Paddy, Vinegar And Mexican Jews - Oh My!... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ _____ ,-:` \;',`'-, .'-;_,; ':-;_,'. /; '/ , _`.-\ | '`. (` /` ` \`| |:. `\`-. \_ / | Earth Day in the USA | ( `, .`\ ;'| \ | .' `-'/ `. ;/ .' jgs `'-._____.-'` *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo .'| () .-' | / .-} /.-} | .-} / |_| ( |_|-.| |_|/\ (_), \(_) (_) / | \X\ | \\ | \/ |\_/\\_ |\_/ |\_\ |:| \/ |:| \:\ |:| |:| |\:| j|:| |:| ||:| ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first flaming hot new page comes from our friend Linda. If you love virtual travel then this one is for you. A most interesting place! Be sure to check out the video's here too: \` / | | \ '| | | | | | | |.| | | | | jgs \\ /.\ //_/__ ',\_//__\\ [ \_/__/_ Shilin Stone Forest http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stoneforest.html --- ...Wowsers! I'm in awe! Thanks Linda! This next red hot new page is from our friends Bunni and Deci. This one is sure to give you plenty of ideas for any old tires you might have laying around or may have in the future. You'll love the artistic beauty and down to earth ideas presented here: ..-------------------.__ .'_______ `-. // .-----.\.--------..--------.\ ||' __'|| || || || __ ||' .=(_ )|| ====== || ==.| ||( _) ||'| \\||________||________||// ||'------\) ,--======\\======-._/ ____|| |/ = = `-. _____________ ||'==. || ...... = = `-. `=============`|| ||_ /////.--. = = `. .--. | .---. || | .----|==| \ \ \ \|==| | .' `. || | .' '--'. |-. | | .-|'--'`. .' \ || .' `. |-.'-|=|-'.-| \ / .-==-. \|| / _.----. \ |-.'-|=|-'.-| | | .' .---. `. ||| .-' .---. `. | |-.'-|=|-'.-| | | / .`.- -.`. \ '\_`---- / .`.- -.`. \ | ' '-|=|-' '_____/ [|_|/ / _ \ \|__________| / / _ \ \ `_____.......-----'_____] ; : / \ : ;'----------'; : / \ : ;[_____.......-----'; : : ; \_/ ; : \ / / ; : \_/ ; : \ \ / / \ \ / /. `- -` . \ \ / / LGB . `- -` . . `- -` . `-----` . `- -` . `-----` `-----` `-----` Recycling Ideas 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/recycling3.html --- ...So many great ones! Thanks my friends! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- Delivering a speech at a banquet on the night of his arrival in a large city, a visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day. Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he asked the on-location reporter to omit them from any accounts he might turn in to his newspaper. The reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece with, "The minister told a number of stories that cannot be published." -<>- "Darn!" the man said to his friend while weighing himself at the local drug store scale, "I started on a new diet but the scale says I'm heavier than I was before." Turning to his friend, he said, "Here, hold my jacket." The scale still indicated that he had not lost any weight. "OK," he said to his friend. "Hold my Twinkies." -<>- Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ March 20 is International Earth Day, Extraterrestrial Abductions Day and Proposal Day March 21 is Credit Card Reduction Day, Fragrance Day, National Agriculture Day and Tea for Two Tuesday March 22 is National Goof Off Day March 23 is Melba Toast Day, National Chip and Dip Day, National Puppy Day and Near Miss Day March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day March 25 is Pecan Day and Waffle Day March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and National Spinach Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _ /_`\ )"/ ) (`(,( ./_.') _.`-;-'\ .'/ /___/ .' / / // __/_.' |(\`\ --jgs''-- /'_.]--''- _\| `-| ---''''---....--' `"""' `"" ` >Retirement I was enjoying the second week of my retirement the same way I had enjoyed the first week: by doing as little as possible. I ignored my wife's not-so-subtle hints about completing certain jobs around the house, but I didn't realize how much this bothered her until the clothes dryer refused to work, the iron shorted and the sewing machine motor burned out in the middle of a seam. The final straw came when she plugged in the vacuum cleaner and nothing happened. She looked so stricken that I had to offer some consolation. "That's okay, honey," I said. "You still have me." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "Yes," she wailed, "but you don't work either!" -<>- >Cruise A man was telling his friend about the cruise he had taken. He said that the cabin on the ship was nice, but the washing machine on the wall was terrible. "That was a porthole," his friend explained to him. "I see," said the man. "No wonder I never got my clothes back." -<>- >Social Skills Our catering manager lacks certain social skills ... like knowing when to keep her mouth shut. While discussing a baby christening party with a young couple, she told the mother, "You look like you've lost most of your pregnancy weight." "Thanks," came the clenched-teeth reply. "We adopted." -<>- >Job Application I was applying for a job and the employment application clearly stated: "Age of Father (if living)" and the same question for my Mother. I put down the figures 119 and 117 in the spaces provided. The interviewer asked if my parents were truly that old. I replied, "No, but they would be if they were still living." -<>- Bumpy Landing As a nervous flyer, I was concerned when the plane bumped down three times before coming to a stop in Calgary for a short stopover. I was seated at the back of the plane, and heard one flight attendant say to another, "Wow! That was a bad landing!" Imagine my horror when the other flight attendant replied, "Not for him, it wasn't" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) sSSSSSs SS;; SSSS S< ?SSS S> SSS ___)(____ ( \/ ) \||, )( ( / ( \\/ /\ / \ \ \./ )==( / / / \//' ( '|\` \ / \ / ) ( / \ jgs / \ / \ `-........-' / ) / ) /_/|/_/| >SMILES He was in the living room opening the mail, and he got to the package of his repaired cell phone. He unwrapped it and dialed his wife's number, to see if it would work, right out of the box. She answered from the kitchen, and he said, "Hi there." She responded, "Hi, Sweetie. Let me call you back later; my husband's in the other room." -------- %%%%%% %%%\__/% %%%%"""% %%c ^\^% %\ _=/ . _.'_( .:: .'`\ `._ _ _..;:::' / '._ .' \ =/ (=(:]::;:::. \__./__.``_/_/ / / ';::;:. / / ) / \ \/ / '::. / /.'`-._( \ / '. / /' `\ `` /.( \ \_(`";-..___ \ |=*==||``` \ || \ || ) )) / || \ || )_|| jgs( \\\ Y\__\\ Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him. -------- Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide." -------- A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30 PM. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed naked into the bedroom -- only to find her husband, sitting up in bed, reading. "Darn woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose EVERYTHING?" -------- "Hey, Domino's. I got your pizza and there ain't any toppings... no nothin'...it's like only just bread!" "Please give us your phone number and street address." "Oh, wait, Never mind...I opened the box upside down!" ------- The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?" One child was ready with the answer, "They don't have a good union!" -------- We are now retired and on a fixed income and cutting back, so I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center. The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer, and I'm saving $49.50 a month! -------- Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way 'Take a clean dish and....'" -------- On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself. "How romantic!" she thought. Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess. Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway. "Almost ready!” he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long but I had to refill the pepper shaker." "Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?" "More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin; it through those dumb little holes." -------- After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and, as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident so I prayed... "Lord, it's up to You, if You want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking space for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so Good! ------- _________________________ |\ _____________________ /| | |_____________________| | |/_______________________\| /=========================\ '===========================' | ~~ _|_ ~~ | | | | |_________________________|lc There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything. Shortly before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife." So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him. Well, a few days later he died. At his funeral, he was stretched out in the casket, His wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket." She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian. I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put all of his money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?" "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my bank account, and then wrote him a check for the total amount." --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->Tips From Our Friend Linda :) _____ `.___,' (___) < > ) ( /`-.\ / \ / _ _\ :,' `-.' `: | | : ; \ / `.___.' SSt >20 Incredibly Helpful Things You Can Do With Vinegar! White distilled and apple cider vinegar are all you need to effectively clean and tidy your home! Vinegar is known as an effective household cleanser that can be used to remove mold, bacteria and germs due to its high level of acidity. Using vinegar is a great way to avoid the use of harmful chemicals, to be more friendly to the environment and is entirely more economical than store-bought cleaning products. Here are some great tips on how to use vinegar around the house. Try out some of these solutions and vinegar will never just be a salad dressing again! For Appliances 1. Clean mineral deposits from steam irons Fill up the iron's water tank with white vinegar and turn the setting to steam. Steam-iron a used rag to clean out the steam ports and then refill the tank with water. Finish by thoroughly rinsing out the inside of the iron to remove the smell of vinegar. 2. Remove soap scum and mold from the washing machine Once a month, add 1 cup white vinegar to the washing machine and run it on a hot cycle without any clothes. 3. Clean rust from tools and bolts Soak the rusted tool in white vinegar overnight, and when you wake up in the morning, the rust will have disappeared! 4. Keep the garbage disposal smelling fresh and clean Mix one cup of vinegar with water and fill up an ice cube tray. Freeze the mixture overnight, then put the cubes in the garbage disposal and grind them up. Flush down the ground cubes with cold water to finish. In the Kitchen 5. Remove stubborn stains from cups and pots Fill up the stained cups and pots with vinegar overnight, then rinse with hot soapy water in the morning. 6. Prevent misty spots on glassware Place a cup of white vinegar in the bottom of the dishwasher and run it for 5 minutes, and then for a full cycle. You can add a cup of white vinegar through an entire cycle once a month to reduce soap scum. 7. Eliminate odors in used jars Clean out the peanut butter or mayonnaise jars with white vinegar to remove any odor. For Fabrics 8. Prevent lint from clinging to clothes in the dryer Add one cup of vinegar to each wash load. We promise that you will get used to the smell! 9. Deodorize a wool sweater Wash the sweater regularly, then rinse it in equal parts vinegar and water to remove the odor. 10. Remove sweat stains from clothes We all have at least one shirt with dreaded sweat stains on it. Apply a mixture of one part white vinegar and four parts water and then rise in washing machine. 11. Prevent colors from fading Soak the article in white vinegar for 10 minutes before putting it in the washing machine. 12. Remove pet urine from carpets Blot up the urine and flush it a few times with lukewarm water. Then apply a mixture of equal parts vinegar and cold water, blot it up again, rinse it with water and then let it dry. For the Garden 13. Grow perfect azaleas It is good to water the plants occasionally with two tablespoons of white vinegar and one quart water. Azaleas love the acidic soil. 14. Kill off weeds Kill of weeds in the garden by pouring vinegar on them. Soon they will disappear! In the Bathroom 15. Clean soap scum, mildew and grime Wipe the surface of a bathtub, tiles or a shower curtain with white vinegar and then rinse it with water. 16. Unclog the shower head Begin by unscrewing the shower head and removing the rubber washer. Place the show head in a pot filled with equal parts vinegar and water. Bring the contents to a boil and let simmer for 5 minutes. The shower head will come out clean and shiny as new. All Over the House 17. Wash walls Remove stains and odors from white walls by wiping them down with a vinegar-water mixture. 18. Prolong the life of flowers in a vase Add two tablespoons of white vinegar and three tablespoons of sugar to a quart of warm water. Water the flowers so their stems are in three to four inches of water. 19. Repel ants Fill a spray bottle or mister with equal parts water and vinegar and spray it around the door jambs, window sills, water pipes and foundation cracks. In the Car 20. Prevent ice from forming on the windshield overnight Coat the window with a solution of three parts vinegar to one part water and the ice just won't form! --- ...Excellent tips! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) // __ ww_ ___./// W._`\._ o__ `._.-''''' // |/ \ `-._._._.-// |/ \ , / // _ \ `.__.' _// \ ``,,,' _// `v'\_`-. \--' _ `-. \--' .'`. .^.`.. \_/_/ <'\-_// \_/_/ `.,' .' `. '` // \\ `-.-' \\\\ '`_'` -'` -'` '' AsH ,,','` AsH ' ` >THE CHICKEN There was a chicken what sat on a nest She clucked and clucked and all the rest For hours and days and weeks this went on The days came, the days went, the sun was gone Then one day she heard a peep, peep, peep She thought it was a far away horn going beep, beep, beep But lo and behold she felt a tiny kick And when she looked down it was a tiny chick What will I name her, thoughts through her head ran I know, I know, I will call her Biddy Ann The mama chicken was very, very proud This pretty little chick is my daughter she said real loud Frances Booth (aka: Carol Clarke) Grama's Book - 1980's --- ...TeeHee! Such a cute one! Thanks Fran! ============================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: BREAKING: Whoa! What Trump Just Did For Flint Michigan Will FLOOR YOU! The Media Will NEVER Report This! http://tinyurl.com/kogdzkx 'Bad Dog!': Huckabee Slams Rapper Bow Wow for Tweet Targeting Melania Trump http://tinyurl.com/lo8a9jk The New York Times: "To South Carolina District, Trump’s Tough Budget Is a Promise Kept" - Read More http://tinyurl.com/khbh4rf President Trump Leads a Listening Session on Veterans' Affairs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c5PbF7wt3Q Watch President Donald J. Trump's Weekly Address to the Nation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMoL-fZK64A -<>- >From BizarreNews: So often in Bizarre News we cover naked drunks, stupid criminals and perverted exhibitionists, that every so often it's nice to cover an unusual story that has a positive conclusion for a change. Stephen Parker of Sugar City, Idaho, was working on his Toyota Prius, when the car jack slipped and the 6,000 pound car fell on top of him. Only his 8-year-old son J.T. was outside to witness the accident. Stephen managed to tell his son to lift the car jack before he passed out. The little boy, who weighs just 50 pounds, repeatedly jumped up and down on the handle of to lift it. After 15 minutes, he managed to lift the car enough for his father to be freed. He then ran to find his older brother who called for help while attending to his father. Stephen was airlifted to the hospital. He survived despite suffering 13 broken ribs. The day after the incident, his family asked J.T. to lift the car jack again, but as hard as he tried, he was unable to do so. Now, J.T. was honored by the Red Cross for his heroic act that saved his father's life. -<>- Every man has a limit beyond which it's dangerous to push him. For the British man in today's story, that limit was destroying his doll collection. 30-year-old Rickie La-Touche was found guilty of strangling his wife, who he said had damaged his extensive collection of Star Wars toys. He met his wife in a bar while on vacation in Bangkok in 2001. They became involved and eventually married on his fourth visit to Thailand in 2003. But La-Touche told a court that 28-year-old Pornpilai Srisroy had made his life hell. He claimed that Srisroy had previously hit him with with a pool cue, and had threatened to kill him while he was asleep and "cut him up and eat him." She also threatened to leave him and return to her native Thailand, in La Touche's account. Then, one fateful morning last year, La-Touche showed up at his mother's house in an agitated state. When his mother asked him what was wrong, he replied he had "killed her". He told the court his wife had damaged most of his collection of Star Wars memorabilia, which he had built up since he was a child and was worth thousands of pounds. "She's put me through it before," he said. "I couldn't let that happen again. I then just remember getting up from on top of her." La-Touche denied murder but pleaded guilty to manslaughter. He was sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole after 12 years. *----------- Dude, Where's My Cooler? -----------* Police in Washington state said a cooler donated to a Goodwill store turned out to contain something far more valuable -- $24,000 worth of marijuana. Monroe police said workers at the local Goodwill were sorting through donations during the weekend when they came across the cooler. "This cooler was donated over the weekend to the Goodwill. Employees surprised when they opened the lid," police tweeted. The cooler was found to contain multiple baggies containing a total 3.75 pounds of marijuana, which police estimated had a $24,000 street value. Police are investigating and the Goodwill store is checking surveillance footage to try to identify the person who donated the cooler. *--- Piano Found to Have Hidden Stash of Gold ---* A British inquest is being held to determine the rightful owners of a stash of gold coins found inside an antique piano during restoration efforts. The Shrewsbury Coroner's Court heard a repair worker hired by the instrument's new owners discovered someone had previously stashed an undisclosed number of gold coins inside the upright piano -- coins that date between 1847 and 1915. The hoard was initially brought to the attention of Peter Reavill, who serves as finds liaison officer for the British Museum's Portable Antiquities Scheme at Shropshire Museums. Reavill did not reveal the worth of the coins, but he told the BBC they represent "the potential of yielding a life-changing sum of money." Experts said the gold could become the property of the crown under the Treasure Act if the rightful owners are not identified. *---Is That 10 Lbs of Coke in Your Pants or Are You Just Glad to See Me?---* A man who arrived in New York from a trip to the Dominican Republic was found to be sporting some unusual underwear - 10 pounds of cocaine. U.S. Customs and Border Protection said Juan Carlos Galan Luperon, a U.S. citizen, was wearing pants that "appeared to be rather snug" and was showing signs of nervousness when he arrived at John F. Kennedy International Airport following a trip to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. Luperon was taken to a private search room where officers found about 10 pounds of cocaine duct taped around both of his legs. The cocaine was valued at more than $164,000. "This seizure is another example of our CBP officers being ever vigilant in protecting the United States from the distribution of these illicit drugs," said Leon Hayward, acting director of CBP's New York Field Operations. Luperon was arrested and turned over to Homeland Security Investigations to face narcotics smuggling charges. *--- He Was Hoping to Make a 'Clean' Getaway ---* Authorities in Oregon said a man who stole a street sweeper led police on a 10-mile chase that reached speeds of up to 65 mph. Hillsboro police and the Washington County Sheriff's Office said a private contractor was using the street sweeper to clean a Winco parking lot about 3:45 a.m. Sunday and got out of the vehicle to use a handheld leaf blower. Investigators said a suspect, later identified as Tyler Haugewood, 33, jumped into the street sweeper, which still had its engine running, and sped away. Hillsboro police pursued the street sweeper in a 10-mile chase that reached speeds of 65 mph before the vehicle was stopped by spike strips laid out by sheriff's deputies. Haugewood was arrested and charged with vehicle theft, reckless driving, attempting to elude, unlawful entry of a vehicle, unauthorized use of a vehicle, and a parole violation. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) | | | _ | | <_> | | | | | `-._ | |`-._| | | _________________________________|____ `-._ `-._ | `-._ `-._ | kat `-._ `-._ >Redskins finally drop offensive name I knew it would finally happen in an Obama PC world . . . Neil Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping “Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word 'Washington' imparts a negative image of poor congressional leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football! -<>- >Old Age Wisdom A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. “This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.” The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. “Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?” “A lousy quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, mister. We quit!” And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days. -<>- ._-'-_ . . ' /_-_-_\ ` . .' |-_-_-_-| `. ejm ( `.-_-_-.' ) !`. .'! ! ` . . ' ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! / / \ \ _-| \___ ___/ /-_ (_ )__\_)\(_/__( _) ))))\X\ (((( \/ \/ >Mexican Jews Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day. Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico?" Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter." When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks." He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says, "No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews." Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?" The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies, "I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen. While the waiter is away, Sid says, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere." The waiter returns and says, "Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews." "Are you absolutely certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!" "Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter. "All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Apple Jews, but No Mexican Jews." -<>- >Wedding Anniversary A guy comes into work and announces, “Today is my wedding anniversary.” "Congratulations!" say all his co-workers. “Five wonderful years, yes five really terrific years!” "I thought you were married for longer than that?" quizzed Joe. “Oh well, I'm just counting the good years, You know, five out of 30 ain’t bad.” he retorted. -<>- >At my age... I love this! I was lying around the other day, pondering the problems of the world, and I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's patootie anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the good eyesight to tell the difference! -<>- >Researchers Find... Older people do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets filled up, so too, do humans take longer to access information, it has been suggested. Researchers say this slowing down it is not the same as cognitive decline. “The human brain works slower in old age,” said Dr. Michael Ramscar, “but only because we have stored more information over time “The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.” ----------------- SO THERE! We’re Brilliant! -<>- _____ /`.---.`\ / /.---.\ \ ; |/ e e \| ; ; \| ^ |/ | | \_=_/ | |.-"` `"-.| / `'-...-'` \ | | | , | \ './|\.' / ;._(/:\)_.; || : : || || ; : || || : : || || '.' || || + || || || || || |'-.___.-'| | | '-.__ __.-' jgs (_/`\_) >Baseball And Nuns THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A YANKEE BASEBALL GAME. THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND THEM. BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW, THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS, HOPING THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA. IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, "I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH. THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE." THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID LOUDLY, "I WANT TO MOVE TO MONTANA. THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE." THE THIRD GUY YELLED, "I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO. THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE." THE MOTHER SUPERIOR TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE 3 MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL...THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE." --- ...HaHa! Love em! Thanks Geniann! ============================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _._ .' '. | / //\\\ \ | ( ( -\- ) ) | '-\_=_/-' // .-'\ /'-. (|/ / '-' \ / / | \__ __/_/\/ /| | |\ / \ / \ \ \ '-' `\/\ ; |/|\ | | | | | | | |_______| | | | \ | / jgs /=|=\ (_/T\_) During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room. Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self- restraint, meekness, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't need if you had stayed single." -<>- For the first few months of her co-op job for the state of Georgia, my sister had nothing to do, so she surfed the Web or did crossword puzzles. One day she expressed her boredom to a co-worker. "I know," she complained. "Everyone thinks state workers have it easy. But there's only so much you can pretend you're doing." -<>- At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine's disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt. A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person, whereas a good dog would lick his owner's face or show concern. Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out this theory on my two dogs. I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a scream and collapsed on the floor. The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other and raced to the coffee table for my pizza. -<>- "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" I asked my friend. "He wants to be a garbage man," he replied. "That's an unusual ambition to have at such a young age." "Not really. He thinks that garbage men work only on Tuesdays." -<>- __.------. (__ ___ ) .)e )\ / /_.------ _/_ _/ __.' / ' `-.__ / <.--' `\ / \ \c | / / ) GoT x \ | /\ |c / \.- \ \__/ ) /( ( \ <>'\ / _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<> / /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`. \/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\ / `. / ) `\ \ \ \___/----' | / `( ___________ \ ./\_ _ \ ______________ / | ) '| __________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f / | |____.) / \ a88a\___/88888a. \_ :)8888888888888888888a. /` `-----' `Y88888888888888888 \____| `88888888888P' A supposedly true story out of San Francisco (but who knows): A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch & wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. -<>- A young man applied for a job at a new factory being built in a nearby town. He entered the main office, where the receptionist directed him down the hall to an office where he was to be interviewed by the Personnel Officer. After several minutes of describing and explaining all about the new factory, the Personnel Officer told the young man, "We need individuals who are totally responsible." The young man grinned and responded: "Well, I sure qualify. Everywhere I've worked, when something went wrong, I was always responsible!" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: _________-----, /\ / /\ / /____/ _\ \ / _o//__ _ | \ /_______ / / _ \ / | | \/ |____| \/|, .''''' |\/ \)) */* D -((/ / _ )| \_7 ( |( / |_____| |_____| \ \____ - ____/ \. % .| | ' | | , | \ ( ( >The Top Reasons to Go to Work Naked [Courtesy of topfive.com] * Your boss is always yelling "I wanna see your arse in here by 8:00!" * Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. * Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources. * "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." * To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse. * You want to see if it's like the dream. * So that -- with a little help from Muzak -- you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume. * Splattering grease from deep fryer is really hard to get out of your uniform. * People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them. * Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned. * Keeps that snooty Ruth Bader-Ginsberg on her toes. * Because the Bill Clinton insists when Hillary's out of town. -<>- .-=. ___ . .-;-%%i:-%%, ==. / /,.-.;--:/ _, '"-\j / \ \==== ,%% i | %. ,;"""t_____ |__,|". i%%. \+ `'"f`','%| |;" .-`.__.O-< "`; `%+ (_,+--'"\_)%/ `.%% %" ._%/ __+.,-. ' %. ,( j-"". `. ,%%| .'-;`. ) )-' "" :. ( [ `-'`-' . ,.%%i `-\.__ ..-" ""`] t. " ..%%f \, .""; >. ,-. ,_% ,' i t/ f:% ( `' t ,' j Garfield `.. `. \; %+.--. ,--.._ `. `.t, % -=%% j , "`-| ) +"\. -=%/ (( f t "t" ) J..-" \_\ ,.__.\. ).-" "" "-" LS >Ways to Know you're Cheap! You attend a weekly coupon club. You've been driving on the spare tire for over three months. Fast food is your idea of fine dining. You spend more time counting change during a single week than you spend at church. You're outraged when the price of a can of soda goes up a nickel. You haven't purchased a name brand product in the past ten years. You take the pennies from the container next to the cash register. Your family gets presents a week after Christmas because you love that fifty-percent discount. Matinee. Every time. Ramen flavors correspond to days of the week in your home. -<>- ____ .--"~~" ~"\___ Y ] ~~"\ l `v.,_ _/' ] \ | 7~~" /' \ | / /~"------"~ __.} l_/-^-<-. .--"~ Y I Y / l oj-<______ Y _ ~---~ ( ^ Y l |~t-.__( // \.__.^ \ | | ~\ _.^ "-._ | | "---"~ Y |-^----------..,__ . | |--.,__ --.,__ ~"-. \\ | l l "~--.,_ ~--. \ \\ _____ | \ \___, "-._ / \>-"~ ~"-.--j ~----/ "--" / ,--. Y _Y_ / ( ) ___ |_ -Row ,-~ " "--" " ~-< ~-. / Y \ \ / / . l Y )Y / l /-.____l !\, ) ! / / Y / /"--" / \__/' \ / /_K-~ `\__K-"\__.-" ^.__K-" His name is Odie ->Odie<- He is a dog He's known to fall over When he's on the grog >Defining Different Heights [Edited] ** Height of Isolation: Two people sitting side by side using cell phones to communicate with each other. ** Height of Cowardice: Two persons fighting through text messages or on-line. ** Height of Helplessness: Receiving no e-mails or text messages for a week. ** Height of Frustration: The internet being down and/or no wifi. ** Height of Carelessness: Writing a love e-mail and doing a 'Send To all' using Bcc ** Height of Achievement: A person sending a text to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply. ** Height of Timepass: A person sending email to himself. ** Height of Expectation: Sending Indian cricket team a text, wishing them to win a match. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Mabel The Chicken!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chicken.html Cat Owner Tips!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catowners.html Kid Lessons!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidlessons.html Baby's Firsts!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyfirsts.html God Is Like...!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/godislike.html Notes To God!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cnotes.html Mini Baby Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/baby.html Making A Baby!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/makeababy.html Small Thoughts!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smallthoughts.html Fun Science Ads!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/science.html Pucker Up, Baby!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babypucker.html Price Of Children!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/child.html Kids Being Kids 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids2.html Porcelain Doll Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/porcelaindoll.html Amazing Cop Cars 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/copcars2.html Real Drug Raid!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/drugraid.html Did You See That 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seethat2.html Parenting No-No's 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting3.html Freaky Art Vans!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/artvan.html Amazing Human Progress!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanprogress.html -<>- >Please Follow Me On StumbleUpon Here: http://tinyurl.com/kbqlyn9 -<>- On March 23rd, the Satanic Temple in Georgia will go after the Cobb County School District, to ask why Still Elementary School has not yet accepted their "After School Satan Clubs." Sign petition; encourage Cobb County School District to stand strong http://tinyurl.com/kyco3kv -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us one we have here... Nap Time! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/naptime.html --- ...Very Sweet! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) You must watch to the end to see the amazing landing of that last kite. And make sure your volume is turned up because the music totally reflects the soaring of the kites - Romancing The Wind http://www.youtube.com/watch_p opup?v=nr9KrqN_lIg --- ...Stunning! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Fran :) Ohio Boy’s $20 Gift to Soldier Multiplies http://nethugs.com/heartwarming/ohio-boys-gift-to-soldier/ --- ...Wonderful! Thanks Fran! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) The famous Piano Guys play another beloved carol. This time it's a very moving rendition of "O Come, Emmanuel" shot on a movie set that looks just like Old Jerusalem! https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iO7ySn-Swwc Shooting the video was no easy task for Joe Capra, since the only ways of entry into Greenland are via plane, helicopter, snowmobile or dogsled. The freezing Icelandic winds made shooting even more of a challenge, but fortunately, everything came out just perfect! I hope you enjoy this incredible time lapse of the aurora borealis. - Two Lands - Greenland | Iceland https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UNg9gQsck1c --- ...Wow! Mesmerizing! Thanks LouiseAu! I'm sure some sort of punishment is coming for this mischievous 5-year-old, but right now her mom is simply overcome with the cuteness of the situation - and I was, too! She let the cow in the house - a big no-no - and then she lied about it - a bigger no-no! But you've got to see what happens next - it's adorable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=M5H7uMq3mS8 --- ...Awww, so adorably cute! Thanks LouiseAu! You will be shocked at the number of different ways the driver of this silver BMW manages to screw up backing out of her parking spot. What's worse is that the guy in the green shirt tried to help her before realizing she backed right into his car. She drove away without saying a word about it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYcsW48HHXM&feature=player_embedded --- ...Oh My Goodness! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Everyone's OK, but over the weekend off the coast of Florida, a Carnival Cruise ship almost hit two jet skiers. Today, the captain of the ship apologized and said, 'I'll get them next time.'" -Conan O'Brien "College students are out of town for spring break. This is the time of year students take a well-deserved break from partying and drinking at school to go party and drink on a beach." -Jimmy Kimmel "Police in South Carolina charged a substitute teacher last week for allegedly being drunk while in class. Students realized she was drunk after she kept referring to lunch period as 'Miller time.'" -Seth Meyers "This weekend, we all moved our clocks ahead by one hour. In other words, that's our show, goodnight everybody!" -Conan O'Brien "Everyone is talking about the big snowstorm expected to hit New York. In fact, some are saying we could experience a whiteout. Things will even out on St. Patrick's Day when we all experience a blackout." -Jimmy Fallon "Taco Bell has announced that it is creating a hybrid of its Quesalupas and Doritos Locos Tacos, called the Doritos Quesalupa Crunch. Of course, if you can say that, you're probably not drunk enough to eat it. -Seth Meyers "This week, Wisconsin is hosting the U.S. Cheese Champion- ship. Once again, the winner is expected to be 'Heart Disease.'" -Conan O'Brien "According to a new study, cats may have more potential than dogs to sniff out bombs. They just won't bother to tell you." -Seth Meyers "The Centers for Disease Control reminds you, still the best way to avoid contracting an STD is to get really into Dungeons and Dragons in high school." -Jimmy Kimmel "The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it." -- Doris Day "I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home." -- Robert Orben "If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." -- Johnny Carson >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************