Murphy's Dictums, Theybies And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This flaming hot new page is from our friend LouiseAu. You'll find these little bits of historic information most interesting. They may even shock you as to why you never heard of them before! Check this out and be surprised at how many little known facts you didn't know... |..| ? ? c >| ? \'/ /><\ unknown Amazing Trivia Facts 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts5.html --- ...Wowsers! The king, lions and Russia were the most fascinating ones here to me! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: _.--. .-"`_.--.\ .-.___________ ."_-"` \\ ( 0;------/\"'` ,."=___ =)) \ \ / \ `~` .=`~'~) ( _/ / / \ =`---====""~`\ _/ / \ `-------"` / \ jgs / \ ( ) '._ _.' '----' A husband and wife were expecting their first child. They were at their first exam with an old crusty Doc. Nice guy, but seen it all, heard it all a million times. The husband was stuttering around searching for the right words to ask when they "should stop....you know.....relations?" The Doc's answer: "Sonny, as long as you don't get in my way in the delivery room, I don't care!" -<>- >Things Your Mother Would Never Say – Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. – Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day. – That outfit isn't revealing enough, here, unbutton your blouse. – Why don't you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper. – The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here. – Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad. – Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs? – Naw, you don't have to call me, I'll eventually figure it out if you're in trouble. -<>- Seem to be or not seem to be.... \ ,,,,,, /e ''( (_ ` \ ___> \ / ,_\-.___ \_ / _)/ / \ | \ / ` _ | __\____/ / ' | / _ /______/ / _/ \,_____/o ( \__)/` \ / \__________/_/_ _/ \ \ )/ \ / / | /\ ( \_____/ ___/ \ \ _/ \ ______/_/___|_| ) \ / / o\ o\ / / /\ b'ger,,,'-----^--',,,,,,',,|_,,\_ ,,\/,, >Murphy's Dictums 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs lasts, thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 5. The 50-50-90 Rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 7. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 8. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 10. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 11. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 12. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 17 is National Maple Syrup Day December 18 is Bake Cookies Day and National Roast Suckling Pig Day December 19 is Look for an Evergreen Day and Oatmeal Muffin Day December 20 is Go Caroling Day December 21 is Crossword Puzzle Day, Forefather's Day, Humbug Day, Look on the Bright Side Day, National Flashlight Day and Winter Solstice - the shortest day of the year, date varies December 22 is National Date Nut Bread Day December 23 is Festivus and Roots Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: . ._O_. . /_\o/_\ . /H\ . (=O=). U. unknown >Motorcycle Insurance A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?" "I've got a kickstand," he replied. "Is that the same thing?" -<>- >The Goodnight Kiss At the end of their date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. He decides to try for that first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?" Embarrassed, she replies, "Oh, I couldn't do that. My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" "No, please. I would just die of embarrassment if someone saw us." "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I like you so much!!" "No. I like you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" "NO, no. I just can't." "Pleeeeease?..." Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!" -<>- >Magnolia About a month or so ago, after much deliberation, I bought a magnolia tree from our local nursery. After only a few weeks I noticed that the leaves had started to shrivel and the tree appeared to be on its last legs in spite of my tender care. So I took some leaf samples and marched back to the nursery to demand an explanation or get my money back. "I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager. "Good!" I exclaimed. "What's it suffering from?" You can imagine how stupid I felt when he simply said, "Winter." -<>- >Get Better Soon A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too." -<>- >VIP Cell Phones The place where I work decided to provide company-paid cell phones to the "suits" upstairs. After negotiating a deal with a cell phone company, we arranged for the phones to be sent to the homes of the various VIP's. The day after delivery, I received a call from a partner screaming about how his cell phone didn't work. He said he charged it overnight just like the sheet said, but in the morning, it wouldn't power up. I asked EXACTLY what he did with the phone when he got it. "I took it out, plugged the charger into the wall and into the phone." "Did you put the battery in the phone?" "Not the extra one." "Sir, the phone only came with one battery." (Pause) "Oh, I think I figured out what's wrong with it." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) _ _ / \ / \ { } { } { { } } \ \ / / \ Y / .-"`"`"-. ,` `. / \ / \ { ;"";, } { /";`'`,; } \{ ;`,'`;. / { }`""` } /} { } { // cyd {||} { / `"' `"' >SMILES Sunday school teacher Ms. Brown had a class of five-year-olds. She began the lesson by saying, "Today we are going to study about Peter. Can anybody tell me who Peter was?" A little lad in the back of the group raised his hand. "Oh, how nice," Ms. Brown said. "Billy knows. Billy, please come up front and tell the class who Peter was." Billy quickly came to the front and said with great pride in his voice, "I fink he was a wabbit." ---------- You do know what would have happened if it had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise men, don't you? They would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and brought practical gifts like diapers! ---------- Six housewives living in the same apartment building fell into a dispute of such magnitude that it resulted in their being hauled into court. When the case was called, they all made a concerted rush for the bench; and reaching it, all broke into bitter complaints at the same moment. The judge sat momentarily stunned as charges and counter-charges filled the air. Suddenly he rapped for order. When quiet had been restored, the patient magistrate said gently, "Now, I'll hear the oldest first." That closed the case. ---------- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the light bulb into the water faucet. ---------- Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband. When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!" he said with appreciation. "It's my old Plymouth!" ------- Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night watchman position (GS-4) and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning position and hired two people: one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11). Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Q.C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports. Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a timekeeper (GS-09) and a payroll officer (GS-11) and hired two people. Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative position and hired three people: an Admin. Officer (GM-13), an Assistant Admin. Officer (GS-13) and a Legal Secretary (GS-08). Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost," so they laid off the night watchman. ------- A young teen had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father, a pastor, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him into his study and said to the teen, "I'll make a deal with you, son. You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible more, get your hair cut, and we'll talk about the car." Well, the teen thought about it for a moment and decided he would settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about 6 weeks, the boy came back and again asked his father about using the car. Again, they went to the study, where his father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You brought your grades up, and I've observed that you've been studying your Bible more, and participating a lot more in the Bible study class on Sunday morning. But, I'm real disappointed, since you haven't gotten your hair cut." The young man paused a moment, and then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "You're right son. Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?" ------- Two airheads at a gas station: Airhead #1: "These prices are awful. They just keep going higher!" Airhead #2: "It doesn't affect me at all; I always put in just $20 worth." ---------- These two ol' boys from Beaumont bought a new mule, but had trouble getting him in their barn. Every time they would get him to the door, his ears would brush the top of the doorway and he'd start kicking and go wild. Finally, they decide the best way to solve the problem is to jack up the barn. So, they go out and get a half dozen jacks. The two Texans are scrambling from jack to jack to try to get the barn raised when this Cajun walks up. "Wot chall doin?" Boudreaux asks. "We's raisin thuh barn, yuh stoopid Cajun," Billy Bob says. "Why you do dat?" "Cause thuh mule's ears keep touchin' thuh doorway when we try to put him in iss-here barn and he goes haf-crazy wild," Billy Bob says. "He kicked Ernest Wayne plumb in thuh haid twicet already." "Why come you don' just dig de hole in de doorway? Dat way him got to go down when he get to de do' an him ear don't touch nutin." "Ya stoopid Cajun," Ernest Wayne chimes in. "It's his ears at's too long, not his laigs!" ---------- What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? ''Would you like fries with that? ---------- Since I was the first to arrive at our high-tech company one morning, I answered the telephone. When the caller asked for field engineering, I explained that it was before normal business hours, but that I would help if I could. 'What's your job there?' the caller asked me. 'I'm the president,' I replied. There was a pause. Then he said, 'I'll call back later. I need to talk to someone who knows something.' ---------- At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk that a Pony Express rider could get a letter from Milwaukee to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes three. 'I'd like to know why,' she scoffed. The clerk thought a moment and then suggested, 'The horses are a lot older now?' ---------- Doctor: 'Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water.' Mark: 'Exactly what's my problem, doc?' Doctor: 'You're not drinking enough water.' --- ...Oh Gee! TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- -.--. ) " '-, ',' 2 \_ \q \ . \ _.--' '----.__ / ._ _.__ \__ _.'_.' \_ .-._\_ '-, } (,/ _.---;-( . \ \ ~ ____ ( .___\_\ \/_/ ( '-._ \ \ | '._ ),> _) > '-._ c=' Cooo -._ '-._ '. '-._ `\ snd '-._ '. '-._ \ `~---' >You know you're in California when... 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English. 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze. 5. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. 8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula. 9. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears. 11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast. 12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S. 13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice. 14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney. 15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. 16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag. 17. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH 2003." 19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class. 20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! California has some pretty weird notions - like making straws illegal but this one, I am surprised wasn't started in California.. ((( ,, ( *)======/\==== )( / \ __________/ ) / \ \___EJM96 / / "" \ \____ _/ / (**) \ / \__/ (----------) /____|__//_ ( it's ) | ( a ) | (what?!) | (____) _|__ \\ 'Boy or girl?' Parents raising 'theybies' let kids decide https://tinyurl.com/y7mryxuk Actually, your baby has already decided what gender they will be at conception by his or her genes. Throughout pregnancy, exposure to hormones decided by your baby’s genes affect a baby’s anatomy, physiology and even behavior. https://tinyurl.com/ycgxqp4x So parents who think they will let a child decide what gender they want to be instead of what their genes have already determined is about as stupid as saying 'I'll let my child decide what is right and what is wrong and by the time they are 4 years old, they will make up their own mind as to how to be moral.' Children need a moral compass or they will try to get away with everything! We all know that a child needs a guiding hand to fit into society correctly or society will rip them a new one so fast they'll be a mental wreck and a misfit all their life! By the way, for these parents who think this is best for their child, they would do well to consult the divine creator who originally formed, made, and created us. God tells us NOT to let our children go their own way and do whatever they feel like doing, but instead... Prov.22 [6] Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Pretty simple advice huh? However, it might be just too much work for these new parents wanting their 'theybies' to do all the work and train up themselves! With parenting like this, we're going to have a lot of adult mental cases on our hands! I don't know about you, but I'll trust God. I think He knows Best! -<>- . \ : / ' _ ' -= ( (_) ) =- . . / : \ .-. ' |.| /)|`|(\ (.(|'|)`) ~~~~`\`'./'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ jgs |.| ~~ |`| ~~ ,|'|. (_) ~~ "'" \"\ ~~ ^~^ >Speaking of Bad Parenting - how about the one in the news recently? This supposed dad of a 7 year old girl takes her on a journey that thousands of Central American migrants are making through about 1,125 miles by foot to the US border of Texas. He doesn't accept the generous asylum offerings from Mexico of food, shelter and a job but continues on and tries to cross illegally through a non-port of entry with his little girl. 'What we know is that the girl and her father crossed over as part of a group of 163 people in the deserts of New Mexico, south of Lordsburg, and they were apprehended by the Border Patrol. They turned themselves in to Border Patrol agents and were taken to the Border Patrol station in Lordsburg. More than eight hours later, the girl began having seizures. And emergency responders determined that she had a temperature of 105.7 and had not eaten or had any water in several days. She was evacuated by helicopter to El Paso, the El Paso Hospital, where she died 24 hours later.' https://tinyurl.com/yc2v2cas The fact that she died while in border custody has everyone up in arms, but sadly, had border patrol not caught them, she would not have lived long either. The desert is not a friendly place for people and it is especially hostile for young children. It is sad, but the responsibility should be on her father who did nothing to alert the border agents to her requiring urgent care. This not being a port of entry, there were few agents to handle so large a group. They were simply overwhelmed. https://tinyurl.com/yc2v2cas The Mexico–United States border is nearly 2,000 miles long. It is impossible to have every foot of it heavily patrolled with agents to handle large numbers of illegal entries. That's why we need a wall with proper drone and equipment surveillance. Of course, we are not even sure if the man with her was actually her father. Many human traffickers and smugglers try to come through our southern border. Children are at high risk of them. Yet another reason to have a secure border with a wall! It is heart-wrenching to hear of all the perils migrants face trying to come here! Most Dangerous Journey: What Central American Migrants Face When They Try to Cross the Border https://tinyurl.com/y9zj2hl5 I don't believe in amnesty for all. People talk about how we should have a heart and help these poor people who are fleeing for their lives but if that were the case, they would accept the generous asylum offering from Mexico instead of continuing on to the US border. No matter how much we care, the US just can't take on and support all of the world's poor people seeking a better life. It is just impractical. 'Nearly 1/2 of the world's population — more than 3 billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day. More than 1.3 billion live in extreme poverty — less than $1.25 a day. 1 billion children worldwide are living in poverty. According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty. https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-global-poverty We need to discourage them from putting themselves at such high risk and trying to come here! That's why Trump wants to have total border security! Border Security Is National Security: President Donald J. Trump and Vice President Mike Pence met with Democratic leaders Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) in the Oval Office. Their dialogue was constructive. The President and the Democrat leaders agreed to support the passage of historic criminal justice reform, and they discussed significant progress with the Farm Bill, which passed in the Senate today. Major disagreement remains, however, on the crucial issue of border security and transparency. “The wall will get built,” President Trump said. “A lot of the wall is built. It’s been very effective.” The numbers back him up. It’s time for Congress to step up and finish the job. The Democrats’ priority is clear, however: They would rather keep the U.S. border open to illegal immigrants than keep the Government open to serve American citizens. Open borders are dangerous. The Department of Homeland Security reports that it stops an average of 10 known or suspected terrorists each day from entering the United States. And despite claiming to support border security, Democrats in practice have blocked all efforts to secure our southern border and protect our communities. In 2006, when their base was different, Democrats were singing another tune. Back then, party leaders such as Senators Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, and Schumer himself all voted for the Secure Fences Act. Democrats openly admitted that stronger border security was essential for a safer America. Democrats did the right thing then. So why won’t they now? Watch: President Trump hosts Democrat leaders in the Oval Office. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A90yR-Nkwn8 Transcript: The President’s conversation with Sen. Schumer and Rep. Pelosi https://tinyurl.com/ycomy7dz Stat of the day: Walls work Democrats claim America doesn’t need a wall to protect its southern border. Common sense says otherwise—and so do the numbers. Building walls at key sections of the border caused illegal traffic to drop by 90 percent or more in the years that followed: San Diego, CA (built in 1992): Illegal traffic dropped 92 percent over 23 years El Paso, TX (built in 1993): Illegal traffic dropped 95 percent in 22 years Tucson, AZ (built in 2000): Illegal traffic dropped 90 percent over 15 years Yuma, AZ (built in 2005): Illegal traffic dropped 95 percent over 9 years Get the facts: Democrat-backed policies have created a border crisis. https://tinyurl.com/yaf5d4d5 We should focus our sympathy and tax dollars on helping our own poor and homeless citizens. There are more than 550,000 homeless people in the US today. Like our President says - America First! ========================================================== >-->From HandyHints: ,==. \\// .-~~-. ,",-""-.". | | | | | | .-"| |. ". `,",-" ,'.". `| |_,-' | | | | | | hjw ". `-._,-' ." `-.___,-' A ring stuck on your finger can simply be the result of wearing a ring that's too small. It can also be caused from arthritis of joints, which can happen as your body changes over the years. This can cause the joints and/or tissue to swell, which prevents you from removing your ring. When you can't simply slide your ring off, try this trick featured in this youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJHUAwEx1bY -<>- Take a beach towel with you on the airplane This tip is incredibly handy for ALL flights. A beach towel can double as a pillow or blanket on the plane. And if you find yourself in need of a towel for any reason, guess what, you have one. -<>- Getting ready for a big night out you're out of hair spray? Try dissolving 1 tablespoon of sugar in a glass of hot water, wait until it cools, and then put it into a spray bottle. It's effective and environmentally friendly, too! -<>- ,-. Life keeps rolling along...... ( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - |`-'| : : : : : : : : | | : : : : : : : : `-'` ~ - . _'. - ~ ` ~ - .'_ . - ~ ` ~ - cww Toilet Paper Roll Wrapping Paper Sleeve This hint will save you from wasting wrapping paper each time you bring it out of storage. Rather than sticking a piece of tape along the loose edge, cut an empty toilet paper tube lengthwise and wrap it around a roll of wrapping paper. Cinch it up and secure the sleeve with a piece of tape. Next time you use the wrapping, you may rip the sleeve when removing it, but your wrapping paper will remain intact. -<>- Rain-X in Snowthrower Chute Keep your snowthrower at peak performance by spraying Rain-X inside the chute as part of your tune-up routine. The Rain-X helps to prevent snow and ice from clogging up the chute, so you can move more snow faster. ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Justice With Judge Jeanine 12/15/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLCM78OgEO8 Obama GOING TO FEDERAL PRISON After THIS! The VIDEO Obama Wants To HIDE & Hannity WANTS ALL To SEE!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTu1DA2msAM BREAKING: Mueller Just Caught Covering It All Up – CASE OVER! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTecH-5Mr_0 MUST WATCH: Jim Jordan GOES OFF During Clinton Foundation Hearing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT9cbjAB1EQ Gowdy blasts Comey: An 'amnesiac with incredible hubris' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt0xprEaJfU Dershowitz: Cohen Doesn't Understand The Difference Between Wrong And Illegal - "A president is entitled to make campaign contributions to his own campaign." https://tinyurl.com/y8zslocz Renowned Lawyer Exposes Cohen’s Mistake https://1600daily.com/2018/12/14/renowned-lawyer-exposes-cohens/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Today's Best Conservative Humor! https://theusawire.com/2018/03/8092-todays-best-conservative-humor/ Health Alert: CDC Reveals Deadliest Drug in the US https://tinyurl.com/ybbudr7u Product Alert: Beef, Soup, Salads http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text -<>- >From BizarreNews: It wouldn't be the holiday season without at least one good road rage story. This one comes from the town of Draper, just outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. Now, road rage stories are a dime-a-dozen, this is America after all, so you know it has to be something a little unusual to make it into Bizarre News. The question is; what do most people use in a road rage incident? Usually whatever they have in their vehicle; a golf club, baseball bat, their fists, sometimes a gun. Why this man was carrying this item around in his car we can only guess. In a fit of road rage, a drunken man chased a car while brandishing a sword and snow shovel before spitting at police when they took him into custody, according to jail records. Early Saturday morning, 30-year-old Kyle Madison Wall became embroiled in "a road rage incident" in Draper. He then followed the other car to the driver's workplace and confronted the person inside the car, attempting to punch them through the window. He yelled, 'You are lucky because I could kill you right now!,' then began running back to his car while the driver of the other vehicle followed him and called police. When Wall realized the other car was following him, he took a large sword out of his vehicle and began running toward the driver in the other car. The driver put their car in reverse, and the man threw the sword at the vehicle as it drove backward. He then grabbed a snow shovel outside a nearby business and began walking to the driver's car with it. Police arrived before the man could cause any damage with the shovel, however when they attempted to take him into custody, he resisted and "spit at officers and threaten to kill the officers and their families," according to the jail report. Wall was booked into the Salt Lake County Jail on suspicion of assault, aggravated assault, a DUI, assault or threat of violence to a peace officer, interference with an arresting officer and failure to stop at the command of law enforcement. His sword was recovered from the scene. -<>- Everyone gets frustrated by the 'silly season' or the holidays, as it is still euphemistically called. Who hasn't been driven to distraction by incessant Christmas music, the forced cheerfulness of retail workers, saccharine advertisements, and gaudy, often over-the-top decorations? Sometimes it's enough to make a person want to lock them- selves in the house. Or, in the case of one South Carolina man, to take a more proactive approach to dealing with the frivolity and excess of the season. A more proactive approach AND a lighter. A Summerville man is charged with arson after police said he burned down the Christmas decorations in a suburban Charleston neighborhood. Authorities arrested Cameron Lewis Baun, 29, after receiving a call afternoon about a person setting fire to the property of multiple neighbors. Police said Baun lit up a snowman decoration that was in the front yard of one home. Baun was detained for burning Christmas decor at another home when officers arrived, police said. Summerville Fire Rescue was also attempting to put out a house fire that Baun allegedly set, according Summerville police. Baun is said to have busted a garage window trying to light fire to the inside of another structure. *--- Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire ---* A young man wanted to make a point about racism in the United States, but his plan backfired when he was exposed for a liar by police. 20-year-old Khalil Cavil of Texas was working at the Saltgrass Steak House in Odessa when he claimed he was discriminated against because of his Muslim name. Cavil took to Facebook, where he posted a customer's receipt the stated "we don't tip terrorist" with a circle around the name Khalil. The post quickly went viral with people taking his side, including the restaurant which supported him by banning the alleged racist from their restaurant. Police were called to investigate the hate crime, but soon discovered that the whole incident was a lie and that Cavil wrote the message himself. Saltgrass Steak House publicly apologized and invited the customer to return to the restaurant for a free meal while Cavil no longer works at the restaurant. After his hoax was exposed, Cavil also apologized and said: "I'm sorry. I deeply made a huge big mistake. I'm in the process of getting the help that I need." *--- It's Hard to Pass Up a Good Deal ---* A man identified as an elected constable faces a citation and potential fine of up to $600 for allegedly trying to buy guns from people on the street as they were entering the Wilkinsburg Police Department for its annual gun buy- back program. Wilkinsburg police say Michael Cornell of Harmony Township is being sent the citation by mail for allegedly violating Wilkinsburg's peddling ordinance. Police say they will notify and consult with the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives to determine whether any other charges should be pursued. Police Chief Ophelia "Cookie" Coleman wasn't happy to learn a man had been approaching people outside the police department for guns. "That was very disturbing, and it was disturbing to the people that were in line as well because they were complaining about this person walking up to them, soliciting to purchase guns," Coleman said. *--- Heart of Gold ---* Almost everybody puts a little change in those Salvation Army bell ringers' pots you see every Christmas, but the coin one anonymous donor left in a pot in Orlando, FL will buy a lot more than a cup of coffee. It was a 1904 $20 coin with one ounce of pure gold. It's worth a whole lot more than $20 now. "We were elated," said Captain Ken Chapman. "We took it to a gold shop, actually three of them, to see how they would compare and they all said about $1,200." Volunteers knew there was something special when they saw the coin, but it was when they felt it that they really knew. That's because the person who first saw it was a coin collector. "They said 'I'll buy it for more than it's worth.' Hallelujah! Here you go!" *--- There's No Place Like Home ---* A dog that had been missing since its California owner was forced to evacuate from the path of the Camp Fire was found weeks later sitting guard at the home. Andrea Gaylord said her two dogs, Miguel and Madison, spend most of their time outside, and she was unable to locate them before being forced to evacuate her Paradise home. Miguel was later found by animal rescue volunteer Shayla Sullivan, but no trace could be found of Madison. Sullivan regularly left food and water outside Gaylord's home in case Madison came home, but there were no sightings of the canine until the evcuation order was lifted. Gaylord arrived at her house and immediately was greeted by Madison. "Imagine the loyalty of hanging in in the worst of circumstances and being here waiting," Gaylord told local news. "It was so emotional." ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: _ _ _|_|___________________|_|_ |__:_____________________:__| |___________________________| |__:_____________________:__| |___________________________| |_|___________________|_| /__.___________________.__\ /__._____________________.__\ /_____________________________\ | |_| |_| | | | | | | | | | |_| |_|lc >How Is Your Wife? There were two old men sitting on a park bench talking. One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?" Second old man replied, "I think she may be Dead!" First old man, "What do you mean you THINK she may be dead?" Second old man, "Well... the love is the same but the dishes are starting to pile up." -<>- >Just Puzzling Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days! 61 days!" The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?" One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-to-6 years!" -<>- >Q and A Quickies Q: What has eight legs and goes up and down? | m1a | | / | \ \ | / . --\|/-- , '--|___|--' ,--|___|--, ' /\o o/\ ` + + + ` ' A: A spider in an elevator! Q: Why did the Sheriff use a ruler when he questioned the witness? A: He wanted to get the story straight. .|, -*- '/'\` /`'o\ /#,o'`\ o/`"#,`\o /`o``"#,\ o/#,`'o'`\o /o`"#,`',o\ o`-._`"#_.-'o _|"|_ \=%=/ hjw """ Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? A: They always drop their needles! Q: What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas Advent Calendar? A: He got 25 days! Q: What is a librarians favorite Christmas song? A: Silent Night. Q: What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? A: Snow. Q: Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners? _______ ,--,,--' '-------,_ ( --- ', .' '- ,__ ,_) ( " _ __) '--`"----.~.-`--` `---` / / \ \ \ |/ | / / \ \ \ \ \ \ \I \/ / / \ \ \ \ \_/ // \ \ \ ,_@@ ,> // \ \ \ \ \ \ \ (___ \__ // \ ./\ \____ // \ \ \ \ /| ---"-' // \ \ // \ )\ / - \ /| \ _ \- ' -__ ~ // \ | \ // \\ // \\ snd '-' '-' A: Rude-alph! Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A: Holly Davidson. Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? A: Because it was in need of a trim. _________ . . (.. \_ , |\ /| \ 0 \ /| \ \/ / \______ \/ | \ / vvvv\ \ | / | \^^^^ == \_/ | `\_ === \. | / /\_ \ / | |/ \_ \| / \________/snd Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? A: Santa Jaws! Q: Where do snowmen keep money? A: In a snow bank. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _ /_\ .'-'. .' '. '_________' ( ) |.---------.| |: Blinker :| |: Fluid :| |'---------'| (___________)LGB One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way I can't forget the date." A few hours later, I recognized the same young man waiting in my line again. When his turn came, he said somewhat sheepishly, "I need to change the numbers on that plate application." -<>- One day on his way to work, my husband stopped at the cafeteria as it began to rain. Forgetting that he hadn't brought an umbrella, he reached for the nearest one when he got up to leave. "That's my umbrella," a woman immediately scolded. Abashed at his mistake, he apologized and walked on to his office. He was drenched by the time he arrived. Once there, he discovered three umbrellas that he had left in the office over the months, and he decided to bring them home at the end of the day. That afternoon he ran into the same woman who had confronted him earlier. She looked at the umbrellas, then at him, and tartly remarked: "Did real well for yourself today, didn't you?" -<>- I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's jeans at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head. "I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year." -<>- Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment. One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital. After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?" "No," the woman nervously replied. "What?" -<>- While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help. "The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'" "Monogamy," he answered. -<>- A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?" One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "Still in the Garden of Eden?" ========================================================= >-->From TheJokester: _ ' ` ,`-' __ ( ,-" "---, _ ,' `--"| ,' ,-" ' )--' / | / //",-",-._,'."-- . _ `/ .--="_.' / `. ; /`""" `-' ` \( , ` ``-\ ' ," ( ,' ,' `.._ __,-"\-, ' `-.-._,._,'__... `,-. ,' . __ \ ,-. \-: \ , __ _/-" \,--""\ \_\ \_\_/ , ,-" / ' _.--\_..." \ , { _,-" -" | ` ` `-" __..`-. \ \ ,-" __..-"" . `-._ "" __,--" __...' \ _,--" __..--"" / : _..-"" __.,-'" _.-' ,-"" _.,-"" ,' ; _.-"" ,' | _.-" ," `'..._ / ` _ / `.___...-; `"-./ | ' | ' | ' | I__ ,= .-._| |_|`.__.' KaK `--" >Rules for Santa's Workshop, Inc. It has come to my attention that some of the staff is taking their responsibilities less than seriously. As you know, our business has the responsibility of providing presents for all the children in the world. Therefore, it is imperative that all staff maintains a professional demeanor and sustains production levels, especially during our seasonal rush. 1. The uniform for all elves is officially green. No more T-shirts with slogans such as, “Bah! Humbug!” should be worn. It is important that we maintain a professional appearance in the workshop. Pointed- toe shoes are also a part of the uniform whether you consider them nerdy or not. 2. It has been rumored that some elves are not paying attention to personal hygiene. Please be considerate of your fellow employees and do not come into the workshop after shoveling out the reindeer barn. Mrs. Claus nearly passed out the other day. Suggested soap scents are bayberry, peppermint, cinnamon and pine. 3. Work breaks are a privilege, not a right. You will return from breaks promptly at the scheduled time. Hanging around the water cooler and ogling the new Princess Barbie dolls is unacceptable. 4. Overtime is available on an "as needed" basis. When you are on overtime, you should be busy working. Excessive testing of the PS4's other electronic toys during work hours will not be tolerated. 5. The LEGO Creator robot is the one of our hottest new items. Please do not abuse these robots by having them fetch you cookies and milk from the kitchen or make them take your place in the assembly line. 6. All toys are manufactured to break shortly after the manufacturer’s warranty expires. It's called job security. Please do not play with them before delivery or they will break too soon and have to be replaced for free. 7. Please be sure batteries are removed from toys before shipping. A dead battery in toys on Christmas morning is one of our biggest complaints. I might add that removing the battery from Rudolph's nose last year was not funny, and if I find out who did it, you will be transferred to the Trump's board room. 8. Absences will be excused for valid reasons only. Staying off work to watch movies or videos on your media player is not considered valid. Neither is snow boarding or tricycles racing. 9. Santa must do an extensive amount of travel at this time of the year visiting malls and making personal appearances in parades; therefore, please address any problems or concerns to Corporate Vice President, Mrs. Claus, during my absences. She will be able to reach me on my camera cell phone, a popular item held over from last Christmas. 10. All elves will report to the barn early on the morning of the 24th to assist in packing the sled. Please do not whine about not getting to ride along. Any stowaways will be dealt with harshly. Excessive weight will slow us down and we might be unable to make it around the world by sunrise. 11. Reindeer should rest, eat a light meal on Christmas Eve, and be ready to travel at sunset. You deer have had 364 days out to pasture. Surely it is not too much to ask you to avoid grazing off the Christmas buffet until after the gifts are delivered. 12. The Christmas party will proceed as usual on Christmas Day. There will be goodies and gifts for all that attend. There will also be a drawing for a snow mobile, a ski trip to Sun Valley, and other fabulous prizes. Thank you for your cooperation, and please remember to whistle while you work. After all, it 'tis the season to be jolly. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: `}-' `}-' ___ `}-' `}-' ____/`-, _____/`-, "-_/}__ `}-'_/`-, /`-,( _,,.{-,_(__,,,.( [(_.-'`--,__ ____/`-,.(,-`}-'_,>___\/`-, >|`---\ [(__\___\ _`-(--...(..-'_`./`-,/(--,,.( // / > |_______/-' >`---\ / ( `{ >`---\ pb __|___|__) / \ / \ /`--/< / \ /| / \/ \ >Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid 8. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!" 7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of black jelly beans 6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling. 5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing. 4. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a lump of coal in his bed. 3. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the 'Missing' list 2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Reject from China." 1. Four words: "Off my lap, Junior!" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Big Boy Toys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigboytoys.html High Tech Toys 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys3.html Real 3 Bears!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bears.html Dogs VS Elf 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsvself2.html Disney Wisdom!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneywisdom.html Cool Optical Illusions 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/optical3.html Comedy In Nature!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comedyinnature.html Maxine On Christmas 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinechristmas2.html Humorous Signs 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns3.html Recycling Ideas 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/recycling3.html Redneck Christmas Tree!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redneck.html Parenting No-No's 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting3.html Morons At Work 6!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork6.html Mexican Lion!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lion.html Shopping With Men!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menshopping.html Extreme Poodle Makeover!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poodlemakeover.html Christmas And New Years Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- Some of Shangrala's Best Pages http://www.amazafamily.com/index.html -<>- 10 Best Robot Toys (2018) – Turn Your Kid into A Gadget Geek https://tenbuyerguide.com/robot-toys/ 33 USEFUL KITCHEN TRICKS THAT WILL SAVE YOU HOURS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yw-meEXN__0 Meet The Screaming Armadilo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrVfuDx4ET8 Super funny Lion Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuHO2KcX6bI&t=38s Totally Absurd Inventions This site explores the funnier side of our inventive spirit by featuring actual USA patented products. You won't believe some of the products that have been patented! Some of the ingenious inventions include a car bib, a wearable dog house, and a toilet snorkel. I can't make these things up... you have to see for yourself! http://totallyabsurd.com/ These 24 Beloved Franchises DID NOT Catch On At First... From Cracked.com: There are movies, shows, songs, and even games that are widely considered beloved classics. Amazingly, some of those pop culture staples were absolutely despised when they debuted. And it wasn't just the grandpa types who hate anything new. These were otherwise normal audiences and industry types, who legitimately didn't recognize an absolute treasure that was right in front of their eyes. https://tinyurl.com/y7ngnbtk Idiot Box Artwork Take a look at some rare one-of-a-kind works of art that has a television theme. These pieces will make you yearn for more ALF artwork. It will. http://idiotbox88.blogspot.com/ White Christmas - Bing Crosby [Irving Berlin] "White Christmas" is an Irving Berlin song reminiscing about an old- fashioned Christmas setting. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the version sung by Bing Crosby is the best-selling single of all time, with estimated sales in excess of 50 million copies worldwide. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRirPkH0IFo Supreme Extreme Snowboarding Jump, Flip, and Spin while Bombing down a Diamond! The bigger the tricks, the higher your score, so get out there and Own that Mountain! http://www.addictinggames.com/supremeextremesnowboarding.html ...A little nostalgia...Comedy at it's best: Red Skelton https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDQi6txKzag Smothers Brothers on Late Night, August 28, 1992 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpuDYgibL_A Jonathan Winters and Dean Martin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hcgXXJk_nw -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) "Christmas Where You Are" is a beautiful Christmas song for all the men and women of the armed forces. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsvK1aGp8xo The Epic Christmas Split By Chuck Norris - video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-D1KVIuvjA&feature=youtu.be --- ...WOW! Awesome! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The biggest dog in the world lives in the U.K. and on its hind legs stands at 7 feet, 6 inches tall. When asked if he likes being taken for a walk, his owner said, 'I love it.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun." -Conan O'Brien "A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The results of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door." -Seth Meyers "In other weird Japanese news - or as they call it in Japan, news - there are now plans for a park in Japan that will be a combination of a hot springs spa and an amusement park. It either sounds nice or like a sanitary nightmare." -James Corden "Two Connecticut residents stole over $1,000 worth of candles from the Yankee Candle Village. The suspects are being described as white." -Conan O'Brien "Tonight was the lighting of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. Thousands of people waited for hours in the cold just to go, 'Cool. OK, back to the hotel, let's go back to the hotel.'" -Jimmy Fallon "I read about a woman from California who is driving by herself across the country to visit every single Costco in the U.S. So far, she's traveled 2,000 miles - and that was just walking through one Costco." -Jimmy Fallon "Pope Francis has warned the media to stop spreading false information. Or as the media reported it, 'World's Top Rabbi Says 'Keep Up the Good Work!'" -Conan O'Brien "Today in 1884, the Washington Monument was completed, and if George Washington were here today to see it he would probably say, 'That looks nothing like me.'" -Seth Meyers "Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat." --Socrates "Laughter is an instant vacation." --Milton Berle "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." --Pablo Picasso "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash." - George S. Patton "Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature." - Samuel Butler "Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high- class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four." - Katharine Hepburn "Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels." - Bob Thaves "Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day." - Lillian Carter, in her 80s >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************