One Good Turn & More .. :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News: o oo o o o ___o o o /`._;o o | / o ;_ | `-' jg If you are like me, you have been spending time shopping, wrapping, cooking and baking for this Christmas. My Mom used to be the one to always cook the Christmas fudge and give each of us kids a nice container of her delicious chocolate/peanut butter fudge. Hers was a recipe from her mom. Some of you may know the type. The old soft ball stage fudge. I could never get this right, but my mom was a whiz at it. When making the fudge got to be too difficult a chore for her, I got blessed with a recipe for the same type of fudge that was as good as mom's but easy to make! It even fooled my mom into thinking it was her recipe! It however is EASY. No soft ball stage to worry about. I became the fudge maker of the family passing the tradition down from generation to generation - I guess - adding a modern touch to it. I've since shared this with all who love fudge but want an easy way to make their own instead of paying the high store price for it. You'll find the recipe here under Easy FUDGE... EASY Chocolate/Peanut Butter FUDGE http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html ALSO check out the other Christmas Desserts - Lots of yummy recipes for you to enjoy for many Christmas's to come! -<>- If you haven't already, Be sure to check out these pages too: ___|_____ \ | \ | \ | `.___|_ __[) God's Paintings `. (| _ \ \_/(/ \_\ \ \___/ \_\_/ _________|_ /|\ / | \ ejm http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gpaints.html Salvation Mountain http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/salvation.html Humor In Religion http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion.html Who Is Jesus? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/whoisjesus.html A Walk With Jesus http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/walk.html ...Please Be Sure To PASS These Links On - THANK YOU!! :) ============================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Camping On Big Moose Mountain Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband,who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. So, she got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout. Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out. They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event -hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he ` ) would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said (' he would. ( ) //` About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, // "I can' make the supper. I can't light a fire with // the matches you brought." // // Sally replied, "I can't understand that. // Those matches should be perfectly fine. // I tested them all just before we left." // jgs =============================================================== +----------------- Bizarre Newspaper Ads ------------------+ __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| Bizarre Newspaper Ads |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. ================================================================ >-->From PetWarmers: _._ _,-'""`-._ (,-.`._,'( |\`-/| `-.-' \ )-`( , o o) -bf- `- \`_`"'- >KITTEN FOUND SWIMMING THREE MILES OFF SHORE ST. PETERSBURG, Florida, July 9 -- When Maggie Rogers spotted something bobbing in the water three miles into the Gulf of Mexico while on a scalloping trip with friends, she assumed it was a turtle, or a piece of sea kelp. But as the boat got closer and slowed down, she found it was a tiny, apricot-colored kitten. Nine inches long and screaming at the top of its lungs, the cat was paddling furiously. "We scooped him up and he sat on the boat with me for eight hours," said Rogers, who is the finance director at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium. "He was exhausted and stressed," Rogers said. "His heart rate was high." The boaters on the 17-foot Scout Current Drift did not know how the kitten arrived in the Homosassa Bay. There were at least 40 boats in the crowded area where he was found, they said. On Tuesday, three days after he was found, a veterinarian found the 10-week-old, 1-pound kitten had worms, but was otherwise healthy. He was adopted by Rogers' sister-in-law, and named Nemo. (copyright 2004, South Florida Sun-Sentinel) ===================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" -<>- ___.--------'``````:``````'--------.___ ( | : | ) \ ,;,,, : | / |\%%%%\___________:__________/~~~~~/| / ,\%%%%\ | / @*@ /, \ /_ / ````` | ~~~~~~ \ _\ (@l) | (@l) ||__________________|__________________|| ||_____________________________________|| /_|_____________________________________|_\ ldb Two young women went into a furniture store and asked to be directed to the sofa department. The salesman who greeted them was a chauvinistic good ol' boy who knew that his chances of making a sale were always much better when dealing with a married couple. Still, he reluctantly began showing them the sofas, settees and love seats. "What we're really looking for is an upholstered footstool that's long and wide," one woman admitted. "Oh, I might have known," responded the salesman, "but I don't think either of you are going to be able to find anything like that. I've always felt a woman can't get a long width ottoman." -<>- Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin. One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel. Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it on. "What are you doing?" I asked. ______ /( )\ \ \ / / \/[]\/ "Well" he replied, /\ | | | | | | | | | | \ / ejm \/ "if you are going to be formal. So am I." -<>- A friend was lecturing in Latin America. He was going to use a translator, but to identify with his audience, he wanted to begin his talk by saying in Spanish, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." He arrived at the auditorium a little early and realized he did not know the Spanish words for ladies and gentlemen. Being rather resourceful, he went to the part of the building where the restrooms were, looked at the signs on the two doors, and memorized those two words. When the audience arrived and he was introduced, he stood up and said in Spanish, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." The audience was shocked. He didn't know whether he had offended them or perhaps they hadn't heard him or under- stood him. So he decided to repeat it. Again in Spanish he said, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." One person in the audience began to snicker. Pretty soon the entire audience was laughing. Finally, someone told him that he had said, "Good evening, bathrooms and broom closets!" =============================================================== >-->Top Ten Signs Santa Is Mad At You HO ho /| Ho m\ _x/, | / \,-L `..'`..'/_,\/_/'_| = `-=.`--.-\,-' | .| .-| /-||/-|| | \ | \ | -bf- 10. "Got you Knicks season tickets" 9. "Pounds glass of milk and then your wife" 8. "Rudolph left you a gift on your roof" 7. "Your only gifts this year: Bits of old food he found on his beard" 6. "Instead of 'Merry Christmas', he tells you, "suck it'" 5. "Someone had 'keyed' the side of your car with a candy cane" 4. "He see you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake, and posts photos online of you in the tub" 3. "He sends his drunk brother Ronnie Kringle" 2. "You're the idiot who told the New York transit workers to go on strike" 1. "Instead of 'naughty' or 'nice', you're listed as 'a$$hole'" [From the Late Show with David Letterman] ============================================================= >-->From SermondFodder: HO! HO! HO! , , , (/ (/ (/ \@/ ._,--'\) ,--'\) ,--'\) Signs of Christmas ]Xxx/ /|"/> /|"/> /|"/> -Seal Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas." Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club." At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd." A Texas jeweler store: "Diamond tiaras -- $70,000. Three for $200,000. A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas." In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything... a calendar to remind him when payments are due." === + * + + + `.!.' * + + -=x=- + .'!`. * + + ! * + + + + + * + * + ,-. * //"\\ + * + * // \\ * // = \\ + w w w + + //___o O \\ \O O O ||\_/|\|\ || + |\ `|\ '|\ _ ___||_Y_| \_\||_________|_\_|_\__|_\ >Christmas is peak season for sales of children's Bible storybooks. By CATHY LYNN GROSSMAN, USA TODAY Dec. 11, 2007 The lavishly illustrated collections vary from literal booklets that don't hesitate to lay down the line against sin, to imaginative variations such as one where a butterfly hovers by Christ at the Crucifixion. In the popular VeggieTales Bible Storybook, characters including Bob the Cucumber and Larry the Tomato play out practical applications of Bible lessons with their other produce pals. Each collection reflects the spiritual outlook of the parents and grandparents who do the writing -- and the shopping, says Brenda Lugannani, head of merchandising for Family Christian Stores, the nation's largest Christian retail chain at 310 stores nationwide. And every Bible storybook reflects a certain theology, says Ted Olsen, managing editor of Christianity Today. He and his wife, Alexis, searched carefully for the one they read to their 18-month- old son, Leif. "Most Bible stories are told like Aesop's fables, refitted to a moral lesson that is almost always, 'Obey! Obey your parents! Obey God! Oh, look how good Noah is -- he obeyed God!' " Olsen says. "Sure, we want Leif to understand obedience, repentance and forgiveness. But we're more concerned that he get to know Jesus is the grand arc of the Bible story. We're like a lot of young parents who don't want to be talked down to. We're not afraid of encountering theology. We want to be intellectually and spiritually engaged when we read to Leif." Their choice is one of the newest collections, The Jesus Storybook Bible:Every Story Whispers His Name. Author Sally Lloyd-Jones presents Bible stories back to Adam and Eve as foreshadowing the coming of Jesus Christ -- the way many Christians read the Bible as adults. Lloyd-Jones says her writing is shaped by "a strong Sunday school memory of the Bible as all about rules and coloring in the lines. There was no sense of the joy, freedom and wonder of the Bible story. "Yes, there are rules in the Bible to show us how life works best. But rules don't change your heart. Stories change you. I'm in the business of telling stories." The Bible by the Kids' Books Her book is highly popular, Lugannani says, but some parents turn away from it "because they think such symbolic language is confusing to young children." "It's all part of the decision: Do they want a Bible storybook that's literally true to the text or are they willing to accept that a vegetable illustrates Moses or a butterfly appears in the Gospel?" The butterfly is featured in one of Roberta Simpson's Nana's Bible Stories. It's another hot seller this season for publisher Thomas Nelson, where Bible stories are almost one-third of the children's books offered, says Troy Johnson, head of marketing. Simpson tells stories "the way I told stories to my children and grandchildren." Indeed, she has woven their names and ideas into the collection. Granddaughter Alexandra rebuffed an offer to be written in as "Queen Esther's best friend" because the 6-year-old said, " 'No, I want to be a butterfly at the Crucifixion.' I always listen to kids' crazy ideas," says Simpson, who has the endangered butterfly saved by the blood of Christ. That innovative approach doesn't fly with the Rev. Paul McCain, publisher for Concordia Publishing House, established in 1869 by the deeply conservative Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, a 2.5-million- member denomination. "The more seriously a church body regards the Bible, the more seriously they will present it, in a child-friendly way, but not water the content. We don't throw the King James Bible at them, but we don't turn it into Mother Goose, either. We don't avoid the s- word, for sin; the G-word, for God; or the J-word, for Jesus," McCain says. Concordia has compilations such as A Child's Garden of Bible Stories that have sold steadily since 1948 and a 40-year-old series of 105 pamphlets known as the Arch books. They feature scores of stories, from the Nativity to obscure stories such as Zerubbabel Rebuilds the Temple, from Ezra 3:6. "I grew up on these books," says McCain, 45. "We update the illustrations regularly, but we're much less prone to waffle with the culture. We don't make the Bible what it's not. But the booklets are a neat way to inculcate Bible literacy." Binding the Bible into children's lives is crucial, says Alicia Mey, head of marketing for publisher Zonderkidz, which starts its lineup with a fake-fur-covered babies' board book, Tiny Bear's Bible. Mey says the company knows from surveys by Barna Research that 43% of Christians say they became Christians before they were 13 years old. "So we have a passion for helping them to read and understand the Bible." >From http://abcnews.go.com/ ==================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz >From Our Friend Dan :) Dan, You might want to forward to all of the guys that there is a Combat Medic Association. Also the Docs can get shirts and hats with the CMB embroidered on them at CafePress.com. They are quite impressive and one should be proud to wear it. Happy Holidays! Mike 'Doc' Lane Please forward, Dan ! -<>- >From LifeScript: The Science Behind Sugar Substitutes Nothing is wrong with cutting down on your sugar intake. In our efforts to shed pounds, many of us reach for sugar substitutes instead. But are they safe and will they really help us control our weight? Read More: http://www.lifescript.com/HA/25528_4238409_5178_0.htm -<>- >From BizarreNews: __ __ __ _|__|_ _|__|_ _|__|_ (*-) (*-) (*-) --( * )-- --( * )-- --( * )-- ( * ) ( * ) ( * ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -- Teacher takes Guns N' Roses song as threat ------ ROCKY HILL, Conn. - A teacher at a Connecticut school summoned state police when she heard what turned out to be a Guns N' Roses record coming from the public address system. The teacher at the Booth Free School in Rocky Hill took the words "You're in the jungle, baby; you're going to die" from the song "Welcome to the Jungle" as a threat, WFSB-TV in Rocky Hill reported. Troopers used police dogs to search the school and found and detained three teenagers. Once police were convinced that the teens, one of them a custodian at the school, were just having some fun with the PA system the three were released. Booth Free School is a public elementary school in an affluent part of Connecticut between New Haven and Hartford. -- L.A. considers toll for car pool lanes ---------- LOS ANGELES - A proposal is on the table to convert the carpool lanes of three popular Los Angeles County free- ways into toll roads with higher fares during rush hour. Charging commuters for a faster way to work is part of a plan by the Metropolitan Transit Agency and Caltrans to institute "congestion pricing" in Los Angeles, the Los Angeles Times reported Friday. The concept gained steam in November when the U.S. Department of Transportation indicated it would give out more grants to fund such projects. "I think it's a horrible direction to go and I think it's immoral to sell the diamond lanes," Mid-City resident Charles Tarlow told the Times. "I also think it is outrageous that the feds take the position that they'll give us millions of dollars for lanes that exclude people who can't afford to pay." The earliest Los Angeles commuters might see toll lanes is 2009. -- Bad move: Man steals cops' meal tip ------------ CINCINNATI - An Ohio man reportedly stole from the wrong guys: two city police officers. Vincent Balough of Over- the-Rhine allegedly stole a $12 tip two Cincinnati police officers left Wednesday night after eating dinner at Cadillac Ranch, The Cincinnati Enquirer reported. Balough, 46, was caught and arrested. He was charged with theft and obstructing official business, the newspaper reported. -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: ... /*"*\ Don't kick the baby... ; : | o o | |__.__|lka |"--.. .__:.____/__. w____ ___ 3 | | / \ Wacky warning labels win prizes A U.S. product warning label on a small tractor intoning "Danger: Avoid Death" has won an annual wacky warning label contest. The contest, now in its 11th year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch to support its contention that litigation has turned basic common sense into warnings on consumer products. Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, Mich., won the group's $500 grand prize for his submission, the watchdog group announced Thursday. The $250 second-place award will be split by Carrianne, Jacob and Robby Turin of Greensburg, Pa., for a label they found on an iron-on T-shirt transfer that says: "Do not iron while wearing shirt," the Novi, Mich., group said. The $100 third-place prize went to Richard Goodnow of Lancaster, Mass., for a label on a baby-stroller featuring a small storage pouch that warns, "Do not put child in bag." .---------------------_._---------------------------------------. | d888b . * | | . * _ ?888P_ . | | ,-~~-'-/_~~~\.`-~:8o. * | | ,' .:8bv' .:88. . | | / .:88 .:8b . . . | | . / .:8P .:8b | | ,' .:8P\ .:88. Merry Christmas | | ,=' .:88 \ __:88g_ | | -._ .:8| | _..-~,~ ~;' and * | | ~o..__ .:8| | _-~ ?8b_ _.-' | | ~~ ~~--.:88 /:___...(888) Happy New Year | | * `^' . | | _ _ . _______________________ . | | _(\)(/)_____/\_`_\ \/_______________\ | | |`.)XX(=====/ /,---\*\----------------\ _ Seal _ | | |||`()_\____\// \ / \ \`. \ . | | `| | Y \___\ \________________\ * | | `|_________\ / / / / | | . \/___/_/________________/ . | -----------------------------------------------------------------' Billboard urges 'Merry Christmas' greeting Five women in Youngstown, Ohio, have purchased billboard space for a message about saying "Merry Christmas" that purports to be from Jesus himself. The prayer group said it raised enough money for four billboards urging residents to resist the trend of saying "Happy Holidays" instead of a more specific message about the Christian holiday, WEWS-TV in Cleveland reported. "I miss hearing you saying Merry Christmas," the billboard message says. It's signed, "Jesus." The women said they have enough donated money left over to begin planning a billboard campaign for next Christmas. Record-breaking kazoo attempt due in Fla. Famed kazoo musician Barbara Stewart is set to lead a group of outgoing people in Florida in an attempt to break the world record for the largest kazoo band. Stewart said that if she and her fellow kazoo enthusiasts are unable to break the Guinness World Record of 2,679 kazoo players at one time, the beauty associated with the simple instrument will still be a feast for the ears, The Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Wednesday. "It has been said that the kazoo is to music what the full-body cast is to ballet," Stewart said. "But in the hands of an expert, it's at its best." The record-breaking attempt will take place Sunday in the Florida retirement community, The Villages, where another unusual world record was overcome just last year. The Sentinel said that local residents gathered together 3,321 golf carts for that accomplishment, which ended up being the largest recorded golf cart parade in the history of the world. Better control your horse in Norway An 85-year-old Norwegian man learned the hard way this year that one should control your horse while riding or face some serious consequences. Aftenposten said Wednesday that not only did the unidentified man become involved in an accident with a car while horse riding, but he received a reckless driving citation that later escalated into a costly legal battle. The entire situation began in June when the unnamed horse rider allegedly caused a traffic accident involving a motorist and her car, which was damaged in the incident. That led to a fine from local officials, a measure that the elderly man would not accept and eventually led him into court. Yet the court recently ruled that the man would have to pay a fine of nearly $1,300 for his actions, along with thousands more in court and automobile repair costs. The Norwegian newspaper said that in his recent verdict, magistrate Jahn Mydland said the man remained oblivious to his responsibilities no matter his transportation method. "He has not shown any understanding that he, too -- even if driving a horse -- must show consideration for others on the road," Mydland said. ============================================================== >-->From The Jokester: __ _ __ | \__ `\O/ `-- {} \} {/ \ \_(~)/______/=____/=____/=* \=======/ //\\ >\/> || \> ----`---`--- `` `` ```` `` `` snd >Santa Claus: An Engineers Perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. -<**>- >Christmas Toy , ,--, \ _ ___/ /\| ( )__, ) l/_ '--, \ ` / ' A grandfather bought a hobby horse by mail order as a Christmas present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour. However, it took the old man two days to assemble the toy. Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it off to the company. ======================================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap." -<>- Q. Is a purring cat purring with contentment? A. Not always, but usually. It can mean a cat is in terrible pain, such as is felt during childbirth but if your cat is purring while you are gently petting and holding it then most likely it is a sign of contentment. ============================================================ >-->Fractured Christmas Carols ,(()). ,;;;;. __ ________ _____ ___ ((_ _));'_`'_( _| __ __ __ _| _| _| __ __ () \ /)\ ) / (_|__ _|-_| _(_|(_|(_|__ _|-- ((\ O(() \ O / _____(_|(_|_____________(_|_ SSt No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites: DECK THE HALLS: Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly... WE THREE KINGS: We three kings of porridge and tar.. Good tidings we bring to you and your kid. THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS: On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me.. WINTER WONDERLAND: Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire. In the meadow we can build a snowman. Then pretend that he is sparse and brown. SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN: He's makin' a list, chicken and rice... THE FIRST NOEL: Noel. Noel. Barney's the king of Israel. With the jelly toast proclaim... RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER: Olive, the other reindeer... You'll go down in listerine! FROSTY THE SNOWMAN: Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say... SILENT NIGHT: Sleep in heavenly peas... JINGLE BELLS: Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay... OH COME ALL YE FAITHFUL: Come, froggy faithful... ================================================================= >-->From PetWarmers: ONE GOOD TURN... by James Colasanti, Jr. / \__ /^ ^\ ( @\___ / 0 0 \ / O V\ Y /V / (_____/ / - \ /_____/ U / | from V__) || Ruth Ginsberg The fisherwoman heard the car doors slam above her on the bridge that traversed the river in which she was fishing. Intent on making her daily catch, she paid little attention to the noise above her until her dog, wading in the waters next to her, looked up and growled ominously. The noonday sun silhouetted the bridge railing. The fisherwoman could see the outline of a man with two burlap sacks heaving them over the railing toward the stream below. The sacks plummeted at an alarming speed, each bag twisting and contorting as something alive fought for escape. Whatever these creatures were, they were in trouble. The fisherwoman headed for the bag within her reach and commanded her dog to "fetch" the other one. After reaching the shore, she slashed the ropes binding the bags with her pocket knife, freeing the unwilling occupants. Out jumped a tan Boxer-Pit Bull mix from the first bag, her nursing nipples almost dragging the ground. Her three tan puppies came out of the second bag. The mother dog gathered her pups together, licking them and making sure they were all okay. Her eyes met those of the fisherwoman. The dog jumped up on her -- one paw on each of the woman's shoulders -- and licked her profusely about the face. It was the dog's way of expressing her gratitude for her life and the lives of her puppies. "Why, aren't you the sweetest thing alive?" the woman exclaimed amidst the bath she was getting from the dog's raspy tongue. "I think I'll call you, Sweetie." The woman toweled the mother dog and the pups, then everyone piled into the truck for the long ride home. Because of an already overflowing household, the fisherwoman could not keep Sweetie and her pups. She contacted the Animal Rescue and Foster Program to see if anyone could foster the dogs until they could get a permanent home. Sweetie came to live with us because no one wanted an adult dog with "pit bull" in the mix. Her puppies were all adopted out to good homes. At her new home with us, Sweetie joined the pack -- approximately 30 dogs and no cat (at that time) and she fit right in. Many months later, Sweetie would repay the kindness shown to her by the fisherwoman, and she would pay it forward to us. The rain that fell that night would not stop. The drops hit the tin roof echoing throughout the house's interior like the sound of popcorn popping in the microwave. Yet, even with the sound of nature's turmoil outside, I remained sound asleep inside. Unbeknownst to us, raccoons had entered our basement wrecking havoc on the downstairs facility and turning the sump pump over on its side, rendering it inoperable. Ever so slowly, the basement began to fill with water. Inching its way up, each drop seeped in through the aged walls. Our gas water-heater, on a platform in the corner, was surrounded on all sides by the incoming flood. As the rain continued throughout the night, the water level continued to rise, finally extinguishing the pilot light on the heater. Surreptitiously, the gas bubbled through the water and filled the entire basement, eventually rising through the vents to enter the main level of the house. Sweetie, alert to the storm -- disliking both the thunder and the lightning -- now smelled a new nemesis. As the gas permeated the bedroom, grogginess and delirium engulfed the bed like a noxious cloud. Sensing the imminent danger, Sweetie started jumping up and down on the bed and barking loudly at the unseen killer. Still, I was slow to respond. As the odor of rotten eggs became stronger, I quickly got up and realized what was happening. We got all of the dogs and ourselves out of the house and onto the covered porch and called the gas company for assistance. Sweetie had repaid the fisherwoman's kindness by, in turn, saving us. I believe in miracles in the world and I believe everyone needs that conviction in their lives. And as proof, at the foot of the bed, Sweetie lies in the bundled woolen blanket. Her head is cocked, listening to the sounds of the night -- her fur stiffening at any intrusive sound. Her soft brown eyes twinkle in the glow of the greenish night lights, holding a secret that only she and Heaven know. And as you may have guessed, Sweetie isn't telling! -- James Colasanti, Jr ___________________________________________ James is a former veterinary technician and now a lead clerk with Barnes & Noble Booksellers. He shares his home with his housemate, Sam, and 25 dogs, and an orange Tomcat named Pumpkin. A past president of the Animal Rescue & Foster Program of Greensboro, NC., he continues his support of various rescue organizations including the Doris Day Animal League. ====================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) >From The MouthPiece: DRAW ME SOMETHING In the spirit of Pictionary, at drawmesomething.com you are given a random object to draw. Although nobody has to try and guess what your artwork represents, you can still have fun perfecting your drawing! 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