Muhammad Ali, DARWIN, And More... :) Shangy!
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Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
Google notified me that my ads on the web site needed updated
so I have been working on that. My goal is to keep the site
free and not need donations, so doing the extra work to achieve
this is well worth it in my mind. However, it has been grueling
and I am only half way through the editing so far!
-<>-
>Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This Too hot to handle one comes from forwards from
Linda, Sharon and Wesley. Most beautiful and so unusual
I had to look it up to make sure the photos were not
PaintShop. Check it out here...
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Albino Hummingbird
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ahummingbird.html
---
...Awesome! Thanks Linda, Sharon, and Wesley!
=============================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone: Owls - A True Story
Each evening bird lover Tom Rowe stood in his __ __
backyard in Devon, England, hooting like an \ `-'"'-` /
owl -- and one night, an owl called back to him. / \_ _/ \
For a year, the man and his feathered friend | d\_/b |
hooted back and forth. Rowe even kept a log .'\ V /'.
of the "conversation." Just as Rowe thought / '-...-' \
he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter- | / \ |
species communication, his wife had a chat with \/\ /\/
next door neighbour, Nancy Hollis. jgs==(||)---(||)==
"My husband spends his nights... calling out to owls," said
Mrs. Rowe.
"That's odd," Mrs. Hollis replied. "So does my John."
Then it dawned on them.
_ _
(_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
(_.===============================================._)
They Want A Baby
A man and a woman had been married for ten years and decided to
try and have kids. They had not been using birth control for the
entire time they had been married, so they thought they may have a
problem conceiving.
.'. The woman decided to go to the
/ '. __ gynecologist and see if the problem
| '. / was with her. She had been hard of
_|________'.______/ hearing since she was a small child.
| | The doctor examined her and came in
\ / to give her his opinions.
'.--. .--.'
/ \__/ \ He said, "I'm sorry, but the problem
jgs \ / \ / is with you. You have insufficient
'--' '--' passion and if you ever have a baby
it will be a miracle."
The woman was very upset and went home crying. Her husband got home
and asked her what was wrong.
She said, "The doctor told me I've got a fish in my passage and if
I ever have a baby it will be a mackerel."
=============================================================
+----------------+ BIZARRE PREDICTIONS +----------------+
I can't predict what I'm going to have for lunch this afternoon,
but there are people out there called futurologists who claim to
be able to make accurate "educated guesses" about what is going
to happen in the distant future.
In a story from the BBC two prominent futurologists take some
shots at what the world will be like in 100 years. Following are
their 10 most likely predictions.
1. Oceans will be extensively farmed and not just for fish.
We will need to feed 10 billion people and nature can't keep up
with demand, so we will need much more ocean farming for fish.
But algae farming is also on the way for renewable energy.
2. We will have the ability to communicate through thought
transmission.
Transmission will be just as easy as other forms of brain
augmentation. Picking up thoughts and relaying them to another
brain will not be much harder than storing them on the net.
3. Thanks to DNA and robotic engineering, we will have created
incredibly intelligent humans who are immortal.
It is more likely that direct brain links using electronics will
achieve this, but GM will help a lot by increasing longevity -
keeping people alive until electronic immortality technology is
freely available at reasonable cost.
4. We will be able to control the weather.
There is already some weather control technology for mediating
tornadoes, making it rain and so on, and thanks to climate change
concerns, a huge amount of knowledge is being gleaned on how
weather works.
5. We will all be wired to computers to make our brains work faster.
We can expect this as soon as 2050 for many people. By 2075 most
people in the developed world will use machine augmentation of
some sort for their brains and, by the end of the century, pretty
much everyone will.
6. We will have figured out nuclear fusion.
This is likely by 2045-2050 and almost certain by 2100. It's widely
predicted that we will achieve this. What difference it makes will
depend on what other energy technologies we have.
7. There will only be three languages in the world - English,
Spanish and Mandarin.
This does look like a powerful trend, other languages don't stand a
lot of chance. Minor languages are dying at a huge rate already and
the other major ones are mostly in areas where everyone educated
speaks at least one of the other three.
8. California will lead the break-up of the US.
There are some indications already that California wants to split
off and such pressures tend to build over time. It is hard to see
this waiting until the end of the century.
9. Space elevators will make space travel cheap and easy.
First space elevators will certainly be around, and although "cheap"
is a relative term, it will certainly be a lot cheaper than
conventional space development.
10. Deserts will become tropical forests.
Desert greening is progressing so this is just about possible.
===============================================================
>-->From TheMasti:
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######^###### b'ger
Muhammad Ali turns 70 today, and to celebrate we have compiled
his greatest quotes.
Here are 37 of Ali's most vicious, funny and profound sayings -
one for each knock-out of his professional career.
ON BOXING
1 - 'I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale,
only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a
brick. I'm so mean I make medicine sick.'
2 - 'There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too
smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only
way I'll ever get licked.'
3 - 'I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my
hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.'
4 - 'I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Dempsey were just
jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own.'
5 - 'If you dream of beating me, you'd better wake up and apologize.'
6 - 'There are two things that are hard to hit and see. That's a
spooky ghost and Muhammad Ali.'
7 - 'I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I
knock 'em out, I pick the round.'
8 - 'Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each
other up.'
9 - 'People don't realize what they had till it's gone.
Like President Kennedy - nobody like him. Like The Beatles, there
will never be anything like them. Like my man, Elvis Presley -
I was the Elvis of boxing.'
ON JOE FRAZIER
10 - 'Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau
of Wildlife.'
11 - 'Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around
and go down the back of his head.'
12 - 'It will be a killer, and a chiller, and a thriller, when I get
the gorilla in Manila.'
13- 'I always bring out the best in men I fight, but Joe Frazier, I'll
tell the world right now, brings out the best in me. I'm gonna tell ya,
that's one helluva man, and God bless him.'
ON GEORGE FOREMAN
14 - 'I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing. And the shadow won.'
15 - 'Floats like a butterfly, sting like a bee, his hands can't hit
what his eyes can't see.'
16- 'Now you see me, now you don't. George thinks he will, but I know
he won't!'
17- 'It's a divine fight. This Foreman - he represents Christianity,
America, the flag. I can't let him win. He represents pork chops.'
18 -'That all you got George?' (Ali during the Rumble in the Jungle)
.
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ON FLOYD PATTERSON
19- 'Hey Floyd - I seen you! Someday I'm gonna whup you! Don't you
forget, I am the greatest!'
20 - 'I'll beat him so bad, he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.'
Cassius Clay vs Sonny Liston: Tale of the tape
ON SONNY LISTON
21 - 'Sonny Liston is nothing. The man can't talk. The man can't
fight. The man needs talking lessons. The man needs boxing lessons.
And since he's gonna fight me, he needs falling lessons.'
22 - 'I shook up the world! I shook up the world!'
23 - 'Why, chump, I bet you scare yourself to death just starin' in
the mirror. You ugly bear! You ain't never fought nobody but tramps
and has beens. You call yourself a world champion? You're too old and
slow to be champion!'
24 - 'Get up sucker and fight. Get up and fight.'
ON HOWARD COSSELL
25 - 'You're always talking about, Muhammad, you're not the same man
you were 10 years ago. Well, I asked your wife, and she told me
you're not the same man you was two years ago!'
ON GOLF
26 - 'I'm the best. I just haven't played yet.'
ON LIFE
27 - 'When you can whip any man in the world, you never know peace.'
28 - 'Cassius Clay is a slave name. I didn't choose it and I don't
want it. I am Muhammad Ali, a free name - it means beloved of God -
and I insist people use it when people speak to me and of me.'
29 - 'What's my name, fool? What's my name?'
(Ali to Ernie Terrell who refused to call him Muhammad Ali)
30 - 'I know I got it made while the masses of black people are
catchin' hell, but as long as they ain't free, I ain't free.'
31 - 'Why should they ask me to put on a uniform and go 10,000
miles from home and drop bombs and bullets on brown people while
so-called Negro people in Louisville are treated like dogs?'
32 - 'I got nothing against no Viet Cong. No Vietnamese ever called
me a 'nigger'.'
33 - 'A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has
wasted 30 years of his life.'
34 - 'Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer.'
35 - 'One of these days, they're liable to make the house I grew up
in a national shrine.'
36 - 'A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the
dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing.'
37 - 'It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.'
-<>-
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>Tips - How to Get Rid of Belly Fat
In the age of six-pack abs and eight-pack abs, a rim of fat around your
waistline is uncomfortable for sure. Not only it spoils your appearance
and beauty, belly fat can pose major health hazards too. If you have
loads of fat deposited around your belly, you are more prone to
cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, cancer and many other health
problems. So the effort to get a flat belly is of huge craze in this
21st century.
The reasons behind a fat belly: The unused fat of our body gets easily
accumulated in our abdominal region. A fat waistline is the effect of
an irregular lifestyle, unbalanced diet, bad sleeping pattern,
consumption of excessive alcohol, lack of physical activities and
exercises.
The Cure: There is no miracle cure which will reduce your belly fat
overnight. And no particular treatment is there targeting only your
belly fat. But in a positive note, the normal weight loss programs
affects the belly fat faster than the other parts of the body because
the type of fat deposited in your belly is metabolically more active
and easier to lose. So don't lose your heart. Gear up and start a
strict regime to trim your tummy.
Home Based Remedies: Rather than spending hundreds of dollars in tummy
tucking sessions and pills, it is always safer and more economic to try
for the natural home based remedies, if you have patience and you are
consistent to continue the treatment for a longer span.
Natural Remedies to Get Rid of Belly Fat
1. A regular schedule of cardio vascular exercises like walking,
jogging, swimming and cycling helps in overall weight loss and reducing
belly fat too.
2. Cut your sugar intake. Say no to sweets.
3. Instead of having heavy meals divide it in 4 to 5 mini meals as it
prevents the fat from getting deposited.
4. Have lemon tea or ginger tea with cinnamon as substitute of coffee.
5. Cut off your salt intake and keep a track of your cholesterol level.
6. Increase your water intake. Along with exercise, drinking plenty of
water will help you in your weight loss program.
7. Discard processed foods in your diet. Rather eat plenty of fresh
vegetables, salad and fruits.
8. According to latest research, calcium has a positive impact in
reducing belly fat. So drink milk and dairy products rich in calcium.
9. High protein diet rich with fiber and whole grains are best for
burning belly fat.
10. Have adequate sleep. Your sleep pattern controls your body weight.
11. Try to lead a stress free life. Stress generally increases our
appetite. If appetite is enhanced we consume food in large quantity and
the fat may get deposited in our abdominal area.
12. Do not completely cut eating fatty food as fat is an essential
source of energy. So try to intake mostly polyunsaturated fatty acids
like sunflower oil, soya oil etc which are also rich in omega 3 fatty
acids and they help in shedding your flab.
Trimming your tummy or burning belly fat is a part of an entire weight
loss program. And if one can do it with dedication and determination,
belly fat will get reduced gradually in due course of time. Wish you
get great abs soon!
-<>-
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"Sporty" "Ginger" "Posh" "Scary" "Baby"
>THE SEVEN C's OF SUCCESS..
THE SEVEN C's OF SUCCESS by Brian Tracy
Clarity: Eighty percent of success comes from being clear on who you
are, what you believe in and what you want.
Competence: You can't climb to the next rung on the ladder until you
are excellent at what you do now.
Constraints: Eighty percent of all obstacles to success come from
within. Find out what is constraining in you or your company and deal
with it.
Concentration: The ability to focus on one thing single-mindedly and
see it through until it's done takes more character than anything else.
Creativity: Flood your life with ideas from many sources. Creativity
needs to be exercised like a muscle; if you don't use it you'll lose it.
Courage: Most in demand and least in supply, courage is the willingness
to do the things you know are right.
Continuous learning: Read, at the very least, one book a week on
business to keep you miles ahead of the competition. And just as you
eat and bathe, organize your time so you spend 30 minutes a day
exploring email, sending messages, going through websites, because like
exercise, it's the only way you can keep on top of technology. If you
get away from it, you'll lose your edge...
=============================================================
>-->From Our Friend PatDeE :)
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>WOMEN AS EXPLAINED BY ENGINEERS
Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works?
Well....it's finally explained here in one,
easy-to-understand illustration:
View Animation here:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/factory.html
Every one of those little blue balls is a thought
about something that needs to be done, a decision
or a problem that needs to be solved.
A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and
to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour
---
...Oh My! LOL! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
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>Golf
The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles
and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make
plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a
path."
"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt
you to go walking with her. In fact that shared experience would be
good for you both."
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room,
slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" said the Instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf
bag while we walk?"
Brings a tear to your eye doesn't it?
This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.
---
...LOL! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
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>The 2011 DARWIN Awards
There was a guy in New York who removed his helmet while riding his
motorcycle to protest the state’s helmet law and lost control of the
motorcycle resulting in an accident that caused his death. You guessed
it, the officers at the scene said, ”had he been wearing a helmet it is
likely that he would not even have been hospitalized”. That didn’t
even make the list they must have a great deal to choose from.
The 2011 DARWIN Awards!
It's with great pleasure that I announce.....
It's that time again.....The Darwin Awards are out! These Annual
Honors are given to the persons who did the human gene pool the biggest
service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
You may recall that last year's winner was the fellow who was killed
by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting
to tip a free soda out.
This year's winner was a genuine Rocket Scientist...no jive! Read
on...and remember that each and every one of these is a true story.
The nominees were:
Semifinalist #1
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
cheaply because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed
gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and
he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and
fire burned his house down, killing both he and his sister.
Semifinalist #2
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low
altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to
moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own
aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with
their pants around their ankles.
Semifinalist #3
A 22-year-old Reston, VA man was found dead after he tried to
use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle.
Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a
bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot,
anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and
hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby.
"The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the
distance between the trestle and the concrete," Carmichael said. Police
say the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."
Semifinalist #4
A man in Alabama died from numerous rattlesnake bites. It seems
that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the
rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards
candidate - was hospitalized, but lived.
Semifinalist #5
Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the
smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building,
extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they
had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of
the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the
technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that
resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like
object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to
three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter
was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of
causing the blast had never been thought of as ''especially bright'' by
his peers.
And now the winner of this year's Darwin Award; as always, awarded
posthumously;
THE 2011 WINNER!
Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal
embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a
curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was
a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.
Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An
amateur rocket scientist had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet
Assisted Take Off...actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is used to give
heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from
short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and
found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to
the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts as best could be determined are that the operator of
the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately
3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and
melted asphalt at that location.
The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum
thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in
excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25
seconds.
The driver, and soon-to-be pilot, would have experienced
G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full
afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the
event.
However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for
about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and
completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick
rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an
additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125
feet, leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the
driver's remains were not recoverable.
Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground
speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not
actually on the ground.
Really.....we couldn't make this stuff up.
People like these are all around us.
They have kids and they vote!
---
...LMAO! Thanks PatDeE!
=============================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
[Politics]
>From Christian Coalition of America:
RSC Chairman Jordan Blasts Obama’s Anti-jobs Keystone Pipeline Decision
Barack Obama, rejecting the advice of his union supporters, said in
effect that he was not interested in creating 20,000 (almost immediate)
jobs when he rejected the building of the Keystone oil pipeline from
Canada to the Gulf of Mexico this afternoon.
Speaker of the House John Boehner, R-OH, accused Obama of “selling out
American jobs for politics.” The Chairman of the 180-member strong
conservative Republican Study Committee in the United States House of
Representatives, Congressman Jim Jordan from Ohio, said: “The law
clearly says the President can only block this project if he determines
it ‘would not serve the national interest.’ How are thousands of new
jobs, cheaper energy and greater security not in our national
interest?”... (READ MORE)
http://tinyurl.com/87eqm6y
-<>-
>From the TeaParty:
Still room for 'conservative alternative' ...?
http://tinyurl.com/7tyzepm
-<>-
>From Our Friend EdLaF:
BREAKING! MILITARY EQUIPMENT Filmed 1\19\12 near Santa Cruz,
Southbound -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS-PmhhxPG4&feature=player_embedded
HEALING FREQUENCY - YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tJGS2WKidY&feature=related
Look who's calling Obama a 'vulture socialist'
Forget attacks on free-market capitalism. A national media figure is
thrashing President Obama as a "vulture socialist." Find out who has
the guts to say it, and why.
http://www.wnd.com//?p=107667
---
...Interesting! Thanks EdLaF:
-<>-
>From Human Events:
President Obama Indicted
http://content.eaglepub.com/?lara4Z5F.wFsDKrIqoP-HUgdquWsuNMRl
>From BizareNews:
This story might sound familiar to long time Bizarre News readers, but
it is not a repeat. In almost the exact same circumstances as a story I
wrote about several years ago, an Illinois man managed to shoot himself
in the head with a nail gun, lodging a three-and-a-half inch nail in
his brain.
Dante Autullo was working in his garage when his nail gun recoiled,
bringing it up against his head. Autullo saw a small wound, but thought
it came from contact with the nail gun.
Wiping away the blood he continued to work, but when he woke up the
next day he felt nauseated with a nasty headache. His fiancee took him
to the hospital where he underwent surgery.
When he woke up 36 hours later Autullo had no idea what had happened.
He had to be shown the X-ray of the nail in his brain before he would
believe it.
Doctors removed the nail and replaced the piece of skull with a plate
of titanium. Incredibly he seems to show no debilitating side effects.
And as a bonus his friends now get to call him ol' Titanium Head.
*-- Bill almost put him back into hospital --*
NEW YORK - An unemployed New York doorman was cured of pneumonia, but
says the $44 million hospital bill almost gave him asthma. Alexis
Rodriguez, 28, was one of several hundred patients to receive wildly
inflated bills because of a computer error, the New York Daily News
reported. The bill from Bronx-Lebanon Hospital should have been for no
more than $300, but instead was listed as $44,776,587. Rodriguez told
the newspaper, "I almost had an asthma attack." The billing firm, PHY
Services, said it wasn't too hard to find the problem -- a
subcontractor that prints the bills put the invoice number into the
"amount due" space, the Daily News reported.
*-- Fla. employees paid to get drunk --*
SARASOTA, Fla. - The Florida Department of Law Enforcement revealed it
paid 15 employees to get drunk to test the accuracy of the Intoxilyzer
8000 breath test. The FDLE revealed to a panel of judges in Sarasota
County in December that it spent $330 on alcohol, mixers and Doritos
for 15 employees to drink on company time and blow into the Intoxilyzer
8000s to test their accuracy, the Sarasota (Fla.) Herald Tribune
reported Thursday. However, the judges expressed skepticism about the
accuracy of the study because the blood work from the employees was not
ready in time for the December hearing. The judges are considering the
future of the use of the machines in Sarasota and Manatee counties. The
$8,000 study was performed after investigators found many flawed
machines had stayed in service in the state and breath test results
from about 100 cases in the two counties were thrown out as a result of
the probe. The judges are expected to issue a ruling in the coming days.
*-- Man released from prison without pants --*
VANERSBORG, Sweden - A Swedish man who completed a two-month prison
sentence walked out of prison without pants or shoes after he was
denied money to buy new clothes. The man, referred to only as Percy in
media reports, told officials at the Brinkeberg prison in Vanersborg he
had outgrown the pants he was wearing when he was arrested for unlawful
driving, The Local reported Thursday. The prison service said in
denying Percy money for new clothes that he had $118 among the personal
items he reclaimed upon his release and was therefore able to purchase
his own pants and shoes. Percy said he was unable to send for extra
clothes in time for his release because he only learned a few days
before he was to be released that his request for the prison to buy him
clothes had been rejected. He said the prison offers pants and shoes
for sale to released prisoners, but purchasing the items would have
left him without enough money for food. The former prisoner said he was
able to find a ride to Trollhattan while wearing only his shirt,
underwear and socks. He said he was able to find pants and shoes for a
more reasonable price than those offered by the prison.
*-- British man has passport tattooed on back --*
LONDON - A British man had his passport tattooed on his back and even
used the image as an ID to take money out of the bank, he said. Richard
Ashton, 27, told The Sun he had his passport inked on his back while
backpacking in Australia in 2006. "I wanted something to remember my
holiday by, but also wanted something patriotic," he said. "My
girlfriend at the time thought I was a bit daft, but eventually she
found it hilarious. That seems to be the general reaction." The London
personal trainer said when he ran out of cash on his trip to Australia,
he took off his shirt at a bank to use as ID. "The cashier gave me a
strange look. She typed in my name and details after reading my tattoo
and allowed me $50." Ashton, who was born in Sydney and holds dual
citizenship, said he keeps his tattoo covered up most of the time. "I
don't walk around with my top off." British officials said Ashton
couldn't use the tattoo as ID to go abroad or enter Britain.
*- Police: Man drove while claiming blindness -*
ARONA, Italy - Italian authorities said a man is facing fraud charges
after he was found to have been driving a car and riding a bike while
collecting benefits for blindness. Police in Arona said they cross-
checked pension data with driving license records and found the
69-year-old man, whose name was not released, had been driving while
collecting disability checks for being "totally blind," ANSA reported
Thursday. Investigators said the man collected more than $204,000 in
benefits over the course of 18 years.
*- Police: Man fled so he could smoke crack -*
GAINESVILLE, Fla. - Police in Florida said a man who led officers on a
chase told them he fled so he could smoke his crack before going to
jail. Gainesville police said officers attempted to pull over a blue
pickup truck Saturday because it had a headlight out, but the driver
failed to stop and ran a red light while fleeing the pursuing vehicle,
The Gainesville (Fla.) Sun reported Wednesday. Cpl Angelina Valuri,
police spokeswoman, said an Alachua County Sheriff's Office deputy
joined the chase and the truck eventually stopped at a Kangaroo gas
station on U.S. 441 in Micanopy. The driver, Kenneth Stine, 53, told
officers he stopped fleeing because he was out of gas. He told the
officers he had refused to pull over because he had just purchased some
crack and wanted to smoke it in his vehicle before going to jail. Stine
was arrested and charged with fleeing and attempting to elude,
possession of drug paraphernalia and violating his felony drug
probation from a 2010 case.
=============================================================
>-->From Our Friend Bunni :)
____________________ ____________________
| | ____ | |
| CAN YOU GIVE ME | / \I -BUT I CAN ADD A |
| ONE GOOD REASON | ( NO PITCHFORK AND A | /\
| WHY I SHOULD LET | \____/I TAIL TO THAT "GO | ( )
| YOU IN? | | TO HELL" ICON. | _)(_ _
|_______________ .___| |_____. _____________|~ __ ~-._ \"~-.
\| |/ (_ /~,^ .r~T T~i. ^.~\ _)
` ' \ \/ ,^|| | | ||^. \/ /
_____ ___ _ Y / || |[]| || \ Y
.--. .^ ,^^\.-. {___~ ) | Y || | | || Y |
/ __ \ / ) / -- )_ \ c|..^o | | || |[]| || | |
/ ( (\ \ /( ) ,>.| ) \ |c_,| <| |===||=| |=||===| |>
( ( (\ Y __ (/ o Y).--^-------. )_/l <| |===||=|[]|=||===| |>
( ( (\l)/ \ )I | [~~~~~~~\| `--.\---x. || | | || | |
( ( ( (|Y Y ( |\| | \ _____\__ _ _/r~) )\_ ||_|[]|_||_ _| |
( \ \ || |____>-| | T = |.__\\<\`^ ", \~|| | | || ~ | |"~
\ \ (\| '~~ Y____|_I__l_n___|_ / `---c~~^. Y'~^|_.^"`|_.-^-|_,
( \ ( ( (| | | | [=o H .=.]_ `-I~T~Y |- __
( \ \ l | | l___[___H____] ~"_| | | ,t __ "~ ~"
\ ( \ \I\ | |[_________H____] / | l_j_.-T |--"~~ ~"-.__,.-"~
\ \ \ ||`----^-' :\_______H__/ \/| | |-.._
( \|; : | |.. .. H.|^,__.-| : : |_ _.--~~"--..
\ | _ l _ : ||| || H|| __ ! | ' l "~" -Row ._ _."
_|,-' ~"-' ~-.L|^.||_H|^-"~ ~"-. ._ \_.-"~-.__ "~
"~ ._ __,--.__~~ ~-._ _. "~~ ~~~"
~~" ~~" "~~~"
->HeavenComic<-
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint
Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful
banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other
people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her.
"Hello - How are you!
We've been waiting for you!
Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a
wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled 'Love', and Saint Peter welcomed her
into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to
watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you
were ill.
And then I won the multi-state lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.
And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in
Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here
I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia .."
Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry...
There will be Hell to pay later!
---
...LOL! Thanks Bunni!
=============================================================
,;;;:.
;;''''`:
;( O O| ,;;,
| _\| \ |
\__-/ ,' /
| | / /
_,--''`---'''-------.,-' /
,' / `. | _,'
,' |====== WM =| |-'
\ ,======| |=|''---'
/ `. ,' \ \/ /
,'. ,'`' | --._ |
,' ,' | |
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';;' ;:::::::::|
;:::::::::::\
/::::::;:::::|
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/ / \ |
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\_,-\ | |
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// \_/ \\ `.##\
|\_/ \_/| `--`
jrei \/ \_/ \/
`-...-'
>-->Stupid Things Actually Said By
Commentators In The World Of Soccer...
1. Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score
stays this way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.
2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.
3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100%
record.
4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.
5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour: almost all
the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.
6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.
7. Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn't here today, which
strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.
8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the
other need to score two to win.
9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.
10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made,
but there were eight.
============================================================
_____ .-"'""""''-.
|__,-'" _.,/ ;
} ,-' | ;
| ; /" ,'
{ '..;,./_ o
|-.,_ ;"; "|\ AsH/PjP
""""" '-.,__.------'______/)_____________________________________
/ '..' () / /
/________ o / . \ o _________/
/|/o ____ / /|" / (|==;o / o___/|\
/_|/"' / /-, )\ _.--"/"-, ' " _.--/ ~|\ / |_\
______/_//) / / :'..' / / : "/- / / / (\/_/__/____/""|
"""""/|"'..' / / / ( / / /) ( / / '..|\""/""""""""
/_| / /.-' o `._ /_.-' `. / / |_\/
/-----' / /|" / / . / `-----/
/--------' /) / o;==|) __`--------/
/ '..' / " ' '..' /
/__________________________/____________________________/
>-->From CleanLaffs:
The proper response to "Good morning" is not "Prove it!"
***
Life is spent between episodes of women being mad at you.
***
"You want us to do WHAT?" --Ancient Chinese wall engineer.
-<>-
On a curvy mountain highway late one night, my dad was com-
plaining about the car behind us. "That guy must be drunk!"
he said. "Every time I move over to let him pass, he slows
down. When I get back on the road, he gets closer and stays
on my tail."
A few minutes later, the car turned on a set of flashing
blue lights. Coming up to our window, the officer said,
"Sir, I'd like you to take an alcohol test. You've been
swerving on and off the road for the last fifteen minutes!"
-<>-
It was rush hour, and the city bus filled until the aisle was
jammed with standing commuters. One woman, precariously
balanced on spike heels, clung to a handgrip. Suddenly the
bus took a sharp corner, flinging her across the laps of two
seated male passengers. There was silence and all eyes turned
on the threesome.
Laughter erupted as the quick-witted woman righted herself
and quipped, "All these years I thought I was British, and
now I find I'm a Laplander!"
-<>-
After living in our house for four years, we were moving out
of state. My husband had backed the truck up to our garage
door so that we could start loading all of the boxes. Just
then one of our neighbors came walking across the lawn
carrying a plate full of muffins.
"Isn't that thoughtful," my husband said to me. "They must
have realized that we packed our kitchen stuff."
The neighbor stuck out his hand and boomed, "Welcome to the
neighborhood!"
-<>-
Margaret was really peeved! She was arguing with the druggist
because her favorite cure-all could not be bought without a
prescription. "Look, lady. You can't have this without a pre-
scription because it's a habit-forming drug."
"IT IS NOT!" yelled Margaret! "I ought to know...I've been
taking it regularly for seventeen years!"
-<>-
There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of
the local market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head
of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about
the matter. So he walked into the back and said, "There's
some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of
lettuce." As he was finishing saying this he turned around
to find the man standing right behind him, so he added,
"and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half..."
The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost
got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I
was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You
think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are
you from son?"
The boy replied, "Canada, Sir."
"Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?" asked the manager.
The boy replied, "They're all just up-tight homely women and
hockey players up there."
"Really," replied the manager, "My wife is from Canada!"
The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"
-<>-
Flying through the Midwest in the summertime means one
thing: turbulence. I was working as a flight attendant on
one particular flight when we hit a patch of very rough
air just after a young teenager, obviously on her first
flight, had entered the bathroom. After the bumps had sub-
sided, she exited the bathroom, a look of sheer terror
etched on her face.
"Are you all right?" I asked as I helped her to her seat.
"Don't worry, that turbulence was as bad as it gets."
"So that's what it was," she said. "I thought I'd pushed
the wrong button."
-<>-
The Dean of admissions at Bates College in Maine reads through
reams of applications from nervous high school seniors, some
maybe a little more nervous than others. Here are a few...
"If there is a single word to describe me, that word would be
'profectionist'."
"I was abducted into the National Honor Society."
"I function well as an individual and a group."
"Mathematics has hung like a stork around my neck."
-<>-
During a heartfelt chat with her friend about relationships,
my wife sighed and said, "You know, if something happened to
Lloyd, I don't think I could ever marry again."
Her friend nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean," she
said. "Once is enough."
-<>-
An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. His
wife suggests he take out an ad in the newspaper, which he does.
But two weeks later, there's still no sign of the pooch.
"What did you write in the ad?" his wife asks.
"'Here, boy,'" he replies.
=============================================================
>-->From JokeCentral:
() `.. .. `... `.. `.... `.. `..
()-'`-. `.. `..`. `.. `.. `.. `.. `.. `..
`| |\\ `.. `.. `.. `..`.. `..`.. `. `..
' |__| \) `.. `.. `.. `..`.. `..`.. `.. `..
. //\\__ `.. `.. `. `..`.. `..`.. `. `.. `..
(( `--( `.. `..`.. `. .. `.. `.. `. `. `....
. )\ `.. .. `.. `.. `.... `.. `..
,--._
` ,-'`- ;-. `.. `.. `. `.. `..
,: , `. `. `.. `. .. `.. `..
/. ` ,-' . \ `. `.. `. `.. `.. `..
( ; `. ) `... `. `.. `.. `.. `..
| ' , `. | `. `.. `...... `.. `.. `..
( / . ( ) `. `. `.. `.. `.. `..
\ ) `/ `.... `.. `.. `..`........`........
`. / ' ,'
`-:_ _,-' Consider yourself hit by a snowball !!
`--'
-shimrod
>It's PUNny!
TOM SWIFTIES
"I don't think it is possible to know the mind of
god," said Agnes stoically. (Jason Dias)
"I loved drives through the country before all
these signs came up," said Bill bored.
(Gunjan Saraf)
"I think I'll publish this Tom Sawyer book under
a pseudonym," remarked Wayne. (Gary Hallack)
"Somebody just broke my percussion instrument, "
Tim bawled. (Gunjan Saraf)
"But I can always do well with you as my
partner," said Amy ably. (Bob Dvorak)
"I dislike the whole of Greece," said Tom
discretely. (Jason Dias)
"I'm going to just forge ahead," said Beau,
"regardless of what I maylose." (Bob Dvorak)
"We don't need a machine to do that," said Arti
sans hesitation.. (Gunjan Saraf)
"I assisted the dressmaker today," said Tom
formally. (Jason Dias)
"I don't know what (b2 - 4ac) equals and I don't
care!" said Tom indiscriminately. (Clinton
Rogers)
"I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish.
(Asa Sparks)
"I foresee things getting better," said Claire
buoyantly. (Bob Dvorak)
"I helped reattach that man's organ," Tom
remembered. (Jason Dias)
"I don't think the animal rights people have it
quite right," Tom inferred. (Jason Dias)
"Have you ever been abducted by aliens?" Tom
probed. (Jason Dias)
"I can't think of any more poetry," she said
adversely. (Paul Dickson)
"There's a fee for crossing this bridge," Tom
told us. "No, there's not any more," his
supervisor extolled. (Gary Hallock)
"Why shouldn't I stir my yoghurt with a
ball-point pen?" Tom bickered. (Gill Krebs)
"My swimming coach made me cut my hair very
short," Cathy cried very distressed. (Stan Kegel)
MONDEGREENS
Will you need me, will you still feed me, when
I'm six feet four? (... when I'm sixty-four) The
Beatles "When I'm Sixty-Four" (Gavin Edwards)
There's a bathroom on the right. ( There's a bad
moon on the rise) .The Credence Clearwater
Revival "There's a bad moon a risin'": (Jason
Dias)
It's a hard egg (It's a heartache) Bonnie Taylor
"It's a Heartache" (Gavin Edwards)
You need Kool-Aid, baby I'm not foolin'
(You need coolin', baby I'm not foolin') Led
Zeppelin "Whole Lotta Love" (Gavin Edwards)
Clown Control to Mao Tse-Tung (Ground control to
Major Tom) David Bowie "Space Oddity"
(Gavin Edwards)
I want to rock 'n roll all night, and part of
every day (I want to rock 'n roll all night, and
party every day) Kiss "Rock and Roll All Nite"
(Gavin Edwards)
CHIASMS
A long life is not good enough, but a good life
is long enough. (Esther Jungreis)
As I feasted at our company end-of-year dinner, I
reflected on my underpowered computer, noting
that for dinner I was having rack of lamb, but at
work I had a lack of RAM. (Mark Wadsworth)
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
(Archives)
QUOTES & BLOOPERS
"A nickel ain't worth a dime any more."
(Yogi Berra)
"Predictions are difficult, especially about the
future." (Yogi Berra)
"I really didn't say everything I said."
(Yogi Berra)
"It's like deja vu all over again." (Yogi Berra)
"Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise
they won't go to yours." (Yogi Berra)
He lives under a consumed name. (Syman Hirsch)
The residents were evaporated from the flood
area. (Syman Hirsch)
A major problem in America is jubuilat
delinquency. (Syman Hirsch)
Housework is so monogamous. (Syman Hirsch)
I've got to get the shock observers fixed.
(Syman Hirsch)
Our mayor is a very extinguished man.
(Syman Hirsch)
The accused man was arranged in court.
(Syman Hirsch)
Quote from coroner's office re efforts to
identify the person whose leg washed ashore in
Boluga Bay: "We were stumped, basically"
(Nan Bell & Elizabeth Lindsay/Dave Barry)
New Orleans Times-Piocayune article re a breakout
at an animal research facility: "Tulane Center
monkeys escape. Half are captured in time
for dinner." (Roy Winter/Dave Barry)
Tip for Visitors : Avoid the traffic by using one
of the park's shuttle buses and view the elk rut
with a park ranger (Dave Barry)
-<>-
>Red, White and Blue
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and
blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red
when we talk about them, white when we get our
tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA
only we see stars too!"
-<>-
___
,-""___""-.
.;""'| |`"":.
|| | | | | ||
||_|_|_|_|_||
// /|
/__ //|
,-""___""-. //||
.;""'| |`"":. //
||/| | | | || //
||_|_|_|_|_||//
||_________||/
|| ||
'' ctr ''
>FROM DUST
A little boy came home from Sunday School and
went into his room to change clothes.
When he emerged, he asked his mother, "Is it true
that we came from dust?" His mother replied,
"Yes, dear. God made us from dust."
The kid ran back into his room and came out all
excited. "Mom, I just looked under my bed, and
there's somebody either coming or going!"
-<>-
>The dentist
A Scotsman goes to the dentist and asks how much
it is for a tooth extraction.
"£85 for an extraction sir" was the dentist's
reply.
"Och huv ye no got anyhin' cheaper" replies the
Scotsman getting agitated.
"But that's the normal charge for an extraction
sir" said the dentist.
"What aboot if ye dinnae use ony anesthetic?"
asked the Scotsman hopefully.
"Well it's highly unusual sir, but if that's what
you want, I suppose I can do it for £70" said the
dentist.
"Aye, an' whit aboot if ye just used wan o' your
dentist trainees and still wi'oot anesthetic"
said the Scotsman.
"Well it's possible but they are only training
and I can't guarantee their level of
professionalism and it'll be a lot more painful.
I suppose in that case we can bring the price
down to say £40" said the dentist.
"Och that's still a bit much, how aboot if ye mak
it a trainin' session and hae yer student dae the
extraction an' all they other students watchin'
andlearnin" said the Scotsman hopefully.
"Hmmmmm, well OK it'll be good for the students I
suppose, I'll charge you only £5 in that case"
said the dentist.
"Och now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal" said
the Scotsman "Can ye confirm an appointment for
ma wife next Tuesday?"
-<>-
"Things are more like they are now than they have
ever been."- President Gerald Ford
-<>-
___
,-'" "`-.
,'_ `.
/ / \ ,- \
__ | \_0 --- |
/ | | |
\ \ `--.______,-/ |
___) \ ,--"" ,/ |
/ _ \ \-_____,- /
\__-/ \ | `. ,'
\___/ < ´--------'
\__/\ | Wny
\__//
>Choc chip cookies
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's
agony, he suddenly smells the aroma of his
favourite chocolate chip cookies wafting up
the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted
himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he
slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with
even greater effort forced his way down the
stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
With laboured breath, he leaned against the
door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not
for deaths agony, he would have thought himself
already in heaven: there, spread out upon racks
on the kitchen table and counters were literally
hundreds of his favourite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it the one final act of
love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he
left this world a happy man?
Mustering one final great effort, he threw
himself towards the table, landing on his knees
in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted...
the wonderous taste of the cookie already in his
mouth.
The aged and withered hand, shakingly made its
way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it
was smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said. "They are for the
funeral."
-<>-
,
`.-- .,-"" .
._,' . _,. `.
, / .'.oo`.. `. `- .__.-'
:: .; "-()-"`. \.-. /
doida ; /'". ,"`'. "-- "-"
.': : `----' "-"
'
>Indiana Crazy Laws
One man may not back into a parking spot because
it prevents police officers from seeing the
license plate.
Baths may not be taken between the months of
October and March.
All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a
year on public roads.
Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a
tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and
81 inches wide.
State government officials who engage in private
duels can be dismissed from their post.
Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead
to your arrest.
A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for
statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not
wearing her socks and shoes, and is under
the age of 17.
It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday.
Drinks on the house are illegal.
It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold
soft drinks.
A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters
the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits
a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2.1-21-13(b)
Smoking in the state legislature building is
banned, except when the legislature is in
session.
Liquor stores may not sell milk.
Check forgery can be punished with public
flogging up to 100 stripes.
Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold
liquor.
You can get out of paying for a dependent's
medical care by praying for him/her.
Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are
prohibited from wearing tail lights.
No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.
You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the
bar to a table. The waiter or waitress has to do
it.
"Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's
back" are illegal.
You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
It is against the law to pass a horse on the
street.
If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or
tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives
money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act
to Prevent Immoral Practices.
Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or
swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the
Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars
for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten
dollars per day.
A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on
anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for
the Prevention of Gaming.
The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415. (Repealed)
Auburn
It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard,
or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For
these offesnses, there is a fine of no more than
$5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a
period not to exceed 30 days.
Beech Grove
It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.
Elkhart
It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off
kid's ears.
Evansville
While driving on Main Street you may not have
your lights on.
Fort Wayne
You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast,
the record "It`s In the Book".
Gary
Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may
not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a
public streetcar.
South Bend
It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
Terre Haute
No one may spit on the sidewalk.
-<>-
,-----.
W/,-. ,-.\W
()>a a<()
(.--(_)--.)
,'/.-'\_/`-.\`.
,' / `-' \ `.
/ \ / \
/ `. ,' \
/ / `-._.-' \ \
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<,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \
`-)| |// _ \\| )/
|| |' | `|
|| | | |
|| ( )|( )
|| | | |
|| | | |
|| |_.--.|.--._|
|| /'""| |""`\
[] `===' `===' hjw
>Golf
A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a
check up. The doctor told her she needed more
cardiovascular activity and recommended that she
engage in sexual activity three times a week. A
bit embarrassed, she said to the doctor, "Please
tell my husband."
The doctor went out into the waiting room and
told the husband that his wife needed sex three
times a week.
The 78-year-old husband replied, "Which days?"
The doctor answered, "Monday, Tuesday, and Friday
would be ideal."
The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday,
but on Tuesdays and Friday I golf, so she'll
have to take the bus."
=============================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Designer Toilet Paper
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/designertp.html
Chinese Olympic Cuisine
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/olympic.html
Fun With Snow In Russia!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/russia.html
Humor In Religion 3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion3.html
Giant Panda Bear
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pandabear.html
Newborn Moose
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moose.html
Humor In Politics 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics5.html
Look Who's Talking 4
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking4.html
Microscopic!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/micro.html
Ten Life Tips
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetips.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Jo Ann :)
She sent us one we have here...
Nouses For Hermits
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/house.html
---
...TeeHee! a fun reminder! Thanks Jo Ann!
Hilarious! Watch the little boy beside Ernie Ford
Children Go Where I Send Thee by Tennessee Ernie Ford
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwqWcn2gbTM
---
...LOL! Cute! Thanks Jo Ann!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
Are we really that old?
She sent us one we have here...
Celebrities Then And Now
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrities.html
---
...A Good funny one! Thanks for the reminder Linda!
Apprentice Pilots:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_XWNKSTJLg
http://www.youtu.be/watch?v=p8878GQX8iU
---
...Wowsers! Thanks Linda!
Hand Shadow - Raymond Crowe at Royal Variety Show
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAQxNVQF_I0
---
...Funny! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Wesley:
ripped : jKiwi
http://jkiwi.com/
ripped : tomb of the eagles , Orkney
http://goo.gl/06UvD
---
...Interesting ones! Thanks Wesley:
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Southbreeze w/Ready and Willing
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/ReadyAndWilling.htm
Dee w/A Little Gasoline
http://www.dedemstoday.com/ALittleGasoline.html
Mark w/Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions
http://soloshideaway.home.att.net/572/big_mud_puddles.htm
Sandy w/Always A Friend
http://www.sandysworldonline.com/always_a_friend.html
Doggie Zone
http://www.dogsforthedeaf.org/
Interesting animals
http://www.didyouknow.cd/animals/animals.htm
Kitty Korner
http://www.squirtsplace.com/SFS2005/freecats.jpg
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
==============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"British scientists are now seeking permission to fuse human
cells with rabbit eggs. Their goal is to create a human with
a lucky foot." --Jay Leno
"General Motors is producing a driver-less car. Here's my
fear: I'll buy one of those driver-less cars, and I'll be
home on a Saturday night, and the car will out driving with-
out me!" -David Letterman
"This week in Texas, a fire broke out in a warehouse
destroying 2,000 pounds of marijuana. Officials say more than
60 firefighters and 2,000 college students responded to the
blaze." -Conan O'Brien
"Electricity can be dangerous. I once watched my nephew try
to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't
go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he
was grounded." -Tim Allen
"The typical Internet user receives an average of 17,000
email messages per year. Of this total, an average of one
message actually contains useful information (it says:
'Disregard previous email'). The rest are porno ads, in-
vestment opportunities for morons (Make Big Money Petting
Kittens At Home!), and jokes that were originally set in
movable type by Johann Gutenberg." --Dave Barry
"If you were a member of Jesse James's band and people asked
you what you were, you wouldn't say, 'Well, I'm a desperado.'
You'd say something like, 'I work in banks,' or 'I've done
some railroad work.' It took me a long time just to say,
'I'm a writer.' It's really embarrassing." --Roy Blount, Jr.
"Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't
there the first time you need him, chances are you won't
be needing him again."
"Don't worry about tomorrow. After all, today is the tomor-
row you worried about yesterday."
"Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible,
and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
-Francis of Assisi
"There are now more obese people in the United States than
there are overweight people. I think it's safe to say that
after all these years, Diet Coke is a complete failure."
-Jay Leno
"A recent study found that the U.S. has a higher obesity rate
than Canada. Then again, maybe we just look fatter because
our flag has horizontal stripes." -Jimmy Fallon
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chrristian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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