No Q And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Well, as many of you have already noticed, our new President has wasted no time in getting down and dirty with his agenda that many of us had hoped he would forget by the time he got into office. But no such luck. He quickly posted his agenda on the White House web site and started with his 'Changes' \ \ , | , \ / ,_--_, \./ // _ _\ \./ ;;\ / x x /;;; \ \ | _\ / / \ \ \ o / / / \ `-'\__/-' / \ \/ / | /\ | | |//|| | \/ | .--'-----'-----. /| | / | | | | ,d888b, | | | J8888888L | :F_P: | | 888888888 | READ ALL ABOUT IT... >From AFA: Obama acts quickly, lays out his abortion and gay agenda http://www.afa.net/obamaagenda.asp >From With Bias: Obama's Initiative: Free Terrorists, Kill Babies, Don't Ask Questions _|_ | .-'''''-. .-' '-. .-' :::::_::::: '-. ___/ ==:...:::-:::...:== \___ /_____________________________\ ':'-._________________________.-'_ ':::\ @-,`-[-][-^-][-]-`,-@ / _| |_ '::| .-------------------. ||_ @ _| ::|=|* ___ _ ___ *|=|'.| | ':| |' ))_) )) ))_) '| |::.^| _:|=|' ((`\ (( (( '|=|::::::. _| || |' _ '| |:::::::. |_ |=|'2009 _( )_ 2009'|=|':::::. | || |' ( (_ ~ _) ) '| | ':::' |^||=|* ) (_) ( *|=| '::' | '-------------------' .::::' |_____________________.::::::' .'___________________.::::::'' |_______________.::::'':::''' .'_____________.::::::''::::'' .:::'''' LGB .'::::' .:::::''':. .:::::' http://www.withbias.net/2009/01/obamas-initiative-free-terrorists-kill.html >From OneNewsNow: Change we never imagined http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=395872 Obama to lift ban on U.S.-funded abortions abroad http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=395934 So, with all these unGodly actions, I decided that it is best that we Christians start 'Walking In Power' - if we aren't already! God, our beloved Father, gave us the tools so we need only to use them. After all, a tool is only good if it is used. Here is a simple example: You have a nail to be used to hold a loose board in place. God gives you the perfect tool to use, He gives you a hammer. He doesn't make you use it. It is your choice. But, unless you know the hammer is available to use, you might just try to use your fist or your head! Silly huh? A tool is only good if it is used properly for what it is intended for. It gives you power! Power to do what you'd have a hard time doing or couldn't do otherwise. So it is with the spiritual gift God has given to you as His born-again child. It is like giving you a tool box full of tools. You just need to know what you have so you can use them properly. This teaching will help you with that! That is why I worked hard and got this teaching done up from our good friends at TruthOrTradition. We need all of us 'Walking in Power' to overcome this great 'Obama plague of Change'! Visit the teaching here: Walking In Power http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/walkingpower.html -<>- >Another Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press! I decided to go digging deep into my emails and found an old treasure from our good friend Kim. This one is for all our friends who share their care and talent to help us in time of need and defend and guard our country. It is a tribute truck to their honor! Heroes Truck http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/herotruck.html --- ...Totally awesome! Thanks {{{KIM}}} :) *~* Be Sure To Pass These on and Share This! THANK YOU! ============================================================ >-->From TheFunnybone: A Lawyer And Charity A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called the lawyer to persuade him to contribute: "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" $ ,$$$$$, The lawyer mulled this over for a moment ,$$$'$`$$$ and replied: "First, Did your research also $$$ $ ` show that my mother is dying after a long '$$$,$ illness, and has medical bills that are '$$$$, several times her annual income?" '$$$$, $ $$$, Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, , $ $$$ "Um... No." $$$,$.$$$' '$$$$$' The lawyer continued: "Or that my jgs $ brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" $ The stricken United Way rep began ,$$$$$, to stammer out an apology. ,$$$'$`$$$ $$$ $ ` The lawyer interrupted her apology, '$$$,$ saying: "Or that my sister's husband died '$$$$, in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice '$$$$, rising in indignation, "Leaving her $ $$$, penniless with three children?!" , $ $$$ $$$,$.$$$' The humiliated United Way rep, completely '$$$$$' beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." jgs $ On a roll, the lawyer cut her off once again: "...So, if I didn't give any money to them, why should I give any money to you?!?" ================================================================= +--------------- Bizarre Sporting Failures ---------------+ Wallace Williams ran in the 1979 Pan-American Games marathon, but was so slow that by the time he reached the stadium it was locked and everyone had left. To fight the heat in the 1950 Tour de France, Abd-El Kader Zaag drank a bottle of wine and promptly fell off his bike. After sleeping it off by the side of the road, he got back on and rode off - in the wrong direction. Russian athlete Ivanon Vyacheslav was so excited to win a medal at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics that he threw the medal high into the air in jubilation. Unfortunately it landed in Lake Wendouree where, despite a frantic search, it remains to this day. Preparing for a bout at the 1992 New York Golden Gloves Championships, boxer Daniel Caruso psyched himself up by pounding his gloves into his face. In doing so, he broke his nose and was declared unfit to box. After beating 1,000 rivals in a 500-mile race, Percy the racing pigeon flopped down exhausted in his Sheffield loft and was promptly eaten by a cat. ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) A Memory Game: You have to click on the empty circles in ascending numerical order, after they are flashed at you. Check your age It was too nice to me. It estimated my age at 26. This will drive you nuts. The site instructions are in Japanese, so read below! 1. Touch 'start' 2. Wait for - 3, 2, 1. 3. Memorize the number's position on the screen, then click the circle from the smallest number to the biggest number. 4. At the end of game, computer will tell you the age of your brain. 5. Forward the message and type your age in the subject line. Forward it to your friends! GOOD LUCK!! http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html --- ...Sounds like a good fun one! Thanks Sandi! -<>- >New Lyrics to 60's Hits Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include . . . Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash. Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker . Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends. The Bee Gees -- - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face. Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver. The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom. Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair. Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping. The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone. Abba--- Denture Queen. Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall. Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To. And Last but NOT least . . . Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again. --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Sandi! The sad thing is, I recognize every one of these songs [Sighs] ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatH :) YOUR BIRTHDAY CLOCK....FUN FOR EVERYONE... _ _ |_| /| |_)|_)\_/ | | /-| | | / _ _ ___ _ |_) | |_) | |_|| \ /| \_/ |_) | | \ | | ||_/ /-| / It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on this earth and when you were probably conceived. How cool is that? This is cool. After you've finished reading the info, click again, and see what the moon looked like the night you were born. This is neat. Who says our time clocks aren't ticking....the people that think these things up have way too much time on their hands. Enjoy and have a fantastic day!!! Birthday Calculator http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp --- ...Wow! Thanks PatH! Everything you ever wanted and didn't want to know about your birth date! ======================================================= >-->In The WorldlyNews: /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ `-. Pepsi \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH >From AFA - Pepsi goes gay Pepsi TV ad pushing gay lifestyle Pepsi is now using its TV spots to promote the gay lifestyle. AFA asked Pepsi to remain neutral in the culture war. Pepsi refused. The company said it will continue major financial support of homosexual organizations seeking to legalize homosexual marriage. Pepsi gave $500,000 to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the largest and most powerful gay lobbying group in America. The company also gave $500,000 to Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). The total gift of $1,000,000 to the two homosexual activist groups was to help promote the gay lifestyle in the workplace. After Pepsi gave their money to HRC, HRC gave $2.3 million to oppose California’s Prop 8, an initiative which defined marriage as being between one man and one woman. Pepsi also forces its employees to attend sexual orientation and gender identity diversity training, where they are taught to accept homosexuality. Take Action! Visit here for more: http://www.boycottpepsico.com/ This boycott has nothing to do with whether or not Pepsi hires homosexuals, or if homosexuals purchase Pepsi products, or how Pepsi treats its homosexual employees. This boycott is about the fact that, as a corporation, Pepsi is promoting the gay lifestyle. --- ...Yeah, and using OUR money we have to pay for their over priced products to do it!! Crazy! -<>- /:""| .@@@@@, |: 66|_ @@@@@@@@, C _) aa`@@@@@@ \ ._| (_ ?@@@@ ) / =' @@@@" /`\\ \(``` || |Y| //`\ ."~~~~~". || |#| / | || | .:. | || |#| \ | || A | /6 6\ | || |#| / | || |~|_|_\ e /_|_ .@@@@, :| |=: / | |\ |_|)___`"`___(8 aa`@@@, ||_|,| | |_| \ |~~~~~~~~~| = `@@@ \)))|| | ((( | \_________/ )_/`@' |~~~`-`~~~| `~\~~~~~~| |/ /_\ \| / || @ | | `\ / ()/___\() | || @ |_________| ( || ||~~~~~|| /~|| "` |_________| | || || || /__W_\ | || | || || || ||| |_||__ __|_|| ||_____|| _||| jgs (____)) (:;:;)) ||-----|| ((___) >From Liberty Counsel: Obama is not Lincoln Please Sign Liberty Counsel's petition opposing Obama's radical abortion agenda. Over 30,000 friends have already signed! Because we want to make the largest impact possible, I have instructed my staff to deliver the petitions to the White House as soon as we reach the 50,000 mark. I want to send these petitions before the end of the month, but that depends on friends like you taking up this cause. Please forward this message right now and ask your pro-life friends to join you in signing our petition opposing Obama's radical abortion agenda by going here: http://www.libertyaction.org/r.asp?u=15787&PID=19430414 No, Barack Obama is not Abraham Lincoln... but he could be remembered for championing a great, persecuted minority that currently has NO legal rights -- America's unborn. Please help me send this message to President Obama as soon as possible by alerting your friends. Mathew Staver, Founder and Chairman Liberty Counsel -<>- >From BizarreNews: _____ ___/ \___ `-._) (_,-` \O _ O/ \ - / `-( Space alien initiative || _||_ on hold |-..-| |/. \| |\__/| ._|//\\|_, `-(( ))-' __\\//__ gnv >_ /\ _<, ' ' DENVER - A Denver man said he has temporarily shelved his plans for a ballot initiative to create a commission to deal with extraterrestrial beings visiting Earth. Jeff Peckman, who proposed the creation of an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission in Denver, said he will be in "wait-and- see mode" for the next few months while he observes the administration of President Barack Obama, the Rocky Mountain News reported Thursday. "It's on hold for now because of the confidence that I feel and a lot of people feel in the Obama administration in moving toward more disclosure of the UFO/extraterrestrial information," Peckman said. "But I would say I'm only 51 percent confident, so I'm not abandoning the ballot initiative." 8c __/~\__ (((\_/))) Man pulled knife over chicken _) (_ cgmm FORT PIERCE, Fla. - Police in Florida said a man was arrested after he allegedly pulled a knife on his brother during an argument about chicken wings. Investigators said Calvin Edwards, 48, of Fort Pierce was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and battery after the alleged Tuesday incident, TCPalm.com reported. The arrest affidavit quotes Edwards' brother as saying he and his sibling were "scuffling over chicken wings when Calvin pulled a small pocket knife and threatened to cut him." The brother, who said he was injured when Edwards scratched him on the wrist, said he backed down from the confront- ation and called police. Police said they have not found the knife. No 'Q'? / |..| ? ? c >| ? -- No 'Y' Either!!! \'/ /><\ unknown -- Court rules 'Q' unacceptable as boy's name ------ OSTERSUND, Sweden - The letter Q may identify James Bond and "Star Trek" characters, but it may not be used as a boy's name, a Swedish administrative appeals court ruled. The unidentified couple said that their son responds to the name and that no matter what official records say, everyone knows him as Q, the Lanstidningen newspaper reported. However, the Kammarratten appeals court, like the Lansratten administrative court before it, rejected the argument. The lower court had ruled the name failed to satisfy basic linguistic requirements. The higher court said Q is a letter of the alphabet not typically used as a first name, so it should not be allowed. It cited "relevant case law" that holds that letters are not considered appropriate for names if the letters aren't already considered a name. ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _ (=> HaaHaHa _c==] ~ \ |_ TTTT ___________O+-/x\_ __| || |_____________________ My cell phone quit as I tried to let my wife know that I was caught in freeway gridlock and would be late for our anniversary dinner. I wrote a message on my laptop asking other motorists to call her, printed it on a portable ink- jet and taped it to my rear windshield. When I finally arrived home, my wife gave me the longest kiss ever. "I really think you love me," she said. "At least 70 people called and told me so." -<>- Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I should go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!" -<>- A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their con- versation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer. -<>- As Seen In the Charleston (SC) City Paper's Blotter. "Last Wednesday night police stopped a young man who had fled on foot from a late-model red Camaro parked running in the middle of the intersection of Fishburne and Hagood streets. When police took him to retrieve the car, the young man said the car belonged to his uncle. When asked for his uncle's name, he replied, 'I don't know, whatever name he gave you.'" --Wanda Meador -<>- One day a gentleman walked into one of Ben Franklin's book stores. As one of the clerks went to assist him, the gentleman asked the clerk the price of the book he wished to purchase. The young clerk looked at the price posted on the book and said, "That book is one dollar, sir." The gentleman began to haggle with the clerk over the price. The clerk assured him that the correct price for the book was one dollar and no lower. As the man realized that his efforts to haggle with the clerk were going nowhere, he insisted on speaking with Ben Franklin directly. Franklin stopped his work, walked out to the storefront and the gentleman asked, "What is the price of this book?" Franklin answered, "One dollar and a quarter." The gentleman was confused and replied, "Your clerk just said it was a dollar." Franklin looked at the book again and answered, "Yes, it was a dollar. But now you're wasting my time." -<>- b | _, _______ ,_:D|_|_/\, ______________!!!!_____ miK For the first few months of her co-op job for the state of Georgia, my sister had nothing to do, so she surfed the Web or did crossword puzzles. One day she expressed her boredom to a co-worker. "I know," she complained. "Everyone thinks state workers have it easy. But there's only so much you can pretend you're doing." -<>- My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille. -<>- The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!" -<>- A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed, "This is Mr. Magillicutty. I need you to bury my wife." "Mr. Magillicutty? Sidney Magillicutty?" "Yes, that's right." "Didn't I bury your wife 10 years ago?" the undertaker asked. "I got married again," the man sobbed. "Oh," replied the undertaker. "Congratulations." -<>- ,--. ,--. ( O ) ( O ) `--' \ `--' \ _ >-. / /| `-.__.' Krogg >KEYS TO SUCCESS: Voice Mail Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want you to DO work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during the lunch hour. That way, you're regarded as hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that they will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last message. I took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand. ============================================================== >-->From AndyChaps: _____ / \/_ //\__(\_\ |\ ^ ^ | .//_O \O_ \ \_ (_) / \ \_/ / __/\ /\__ / \ \ / / \ / \/\/\/ \ / | . | \ / | . | \ JRO Quotes on CHARACTER A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses. Proverbs 27:19 The purity of silver and gold can be tested in a crucible, but a man is tested by his reaction to men's praise. Proverbs 27:21 It's what you do when you have nothing to do that reveals what you are. Have character - don't be one! Your character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots are withered. Carve your name on hearts and not on marble. Character is much easier kept than recovered. How a man plays the game shows something of his character. How he loses shows all of it. You are what you are when no one is around. Life for some people is to sow wild oats during the week and then go to church Sunday and pray for a crop failure. Ability will enable a man to get to the top, but it takes character to keep him there. -<>- >Visiting My Shrink A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Trans Am. Another night I dreamed I was an Alpha Romeo. Last night I dreamed I was a Porche. What does this mean?" "Relax," says the doctor, "You're just having an auto-body experience. -<>- >Working For Family My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said she wasn't in yet and offered to take a message. The caller said she'd phone back later. At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that Marina had gone to lunch. The last call came in at 3:30 p.m. "I'm sorry," I said, "she's left for the day. May I take a message?" "Yes," the caller replied. "How can I get a job with you?" -<>- __ ) `"""";._/} | ' / \ | jgs '--. .-.\ ****** Regional idiosyncrasies ****** >You're from the West Coast when... ** --You make over $250,000 and still can'tt afford to buy your own house. --The high school quarterback calls a tiime-out to answer his cell phone. --The fastest part of your commute is gooing down your driveway. --You know how to eat an artichoke. --You drive to your neighborhood block pparty. ================================ >You're from New York when... --You say "the city" and expect everyonee to know you mean Manhattan. --You have never been to the Statue of LLiberty or the Empire State Building. --You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. --You think Central Park is 'nature.' --You've even worn out a car horn. --You think eye contact is an act of agggression. ================================= >You're from Alaska when... --You only have four spices: salt, peppeer, ketchup and Tabasco. --Halloween costumes fit over parkas. --You have more than one recipe for moosse. --Sexy lingerie is anything flannel withh less than eight buttons. --The four seasons are: almost winter, wwinter, still winter, and construction. ================================= >You're from the South when... --You get a movie and bait in the same sstore. --"Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" iss plural. --After a year you still hear, "You ain''t from 'round here, are ya?" ================================= >You're from Colorado when... --You carry your $3,000 mountain bike attop your $500 car. --You tell your husband to pick up Granoola on his way home and he stops at the day care. --A pass does not involve a football or dating. --The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail. --Your bridal registry is at REI. =============================== >You're from the Midwest when... --You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. --Your idea of a traffic jam is ten carss waiting to pass a tractor. --You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. --You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with." --Your first job was detasseling. --When asked how your trip was to any exxotic place, you say, "It was different." -<>- _ _ .-. | | | |M|_|A|N| |A|a|.|.|<\ |T|r| | | \\ |H|t|M|Z| \\ "Bookshelf" by | |!| | | \> David S. Issel """""""""""""""""" >The Worst Library Book Ever Bubba stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, Sir?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" "What was wrong with it?" "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book." -<>- `. ---)..( ||||(,o) ptr "`'" \__/ >The BIGGEST Lie A preacher was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog." Of course, the preacher was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog." -<>- >TRAGEDY Defined (Political Humor) President Barack Obama is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the classes (4th grade I believe). They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So our illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy." "No," says Obama , "that would be an accident." A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Clinton searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Barack Obama, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy. "Fantastic," exclaims Obama , "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" ____ .-'& '-. / \ : o o ; ( (_ ) : ; \ __ / `-._____.-' /`"""`\ / , \ /|/\/\/\ _\ (_|/\/\/\\__) |_______| __)_ |_ (__ jgs (_____|_____) "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss." -<>- >Be Careful Of Your Accusations Betty, the town gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the town's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several local residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. However, she made a mistake when she recently accused Ted, a local man, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar one afternoon. Ted, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away without saying a word. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night. -<>- >Look What I Found , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages. "Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!!!!!" -<>- .;. | = | ''|'' | | :F_P: /|\ >How To Become A Band Director A band director was having a lot of trouble with one of his drummers. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but performance didn't improve. Finally, in front of the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, give him two sticks, and make him a drummer." A whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor." -<>- >The Bad Drummer As a nightclub owner, I hired a pianist and a drummer to entertain my customers. After several performances, I discovered that the drummer had walked away with some of my valuables. I notified police, who arrested him. Desperate for another drummer, I called a friend who knew some musicians. "What happened to the drummer you had?" he asked me. "I had him arrested," I replied. We said good-bye and hung up. A few minutes later my friend called back and asked, "How badly did he play?" -<>- >Short Takes "We've begun to long for the pitter patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet." --Rita Rudner ================= "You know your children have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and don't want to tell you where they are going." --Unknown ================= "I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on." --Clean Laffs reader. ================= "I think I deserve a raise," the man said to his boss. "You know...there are three other companies after me." "Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?" "Well...the electric company, the phone company, and the gas company." -<>- _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| .----. / ( > | /| '--. ( ) ._ / || ]| `-. ) _/-.__.'`\ || ]| ::| ( .-'`-. \__ ) || ]| ::| `/ `-./ `. || ]| ::| _ | \ \ \ \| ]| .-' / \| \ \ \ \ L.__ .--'( | |\ `. / / \ ,---|_ \---------, | `\'. '. /`\ \/ .--._|=- |_ /| | \ '. '._ './`\/ .-' '. / | | | `'. `;-:-;`)| |-./ | | /_ `'--./_ ` )/'-------------')/) | \ | `""""----"`\//`""`/,===..'`````````/ ( | | | / `---` `===' / ) | / \ / / ( | | '------. |'--------------------'| ) | \ `-| | / | `--...,______| | ( | | | | | ) ,| | | | | ( /|| | | | | )/ `" / \ | | (/ jgs .' /I\ '.| | /) .-'_.'/ \'. | | / ``` `"""` `| .-------------------.|| `"` `"` >TOP 25 SAYINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS ** ~ Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. ** ~ Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. ** ~ Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings... they did it by killing all those who opposed them. ** ~ We put the "k" in "kwality." ** ~ Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. ** ~ A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. ** ~ If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the situation. ** ~ If at first you don't succeed, try management. ** ~ Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. ** ~ Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself. ** ~ The beatings will continue until morale improves. ** ~ We waste time, so you don't have to. ** ~ Hang in there--retirement is only thirty years away! ** ~ Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker. ** ~ A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all. ** ~ When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. ** ~ Indecision is the key to flexibility. ** ~ Succeed in spite of management. ** ~ Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment. ** ~ We waste more time by 9:30 in the morning than other companies do all day. ** ~ You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you. ** ~ Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore. ================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Cost Of A Child http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/costofchild.html Ice Sculpture Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ices.html Miracle Fawn http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rupert.html Things You Never Noticed http://tinyurl.com/cf8tea Test Your Geography Knowledge http://www.lizardpoint.com/fun/geoquiz/ Aled Lewis Illustrations http://www.aledlewis.com/illustration.html -<>- >From TheMouth: MR. KNOW-IT-ALL GUIDE TO SIGNS http://www.octanecreative.com/knowitall/index.html JIGZONE http://www.jigzone.com/ -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Melva/Talking Dogs http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/G_L.html God's Splendor http://www.carolspoetry.com/07jan/4.html carolyn w/ Always On My Mind ~Elvis http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/alwaysonmymind.html Different Time http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/differenttime.htm Trash Shadow Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shadowart.html Italian Police Motorcycle Drill Team http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsaaj.htm PD Budget http://www.buffaloschips.com/gaaah.htm Great tequila Commercials http://www.buffaloschips.com/gaajs.htm It Looked Like A Parking Space http://www.buffaloschips.com/gssjak.htm Kind So Flunky http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsjskla.htm *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+ Toon Links Can I Call You Back http://buffalosjokes.com/20702.htm Cute? http://buffalosjokes.com/12546.htm Phone http://www.buffalosjokes.com/20701.htm Breathing http://buffalosjokes.com/20708.htm Aging http://buffalosjokes.com/20707.htm Age http://buffalosjokes.com/20706.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." --Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers." --Doug Larson "Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." --Bob Ettinger "The difference between involvement and commitment is like a ham and egg breakfast. The chicken was involved, but the pig was committed!" "I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know." -Mel Brooks "When you go to court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty." -Norm Crosby "Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding, he sings." - Ed Gardner "A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." -Friedrich Nietzsche "Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." --Plato (427-347 B.C.) >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************