Money Isn't Everything & More ...:) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) _.._ .--'` .-,) .' / , / / /\ ; ; | `.__..__ | | | `''-\ ; \ ` \ '. `. '--.,__ __..-'-. '. ``` `. '. `. `\ _.._ \ `\ _.' '-._ .__ | `\ .'/ .-' `\ | \ .' : .-. | / \ _ / \ /_ | /_..-`"-. ; / '. | . ) .-')_/` \.'` \ | ; \ /_.' .'_.' .-. .-./ .--._/ ; | _ '-'` ` / /o )(o ( ( __ / ; ( ' /// _) |'. `'` `'-; \ ` _ //// ,__ / `, _) '. ' ( `--.__.\ '. `"` / .-' '. ' .-) /-.__.'`-. ( . / \ ' __.' / / \ '---' | `-.'-=\.' / _._\ \ / '===/ /`'._.' _\_ \-.__.-' jgs `| /`-...--''' | \__/`-._ __.-'` `"""""` WELCOME TO ALL OUR NEW Yahoo ShangyFunList Members! I hope you will enjoy our group! Please feel free to share your cool forwards, graphics, poems, recipes or whatever else makes you SMILE with US! We Love Em! -<>- .'\ /`. .'.-.`-'.-.`. ..._: .-. .-. :_... .' '-.(o ) (o ).-' `. : _ _ _`~(_)~`_ _ _ : : /: ' .-=_ _=-. ` ;\ : : :|-.._ ' ` _..-|: : : `:| |`:-:-.-:-:'| |:' : `. `.| | | | | | |.' .' `. `-:_| | |_:-' .' jgs `-._ ```` _.-' ``-------'' Today, We have lots to share thanks to the kind thoughtfulness of our on-line friends! Been a busy weekend. I was having fun playing on myyearbook.com saying hi to my friends and making new friends. You can visit me on there here: http://www.myyearbook.com/shangy Our Friend Jo Ann says you can visit her here: http://www.myYearbook.com/jjcwrt If you are there, please let me know, it is difficult for me to know who is who on that site. Also if you are a member, Send me your link, I'll share it with our group :) -<>- >Two Hot off the 'Shangy' Press... .-"""-. / \ \ / .-"""-.-`.-.-.< _ / _,-\ ()()_/:) TWO NEW PAGES!!! \ / , ` `| '-..-| \-.,___, / \ `-.__/ / jgs / `-.__.-\` / /| ___\ ( ( |.-"` `'\ \ \/ {}{} | \| / \ , / ( __`;-;'__`) `//'` `||` _// || .-"-._,(__) .(__).-""-. / \ / \ \ / \ / `'-------` `--------'` This one comes from our friend Jo Ann. I was feeling like I wanted to be creative with another new page and was going to check out the ones I am going to get to but just haven't yet when I got this new in from her. Well, it immediately struck my artist bone and I had to do it up. I searched and searched on the internet for the song I wanted for it. All I found were midi files that even I had a hard time recognizing what song it was - And I knew which one it was supposed to be! I finally gave up and did what I normally don't do. I broke down and put a video of the song on the page with it. I am concerned about our much needed bandwidth so I haven't done this before. If our site bandwidth goes through the sky, I'll remove it. Traffic is low now due to summer fun anyway, so it should be OK. Only our generous 'Shangrala Angels' keep the site above water as far as keeping it going during high traffic times - and as you know, we've only have had 3 donation Angels this year! Has me concerned, but I know God will provide one way or another. Praise God, He always does! Check out this our newest page... Identity Theft http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft.html --- ...Thank You Jo Ann! What A Great One! -<>- Lately I've been talking with our friend John from CES and he brought up about visiting the Creation Museum and how much he enjoyed it. Well, I was surprised as I was actually thinking it was a bad witness for God with it's stuff about the dino time line etc. but he convinced me to promote them for their great job with the planetarium exhibit. While looking for pictures for the page, I saw they have a wonderful Botanical Gardens too. Check our other new page here... Creation Museum Planetarium http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/creationmusem.html -<>- .-' '-. / \ |,-,-,-,-,| ___ | _)_(_ | (/ \) | _\_/_ /) Money Isn't Everything / \_/ \// |( )\/ ||)_( |/ \ n| | / \ | |_|___| \|/ jgs _/L\_ >Speaking of our friends at CES, they sent us this... Hello and God bless you! We thought you would be blessed to read / listen to this Bible-based research article titled: Financial Stewardship: God's Heart Concerning Money and Possessions At the top of the article is an audio teaching on the subject. You can right click the link and select Save Link As to download it to your computer / burn to a CD or simply click n play. Here is a little more about this teaching. What is God's heart concerning man's relationship to money and material possessions? If you've ever desired freedom in the area of finances and material possessions, this teaching is for you. Dan Gallagher develops the concept of Stewardship as the biblical balance between the Poverty and Prosperity extremes taught by some Christians. He also looks at the biblical concept of ownership and property rights. This most practical teaching sets forth nine principles of godly financial stewardship by which you can really get a handle on this critical area of life. To read / listen to this teaching, click here. http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=872 Please know we pray for you every day! The Home Office Staff Spirit and Truth Fellowship International www.STFOnline.org --- ...Gotta luv em! :) -<>- . \ | / _\|/_ .' ' ' '. ___ _.|.--.--.|.___.--'___`-. .'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'` .'.' ||()|()|| .___..-'.' / \ `----'"` / .-. \ (.'.(___).'.) Sure ta make ya Smile! `.__.-.__.' jgs |_| |_| `.`-'.' `"` >I've added pics to our yahoo group site. Jo Ann sent us a beautiful picture of dolphins. I love dolphins! What's not to like? They are the 'dogs' of the water world. Sweet! I updated our yahoo group picture with it. You can see it here: Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Two very funny ones comes from our Friend Kay, She writes "Baaaad thirst - There's nothing like the smell of wet wool!" and from our Friend Jo Ann. She writes: Finally It's Done! Something I have been waiting for has finally happened! You can expect to hear from me even more frequently now! I finally got the bathroom remodeled ! This gives new meaning to 'Going Online'... You can see them both here: http://ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/photos/browse/1f2a?b=31&m=t&o=0 --- ...TeeHee - Thank You BUNCHES Kay And Jo Ann! -<>- >Our Friend Jo Ann sent us a forward of Striped Waves This one is pretty cool and it is so cool that I have already done up a page on it. You can see it here: Wave Frozen In Time! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wave.html --- ...A sweet reminder! Thank You Jo Ann! I thought this was awesome! -<>- >-->Our Friend Viv sent us a couple links. This one surprised me as I was expecting the normal graphics that you see available online, but they offer full page sets for web sites to use. The same price as what I charge for custom page design work but they have pre made sets that are already done up. So there is very little room for your own customizing from them. Considering a page generally takes me 3 plus hours from start to finish to make, they are reasonable like me and their pages sets are nicely done. If you don't want much originality for your pages, You can check them out here: .:::::::. .::::::::::::. .::::::::::::=='=-, _;;;;=='''` _; / __,,==::::. \___,,,===''':::::::::::. ;|_ __ `::::::::::. :\__. __.` ::-.::::::: ::)#_\ `#_\ : _,\:::::. ::| ` _/:::::: ::| ,. |\::::::: ::; / ;:::::: :::\ .-._, / ;::::: ':::\ \^/ / ;::::: ':::\ ` /` ;::::: ':::'.__.:\ ;::::: ':::::::::| ;::::: :::::::::| .-. \::::: ::::::::/__.' '.\:::: ::::::(`/ / \|::: ::::-'--'`|--'--'--|::: .::' / | | | / |::' .:/ `"---"'`| | /:: jgs .:; | |-'|' GOOD CHRISTIAN GRAPHICS http://until_then.tripod.com/uthen/mainpage.htm OR you can have me make your own original pages up ;) --- ...Nice quick page source! Thank You Viv! Also From Viv... Thought you might like this. Viv This is a short slide show worth watching... You Lift Me Up Background music by Josh Groban Video of Take just one minute - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting http://tinyurl.com/25v86v --- ...An Excellent One! I loved it, thanks Viv! =========================================================== >-->From FunnBone: Trouble With The Wife .-""""""""""-. A man sat at a bar, drinking slowly. |`-.________.-'| On his face was the saddest hangdog | | expression. The bartender asked, /| _____|_ "What's the matter? Are you having | '. / \ \ troubles with your wife?" | _\ ~^~^\__/____/ | / | / \ \ The man said, "We had a fight, and \.\__/ 0 \__/______/ she told me that she wasn't going to ; o / \ \ speak to me for a month." \ o \__/____/ \ O / \ \ The bartender said, "That should make \o \__/___.' you happy." \ o / \ 0 / The man said, "No, the month is up |'`| today!" jgs ___| |___ /__________\ =================================================================== +------------------- Bizarre Phobias --------------------+ And The Celebrities Who Have Them Chromophobia - Fear of bright colors. Famous Chromophobes: Billy Bob Thornton Lepidopterophobia - Fear of butterflies. Famous Lepidopterophobes: Nicole Kidman Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns. Famous Coulrophobes: P. Diddy, Johnny Depp Chiclephobia - Fear of chewing gum. Famous Chilephobes: Oprah Winfrey Eisoptrophobia - Fear of your own reflection. Famous Eisoptrophobes: Pamela Anderson Botanophobia - Fear of plants. Famous Botanophobes: Christina Ricci ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) You know I was going through my old email when I found this. A dear friend had sent this to me and I am sending it to you. -------- _ ,="` `""=, o / ,=="""'=; , __ ~ / ,--'/=,) o \`\\"._ _, | .='/ <9(9.=" / _ |||;._//) / (J ^\ \ o_/@ @ /// |=( .' .' \ '='/ '-. ( (`__, ,`\| / / \`-;_ \ '.\_/ |\_.' ~ / | /` _ \ ) `""``` | , ; /`\/ `\ \ /.-._///_ |/ ' \_,\__/\ \.-'.'----'` \| '. \ \ /`-, ~ `\ _.-'\ (`-` .' `-.-' _.-')__./,--' .--'`,-'`'""` ` \ /`"`-` | ~ | / ~ | .-'__ .' \ ;'"` `""----'` \ \ '. `\ jgs ) `-. ~ / `-._ | , `-, ~ \ .' `''----` `.( ` Please remember to keep those you love close to your heart and tell them frequently how much you Love them even if it is via email. It all counts when someone hears I love you or reads it. We never know how much time we have on this earth. And all of you, whether I've known you for a few months or a few years, have enriched my life just by being a part of it. That friendship is very cherished. Say “I love you” to all your family and friends - Love, Jo Ann I Just Did! -<>- _,--''--,_ _,-'~~'-, ( '' {}{} }{ {}{} }{| {}{} }{}( ) ,__ , \ {}{} {}{) / \' ) '\ / ~/\ (\/) {}{/ / \ | | /| / \ }{ }{( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) | |} {}{\\ \\ (/ || | u|{ }{}{\\ \\ || || \ | |\ |\ |\ |\ (\o -- '' -'-' ~` "" ~` ~`' ~` '"' "' -- '' -'-' miK >The Difference Between Strength and Courage It takes strength to be firm, It takes courage to be gentle. It takes strength to stand guard, It takes courage to let down your guard. It takes strength to conquer, It takes courage to surrender. It takes strength to be certain, It takes courage to have doubt. It takes strength to fit in, It takes courage to stand out. It takes strength to feel a friend's pain, It takes courage to feel your own pain. It takes strength to hide your own pains, It takes courage to show them. It takes strength to endure abuse, It takes courage to stop it. It takes strength to stand alone, It takes courage to lean on another. It takes strength to love, It takes courage to be loved. It takes strength to survive, It takes courage to live. If you feel you have neither, May the world hug you today With its warmth, and love. And may the wind carry a voice That tells you there is a friend Sitting in another corner of the world wishing you well ! --- ...So Very True! Thanks Jo Ann! ========================================================== >-->This comes from our friend Viv :) __ __ ,-' `' \ _---``-- / _ _ ; __ `. / / `' \; /`----- ) / .-/ ,( ), \-. ; | \( \ / )/; | - _5 `7 -; / ( ___-' `-____ | ( ___`-_ \ ____| \ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \ \ ; \ .' /' `i. / | | \ _-'( _\__-/ `- | | ` ,` `_ | BP >Recipe for Friendship Fold two hands together And express a dash of sorrow Marinate it overnight And work on it tomorrow Chop one grudge in tiny pieces Add several cups of love Dredge with a large sized smile Mix with the ingredients above Dissolve the hate within you By doing a good deed Cut in and help your friend If he should be in need Stir in laughter, love, and kindness From the heart it has to come Toss with genuine forgiveness And give your neighbor some The amount of people served Will depend on you It can serve the whole wide world If you really want it to --- ...Nice! Thanks Viv! -<>- Cute, Viv { { } }_{ __{ .-{ } }-. ( } { ) |`-.._____..-'| | ;--. | (__ \ | | ) ) | |/ / | / / -Felix Lee- | ( / \ y' `-.._____..-' Coffee machine for coffee addicts!!!?? 1. CLICK ON THE LINK "COFFEE MACHINE" (BELOW) 2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE by moving your mouse towards the coin slot 3. PRESS THE BUTTON TO CHOOSE YOUR DRINK 4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY 5. CLICK ON "APRI" (Which means OPEN) ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COFFEE! MACHINE http://www.cartoline.it/pics/_zoom_f..._150404_01.swf --- ...Well, I didn't get the coffee, but had fun playing with the other FLASH items - although I couldn't tell what they were saying all the time being another language and all. I had fun. Thanks Viv! ===================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Becky :) ___ ____ /' --;^/ ,-_\ \ | / / / --o\ o-\ \\ --(_)-- /-/-/|o|-|\-\\|\\ / | \ '` ` |-| `` ' |-| |-|O |-(\,__ ...|-|\--,\_.... ,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,. ~~,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;, ______ --------- _____ ...I don't know if this really comes from Ben Stein but is good read... A lot of truth in this The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary. My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?' In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.' Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing? Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards. Honestly and respectfully, Ben Stein -<>- .----. . - . |C>_.|.:' .:. . __|____|__ `:. O_/ | ______--| \/M `-/.::::.\-' _/ \_ `--------' ******************* >Sarcasm 1. Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment. 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. --- ...Thoughtful ones, Thanks Becky. =================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. -<>- An estimated 12% of U.S. businessmen wear their ties so tight that they restrict the blood flow to their brain. -<>- ___ ___ /_/\\___//\_\ //\_/\\ Ruff! \ \_/ / Clover Fernchild aka cf /| o |\ __/\/ | | | \/\__ (_____((_|_))_____) An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner of the sofa and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot on the sofa and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks. Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.' The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?' -<>- What a woman says: “This place is a mess! C’mon, you and I need to clean it up. Your stuff is lying on the floor and you’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now!” What a man hears: “Blah, blah, blah, C’MON YOU AND I, blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW.” -<>- Bologny and Brilliance \ _,_ \ (;;;) ,__/a /;\ (__ |;|_ '--. \;/;) @\(,;)'\ (;;) '._ \ / _ '-. ||| | `\ _ |||`-.\ \ (;;) ((;;) (;;).' \\ jgs (((_) (((__) (;) A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?' Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!' Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says. 'Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! Moral of this story.... Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bologny and brilliance only come with age and experience. If you don't send this to three 'old' friends right away there will be three fewer people laughing in the world. I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged. ===================================================================== >-->In The WordlyNews: >from AFA: Throwing out any pretense of being neutral in the culture war, McDonald's has taken up the rhetoric of gay activists, suggesting those who oppose same-sex marriage (SSM) are motivated by hate. AFA has asked for a boycott of McDonald's restaurants because of the company’s promotion of the gay agenda. AFA asked McDonald’s to remain neutral in the culture war. McDonald’s refused. In response to the boycott, McDonald's spokesman Bill Whitman suggested to the Washington Post that those who oppose SSM are motivated by hate, saying "...hatred has no place in our culture." McDonald's has decided to adopt the "hate" theme used by gay activist groups for years. Whitman went on to say, "We stand by and support our people to live and work in a society free of discrimination and harassment." Mr. Whitman has intentionally avoided addressing the reason for the boycott. This boycott is not about hiring gays or how gay employees are treated. It is about McDonald's choosing to put the full weight of their corporation behind promoting their agenda. McDonald's donated $20,000 to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce in exchange for membership and a seat on the group’s board of directors. The NGLCC lobbies Congress in support of same-sex marriage. McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner said the company will promote issues they approve. "Being a socially responsible organization is a fundamental part of who we are. We have an obligation to use our size and resources to make a difference in the world...and we do." Take Action! • Sign the online Boycott McDonald's petition. http://www.boycottmcdonalds.com/ • Forward this to family and friends and ask them to sign the petition. • Print and distribute the Boycott McDonald's petition. • Call your local McDonald's. Speak with the manager. Tell him or her (in a polite manner) that you will be boycotting McDonald's until they stop promoting the pro-homosexual agenda. Thank you for caring enough to get involved. Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman American Family Association -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: | m1a | | / | \ \ | / . --\|/-- , '--|___|--' ,--|___|--, ' /\o o/\ ` + + + Woman claims Middle East spider in Utah An Ogden, Utah, woman said she discovered a spider in her home that she believes to be a species native to Iraq and Afghanistan. Lynnelle Carson said she caught the alleged camel spider in the living room of the home she recently moved into with her family, the Ogden Standard-Examiner reported. "I was working in the living room around 2 a.m. and I looked down and thought, 'Hey, there's a camel spider, I've got to catch that,'" Carson said. Carson said she learned to recognize the species, which can grow to up to 6 inches long and can run at speeds of up to 10 mph, after her son found one at the family's previous home on an Air Force base several years ago. "They're not supposed to be here (in Utah). I've heard people say they are coming in luggage or on planes, so we're introducing these spiders here now," she said. Camelspider.net, a Web site devoted to the species, said the creatures are not actually spiders, but solpugids, which are also members of the arachnid class. "These creatures are usually not dangerous to humans, but dangerous or not, these creatures are horrifying to encounter," the Web site said. Bank swindler gets unusual sentence A former Virginia bank official who swindled a Richmond bank out of $450,000 has drawn an unusual weekend prison sentence, court records show. Charles O'Brien, a former loan officer for SunTrust Bank, was sentenced to an initial one day in jail followed by 52 weekends in jail and three years of home detention -- and was ordered to surrender his golf clubs. "I've never seen a case like this," U.S. District Judge Robert E. Payne told O'Brien, whose health problems dictated the special situation. "A fair sentence would include 41 months" in prison. But, the judge said he had to consider O'Brien's unusual needs caused by a combination of a brain injury, bipolar disorder and other problems even if O'Brien's May 2004 brain injury was caused when "he got drunk and fell down the stairs." Some of the problems, the judge said, the U.S. Bureau of Prisons either cannot or will not address adequately, the Richmond Times-Dispatch reported. _ _V.-o / |`-' I didn't do it! (7_\\ jg Verizon bill addressed to family dog A Sacramento couple said they were shocked and confused when their dog received a $142.34 bill from Verizon Online. Steve Fanelli and Shawn Donovan said their Lhasa Apso, named Andy Fanelli, received a notice in the mail from AFNI collections informing the canine he owes $142.34 for Verizon service, KCRA-TV, Sacramento, reported Thursday. "The point is that Andy has never had a Verizon account. We were just curious why this showed up," Steve Fanelli said. Verizon said the bill was meant for a man named Andy Fanelli who lives on the other side of the country. "Just because there's an Andy Fanelli back east doesn't mean you send a letter to an Andy Fanelli in California," Donovan said. "There has to be something else to connect it." AFNI said the confusion may have resulted from the fact that the canine Andy Fanelli has his own American Express card, which Donovan obtained when it was offered for "family members." "It's an active card. From time to time I take my girlfriend's to lunch on Andy," Donovan said. Verizon Online said it canceled the debt. -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Police nab suspect in his skivvies ----------- HARTFORD, Wis. - Police in Hartford, Wis., said they have arrested a man who allegedly ditched his clothes after a robbery to make a getaway wearing only his underwear. Police said the 37-year-old man, whose name was not released, robbed a convenience store with a fake handgun after purchasing a pack of cigarettes, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported. The robber wore a pair of blue coveralls, but police said they discovered him riding a bicycle wearing only his underwear -- with the unopened pack of cigarettes and $412, the exact amount taken from the store, stuffed inside. In between the store and bike path where police found the man, officers discovered a pair of blue coveralls and a fake handgun. Police said the suspect told them he was robbed by a man who only wanted his clothing and let him keep the money. Prosecutors said the suspect, who was being held in Washington County Jail, was expected to be charged with armed robbery. ==, _| (_|=< ___ _| Elderly women ram scooters ',-.\ /,|. : o :=======: o : `-' `-' MJP CRAWLEY, England - Employees of a Crawley, England, super- market said they called police after two elderly women began using their mobility carts as bumper cars during an argument. Workers at the Iceland store said they found the women using their mobility scooters to fight one another after hearing screams coming from their isle, The Telegraph reported Tuesday. "Seeing these two old ladies going for each other like that was truly disturbing," said a worker who asked not to be named. "They could have been seriously hurt -- they were ramming each other like dodgems." Police said one of the women was arrested on suspicion of assault after the other suffered an injury to her arm during the confrontation. A granddaughter of one of the women said the pair had been friends but began fighting in the store over money. O..O ---,--"--,- Two wounded when woman tried to shoot mice SAN FRANCISCO - The Mendocino County, Calif., Sheriff's Office said a woman who attempted to kill mice with a .44-caliber Magnum revolver wounded herself and a man. The office said the 43-year-old woman drew the gun from a holster under her left arm with the intent to fire it at mice she had seen on the floor of a trailer that was traveling on Highway 20 in the town of Potter Valley, the Santa Rosa (Calif.) Press Democrat reported Thursday. However, the woman dropped the gun and it fired a round when it struck the floor, the report said. The bullet went through the woman's kneecap, glanced off keys on the belt loop of a 42-year-old man who was also inside the trailer, tore a hole through the man's pants and grazed his groin before coming to a stop in his coin pocket. The sheriff's office said the bullet has been admitted to evidence. The victims' names were not released. ============================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Patty," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't," agreed Patty, as he proudly slapped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother couldn't do this to save his life!" -<>- During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end cooly explained. "I believe you are complaining about your room number." -<>- Harry, a TV repairman, was called to fix a television set that had neither sound nor picture. Left alone in the room, Harry spotted the cause immediately: the set was unplugged. Harry faced a dilemma: one part of him said he shouldn't charge the woman; the other insisted he be paid for his time. Finally, he presented her with a minimum-charge service bill, which read: "Restored isolated connecting cable to primary power source. $25." [Stolen from Reader's Digest.] -<>- ,-"""-. oo._/ \___/ \ (____)_/___\__\_) /_// \\_\ unknown Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted." -<>- '-. '-. _____ .-._ | '. : .. | : '-._+ | .-' / \ .'i--i / \ .-'_/____\___ .-' : fsc: In my husband's work for a cable-television company, he encounters illegal hookups that drive up costs for other customers. One day he arrived at a repair job just as the homeowner was pulling into the driveway. She pointed the way to the den, where the tv was located, and then walked out to get the mail. As my husband approached the tv, he saw a note taped to the screen. It read: "Don't forget to hide the descramblers before the cable guy comes. Love, Tom." [Borrowed with much appreciation from Reader's Digest.] -<>- While working as an airline customer-service agent, I got a call from a woman who wanted to know if she could take her dog on board. I told her the dog was welcome, as long as she paid a $50 charge and provided her own kennel. I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over. "I'll never be able to teach him all that by tomorrow!" the customer complained. -<>- In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor. One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a "severe non-linear waterfowl issue." Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, "What exactly is that?" The programmer replied, "They don't have all their ducks in a row." ============================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: ** A WARRIOR'S SONG ** The sun kisses a mountain top And glistens on its face of snow, And slowly climbs into the sky above And lights the valley below. For each of us that this day awakes A miracle takes place. For once again we walk our earth And own all upon its face. And the past regrets and foolish fears Of yesterday's cloudy mind, Are washed away by the light of day And seem so far behind. For each of us is reborn each day, Our life renews again. And with the help of God we will find a cause That makes us want to win. For a man without a goal in life Is a man already dead. His mind wanders from place to place, And he walks with feet of lead. He has no reason to stretch his mind, No spirit to stir his soul. His name is not even in the book, When destiny calls the roll. Better to take the wine of life And drink both deep and long-- Greet each day 'cause you're here to stay, And sing your warrior's song. For the battle of life is joined, and You might fight long and true. For in this strife, it's the game of your life And the only loser is you. Gird up your loins with courage And answer the trumpets call, And lose or win, you can say at the end, This was the greatest of all! --William E Bailey--- -<>- ** Blonde Pilot ** _ /;:`. ______ _,-'._,' _,--''' `'-._,-'_,-' `' ,' ` - .,_ __,-' ),-' ( __|-`' . _,'/ `--...'___,..--' / / _/,-'_,-' (`---'' _,-' |_,- `----''|_,--' jrei -' _,-' A blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter. She went to the airport, but the only one available was a solo- helicopter. The Instructor figured he could let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for small planes and he could instruct her via radio. So up the blonde went. She reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet. The blonde and the Instructor kept talking via radio. Everything was running smoothly. At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the top of some trees and crash landed in the woods. The Instructor jumped into his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay. As he reached the edge of the woods, the blonde was walking out. "What happened?" the Instructor asked. "All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?" "Well," began the blonde, "I got cold. So I turned off the big fan." -<>- * Short Takes ** **- There is the story of a Pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." ** - While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step on exhaust." ______ | O | | ,|._ | | `A _|__ |__|\_\ \ O \ ._|.) \___A _|_ |\ SSt **- A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... " ** - People want the front of the bus; back of the church and center of attention. ** - Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws trying to enforce 10 commandments. _____ /_..._\ (0[###]0) `' `' -Lester AMC ** - A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business" -<>- ** Who's The King ** , ,, , , ,; ; ;; ; ; ; , ; '; ; ;; .-''\ ; ; , ; ;` ; ,; . / /8b \ ; ; `; ; .;' ;,\8 | ; ; ` ;/ / `_ ; ;; ; ; ; |/.' /9) ; ; ` ; ; ; ,/' ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; /_ ; ; ` ; ; `?8P" . ; ; ; ; ; ; ;; | ; .:: ` ;; ; ; ` ; ; `' `--._ ;; ;; ; ; ; ; `-..__..--'' ; ; ;; ; ; ; fL ; ; ; ; ; ; The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure all the other animals knew he was king of the jungle. He was so confident that he bypassed the smaller animals and went straight to the bear. "Who is the king of the jungle?" the lion asked. "Why, of course, you are," the bear replied. The lion gave a mighty roar of approval. Next he asked the tiger, "Who is the king of the jungle?" The tiget quickly responded, "Everyone knows that YOU are, oh mighty lion." Next on the list was the elephant. "Who is the king of the jungle?" the lion asked. The elephant immediately grabbed the lion with his trunk, whirled him around in the air five or six times and slammed him into a tree. Then he pounded him onto the ground several times, dunked him under water in a nearby lake and finally dumped him out on the shore. The lion — beaten, bruised and battered — struggled to his feet. "Look," he told the elephant, "just because you don't know the answer is no reason to get so upset." -<>- ** Getting Along ** An assembly line worker at Chrysler was picked for jury duty, but asked the judge to excuse him. "This is a very busy time at the plant, Your Honor, and I need to be there." "Oh, I see," the judge said. "You're one of those folks who think you're indispensable, that Chrysler can't get along without you." "No, sir, not at all," the worker replied. "I know they can do just fine without me, but I don't want them to find that out." "Excused," the judge said. -<>- W [ ] E, U\ \ \\|/ |-( )- | V | L `. ___ | \/ / dsi ** ILLEAGLES ** I come for visit, get treated regal, So I stay, who care I illegal? I cross border, poor and broke, Take bus, see employment folk. Nice man treat me good in there, Say I need to see welfare. Welfare say, "You come no more, We send cash right to your door." Welfare checks, they make you wealthy, Medicaid it keep you healthy! By and by, I got plenty money, Thanks to you, American dummy. Write to friends in motherland, Tell them come as fast as you can. They come in rags and Chebby trucks, I buy big house with welfare bucks. They come here, we live together, More welfare checks, it gets better! Fourteen families they moving in, But neighbor's patience wearing thin. Finally, white guy moves away, Now I buy his house, and then I say, "Find more aliens for house to rent." And in the yard I put a tent. Send for family (they just trash), But they, too, draw the welfare cash! Everything is mucho good, And soon we own the neighborhood. We have hobby--it's called breeding, Welfare pay for baby feeding. Kids need dentist? Wife need pills? We get free! We got no bills! American crazy! He pay all year, To keep welfare running here. We think America darn good place! Too darn good for the white man race. If they no like us, they can go, Got lots of room in Mexico. -<>- ** On The Move Again ** My husband is an Army helicopter pilot, and we never seem to live in one place for very long... Typically, during a move, we stay in a hotel until we can find a permanent place to have our things delivered to... Our children enjoy this greatly, although sometimes it can be a bit confusing for them... One day, as we were driving down an interstate and passed a Holiday Inn, our three-year-old squeaked in excitement from the backseat. "Look!" he exclaimed. "There's our old house!" -<>- <::<<::>o<::>>::>o<::<>::>o<::<<::>>::>o<::>>::> .::::. : : ____ | | | `::::´ .:>__/\ \\ ||'|| \\\__/ //\ \\_______ | ||| ¯/// /\ =//------. \ || || ` /|\ \\ | | | /\ .:. ,___,\||"|| \/ ':' <-(-> \| |/ \/---. [` '] | | | ~=====` _\__/-"-"--||" | ` %' ^\ / /|\ |( )| ~(): _{====mm)== | |'| ()_( ) . , || || ()-.\ ' /: , ~/~ |`| | , ()_ `-.' /:: ~\~ ~~|~~||`|| ~/~ ; ~}}:._ _. /:: ~~\~~ ~~~|~~| | ~~/~~ ;;; | :::::::: ~~~~|~~ ~~|~~~ ~~~/~~~ :;: ; }=@@={::: , ~~|~~~ ~|~~||~~/~~ ;:; :;: | :| ; ~\~ ~\~~ ~|~~~ ~/~ :;: ;;; | :| ~`~ ~~\~ ~\~~ |~~ ~/~~| ;;; ;:; | ^| ; ~ ; ~~\~~ \~~~ ~/~| | ( | ) | ) | | ~`~ ~`~__~~/ ~\~ ~|~~ ~/~|'|| \|/ \|/ :::::: ~ ~`~ \/.: ~\~ |~|~~|'|| | | ;| :::::: ~`~ | (-)::)o \ |~|/ ||) '|,, | :;; | | | .:::.:: /""""""\_|| ,,'o',, |(;;;) |W|_ `':.' )/-:::.- _- - \ 'o'|'o' | \|/ (___) :.^,".:.`;':. /_ - \\/TooShy\// <::<<::>o<::>>::>o<::<>::>o<::<<::>>::>o<::>>::> ** The Wisdom of a Navajo Woman ** A saleswoman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she sees a Navajo woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Navajo woman climbs in. During their small talk, the Navajo woman glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them. "If you're wondering what's in the bag," offers the saleswoman, "it's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman is silent for awhile, nods several times and says, "Good trade." -<>- ** What Are We ** Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school. So they went to the nearest church. Only the janitor was there. One said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?" "Sure," said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "Now go out and play." When they got outside, dripping wet, one of them asked, "What religion do you think we are?" The oldest one said, "We're not Katlick, because they pour the water on you. We're not Bablist because they dunk all of you in it. We're not Methdiss because they just sprinkle you." The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?" "Yes. What do you think that means?" "That means we're Pisscopalians." -<>- ** The following caption was found written on a gravestone... "As I am now, you soon shall be, So be content to follow me." Then someone taped the following note on that gravestone... "To follow you I'm not content, until I know which way you went!" ================================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: ________ _jgN########Ngg_ _N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_ d###P N####p "^^" T#### d###P _g###@F _gN##@P gN###F" d###F 0###F 0###F 0###F "NN@' ___ q###r "" Unanswered Questions Vol. II If cocaine were legal, would they sell it in little packages like Sweet N' Low? Would they call it Sweet N' High? If drinking and driving is illegal, why do bars have parking lots? Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And if so, how would you treat them? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? Can a storm be officially designated as a tornado without touching down at a trailer park? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? Can I yell MOVIE in a crowded firehouse? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Does a person ever get sick without being tired? Does Mr. Rogers really want us to be his neighbor? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algae-bra? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How can there be a limited lifetime warranty? How can there be self-help GROUPS? How can you be ALONE with somebody? Think about it... How come the bullets that work are fired, and the ones that don't work are not? How do 'Do Not Walk on Grass' signs get there? How do I set my laser printer on stun? How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do you get off a non-stop flight? How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others? How do you remove a club soda stain? How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? How is it possible to have a civil war? How much would they pay the matador if the bull had no horns? If 7-11 is open 24-7 and 365 days a year why do they have locks on their doors? If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it? If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does anyone care? If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on earth? If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? If con is the opposite of pro, then what is the opposite of progress? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? If it's called a boxing RING, then why are they square? If knowledge is power and power corrupts, doesn't knowledge corrupt? If Mike Brady was supposed to be this groovy architect, why did he force 6 kids into 2 bedrooms? If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box? If they're psychic and I need them so much, why don't they just phone me? If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food? If you ate pasta and anti pasta, would you still be hungry? If you saw with a sawhorse, do you seesaw with a seahorse? If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If you try to fail, and then succeed, what've you really done? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? Is a metaphor like a simile? Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live? Is there another word for synonym? May I refuse to inherit the earth? On Gilligan's Island, if the professor could build a radio out of coconut, why couldn't he fix a hole in the boat? Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice? Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? What does the hotcake seller say when his hotcakes are selling quickly? What happened to the first 6 'ups'? What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours? What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about? What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free? What was the best thing before sliced bread? What's the speed of dark? When it rains, how come cows don't knock on the farmer's door and say, "Hey, let us in, we're all wearing leather out here!" When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? Whenever you're holding all the cards, why does everyone else turn out to be playing chess? Where are the bacteria that cause 'good' breath? Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg? Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'? Why are there Interstates in Hawaii? Why are they called apartments if they are stuck together? Why aren't there ever any GUILTY bystanders? Why do doctors call what they do practice? Why do gas stations lock their bathrooms? Are they afraid that someone is going to clean them? Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Why do they call it instant credit when it actually means instant debt? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up? Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong? Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Why is it that normal people are the ones you don't know? Why is it that when our kids are naughty we ask "do you want a spanking?" What are they going to say, "Yes please, may I have two?"... Why is it that when we ship something by truck, it's called a shipment but if we send something by ship, it's called cargo? Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? …Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? ========= >From http://www.everyday-wisdom.com/unanswered-questions.html ======== This post is brought your way by Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day Ministries. To get a regular dose of Christian humor and a modern-day parable drop a note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or to ajokeaday7-subscribe@topica.com. Please leave this attached if you forward this to friends or post on the net. ==================================================================== >-->Fun Places To Net Visit :) >From Linky&Dinky: EVERY LETTER under the SUN has been made into a Logo. How consumer-saturated are we? http://www.linkydinky.com/images/LogoAlphabet.jpg a WAITER SPILLS THE BEANS and why you should NEVER send your steak back. http://tinyurl.com/67p282 Is "WASH ME" the BEST YOU CAN DO? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carart.html -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: The Tooth Fairy Free Certificates, Poems, Games, Letters nCrafts http://dentistry.about.com/od/thetoothfairy/The_Tooth_Fairy.htm Math PI http://www.vvc.edu/ph/TonerS/mathpi.html Map Tools http://www.freemaptools.com/tunnel-to-other-side-of-the-earth.htm Lost in Translation http://tinyurl.com/5eaf75 Email Etiquette Rules http://www.emailreplies.com/ Celestia http://celestia.sourceforge.net/ Chat Acronyms used in E-mail, IM, and Text Messaging http://www.sharpened.net/glossary/acronyms.php Doggie Zone Dog Kiss http://www.donaldchase.com/epostcards/images/dog-kiss.gif Kitty Korner http://tunedin43.tripod.com/happy.html Water Power http://www.buffaloschips.com/71008.htm Way Cool Toy http://www.buffaloschips.com/71009.htm Wekker Problem http://www.buffaloschips.com/71010.htm Non Smoker Revenge http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112499.htm Nothing Like A Good Book http://www.buffalosjokes.com/1124100.htm Bad Idea http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032906.htm Watch Out For That Tree http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032907.htm Close One http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032908.htm Anchors Away http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062712.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com -<>- >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A 60-year-old woman was kicked out of a McCain rally for heckling him. Afterwards, McCain said, 'I'm just not popular with young women'." - Conan O'Brien "People ask for criticism, but they only want praise." - W. Somerset Maugham "A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing." - Alexander Hamilton When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. A man complained about having had two unhappy marriages. His first wife divorced him and his second wife wouldn't. As a mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he would behave, she said, "Why do I always have to pay you to be good; why can't you be good for nothing like your father?" ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOOUSE :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************