My America And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Today we have 2 hot pages that show us the more great wonders of God's creation. The first one is from our friend Geniann! I can not possibly imagine how beautiful and dangerous this would be in person! Glad to have these photos to see this safely! . '@(@@@@@@@)@. (@@) ` . ' . @@'((@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@)@@@@@@@)@ @@(@@@@@@@@@@))@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@` . @.((@@@@@@@)(@@@@@@@@@@@@@@))@\@@@@@@@@@)@@@ . (@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@\\@@)@@@@@@@@) (@@@@@@@@)@@@@@@@@@@@@@(@@@@@@@@//@@@@@@@@@) ` .@(@@@@)##&&&&&(@@@@@@@@)::_=(@\\@@@@)@@ . .' @@`(@@)###&&&&&!!;;;;;;::-_=@@\\@)@`@. ` @@(@###&&&&!!;;;;;::-=_=@.@\\@@ ' ` @.#####&&&!!;;;::=-_= .@ \\ ####&&&!!;;::=_- ` ###&&!!;;:-_= ##&&!;::_= ##&&!;:= ##&&!:- #&!;:- #&!;= #&!- #&= jgs #&- \\#/' Australian Fire Tornado! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firetornado.html This next hottie is from our friend KarenF. These are indeed rare! One of God's little beauties to awe us! __ .---. __ / ` .-.7,--. / `. .-''. -, , \ '--.- -; | ) / ,` / \ ,_) / '-. / ( ( | / .' ) \ '. `--,/ .---' ,-.| `--. / '-, -' .' .==,=; `-,.;--' / ,' _;--;| /_...=' || jgs || .==,=. ||/ '.\ ,||`'=...__\ || Frost Flowers http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frostflowers.html --- ...Wow! Shows How Great God Is! He still can surprise and delight us! Thank You Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Dear Diary, It's been a while since I've made an entry, but I've been rather busy. Between work, family and my never ending search for the perfect Hooters waitress, I just haven't had the time. But tonight something special happened. During the celebration of my youngest daughter's first birthday, we discovered that she is a genius. * With cameras rolling we put her _....#...._ first piece of birthday cake in .-'` # `'-. front of her. One taste and she |`-.............-'| was off to the races. Cake | Happy Birthday! | everywhere. The table, the \ _ .-. _ / floor, the chair and a four inch ,-|'-' '-' '-' '-'`|-, radius around her mouth, pretty /` \._ _./ `\ much her entire face. She did '._ `"""""""""""` _.' manage to get a goodly amount `''--...........--''` into her mouth by herself, but ) ( that's not what makes her a genius. .--' '--. jgs / \ When she had finished and realized that `'---------'` she wasn't going to get another piece, she picked up the paper plate and began to lick the frosting off of it! I didn't learn that trick until I was almost 20 years-old! .===. "Honey! Honey! Do you see that? / ,,, \ She's a genius," I said as fatherly ( /6.6\ ) pride began to seep in. )( _ )( (_/;---;\_) "She picked up the plate and licked / "=" \ it. She's a genius!" ( (_.@._) ) /'._\|/_.'\ My wife thought so, too. She said, /. . . . . .\ "Yeah. She gets that from your side `"`"|"|"|"`"` of the family." jgs _|_|_|_ (___|___) ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 8 is Video Games Day July 9 is National Sugar Cookie Day July 10 is Clerihew Day July 11 is National Cheer Up The Lonely Day July 12 is National Pecan Pie Day July 13 is Fool's Paradise Day July 14 is National Nude Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .--..-""""-..--. ///`/////////\`\\\ ||/ |///""\\\| \|| ## ( 6. 6 ) ## /_\ \ _. / /_\ _`) (`_ /` '--' `\ / _,,_ \ / /` `\ \ /\_/ / 6 6\ \_/\ \ \/\ Y /\/ / \ \/ `'U` \/ / \( \ / )/ |\_/ \_/| / ____ \ \ ( || ) / (__)||(__) | || | |__||__| jgs |==||==| /~`//~`/ / // / `""` `"` >Better? A 3-year old girl was being watched by her Aunt while Mom and Dad went on a much-needed date. She was playing chase the dog around the house. She tripped over the dog and got an "owie" on her knee. Her aunt didn't see any real injury, but kissed it to make it "better." The little girl said it felt better, but two Oreo cookies would make it feel much better. -<>- >Escaped Lion A man was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running toward him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What's happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the city zoo." "Oh no! Which way is it heading?" "Well, you don't think we're chasing it, do you?" -<>- >Gaudiness, Godliness and Self-Control Many years ago, when my 9 year old daughter was 3, we went to our usual Sunday morning church service. We were seated and waiting for the service to begin, when this woman walked by us in a really bright, gaudy dress. My husband, who never says anything about anyone, even made a comment about how "loud" the dress was. After the service was over, we were standing outside the church chatting with another couple. I couldn't see my daughter and then I noticed her standing right next to (practically on top of) the woman with the dress. When I asked her what she was doing, she said "I'm trying to hear this dress mom. Dad said it was really loud, but I haven't heard it make a peep yet." Everyone within earshot, with the exception of my husband and the woman in the dress burst out laughing. My husband wanted to crawl in a hole, and I have to say I never saw that particular dress worn again. -<>- >Marriage Vows Ken and Marjorie finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library. "You know," said Marjorie, "today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don't use the word 'obey' anymore." "Too bad, isn't it?" retorted Ken. "It used to lend a little humor to the occasion." -<>- >Respectable Judge A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. "Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them," instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. "But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear," she protested. "Then," said the attorney, "just whisper them to the judge." ========================================================= >-->From our Friend LouiseA :) .-"""""""-. .' __ \_ / / \/ \ | \_0/\_0/______ |:. .' oo`\ |:. / \ |' ; | | |:.. . \_______ | |::.|' , \,_____\ / |:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;() |::; | | ; ; | | # # # #:::::: /::::.|-| |_|-|, \ # # # #:::::: /'-=-'` '-' '--'\ # # # #:::::: jgs / \ # # # #:::::: # # # # # # # H A P P Y # # # # # # # # # # # # # # F O U R T H O F J U L Y # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # >My America I celebrate my country everyday that I live, everyday that I wake up free to do as I choose, go where I please, worship in my way and speak my mind without fear of reprisal. I am awed by the overwhelming splendor and beauty of my America. We are a people joined together by love, duty and friendship. When other countries in the world suffer catastrophic disasters, we Americans are the first to respond to a call of help. With unselfish love and caring hearts we share our money, food, time and prayers to those in need. I celebrate the goodness and glory of this great country. The glory we would not have but for the many men and women who so proudly serve and defend this land. I humbly salute them and those who have lost their lives in honor of America. I celebrate the vast number of cultures in this country, a people as varied right here in America as in the whole world. I celebrate and honor the Native American Indian who has sacrificed and suffered for so many years. I celebrate the great institution known as family, where love stems and flows forever. From Mom's apple pie and wisdom, to Dad's wealth of knowledge and guidance . We gather together in love and laughter…..and freedom. I celebrate our wonderful holidays! When family and friends gather together to share our many blessings. My heart is full to bursting with love for my country! Celebrate America!!! --- ...Amen! I pray all had a great 4th Celebration! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- __---__ ______ / ___\_ o O O _( )__ /====(_____\___---_ o _( )_ | \ (_ AI-YA!!!! ) | |@ (_ Shot _) \ ___ / (__ Again!__) \ __----____--_\____(____\_____/ (______) ==|__----____--______| / / \____/)_ / ______) / | | | _| | ______\______________|______ / * * \ /_____________*____*___________\ / * * \ /________________________________\ / * \ /__________________________________\ | | |________________________| | | |________________________| unknown (after W< ) >Just in case you needed a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one: After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.... P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from the midget --- ...HaHa! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- , ----. - - ` ,__.,' \ .' *` / | | / **\ . / ****. | mm | ****| \ | ****| ` ._______ \ ****/ \ /`---' \___( /~~~~\ / \ / | \ | | \ , ~~ . |, ~~ . | |\ ( |||| ) ( |||| )(,,,)` ( |||||| )-( |||||| ) | ^ ( |||||| ) ( |||||| ) |'/ ( |||||| )-( |||||| )___,'- ( |||| ) ( |||| ) ` ~~ ' ` ~~ ' >Smiles A newcomer to London arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and, out of despair, asks, "Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?" The kid says, "How should I know? I'm only 6." ------------ A farmer walked out to the edge of his fields and summoned his two sons. When they finally arrived back at the farm house, the father told his sons that he wanted to teach them a lesson about honesty and integrity. The two boys listened with interest. "When George Washington was a young man " he said "George chopped down a cherry tree. His father asked George who had chopped down the the cherry tree, and because he was honest his father did not spank him." "Now" the farmer said, "I want to know who pushed the outhouse into the creek." After a few awkward moments the younger son finally confessed that he had done it. The farmer took off his belt and and said. "You're gonna git it." The son screamed "What about George Washington? His father didn't whip him." "True," said the farmer, "but his father wasn't in the cherry tree when he cut it down." ------------ Sandra and Lisa met for lunch one day to celebrate Lisa's 45th birthday. Noticing a locket around Lisa's neck, Sandra said, "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Lisa answered, "Yes. It contains a memento of an old deceased friend - it's a lock of my husband's hair." Sandra exclaimed, "But your husband is still alive!" Lisa said, "I know, but his hair is gone. Sandra and Lisa met for lunch one day to celebrate Lisa's 45th birthday. Noticing a locket around Lisa's neck, Sandra said, "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Lisa answered, "Yes. It contains a memento of an old deceased friend - it's a lock of my husband's hair." Sandra exclaimed, "But your husband is still alive!" Lisa said, "I know, but his hair is gone. ------------ I was visiting my niece last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. 'I don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this......That fly never knew what hit him! ------------ She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk? He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money. ------------ The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven." ------------ One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns. Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him." ------------ A certain private school was faced with a unique problem: A number of junior high girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the janitor would remove them; and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the janitor. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the janitor who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, the principal asked the janitor to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet water, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirrors. ------------ It was Black Friday, the day of the big after Thanksgiving sale. The ads were full of exciting bargains, and so the long line formed at 5:00 am for the store opening at 6:00. A small Jewish man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back by the Gentiles in line, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line... "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!" ------------ An old woman was visiting her doctor and complained about being tired and creaky all the time. "You have to expect things to start deteriorating" the doctor chided. "Besides who wants to live to be 100?" The elderly woman replied "Anyone who is 99." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >An exceptionally Good Catholic Joke The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards President Obama and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!" Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand? ....Show me!" So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage! AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was much happiness throughout the land! --- ...Oh My! You're Bad! LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >Unsequestered vacation With the current sequestration in DC shutting down something as basic as White House tours one would think our Dear Leader might cut back a bit himself, right? Well he and his wife and kids are spending a week or so in Africa. Summer vacation!! Fighter jets, a Navy ship w/a full trauma center, military cargo planes carrying 56 vehicles and 14 limo’s, and 3 trucks loaded w/bulletproof glass to cover windows of the hotels in which he’s staying will only cost you and me up to $100,000,000 – that’s right a HUNDRED million – for 8 days vacation in his homeland… oops, I forgot. . .he was born in Hawaii. --- ...Nice for them, huh? Thanks LouiseA! I haven't been on vacation since 1993! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: Independence Day is about celebrating our declaration of freedom from the British. It is usually accompanied by a cook out, maybe a little alcohol and, of course, fireworks. Rarely does it involve threatening crowds of people with heavy artillery. Fortunately for the people and police of Shelby Township, Michigan this Fourth of July was no exception, but for a short while they all thought they were going to die a horrible death. According to police, the bizarre incident occurred about 11 p.m. as the fireworks displays wound down. Township police received multiple calls from residents who reported a man was driving a military vehicle and firing an automatic weapon at crowds of people. When officers arrived, they discovered nobody was injured and they quickly located the vehicle, which turned out to be an antique World War II-era armor-plated vehicle with a replica 50-caliber machine gun mounted. The weapon had been modified to fire compressed gas and emit a bright flash and loud realistic gunfire sounds. One person was arrested. Charges are pending. And dozens of pairs of underwear were changed. *-- Teacher wears same outfit on picture day for 40 years --* DALLAS - A retired teacher from Dallas who wore the same outfit for yearbook picture day for 40 years says he started the trend by accident and kept it up on a dare. Dale Irby, 63, said the whole stunt started out in 1974, when he wore the same outfit for picture day as he did the year before, the Dallas Morning News reported. "I was so embarrassed when I got the school pictures back that second year and realized I had worn the very same thing as the first year," said Irby, an elementary school gym teacher. Then, his wife dared him to wear the outfit -- a patterned polyester shirt and coffee-colored sweater -- again for a third year in a row. "After five pictures," he said, "it was like: 'Why stop?'" Irby wore the same outfit every year until he retired from Prestonwood Elementary this year. "He took his job so seriously in teaching good sportsmanship -- both in athletics and in life," Prestonwood principal Pam Aitken said. "He taught a lot of kids to be fair and respectful of others. That's a great legacy to leave." *-- Man charged with pretending to be foreign diplomat --* SHAKER HEIGHTS, Ohio - An Ohio man has been charged with impersonating a diplomat from the Vatican while trying to buy a car, prosecutors said. Derek J. Bishop, 42, of Shaker Heights, has been charged with fictitious obligations, impersonating a diplomat and wire fraud, The (Cleveland) Plain Dealer reported. The U.S. Attorney's Office for the Northern District of Ohio said Bishop used fake checks to buy a 2013 Nissan Armada for $54,098 from Ganley Nissan in Mayfield Heights. At the dealership, Bishop allegedly claimed he was a foreign diplomat of the Vatican/Postmaster General of the Divine Province in an attempt to avoid paying taxes on the car. Bishop allegedly claimed to be a Vatican diplomat while demanding his release from the Cuyahoga County Jail, his indictment states. Bishop pleaded not guilty Wednesday to all charges against him. *-- Bigfoot researcher says hundreds of sightings in Ohio --* WADSWORTH, Ohio - An Ohio Bigfoot believer told a library audience he is one of hundreds of people to spot a sasquatch wandering the state's woods. Marc DeWerth, a member of the Ohio Bigfoot Association, told the crowd of more than 60 people during his Saturday lecture at the Wadsworth Public Library that he sighted one of the never- confirmed creatures personally near east-central Coshocton County's Wills Creek on April 20, 1997, The Medina County Gazette reported Monday. "I was always the guy to say I'd take the fur off its back if I ever saw one," he said. "But what I saw intimidated me." DeWerth showed the crowd video images he took during the encounter. The video appears to depict a hairy creature moving near some trees. DeWerth said rangers told him Bigfoot sightings had been reported in the area for 20 years. He said there have been hundreds of sightings reported by hunters, farmers and other travelers in Medina, Wayne and Summit counties. However, DeWerth cautioned his audience that most Bigfoot sightings are mistakes or hoaxes. "Be skeptical," DeWerth said. "This is fantastic subject matter, but you have to be honest with yourself." *-- Florida woman arrested for allegedly kissing police officer --* BRADENTON, Fla. - A Florida woman who planted a kiss on a police officer's nose as he mediated a dispute between her and a neighbor got herself cuffed and charged with a felony. Peggy Hill, 62, of Bradenton was speaking with Manatee County Sheriff's Office Sgt. Randy Lamb late Saturday, who was summoned to the neighborhood to resolve a fight over the placement of a fence between two residences. Lamb said he was speaking with Hill when "she approached him and kissed him on his nose against his will." Lamb, an 18-year veteran, stepped away from Hill and "wiped off the saliva from his nose," the website TheSmokingGun.com reported. With the help of another deputy, Lamb "gently" took Hill to the ground and handcuffed her. In a post-arrest interview Hill admitted to drinking three glasses of wine prior to her encounter with police. She said "the thought just popped into her head" to kiss Lamb on the nose. Hill was charged with felony battery and was being held in lieu of $5,000 bond. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) ,/ \. |( )| \`-._:,\ /.;_,-'/ `.\_`\')(`/'_/,' )/`.,'\( |. ,| :6) (6; \`\ _(\ \._'; `.___...---..________...------._ \ | ,' . . . . .`:. \`.' . . . . . . . \\ `. . . \ . . ..::: . :: \ . . . ..::::::::'' ': . || \ `. :. .:' \ '. . ;; `._ \ ::: ; _,\ :. |/( `.`::: /--....---''' \ `. :. :`\` | |:': \ `. :.\ | |' ; \ (\ .\ | |.: \ \`. : |.| | ) / :.| | |.| /./ | | |.| | / / | | | | | /./ |.| ;_;_; ,'_/ ;_| '-/_( '--' /,' SSt >Spare Time Did I tell you? with all this spare time I have, the war department has been bugging me to take up hobbies and such, as you know. I talked about this in previous issues.So, one thing I decided to do was to take up deer hunting. I scouted the area all summer. . . I searched out the best location for my tree-stand . . ... I set it all up a month ahead of time . . . I trailed the herd . . . I picked out a trophy buck .. .. Two days before opening day I rechecked every aspect of the hunt . .. Everything was in place . . .. Sunday morning, I woke up at 2 am . .. . I put on my camo, loaded my pack, set out for my stand . . . This was destined to be an epic hunt . . .. As I approached my deer stand . . View this here... http://tinyurl.com/m7u6f8o --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks Geniann! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friends PatDeE And KarenF :) ___ _.-' \ / \ / \ / `.___ ( .--.)\/(,.--. `-. ,',-. \ / ,-.`. ) ( / \ / \ ) / \ || .-| |-. ||---'| \ _|| | | | | ||_ | \ /. \ |_|.---.|_| / ,\ | .^.\ `.\ `--" "--' /,' |/ `> _________ <' ,-' ,---.---.---. `-. `--'\ \j/ /`--' `.\ /,' \\_______// `-------' hjw >We are becoming LESS and LESS by the day: Our communication - Wireless Our dress - Topless Our telephone - Cordless Our cooking - Fireless Our food - Fatless Our labor - Effortless Our conduct - Worthless Our relationships - Loveless Our attitude - Careless Our feelings - Heartless Our politics - Shameless Our education - Valueless Our follies - Countless Our arguments – Baseless Our youth - Jobless Our Job - Thankless Our Salary – Well, mostly just LESS ___ ,'._,`. (-.___.-) (-.___.-) `-.___.-' (( @ @| . __ \ ` | ,\ |`. @| | | _.-._ __`.`=-=mm===mm:: | | |`. | | | ,'=` '=`. ( `-'|:/ /:/ `/ @| | | |, @| @| /---)W(---\ \ \ / / / / @| | ' (----| |----) ,~ |\ \ / /| / / @| \---| |---/ | | \ V /||/ / `.-| |-,' | | `-' |V / \| |/ @' | , |-' __| |__ | .;: _,-. ,--""..| |..""--. ;;:::' " ) (`--::__|_|__::--') ,-" _, / \`--...___...--'/ ( -:--'/ / /`--...___...--'\ "-._ `"'._/ /`---...___...---'\ "-._ "---. (`---....___....---') .' ",._ ,' ) |`---....___....---'| /`._| `| | (`---....___....---') ( \ | / \`---...___...---'/ `. `, ^"" `:--...___...--;' `.,' hh `-._______.-' FYI: Snakes don’t bite in rivers or swamps because they would drown if they did. McDonald's originally served hotdogs, not hamburgers. Frog bones form a new ring every year when the frog is hibernating, just like trees do. Scientists count these rings to determine the age of the frog. Dwight D. Eisenhower, who became one of the most Successful commanders in history, was admitted to West Point only because the applicant who ranked ahead of him failed the physical. The population of Washington, D.C. is greater than the population of Wyoming. A notch in a tree will remain the same distance from the ground as the tree grows. 90% of the tornadoes on Earth happen in the United States. The Star of Bethlehem, which guided the three wise men to the infant Jesus, appears only once every 974 years. It is a bright conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in the constellation of Pisces, which was last seen in 1942 and will not reappear until 2916. The tongue is the fasted healing part of the human body. Thomas Jefferson invented the swivel chair. Alligators can climb trees. Malcolm X's real name is Malcolm Little. Saint Patrick's real name was Maewyn Succat. Ralph Lauren's real name is Ralph Lifshitz. Houdini's real name was Ehrich Weiss. The phrase ' The 3 R's ' ( standing for 'reading, writing and arithmetic' ) was created by Sir William Curtis, who was illiterate. On December 23rd, 1750, Benjamin Franklin knocked himself unconscious while attempting to electrocute a turkey. The only South East Asian country that has never been colonized by a Western Power is Thailand. Amish people do not believe in the use of aerosal air fresheners. Thomas Edison once saved a boy from the path of an oncoming locomotive who was a station official's child. For his bravery, the boy's father taught Edison how to use the telegraph. Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets combined Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants. The founder of JC Penny had the middle name of Cash. "Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language --- ...Most Interesting! Thanks PatDeE And KarenF! ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) . __ / \ . ' || ' . )J( .` || `. (8)7) . \ || / . Spinning Wheel (') .'/ _ \ .-''-. / _ \ (=) .' J `- .' .--. '. -` L (') .' F======' ((<>)) '======J )J(' L '. `||' .' F (7(8) \ _.- `-||-' -._ / \'/ . / || \ . / | . / || \ . / | ` . _||_ . ` / |___________ _.-||_________ (()\.'| ___.....'''' ||._ .' \.`- .'. /__\/ .'| .'_______________________________.' || |'---------------------------'|==.|| ||.' || ||.' || ||===========================|| (__) || || (__) LGB (__) >100 Years Ago... Show this to your friends, children and/or grandchildren! The year is 1910, over one hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1910: *********************************** The average life expectancy for men was 47 years. Fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only. Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub. Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower ! The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour. The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year. A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, A dentist $2,500 per year, A veterinarian between $1,500 - $4,000 per year, And a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME. Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, Many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard.' Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee was fifteen cents a pound. Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo. There was no such thing as under arm deodorant or tooth paste. Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason. The five leading causes of death were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2, Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke The American flag had 45 stars. The population of Las Vegas Nevada was only 30! Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day. Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school. Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help. There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. ! I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself. From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD...all in a matter of seconds! Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years. Share this with your teenagers and younger. What a difference 100 years makes!!! --- ...(Again - not vetting all these) Great Info! Thanks Linda! ============================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: /\ ,'.' ',' _.,._ _,.-+`'+-._ .|. _.+'` `.' \ (___) ,' \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ _.-~`'~-._ _\_.-+'`'`+-._\ ag `,' `---` My town takes jury selection very seriously. So much so that when it sends questionnaires to perspective jurors, every question is expected to be answered in full--plain and simple, no ifs, ands or buts. This was evidenced by the juror's questionnaire I was sent. It asked, Do you speak, read and understand English? If no, explain." [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.] -<>- A man is walking his dog, and passes a little restaurant; the cooking smells are so tempting, he decides he would like to stop for lunch, but the sign says no animals are permited. After a couple of moment's thought, he decided to brazen it out: he puts on a pair of sunglasses, walks into the rest- aurant, with his dog on a leash and asks to be seated. The waiter says "I am sorry sir, but we do not permit animals in the restaurant." The man says, "But I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The waiter responds skeptically: "Your seeing eye dog? Sir, that dog is a Chihuahua." The man responds: "A Chihuahua! They gave me a Chihuahua?" -<>- Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates. We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful--we never even felt hungry! But when we realized we were gaining weight, not losing it, I checked the recipes again. There, in fine print, was: "Serves 6." [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.] -<>- [I know this is an old one but the classics never die...they just turn into eye-rollers.] A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done. Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!" Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words, "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?" -<>- Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said "Let's play doctor." "Good idea." said the other. "You operate, and I'll sue." -<>- Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" -<>- There was this city-girl who was out driving and found her- self out in the country. She drove by a farmer standing next to a large impressive-looking animal and stopped the car to ask the farmer a question. "Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?" The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone. "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, _|\ _/|_, ,((\\``-\\\\_ ,(()) `))\ ,(())) ,_ \ ((())' | \ ))))) >.__ \ (((' / `-. .c| hjw / `-`' is 'cause it's a horse." -<>- I was sitting on the sofa with my teenage son, discussing his day at school. "Mom," he said, "there's going to be a dance at the school this Friday and it's going to be formal. Could I get a new pair of sneakers?" -<>- The other night, my wife and I were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?" -<>- One caller to our answering service gave me his name, number and message and then said, "You know my name. What's yours?" "We're not allowed to give our names," I replied, "but my operator number is 4136" Sounding disappointed, he said, "May I call you by your first digit, or would that be too personal?" -<>- At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember the faithful dead... As the church grew quiet, a little boy sitting in front of me turned to his father and said excitedly, "Dad, you have some of their albums!" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: . .. __..---/______//-----. (( ) .".--.```| - /.--. =: ( VROOM! )) (.: {} :__L______: {} :__; __--( __- -_= ) *--* *--* jnh >Bad Excuses For Speeding "This is my tryout for Nascar." "I've got to get back to Amish Country before they realize that I am missing." "That McDonald's offer is for a Limited Time only and buddy, that could run out at ANYTIME!" "Cause those Tacos rule." "Uh-Oh..Wapner's on...I'm an excellent driver." "Trying to see how fast a Yugo can go." "Umm... I'm drunk?" -<>- . ' . ' ' . ' . . . . . .; . .': . .' : . : ; . \./ . .' . :;|.;: . 'd '' |' >You Might Be A Physics Major... if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically. if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division. if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force." if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer. if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver." if you think in "math." if you have a pet named after a scientist. if you can translate English into Binary. if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be any- where in the universe. -<>- .-===-. \ / | | __|:::|__ .-===-. _.--' |:::| `-._ \ / __ / (:::::) \ |:::| | | \ `---' / __|:::|__ |..| ``--...____...--'' _.--' |:::| `-._ /_/\_\ ___..-(O/ / (:::::) \ | __...--' __..-'' \ `---' /_.--(o)_...--' ``--...____...--''__..--'_| \O)___..--' \ \/ / .-------------|''|-------------. / |__| \ LGB /__________________________________\ '----------------------------------' >Defining Different Heights ** Height of Isolation: Two people sitting side by side using e-mails to communicate with each other. ** Height of Cowardice: Two persons fighting through e-mails. ** Height of Helplessness: Receiving no e-mails for a week. ** Height of Frustration: The email server being down. ** Height of Carelessness: Writing a love mail and doing a 'Send All.' ** Height of Achievement: A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply. ** Height of Timepass: A person sending email to himself. ** Height of Expectation: Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match. -<>- Your servant! . ` .=._,z /( )-' ,Murphy's Laws of Work A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives. Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Wieliczka Salt Mine! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/saltmine.html Eagle Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eaglerescue.html Rules For US Civilians http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rules.html Stuck Animals http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stuck.html Stuck Animals http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stuck.html -<>- >From our Friend LouiseA :) Scam Notice - Visa / MasterCard FRAUD http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/creditcard.asp --- ...Thanks For the Info LouiseA! Iceland is known for its whimsical landscapes, but this is something else! This amazing juggler takes in the beautiful sites while effortlessly pulling off some first-person juggling tricks! Juggling Around Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dXx31LNnZKo RAY STEVENS .. CREATIVE .. AND .. STILL FUNNY .. The invisible border - turn up your sound for this one: http://www.youtube.com/embed/WgOHOHKBEqE?feature=player_detailpage --- ...LOL! Pretty Cool! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) games.sallini.com: RoofDrop http://sallini.com/games/thegames/challenge/roofdrop/index.html Escherian Stairwell http://www.bitoffun.com/video_vault/escherian-stairwell.htm The Rainbow Bridge Poem - A Pet Loss Poem http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm One Brave Little Dog http://www.dogwork.com/kan6/ --- ...aww, Good Ones! Thanks Melody! Reminds me of this one Just Have Faith! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/faith.html ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "It was reported that nearly two out of ten men and four out of ten women of recruiting age are too fat for the military. To meet goals, the Army may change its slogan. An Army of one - the size of two." --Jay Leno "The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like anything." --Mark Twain "The Constitution of the United States of America, Article V, Section 1: There shall be a National Anthem containing in- comprehensible words and a high note that normal humans can not hit without risk of a hernia." --Dave Barry "Experts in Washington say that if the coast guard's ships aren't replaced soon, they will be unable to keep drugs and illegal aliens from entering our country. God forbid that should ever happen – imagine what this place would be like if illegal aliens and drugs were able to get in here?" --Jay Leno "Every year Uncle Earl has a special fireworks show he puts on for the family. It's exciting. And every year about three-quarters through the show I have to say the same thing, 'Okay, pick up his fingers and pack them in ice.'" --Dave Letterman "A group of people here in California are fighting for the right for women to be able to sunbathe topless in California. The name of this group... guys." --Jay Leno >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************