Mothers & More ... :) Shangy! >-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) I've been wanting to do up this page for a while just because it is an area I am well familiar with ... ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 .d88 8 oooooooooooooooooooooooooooood8888 8 8888888888888888888888888P" 8888 oooooooooooooooo 8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888P" 8888 8 d8 8 8888888888888888P" 8888 8 d88 8 8888888888888P" 8888 8 d888 8 8888888888P" 8888 8 d8888 8 8888888P" 8888 8 d88888 8 8888P" 8888 8 d888888 8 8888oooooooooooooooooooooocgmm8888 8 d8888888 8 .od88888888888888888888888888888888 8 d88888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 8 d888888888 8 d8888888888 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 d88888888888 d ...oood8b 8 d888888888888 d ...oood888888888888b 8 d8888888888888 d ...oood88888888888888888888888b 8d88888888888888 dood8888888888888888888888888888888888b Tech Horror Stories Click Here Yesterday Steve sent me some gorgeous photos which I couldn't resist adding to the Awww Animals page - they are great! Updated: Aww Animals click here Thanks Bunches Steve! ======================================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Get Your Flu Shot Back in December I was in the pediatrician's office with my children (I tagged along because the doctor is also my barber). I had been seeing 'Get Your Flu Shot' signs everywhere, so I asked the doc to give me one, and he obliged. He told me that I might feel slight flu symptoms for a couple of weeks, but not to worry, they would not develop into anything serious. So for two weeks I felt like I had the beginnings of the flu with a scratchy throat, tight chest and slight fever. It never became the flu though…until today. My throat is killing me, I'm congested, my chest feels like I just swallowed a gallon of sea water and everything tastes like the flu. So I called my barber, I mean my doctor, and asked him why I got the flu. He said that ___________ it probably wasn't because of the shot he [___________] gave me, but, more likely due to the blood- {=========} letting he had performed in order to get rid .-' '-. of the evil spirits. / \ /_________________\ Ah, modern medicine. Thank God for NyQuil. | _ | ||\ | \// \| ||| | ,.------. ,.------. || \| / \_X\_/||_ | //:::\ \ //:::\ \ |_________________| jgs \\::::\ / \\::::\ / | | `'------' `'------' '-----------------' ====================================================================== +--------------------- Bizarre Trivia ---------------------+ When it was first introduced in 1929, 7-UP contained lithium which is currently used only by prescription to treat manic depression. 7-UP was originally called Bib- Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda. ____ /\../\ /<>\/<>\ \<> <>/ () \><>-->From Our Friend Pat :) Happy Mothers Day __ /\ ) OO\ ) _ l C ) ..; (\O ( ) (O b-^ (_\(___) ___/__/--^\_____/ \_VJ__ Prettiest Moms on my Friends list! Once you have been hit, you have to hit some other pretty MOMS If you get hit again, You will know you are REALLY pretty! So hit the other pretty moms on your friends list to let them know they are pretty! Before I was a Mom... I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations. Before I was a Mom... ___ / /| /__/- / |\ | | \ \ \ \ / | > **@ \ / \\*''* \ / )| | | / \ | | || - ' unknown I had never been: Puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. Before I was a Mom... I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. Before I was a Mom... I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom... I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. Before I was a Mom... I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom. So send this to someone who you think is a pretty Mom. I just did! ---- ...Sweet! Thanks Pat! ===================================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) >MOTHER`S LOVE - ,"=-. / _),`'". ( /a( ), ) ) C = = ?/ ( )) (_ o-< ) ( `-' \; ( \_ ( | \ ) )| \_/} \ \ \(_;/-|_) )/) `._,--/ / / `!__!! ( (_o)) ---`-._, )--- ------( / |---- | ( | :__/|\_; \ |/ )(\_ /_)--` gpyy \_! The Perfect Love I look at the earth and the sky above, In SEARCH for the `Perfect Love` It could not be found not in passion or lust; For it is only bound with care and trust. It can't be manipulated by rules and things, nor guided by the puppets' strings. There's no perfect love in any abusive thing; just as you think you found it, your efforts bring, sadness and sorrow as you try to cling, to what once was, but a mortal fling. I looked into a farmers' field, Oh! how with love, he did till, and planted his seed with loving care; but there was no "PERFECT" love found there. I turn to the animal world that I might see, the ferocious beast, comforting its young so tenderly. But try as I may, no true love was found that way. I've searched both high and low to see, if "Perfect" love could possibly be, not on earth or in the sea, could it be found; just then as I turned around. Behold, "Perfect love" at last, not in a container nor in a flask; but in the wondrous EYES of a newborn child!! Opening for the first time,and seeing its MOTHER'S smile. So, blessed and true, I knew for it happened to me as well as you. For now where on earth can "PERFECT LOVE" live Except in our mothers heart, and what she gives. So, may GOD bless this mother of mine, and keep HER near to HIM, through Endless Times, For HE will surly find, "THE PERFECT LOVE". My mother passed away in 1996. She died in my arms As I held her close to me And I told her I loved her, And gave her to GOD. Bye MOM, FOR NOW; I'LL SEE YOU SOON. Your son~~~~~ John-Paul. -<,,>- ,-'-. _., . ( '("'-' '). ( ' (( |. )\/( ) '( )) | () |" | | ') ( . ,-. ,-.. __.) /) / ' / / /) / / PjP ~AFTER THE STORM~ After the storm, A rainbow appeared, Brillant streamers formed, And as they neared, I rushed to find, A pot of gold. It's at the end, I've been told. _ _( )_ (_(%)_) (_)\ | __ |/_/ | | VK But when I peered, Into the potted vase, I looked upon your lovely face. With hands extented, I pulled you free. Of all the gold, ,-. / \ ((\ ) )6(\ / \ _`)/&< _ >o< ) ) ( (__/) )) / ( ( \ \ (=.|\ |)=.| \ \ ) / | | / / | |_,/ (`;-. |\ / |\ `' \ / ' ` \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / `. . \ ; \ \ ) / ` \ \ ) ; ' ` \ ) / : ; ,-. ,' ;__,-. ; . . /"""`-=' gpyy /_,`-=-.___,.__,-=-''"""'` YOU MEAN MORE TO ME! Always~~~~~~~~~John-Paul --- ...NICE! Thanks for sharing these John-Paul! ================================================================== >-->From Our Friends at DailyBread: HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY /:""| .@@@@@, |:`66|_ @@@@@@@@, C _) aa`@@@@@@ \ ._| (_ ?@@@@ ) / =' @@@@" /`\\ $``` || |Y| //`\ ."~~~~~". || |#| / | || | (>o<) | || |#| \ | || | /a a\ | A || |#| | | || _|_\ O /_|_|~| :| |=: | | |\ 8)___`"`___(|_| ||_|,| | |_| \ |~~~~~~~~~| $))|| | ((( | \_________/ |~~~`-`~~~| \~~~-| |/ /_\ \| | | `\ / ()/___\() |_________| ( || ||~~~~~|| |_________| | || || || | || | || || || |_||__ __|_|| ||_____|| jgs (____)) (:;:;)) ||-----|| DAILY BREAD | MOTHERHOOD Thank You, Lord, for motherhood With all its vale of tears, For happy moments never dimmed Through all the many years. Today’s Mother’s are jugglers, whether they are businesswomen or stay-at-home moms. The task of completing the mundane stuff of life usually falls in the laps of mothers. Mother’s, choose to stop juggling long enough to spend time with God! Stop over to hear some Old Fashion Gospel Music (left side—click on Gospel Music) STOP OVER TO READ OUR MAY 2007 DAILY BREAD EXPRESS BULLETIN . . . The Church . . . Women in the Bible—The Virtuous Woman . . . A Mother and A Friend . . . VA Corner . . . Test Your Bible Knowledge Each day we try to provide a clear promise from God’s Word to help you face today. When you feel unloved, weak, impatient, bored, discouraged, resentful or feel like complaining, Just Remember: God loves you God cares for you God is ready to meet your needs +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen. Peace ~ Blessings ~ Love from All of Us at Daily Bread Express http://www.dailybreadexpress.com Today, make the words of David your prayer: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips”. Lord, keep me far from anger and close to Your heart. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ To Join Visit Click Here ================================================================ >-->In The Worldly News: >From LifeScript: A Starry Mother’s Day Before they became famous, most celebrities were regular kids who leaned on and learned from their mothers. These famous folks may clam up about some topics, but when it comes to their moms, they can’t hold back the praise. On this Mother’s Day, Hollywood’s biggest stars share memories of their favorite leading lady – mom… Visit here: Starry -<,,>- >From BizarreNews: () /\ ()--' '--() `. .' / .. \ jgs ()' '() -- Thieves steal police logo shirts ------------ ALBUQUERQUE - Police in Albuquerque, N.M., say thieves broke into a local shop and made off with T-shirts bearing the police department and fire department logos. The police said the theft at ADDS Corp. occurred early Wednesday and was reported by an employee shortly before 8 a.m., The Albuquerque Journal reported Thursday. "Unknown subjects broke in and printed several shirts of various sizes and colors with Albuquerque Police Department and Albuquerque Fire Department logos," police spokeswoman Trish Hoffman said. "Some of the shirts had the specialized logo of our gang unit. "They also took the master print -- the actual screen used to make the shirts." Hoffman said investigators are not yet sure of the exact number of shirts stolen and had no current leads. "Right now we just don't have a whole lot to follow up on, but as with any crime, we are looking into it," she said. -- Chicago bank robber wears dress, wig ------------ CHICAGO - A Chicago man disguised himself in a flowered dress and black wig before allegedly robbing a bank. Tyrone Holloman, 35, was charged Wednesday with attempted murder, robbery and home invasion following a bank robbery and police standoff, the Chicago Tribune reported. Holloman had a 9 mm gun when he robbed the LaSalle Bank branch and fled with a security guard's gun, police Cmdr. Steven Peterson told the Tribune. He shot at police as fled the bank and into a home from which a family had fled. Holloman fired 20 to 30 times out of the home's windows during a three- hour standoff before surrendering, police said. Peterson told the Tribune officers found the disguise and the bank's money in the home. -- Medieval town may return to mule transport -------- BAGNOREGIO, Italy - The medieval Italian ghost town of Civita di Bagnoregio may start using mules as a way to keep its link to the modern world. Civita, known in Italy as "The Dying City," is connected to modern Bagnoregio by a narrow concrete footbridge that has started falling apart like the rest of the former Etruscan settlement, ANSA said Thursday. Mayor Erino Pompei said the town, which has just 20 permanent residents, is inviting architects to come up with a solution. Until then, Pompei said the town may start transporting visitors up from Bagnoregio on donkeys. The mayor says there are plenty of donkeys in the surrounding area. ANSA said the mules may also remind some of the Fellini film classic "La Strada" that was shot in the town's streets. ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Betty J :) >Build Me a Bridge ^^ ^^ .. .. [] [] .:[]:_ ^^ ,:[]:. .: :[]: :-. ,-: :[]: :. .: : :[]: : :`._ ,.': : :[]: : :. .: : : :[]: : : : :-._ _,-: : : : :[]: : : :. _..: : : : :[]: : : : : : :-._________.-: : : : : : :[]: : : : :-._ _:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_ !!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^ [] [] [] [] [] [] ~~^-~^_~^~/ \~^-~^~_~^-~_^~-^~_^~~-^~_~^~-~_~-^~_^/ \~^-~_~^-~~- ~ _~~- ~^-^~-^~~- ^~_^-^~~_ -~^_ -~_-~~^- _~~_~-^_ ~^-^~~-_^-~ ~^ ~ ^- _~~_- ~~ _ ~ ^~ - ~~^ _ - ^~- ~ _ ~~^ - ~_ - ~^_~ ~- ^_ ~^ - ^~ _ - ~^~ _ _~^~- _ ~~^ - _ ~ - _ ~~^ - jgs ~^ -_ ~^^ -_ ~ _ - _ ~^~- _~ -_ ~- _ ~^ _ - ~ ^- ~^~ - _ ^ - ~~~ _ - _ ~-^ ~ __- ~_ - ~ ~^_- ~ ~- ^~ - ~^ - ~ ^~ - ~~ ^~ - ~ A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.” The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says ‘nothing's wrong,’ and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?" --- ...A good one! -<**>- ..,,;;;;;;,,,, .,;'';;,..,;;;,,,,,.''';;,.. ,,'' '';;;;,;'' ;' ,;@@;' ,@@;, @@, ';;;@@;,;';. '' ,;@@@@@' ;@@@@; '' ;;@@@@@;;;; ;;@@@@@; ''' .,,;;;@@@@@@@;;; ;;@@@@@@; , ';;;@@@@@@@@;;;. '';@@@@@,. , . ',;;;@@@@@@;;;;;; . '';;;;;;;;;,;;;;@@@@@;;' ,.:;' ''..,, '''' ' .,;' ''''''::'''''''' >EYE My mom only had one eye. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell... Anything for the money we Needed she was such an embarrassment. There was this one day during elementary school. I Remember that it was Field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school... "Your mom only has one Eye!" and they taunted me. I wished that my mom would just disappear from this World so I said to my Mom, "Mom, why don't you have the other eye? You're only going to make me a laughingstock. Why Don't you just die?" My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, It felt good to think That I had said what I'd wanted to say all this Time. Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I Had hurt her feelings very badly. That night...I woke up, and went to the kitchen to Get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was Afraid that she might Wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, There was something pinching At me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of Her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become Successful, because I hated My one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty. Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and Got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I'm living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place that doesn't Remind me of my mom. This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when Someone unexpected came To see me "What? Who's this?" ...It was my mother... Still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye. And I asked her, "Who are you? I don't know you!!!" As if I tried to make That real. I screamed at her "How dare you come to My house and scare my Daughter! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, I'm So sorry. I may have Gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared. Thank goodness... She doesn't recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think About this for the rest Of my life. Then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a Letter regarding a school Reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a Business trip. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, That I used to call a home. Just out of curiosity there, I found my mother Fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand.... It was a Letter to me. She wrote: My son... I think my life has been long enough now. And... I won't visit Seoul anymore... But would it Be too much to ask if I Wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for The reunion. But I decided not to go to the school.... For you... I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I Was an embarrassment For you. You see, when you were very little, you got into an Accident, and lost your Eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to Grow up with only one Eye... So I gave you mine... I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new World for me, in my Place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for Anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me. I Thought to myself, 'it's Because he loves me.' I miss the times when you were still young around me. I miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me. My world shattered!!! Then I cried for the person who lived for me... My Mother. Never take some one for granted, Hold every person Close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones." Remember this always in life. --- ...Good Story Betty - Boy this man was shallow! -<**>- >Vocabulary READ SLOWLY. IT MAY TAKE A MOMENT FOR THE LIGHT TO SHINE, BUT THESE ARE RATHER CLEVER! 1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds. 2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do. 3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage. 4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with 5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate. 6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. 7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living. 8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist. 9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does. 10. LEFT BANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money. 11. MISTY: How golfers create divots. 12. PARADOX: Two physicians. 13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower. 14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm. 15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with. 16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV. 17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring . 18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife. 19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does. 20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. --- ...Loved these! Thanks Betty! ====================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Budha :) ___________________________ / _______ \ || .sss. | F L O R I D A | ||SS"""S | | ||S a\aS | Xxxxx Xxxxxxx | ||S = / | 2892 XxxxxxXx | ||_/ -'__| XXXX, XXX 32708 | |htxx wtxx RR302042 | jgs \____________________________/ >Gas Prices THIS IS NOT THE 'DON'T BUY' GAS FOR ONE DAY, BUT IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET GAS BACK DOWN TO $1.30 PER GALLON. This was sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. If you are tired of the gas prices going up AND they will continue to rise this summer, take time to read this please. Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea. This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day" campaign that was going around last April or May! It's worth your consideration. Join the resistance!!!! I hear we are going to hit close to $ 4.00 a gallon by next summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action. The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can Really work. Please read on and join with us! By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently $2.79 for regular unleaded in my town. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50 - $1.75, we need to take aggressive action to teach t hem that BUYERS control the marketplace..not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war. Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to fol low suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple to do! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!! I am sending this note to 30 people. If each of us send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) .. and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)...and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers. If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!! Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all! (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... Well, let's face it, you just aren't a mathematician. But I am so trust me on this one.) :-) How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from EXXON/MOBIL UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK. --- ...Thanks Budha - who knows - maybe ;) ======================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Steve :) An accident really uncanny, Befell an unfortunate granny. She sat down in a chair While her false teeth were there, And bit herself right in the fanny !!! -<,,>- _|\ _/|_, ,((\\``-\\\\_ ,(()) `))\ ,(())) ,_ \ ((())' | \ ))))) >.__ \ (((' / `-. .c| hjw / `-`' A Horse Breeder Story A Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as the horse got older she became very temperamental. He found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because his horse had become - of all things - a real night mare. --- ...Fun ones! Thanks Steve! ===================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: Happy Mother’s Day! Of all the peoples whom I have studied, from city dwellers to cliff dwellers, I always find that at least 50 percent would prefer to have at least one jungle between themselves and their mothers-in-law. -- Margaret Mead Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the Same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo Da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. -- H. Jackson Brown -<,,>- Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth. And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt. -<..>- RIDDLES How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? Shocked! (Chris, 11) Why did the cucumber blush? Because he saw the salad dressing! If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get? Missile toe! (Lane, 11) Why are baseball players so rich? Because they play on diamonds! (Mike, 9) What is a computer's first sign of old age? Loss of memory. ====================================================================== >-->From The Jokester: In addition to the old lines about "The check is in the mail" and "Certainly, I'll respect you in the morning," modern events have made for modern lies to take their place among the classics. Following are some of the "new" classics: * I never inhaled. * I never watch television except PBS. * I will be devoting my life to finding the real killer of my wife Nicole and Ron Goldman. * The engine is supposed to make that noise. * Just take a left after the lights -- you can't miss it. * Don't worry, I can get another 40 miles when the gauge is on "empty." * Just ignore him -- he's never bitten anyone. * It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing -<>- W .__. .__. [ ] |::| |::| E ._. |::| |::| ._. |\ |:| ._. |::| |::| |/| \ \\|/ |:|_|/| |::| |::|_ |/| |-( )- |:|"|/|_|::| |::|\|_|/| _ | V L |:|"|/|||::| |::|\|||/||:| \ ` ___ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | \/ / ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~pwn This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place, and he takes a seat at the bar. "This is a nice place. I've never been here before," he says to the guy next to him. "Oh, really?" the other replies. "It is a nice place. It's also a very special bar." "Why is that?" the first guy asks. "Well, do you see that painting on the far wall? That's an original Van Gogh, and this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic." "Gee, that's amazing!" says the first guy. "Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you'll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up." "No way! That's impossible," the guy scoffs. "Not at all. Take a look," the other man replies, and with that he walks over to the window and opens it. He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40...50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh -- he comes right back up and sails back through the window. "See? It's fun. You should try it," he says. "Try it? I don't even believe I saw it!" the first man shouts. "It's easy. Watch, I'll do it again." And with that, he falls out the window again. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh -- he comes right back up and sails back through the window. "Give it a try. It's a blast," he says. "Well, what the heck, I'll give it a try," the first man says, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10... 20... 30... 40... 50...60...70...80...90... 100 feet and splat -- he ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk. After watching this, the second guy casually closes the window, heads back to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender arrives with the drink and says, .=., ;c =\ __| _/ .'-'-._/-'-._ /.. ____ \ /' _ [<_->] ) \ ( / \--\_>/-/'._ ) "You know, Superman, \-;_/\__;__/ _/ _/ '._}|==o==\{_\/ / /-._.--\ \_ // / /| \ \ \ / | | | \; | \ \ / / | :/ \: \ \_\ / | /.'| /: | \ \ | | |--| . |--| \_\ / _/ \ | : | /___--._) \ |_(---'-| >-'-| | '-' snd /_/ \_\ you're a real jerk when you're drunk." ================================================================== >-->From the Mouthpiece: >Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn: 1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time. 3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 4. The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip. 5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. 6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11. 7. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too. 12. You should not confuse your career with your life. 13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person. 14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 16. Your true friends love you, anyway. 17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. ================================================================ >-->FUN Places to Net Visit :) >From Linky & Dinky: "DADDY, why are GIRLS on TV ALMOST NAKED all the time?" How can daughters be taught true values when popular culture values only their looks? Take the DADDY TEST... http://www.dadsanddaughters.org/free-resources/DADs-Quiz.aspx OKAY, I'LL BITE (what's "fun with clouds"?) http://www.baraskit.se/random/archive/31/fun_with_clouds.html RICKY BRIDGES MADE 2 WHOLE PEOPLE DISAPPEAR. Kim Creasy erased an entire human being. See how they performed this amazing feat. http://www.integritea.com-a.googlepages.com/home COMEDIANS PAINT BUSES because we let them. http://www.scribd.com/doc/45718/Funniest-Bus-Ads -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: A Mother's Love http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/AMOTHERSLOVE.HTML SwordSisters w/ What is a Mother http://domania.us/SwordSisters/Inspirations6/WhatisaMother.html Connie Sue w/ God Made A Wonderful Mother http://www.thensingsmysoul.net/MothersDaygr4.html John w/ "Mama Loved The Roses" http://heavens-gates.com/elvis/mamalikedtheroses/ John w/ "When You Got It" (Fun Page for all you Moms) http://heavens-gates.com/50s/chick/ Doggie Zone http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Garden/9971/Aladdin-Front.htm Kitty Korner http://www.catcam.us/ To subscribe send a blank email to lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com ============================================================= >--.Quotes & Thunkers: "According to a new study by the University of Washington, 90 percent of children under the age of 2 are couch potatoes. You know what you call these kids? Tater tots." - Jay Leno "Such a beautiful day here in New York City, Roger Clemens took his money for a walk in the park." - David Letterman "We're circulating a petition. We're asking Gov. Schwarzenegger to officially declare June 5 'Paris Hilton Is Going to Jail Day'. " - Jimmy Kimmel "Guess what else? It's also the 77th birthday of the Twinkie. And I was surprised, because I thought the only 77-year-old Twinkie was Goldie Hawn." -Dave Letterman "Today marks the 47th anniversary of the invention of the birth control pill. And for all you women out there that forgot to take yours, Happy Mother's Day!" -Jay Leno "Anheuser-Bush is being accused of creating a new alcoholic drink designed to appeal to underage drinkers. The critics may have a point: The new drink is called Harry Potter and the Malt Liquor." -Conan O'Brien ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSEE :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: a href="http://tinyurl.com/2vrfzv">This Weeks regular Shangy emails ************************************************************************ -->Want to ADVERTISE in The Shangy FUN Listt Publication? >To ADVERTISE: Advertise ************************************************************************ -->Missed Any of These Teachings? 'BABES INN CHRIST','IN The Beginning', 'Crossing The Line','NEVER Give Up', 'FEAR - Feeling Kind Of Buggy', 'HAUNTINGS', 'Christianity And The Renewed Mind', or 'Curse Of The Law' --BE SURE TO Tell me which one you want or you'll get them all :) >For a Lesson: Teaching ************************************************************************ --Want TIPS to help TEACH A CHILD TO BE SAFFE and STOP ABDUCTIONS? Child Help ************************************************************************ PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS They keep our service "priceless" -->LET'S Have FUN and Do Some SHOPPING!! We've got patches, Phones, Almonds, and Chains, Furniture, Chocolates, Cheese, and Games. Clothing, flowers, dishes, and shoes, Desserts, Cherished Teddies, and Auto Tools. We've got NCAA, NFL, MLB, and NBA, Disney, Name a star, Movies, and KinKade. Jewelry, furs, leather, and lighting, Music, instruments, and magazines at best pricing. >Take a gander at Shangrala's Yellow Page :) http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/yellow.html Get It Here ***********************************************************************