Philosophers Comments And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) ================ _ _|_|_ ,|_| |_|_ || | | |_| || | | | | || | | | | _|| | | | | ||)\ ^ ^ ^ | || | | || | | || | | \\ | \\ / ejm )\ ( / \ \ / \ \ \ \ *~* Our Prayers Go Out To The Victims And Family Of The DC Shooting And Those Affected By The Flooding In Colorado. May God Bless and Help Them During This Horrific Time. -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hot page comes from our friends Johanna, LouiseA, Linda and PatDeE! It is sure to give you plenty of smiles! Give it plenty of time to load and Check it out here... ________________ '------._.------'\ \_______________\ .'| .'| .'_____________.' .| | | | | Scooby _.-. | . | | * (_.-' | | | Snacks | .| | * * | .' |______________|.' LGB Look Who's Talking 8! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking8.html --- ...Love This series! So Many adorable funny animals! Thanks Johanna, LouiseA, Linda and PatDeE! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: ) .-"(" "-. A True Story... .-|`'---'`| | | | ____ Last April 1st, in a small \| | .'` __ `'. ____ local town, Josh and Big Hoss `\ / | '--' |.'` __ `'. (two rookie policemen) were jgs `"---"` \`------`/| '--' | patrolling the downtown `------' \`------`/ business area. They decided `------` to stop into the local coffee shop for a coffee and a donut. The time was 11:55 AM. Three minutes later, they got a call on their police radio, "Code 33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana." Well there was only one bank in town, in fact, it was just across from the coffee shop. A code 33 was an "armed robbery" but it was also just 11:58 AM and Josh and Big Hoss decided it was the dispatcher playing a joke on them. So they continued on enjoying their coffee break. At 12:01 PM, they got a second call on their radio, "Repeat, Urgent, code 33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana." Realizing it was past noon, they rushed across the street, but arrived 30 seconds after the banana split. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ September 16 is Stay Away From Seattle Day and Collect Rocks Day September 17 is National Apple Dumpling Day September 18 is National Play-doh Day September 19 is National Butterscotch Pudding Day September 20 is National Punch Day September 21 is World Gratitude Day and International Banana Festival September 22 is Hobbit Day and Dear Diary Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ___ ( ) ~=====~ ^ ^ e e | (A portrait of Stan Laurel, symbol of fun) - \_/ >Bachelor Cooking Bachelor cooking is a matter of attitude. If you think of it as setting fire to things and making a mess, it's fun. However, it's not so great if you think of it as dinner. Nomenclature is also an important part of bachelor cooking. If you call it "Italian cheese toast," it's not disgusting to have warmed-over pizza for breakfast. -<- >Clam Chowder Travelling from the East Coast to Oregon, I was looking forward to sampling seafood from the Pacific Ocean. At a small open-air restaurant, I selected the clam chowder. "Is it fresh?" I asked the waitress. "Oh yes," she replied. "We opened the can just this morning." -<>- >Closer I was attending an outdoor music concert with a young woman I'd recently begun dating. Standing at the back of the crowd, we wrapped our arms around each other, swaying to the music. After a particularly romantic song, my date turned to face me. With a loving smile, she said, "I wish we were closer." Totally thrilled, I looked into her eyes and whispered, "Do you mean our houses or our friendship?" Puzzled, she replied, "To the stage." -<>- >Escalator Recently, while I was on a shopping trip in a department store, I heard a little five-year-old talking to his mother while they were on the down escalator. He said, "Mommy, what do they do when the basement gets full of steps?" -<>- >Free Dance Lesson I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang. "If you can answer one easy trivia question," a young man said, "you'll win ten free dance lessons!" Before I could tell him I was not interested he continued, "You'll be a lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented." "I don't know," I replied dryly, trying to discourage him. "What are you holding in your hand right now?" he asked excitedly. "A bologna sandwich." "Congratulations!" he said. "And for having such a great sense of humor......" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA: _____ _ _____ ____ /_ /, | ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> | `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_ |_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$ ;-'' pb >SMILES A high-school geometry teacher, started one lesson on triangles by reading a theorem. "If an angle is an exterior angle of a triangle, then its measure is greater than the measure of either of its corresponding remote interior angles." He noticed that one student wasn't taking notes and asked him why. "Well," he replied sincerely, "I'm waiting until you start speaking English." ------------ I came home from the golf course today. The wife had left a note on the fridge: "IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my Mother." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold... What the hell is she talking about? ------------ "Police in Italy say they've arrested horse owners who were feeding Viagra to their racehorses. Apparently, police became suspicious when a horse won a close race and it wasn't by a nose. ------------ Yellowstone Tourist: "Look at all those big rocks! Wherever did they come from?" Yellowstone Guide: "The glaciers brought them down." Tourist (clueless): "But where are the glaciers?" Guide (wearily): "The glaciers ... have gone back for more rocks." ----------- A Lutheran bishop tells of visiting a parish church in California and finding a stirring red and orange banner stretched across on the wall. "COME HOLY SPIRIT! HALLELUJAH!" it declared in bright letters printed under a picture of a beautiful burning fire. The bishop also noticed another sign directly underneath the banner. That sign read FIRE EXTINGUISHER. Chuckling, the bishop decided he'd better keep an eye on that parish's true commitment to spiritual renewal. ------------ An American and an Irishman go to a pastry shop. The American whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice. The American says to the Irishman: "You see how clever we Americans are? You'll never beat that!" The Irishman says to the American: "Watch this, an Irishman is always more clever than a American." He says to the baker, "Give me a cookie, I can show you a magic trick!" The baker gives him the cookie which the Irishman promptly eats. Then he says to the baker: "Give me another cookie for my magic trick." The baker is getting suspicious but he gives it to him. He eats this one too. Then he says again: "Give me one more cookie... " The baker is getting angry now, but gives him one anyway. The Irishman eats this one too. Now the baker is really mad, and he yells: "And where is your famous magic trick?" The Irishman says: "Look in the American's pocket!" ----------- A blonde is flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She is frantic and calls out a May Day. "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!" She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control, and I hear you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position." She says, "I'm 5'4" and I support Obama." "O.K." says the voice on the radio... "Repeat after me: Our Father who art in heaven... --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: There are good ways and bad ways to handle a bad situation. Murder is rarely one of the good ways, especially when the bad situation is a marriage. But like the old saying goes, 'when enough is enough' you have to do something about it. Maybe that is why this newlywed wife with doubts about her 8-day-old marriage confessed she pushed her husband face- first off a cliff in Glacier National Park in Montana, then lied about his death and told authorities he had driven off with friends. To all appearances 25-year-old Cody Lee Johnson was in love and excited for his marriage to Jordan Linn Graham, but his relatives suspected that Graham didn't exactly reciprocate, family friend Tracey Maness said. She was aloof, didn't want to spend time with his family, Maness said. Johnson told his mother that Graham would change when they got married, Maness said. "Nobody ever could have thought something like this could happen," she said. On the night Johnson died, Graham told a friend that she meant to talk with Johnson about "having second thoughts about having been married." Five days later, Graham admitted to authorities that she and Johnson had an argument, were upset and decided to go to the Loop Trail in the park. They continued arguing on the trail, and it intensified. At one point, she turned to walk away, but Johnson grabbed her arm, she said. She turned around, removed his hand from her arm and "due to her anger, she pushed Johnson with both hands in the back, and as a result, he fell face first off the cliff," the affidavit said. Graham is now facing a second-degree murder charge. *-- Police: Drunk horseback rider said he was traveling 600 miles --* BOULDER, Colo. - University of Colorado police said a man accused of drunken horseback riding told officers he was traveling to Utah to attend a wedding. CU police spokesman Ryan Huff said police received calls Monday about a man on a horse wandering into traffic in Boulder and some witnesses said they saw the man strike the horse, the Daily Camera, Boulder, reported Tuesday. Police stopped Patrick Neal Schumacher, 45, of Colorado Springs, who was found to be carrying a pug in a backpack. He also had beer and a black powder pistol in one of his saddlebags, police said. Schumacher, who failed field sobriety tests, told officers he was attempting a 600-mile trip to Bryce, Utah, for his brother's wedding. Schumacher was charged with a traffic infraction of riding a horse while under the influence of alcohol and misdemeanor counts of animal cruelty, prohibited use of weapons and reckless endangerment. *-- British bus driver fined for extra rider says it was a blow-up doll --* MANCHESTER, England - A British party bus driver said the extra passenger that led to him being fined $688.86 was a blow-up doll, not an actual human. Bash Ali, 41, of Oldham, England, said he was driving the Mercedes minibus from Oldham into a trendy section of nearby Manchester when he was pulled over and cited for using a motor vehicle on a road when the load or passengers were likely to cause danger when police said he was carrying nine people, more than his allowed eight, The Daily Mirror reported Monday. Ali said the ninth passenger was actually a blow-up doll, but he pleaded guilty to the charge in court because he couldn't afford a lawyer. He was ordered to pay $688.86 in fines and costs. "I have no faith in the justice system," he said. Prosecutor Paul Scott said police were confident the bus was occupied by nine humans when it was pulled over March 30. "There are dangers, clearly, for anybody inside the vehicle and anybody outside the vehicle when it is overloaded," Scott said. "So essentially what the council says is that the vehicle was overloaded and that they were all human beings." *-- Police: Woman spent investors' toilet fan money --* DELRAY BEACH, Fla. - Authorities in Florida said they arrested a woman accused of bilking four people out of more than $100,000 by getting them to invest in toilet fans. Delray Beach police said Sally Berry, 57, of Deerfield Beach, was arrested Tuesday after she convinced four people to invest in the "Pan Fan," a real device that attaches to a toilet and purifies air, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Thursday. Instead of buying fans, Berry allegedly spent the money on clothes, dinners, spa treatments and other personal expenses, police said. Berry was charged with fraud and released after posting $4,500 bail. *-- Woman's long name doesn't fit on driver's license --* HONOLULU - A Hawaiian woman whose last name is 35 letters long said the state has told her to shorten it to fit on a state-issued ID card. Janice "Lokelani" Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele said she has been carrying both her driver's license and her state ID for the past 20 years because her driver's license could only fit her last name, and even that was missing its final letter, KHON-TV, Honolulu, reported Thursday. She said the state ID was able to fit her full name. "The governor's office went back into the computer department and they found a way to put our name on our state ID," Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele said. However, she said her state ID expired in May, and the replacement issued to her by the state has the same name problem as the driver's license. Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele said county officials told her to use her maiden name or shorten her last name. However, she said the name is all she has left of her late husband. Department of Transportation spokeswoman Caroline Sluyter said the issue is being looked at by officials. "We have been made aware of that issue and I know right now they are working to extend that limit to, I believe, 40 characters so that issue can be resolved," the spokeswoman said. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Richard :) @ ) (_m_\ \\" _.`~. `(#'/.\) .>' (_--, _=/d . ^\ ~~ \)-' ' / | ptr ##'##'#after a:f############## ################################# The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.' Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year- old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon. About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. 'How's the new wife?', asked the banker. Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.' The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?' Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.' Don't ever underestimate old guys. --- ...LOL! Thanks Richard! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro >Boy's confession 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Dominic Savino?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Dominic, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?' 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell. ' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed.' 'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.' The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four months vacation and five good leads.' --- ...Oh My! TeeHee! Thanks Linda! -<>- .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| | | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| | |/ ! | | (/ | | ! | . | | ! | | | | ! |~~~~' | ! | | | | ! | >Philosophers' Comments.... When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - David After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Anonymous The great question. which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' - Red Skelton 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' - Sam Kinison 'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' - James Holt McGavra Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming. 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... - Nash You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Anonymous My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. This is my favorite!!! - Henny Youngman A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' - Anonymous First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' - Anonymous --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! Paul and I just celebrated our 40th Anniversary - I guess we tolerate each other OK. :) ============================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: _____________ __________ /\ \_____ _ (\ -=- \ |; _____|_| `\ --=-= \ \/____________/ \ -==--=- \ __ ) -==-==- ) jgs \/ ( =-==-= ( \ -=- \ /_) -=- ) `""""""""""` >In 1923, Who Was... 1. President of the largest steel company? 2. President of the largest gas company? 3. President of the New York Stock Exchange? 4. Greatest wheat speculator? 5. President of the Bank of International Settlement? 6. Great Bear of Wall Street? These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days. Now, 82 years later, history tells us what ultimately became of them. The Answers: 1. The president of the largest steel company. Charles Schwab, died a pauper. 2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane. 3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home 4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless. 5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself. 6 The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide. However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen. So, what became of him? He played golf until he was 92, and died in 1999 at the ripe old age of 95! He was *very* financially secure at the time of his death. The moral here: Forget work. Play golf! -<>- My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why. "The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply don't want to put up with it," she explained. Taking her mother's hand in hers, my friend's daughter said sweetly, "I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you're not exactly carry-on yourself." -<>- You have probably heard about the lawsuit over a spilled cup of coffee. However, there are many other silly lawsuits involving products that have received far less attention. For example: A prescription of sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness A container of underarm deodorant says, "Caution: Do not spray in eyes" A cartridge for a laser printer warns: "Do not eat toner" A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns: "Do not drive with sunshield in place" A Bathroom Heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms" A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: "May irritate eyes" A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution - Risk of Fire" A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity. -<>- Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody. Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it. So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place. -<>- ,ggg, gg ,ggg, d8P""8b ,d88b, d8""Y8b Y8b,__,,aadd88888bbaaa,888888,aaadd88888bbaa,,__,d8P "88888888888888888888I888888I88888888888888888888" /|\`""YY8888888PP""""`888888'""""YY8888888PP""'/|\ / | \ `WWWW' / | \ / | \ ,dMMb, / | \ / | \ I8888I / | \ / | \ `Y88P' / | \ / | \ `YP' / | \ / | \ 88 / | \ / | \ i88i / | \ / | \ 8888 / | \ "Y88888888888888888888888P" i8888i "Y88888888888888888888888P" `""Y888888888888888P""' ,888888, `""Y888888888888888P""' I888888I Y888888P `Y8888P' `WWWW' dMMb _,ad8888ba,_ __,,aaaadd888888888888888bbaaaa,,__ d8888888888888888888888888888888888888b Normand Veilleux >Laws of Life: * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. * Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. * The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. * Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens. * First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else. * Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references. * The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag. * Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot. -<>- Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years." ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth :) GET your t-shirts 'ERE! GET 'em WHILE THEY'RE HOT! We got AAAAAALL kinds of MERCHANDISE.. We got MUGS, MOUSEPADS, T-SHIRTS! Be the FIRST on YOUR block with an OFFICIAL NERD BOY PRODUCT!!!! \ ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ / / \\\ O===)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)====:- [-[-]-\\ .--._'.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. \ /_ /|/ / \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ {o} |= / | OO \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ .- #// (\. \_/| .||. |\_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ / \ | db | | | | | | | | | | | / | OO \ \ | | | | | | | | | | | | /__/| .||. |\__\_______ |______|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_| \ \ | db | \__.'\ ( `.\| | \\\ /_|______| | _| _ _ _ _______ | | |-| | | | |) -__---_ | | |_| _| | | |___----_--___________ | | | |_________|___________________| \_ | | || || || || | | | || || || || | | | || || || || | | | || || || || _|__|___| || || || || jg(____(___) || || || || >Real Signs In Shop Windows Signs In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In the window of an Oregon general store: "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?" In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves." On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable." >From the safety information card in America WestAirline seat pocket: "If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member." On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship." On a delicatessen wall: "Our best is none too good." -<>- >You Might Be A Physics Major... if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically. if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division. if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force." if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer. if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver." if you think in "math." if you have a pet named after a scientist. if you can translate English into Binary. if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be any- where in the universe. -<>- _A .'`"`'. / , , \ | <\^/> | | < (_) >| /====\ (.--._ _.--.) |\ -`\- /| |(_.- >-.)| \__.-'^'._/ |\ . / _.'\ '----'|'-. _.-' O ;-.__.' \O `o. /o \ \/-.-\/| \ jgs| ;, '.|\| / >What Not to Say to a Police Officer! 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee, Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?", you probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" ========================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) GARBAGE TRUCK CAMPER! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/garbage.html HUMOROUS ADS 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humorad2.html LEAF ART PAINTINGS! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/art.html ANIMAL FRIENDS 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends3.html THAT'S GOD! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thatsgod.html GOD'S ADVERTISEMENTS! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/godsads.html THE WILD ONES! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildones.html Think Positive! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/positive.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Beautiful close-up high-speed footage from the film 'Wings of Life' by Louie Schwartzberg. Check out the hummingbird doing rolls while chasing a bug! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xHkq1edcbk4 Boaters in Pensacola Bay, Florida were in for a thrill ride, when a waterspout formed right in front of their boat. Instead of turning the other way, they followed it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rTDbHNU9_us Socks the Shetland pony is dancing to Fleetwood Mac’s 'Everywhere'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Th2LXTOrPy0 Are you ready for some football? These teams sure are! From the superstars in the NFL all the way down to pee-wees, I dare you not to laugh at some of these ridiculous dance moves. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm2TGZZoT94&feature=player_detailpage --- ...Yeah Baby! Fun! Great Ones! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) TV in the'50's and '60's. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=JEfotdZCguk&pop_ads=null Awwww, big Smiles for you Shangy & everyone! http://tinyurl.com/cery6tg --- ...Love The SMILES! Thanks Linda! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Congress is considering a bill that would force advertisers to lower the volume of their TV commercials. OK, how did my mother get in Congress?" -Jimmy Fallon "The kids are going back to school. When I was a kid, you used to take an apple to school for the teacher to get on her good side. Now you send over a drink." -Dave Letterman "Las Vegas is about to unveil what will be the world's largest Ferris wheel. They are billing it as a new way to throw up on the streets of Las Vegas." -Conan O'Brien "The NFL season kicked off last night. Football is for people who can't stand politics but still enjoy watching millionaires destroy each other." -Craig Ferguson "John Kerry said during the Senate hearing that we are not the world's policemen. Really, then how come we eat most of the world's donuts?" -Jay Leno "On Sunday, more than 1,500 people set a world record by holding the largest gathering of redheads in history - marking the first event that nearly got canceled due to sun." -Jimmy Fallon "Fashion Week held its first-ever plus-sized fashion show. Apparently, they're hoping it creates a more positive, body- friendly atmosphere - which it might if they didn't call everyone there 'plus-sized.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Vin Diesel is with us tonight. Vin is not his real name. His real name is Vehicle Identification Number." -Jimmy Kimmel "Plans are being discussed for a reality show based on the White House. It's called 'Lame Duck Dynasty.'" -Jay Leno "About $30 million in $100 bills had to be destroyed because of a printing problem. Isn't that unbelievable? The only thing we know how to do right in this country is print money and we even screw that up." -Jay Leno "A new report says 60 percent of teenagers don't have even a basic knowledge of finances. Although in fairness, I'm 38 and I just found out this year that a 401(k) is NOT a type of marathon." -Jimmy Fallon "They're now making the first smartphone that's not made overseas. It's made in Texas. It's also the first smartphone that doubles as a handgun." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************