People I Call Friends... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Online since ... / ...eh... let ||||| me think .... ||O O|`____. |||\-/|| \ __\ |.--:--| . : /( ):( |_.-~~_. (~m : / | oo:| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some of you may have noticed that I am no longer on the social network site Meetme.com (used to be Yearbook.com). I had been on there since 2007. While on there earning their credits, I suddenly had to log back in. I thought this was odd and especially since it didn't recognize me any more. My normal log in did not work any more. At first I thought it was a problem with Meetme.com but I later found out through friends and family that my entire profile on there was gone. I phoned them and the recorded message said that they must be contacted through their email. I emailed them almost every day without any response. Perhaps if I were a premium PAYING Member they might actually care. It's been over a week now! My Profile is still not back up! I am wondering why I am promoting them on my web site when they cannot bother to take the time to fix this error! So I've removed their links from off my pages. If you were one of over 6000 of my friends on there, I am sorry, I did not delete myself, ignore you, or leave you on purpose. I ask myself, 'Why would anyone want to be a member on Meetme.com if their profile is just going to be deleted without any warning?' I spent years building it up, now after just seconds it is all gone. Vanished. I mainly miss my friends. As Bill O'Reilly would say - 'And That's A Memo.' -<>- >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This too hot to handle one is from our friend Geniann. It is sure to tickle your funny bone! Give it time to load and Check it out here... o o //@@ o @@ ^^ @@@ v @ _____ / \ / | |\____\ / ( X ) | | | | <___=\ | | | \======\ \|_"_| (____ Humorous Ads 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humorad2.html --- ...These newspaper items are hilarious! Thanks Geniann! This next hottie is from our friends Linda and Jo Ann. This one stunned me as I had no idea such places exit. God's got a great big universe but this little old planet earth still amazes and awes me! Check this out here... _________________________ (, ______________________ ) | | || | | @@@@ || @@@@ | | @@@@@@@ || @@@@@@@ | | @@ - - || - @@@@ | | @ c/ || '_ @@@ | | _@| |_ || __\@ \@ | | ( \ )/_\ /_ || _\\ (/ ) @\_/) | | \ \|) / \) || |(__/ / /| | | |\_/ ( -/ || \___/ ----/_| | | / \ || ,: '( | | : _/| || |: \ | | : | || |: ) | | : | || |: | | |_______'____,_|_______|| |_____,_| .---('________________________)--. | / ( |____ __________ _| | /\ ) |___| -o- | |__| -o- | ( \| / |___| -o- | |__| -o- | | /'=. b'ger|________| |__|______| '=>/ \ / \ /|/ ,___/| World's Largest Mirror! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/saltlake.html --- ...An awesome place! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Get Your Flu Shot Back in December I was in the pediatrician's office with my children (I tagged along because the doctor is also my barber). I had been seeing 'Get Your Flu Shot' signs everywhere, so I asked the doc to give me one, and he obliged. He told me that I might feel slight flu symptoms for a couple of weeks, but not to worry, they would not develop into anything serious. So for two weeks I felt like I had the beginnings of the flu with a scratchy throat, tight chest and slight fever. It never became the flu though…until today. My throat is killing me, I'm congested, my chest feels like I just swallowed a gallon of sea water and everything tastes like the flu. So I called my barber, I mean my doctor, and asked him why I got the flu. He said that ___________ it probably wasn't because of the shot he [___________] gave me, but, more likely due to the blood- {=========} letting he had performed in order to get rid .-' '-. of the evil spirits. / \ /_________________\ Ah, modern medicine. Thank God for NyQuil. | _ | ||\ | \// \| ||| | ,.------. ,.------. || \| / \_X\_/||_ | //:::\ \ //:::\ \ |_________________| jgs \\::::\ / \\::::\ / | | `'------' `'------' '-----------------' ================================================================ +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 14 is National Dress Up Your Pet Day January 15 is Hat Day January 16 is Hot and Spicy Food International Day and National Nothing Day January 17 is Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day January 18 is Winnie the Pooh Day January 19 is National Popcorn Day January 20 is National Buttercrunch Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: __,...__ _,-'::::::::`-. ,'::,----._::::::`. ,'::,' /\,-. \:::::::`. /::::| ; | |:::::::::`. |:::::`._ \ |:::::::::::\ __\,:--''--`_--':::::::::::::\ `'--::__:::::::`-:_:::::::::::::\ /--.`'--:_:::::`-::::::::::::\ /,-_.' _`-:_::::`:::::::::::\ / /o\| ,-_`-.`--:::`::::::::::) || \_/| / /o\\ `:,'''-:' (#__`-_/ | \_/| /##| ,-.\ ,'' `-. `.__/ ,'###| / || / \ , (##### / || | |___,-##\ /##/ \__,'/ \ /########) |#,'|__..-' `-..__..-'######) / \`.###'`""' / \\\__// ,' \`--' _,-' jrei `-..___..--'' >At the Buffet As I was treating my daughter and her family to the buffet at a casino, all the bells and whistles for a winning slot machine began to go off. My seven-year-old grandson was awed. "Wow!" he yelled. "This is like Chuck E. Cheese for old people." -<>- >Bridal Fair My husband and I attended a bridal fair trying to drum up work for his fledgling wedding photography business. One vendor assumed we were engaged and asked when the big day was. "Oh, we've been married ten years," I said. "Really?" she asked. "But you look so happy." -<>- >Elderly Driver I was sitting on my lawn sunning myself and reading when I was startled by a fairly late model car that crashed through my hedge and came to rest just in front of me. I helped the elderly driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair. I noted, "It's quite remarkable that you are still driving at your age." "Yes," she replied. "I"m old enough that I don't need a license any more." "How is that possible?" "The last time my doctor examined me, he asked if I had a driver's license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of a drawer, and as he cut the license into pieces he said, 'You won't be needing this any more.' So I thanked him and drove home." -<>- >Speedy Repair When I took my Weed Eater back to the home-and-garden store to get it fixed, I was asked if I wanted to wait until the job was done. "How long will it take?" I asked. The clerk answered, "A day or two." -<>- >Terrible Noise One day I called my mother from my apartment to make some plans with her. In the background behind her, I could hear a terrible noise, like a jet plane taking off. "Mother," I asked apprehensively, "what's that awful noise?" "It's the dishwasher," she replied. "Your father fixed it." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend KarenF :) _.---._ _.-~ ~-._ _.-~ ~-._ _.-~ ~---._ _.-~ ~\ .-~ _.; :-._ _.-~ ./ `-._~-._ _..__.-~ _.-~ / ~-._~-._ / .__..--~----._ \_____(_;-._\. _.-~_/ ~).. . \ /(_____ \`--...--~_.-~______..-+_______) .(_________/`--...--~/ _/nad /\ /-._ \_ (___./_..-~__.....__..-~./ `-._~-._ ~\--------~ .-~_..__.-~ _.-~ ~-._~-._ ~---------' / .__..--~ ~-._\. _.-~_/ \`--...--~_.-~ `--...--~ >MUSTARD I Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this). As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. 'Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich' She said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers... I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was not mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue. Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon.' When you stop laughing, pass it on. -<>- , `.-- .,-"" . ._,' . _,. `. , / .'.oo`.. `. `- .__.-' :: .; "-()-"`. \.-. / doida ; /'". ,"`'. "-- "-" .': : `----' "-" ' >CONSIDER THIS If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can get going without pep pills, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring Aches and pains, If you can eat the same food everyday And be grateful for it, If you can understand why your loved Ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can overlook it when those you love Take it out on you, through no fault of yours Something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame Without resentment, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without Medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, If you can honestly say that deep in your Heart you have no prejudice against Creed, color, religion, or politics, Then my friend... You are ALMOST as good as your dog! -<>- \\\\, / \\ '<' ) \- / _)_(_ .'\___/'. /.-.___.-.\ [_________] | | ( | , | (\/) ) _\)_ | -|- | <_@__> _(/_ || | | | (/\)(\/) || || | | (\/) <_@_> || || | | <_@_>'(/\) || || | | (/\|/|-. || || .---------. _|_|_ || ||_,-'---------'-,__ |WWWWW| ___jgs|_|____________________|_\_____/__ >SERMON Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the Front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies Cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN, BROTHER!"When the Preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, "PREACH IT, REVEREND!" And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to Their feet and screamed, "RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS... AMEN!" But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very Quiet. One turned to the other and said, "He's quit preaching and Now he's meddlin'." --- ...TeeHee! A good ones! Thanks KarenF! =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) __ / _,\ \_\ ,,,, _,_) # /) (= =)D__/ __/ // C/^__)/ _( ___// \_,/ -. '-._/,--' _\\_, / -//. \_ \_/ -,._ _ ) ) \/ / ) / / \-__,/ ( ( ( \.__,-)\_ )\_ / -( b'ger / -(//// //// >Lesson From The Monkey Pot By Michael Josephson of Character Counts (775.3) Many years ago a man came to a village in India to catch monkeys so he could sell them to zoos. The monkeys, however, were very clever and every sort of trap he set failed. A young boy watched the man's pathetic efforts and laughed. The man said, "If you can catch me a monkey I'll give you $2." (That was a huge amount of money then.) The boy went to his home and took a clay pot with a narrow neck. He placed a few nuts around the pot and put lots of nuts inside. He then tied the pot to a tree and he told the man, "We should have a monkey in a few hours. Let's wait in the village. The monkey will call us when he is ready." Sure enough, a band of monkeys soon discovered the nuts and the pot. One slipped his hand in the pot and grabbed a handful of nuts, but he couldn't pull his hand out of the narrow opening of the pot because his fist was clenched. The monkey panicked and started making loud noises. Some of the other monkeys tried unsuccessfully to pull the pot off his hand. The boy and the man heard the ruckus and the boy got a sack. As they approached the monkeys, they all ran away except the one with its hand in the pot. The boy grabbed the monkey and the pot. The man was amazed and asked the boy the secret of his monkey trap. "Why was it so easy for the monkey to get his hand in but so hard to get it out?" The boy laughed and said, "The monkey could have easily got his hand back out and escaped, but he would have had to let go of the nuts in the pot, and he just wasn't willing to let go. They never are." What lessons can be learned from this story? Do people sometimes trap themselves by holding onto things that they should let go? Do you? This story is often used to illustrate the power of greed. People get trapped by the trappings of success, by wealth, and by a limitless desire to acquire and hold onto material things--even when the things they hold do not give them what they want or need. But there are other dimensions to the story as well. Many people trap themselves by holding onto negative feelings--resentment, anger, and jealousy--that both lessen and limit their lives. Like the monkey who derives no pleasure or nourishment from the nuts he holds in his hand, we can derive nothing of value from these negative emotions. Many of us could improve our lives instantly by the simple act of letting go. It's so simple, yet so hard. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. (c) 2013 Josephson Institute of Ethics; --- ...aww, let God and Let God! Awesome Story! Thanks Johanna! -<>- _.-._ ..-.. _.-._ (_-.-_) /|'.'|\ (_'.'_) mrf.\-/. \)\-/(/ ,-.-. __/ /-. \__ __/ ' ' \__ __/'-'-'\__ ( (___/___) ) ( (_/-._\_) ) ( (_/ \_) ) '.Oo___oO.' '.Oo___oO.' '.Oo___oO.' see no evil hear no evil talk no evil >Female Humor *While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan ' An old Master Sergeant sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman? ' When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?' 'Yes,'! said the attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.'* 'My gosh,' he said, 'I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.' 'That's another thing, Sergeant,' said the crew member, 'We No Longer Call It The Cockpit'. 'It's The Box Office.' *_Quote of the day:_** 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of it.'* Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly, usually on a broomstick... We are flexible like that --- ...HaHa! Thanks Johanna! =========================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From Our Friend Bunni :) Only politicians could talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000 a plate campaign fund-raising event. --- ...Yes! The Irony of it all! Thanks Bunni! -<>- >From BizarreNews: They don't get a lot of jungle cats in Virginia, so perhaps it might be a little harsh to judge these Norfolk residents as complete morons, but it would be hard for anyone over the age of three to confuse a lion with a Labradoodle. But apparently Daniel Painter's dog, Charles the Monarch, so resembles the king of the jungle, police received a call about a baby lion on the loose. Police even called the Norfolk Zoo to make sure their two lions were in their cages, which they were. The dog's coif is, in fact, intended to look like the mascot of Old Dominion University. This wasn't Charles' first case of mistaken identity. Painter said police have told him several times people have reported seeing a lion when it was really his dog. He often tells people he's a "lab-a-lion." *-- Sick alligator found guarding pot stash --* CASTRO VALLEY, Calif. - Authorities in California said they discovered a "very sick" 5-foot alligator protecting 34 pounds of marijuana at a man's home. The Alameda County Sheriff's Office said deputies were conducting a "probation compliance" check at the Castro Valley home of Assif Mayr, 32, about 1:30 p.m. Wednesday and they discovered he was keeping 34 pounds of processed, dried marijuana in his bedroom, the San Francisco Chronicle reported Thursday. Investigators said the stash was being guarded by a 5-foot- long alligator. "We come across guard dogs like pit bulls quite frequently, but a guard alligator is very, very unusual," Sgt. J.D. Nelson said. Mayr told deputies he obtained the reptile in 1996 "to commemorate the death of rapper Tupac Shakur," Nelson said. The alligator, dubbed, Mr. Teeth, was taken to the Oakland Zoo, where spokeswoman Nicky Mora said the animal is "very sick." "So we will probably treat him and keep him in a quarantine area and then figure out from there where he will be located," Mora said. Mayr was arrested on a charge of possessing marijuana for sale and held in lieu of $160,000 bail. *-- Snake hitches ride on plane --* CAIRNS, Australia - A nearly 10-foot python hitched a ride on a Qantas flight out of Australia Thursday, much to the amazement of passengers. The snake, a scrub python, was spotted on the wing of the Qantas flight to Papua New Guinea around 6:15 a.m., The Sydney Morning Herald report- ed. "The people at the front were oblivious to what was going on but the passengers at the back were all totally focused on the snake and how it might have got onto the aircraft," said passenger Robert Weber. "There was no panic. At no time did anyone stop to consider that there might be others on board." Weber said people in the back of the plane watched as the flight became "a life-and-death struggle for the snake." "I felt quite sad for it, really. For the remainder of the flight, he was trying to pull himself back into the plane, even though he was fighting against 400km/h winds. The cabin crew told us that at cruising altitude, it was minus 12 degrees outside -- but not even that was able to finish him," Weber said. It was unclear whether the snake was found dead or alive when the plane landed in Port Moresby. A Qantas spokeswoman said, "We have never heard of this happening before." *-- Porn plays behind Swedish news anchor --* STOCKHOLM, Sweden - A Swedish news channel said precautions are being taken after a pornographic film became part of a news broadcast. Viewers of TV4 News, a 24-hour news station, said they noticed a pornographic film playing on a TV screen behind the anchor Monday morning while he was interviewing a correspondent in Moscow about Syrian President Bashar Assad's weekend speech, The Local.se reported Monday. TV4 news editor Andreas Haglind said the 10-minute porn problem was likely related to a computer server in the studio connected to other networks operated by C More Entertainment, which owns TV4 News as well as networks broadcasting erotic content. "It's not like we were directly broadcasting porn," he told the Swedish- language Expressen newspaper. "Put simply, it's crap that it happened. We're going to do everything we can so that it doesn't happen again." *-- Beer lover designs brew for dogs --* BEND, Ore. - An Oregon man said he combined his love of beer with his love for his dog to create a successful product -- Dog Grog. Daniel Keeton of Bend, who works at the Boneyard Brewery's tasting room, said he designed the non-alcoholic brew for his dog, Lola Jane, and decided to market the product when he saw how much she enjoyed the concoction, KTVZ, Bend, reported Monday. Keeton said his Dog Grog is made from low-sodium vegetable broth, water, spent grain from Boneyard Brewery and glucosamine. He started bottling and selling the brew in July and his wares are now sold at Visit Bend and Muddy Paw's retail stores. "Two things that have become part of the Bend lifestyle are beer and dogs," Visit Bend chief executive officer Doug LaPlaca said. "So to create something that would take advantage of the two we thought was a brilliant idea." Keeton said he recommends serving Dog Grog as a treat on its own or pouring it over some dry dog food. However, he said there are other ways to serve it. "A couple of my friends who just acquired a puppy are making ice cubes out of it, and it's helping the puppy with teething," Keeton said. ========================================================= >-->Frm Our Friend Bunni :) ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ >An Elderly Gentlemen A rather elderly gentleman (mid-eighties) walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is very well-dressed, smelling slightly of an expensive after-shave, hair well-groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel. He presents a suave, well-looked-after image. Seated at the bar is an elderly fine-looking lady (mid-seventies). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, good looking, do I come here often?" --- ...HaHa! Thanks Bunni! ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _ | (-' ______|_ ... ) | ===== ___ __|__ ))) < \ ( /- . | (((( / \'. <@>, _(>_\ ______| |"____) \ ./ \/ ( .__ - - _____. _ /\ _|_\ | \ | / ___ _ __( ' / / _\| '. .( | \__) _/_/ /-.-\ __|___ |'-, | /__ __\ | |-' __|___ /..___..\ ____ | / / \ \ | | ____|_ ) / '. ) __|_____|__ / ) )| | | .--. (_| (_| |_\/_\ _ \| )|_. ' )__ |___=( ( /)__'--. / \//%. (__/ / \___/ \'. (__/-(), .-'| ___\/_|_|_____)_\ \//__" \ O '-| (__\__\ \/ /_\_\_/ ''|-'._/)//\ \_| \ \/ // | | ( \/ )//) ) _\| | \/ | |/ \\__/_.' (_\/ |\/ /\ (____\ / \/ /\ /_.___\ / \/_/ /\ ( |_|/ / \/ \ /\ | / | \/ './) )__| |\/ |_| / | /_| |_| \___) |_| \_| |-|_ __/__''._____/__''._______mrf/____\___________ An anthropologist shows off his priceless trove of treasure to his saintly grandmother. "What's that?" she asks, pointing to an oddly shaped item. "Uh..." stammers the anthropologist, "it's a phallic symbol." "Oh," says his grandmother, nodding her head. "That's good, 'cause I hate to tell you what it looks like." -<>- On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet. "I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my ward- robe is ten years old," I said to my husband, hoping he'd take the hint and buy me some clothes as a present. "Or," he offered instead, "it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old." -<>- The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends-- generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by. Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. "Well," he replied, "you better start thinking about it. You'll be thirty before you know it." "But I'm closer to twenty than to thirty," I protested. "I won't be thirty for eight more years." "I see," he said, smiling. "And when will you be 20 again?" -<>- My wife and I were going through a rough patch financially, but we kept ourselves same by repeating, "As long as we have each other, we don't need anything else." But when the television in our bedroom broke and we couldn't afford to repair or replace it, my wife lost it. "That's just great!" she shouted. "Now there's no entertain- ment in our bedroom at all!" -<>- A man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies' clothing store. After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow's wife came out of the changing room again. He looked at her and immediately said: "That looks good on you. Get that one." "Honey," she replied, "this is what I was wearing when we came in." -<>- . .' `. .' .'. `. .' .' `. `. .' .' `. `. .' .' `. `. .' .'| _________ |`. `. `'| | | | | |`' | | | _ _ | | | | | | ( " ) } | | | | | \ / | | | | | | " | | | | | | | | | | |,+' | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | } | | | | | | | | ,,,,,,,,|,|,|,,,,,,,,,|,|,|,,,,,,,,,,,,,, VK Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the bathroom, I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restrooms. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?' I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' just fine.' And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?' What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling.' At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. 'Can I come over?' Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them 'No..I'm a little busy right now!' Then I hear the person say nervously... 'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions. -<>- One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way I can't forget the date." A few hours later, I recognized the same young man waiting in my line. When his turn came, he said somewhat sheepishly, "I need to change the numbers on that plate application." -<>- In the small, family-owned store in Spokane, Washington where I work, we often get folks from out of town whose idioms are a little different from our own. One day, after parking her car across the street in an attended lot, a young woman came in. She made her purchase and then asked, "Do you give validation?" Without batting an eye, my manager replied, "You are an excellent, successful person, and I love your hair." -<>- |). ____________ /| \ /) (\ / ,,____,, \:. ,| |__| [][][] |__|: : / [][][] \ : : ( |_ ! ( |< ejm / [][][] \ : : _____________ Please leave a / [][][] \ .. /[]_______oooo\ message at the =====|________________|==========|_____________| sound of the tone |)()()()()() Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead. He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our answering machine click on. "Hi," a voice said. "This is Dad. I'm locked out of the house." -<>- A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?" One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "Still in the Garden of Eden?" ========================================================= >-->From SermonFodder: __ __ __ |==| |==| |==| __|__|__|__|__|__|_ __|___________________|___ __|__[]__[]__[]__[]__[]__[]__|___ |............................o.../ \.............................../ hjw_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')_,~')/,~')_ >Come Starboard A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard." Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor. The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?" By way of Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh List To subscribe go to: http://www.cybersaltlists.org This post is brought your way by Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day Ministries. To subscribe go to http://www.sermonfodder.com or drop an email note to Sermon_Fodde-@yahoogroups.com. Please leave this attached if you forward this to friends. ======================================== Special REQUEST...... Donate bibles to persecuted Christians worldwide through the Bible Site. http://www.thebiblesite.org ============================ "Courage is rarely reckless or foolish...courage usually involves a highly realistic estimate of the odds that must be faced." --Margaret Truman =========================== __ __ ,-' `' \ _---``-- / _ _ ; __ `. / / `' \; /`----- ) / .-/ ,( ), \-. ; | \( \ / )/; | - _5 `7 -; / ( ___-' `-____ | ( ___`-_ \ ____| \ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \ \ ; \ .' /' `i. / | | \ _-'( _\__-/ `- | | ` ,` `_ | BP >People I Call Friends To the special people in my life. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. (I guess like an Angel...) Then, without any wrong doing on your part or an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But...only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you. With thanks to J Tarume The Christian Challenge and Blessing Email Service. To subscribe to this free service send a message with "subscribe" in the subject field to live-@charter.net. ============================================================= >-->From TheMouth: _________________________________________________________ ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||.--. .-._ .----. || |||==|____| |H|___ .---.___|""""|_____.--.___ || ||| |====| | |xxx|_ |+++|=-=|_ _|-=+=-|==|---||| |||==| | | | | \ | | |_\/_|Black| | ^ ||| ||| | | | | |\ \ .--. | |=-=|_/\_|-=+=-| | ^ ||| ||| | | | | |_\ \_( oo )| | | |Magus| | ^ ||| |||==|====| |H|xxx| \ \ |''| |+++|=-=|""""|-=+=-|==|---||| ||`--^----'-^-^---' `-' "" '---^---^----^-----^--^---^|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| || ___ .-.__.-----. .---.|| || |===| .---. __ .---| |XX|<(*)>|_|^^^||| || , /(| |_|III|__|''|__|:x:|=| | |=| Q ||| || _a'{ / (|===|+| |++| |==| | | |Illum| | R ||| || '/\\/ _(|===|-| | |''| |:x:|=| |inati| | Y ||| ||_____ -\{___(| |-| | | | | | | | | | Z ||| || _(____)|===|+|[I]|DK|''|==|:x:|=|XX|<(*)>|=|^^^||| || `---^-^---^--^--'--^---^-^--^-----^-^---^|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||_______________________________________________________|| Qryz >WEIRD QUESTIONS ASKED OF LIBRARIANS ** "Do you have that book by Rushdie: 'Satanic Nurses'?" ** "Where is the reference desk?" This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign saying "REFERENCE DESK"! ** "Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?" ** "I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?" ** "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?" ** "Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?" ** "I need a color photograph of George Washington [Columbus, Moses, Socrates, etc.] for a school paper I'm writing." ** "I need a photocopy of Abraham Lincoln's birth certificate." ** "Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?" ** "I need to find out Ibid's first name for my bibliography." ** "Why don't you have any books by Ibid? He's written a lot of important books!" ** "I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months." -<>- >Thoughts for today 1. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. 2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. 4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. 5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain. 6. A penny saved is a government oversight. 7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. 8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. 9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. 10. He who hesitates is probably right. 11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. 12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. 14. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS" -<>- ..-------------------.__ .'_______ `-. // .-----.\.--------..--------.\ ||' __'|| || || || __ ||' .=(_ )|| ====== || ==.| ||( _) ||'| \\||________||________||// ||'------\) ,--======\\======-._/ ____|| |/ = = `-. _____________ ||'==. || ...... = = `-. `=============`|| ||_ /////.--. = = `. .--. | .---. || | .----|==| \ \ \ \|==| | .' `. || | .' '--'. |-. | | .-|'--'`. .' \ || .' `. |-.'-|=|-'.-| \ / .-==-. \|| / _.----. \ |-.'-|=|-'.-| | | .' .---. `. ||| .-' .---. `. | |-.'-|=|-'.-| | | / .`.- -.`. \ '\_`---- / .`.- -.`. \ | ' '-|=|-' '_____/ [|_|/ / _ \ \|__________| / / _ \ \ `_____.......-----'_____] ; : / \ : ;'----------'; : / \ : ;[_____.......-----'; : : ; \_/ ; : \ / / ; : \_/ ; : \ \ / / \ \ / /. `- -` . \ \ / / LGB . `- -` . . `- -` . `-----` . `- -` . `-----` `-----` `-----` >REASONS WHY FARM TRUCKS ARE NEVER STOLEN **They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas. **Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out. **It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab. **It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision. **The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean. **They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc. **The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. **You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape. **Top speed is only about 45 mph. **Who wants a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in bodywork, taillights and a windshield. **It's hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you. -<>- >How to know you are a REAL New Yorker: You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. Hookers and the homeless are invisible. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. Your door has more than three locks. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard. You think Central Park is "nature." You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal." You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent. You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone. Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip." America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise. $100 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian. -<>- . / \ / . \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / _ _O \ \ / / \ / | \ \ / / / /| \ \ / / //\\ `. . \ \ / / // \\ / \ \ \ / / // || /___\ \ \ / `-----------------' \ `-----------------------' jrei >Signs Of The Times: Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. (PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.) English sign in a German cafe: MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW =========================================================== >-->From Our friend KarenF :) ( ( ) ) ( ) (o) ) ( (o) ) ,|, ) (o) ,|, |~\ ( (o) ,|, |~\ ( \ | (o) ,|, \~| \ | (o) |`\ ,|, |~\ |`\ |`\@@@,|,@@@@\ |@@@\~| \ | \ | o@@@\ |@@@\~|@@@@|`\@@@|`\@@@o |`\ o|`\@@@@@|`\@@@|`\@@@@\ |@@@\ |@@@@@\ |o o@@\ |@@@@@\ |@@@\ |@@@@@@@@@@|`\@@@@@|`\@@o @@@@|`\@@@@@@@@@@@|`\@@@@@@@@@@\ |@@@@@\ |@@@@ p@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\ |@@@@@@@@@@|`\@@@@@@@@@@@q @@o@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@|`\@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@o@@ @:@@@o@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@o@@::@ ::@@::@@o@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@o@@:@@::@ ::@@::@@@@::oo@@@@oo@@@@@ooo@@@@@o:::@@@:::::: %::::::@::::::@@@@:::@@@:::::@@@@:::::@@:::::% %%::::::::::::@@::::::@:::::::@@::::::::::::%% ::%%%::::::::::@::::::::::::::@::::::::::%%%:: .#::%::%%%%%%:::::::::::::::::::::::::%%%%%::%::#. .###::::::%%:::%:%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%:%:::%%:::::###. .#####::::::%:::::%%::::::%%%%:::::%%::::%::::::::::#####. .######`:::::::::::%:::::::%:::::::::%::::%:::::::::'######. .#########``::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::''#########. `.#############```::::::::::::::::::::::::'''#############.' `.######################################################.' ` .###########,._.,,,. #######<_\##################. ' ` .#######,;: `,/____,__`\_____,_________,_____ ` .###;;;`. _,;>-,------,,--------,----------' ` `,;' ~~~ ,'\######_/'####### . ' ''~`'''' - .'/; - ' -Catalyst >Celebrating Danny Kaye's 100th Birthday Danny Kaye (born David Daniel Kaminsky; January 18, 1913 – March 3,1987) Was a celebrated American actor, singer, dancer, and comedian. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AN_KyrG4hs Famous scene from The Court Jester http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6OYGEoWKYk >Danny Kaye Quotes Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it. You bet I arrived overnight. Over a few hundred nights in the Catskills, in vaudeville, in clubs and on Broadway. I wasn't born a fool. It took work to get this way. To travel is to take a journey into yourself. --- ...Thanks KarenF! ========================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Freedom Isn't Free! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html Come Adore Him! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comeadorehim.html Let's Dance! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dance.html Flower Dog Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerart2.html Ice Sculpture Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ices.html Aww Animals 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals4.html Best Bed Positions! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bed.html Chevy Selling It! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevysi.html Birth Of An Elk http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elk.html Hippo And Tortoise http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hippo.html Ice Hotel http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/icehotel.html Ostional Sea Turtles http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seaturtle.html Wave Frozen In Time! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wave.html Desert Skiing! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desertskiing.html Wall Mural Art 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart3.html -<>- >From Our Friend JoeL :) Yeah Toast lyrics! - YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLtlI8Q36Zs&feature=related Secret 5000 Year Old Flying Machine Discovery with Steve Quayl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBlwhVyZxmQ --- ...Most Interesting! Thanks JoeL! -<>- >From Our Friend Bunni :) She sent us a cute one we have here.. One Of Those Days http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/days.html --- ...sweet! thanks Bunni! Pudding Cake Recipes http://www.nancyskitchen.com/pudding_CAKE_recipes.htm Brownie Recipes http://www.nancyskitchen.com/brownie_recipes.htm Tomato Recipes http://www.nancyskitchen.com/tomato-recipes/index.html --- ...Yum! Thanks Bunni! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) I don't think many, if any, of you will remember the Ross Sisters (I certainly didn't) who were popular in 1944. Their act gets better as it progresses and you will be amazed at how the sisters exit the stage at the end of their performance.. (HINT: Watch past the first 50 seconds or so, then Whoa! look out!) YouTube - Solid Potato Salad - The Ross Sisters (1944) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mVpGmoES3w --- ...Wow! Thanks Geniann! This left me awestruck! I don't think the grandkids rubber figures can bend and move this easily! ALL 3 Of Them - WOWSERS! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Japanese researchers have successfully grown mouse eggs in a laboratory dish, thus giving hope to millions of infertile mouse couples that hope to start a family." -Jay Leno "Facebook is adding a new thing, which is the 'want' button. I think Facebook should stick to doing what they do best, which is letting you know that your friends from high school got fat and bald." -Jimmy Kimmel "Two ATMs here in New York were shut down for dispensing counterfeit money. People were suspicious after one guy kept asking, 'Hey, can you break a 23?'" -Jimmy Fallon "A handwritten letter written by Albert Einstein suggesting that there is no God went on sale on eBay starting at $3 million. When the owner heard how much the letter was worth, he said, 'Thank you, Lord.'" -Jay Leno "Earlier tonight was the vice-presidential debate. A lot of people say who cares, but let me tell you something. One of these two gentlemen will be walking the White House dog." --Dave Letterman "Because President Obama and Mitt Romney went way over their time limits, they put safety measures in place for this debate to make sure it didn't happen again. I think they got this idea from award shows. Biden didn't even have time to thank his agent." --Jimmy Kimmel "We learned a lot about Joe Biden's policies last night. As you know, he has come out very, very strongly against malarkey." -Jay Leno "On Saturday the Empire State Building went dark for an hour to draw attention to climate change. Of course, 10 endangered eagles then crashed into the building." -Jimmy Fallon "China has overtaken the United States as the world's biggest food and grocery market. That means they buy and consume more food than we do. Which when you think about it of course they do. A half hour after they eat, they're hungry again. It's Chinese food." -Jimmy Kimmel "I once dated a guy who was so dumb he could not count to twenty-one unless he was naked." -Joan Rivers "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy." -Jack Handey >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************