Mutt's Day And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ .'\ /`. .'.-.`-'.-.`. ..._: .-. .-. :_... .' '-.(o ) (o ).-' `. : _ _ _`~(_)~`_ _ _ : : /: ' .-=_ _=-. ` ;\ : : :|-.._ ' ` _..-|: : : `:| |`:-:-.-:-:'| |:' : `. `.| | | | | | |.' .' `. `-:_| | |_:-' .' jgs `-._ ```` _.-' ``-------'' *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This red hot scorching new page is from our friends LouiseAu, Bunni and Geniann. It is a delightful collection of amazing photos sure to give you plenty of Ooos and awes. Check it out here... .-. [.-''-., | //`~\) (<| 0\0|>_ ";\ _"/ \\_ _, __\|'._/_ \ '='-, /\ \ || )_///_\>> ( '._ T |\ | _/),-' '. '._.-' /'/ | | '._ _.'`-.._/ snd ,\ / '-' |/ [_/\-----j _.--.__[_.--'_\__ / `--' '---._ / '---. -'. .' _.-- '. \_ '--.___ _;.-o / '.__ ___/______.__8----' Amazing Photos 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingphotos5.html --- ...Wow! What a great collection of photos! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: .======================================. | ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ | | \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| | | _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| | '===================================== ,sSSSs DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "( .:. SSS@ =/ \~/ C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_ ___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.- [____________________________________] \ /\// | ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/ | (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ; | | | | | | | | | | |____| | | | | | | | | | | \ |\ | | | | | | | | | | ) ) ) | |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/ | I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ | jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\ Y\_\ A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when a tall, handsome, prosperous-looking middle- aged man entered. He was so striking in appearance and bearing that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The man noticed her stare and walked directly to her. Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00... on one condition." Amazed and at a loss, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly said.... "Paint my house." -<>- Job Advertisement You are young and beautiful, have 2 university degrees, and are fluent in 3 languages. You have long blonde hair, long legs and a killer smile and you want to earn a salary no less than $100,000 per year. OK, That's nice! But we need a plumber. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 31 is Mutt's Day August 1 is National Girlfriends Day, National Mountain Climbing Day, and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day August 2 is National Ice Cream Sandwich Day August 3 is Grab Some Nuts Day and National Watermelon Day August 4 is International Beer Day, National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day and U.S. Coast Guard Day August 5 is Campfire Day, International Hangover Day, National Clown Day, National Mustard Day, National Underwear Day and Work Like a Dog Day August 6 is Friendship Day, Sisters Day and Wiggle Your Toes Day ========================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ,`/ /L',_ ,\',` \ ` ,V ||/ )\ ,( / \ /, ` \ /' '| / | / | ejm `-. -._ >Military Technology As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship email capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to email your father!" -<>- /(_ /_ (_ / O \ |_. | \ | | |\ / | \ | \ (-.\ fish walking _)\ \ ( )_/\ \_( \ / ) ( _ _ _ / _ \ /'\/'\'\ / _// / \(/\(/(/ \\_/_/ \_\/ ./<./Day's Catch A fisherman accidentally left his day's catch under the seat of a bus. The next evening, the newspaper carried an ad: "If the person who left a bucket of fish on the No. 47 bus would care to come to the garage, he can have the bus." -<>- >Beard My husband has always had a beard. One day, he decided to shave it off. He came into the room where our 5-year-old daughter was playing and asked her, "Notice anything different?" To which she replied, "No" with a puzzled look on her face. My husband then said to her, "My beard's gone." Now the puzzled look disappeared and the innocent eyes appeared when she said "I didn't take it!" -<>- >Bridge Under Water When I was visiting a friend who lived on the edge of a wilderness preserve, we drove along a rutted trail, and we saw a small creek ahead whose bridge was under water. "We have a serious beaver problem," our friend said. "They build dams that cause the creek to flood. Forest rangers take down the dams, and the beavers rebuild them." As we got closer, we could see a large scoreboard posted by the bridge. It read: BEAVERS 3 RANGERS 0 -<>- >Miracle? Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor. It lands butter-side-up. He looks at what he has done in astonishment, for he knows it's a law of nature that buttered toast always falls butter-down. He rushes to the local church to fetch the priest. He tells the priest that he thinks a miracle has happened at his place. He won't say what it is but wants Father Flannagan to see it with his own eyes. He brings the priest into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor. "It's pretty obvious what we have here. Someone dropped some buttered toast, and then for some reason flipped it over so that the butter was on top." "No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that." "Well! It's certainly a Law of the Universe that dropped toast never falls butter side up. But it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll report the matter to the bishop, and have him send people to interview you and take photos." A rigorous investigation is conducted, not only by priests of the archdiocese but also by scientists sent from the Archbishop. The final ruling is negative. It read: "It was certainly an extraordinary event that occurred in Murphy's room, quite outside the normal run of phenomena. Yet we have to be very cautious before ruling any happening miraculous, ruling out all possible natural explanations. In this case we have declared that no miracle occurred, for it possibly resulted from Murphy's having buttered the toast on the wrong side." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) >SMILES ,%/7\\` (/// .\\) (((( - ))) ((|)_*_/((( ))(/) (\((|) ((((\___/))(\ / ,-) (-. \ ( ( ( _ _ ) ) ) \ \ )^ ^ ^( / / ) y y ( \( )/ \_______/ \ / / y / ( ' \ \ \ y-._ hjw |\,' X-' _,T-) / (__,-%_/ Morris goes to an agency in the West End and asks if they have any jobs. "Sure," replies the interviewer, "I've got an ace job - working in a strip club, what you would have to do is help the girls undress and dress, oil them and all that sort of stuff." "Sounds good" says Morris. "Great, can you get to Whitechaple by 9.00 am tomorrow?" "Why, is that where the job is?" "No, that's where the line starts..." -------- A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?" The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy...and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?," she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..." "Like this?" "A little more..." "Like this?" "No. A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?" "A little bit." "Now stretch it over your head!" -------- Julie was standing in front of a soda machine saying, "You are a dumb-looking button. You don't have much of a future, either. People are going to be punching you all your life. Then you are going to be replaced by a much better-looking button." I foolishly asked what she was doing. Julie pointed to the notice on the front of the machine, which said, "Depress button for ice." --------- A farmer knocks on a neighboring farmhouse door. "I'm retiring, and I'm giving away all my livestock. Houses where the man is the boss get a horse. Where the woman is the boss, they get a chicken. Who's the boss here?" "I am," says the husband. "I have a black horse and a brown horse for you. Which one would you like?" After a moment's thought the man says, "The black one." "No, get the brown one," says the wife. "Here's your chicken." -------- Texas has so many inmates on its Death Row, they finally had to start executing them two at a time. On this day, a cowboy and a biker are brought to receive their sentence. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a Final Request. "Yew betcha, Warden," the cowboy replies. "I'd be mighty grateful if you'd play 'Achy Break Heart' fer me one last time." "Yes, we can do that for you," the Warden says, before turning to the biker. "Do you have a Final Request too?" "You better believe it," the biker says. "Kill me first!" -------- A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer. --- ...HaHa! Oh My! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ___________ \ / )_______( |"""""""|_.-._,.---------.,_.-._ | | | | | | ''-. | |_| |_ _| |_..-' |_______| '-' `'---------'` '-' )"""""""( /_________\ `'-------'` .-------------. jgs/_______________\ >STATEMENTS MADE DURING COURT CASES: Judge: I know you,...... don't I? Defendant: Uh, .........yes. Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you? Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you? Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me. Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie. ------------------------------------------------- From a defendant representing himself... Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I allegedly stole your purse? Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse. Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance. ---------------------------------------------------- Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant? Defendant: No, sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens. ------------------------------------------------- Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys? Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth. Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution. Juror: That's not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth, too. ------------------------------------------------- Lawyer questioning his client on the witness stand: Plaintiff's Lawyer: What doctor treated you for the injuries you sustained while at work? Plaintiff: Dr. J. Plaintiff's Lawyer: And what kind of physician is Dr. J? Plaintiff: Well, I'm not sure, but I remember that you said he was a good plaintiff's doctor. ------------------------------------------------- Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can't they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it. ------------------------------------------------- Lawyer: Tell us about the fight. Witness: I didn't see no fight. Lawyer: Well, tell us what you did see. Witness: I went to a dance at the Turner house, and as the men swung around and changed partners, they would slap each other, and one fellow hit harder than the other one liked, and so the other one hit back and somebody pulled a knife and a rifle that had been hidden and the air was filled with yelling and smoke and bullets. Lawyer: You, too were shot in the fracas? Witness: No sir, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel. ------------------------------------------------- Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer. Judge: And why is that? Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case. Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have a comment on the defendant's motion? Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening. ------------------------------------------------- Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense? Defendant: Habitual thirstiness? --- ...TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- .-""-, ;--. \ _/oo==\===| (_ ___, \ | \\_/ / / `--'\\` /U/`--. ///,____) /// // / '' // <` \`\ \ _/_/__\_ \ | === 4 '--. \ | ~^~^~^~^~^~[_________| ~^~^~^~^~^/////////// ~^~^~^~^~^~^//////jgs// >Grandma's Surfin' The Net! Grandma used to make us cherry pies And call us on the phone She would talk to us for hours; Now she leaves us all alone. We miss her homemade biscuits And I'll make this little bet - If you want to contact Grandma, You'll have to surf the net. Grandma's surfin' the net, We've been calling her all morning And we haven't got her yet She's on her e-mail network With her electronic friends If you want to talk to Grandma, You'll have to surf the net. Grandma's never surfed at Malibu Or caught a wave at Waikiki She's never seen a surf board; Hang ten doesn't mean a thing. She's never met a beach bum; To her Moon Doggie is just a pup But when she heads to her computer, You know the surf is up. Grandma's getting older And her eyes are getting dim Her random access memory Is half of what it's been When St. Peter comes to call, She'll say I can't go yet He'll just have to wait on Grandma, 'Cause Grandma's surfin' the net. --- ...HaHa! A great Classic! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) _ , (_\______/________ \-|-|/|-|-|-|-|/ \==/-|-|-|-|-/ \/|-|-|-|,-' \--|-''' \_j________ (_) (_) hjw >They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The cashier rang up $46.64 charges. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. ------- I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door. ------- One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where?' ------- While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?. When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.' ------- I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern or Pacific time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, Pacific.' ------- My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. ------- My friends and I went out to buy beer and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. ------- I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?' ------- While working at a pizza place I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.' Yep, They Walk Among Us... They Walk Among Us, and sadly, They Reproduce. --- ...LOL! Great ones! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: NASA Provides This Irrefutable Proof To Destroy Man-Made Climate Change Narrative; Media Blackout http://tinyurl.com/y88wyua6 Ben Carson Just Told Everyone What He Thinks About Trump, And The RINOs Are STUNNED http://tinyurl.com/y9goulm5 Trump Goes NUCLEAR! This Could Sink Cryin’ Chuck Schumer And Revive The Trump Agenda http://tinyurl.com/y9orcaev SHOCKING: Debbie Wasserman Schultz Planned To PAY FBI suspect IT Staffer Even After He Fled To Pakistan?!? http://tinyurl.com/yavk5k36 Chuck Grassley Just Uncovered A Heinous Hillary Secret. She Will Be Running For Her Life [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/y8hzvrvr Gorka On Trans Ban: Military Exists To ‘Kill People and Blow Stuff Up,’ Not To Be Socially-Engineered [AUDIO] http://tinyurl.com/ybq7anku Chairman Devin Nunes Just Leaked The One Thing That’ll Bring Obama Down http://tinyurl.com/y8qqn9fk Obama Admin Broke Law “Hundreds of Times” During 2016 Campaign, Says House Intelligence Chair http://tinyurl.com/y9bhn9py BREAKING: Justice Department Opens Investigation Of FBI Head Attorney For Leaking Classified Information http://tinyurl.com/y9qcwjzb Why Is Ben Carson Caving On This Illegal Obama-Era Policy That’s Destroying Our Suburbs? http://tinyurl.com/ybg5v9cb REPORT: What Trump Did to Blacks and Jews 30 Years Ago Just Surfaced http://tinyurl.com/yarjo8pe VIDEO: Indiana Cop Murdered By Car Crash Victims While He Was Trying To Save Them http://tinyurl.com/ybxk7p8o Mike Huckabee Suggests Repealing a 96 Year Old Amendment To Fix John McCain’s Betrayal http://tinyurl.com/yaycmwe4 Obama’s ‘Secret War Room’ Just 2 Miles From White House Aims To Destroy President Trump [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/yavtbaw4 ESPN Comes Clean: Viewers Switched Off NFL Because Of National Anthem Protests http://tinyurl.com/ybvjut34 An Et-Ahem! - Abhorrent: Planned Parenthood Issues Guidelines On Teaching Pre-Schoolers http://tinyurl.com/yd9gtk7y Harry Potter stories have grown way too dark for my tastes - Author J.K. Rowling became a billionaire writing fantasy stories about wizard Harry Potter, and continues to write fiction when discussing President Donald Trump: http://tinyurl.com/y965o3c4 President Trump Speaks to Law Enforcement Officials on MS-13 http://tinyurl.com/y7mf4x2d VIDEO: Gigantic Huntsman Spider The Size Of A Dinner Plate Traps Terrified Family In Their Home http://tinyurl.com/yby4jcpn Latest From Citizens Against Government Waste http://www.cagw.org/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: Two people who ordered a flaming cocktail, were rushed to a hospital after suffering severe burns to their upper bodies, according to police in Texas. Highland Village police said that the incident unfolded at the Shoal Creek Tavern. The couple ordered the flaming cocktail, and while the bar- tender set the drinks on fire, a bottle of alcohol broke. The beverage caught on fire and injured the couple. The victims were taken to the Parkland Medical Center, where they are being treated for severe burns from the waist up. Their injuries were not considered life threatening. The bar was shut down for a few hours, following the incident. Police are investigating the incident, but so far, no charges have been filed. *---------------- Poppin' Fresh ----------------* Washington state troopers responded to a semi truck on the interstate that started to lose its load of bread dough when the heat caused the yeast to rise. Trooper Brooke Bova, the Public Information Officer for District 1, tweeted a photo showing the back of the truck with the rising dough spilling out through the top and back of the trailer. "When you think you've seen it all....dough! The heat is making it rise!" Bova tweeted. Bova wrote the truck driver, who was not injured, "said it's the combination of the amount of yeast and the heat." The mess was cleaned up by the Washington State Department of Transportation, which tweeted out a series of half-baked bread puns, like; "You knead to be an early riser to keep up on this." And, "Dough or dough not... there is no rye." *------- Monkey Bites Kan Be Pretti Nasti -------* The search is underway for a monkey and its owner. Police in Terrell, Texas, said the two were at the Buc-ee's convenience store when a girl was reportedly bitten by the animal. Police are asking for information on the pair. Police apparently want to make sure the monkey is up-to-date on its shots and the girl who was bitten is not in any danger of illness. Buc-ee's did not release any statement on the incident. *-- Ax Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies --* A New York state sheriff's office said deputies pulled over a "suspicious vehicle" with no doors, no windshield, no license plates and an ax embedded in the roof. The Wyoming County Sheriff's Office said deputies responded to a report of a "suspicious vehicle" and they located the car at a nearby intersection. Deputies noted the car had no doors, no windows, no windshield, no license plates and had an ax sticking out from the roof. "A picture says a thousand words!" the sheriff's office said. Sgt. Colin Reagan told The Daily News the driver, Jared Price, 21, "performed poorly" in a field sobriety test and was found to be "impaired by multiple different drug categories." Price was arrested on charges of driving while impaired by drugs, driving while impaired by a combination of drugs and alcohol, driving without license plates, operating an unregistered and uninspected motor vehicle, operating without insurance, lacking a front windshield and driving without safety glass. *------------ You're Doing It Wrong ------------* A police officer was surprised to see a robber trying to steal his cruiser while he was sitting inside the vehicle, according to police in Florida. Fort Pierce police said that they have arrested 20-year-old Aaron Rodriguez III, after being accused of getting into the police car and trying to drive it to his home. According to the police investigation, Rodriguez wanted to get to his home, but did not want to walk. He went to the Fort Pierce police station parking lot, and checked for unlocked doors. He approached a police car with an officer inside, opened the door and sat into the cruiser. When the police officer asked what he was doing, Rodriguez ran out of the vehicle, and ran across the parking lot. He then tried to hide behind another police car. Rodriguez was detained, and during a search, a pipe with marijuana residue was found in his pants. Rodriguez has been charged with grand theft of a motor vehicle, loitering and possession of drug equipment. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _.--._ _.--._ ,-=.-":;:;:;\':;:;:;"-._ \\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\ \\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\ \\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\ \\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;::;:;:;:\ \\\;:;::;:;:;\:;:;:;::;:\ \\\;;:;:_:--:\:_:--:_;:;\ -shimrod \\\_.-" : "-._\ \`_..--""--.;.--""--.._=> " >This Strange English Language. We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim. -<>- My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items. Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers. -<>- A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife murmurs, "I love you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" asks the husband. "It's me," says the wife, "talking to the wine." -<>- I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'Seven Young Blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc." -<>- Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage. "The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth." "But you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, so how could you sell it." "Simple... If I sell it, my wife would kill me!" -<>- Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda for a few hours and relax. In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad, fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis... When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with a nice bottle of wine. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again." The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, "What's his wife's name?" Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda." -<>- An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall. The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?" Bohr chuckled. "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!" -<>- My friend asked his father-in-law, a crop duster, how his day had gone. "I had just the worst day," replied the man. "This morning I was up in my plane dusting a field when I nicked a power line and damaged the wing on the plane. When I got back to the office, my boss chewed me out. Then the guy from the FAA chewed me out. "On my way home, I stopped at a bar and was handed a warm beer. So I yelled at the bartender, 'Don't you have any cold beer?!' "The bartender said, 'Sorry, but we've been out of electricity all day ever since some idiot crop-duster hit a power line down the road.'" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: _________________________________________________________ ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||.--. .-._ .----. || |||==|____| |H|___ .---.___|""""|_____.--.___ || ||| |====| | |xxx|_ |+++|=-=|_ _|-=+=-|==|---||| |||==| | | | | \ | | |_\/_|Black| | ^ ||| ||| | | | | |\ \ .--. | |=-=|_/\_|-=+=-| | ^ ||| ||| | | | | |_\ \_( oo )| | | |Magus| | ^ ||| |||==|====| |H|xxx| \ \ |''| |+++|=-=|""""|-=+=-|==|---||| ||`--^----'-^-^---' `-' "" '---^---^----^-----^--^---^|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| || ___ .-.__.-----. .---.|| || |===| .---. __ .---| |XX|<(*)>|_|^^^||| || , /(| |_|III|__|''|__|:x:|=| | |=| Q ||| || _a'{ / (|===|+| |++| |==| | | |Illum| | R ||| || '/\\/ _(|===|-| | |''| |:x:|=| |inati| | Y ||| ||_____ -\{___(| |-| | | | | | | | | | Z ||| || _(____)|===|+|[I]|DK|''|==|:x:|=|XX|<(*)>|=|^^^||| || `---^-^---^--^--'--^---^-^--^-----^-^---^|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||_______________________________________________________|| Qryz >THE ORIGIN OF THE INTERNET An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit and said, "And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham.Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot." And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear? And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns (and drums in between the towns) to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply, telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had, at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And, indeed, he did insist on making drums that would work only if you bought Brother Gates' drumsticks. And Dot said, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others. And, as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known, "eBay", he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "Whoopee!", said Abraham. "No, YAHOO!" said Dot Com...and that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all. -<>- .-""-. _.-> <-._ .-" '-__-' "-. ," ", .' ', / ___...------...___ \ /_.-*"__...--------...__"*-._\ :_.-*"' .*"*-. .-*"*. '"*-._; ; / ;: \ : ; ; * !! * : : : : .' '. ; ; \ '-.-' '-.-' / \ / '. .' *, '-__-' ,* /.'-_ _-'.'\ / "-_"*-.____.-*"_-" \ / '"*-.___.-*' \ : : | ; ; |.--.; *| :.--.| ( () | () ) '--^_ *| _^--' | "'*--.._I_..--*'" | | __..._ | _..._ | .'" `"'" ''"'. """"""""""""""""""""""" >TOP TEN THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A DAD SAY 10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun? 8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that. 7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!! 6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating's not good enough for you, son? 5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party. 4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks. 3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall. 2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend. Here's $100. 1. What do I want for Father's day? Aahh -- don't worry about that. It's no big deal. (Okay, he might say it, but he doesn't mean it!) ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) _.--"""--._ .' '-. `. __/__ (-. `\ \ /o `o \ \ \ \ _\__.__/ )) | | ; .--;" | | \ ( `) | | \ _|`---' .' _, _| | `\ '`_\ \ '_,.-';_.-`\| \ \_ .' '--'---;` / / |\ |_..--' \ \'-'.' .--'.__/ __.-; `"` (___...---''` \ _/_ \ /jgs\ \___/ ~ Here's A Few Links In Honor Of Mutt's Day... About Dogs And People! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aboutdogs.html Dogs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogs.html Cameo Dogs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cameodogs.html Dog Warriors! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogwarriors.html Super Puppies! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/puppy.html K9 9/11 Heroes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/k9-11.html Why We Love Dogs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whydog.html Dog Eat Dog World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogeatdog.html Dogs As Best Friends! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestfriend.html Pets Left Home Alone! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome.html Dog Days Of Summer! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogdays.html Sgt.Stubby War Dog Hero! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stubbywardog.html Pets In Camouflage! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshiding.html Awww Animals! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals.html Why God Gave Us Pets! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gpets.html Buildings In Camouflage! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildingshiding.html Wild Bear Farm! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildbearfarm.html Newborn Moose! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moose.html Leopard VS Croc! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/leopard.html Bambi & Thumper! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bambi.html The photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his huskies when the polar bear materialized out of the blue, as it were. Here's Pictures From This Spectacular Encounter. Enjoy! :) http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/polar.html Jody has had Berry since 1998. When Jody first got the mule and shot the first lion out, Berry casually came over to the lion and just sort of nuzzled and nibbled at it. With each lion Berry got more aggressive. It didn't take more than two lions before Berry got really aggressive to the lion until he got to braying real loud and couldn't wait to get at the cat. These Pictures Were Taken Around 2002-2003. Enjoy! :) http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mulelion.html Here is a great example of How NOT To Release A bear back into the wild! A member of the national park service gave it his best shot, but all went terribly wrong! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearrelease.html -<>- >Please Visit/Follow Me On StumbleUpon: http://tinyurl.com/y9xze3jw -<>- >From The Mouth: HOMESTAR RUNNER Unfortunately he can't sing very well and it sounds like he's chewing a marshmallow (which he actually is in the Fluffy Puff commercial), but the Comeback Kid (otherwise known as Homestar Runner) stars in these amusing Flash animations. Click on "Toons" to view some of them, via a Lucky Toons Menu. We recommend "In Search Of The Yello Dello" and the "Fluffy Puff Commercial". http://www.homestarrunner.com/ SETI PROJECT TURNS DOWN ALIEN HELP Berkeley, Cal. (SatireWire.com) - Scientists for SETI@home, the worldwide project that uses millions of personal computers to aid in the search for extraterrestrial life, said today they have recently rejected several offers of technical assistance from aliens, arguing that bringing in outside help would be cheating. The full story is at the link below. http://www.satirewire.com/news/0106/seti.shtml -<>- >Beautiful Songs... The Most Beautiful Song Ever Written (Australian Aboriginal) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXDJneVbEC8 Gurrumul and Paul Kelly - Amazing Grace https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVORrx9jIiE Sting & Geoffrey Gurrumul Every Breath You Take https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBVXEoqJclc -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) The world is home to the most natural, timeless beauty that no words can ever describe. I invite you to sit back and take time to bask in the beautiful sights of this remarkable planet we are lucky enough to inhabit. Immerse yourself in this thrilling experience as you zoom past wondrous mountains, hills and canyons, soar over dazzling rivers, seas and oceans, and watch a spectacular birds-eye view of the beautiful diversity this planet can offer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=x7b-pXRHMks Business Magician Kostya Kimlat fools Penn and Teller with his amazing and incredible card trick. As a result, Penn gets extremely jealous! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCFXV6o7cro What would you say if I told you the vehicles you see in car ads aren't real? The Blackbird is a car rig that filmmakers use instead of an actual car. Mechanical adjustments and lots of editing can transform it into any vehicle. Watch to learn about the technology that has been fooling us for years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnBC5bwV5y0 --- ...Wowsers! Dazzling! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >Revisiting - From Our Friend Bunni :) Glenn Miller Routine - Hooked on Swing - Mary Ray - YouTube http://www.youtube.com/embed/18F_sIaimGM?rel=0 Most Intelligent Jumpy - The Super Dog (Video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I_QzPLEjM4 Awesome - Mary Poppins - Theatrics with Andre' Rieu http://www.youtube.com/embed/IWH3Hmsr5fM/?feature=player_embed Flight Of Honor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7TZqJMQWeU --- ...Super Sweet! Thanks Bunni! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Two ATMs here in New York were shut down for dispensing counterfeit money. People were suspicious after one guy kept asking, 'Hey, can you break a 23?'" -Jimmy Fallon "A study has found that the most popular type of business in New Jersey is golf equipment stores. Though most customers come in and say, 'I need a blunt object and a bag about as big as a guy.'" -Seth Meyers "Scientists believe the first modern Europeans mated with Neanderthals. This is the oldest evidence yet of beer goggles." -Conan O'Brien "We hear of the conversion of water into wine at the marriage in Cana as of a miracle. But this conversion is, through the goodness of God, made every day before our eyes. Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, and which incorporates itself with the grapes, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy." -Benjamin Franklin "Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with." ~Jill Shalvis A new report says 60 percent of teenagers don't have even a basic knowledge of finances. Although in fairness, I'm 38 and I just found out this year that a 401(k) is NOT a type of marathon." -Jimmy Fallon "Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk claims he has gotten verbal approval to connect New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington with a high-speed train that runs in an airless tube. While the New York City subway just introduced brand-new rotary phones." -Seth Meyers "A new study from the University of Sussex found that horses can recognize human emotions based on our facial expressions. Yet another reason you should never play poker with a horse -- and they never pitch in for the pizza." -Stephen Colbert "A new poll found that 10 percent of people post vacation photos on social media to make others jealous, and 100 percent of people click on them to see co-workers in a bathing suit." -Seth Meyers "In North Carolina, a mother is suing a daycare center because one of the workers there breastfed her son without permission. Authorities say she doesn't really have a case because her son is 32." -Conan O'Brien "A new study found that married couples who go on double dates with other couples are more likely to have better relationships. They say it inspires better communication - on the ride home, when you talk about how much you hated the other couple." -Jimmy Fallon Growing old is not upsetting; what's upsetting is being perceived as old. Ever notice that once you only had time to fetch a drink during a TV commercial break? Now you can go out and rake the lawn. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither. >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************