Praise The Lord And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ .-. [.-''-., | //`~\) (<| 0\0|>_ ";\ _"/ \\_ _, __\|'._/_ \ '='-, /\ \ || )_///_\>> ( '._ T |\ | _/),-' '. '._.-' /'/ | | '._ _.'`-.._/ snd ,\ / '-' |/ [_/\-----j _.--.__[_.--'_\__ / `--' '---._ / '---. -'. .' _.-- '. \_ '--.___ _;.-o / '.__ ___/______.__8----' *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This one comes from our friend Vivian. It was so strikingly beautiful that I couldn't resist doing up a page to share with all of you too. Check it our here... |). ____________ /| \ /) (\ / ,,____,, \:. ,| |__| [][][] |__|: : / [][][] \ : : ( |_ ! ( |< ejm / [][][] \ : : _____________ Please leave a / [][][] \ .. /[]_______oooo\ message at the =====|________________|==========|_____________| sound of the tone |)()()()()() Playing With Words http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wordplay.html This next one from our friend Sandi brought me some chuckles that I wanted to share with you too... Life's Little Oops 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops4.html --- ...Thank You Viv and Sandi for the Ooos, Awwws, And Laughs! =================================================================== >-->From the FunnyBone: Praise The Lord! .-"""-. An elderly lady was (_ _ \ well known for her ____ _ )= `) ) ,"";, faith and for her ()___>===(()====( ( (//``;\\ boldness in talking ||~\__ `) ( ) ;|| about it. She would || `==\--`.-; ;|| stand on her front porch and \\ / |`-._, ;\\ shout "PRAISE THE LORD!" , `---;` / `._`\\ ,/| >~~~~`._ `"` Next door to her lived |(| / ' `""---.....___ an atheist who would (| | '. ' _ . ``\ get so angry at her \ '-. '- . _ / proclamations that he would shout, \ '. - ._`\ "There ain't no Lord!" '. '. '-.. _/ jgs '._ - ._ _/ Hard times set in on the elderly lady `-..__ .-'` and she prayed for God to send her some `"'""` assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD! God I need food. I am having a hard time. Please, Lord, send me some groceries." The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!" The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "HA...HA. I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries. God didn't." The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying, "PRAISE THE LORD!, He not only sent me groceries but HE made the Devil pay for them." PRAISE THE LORD! ===================================================================== +------------- More Bizarre April Holidays --------------+ April 11 is Eight-Track Tape Day April 12 is Look Up At The Sky Day April 13 is Blame Somebody Else Day April 14 is National Pecan Day April 15 is Rubber Eraser Day April 16 is National Stress Awareness Day and National Eggs Benedict Day April 17 is National Cheeseball Day April 18 is International Jugglers Day April 19 is Garlic Day April 20 is Look Alike Day ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) ( ) ((((())) |o\ /o)| ( ( _') (._. /\__ ,\___,/ ' ') '.,_,, ( .- . . ) \ \\ ( ' )( ) \ \\ \. _.__ ____( . | \ /\\ .( .' /\ '. ) \( \\.-' ( / \/ \) ' ()) _'.-|/\/\/\/\/\| '\\ .( |\/\/\/\/\/| '(( \ /\ / (((( '.__\/__.') ((,) / ((() ) "..-, (()(" / pils _//. ((() ." _____ //,/" ___ ((( ', ___ (( ) / / _/,/' /,/," >New cuss word...... Awesome !~! Years ago when I sometimes used unsavory language, I often used the expression "Bull S***." As I grew up a bit and discovered it was not necessary to use such crude language, that expression became "BS." What did I really mean when I used those expressions? I meant that something was ridiculous, or idiotic or a half truth or just stupid. It covered any number of negative formats. The dictionary defines it as: nonsense; especially: foolish insolent talk... I have decided that I no longer will use either of those expressions in the future. When I have a need to express such feelings, I will use the word "Pelosi." Let me use it in a sentence. "That*s just a bunch of Pelosi.." I encourage you to do the same. It is such a nasty sounding word, it really packs a punch, we are no longer being vulgar, and it clearly expresses our feelings. If enough of us use it, perhaps the word could be entered into the dictionary. When on a ranch watch your step and don*t step in Pelosi. It will get on the bottom of your boot and won*t go away until next election. What a fitting and descriptive legacy for the Speaker of the House! Pass it on to at least 10,000,000 people. Do not break this chain or you will get more Pelosi than you can shake a bull at. P.S. Betcha when this new word reaches D.C., the PELOSI WILL HIT THE FAN! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. --- ...HaHa! A Good One Johanna! Thanks! -<>- >An ET-AHEM! THINK ABOUT THIS CAREFULLY - GETTING A HAIRDRYER THROUGH CUSTOMS A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her... 'Father, may I ask a favour?' 'Of course, child. What may I do for you?' 'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?' 'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.' 'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.' When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?' 'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.' The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?' 'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.' Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!' ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." -- Ronald Reagan --- ...LOL! Thanks Johanna! ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) _____________________ | _________________ | | | / | | | | /\ / | | | | /\ / \ / | | | | / \/ \/ | | | |/ JO | | | |_________________| | | __ __ __ __ __ __ | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | |__|__|__|__|__|__| | | ___ ___ ___ ___ | | | 7 | 8 | 9 | | + | | | |___|___|___| |___| | | | 4 | 5 | 6 | | - | | | |___|___|___| |___| | | | 1 | 2 | 3 | | x | | | |___|___|___| |___| | | | . | 0 | = | | / | | | |___|___|___| |___| | |_____________________| >We are in trouble... The Population of this country is 300 million. 160 Million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the Work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal Government. Leaving 20 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied With killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 17.2 Million to do the work. Take from that total the 15.8 Million people who work for state and city Governments. And that Leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given Time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people In prisons. That leaves just two people to do the Work. You and Me. And there You are, Sitting on your bottom At your computer, Reading this DUMB E-mail. Nice. Real nice. While I`m: Over worked, Under paid, Under Loved, And Under OBAMA!!! *O~" John-paul --- ...OH MY! TeeHee! Thanks John-Paul!! -<>- TYPE IN a command under the dog and see what happens... Sit, roll over, down, stand, sing, dance, shake, fetch, play dead , beg, etc., and... It's also very cute if you type in a command that's not recognized...!! Make sure you type in 'Kiss', too, but do it last!!! )..( (.o) `.( ) |||| ptr "`'" Click here: I Do Dog Tricks http://www.idodogtricks.com/index_flash.html --- ...Awww, such a cute one! Thanks John-Paul! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend James ... - . _+ - . @=, .+ . - p "} - . + /_/T>\ + - . /`~~||/ . + ./ //\\ - . - ` \\ \\ . - . ~` ~` _ + There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts. ~ Richard Bach All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without benefit of experience. ~ Henry Miller ("The Absolute Collective" The Wisdom of the Heart) Success is that peace of mind that comes from knowing you've done everything in your power to become the very best you're capable of becoming. ~ John Wooden _____|\ _.--| SSt |: <____|.----|| .---''---, ;..__..' _... ,'/ ;|/..--'' \ ,'_/.-/': : _..-'''/ / | \ \ _|/| \ /-./_ \; \ \,;' \ ,\ / \: `:\ \ // `:`. ,' \ /-._; | : : :: ,. . ,' :: /`-._| | | || ' : `.`.) _,' |;._:: | | | | `| : `' ,' `. / |`-:_ ; | | | : \ `--. ) /|-._: : | \ \ / / :_| ;`-._; __..--'; : : / ( ;|;-./_ _/.-:'o | / ' | / , \._/_/_./--''/_|:|___|_,' | : / `'-'--'----'---------' | | : O ._O O_. O ._O O_. ; ; : `. // // // // ,' / ~~~`.______//____//____//____//_______,'~ // //~ // // ~~ _// _// _// ~ _// ~ ~ / / / / / / / / ~ ~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ I care... http://mrmom.amaonline.com/poems/sinking.htm --- ...Sweet! Thanks James! That reminds me of ours here... Three Old Men http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldmen.html -<>- On the Lighter Side... http://pumpplanter.250free.com/ALLJPGS/ObongoFile2/Recovery.jpg --- ...Funny! Thnaks James! =============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From Patriot Update: http://tinyurl.com/yz5hvkr Hillary Clinton commits to UN Small Arms Treaty Limbaugh Strikes at Obama for 'Nazi' Comment http://tinyurl.com/yclbe7l http://tinyurl.com/yhew5sm Parody Video: "You Picked a Fine Time to Lead Us, Barack" http://tinyurl.com/y9olqjj Michelle Caught on Video: "Obama's Home Country Is Kenya" -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Judge chastised for confiscating phone --------- ORLANDO, Fla. - A Florida juvenile court judge went too far when he found a woman in contempt because her cell- phone rang in the courtroom, an appeals court ruled. The appeals panel in Daytona said Michelle McRoy's ringing phone was "annoying" but that does not justify a finding of contempt, The Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported. The court said Circuit Judge Anthony Johnson provided no evidence for his contempt finding and a order that McRoy's phone should be confiscated. "Contempt is an act tending to embarrass, hinder, or obstruct the court in the adminis- tration of justice, or to lessen the court's authority or dignity," the appeals court wrote in an opinion released Wednesday. "Contempt does not exist just because a judge feels aggrieved or vexed." McRoy said she allowed her sister to use the phone outside the courtroom and forgot to check when she returned it whether it was turned off. She was in the Orange County courtroom last year because a juvenile relative was appearing in court. She told the newspaper the judge "just went off" without giving her a chance to explain what happened. She said she hopes to get the phone back. -- Police: Thief tried deposit box fishing ------- ORANGEBURG, S.C. - Police in South Carolina said a would- be thief attempted to use fishing line and hooks to angle for bank deposit bags in a bank's night drop slot. Capt. Ed Conner of the Orangeburg Department of Public Safety said First Citizen's Bank employees retrieved the bags March 26 morning and discovered a hook embedded in one of the bags with fishing line dangling from the hook, The (Orangeburg, S.C.) Times and Democrat reported. The employees found two other hooks and putty, believed to have been used as a weight, in the deposit box. Police said bank security footage shows someone outside the facility at about 4:30 a.m. "It's under investigation," Conner said. "We'll be looking at the evidence to see if we can put a face with the image on video." He said the would-be thief picked the wrong method for the crime. "The security mechanisms at the bank's night deposit drop... it's impossible for someone to retrieve a bag," Conner told The Times and Democrat. "In other words, you can't go fishing for a night deposit bag." -- Hubby keeps house, wife takes roof ---------- MVUTJINI, Swaziland - A Swaziland woman said she followed through with a court order allowing her to remove all of her possessions from her ex-husband's house, including the roof. Busisiwe Ginindza of Mvutjini said she and local police officers went to the house Thursday and executed the order from Manzini Magistrate's Court to remove every- thing she owned from the home she used to share with his husband, The Swazi Observer reported. Ginindza, whose repossessed belongings include the roof of the house, said her husband kicked her out in July and would not allow her to take any of her belongings, despite the fact that most of the items in the house were purchased with her money. "I left my 14-year old son with him, but lately he has not been able to go to school because his father locked him out of the house," Ginindza said of her estranged husband, Sikelela Dlamini. -- Scottish teens get sleeping lessons ----------- GLASGOW, Scotland - A Scottish charity says it is holding classes on proper sleep habits for teenagers in a bid to boost the students' energy during the school day. Jane Ansell, director of charity Sleep Scotland, said the classes are being offered at Glasgow schools and officials hope the trial run will help develop a program to be offer- ed at schools across the country, The Daily Telegraph reported. Ansell said sleep deprivation has been linked to increased risks of depression and obesity. "You wouldn't send somebody to school without having the right amount of food, so why would you send them without enough sleep?" she said. The charity said the teenagers are being taught to avoid TV late at night and keep to a strict schedule allowing for at least nine hours of sleep per night. ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Roger :) NnNnN |~ `NNN' |~ NnNnN N"N NnNnN `NNN' NNN `NNN' , N"N N"N N"N . %%% %% . %%NN %% %%%N . %. N%% % % %% %% + %% %' %. % %% %% %% % ^ %% % %%% %%% %% % %%% % @ %% % _() / % %% %%+ %%%% } %% %% % { % ,%% %' } (_)|' @%% % %% < %% % %%% " %% %%.%% % %% %x% ][ %% { %% %% ', %% %cgmm My sentiments exactly. >"I'm 63 and I'm Tired" by Robert A. Hall I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired. I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it. I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money. I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood Entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe , the freedom of the press of China , the crime and violence of Mexico , the tolerance for Christian people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela . I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to. I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of U.S. Senators from Illinois. I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government. I'm tired of a news media that thinks Bush's fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama's, at triple the cost, were wonderful; that thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress; that picked over every line of Bush's military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his; that slammed Palin, with two years as governor, for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever. Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn't vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004. I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America , while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance. I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough. I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? *I think Gay people choose to be Gay*, I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana. I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.... Those are the citizens we need. I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years and still are? Not even close. So here's the deal. I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims, who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we'll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear. I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers; bums are bipartisan. And I'm tired of people telling me we need bipartisanship. I live in Illinois, where the "Illinois Combine" of Democrats has worked to loot the public for years. Not to mention the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet. I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor. Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing. I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems. Yes, I'm very tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my/your grandchildren, nieces/nephews. Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate. There is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us sends it on! This is your chance to make a difference. --- ...OK! Thanks Roger! =============================================================== >-->From JokeCentral: _.---,_ .' `'. \ __..-'\ }-"` \ /__,,..---.._| \ | |---..__ | / ``"-./ .'---...__ | .' ``"-./ ,--./...,,,__ / '--.'__ __```.-. /._ / ` ` ' `=/.-.|-._) | .-. .-. "\\ / || O| | O| ""=='_\ .-' '-'o '-' ""=\` `''--/- ""=-,\--._ .---|- ( ""=-. \` \ /`)"=."=|'-. '. _.-' ' "=|\| (`----` '="=|/ `-. "=/` '. =/ \ =| .-. |` "=| ( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\ \ ~. |'"="| _.-~ ) ; ~-.|.-._|_.-~ / / _-( /-.__ ( '._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ; jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~ /=" / | "==\ / = (_ \ "==\ ;="= `\_) =="\ Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy To go outside, and there perchance to stay Or to remain within: that is the question: Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather That Nature rains on those who roam abroad, Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet, And so by dozing melt the solid hours That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time And stall the dinner bell. To sit, to stare Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state A wish to venture forth without delay, Then when the portal's opened up, to stand As if transfixed by doubt. To prowl; to sleep; To choose not knowing when we may once more Our readmittance gain: aye, there's the hairball; For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob, Or work a lock or slip a window-catch, And going out and coming in were made As simple as the breaking of a bowl, What cat would bear the household's petty plagues, The cook's well-practiced kicks, the butler's broom, The infant's careless pokes, the tickled ears, The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will, He might his exodus or entrance make With a mere mitten? Who would spaniels fear, Or strays trespassing from a neighbor's yard, But that the dread of our unheeded cries And scratches at a barricaded door No claw can open up, dispels our nerve And makes us rather bear our humans' faults Than run away to unguessed miseries? Thus caution doth make house cats of us all; And thus the bristling hair of resolution Is softened up with the pale brush of thought, And since our choices hinge on weighty things, We pause upon the threshold of decision. -shakespaw -<>- _ / } /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb > - Supermodel Wisdom ON COURAGE "They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind." -- Cindy Crawford ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE "Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not my cleavage." -- Carole Mallory ON POVERTY "Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery." -- Beverly Johnson ON FATE "I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that." -- Christie Brinkley ON PSYCHOLOGY "I loved making 'Rising Sun'. I got into the psychology of why she liked to get strangled and tied up in plastic bags. It has to do with low self-worth." -- Tatjana Patitz ON ARRIVING "Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take." -- Kathy Ireland, star of 'Alien From L.A.' and 'Danger Island' ON INNER STRENGTH "I love the confidence that makeup gives me." -- Tyra Banks ON DEATH "Richard doesn't really like me to kill bugs, but sometimes I can't help it." -- Cindy Crawford ON INTRODUCTIONS "I think most people are curious about what it would be like to be able to meet yourself -- it's eerie." -- Christy Turlington ON COURTSHIP "The soundtrack to 'Indecent Exposure' is a romantic mix of music that I know most women love to hear, so I never keep it far from me when women are nearby." -- Fabio ON THE GRIEF PROCESS "When my Azzedine jacket from 1987 died, I wrapped it up in a box, attached a note saying where it came from and took it to the Salvation Army. It was a big loss." -- Veronica Webb ON TRAGEDY "The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles -- but I had on thick tights underneath." -- Naomi Campbell -<>- > What is an Eponyms you may wonder? No, I didn't make this one up, eponyms are words we use in everyday life that are based on peoples names, like: Bobbies - Sir Robert(Bobby) Peel, a British politician in 1850 organized a police force in England called bobbies. Braille - Named for Louis Braille of France, who invented it to teach his blind students. Cardigan - No joke! This type of sweater was first worn by none other than the Earl of Cardigan, in Great Britain. Derby - A stiff felt hat favored today by rappers is credited to Edward Stanley, twelfth Earl of Derby. Guillotine - Marie Antionette's favourite little toy came to be in 1789, by Dr.Joseph Guillotin of France. Leotards - In the 1800's a french gymnast, Julius Leotard, designed these little beauties. -<>- Morning Exercise ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times -<>- >"Words of Wisdom" The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. If you haven't much education you must use your brain. You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. When someone says, "Do you want my opinion?", it's always a negative one. The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. Pain and suffering are inevitable but misery is optional. -<>- {} oIIo oIIo || || I. || |: _||_ |: .' || `. |: / || \ |: | :: | |: )_ :: _( |: _)( :: )(_ |: ) ._)::(_. ( |: / II \ |: | .-.|| | |: \(___)( / |: hjw `.__\/__.' I' >Violinists The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!" "No need to panic," said a fellow bassist, "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled." A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion. "Well, of course," said her companion, "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded." ============================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes." The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." POOF! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari." POOF! There is a flash of light and a bright red, brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." POOF! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates. -<>- ."";._ _.---._ _.-"". /_.'_ '-' /`-` \_ \ .' / `\ \ /` \ '. .' / ; _ _ '-; \ ;'. _.' ; /\ / \ \ \ ; '._;._ .-'.--. | / | \0|0/ \ | '-. / /` \ | / .' \ | .---. \ | | | / /--' .-"""-. \ \/ \ | \ \ / / / ( , , ) /\ \ | / \ '----' .' | '-(_)-' | | '. / / `'----'` | '. | `'----'` jgs \ `/ '. , .' `-.____.' '.____.-' \ / '-' There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The buddy with the Doberman says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed." The man with the Doberman says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer says, "A Doberman?" He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good." The man at the door says, "Come on in." The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua??? They gave me a Chihuahua?!" -<>- NEWEST FLORIDA BUMPER STICKER Seen in Palm Beach... HONK IF YOU VOTED FOR OBAMA (IT'S THE BIG BUTTON IN THE CENTER OF YOUR STEERING WHEEL) -<>- A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town, which he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?" An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bed clothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel, and if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too!" -<>- A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The one in the middle." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" "I don't like her." ================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: The orthodontist and his assistants were removing my ten- year-old's dental appliance. Because it was cemented to the upper teeth, they had to use some pressure to release it. When it finally popped out, three baby teeth came out as well. My child was horrified at seeing the gaps. "Well," my child said to the staff gathered around, "who do I see about getting some dentures?" -<>- I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 10-month old nephew. I said, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapeno is not his favorite. -<>- ,=""=, c , _,{ /\ @ ) __ / ^~~^\ <=.,__/ '}= (_/ ,, ,,) \_ _>_/~ ~\_(/-\)'-,_,_,_,-'(_)-(_) -Naughty The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family waiting for the news, "We had twins!" The family was so excited, they immediately asked, "Who do they look like?" The father paused, smiled and said, "Each other." -<>- Chatting with my mother-in-law I asked, "Have you heard of this company that takes the cremated ashes of your loved one and then compresses the carbon into a diamond?" "Yes," she said, smirking. "It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'family jewels.'" -<>- "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Jennifer has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Jennifer, your mother wants to talk to you!" -<>- While doing renovations in our house, one of the workmen paused to look at a flattering photo of me wearing makeup and a fancy gown. I heard him let out a low whistle and ask my son, Joshua, "Who's that?" "That's my mom," Joshua answered. "Wow," the man said, "my mother doesn't look like that." "Yeah," my son said, "well, neither does mine." =============================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called: work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you’re keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls – family, health, friends, and integrity – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life. Excerpt from Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson -<>- ) ) __ ( __ (~( __ (~( \O\ )~) )O) )_) (O( (_(__ ( )_) ) )~)__ __ /O/ )~) ) (~( (_( (O( __ \O\ ) )_)(~( \_\ __ )O) ( __________ _ (~( __(_( __ _-' `-_ ,-----' | _ \O\<'~_`) ) )~) / *SNORT!* \ | // : | -' )_))^ \\ __(O( ___| MUHAHAHAHAHAH!!! | | // : | --- >__;` (~( )_) `-. mmWAHAHAHA!!!!! | | // : | -._ /\_\ \O\ \ YEEHAH!!! / `-----._| __ /__( \| )_) `--___________--' _/___\_ //)_`/( (| ||] _____[_______]_[~~-_ (.L)O) || [____________________]' (_(,/(~( ||| / )~) ,___,'./\O\ ||| \ (O(|,'______|( )_) ||| / )_) I==|| __ ||| \ __/_|| __||__)~) -----||-/------`-._/||-o-_o__(O(-- __ ~~~~~' ____ __ /_O_/.\_\ \~\ \_O_\ /~/__/_/O`.o. \O\ ____ /O/_\_O/_/ `.' . \_\ /_O_/ /_/\_O_\ \O\ ,o,' \_\ `.' Ool First you tell your friend that you are having an affair. Then your friend asks you... 'Are you having it catered???' THAT, my friend, is the definition of OLD! --- ...THAT Also is MY definition of the word PREPPIE! Who immediately thinks of 'catered'? - certainly not us poor middle income folks! Geesh! -<>- One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb... -<>- Q. Why is human flesh eating called cannibalism? A. The practice, also called anthropophagy, is from the Spanish word for the Caribs, a West Indian tribe known for their cannibalism. -<>- As I was relating an incident to my fifth grade students, one of the students frantically waved her hand. "Hold that thought," I told her, and finished my story. I then looked at the girl and asked what great thought she had wanted to share with the class. "Oh, never mind. It's too late," she replied. "The spider has already crawled down the front of your dress." To subscribe, send a blank mailto: scream_of_the_crop-subscribe@yahoogroups.com =================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Playing With Food http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/food.html Ten Life Tips http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetips.html Sand Sculpture Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart.html Car Show 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carshow2.html Look Who's Talking 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking3.html Pictures To Ponder: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ponder.html -<>- >-->From Our Friend Viv :) One from here... http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/days.html --- ...A Cute Reminder! Thanks Viv! -<>- >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) She sent us a forward of one we already have here... Real Pencil Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pencil.html --- ...A cool reminder! Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) ripped : TODO-TATTOO™ http://tinyurl.com/6ngmkv ripped : Slashdot iPad Review http://tinyurl.com/yc75olh ripped : iPad Peek - Hows Your Site Look ? http://www.ipadpeek.com/ --- ...Fantastic! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: So Much For Sensitivity http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkooi9.htm Sophisticated Robbers http://www.buffaloschips.com/mngr4.htm Sorry http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfk4.htm Sorry Lady http://www.buffaloschips.com/Sorry%20Lady.htm Sorry To Wake You http://www.buffaloschips.com/Sorry%20To%20Wake%20You.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================================ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "He was the world's only armless sculptor. He put the chisel in his mouth and his wife hit him on the back of the head with a mallet" -Fred Allen "I took a course in speed reading and was able to read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's about Russia." -Woody Allen "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -Joe Weinstein "Welcome to the show. It's Friday night! Don't feel bad, I had nowhere fun to go either." -Jimmy Kimmel "There are two kinds of people who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else." -Cyrus Curtis "I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from." -Al Franken I’m feeling great, and I have sex almost every day. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday… -- Jack LaLanne at 93 When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about. — Albert Einstein >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chrristian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Pass this on as it should be of interestt to all who served. The study was carried out in Austrialia on their Vietnam Veterans. ABC Nat. Radio Health Report Autralian Vietnam Vets: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/HealthReportVV.mp3 VV ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************