President's Day Smiles ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ ! \ _ /) ___ \O / ) / \/|) ) - | ./||\ ) ___ ___ ___ ( ) \___/ | \ [ ][ ] /\ | - /|\ |__\ | || | -- | | ejm97 " \_/ \_/ /|\ /|\ *~* HELP! We NEED 2009 Angels for the Web Site! >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2009 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is appreciated - even just 5 dollars! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! GOD'S MOST ABUNDANT BLESSINGS TO YOU! ================ GOT A Cool Forward? Easy Yummy Recipe? Miracle Story? Sweet poem? Funny clean Joke? A Godly Inspiration? SHARE IT - We like it, We Love It, We Can't Get enough! Send it to me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net I'll Share It and Gladly Give YOU Credit For It! :) ================ >-->In The 'Shangy" News :) _..._ ,s$$$s. .$$$$$$$s$$ss$$$$, $$$sss$$$$s$$$$$$$ $$ss$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ '$$$s$$$$$$$$$$$$' '$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' S$$$$$$$$$$$' '$$$$$$$$$' '$$$$$' ~*~ Happy Presidents Day! ~*~ '$$$' ; ; ; ', ; ,' ; ', ', ; ' If you are like me, however, you don't even want to think about our President. It is fitting that this day falls on our joke day and I spent most of it in the doctor's office enjoying the fine view of happy 'Presidents Day' people that were there. It seems we have another new policy at our family doctor. No more Mr. free credit. Payments will be subject to interest charges just like the bank. Just another sign of the day and times we are in. I wonder if Obama's new Stimulus bill has anything in it to help us out with this? Doubtful. My doctor's office has a nice new flat screen TV in the waiting room. If Obama gave my doctor anything to help the patients out with, it would probably have a clause that said no putting the TV on a Christian channel or any faith based show or any show that was any bit bias like most of TV is. So there goes any funds! Oh, well, another bite the bullet C'est La Vie thingy! #### * BANG ##*# / ###\ ___ ,- - BANG ####/ \ ,- - ####|- | ,- Computer's Are So Much Fun! BANG ###/ \_ L_ ##*# /' \ ####_ || | ####_\|\ / /\ ###(_`-./ / \ #### `-._/\ | #### | | #### / / #### / / \ #### | |\ \ #### Wny \ \ \ \ #### _\ \_\ \ #### (_____)____) ########################### I hope your Friday the 13th and Valentine's Day was more fun than mine! My son decided it was time to help my ailing computer out by repairing my windows. However, as usual, it is never so easy as that. He wound up having to reinstall my windows and had to give me a version of windows I didn't have before. Oh boy, oh joy! I didn't even dare look at it Friday. I got up the courage Saturday and spent my entire Valentine's Day having 'fun' getting all my software loaded back in and working again. Netscape was it's usual pain to get back! It is the most important however since it has all my archives in the form of emails that I use for the group and my web site. Without it, I am back scratching the internet for our material! I am still updating my computer software. Paul says that is normal since windows was off a CD and it had old stuff on it. Oh well, maybe by next Friday the 13th I'll have it all updated! Gotta Love the computer! -<>- __ .---. __ / ` .-.7,--. / `. .-''. -, , \ '--.- -; | ) / ,` / \ ,_) / '-. / ( ( | / .' ) \ '. `--,/ .---' ,-.| `--. / '-, -' .' .==,=; `-,.;--' / ,' _;--;| /_...=' || jgs || .==,=. ||/ '.\ ,||`'=...__\ || || ||, || || || Our Friend James sent us a photo I put up in the group. You can view it here: 1 Yellow Rose http://tinyurl.com/d3rbnv --- ...Nice! Thanks James! cc ,ccO=- cc | cc -=Occ | ; cc\ |/ cc \|,ccO=- ;=.|| cc __|||,-. `._\ -.__\ |/ ,||. |--| | | | | jrei | | / \ ,' `. ( ) `-.____.-' AND Our Friend Viv sent us a Funny Movie! I added it to our club here: Auction http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/files/ --- ...TeeHee! A Good One Viv! Thanks! -<>- /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ What's Better than |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ Fast Food? `-. \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH >REAL FOOD - From Our Friend Lynda :) She sent us an easy dinner recipe I have put up on our recipes on-line. She adds... We love it, Hugs, Lynda PinkeyB1014 @ aol.com Be sure to let her know how you like it! Check it out here... Easy PASTA BAKE By Lynda http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html --- ...Thank you Lynda - it sure looks yummy! ====================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Robert's Rules Of Computer Order __________ .'` | |`'. You will never have an extra blank disk. | '-----' | | | If you do bring along a blank disk, you | .--------. | won't need it. | |--------| | | |--------| | If you don't bring along a blank disk, it | |--------| | will be the only available opportunity to | ;--------; | obtain a copy of a hitherto unattainable jgs |__:________:__| and uniquely appropriate program. If someone else is watching while you are doing anything on the computer, anything at all, it will screw up (that's a technical term). The percentage chances of screwing up increase in direct proportion to the size of your audience. No matter how simple it seems to you, your explanation will be more than they want to know. You will amaze yourself at how much you know. You will amaze your mother at how much you know about computers. You will always have one disk envelope too few. Or too many. The only pieces of data you will ever lose are the ones you were going to save just as soon as you finished typing a couple more lines. _ _ /|| The update of your program will use the ( } \||D keys for something entirely different in | /\__,=_[_] this version than it did when you first |_\_ |----| learned it. | |/ | | jgs | /_ | | You will not understand it the first time you read it in the manual. You will understand it better the next time you read the manual. For no discernible reason. When you are late for an interview and need a last minute copy of your resume your printer will go down. It will always go down. It doesn't care. Nowhere in your repair manual will it ever tell you what you really need to do, which is to turn the darn thing off and get yourself a cup of coffee/tea. _) You will never know what a user file is. .--' __(__ The price of anything you buy will stay the /` | `\ same until the actual impact of your money | Q | on the bottom of the cash drawer, at which |___|___| time it will automatically re-list itself in | | next Thursday's paper at 30% less. | | | | Staring at the screen for 97 continuous \ / minutes will not necessarily reveal to you jgs '.___.' the secret location of any colon that should have been typed in as a semi. Or vice versa. It will always seem like your friend got a better deal. The 800 number will be busy. ============================================================ +---------------------- Bizarre Love ----------------------+ STORIES Peter the Great had his wife's lover executed and his head put into a jar of alcohol. She had to keep it in her bed- room. After having a two year affair with Catherine the Great, Gregory Aleksandrovich Potemkin remained a valued advisor to Catherine. He even helped her pick out future lovers. Cleopatra married two of her brothers and was the mistress of both Caesar and Mark Antony. Fernade Olivier lived with Picasso for seven years. They wanted to marry but Olivier couldn't find her estranged husband to divorce him. In the 1940's she found out he had died right after she met Picasso - 40 years earlier. ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend LostAndFound :) ,___. |-----| ============ / | OO ~\ ( ) 0 ) \_/-, ,-//-\\ ==== ||| | || -_/| | ||_ (____)) W< Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You Human, Failures keep You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going! -<>- _____ .---...-. ,' -. `. ,' _____...' / - _ - \ : .' _ _ \\ : ' _)' : | :-(_).(_):: (_ ;) | | -' || \ _ / ; | _ || `..___..' `-'..____.'`' ;._: _; :_ / \ SSt ,' `' `. SSt To Those of You Born 1930 - 1979 At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, please read what he said. Very well stated, Mr. Leno. TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside, playing....that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times,we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes... There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives “for our own good”. While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ? The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?' For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us ....go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us... pass this on. --- ...Aww, for the memories! Thanks Don! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Viv :) ,ae, ,88888e ,a888b.9888888i 888888888888888 88888888888888Y '8888888888888' "S888888888" unknown "7888888Y "e88j "Y >Friendship Heart I may not be the most important person in your LIFE. I just hope that when you hear my name you smile and say THAT'S MY FRIEND! Give this heart to everyone you care about including me if you care. Try to collect 5. It's not easy --- ...Sweet! Thanks Viv! -<>- ,,, _,_ _@_ _(_ _?_ >*< _/. .\_ _/- -\_ _/, ,\_ _/' '\_ _/a a\_ _/. .\_ (.\_o_/.) (.\_-_/.) (,\_e_/') (.\_^_/.) (.\_~_/') (.\_c_/.) (.`,.`'.') (.`,.'.'.) (.`'.,'.') ('.,'.`'.) (.'.,'.`.) (.,'.,'',) ('.`,'`,) ('.`,'',) ('.','.`) ('.,'.',) ('.,'.`.) (',.'`.,) ('.`,'`) ('.','`) (.'.,'.) ('.`.,') ('.','') (.'.'.') jgs `--'"` `--'"` `--'"` `--'"' `--'"' `--'"' >Red Envelope [edited] This would be good for all churches and groups to get behind. I don't know who wrote this, but it is a great idea!! Dear Friends and Intercessors: This afternoon I was praying about a number of things, and my mind began to wander. I was deeply distressed at the symbolic actions that President Obama took as he began his presidency. Namely, that he signed executive orders releasing funds to pay for abortions, [will issue an executive order lifting a ban on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research], and federal funding for contraception. I have been involved in the pro-life movement for nearly 20 years, and it pained my heart to see a man and a political party committed to the shedding of innocent blood. This man, and this party lead our country, but they do not represent me or the 54% of Americans who believe that abortion is wrong and should no longer be legal. As I was praying, I believe that God gave me an interesting idea. Out in the garage I have a box of red envelopes. Like the powerful image of the red LIFE tape, an empty red envelope will send a message to Barack Obama that there is moral outrage in this country over this issue. It will be quiet, but clear. Here is what I would like you to do: Get a red envelope. (You can buy them at Kinkos, Office Depot or at party supply stores.) On the front, address it to: President Barack Obama The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington , D.C. 20500 On the back, write the following message. This envelope represents one child who died in abortion. It is empty because that life was unable to offer anything to the world. Responsibility begins with conception. Put it in the mail, and send it. Then forward this email to every one of your friends who you think would send one too. I wish we could send 50 million red envelopes, one for every child who died before having a chance to live. Maybe it will change the heart of the president. Sent to me from a friend. --- ____ / _\ \ / / _\ \_ / / \ / L/ \ / ____ ~ _ \ _\ l \ / / \ \ / / \ \ \/_____ /l____\/ \_____> < ____/ \l unknown ...Thanks Viv - It is worth a try - we have to try something even if he'll just complain about the waste of paper for the trees. He seems to care more about nature then he does about human life! ============================================================== >-->In The WorldlyNews: >From OneNewsNow: Pro-marriage speech garners professor's profane wrath After being called a "fascist" by his professor, a Christian California student has filed suit against his college for violations of his free-speech rights. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Legal/Default.aspx?id=422144 --- ...Note the remark of the professor at the end of this report. Now I don't know about you, but like Bugs Bunny would say - "thems fightin words!" - I don't blame the student for filing suit - he dared him to! Christian radio - target of 'Fairness Doctrine'? While high-profile conservative commentators like Limbaugh and Sean Hannity have often been mentioned as "targets" of a reinstated "fairness" policy, Craig Parshall -- senior vice president and general counsel of the National Religious Broadcasters -- believes Christian radio is going to be the major target. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=420300 -<>- >[Politics]From Grassfire: + + Obama "Using Crisis" To Move America To Socialism! As we have reported, this "stimulus" bill launches the socialized healthcare program, forces America to adopt failed and expensive "green" energy and funnels billions upon billions into expanding government programs. + + Pork, Pork, and More Pork! And the bill is laden with liberal pork... Tax benefits for golf carts and electric motorcycles... $300 million for government employee company cars... $1 for ACORN-eligible block grants, $50 million for an arts endowment... $165 million for fish hatcheries... The list goes on and on. Ron De Jong and I just posted a video that exposes how this stimulus is radically moving America toward socialism. Go here to view: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=16292&RID=19540370 We have provided a list of the pork in the bill as well as links to download the bill, if you dare read it yourself. Go here: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=16293&RID=19540370 -<>- [Politics]They wonder why only 3 Republicans are for it... >From Liberty Counsel: Why the Stimulus is "Morally Wrong" Today, members of the House and Senate are rushing the stimulus through for a final vote. I have a simple message for Congress and the President… This is morally wrong! It is morally wrong to spend money -- and the government will spend over a trillion dollars when you consider the interest that must be paid -- that our children and grandchildren will be forced to pay back. It is morally wrong to use deception and trickery to fill a "stimulus" bill with liberal social programs. It is morally wrong to build clear anti-faith provisions into the bill that would force many public buildings to expel after-school Bible clubs and churches that rent facilities. It is morally wrong to funnel our taxpayer dollars to groups like Planned Parenthood in an effort to limit births… and then to brazenly proclaim it to be an economic stimulus! Mathew Staver, Founder and Chairman Liberty Counsel For more information, go to: http://www.libertyaction.org/297/petition.asp?pid=19426445 -<>- >From BizarreNews: .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------e:l `-""-' -- Hindu group developing cow urine beverage ------ HARDWAR, India - An official with India's oldest and largest Hindu nationalist movement said a new soft drink made from cow urine could hit store shelves by the end of the year. Om Prakash, head of the Cow Protection Department of the Hindu nationalist group Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, said "gau jal," or "cow water," is in the final stages of laboratory testing and would be made available to the public "very soon, maybe by the end of this year," The Times of London reported. "Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," Prakash said from his head- quarters in Hardwar. He said the unique selling point of the drink "will be that it's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins." Hindu tradition reveres cows and the urine and feces of the animals are often consumed to "purify" members of lower castes during rituals. The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh and offshoots including the Bharatiya Janata Party have been promoting cow urine since 2001 as a remedy for medical conditions including liver disease, obesity and cancer. Prakash said he expects his drink to be a major competitor with U.S. cola brands in India. "We're going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind," he said. "We may also think of exporting it." -- Record-setting fingernails broken ------------- SALT LAKE CITY - Authorities in Utah said a woman's finger- nails, certified as the world's longest by Guinness World Records, were broken in a four-car pileup. Salt Lake County sheriff's spokesman Don Hutson said Lee Redmond, who has been growing her fingernails without trimming since 1979, was a passenger in one of the cars and one of three people treated at a hospital for minor injuries after the crash, The Salt Lake Tribune reported Friday. Hutson said Redmond's record-setting nails were broken during the incident. Guinnessworldrecords.com states that Redmond's nails were measured at a total of 28 feet and 4.5 inches on Feb. 23 of last year. -- Man arrested after seeking handcuff help --------- BARNSTABLE, Mass. - Police in Massachusetts said a man who asked officers for help removing handcuffs wound up in another pair when officers discovered warrants for his arrest. Barnstable police said Allahmanamjad Barbel, 21, arrived at the police station at 2 p.m. Wednesday with a set of police-issue handcuffs dangling from one wrist, the Cape Cod (Mass.) Times reported. Barbel told officers that his younger sister had slipped the handcuffs onto his wrist during a children's party in Hyannis, Mass. He said he decided to ask police for help after his family was unable to locate a key or cut through the Smith and Wesson police- issue handcuffs. However, Barnstable police Sgt. Sean Sweeney said officers were suspicious and ran Barbel's name through the state warrant system. Officers were able to find a key to remove the cuffs from the 21-year-old's wrist, but those cuffs were soon replaced by a pair of the station's handcuffs when the search revealed warrants for driving with a suspended license, leaving the scene of an accident, threatening to commit a crime and making annoy- ing phone calls. "He asked if we used the cuffs he'd come in with, but no, we got a brand new set for him," Sweeney said. Police said they were unable to discover the origin of the handcuffs Barbel was wearing when he arrived. ======================================================== >-->From Laugh&Lift: "It's not 'God loves you if you're good.' It's not 'God loves you if He's having a good day.' It's 'God loves you!' Desperately. Passionately." - Rich Mullins, the "Awesome God" guy _.--._ \ ** / (<>) . ) ( . )\_.._/ /\ \_.._/( (*_<>_ _<>_*) )/ '' \ \/ / '' \( ' ) ( ' ( ) ) ( (<>) / ** \ /.-..-.\ The Lift The Man Who Walks on Water (By Marilyn Ferguson. Copyright 2005 Marilyn Ferguson. Used by permission. http://www.marilynspoetry.com) [Minor editing] Just as Peter on the lake I set out on a quest My boat is drifting out to sea God puts me to the test. The depth is deep, the width is wide A storm is setting in The waves are thrashing all about I feel a fear within. A figure looms, within the mist I tremble in the night He seems to walk on water My heart is filled with fright. "Fear not," says He, "Have courage," I do not bring you harm. For it is I who comes to save There's no need for alarm." He bids me walk on water His flowing robe, I see But I lose faith as I step out Upon the angry sea. My trust is gone, I start to sink I panic as I go I cry out "Lord, please save me!" Strong winds begin to blow. His staff is there before me His mighty hand comes out He plucks me from the churning sea Why did I ever doubt. Into the boat, the wind is still He calms the restless sea If He will soothe a violent storm He'll do the same for thee. Oh precious child of little faith You are His son or daughter Look to the One who calms the sea The Man who walks on water. -<>- .---. .---. ,';' `.';' `.. f :Bo. ` d88: `\ /d88P' `\ ; /d888P' `. ',d8&8P' : ;d8&7' | :8: | qx Valentine Quick Jokes I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day! Simple things like: - Open the door for her when she puts all tthe laundry in the washing machine, - Plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves ffrom room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine! -------- My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: "BE MINE." The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: "Thank you, but it's still BE MINE-US." -------- For the kid in all of us: Q. What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine's Day? A. I love you a ton! Q. What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine's Day? A. You mean a great dill to me! Q. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day? A. Let me call you Tweet heart! -------- A Clever Food Valentine Cabbage always has a heart; Green beans string along. You're such a Tomato, Will you Peas to me belong? You've been the Apple of my eye, You know how much I care; So Lettuce get together, We'd make a perfect Pear. Now, something's sure to Turnip, To prove you can't be Beet; So, if you Carrot all for me Let's let our tulips meet. Don't Squash my hopes and dreams now, Bee my Honey, dear; Or tears will fill Potato's eyes, While Sweet Corn lends an ear. I'll Cauliflower shop and say Your dreams are Parsley mine. I'll work and share my Celery, So be my valentine. -<>- Dentist Talk You know how hard it is to talk to your dentist when your teeth are being cleaned or you are getting a filling? Well, I decided I would make up a sort of sign language that you could use to express yourself without having to mumble. Below are 10 common things you might wish to say, numbered 1-10. These would be printed on a poster and mounted on the ceiling above the dentist chair. It would give you something to read since procedures can be boring. When a phrase seems appropriate, you would just hold up the corresponding number of fingers to express yourself. The dentist would not need to stop to ask you to repeat yourself and could fix the problem right away. 1. Everything is fine, but my nose itches. 2. When you get a chance, there seems to be spit running down my neck. 3. So, I guess you had garlic again for lunch today? 4. You realize that wasn't my tooth that you just poked with that incredibly sharp tool. 5. I would REALLY prefer you didn't do that again. 6. Could you please suction the chunk of debris that you missed before I gag? 7. Remember how I said I was numb? I think I may have been mistaken. 8. Wait a minute -- maybe I am allergic to latex. 9. Just so you know, if I don't get to take a break soon, I may bite you. 10. Please stop asking me stupid questions about myself or I will take that paper mask off your face. SUBSCRIBE send a blank email to: listsendinfo@laughandlift.com =========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: A friend of mine is responsible for alumni relations at his high-school alma mater. Last fall, a member of the Class of 86 returned the standard alumni questionnaire with this response: Marital Status - Not good Wife's Name - Plaintiff -<>- ,-""-. .-""-. / -. \/ -. \ ( ) \ / \ / `. ,' `. ,' hjw `.,' ,-"-,-"-. ( ) ". ." "._." hjw _ _ ( `' ) `.,' I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. -<>- Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher. I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately. "You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied. "I just threw my wife's credit cards in there." -<>- First I had to work late. Then I discovered that I'd locked my keys in the car. But the last straw was learning that roadside service couldn't get a locksmith to me for at least two hours. Finally the guy showed, looking exhausted. As he struggled with my door, I joked, "Do those Slim Jim tools come in purse-size?" "Yeah," he muttered. "They're called keys." =========================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| .----. / ( > | /| '--. ( ) ._ / || ]| `-. ) _/-.__.'`\ || ]| ::| ( .-'`-. \__ ) || ]| ::| `/ `-./ `. || ]| ::| _ | \ \ \ \| ]| .-' / \| \ \ \ \ L.__ .--'( | |\ `. / / \ ,---|_ \---------, | `\'. '. /`\ \/ .--._|=- |_ /| | \ '. '._ './`\/ .-' '. / | | | `'. `;-:-;`)| |-./ | | /_ `'--./_ ` )/'-------------')/) | \ | `""""----"`\//`""`/,===..'`````````/ ( | | | / `---` `===' / ) | / \ / / ( | | '------. |'--------------------'| ) | \ `-| | / | `--...,______| | ( | | | | | ) ,| | | | | ( /|| | | | | )/ `" / \ | | (/ jgs .' /I\ '.| | /) .-'_.'/ \'. | | / ``` `"""` `| .-------------------.|| `"` `"` Interesting out of office replies 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team. 4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. 6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over . . ) 7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response. 9. I've run away to join a different circus. 10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Jim. -<>- Two mechanical engineers from the upper peninsula of Michigan were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walks by and asks what they were doing. 'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Sven, 'but we don't have a ladder.' The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,' and walked away. Ollie shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!' Sven and Ollie will be working for the United States Government under the new job stimulus programs begin after January 20th of this year! =========================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Why My Son? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/why.html Love Thoughts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/love.html God's Almighty Hands http://www.geocities.com/jpw1936/hands/almightyhands.html Before They Were Big Time http://www.mentalfloss.com/quiz/quiz.php?q=48 Quit Smoking http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/quitsmoking.html Awesome Hotel Resort! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/qhotel.html Ice Sculpture Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ices.html -<>- >From TheMouth: Television Obscurities http://www.tvobscurities.com/ The Same Game http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/game.php?id=191 -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Cars Of 1904 http://www.tocmp.com/books/1904Cars/index.html Medical Library Association: Deciphering Medspeak http://www.mlanet.org/resources/medspeak/index.html Mountain Biking http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mountainbiking.html Road Rage http://www.monkeymeter.com/ Doggie Zone http://www.treshanley.com/cic/vaccines.html Kitty Korner http://catagility.com/ River Dance Monkies http://www.buffaloschips.com/hgfrtik.htm Salt Water http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdxsrt.htm Scuba Kitty http://www.buffaloschips.com/rfg5778.htm Shooting Star http://www.buffaloschips.com/dhskjsd.htm Slicing Fruit With Playing Cards http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkjdsk.htm Smooth Roll http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkj.htm No Chips today http://buffalosjokes.com/1127.htm Election DVD http://buffalosjokes.com/1126.htm Stop Procrastinating http://buffalosjokes.com/11129.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: There’s a difference between solitude and loneliness. I can understand the concept of being a monk for a while. – Tom Hanks "A new survey reported that 40 percent of people think it's a good idea to get engaged on Valentine's Day. The other 60 percent were men." - Conan O'Brien "The economy is in bad shape. So bad, I saw a Walmart executive shopping at Walmart." - Jay Leno "Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical." - Yogi Berra "I got a good tip from my stockbroker the other day. He said, 'For only 39 cents, I can super size those fries for you.'" -Jay Leno >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************