Moral Assignment And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->OoooWeeeee!! (>, oo / 8 "} > @ < |`.8 .-._/| `-.'`')`_.' ) / / |__, | ( / .' , / `._/ '`- \| -- -`' - --- VK/ejm I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because Shangrala has been blessed with another 2010 Angel! Pat De Esposito from East Orange, NJ has joined forces to help Keep Shangrala Alive this year with a sweet donation! If you are in the neighborhood be sure to stop by the Fairfield United Methodist Church in NJ! If you'd like to help too and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ >-->2 Hot Off The Shangy Press! The first hottie is from our friend Viv. She sent us a forward about two adorable friends that I felt you might like to get to know too. Meet them here... _ ,:'/ _..._ // ( `""-.._.' \| / 6\___ | 6 4 | / \_ .--' (_'---'`) / `'---`() ,' | , .'` | )\ _.-' ; / | .'` _ / /` / .' '. , | / / / \ ; | | | \ | | .| | | \ `"| /.-' | | | '-..-\ _.;.._ | |.;-. \ <`.._ )) | .;-. )) (__. ` ))-' \_ ))' `'--"` jgs `"""` Suryia And Roscoe http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/orang2.html --- ...Awww, such a cute pair! Thank You Viv! The next hot sizzlin' page is from our friend Tony in Australia. I do so love unique architecture. Castles, to me, just have it all going on! Check out these... ,.=,,==. ,,_ _ ,====, _ |I|`` || `|I `| |`I| || `==,|`` ^^ `` | | `` ^^ ||_,===TT`==,,_ | |,==Y``Y==,,__| \L=_-`' +J/` \|=_ ' -=#J/..-|=_- =| |=_ -;-='`. .|=_- =|----T--, |=/\ -|=_-. . |=_-/^\ =||-|-|::|____ |=|| -|=_-. . |=_-| | =|-|-||::\____ |=LJ -|=_-. . |=_-|_| =||-|-|::::::: |=_ -|=_-_. |=_- =|-|-||::::::: |=_ -|=//^\. |=_- =||-|-|::::::: , |/&_,_-|=|| | |=_- =|-|-||::::::: ,--``8%,/ ',%|| | |=_- =||-|-|%:::::: ,---`_,888` ,.'''''`-.,|,|/!,--,.&\|&\-,|&#::::: |;:;K`__,...;=\_____,=`` %%%& %#,--- |;::::::::::::| `'.________+-------\ `` /8M%;:::;;:::::| | `------- unknown Romantic Castles http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/castles.html --- ...Awesome Castles! Thank you Tony! Paul and I actually visited the Hearst Castle in CA. A most beautiful place. We even have a castle here in my home town. Not on the top romantic castle list but still a very nice one. See it here... The Brumback Library Virtual Tour http://www.brumbacklib.com/virtual-tour =============================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: The American Way .-"""""""-. There was an Englishman, an Irishman and .' __ \_ an American caught in a storm in the / / \/ \ country. They spied a big old | \_0/\_0/______ house just off the road, to |:. .' oo`\ which they ran for shelter. |:. / \ To their calls and knocks |' ; | | came no answer; the house |:.. . \_______ | seemed deserted, and it was |::.|' , \,_____\ / rather spooky |:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;() as well.... |::; | | ; ; | | # # # #:::::: Suddenly the jgs/::::.|-| |_|-|, \ # # # #:::::: door swung open /'-=-'` '-' '--'\ # # # #:::::: of its own / \ # # # #:::::: accord, the # # # # # # # hinges squeak- # # # # # # # ing eerily. # # # # # # # Still, no one # # # # # # # was to be # # # # # # # seen. # # # # # # # Plucking up his courage, the Englishman crept into the hallway, and there, on a small table, lay a 1000 dollar note. As he reached out a greedy hand to take the money, a sepulchral voice rang out, "I'm the ghost of Abel Mabel, that 1000 dollar note must stay on the table!" With a shriek of terror, the Englishman dashed out of the house, past his two companions and into the storm. The Scotsman looked at the American, shrugged, and crept cautiously into the hallway. He also saw the 1000 dollar note and stretched out a hand to steal it. And again, that awful, disembodied voice rang out, "I'm the ghost of Abel Mabel, that 1000 dollar note must stay on the table!" The Scotsman, his nerve shattered, dashed out of the house, yelling with fright, and into the storm. The American looked after him, squared his shoulders, and marched into the hallway. There lay the 1000 dollar note, and the American also could not resist the temptation. As his hand stretched towards the note, the strange voice rang out for a third time, "I'm the ghost of Abel Mabel, that 1000 dollar note must stay on the table!" To which the American replied, "I'm the descendent of Davy Crockett - that $1000 dollar note belongs in my pocket!" ===================================================================== +----------- Even More Bizarre July Holidays ------------+ July 21 is National Tug-Of-War Tournament Day July 22 is Ratcatcher's Day July 23 is National Vanilla Ice Cream Day July 24 is Amelia Earhart Day July 25 is Threading The Needle Day July 26 is All Or Nothing Day July 27 is Take Your Pants For A Walk Day July 28 is National Milk Chocolate Day July 29 is Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day July 30 is National Cheesecake Day July 31 is Parent's Day =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Becky :) _ / | //|| // ); _ __ ,'',// ,-' ' `-. ((// ( ) )// ( / -')))o ,' / ( ( /() / / o ) / (/\ (,_( O(O / ' / > |/ `\. o/ (_ ._/ '. || \ _\ __,'() ,-|| `-( / /( | () () / ( `-',-.'`v/ )/_ |/O `-._( `." `-'\\ // `---.-'\ )\.O _ .' ) / `-. / |\/-.___,-./ | O| ' ( \ / |\\ / ( ;\ Y ,-'(\\) | ) ,-./ ( | ( \` | ,-' ./ -^_/-. `. _\ | ,' `-< ' ,' )\_ .\| |. | (),-. _,--. | | ' ; \ ,-` ))\ \ | \ _,' ; ( ,'/ ) |/,--\ ___))`-'` gpyy `-'-'~~~``---"" '"'"'` >My buddy, Through happy and sad, Beside me you stand, Beside me you walk, You're there to listen, You're there to talk, With happiness, With smiles, With pain and tears, I know you'll be there, throughout the years! You are all good friends to me and I am grateful to you. Send this to all your good friends online to show them You are friends. If you get this back from: 1 person - you have a couple friends, but not many 2 people - you have a few friends... 3 people - you have some friends... 4 people - you have several friends!! 5 people - you have many friends! !! 6 people - you are SOOOO loved!!! Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle... - Author unknown --- ...Ditto! Thanks Becky! ================================================================ >-->From ArcaMaxJokes: _________ /' /| / / |_ / / //| /_________/ ////| | _ _ | 8o////| | /'// )_ | 8///| |/ // // ) | 8o///| / // // //,| / 8//| / // // /// | / 8//| / // // ///__|/ 8//| /.(_)// /// | 8///| (_)' `(_)//| | 8////|___________ (_) /_\ (_)'| | 8/////////////// (_) \"/ (_)'|_| 8///////////// (_)._.(_) d' Hb 8oooooooopb' `(_)' d' H`b d' `b`b d' H `b d' `b `b d' `b d' `b >Moral Assignment A grade school teacher gave the assignment to her class, that each student should think of a story and then a moral for that story to share with the class the next day. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, and little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story and Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next little Lucy offers to tell her story, and she says, "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story and Lucy replies, "Don't count your eggs before they're hatched." Finally it's little Johnny's turn and he says, "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a machine gun, a machete, and a case of beer. On the way down he drank the case of beer." "Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." The teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story and Johnny replies, "Don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking." -<>- ,%/7\\` (/// .\\) (((( - ))) ((|)_*_/((( ))(/) (\((|) ((((\___/))(\ / ,-) (-. \ ( ( ( _ _ ) ) ) \ \ )^ ^ ^( / / ) y y ( \( )/ \_______/ \ / / y / ( ' \ \ \ y-._ hjw |\,' X-' _,T-) / (__,-%_/ >Beauty Cream Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," she replied as she began to remove the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter," asked little Johnny. "Giving up?" -<>- _--_ ( A's) /___7 .~~\ /~~. /""_ V \ om /____/ / .mmmC="_ _/ -----===(((((}{).MMM "" | `"---" ..mMMM"" | \ ( )" \ /\ | / / \ \ /" / \ \ \__/" \__/ '94 the wolfe / / | | .^V^. .^V^. +-+ +-+ >Baseball and the Tramp The ball had been knocked out of the stadium into the lane and everybody was out looking for it. One of the players came across an old tramp, lying in the shade. 'Excuse me' said the Baseballer, 'but have you seen a baseball?' 'No, I haven't,' replied the tramp. 'But I've brought one from home I could sell you!' -<>- Doctor A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there." "No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons." =============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From Patriot News: Undeniable Proof of America's Christian Heritage http://tinyurl.com/2erd68s Stop Barney Frank's takeover of the Pentagon http://tinyurl.com/29khmhb Pastor Yanked From Capitol Over 'Jesus' Prayer http://tinyurl.com/32tvrlh -<>- >From BizarreNews: Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER: http://twitter.com/MyBizarreNews -- Judge orders wall in feuding couple's home -------- NEW YORK - A New York judge ordered a couple to divide their home with a wall but an attorney for one half of the couple says they already live "like there was a wall." Pinchs and Nechama Gold, an Orthodox Jewish couple, have been married for 21 years but Nechama Gold says her husband verbally abuses her and their five children, the New York Post reported. Judge Eric Prus Thursday ordered the Golds to divide their 3,000-square-foot home in two while the divorce proceeds -- giving them two weeks to decided where to put the wall or leaving it up to the court to make the decision, the newspaper said. Abe Konstam, an attorney for Pinchs Gold, told the Post: "They've been living like there was a wall up for two years now. This just helps them completely avoid each other." Pinchs Gold alleges his wife has exiled him from their bedroom and he has had to sleep in the dining room for two years, the newspaper said. After the judge direct- ed the couple to put up a wall in the house, Nechama Gold's lawyer, Brian Perskin, said: "It's a large house, so I think we can come up with some sort of agreement. But she wants him out." Pinchs has come up with a plan that would give his wife and their children about 700 more square feet than he would get, the Post reported. -- Canadian firefighters drink rescued beer --------- OLIVER, British Columbia - Volunteer firefighters in a Canadian town found themselves in hot water for quenching their thirst with beer they rescued from a fire they extinguished. The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported Tuesday the entire fire department in Oliver, British Columbia -- more than 30 members -- were suspended for two weeks after it was determined they drank at least one of the six beer kegs they removed from a burning hotel in May. Initially, just two volunteer firefighters were suspended and the chief took a leave of absence. But Mayor Pat Hampson said a closer look revealed a wider problem. "The fire department approached us and said, 'Look, we've made a stupid mistake here, and we feel we should all take responsibility for it, even the members who aren't at the incident,' just to show solidarity amongst them- selves," he said. The suspensions will be staggered, so to speak, so the town isn't left without fire protection. -- Mom held hostage for refusing to iron ---------- VILLA RICA, Ga. - Georgia police said they arrested a man who pulled a gun on his mother and detained her for at least 6 hours because she refused to iron his clothes. Sgt. Marc Griffith with the Carroll County Sheriff's Office said Robert Edward Tyrrell Jr., 29, of Villa Rica, argued with his 51-year-old mother at the home he shares with his parents June 30 when she refused to iron his clothes, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported Thursday. "He wanted her to do some ironing, and when she said 'no,' they got into an argument," Griffith said. "He told her 'ironing is woman's work.'" "Mama finally said, 'I'm not ironing your clothes,' and he went cuckoo on her," Griffith said. Griffith said Tyrrell then pulled a gun on his mother and took away her keys and cellphone. He said the suspect refused to let his mother leave for at least 6 hours. Police said the mother was eventually able to get away and reported the incident at a police station. Tyrrell was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and false imprisonment. --- ...Gee, isn't that what Downy sheets and the dryer are for? To SUBSCRIBE: http://www.gophercentral.com/ -<>- >From Archived 2008 CoffeBreak: Traffic-blocking gator to become shoes An alligator that was caught after blocking a Miami road has been sold to a processing facility to be killed and turned into consumer products. Brian Wood, owner of All American Gator Products, said he paid $280 for the alligator, which was caught Tuesday after blocking traffic on U.S. 441, the Miami Herald reported Wednesday. Wood said the gator's skin will be used for shoes and wallets while its bones will be used to make soap and its meat will be breaded and deep fried for sale at the Islamorada Fish Company and Rustic Inn Crabhouse. Gabriella Ferrero, a spokeswoman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, said large alligators that are considered to be a nuisance are often sold to processing plants. The plant said about 100 of the 2,000 alligators processed annually are reptiles that have been branded a nuisance by the state. New York Aquarium's oldest shark dies The New York Aquarium has announced its oldest shark, a 43-year-old sand tiger, has been euthanized after a long illness. Hans Walters, a shark specialist and Animal Department supervisor at the aquarium, said the shark, named Bertha, fell ill more than a month ago and was euthanized Saturday, the New York Post reported Wednesday. "It was a real rough decision," Walters said. He said a necropsy performed after the shark's death to discover the cause of its illness was inconclusive. Bertha, who measured 8 feet long and weighed 250 pounds before her death, was brought to the aquarium in 1965 after she became ensnared in a fisherman's net. College dorm rooms go co-ed Colleges including the University of Pennsylvania, Clark University and Wesleyan University have begun allowing students of different sexes to share dorm rooms. Oregon State University, Ithaca College, Clark University and Dartmouth University have also taken the step of allowing male and female students to room together in mixed-gender dormitories, the Boston Globe reported Wednesday. "It's definitely a growing movement on campuses across the country," said Clark University Dean of Students Denise Darrigrand. "It's a new world, and gender has taken on all kinds of new definitions. It's about being more inclusive, and it's about keeping pace with the times." Darrigrand said about 30 students at the school have taken advantage of the mixed-gender rooms. Students and college officials said that while romantic partners sharing rooms is not unheard of, most of the male-female roommate pairings are just friends. "The typical arrangement is friends, true friends who simply want to live together," said Jeffrey Chang, a Clark student who lives with a female friend. "They simply feel more comfortable together, and get along better day to day." =============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _------_ -~ ~- - _ - - |> - - |< - - |> - - || - - || - -__||__- |______| <______> <______> \/ I was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at engineering university. I worked repairing construction equipment. One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it I started heating the nut with an oxyacetylene torch. As I was doing this, one of the dimmest apprentices I have ever known came along. He asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained that if I heated the nut it would grow larger and release its grip on the bolt so I could then remove it. "So things get larger when they get hot, do they?" he asked. "Yes," I said, "that's why days are longer in summer and shorter in winter." There was a long pause, then his face cleared. "You know, I always wondered about that," he said. -<- Before I could enroll in my company's medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance. One question asked, "Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room within the next three months?" -<>- I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the students: Why do people choose to have their children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate? After students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand. "This may be a bit off the point," he said, "but when I was little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they would put me into a drawer." -<>- A father found his small son looking very unhappy. "What's wrong?" he asked. The boy said, "I can't get along with your wife." -<>- Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O'Hare airport in Chicago. Along with hotel accommodations, the airline issued each passenger a $10 meal ticket, or "chit." That evening after dinner I presented my meal ticket to the cashier. "Is this chit worth $10?" I asked. Looking up nervously, the cashier responded, "I'm sorry, sir. Was the meal that bad?" -<>- /(_ /_ (_ / O \ |_. | \ | | |\ / | \ | \ (-.\ fish walking _)\ \ ( )_/\ \_( \ / ) ( _ _ _ / _ \ /'\/'\'\ / _// / \(/\(/(/ \\_/_/ \_\/ ./<./-->From Laugh&Lift: >Present With the Lord (By Adrian Rogers) "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." (2 Corinthians 5:8) A man named Solomon Peas died. His tombstone in London reads: _|_ | .-'''''-. .-' '-. .-' :::::_::::: '-. ___/ ==:...:::-:::...:== \___ /_____________________________\ ':'-._________________________.-'_ ':::\ @-,`-[-][-^-][-]-`,-@ / _| |_ '::| .-------------------. ||_ @ _| ::|=|* ___ _ ___ *|=|'.| | ':| |' ))_) )) ))_) '| |::.^| _:|=|' ((`\ (( (( '|=|::::::. _| || |' _ '| |:::::::. |_ |=|'1634 _( )_ 1789'|=|':::::. | || |' ( (_ ~ _) ) '| | ':::' |^||=|* ) (_) ( *|=| '::' | '-------------------' .::::' |_____________________.::::::' .'___________________.::::::'' |_______________.::::'':::''' .'_____________.::::::''::::'' .:::'''' LGB .'::::' .:::::''':. .:::::' "Beneath these clouds and beneath these trees, Lies the body of Solomon Peas. But this ain't Peas - it's just the pod. Peas shelled out and went to God." I like that. That's what your body is. It's just a pod. What happens to a child of God who has trusted Christ as his personal Savior? When he closes his eyes in this life, he opens them in the next. Jesus did not say, "After two or three thousand years, you'll be with Me in paradise." Jesus said, "Today, truly, you'll be with Me in paradise" (Luke 23:43). Are you confident that, if you died today, you'd be with Jesus in paradise? If not, then confess your sins and believe upon His name to save you. Now, go and tell someone! --- , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' ...I gotta add my two cents here... Luke 23:43 doesn't say "Today, truly, you'll be with Me in paradise" The KJV of it says this... Luke 23:43 "And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise." What's the difference? Check out this teaching and you'll see what it is... What was Jesus really saying to the malefactor in Luke 23:43? http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=300 And this teaching explains it even more... The Sleep Metaphor http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/sleepmetaphor.html And this is why saying people normally go to heaven right after they die is just plain evil... Haunting http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/haunting.html -<>- >Quick Jokes I owned a taxi service with my husband William. While sitting in his cab waiting for a fare, William saw that a downpour had left puddles stretching to the curb. Then he heard someone open the back door and get in. When he turned around to ask the destination, William saw the would-be passenger exiting the other door. "Thanks," said the 'passenger,' "I just wanted to get over the water." -------- (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn't know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn't come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy's father to her office. "Your boy won't tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence," she complained. "Come here, son, and sit down," the dad said to the boy. "Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!" -------- I spent more than two hours in the beauty shop getting my hair permed, cut and styled. Relieved to be done, I went up to the receptionist to pay. "Good afternoon!" she said cheerfully. "And who's your appointment with today?" -<>- _A .'`"`'. / , , \ | <\^/> | | < (_) >| /====\ (.--._ _.--.) |\ -`\- /| |(_.- >-.)| \__.-'^'._/ |\ . / _.'\ '----'|'-. _.-' O ;-.__.' \O `o. /o \ \/-.-\/| \ jgs| ;, '.|\| / >"What Seems to Be the Problem, Officer?" Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22 mph" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask . . . Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119." SUBSCRIBE INFO Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ===================================================================== >-->From AndyChaps: **Things that make you go Hmmm.... Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? =================== "Instructions For Life" Never do business with people who knock on your door and say, "I just happened to be in the neighborhood." =================== Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. =================== How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. ==================== **" Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world." ==================== The virtues which keep this world sweet and the faithfulness which keeps it steadfast are chiefly those of the average man. ~~~~~~-- W. Russell Bowie -<>- >An Insight Into President Harry Truman Harry Truman was known for his plain speaking. When he made a speech at the Washington Garden Club, he kept referring to the "good manure" that needed to be used on the flowers. Some society women complained to his wife, Bess. "Couldn't you get the President to say 'fertilizer'?" they asked. Mrs. Truman replied, "Heavens no! It took me twenty-five years to get him to say 'manure." ++++++++++++++++++++++++ For all the men who like to send blonde jokes, Here's payback! _ (=> HaaHaHa _c==] ~ \ |_ TTTT ___________O+-/x\_ __| || |_____________________ / ____ ___ _____ _____ _ __ __ ___ ___ | _ \ / _ \_ _| ___| | | \/ |/ _ \ / _ \ | |_) | | | || | | |_ | | | |\/| | |_| | | | | | _ <| |_| || | | _| | |___| | | | _ | |_| | |_| \_\\___/ |_| |_| |_____|_| |_|_| |_|\___/ cww Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A: Both of them. Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds? A: The bonds mature. Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them. Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: We don't know; it has never happened. Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A: A widow. Q: When do you care for a man's company? A: When he owns it. Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups? A: Put the remote control between his toes. Q: What did God say after creating man? A: I can do better than that. Q: What did God say after creating Eve? A: Practice makes perfect. -<>- >On Assignment: ,_ ,' `\,_ |_,-'_) /##c '\ ( ' |' -{. ) /\__-' \[] /`-_`\ ' \ hjm Sherlock Holmes was sent to heaven to find Adam and Eve. He came back within a day and said he had found them. Watson: "How did you find them so quickly?" Sherlock: "Elementary, my dear Watson, they were the only ones that didn't have belly buttons!" -<>- >Rough Road The road by my house was in bad condition after a rough winter. Every day I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning. Later, on my way home, I noticed no improvement. But where the crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words "Rough Road." -<>- >A Final Tribute.... A member of the "mob" had recently died, and all of his close friends and associates had gathered at his funeral to pay tribute. It was customary for his closest friends to show their "respect" by putting some money into his casket. Ten of them stopped by to visit, and as each one did, he put a crisp $1000 bill into the casket. The last one stopped at the coffin, and some people noticed him putting something in and apparently taking something out as well. After the funeral service, one of the other friends asked him what he put in the casket. He replied: "Well, Joe was one of my closest and dearest friends. I didn't want to be shown up by all the others, so I put in a check for $20,000 and took back $10,000 in change." -<>- _ _ _ _ //|\ //|\ //|\ //|\ c_"/ c_"/ c_"/ c_"/ __/\__ /\__ /\ /\ / \ /\ \ /\/\ /\/\ /____\ /____\ /____\ /____\ S-v /l ll l\ ll >Gone Fishing With The Baby Sitter; A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!" "Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said. The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait." -<>- >GREAT Eyesight: I was walking past an old woman in the street when she said to me, "Son, can you see me across the street, if it`s not too much bother" So I curtiously obliged, walked to the other side of the street and answered "Yes I can see you!!" -<>- >Chooosing A Name For Your Baby: One day a pregnant wife announced that she was going to start looking for names for her and her husbands unborn child. When the father had gotten home from work the mother held up a baby book and said that the name was going to be Ophella. The husband (who was quite witty) didn't like the name he said,"That's a good name, it reminds me of this girl I dated in high school by that name." The next day the mother had changed the name to Sarah. -<>- _---~~(~~-_. _{ ) ) , ) -~~- ( ,-' )_ ( `-,_..`., )-- '_,) ( ` _) ( -~( -_ `, } (_- _ ~_-~~~~`, ,' ) `~ -^( __;-,((())) ~~~~ {_ -_(()) `\ } { } >Budget Time: Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper." -<>- _ _.-'`-._ _ ;.'________'.; _________n.[____________].n_________ |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""] |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,, ;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; >Working??? For The Government: One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turns to his father and asks, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about half of them." ================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Christ's Life http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jesuslife.html I Believe In You http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ibelieveinyou.html Strange Tombstones http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tombstones.html Building Advertising Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildingads.html Micro Folk Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/microart.html Aww Animals #5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals5.html Look Who's Talking 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking4.html Mabel The Chicken http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chicken.html -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Zorbing http://www.zorb.com/ Zombie Boy http://tinyurl.com/5dqdav Zip Code Lookup by City or State http://www.transpomans.com/zcmap/ a set on Flickr http://tinyurl.com/yko9vw6 --- ...Cool! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Demo Las Vegas http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsds.htm Dentist http://www.buffaloschips.com/sese.htm Dhl http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsd.htm Dog Cat http://www.buffaloschips.com/moviezg4.htm Doggie Has Too Much Fun http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjuk.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ==================================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I had the worst study habits in the history of college, until I found out what I was doing wrong -- highlighting with a black magic marker." -Jeff Altman "As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it." --Sam Ewing "I had quite an interesting blind date this weekend. I had only ever talked to her on the phone and was eager to meet her in person. I was quite impressed when I finally did see her. She was about seven and a half feet tall, flat head and a slightly green complexion. But what really turned me on were the bolts in her neck. What can I say, I'm into women with piercings." -Clean Laffs Joe "I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog." -Dwight Schrute, The Office "Dad's are born without the sympathy gene. You can break your leg, hobble into your house, and all your dad will do is look over the paper and grumble, 'Shake it off!'" --Robert G. Lee "I wanted to be a Boy Scout, but I had all the wrong traits. They were looking for kids who were trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Whereas I tended to be devious, fickle, obstructive, hostile, impolite, mean, defiant, glum, extravagant, dirty, and sacrilegious." --George Carlin "When I was a kid getting to borrow the car was a big deal. Before he handed over the keys, my dad always gave me a lecture. 'Now I'm not giving you this car so you can screw it up.' Well, I said to myself, then I don't want it." --Louie Anderson "You can't believe how much hard work it is to con people into thinking that you're productive when you're unemployed. Always thinking up things to tell them you're going to do tomorrow, having to exaggerate every minute of your nowhere day...it's worse than having a job. At least when you're employed, when people ask about your day you can tell them to shut up and mind their own business." --Drew Carey "Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kind of like being the guy on a date." --Caroline Rhea >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Pass this on as it should be of interrest to all who served. The study was carried out in Austrialia on their Vietnam Veterans. ABC Nat. Radio Health Report Autralian Vietnam Vets: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/HealthReportVV.mp3 VV ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************