speaking in tongues - Check out... Day Of Pentecost http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/dayofpentecost.html -<>- >Are generic drugs a bad bargain? - TODAY's Health http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/30940044/ -<>- _ __..--''/\ _..-''_.\`| / \ \`-._ `.-'_ / \ \ ``-.(|\)`._ \ \ ,' `-._\ \ / _..--'' \/_..-'' SSt >Letter to my child *Just for this morning, I am going to step over The laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play. *Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes In the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together. *Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles. *Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes by. *Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned. *Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them. *Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys. *Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you. *Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. *Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars. *Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows. *Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift Ever given. *I will think about the mothers And fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore. *And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day to do this all over again with you. --- ...Sweet!! Thank You Maxy's Pal! -<>- ___ (___) /` `\ / /"\ \ \_/o o\_/ ( _ ) `\ /` /\\V//\ / /_ _\ \ \ \___/ / \/===\/ || || || || ||___|| |_____| jgs ||| / Y \ `"`"` >If My Body Were a Car If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ...But that's not the worst of it.? My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it -- Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires! --- ...Teehee! Thanks Maxy's Pal! Reminds me of this one from Maxine: Maxine On Jesus http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonjesus.html =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Viv :) She sent us two funnies. One a funny movie and the other a funny picture. I was able to upload both to our group. Check them out here... Friday Vs Monday http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/files/ The last photo here... http://tinyurl.com/qy8pjy --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Viv! -<>- MONEY - MONEY - MONEY By THE POUND!! ) ) __ ( __ (~( __ (~( \O\ )~) )O) )_) (O( (_(__ ( )_) ) )~)__ __ /O/ )~) ) (~( (_( (O( __ \O\ ) )_)(~( \_\ __ )O) ( __________ _ (~( __(_( __ _-' `-_ ,-----' | _ \O\<'~_`) ) )~) / *Dreams* \ | // : | -' )_))^ \\ __(O( ___| If Only it were | | // : | --- >__;` (~( )_) `-. ALL MINE!!!!! | | // : | -._ /\_\ \O\ \ YEEHAH!!! / `-----._| __ /__( \| )_) `--___________--' _/___\_ //)_`/( (| ||] _____[_______]_[~~-_ (.L)O) || [____________________]' (_(,/(~( ||| / )~) ,___,'./\O\ ||| \ (O(|,'______|( )_) ||| / )_) I==|| __ ||| \ __/_|| __||__)~) -----||-/------`-._/||-o-_o__(O(-- __ ~~~~~' ____ __ /_O_/.\_\ \~\ \_O_\ /~/__/_/O`.o. \O\ ____ /O/_\_O/_/ `.' . \_\ /_O_/ /_/\_O_\ \O\ ,o,' \_\ `.' Ool >What does $1,000,000,000,000.00 (1 trillion dollars) Look like? http://www.pagetutor.com/trillion/index.html --- ...Thank You Viv! My Goodness! That is a horrible hole we are digging! Do you realize where we are getting this money? We are borrowing it from China! http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/row/RL34314.pdf That is crazy! Like when you borrow for a home or a car, the real owner is the bank - well our country's real owner will be China! If they'd demand immediate repayment, our country would have to go bankrupt! Why are we putting ourselves deeper in this hole? ================================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From CCA: High school students strike back at ACLU and political correctness Thankfully in America, there are still young Americans who are not afraid to strike back at the left-wing's political correctness movement. And a great example of this occurred last Saturday when several hundred graduating high school seniors stood in protest during their graduation ceremony at Pace High School in Santa Rosa County, Florida because the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) had filed a lawsuit against the high school administration claiming the principal and some teachers supported religion. What these courageous hundreds of graduating high school seniors did was to recite the Lord's Prayer during their graduation ceremony. Some of the students carried the protest further by painting a cross on the top of their graduation caps. The ACLU and judges legislating from the bench should not be allowed to undermine religious freedom and the First Amendment rights of Christians in America. Unfortunately, the school district had agreed to a consent decree which prohibited school district employees from being involved in religious activities or offering prayers at school functions... (Read More) http://tinyurl.com/nw72yr American Values Survey Given the changes in Washington, it is urgent that political leaders understand that America's Christian voters expect strong moral leadership in government. Leadership that respects and reflects our values - not attacks them at every opportunity. That's why we're conducting a massive survey of America's politically active Christians - so we can show the politicians and the media exactly where we stand. We're surveying hundreds of thousands of conservative Christians nationwide, and we want to make sure your voice is included... http://www.cc.org/webform/american_values_survey -<>- >From Patriot FAX DC: Government vs Gun Owners The Ultimate Gun Fax is waiting for your approval! If you like what you see, then lets blister Washington and let them know we are a tough bunch, WE THE PEOPLE RULE! "I am deeply concerned that Washington thinks they are in charge. We must remind them they are our day laborers and they do our bidding" Minuteman Steve - FaxDC To look around and read stuff: http://www.faxdc.com/ "The most deadly attack is at night, when no one is watching, things are quiet and all seems well." Minuteman Steve -<>- >From OneNewsNow: A swing to conservatism in Europe? http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=557882 -<>- >From Taipan Daily: Government Motors Is Dead. Long Live Government Motors: The toppling of the great American giant automaker, General Motors, came after a three-decade long death march, says Justice Litle. It’s corporate obesity that led to its downfall. After 80 years as top automaker, GM got so big and bulky, it thought it would remain forever. Justice said the company made long-term deals that gave more and more power and money to unions and politicians… And started its slow transformation to become Government Motors. Is this the first transformation of many? Is GM the tipping point for America to slide into Marxism? Justice Litle answers that charge here… http://tinyurl.com/l5xm57 Bernanke Puts Congress on Double Secret Probation: Is Congress like Delta House from Animal House? Are they going through this recession, as Justice parallels, “fat, drunk and stupid?” If so, then Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke just became Dean Wormer, putting Congress on notice. “We cannot allow ourselves to be in a situation where the debt continues to rise,” Bernanke said. “That means more and more interest payments, which swell the deficit, which leads to an unsustainable situation.” And when Congress adds hundreds of billions of dollars in new debt to the market, it’s the Fed’s job to absorb it all. Justice explains the complications of drunken frat boys spending billions here… http://tinyurl.com/lark3b -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Boy, 11, sticks 43 snails to his face ----------- SANDY, Utah - A Utah boy stuck 43 snails to his face during his 11th birthday party, setting a possible world record if it is certified by Guinness. Chris Keheler said the unusual birthday celebration for his son, Fin, in Sandy, Utah, resulted from a Guinness Book of World Records he obtained last autumn, KSL-TV, Salt Lake City, reported Thursday. "We started leafing through it and he saw a record he thought he could break," Keheler said of his son, who performed the feat at his birthday party Saturday. "I thought I could totally beat that because I'm not grossed out by snails like most people are," Fin Keheler said. The boy and his parents said the record in the book was eight, but the record had grown to 36 by the time they completed their Guinness paperwork for the planned attempt and some- one in London managed 37 last week. However, the 11-year- old managed to cover his face in 43 snails in one minute, a time limit set by Guinness, and stood still without any of the mollusks falling off. The Kehelers said they are sending video and witness accounts of the event to Guinness for official certification. -- Litterbug released after 4 years in jail --------- ALTAMONTE SPRINGS, Fla. - A Florida man who littered his yard with junk including toilets and a statue of buttocks has been released from prison after serving four years. Alan Davis of Seminole County was originally convicted in 2003 on a felony criminal littering charge for what he called a political protest, In 1999, he began covering the roof and yard of his home with toilets, airplane parts, scrap metal, a giant statue of buttocks and other objects his neighbors found objectionable. He was sentenced to one year in jail. However, he was jailed for three more years after incurring multiple parole violations following his release. Davis was released from prison Wednesday. The exterior of his home is currently clear, except for some tall weeds, WKMG-TV, Orlando, Fla., reported. -- Cemeteries are the newest wedding sites --------- BROOKFIELD, Wis. - Cemeteries such as the Wisconsin Memorial Park in Brookfield, Wis., have begun hosting weddings as part of a new service trend, industry officials say. Stewart Enterprises Inc. spokeswoman Denise Wester- field, whose company operates the Brookfield cemetery, said funeral homes make an ideal wedding site given the changing perception of death in society, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported Wednesday. "Funerals are becoming much more a celebration of life than a dark event, so why not have your wedding at a funeral home?" Westerfield said. Jessica Koth, National Funeral Directors Association spokes- woman, said a growing number of cemeteries and funeral homes have begun expanding their businesses to include everything from weddings to bar mitzvahs. "It's something that more and more funeral homes are looking at, whether they're remodeling existing facilities or building new additions," Koth told the Journal Sentinel. ============================================================= >-->News from our friend Richard :) __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || Friends, family and associates, If you ever find your self in Sylvester GA there is a quaint little Italian Joint called Kelandi's Italian Kitchen. The Owners are my son Andy and his business partner and significant other Kelli Baker. My son and Kelli opened a restaurant on June 3rd. I had the honor to be there and have one of the first meals. Sylvester GA is just outside the Marine Corps Logistics Base at Albany GA. Andy makes his own Pizza sauce and it's really good. If you ever find yourself there go for a good lunch or supper. Pizza, pasta, sandwiches and etc. Hours 11-7 closed Monday's Andy left the Law Enforcement world and decided to make his fortune as a restaurateur. 2522 Hwy 82 West, Sylvester, GA (located between Webb's Propane an Singletary Tire.) Just outside of town. Dick --- ...Thanks for the info Richard! Folks, Just drop in and tell 'em - 'Shangy sent ya'! That'll keep them guessing! ================================================================ >-->From Laugh&Lift: >Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow 1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code. 2. Graphics arrive via FedEx. 3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection. 4. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it displays a week later. 5. Your credit card expires while ordering online. 6. ESPN Web site exhibits "Heisman Trophy Winner"...for 1989. 7. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "PacMan". 8. Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump. 9. You receive e-mails with stamps on them. 10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out. -<>- \\\\ .===. | c '' | | | , U | | ______________________ E, _=__ | | .----------------------.' \\ / __\_______ | | ,----, |/ \\// | | | |/ /|--------------------' |\ \/ \| | | .-----' | / / ' . | \___________ |______m___| `==| | | / / .: ' \ | |(_ //\\ | | | \_\--------/ \|___________| // \\ _ | | | | )=--=( | .: , , // \\// | |/ | )=--=( | :.,/ PN , ;', . /___, \/ '-----' /--------\ , > . : >NEW COMPANY POLICIES The following policies are hereby effective immediately: SICKNESS: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25 BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is enough to keep the job going in your absence. YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your replacement. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm bell will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open. LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast & take a diet pill. PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks: Gross pay $1,222.02 Income tax $ 244.40 Outgo tax $ 45.21 State tax $ 11.61 Interstate tax $ 61.10 County tax $ 6.11 City tax $ 12.22 Rural tax $ 4.44 Back tax $ 1.11 Front tax $ 1.16 Side tax $ 1.61 Up tax $ 2.22 Down tax $ 1.11 Tic-Tacs $ 1.98 Thumbtacks $ 3.93 Carpet tacks $ 0.98 Stadium tax $ 0.69 Flat tax $ 8.32 Surtax $ 3.46 Corporate tax $ 2.60 Parking fee $ 5.00 F.I.C.A. $ 81.88 T.G.I.F. Fund $ 9.95 Life insurance $ 5.85 Health insurance $ 16.23 Dental insurance $ 4.50 Mental insurance $ 4.33 Reassurance $ 0.11 Disability $ 2.50 Ability $ 0.25 Liability $ 3.41 Unreliability $ 10.99 Coffee $ 6.85 Coffee Cups $ 66.51 Floor rental $ 16.85 Chair rental $ 0.32 Desk rental $ 4.32 Union dues $ 5.85 Union don'ts $ 3.77 Cash advance $ 0.69 Cash retreats $ 121.35 Overtime $ 1.26 Undertime $ 54.83 Eastern time $ 9.00 Central time $ 8.00 Mountain time $ 7.00 Pacific time $ 6.00 Time Out $ 12.21 Oxygen $ 10.02 Water $ 16.54 Heat $ 51.42 Cool air $ 26.83 Hot air $ 20.00 Miscellaneous $ 113.29 Sundry $ 12.09 Various $ 8.01 Net Take Home Pay $ 0.02 Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week. SUBSCRIBE INFO Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com --- ...Reminds me of our page here: New Office Policy http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/office.html =============================================================== >-->From JokeCentral: Golden Telephone A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign that read "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the preacher he asked about the phone and the sign. The preacher answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the preacher and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Austin, Michigan, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each preacher. Finally, he arrived in Minnesota. Upon entering a church in Minneapolis, Minnesota behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 25 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the preacher. "Preacher, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 25 cents a call. Why?" I just love this part------ The preacher, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Minnesota now, and it's a local call." ================ _____ /~/~ ~\ | | \ \ \ \ \ \ \ --\ \ .\'' --==\ \ ,,i!!i, ''"'',,}{,, >Here are some funny epitaphs from real tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young. In a London, England cemetery: Ann Mann Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising. Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays Butch, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw. A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery: Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803 His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted. A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont: I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours. Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona: Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a .44 No Les No More. In a Georgia cemetery: "I told you I was sick!" John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader if cash thou art In want of any Dig 4 feet deep And thou wilt find a Penny. On Margaret Daniels' grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia: She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June - Jonathan Fiddle - Went out of tune. Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie: Here lies the body of our Anna Done to death by a banana It wasn't the fruit that laid her low But the skin of the thing that made her go. More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England: Gone away Owin' more Than he could pay. Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood: In Memory of Beza Wood Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs. Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood One Wood Within another. The outer wood Is very good: We cannot praise The other. On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod: Pease shelled out and went to God. The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip: Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid" Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903--Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed u And no place to go. ================ >Golf '\ . . |>18>> \ . ' . | O>> . 'o | \ . | /\ . | / / .' | jgs^^^^^^^`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. "These hills re getting steeper as the years go by," one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," wheezed a second. "And somehow, the sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember 'em too," said the third. Hearing just about enough from his buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the foursome at 87-years-old, piped up and said, "Oh my friends, just be thankful we're still on THIS side of the grass!" -<>- >A Blonde's Diet A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from skipping." -<>- >Surely, Goodness and Mercy A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase "Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life..." "What's wrong with that, Johnny?" the pastor asked. "Well," answered Johnny, "I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I'm not sure I'd like Shirley following me around all the time." Posted From [Bill's Punch Line] -<>- .---. .---. ,';' `.';' `.. f :Bo. ` d88: `\ /d88P' `\ ; /d888P' `. ',d8&8P' : ;d8&7' | :8: | qx >Forgive Is your heart heavy laden with anger; are you wounded by the pierce of a word that was spoken with thought unregarded; are you hurt by the things that you heard? Do the sun and its rays all elude you; do your eyes never light in a smile? Are you plagued with a need to get even; are your feelings as bitter as bile? Then it's time to let go of emotions that afflict your mind and your soul, and it's time to start mending some fences, with forgiveness your ultimate goal. You may think that it's hard to accomplish, that your pride is too great to give in, but the one who hangs on to resentment is the one who never will win. For the person who is the big winner and the person who's learned how to live is not one who harbors ill feelings but the one who has learned to forgive. © 2000 Ruth Gillis mailto:ruthgill@worldnet.att.net First published in the April 2000 issue of: The Inspirational Poet. ============================================================= >-->From ArcaMax: I'm flattened ______________________ ,'_____ _____`. / (_===_) (_===_) \ \ (____________) / `-_ ,------------. _-' `------------------' >Broken Down A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again." -<>- >Egg Donor One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. "Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad. "But what about the 10,000 dollars?" "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them." -<>- >Bearly Escape There’s a guy who’s hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he’s brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn’t reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a beaver. -<>- .-._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .-''-.__.-'00 '-' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '-. '.___ ' . .--_'-' '-' '-' _'-' '._ V: V 'vv-' '_ '. .' _..' '.'. '=.____.=_.--' :_.__.__:_ '. : : (((____.-' '-. / : : snd (((-'\ .' / _____..' .' '-._____.-' >What Do You See? 'Doctor, doctor! I'm terribly worried. I keep seeing pink striped crocodiles every time I try to get to sleep.' 'Have you seen a psychiatrist?' 'No - only pink striped crocodiles.' =========================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Names Of God http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/namesofgod.html Overseer http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/overseer.html Whale Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whalerescue.html Undersea Restaurant http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/undersea.html Taking a Catnap 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catnap2.html Interesting News reading http://www.debka.com/index1.php -<>- >From Our Friend Viv :) The Vietnam War Version of "Before You Go" A tribute and thank-you to Veterans of the Vietnam War http://www.beforeyougo.us/play_byg_vn --- ...Beautiful! Thanks Viv! -<>- >From Our Dedicated Web Surfer Friend Wesley :) Truck Spills http://www.truckspills.com/ Draw Pixel Art Online http://www.app.strd6.com/creation/images/new For Film Buffs http://www.filmsite.org/ Reverse Dictionary http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml Stretch Your Face ! http://www.stretchyourface.com/ Photo Collage Generator http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/hockney.php Schedule Email Delivery For The Future http://www.deferredsender.com/ --- ...Super! Thank You Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Melva/Happy Fathers Day Baby http://silverandgoldandthee.net/F_D/FathersDay/1FDay.html carolyn w/ Lollipop ~The Chordettes http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/lollipop.html THE BIGGEST SCAM IN HISTORY http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/BIGGESTSCAMINHISTORY.HTML John w/ Dream Lover http://heavens-gates.com/50s/dreamlover/ Invisible Child http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/invisiblechild.html Top Ways To Stay Healthy http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stayhealthy.html Free Bible-based audio (Podcast) teachings for learning / studying the Bible! http://tinyurl.com/ovoapq Aww Animals #2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals2.html Aww Animals 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals3.html Mouse Wont Work http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjsksowl.htm Movie TV Bed http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjkeoel.htm M Rip It Up http://www.buffaloschips.com/gnzxjzkaka.htm The Flies In Florida Are Tough http://www.buffaloschips.com/gajskks.htm Dunk Shot http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsasjs.htm card fag tower http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjmgjkdfslgf.htm card indyramp color http://www.buffaloschips.com/fkghjfglkhjfgh.htm card Jacksonville http://www.buffaloschips.com/ckgjklgdfgd.htm card Lincoln capitol http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjdklfhfghkfg.htm card mass v stadium http://www.buffaloschips.com/fgnjdfkgdflkgfd.htm card memorial stadium http://www.buffaloschips.com/dkfgjdklfhjfglhfg.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ========================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Yesterday during a speech, Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that the CIA misleads us all the time. You know... unlike Congress." - Jay Leno "The National Archives lost a harddrive with massive amounts of valuable data from the Clinton administration. It contained Bill Clinton's "to-do" list — 500 people long." - Jimmy Fallon "A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure." - Segal's Law "I believe that professional wrestling is clean and every- thing else in the world is fixed." - Frank Deford "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." - Steven Wright "I've always found paranoia to be a perfectly defensible position." - Pat Conroy >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************