Problem At The Zoo... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This scorching hot new page is from our friends Linda and Geniann. It is one that will truly amaze you as you see more of God's wonderful creation around this awesome world of ours! Check this out here... | _ _ . | . x .|.|-|.| |\ ./.\-/.\-|.|.|.| ~~~|.|_|.|_|.|.|.|_|.|~~~ jim halat World's Most Spectacular Places 6! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces6.html --- ...Wow! Stunning! Love this series! Thanks Ladies! Our Next too hot to handle new page is from our friends LouiseAu, Linda, Geniann and PatDeE! It is sure tickle your funny bone and amaze you! The ingenuity used here is mind blowing! Check this one out here... ,--------._._._ / o ,--'"""` ` ` (___/G (__| (__| sdm : ; ; _,' '` Shaun Mead MacGyver - How To Do It 7! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver7.html --- ...An awesome series! Always good for some laughs! Thanks My Friends! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| >A Guide to U.S. Newspapers 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it. 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country. 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train. 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. 9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are democrats. 10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ October 30 is National Candy Corn Day and Mischief Night October 31 is Carve a Pumpkin Day, Halloween and Increase Your Psychic Powers Day November 1 is All Saint's Day November 2 is All Soul's Day, Deviled Egg Day, Look for Circles Day, Men Make Dinner Day and Plan Your Epitaph Day November 3 is Housewife's Day and Sandwich Day November 4 is Book Lovers Day and King Tut Day November 5 is Gunpowder Day and Guy Fawkes Day ======================================================= >-->Adult SMILES For Halloween :) __, ,____) __, ,____) (--| | (--| | |__| _, _ _ |__| _ || _ _ _ ,_ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| |(_|||(_)(_|_)(/_(/_| | ( | | ,_| ( |_, .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. >Things I Heard On Halloween That Sounded Dirty But Weren't: , , /(.-""-.)\ |\ \/ \/ /| | \/ =. .= \/ | \( \ o\/o / )/ \_, '/ \' ,_/ / \__/ \ \,___/\___,/ ___\ \|uu|/ /___ /` \ .--. / `\ jgs / '----' \ 10. She's a goblin! 9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack. 8. Let me see your bag . . . . OH!-You're having a great night! . '.'.*. .*.'.' . *. '. \ \ * * / / .' .* *._ '. \*88888 88888*/ .' _.* *._ '-. *8*___~*8*~___*8* .-' _.* * '--.8.-~` ~-Y-~ `~-.8.--' * '--.___*/ .----. .----. \*___.--' * 8| \____/ _ \____/ |8 * jgs '---.|\ / \ /.---' ||'-----' '-----' || || || || || || || |/ 7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head. 6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch 5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer. ______________ .-' `-. (____________________) ( b o o ! ) jgs ( `----------------' ) `------------------' 4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts. 3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth, 2. You scared me stiff! 1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor! -<>- .-. heehee /aa \_ __\- / ) .-. .-. (__/ / heehee _/oo \ _/ ..\ / \ ( \v /__ ( \ u/__ / \__ \/ ___) \ \__) \_.-._._ ) .-. / \ / \ `-` / ee\_ / \_ __/ \ __\ o/ ) \_.-.__ ) ( _._.-._/ hoho (___ \/ '-' jgs '-' / \ _/ \ teehee ( __.-._/ '-' >Halloween Definitions Boogieman: The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose. Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat. .'` `""--.._..--""` `'. / .-""-"-""-. \ | / \ | \, | .--.-.--. | ,/ (_'- |` > `| -'_) / | < | \ | (__..---..__) | | (`|\o_/ \_o/|`) | | \( > )/ | | [>=| --- |=<] | | ,\__\ /__/, | |.____.|\==='-'===/|.____.| \_____;_\=======/_;_____/ | _)'.===.'(_ | ; \-._\_/_.-/ ; /\_\_\_\ () /_/_/_/\ '-.._____.-'-._____..-' | /`\ | |_ | | _| _.;____ | | ____;._ jgs /` `| |` `\ '------'--' '--'------' Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer. Full Moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge. Goblin: How you eat the Snickers bars you got for Halloween. .-""""-. / - - \ | .-. .- | | \o| |o ( \ ^ \ |'. )--' /| / / '-. .-'`\ \ / /'---` `---'\ \ '.__. .__.' `| |` | \ \ '--. '. `\ `'---. | jgs ,__) / `..' Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin. Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week. .--. .--. | = o\ | = o\ \= =_/ \= =_/ )= \____ )= \____ ; = _|__-\ ; = _|__-\ |= ----.\ |= ----.\ ('.==| ('.==| / \=\=\ / \=\=\ _.' /=/\=\_ _.' /=/\=\_ _jgs_..-' /__) \__)__..-' /__) \__) Mummy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee. Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking. .-. (e.e) (m) .-="=-. W // =T= \\,/ () ==|== () \ =V= M(oVo) // \\ // \\ () () \\ || jgs \' '| ==" "== Skeleton: Any supermodel. __.......__ .-:::::::::::::-. .:::''':::::::''':::. .:::' `:::' `:::. .'\ ::' ^^^ `:' ^^^ ':: /`. : \ :: _.__ __._ :: / ; : \`: .' ___\ /___ `. :'/ ; : /\ (_|_)\ /(_|_) /\ ; : / .\ __.' ) ( `.__ /. \ ; : \ ( { } ) / ; : `-( . ^"^ . )-' ; `. \ .'<`-._.-'>'. / .' `. \ \;`.';/ / .' jgs `._ `-._ _.-' _.' .'`-.__ .'`-._.-'`. __.-'`. .' `. .' `. .' `-. .-' `. Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with. Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee. -<>- |\-/| =( )= / \ | | / \ _\ _/._ .' `))` '. / (( , \ ; , \) , ; ; /c\ , /c\ | | /_\ | | |\ , , , , /| | \ \_`.`.`.`.`_/ / jgs '.____.___.____.' >Top Ten Reasons You Won't Win the Halloween Costume Contest [Et-Ahems!] 10. After your roommate insisted on being the front legs, you began to suspect that a burrito dinner wasn't such a good idea. 9. "Hey! Blue dress with a stain and a cigar! Why didn't I think of that?" 8. You can't get the zipper on your Bill Clinton costume to stay down. 7. Looks like "Viagra Man" will be spending Halloween in jail for indecent exposure. __ __ /_ _^^_ _\ _____|________|______ `=====.'""""""'.=====` / /a /a \ .-. | /\ | <" ) \ / / \ .`\, _'. \/\/\/ .'_ \ \_\ ./,' '-.\\'-------' \`------'/ '--""---'//.-' ###'.-'/________ \/""""\/ ________\'-.'### '/` \ : / `\` | | \ : | | \ \_____:_____ / [I=I=[_]I=I] / | \ / |_ \ / /\ \ / /##\ \ | ,/ ## \, | \ \ ## / / \ \ ## / / \ \##/ / jgs \ /\/\ / __,\_/X##X\_/.__ '.'/|\\XX//|\'.` '/'|.\##/,|`\' ## ## ## \ ## / / \ , \ \\##// , / /, /. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 6. Something in her eyes tells you there was an inherent flaw in your plan of dressing up as the hostess's dead husband in order to get laid. 5. The Bride of Frankenstein had big, pointy hair and a small round bottom, not the other way around. 4. 'Cause you should know that wearing a white sheet in Atlanta could only lead to getting your butt whupped, Homeboy. 3. Your "Naked Linda Tripp" costume is actually more nauseating than scary. 2. The judges wrongly interpreted your "Liposuction Byproduct" costume as a "Bowl of Tapioca Pudding" costume. 1. *Nobody* likes a farting clown. , ^V^ / \ __ __ (`\ / \ |__| /\ |__)|__)\ / `\`\ / \ | |/^^\| | | `\`\ / \ _ __ __ `\`\ _/ \_ |__| /\ | | / \| ||_ |_ |\ | `\`\ (_____________) | |/^^\|__|__\_/|/\||__ |__ | \| `\`\ >>>>"""""""<<<< `\`\<<<< (o) (o) >>>> `\>>>> ,/ <<<< .'``'. ... <<<<< {__, >>>>> :o o `....'` ; >>>>>\ ___ /<<<<< `.O :' ^V^ <<<<<< \ / >>>>>> `': `. _ >>>>>>>`U--' <<<<<< `:. `. / ) <<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>> : `. `. / / >>>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<< `..'`... `. / / /\ `\`\ `... `. / / .-```-. / ^`-. `\`\ ``... `. \ \ / \_/ (|) `o `\`\ `````. \ \ / .-. \\ _ ,--' `\`\___ \ \/ / ) \( `^^^ `\_/ `\\, \ \/ ( ) | .\`/\\ ^V^ \ ) ) / \\`\\//\\\ ) /__ | (__ jgs `\--'/\`\\ (___))) (__))) \^^\`\\`\ `\\`\\`\` ============================================================ >-->From GoodCleanFun: ______ .-" "-. / \ | | |, .-. .-. ,| | )(__/ \__)( | |/ /\ \| (_ ^^ _) \__|IIIIII|__/ | \IIIIII/ | \ / jgs `--------` >Chemistry Final Exam Four friends were taking Chemistry at the University of Alabama. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid "A". These four guys were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some friends. They had a great time. However, with hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Alabama until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found their professor after the final to explain to him why they missed the exam. They told him that they went up to the University of Tennessee for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back, and didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time, so they were late in getting back to campus. The professor thought this over and told them they could make up the final on the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day for the final. The professor placed them in separate rooms, and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was worth 5 Points. It was something simple about Molarity & Solutions. "Cool," they thought. "This is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were not prepared, however, for what they saw on this page. It said: (95 Points)- Which tire ?? -<>- >Natural Laws "The Law of Volunteering" If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. "The Law of Avoiding Oversell" When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. "The Law of Reality" Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose. "The Law of Self Sacrifice" When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. "Barnes' Law" Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. "Law of Probable Dispersal" Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. "Law of Volunteer Labor" People are always available for work in the past tense. "Conway's Law" In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. "Law of Cybernetic Entomology" There is always one more bug. "Heller's Law" The first myth of management is that it exists. "Osborne's Law" Variables won't; constants aren't. "Main's Law" For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. "Berg's Second Law" If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization. -<>- >Anthill Golfing Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golf ball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle. Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?" The other ant said, "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on that ball." -<>- >Aging Thoroughbred A women was considering buying an aging thoroughbred but wanted a veterinarian's opinion of the horse before finalizing her deal. When the vet had completed his examination, she asked, "Will I be able to race him?" The veterinarian looked at the woman, then at the horse. "Sure," he replied, "and you'll probably win!" -<>- >Snacking on Peanuts A mother and her adult daughter sat at the kitchen table. Mom was eating peanuts one after another. Finally the daughter said: "Mom, you'd better stop eating those. They're fattening." The mother thought about this for a moment, then smiled. "I don't have to worry," she said. "None of my clothes fit anyway." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .-. .-. .--' / \ '--. '--. \ _______ / .--' \ \ .-" "-. / / \ \ / \ / / \ / \ / \| .--. .--. |/ | )/ | | \( | |/ \__/ \__/ \| / /^\ \ \__ '=' __/ |\ /| |\'"VUUUV"'/| \ `"""""""` / `-._____.-' jgs / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ ,-' ( ) `-, `-'._) (_.'-` >SMILES A Hassidic family is most concerned that their 30-year-old son is unmarried. So they call a marriage broker and ask her to find their son a good wife. The broker comes over to their house and spends a long time asking many questions of the son and his parents as to what they want in a wife/daughter-in-law. They give her a long shopping list of requirements. The marriage broker takes a long time looking and finally asks to visit the family again. She tells them of a wonderful woman she has found. She says she's just the right age for the son...she keeps a Kosher home...she regularly attends Schul* and dovens** by heart...she is a wonderful cook... she loves children and wants a large family and, to crown it all off, she's gorgeous. After hearing all this, the family is very impressed and begins to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future. At this point the son gets the courage and asks, "Is she also good in bed?" And the marriage broker answers, "That I'm not sure. Some say yes...some say no." -------- "My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth." "Really? What did he get?" "Fifteen years." -------- Linda meets up with Jill as she is picking her car up from the mechanic. Linda asks, "Everything ok with your car now?" Jill replies, "Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid." -------- A young boy of four was going into the hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate that he'd be gone for a while to have surgery. On the day he was admitted, his mother asked the doctor privately if he could also please circumcise her boy while he is asleep. The doctor agreed. The boy woke up and was very sore down there for several days. After about a week he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he was also going to have to have his tonsils out soon. He asked him to tell him about the surgery. The little boy replied 'all I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you think they are.' -------- The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog was overweight and needed some exercise. "You need to make sure the dog runs around," the doctor said. "Try playing a game of fetch the ball." "I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said. "Why not?" the doctor asked. "Because," she replied, "He can't throw; duh." -------- A difficult independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. She replied in crazed anger and without hesitation, "I can't throw that far!" -------- A fellow evidently under the influence was trying desperately to catch a train back to his suburban home. Three times he got on the wrong train. Each time he was told that he would have to take another train. When he boarded a fourth train he slumped down in a seat beside a clergyman, whose eyes, ears and nose told him that this new passenger had been drinking too much. He told our besotted friend: "Brother, may I tell you that you are traveling the rough and rocky road to damnation." To which the drunk replied: "Don't tell me I'm on the wrong train again!" -------- A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now? -------- A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the Express lane, where the clerk was talking on the telephone, his back turned to her. "Excuse me," she interrupted, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?" The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked up and down at her figure. He smiled and wowed, "Not ba-a-ad!" -------- A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist. "So who did you see before coming to me?" asked the important doctor. "My local general practitioner, Dr. Cohen." "Your GP?" scoffed the doctor. "What a waste of time! Tell me, what sort of useless advice did Cohen give you?" "He told me to come and see you." -------- A woman walked into a pet store. "I haven't got much money," she told the clerk. "Would you let a kitten go cheap?" "I'd let them, ma'am," the clerk said. "But they'd prefer to meow --- ...Oh Gee! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Karen :) _.---._ .' `. :) (: \ (@) (@) / \ A / ) ( \"""""/ `._.' .=. .---._.-.=.-._.---. / ':-(_.-: :-._)-:` \ / /' (__.-: :-.__) `\ \ / / (___.-` '-.___) \ \ / / (___.-'^`-.___) \ \ / / (___.-'=`-.___) \ \ / / (____.'=`.____) \ \ / / (___.'=`.___) \ \ (_.; `---'.=.`---' ;._) ;|| __ _.=._ __ ||; ;|| ( `.-.=.-.' ) ||; ;|| \ `.=.' / ||; ;|| \ .=. / ||; ;|| .-`.`-._.-'.'-. ||; .:::\ ( ,): O O :(, ) /:::. |||| ` / /'`--'--'`\ \ ' |||| '''' / / \ \ '''' / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ /.' `.\ (_)' `(_) \\. .// \\. .// \\. .// \\. .// \\. .// \\. .// jgs \\. .// ///) (\\\ ,///' `\\\, ///' `\\\ ""' '"" >Quotes on Dieting: No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could Do is run for public office." -- George Bernard Shaw quotes (Irish literary Critic, Playwright and Essayist. 1925 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1856-1950) "I've found without question that the best way to lead others to a more plant-based diet is by example - to lead with your fork, not your mouth." -- Bernie Wilke "Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini Bread, and pumpkin pie." -- Jim Davis quotes (American Actor. 1915-1981) "Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet." -- Albert Einstein quotes (German born American Physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. 1879-1955) "The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook" -- Julia Child "I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave Me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our Humanity, our love and honesty. -- Woody Allen Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. -- English Proverb I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge. ~ Paula Poundstone I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me That they are wonderful things for other people to go on. ~ Jean Kerr, "Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall," The Snake Has All the Lines, 1958 Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Depart- ment at Princeton, "You have to exercise for a week to work off the Thigh fat from a single Snickers." ~ Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50 As for food, half my friends have dug their graves with their teeth. ~ Chauncey M. Depew Blubbergasted, adj. Appalled over how much weight you have gained. ~Author Unknown I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. ~ Erma Bombeck I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened The door. It made me hungry for pork chops. ~ Marie Mott Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose A half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times. ~ Randy Glasbergen --- ...LOL! Excellent! Thanks Karen! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Judge Jeanine: After Russian Dossier Funding, Time to 'Lock Her Up' http://tinyurl.com/y8xoro4o President Trump Takes Action Against the Nation's Opioid Crisis http://tinyurl.com/ybyb9g8n U.S. ECONOMY NOTCHES SOLID 3% GROWTH, DESPITE HURRICANES (and Obama Administration kept saying it couldn't be done - we'd just have to accept under 3% GDP as our Nation's new norm! HAH! - Trump is proving that with God, all things are possible!) Josh Mitchell at the Wall Street Journal reports the “U.S. economy posted its best six-month stretch of growth in three years despite two hurricanes.” GDP growth in the third quarter bested analyst estimates and was the first time since mid 2004 when “the economy strung together two quarters of at least 3% growth.” http://tinyurl.com/y9z9rvhw Concerning tax reform, Jane Timken, chairman of the Ohio Republican Party, comments on Cleveland.com “Ohio Republicans support this [tax] plan because it offers a once-in-a-generation opportunity to usher in a new era of economic growth.” Just like how America saw sustained growth after the Reagan tax cuts in 1986, “It’s time for Ohioans to benefit from a roaring economy again,” Timken concludes. http://tinyurl.com/yagq3897 On The Obama IRS Scandal - CBS News reports on the Justice Department’s entry into settlements on two cases involving groups whose tax-exempt status was “inappropriately delayed” by the IRS during the 2010 and 2012 elections. Attorney General Jeff Sessions commented “There is no excuse for this conduct,” and he hopes “today’s settlement makes clear that this abuse of power will not be tolerated,” CBS News concludes. http://tinyurl.com/yb6jwfbh YOU’RE FIRED! Trump’s New IRS Pick - Draining the swamp... http://tinyurl.com/y78rl97x On Trump Russian Collusion - The Washington Times Rowan Scarborough pens the “Democrats have been indirectly colluding with Moscow disinformation to bash the Trump team,” after falsely accusing President Trump’s presidential campaign for doing the exact same thing. http://tinyurl.com/ycfe6jzr Mueller Called To Resign For This Reason - This makes sense http://tinyurl.com/yaqoblc7 -<>- >From Our Friend Victor: This is Horrible! Millions could starve to death within months in Democratic Republic of Congo, UN warns http://tinyurl.com/ycfpc4zp Fentanyl is an opioid 50 times more powerful than heroin. There's a legal, Food and Drug Administration-approved version. But labs in China are churning out cheap versions of fentanyl that dealers are selling on the streets mixed with fillers, heroin or other drugs. Most of the opioids are laced with fentanyl and heroine so you become addicted to harder drugs real fast. The problem is not the kind of opioids most people get - it is the opioids on the street that the government needs to crack down on - not ones people get legally. Fentanyl Adds A New Terror For People Abusing Opioids http://tinyurl.com/lbdlxb2 --- ...I totally agree! Thanks Victor! I think China may have it out for us! I keep having that picture in my mind from the news where a young couple was found dead in their car - slumped over in the front seats from an overdose and their little toddler baby was still in the car seat in the back. So tragic! This is getting all too common! http://tinyurl.com/hwcv99d And another... http://tinyurl.com/hrsexqr And Another... http://tinyurl.com/y7jdrz3o -<>- >From BizarreNews: A 10-year-old boy is accused of stealing his mother s car from their Cleveland home on Hadley Avenue and leading police on a high-speed chase. Authorities say the chase itself began in Westlake and ended at mile marker 121 on the Ohio Turnpike, which is near Sandusky. At times, the boy drove at speeds up to 100 mph along the Turnpike, according to Highway Patrol Lt. Richard Reeder of the Milan post. After making eye contact with the boy during the chase, a trooper signaled him to pull over. The boy shook his head no, according to authorities. After going off the side of the roadway, a cruiser crashed into the vehicle and brought the chase to an end as the boy tried to reenter the Turnpike. The boy was combative after the chase concluded, allegedly spitting and kicking at authorities. Cleveland police say this is the "second incident" involving the same child. -<>- A man offering free hugs in New York City, brutally attacked a young woman for refusing to accept a hug, according to New York Police Department. 25-year-old Jermaine Himmelstein hangs out in Union Square, where he offers passersby free hugs. Last week, a young woman and her mother were walking in Union Square, where Himmelstein approached them and offered the young woman a hug. When she refused, he walked away. Moments later, Himmelstein approached the woman from behind and punched her in the face, knocking off her glasses. Himmelstein then fled the scene. Himmelstein was later arrested and charged with one count of assault. This was not the first time that Himmelstein attacked a woman for refusing to accept a hug. Last year, Himmelstein punched a 21-year-old woman of Canada, who was visiting Manhattan, for refusing to accept a free hug. The woman who was identified as Sophie Violene Dauvois, suffered a black eye, cuts, and bruises. There seems to be a pattern here. Himmelstein was arrested in that case for assault, but prosecutors dropped the charge because he was mentally unfit to stand trial. I think I have a better business model; start offering free punches in the face, and when people refuse give them a hug. *-- Giant Glowing Ball Definitely Not UFO - Probably --* Russia has been hit by a wave of reports of a giant UFO in the night sky with spectacular pictures of an enormous glowing ball illuminating northern Siberia. The extraordinary scene, which was almost certainly NOT a portal to an alternate dimension created by a secret government experiment, was captured by photographer Sergey Anisimov in the town of Salekhard which straddles the Arctic Circle. "My first thought was about a powerful searchlight, but the speed of changing everything around changed the idea of what was happening," said Anisimov. "The ball began to turn into an arc and gradually dissipated." While the source of the light has not been confirmed, some have suggested that it was the trace of four rockets launched by the Russian military that caused this extraordinary phenomenon in the night sky. That, or alien death ray technology. *-- Woman Celebrates 94th Birthday Skydiving --* A great-grandmother in Pennsylvania celebrated her 94th birthday by crossing skydiving off of her bucket list. Eila Campbell of Williamsport decided to take the 10,000-foot plunge because she might not "make it for another year." Campbell was joined by her granddaughter, Sara Schuelke, and great-granddaughter Jess Fox for the dive over Hazleton. "This was her bucket list and there was no way I was missing the most incredible matriarch jumping for one of the greatest families," Schuelke said. "I wasn't going to miss it." Campbell was thrilled by the experience and said said it won't be her last time skydiving. "The free fall is kind of a 'wow.' The wind is so terrific. It was great and I loved it. I'll do it again," she said. *-------------- Pumpkin Paddlers --------------* An Oregon city hosted an unusual race when paddlers climbed into hollowed-out giant pumpkins for the 14th annual Pumpkin Regatta. The event in Tualatin featured thousands of spectators braving the rain to watch racers, many in elaborate costumes, padding their hollow pumpkin boats across the water. The first race pitted growers against sponsors, while subsequent races featured police officers, firefighters and pumpkin-paddling members of the public. The event featured one particularly elaborate pumpkin boat carved to look like a giant duck. The pumpkins converted into boats for the race were supplied by the Pacific Giant Vegetable Growers. *-- You Really Can Get Everything from Amazon --* A Florida couple who ordered some storage totes from Amazon said their package arrived with a little something extra -- 65 pounds of marijuana. The Orlando woman said she and her fiance ordered four 27-gallon storage totes from Amazon recently so they could put some items in storage. She said they were immediately suspicious when the packages arrived. "They were extremely heavy, heavier than you would think from ordering four empty bins," said the woman, who did not want to be identified by name. She said the cause of the extra weight became clear from the smell when they opened the boxes. "When the first officer got here, she was in disbelief," the woman said. The boxes contained the plastic bins the couple ordered, but the totes themselves contained boxes filled with a total 65 pounds of marijuana. The marijuana was turned over to police and the couple spent more than a month attempting to get answers from Amazon in a series of email exchanges. Amazon said it is cooperating with law enforcement to investigate the unusual incident. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) =/\ /\= / \'._ (\_/) _.'/ \ / .''._'--(o.o)--'_.''. \ /.' _/ |`'=/ " \='`| \_ `.\ /` .' `\;-,'\___/',-;/` '. '\ /.-' jgs `\(-V-)/` `-.\ ` " " ` >A Problem at the Zoo A policeman brought four boys before a judge. "They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor," he said. "Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency. Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong." "My name is George," said the first boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen." "My name is Pete," said the second boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen." "My name is Mike," said the third boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen." "My name is Peanuts," said the fourth boy! --- ...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks Bunni! ============================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: _ / ) / / / / /\ / / .-```-. / ^`-. \ \ / \_/ (|) `o \ \ / .-. \\ _ ,--' \ \/ / ) \( `^^^ \ \/ ( ) \ ) ) / jgs ) /__ | (__ (___))) (__))) The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!" "Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase." -<>- A woman was talking to a co-worker, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything away, I am always going around the house cleaning up after him." The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'" The first woman asked, "Did it help?" Her co-worker replied, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since." -<>- A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dead to the world, dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." "OK," says his wife as she gets up and unplugs the TV. -<>- I was in small-claims court when I listened in on the case of a woman who held a good job but still had trouble paying her bills on time. "Can't you live within your income?" asked the judge. "No, Your Honor," she said. "It's all I can do to live within my credit." -<>- While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help. "The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'" "Monogamy," he answered. -<>- "The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug. "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested. "I just don't think I can do that to my wife." "Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!" So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." "Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried it so many times and it's never worked." -<>- >The Down Side of Cubicles: * Being told to "Think outside the box" when I'm in the box all day. * Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me. * Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire. * That nagging feeling that if I press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese. * Lack of rafters for the noose. * My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right. * Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra without comment. * Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off. * 23 power cords, 1 outlet. * Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds. * When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me. * Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out. -<>- At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is having friends. At age 16 success is having a drivers license. At age 20 success is having sex. At age 35 success is having money. At age 50 success is having money. At age 60 success is having sex. At age 70 success is having a drivers license. At age 75 success is having friends. At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants. It all comes full circle, whether you like it or not. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: __..--, .-' / .` / / | /==========| _______/___________|______ '-------<<<<<<<<<<<<<\------' ,--'a <<<<<<<<<<<< (___. >>>>>>>>>>> .--'--' <<<<<<<<<<< `--,___,>>>>>>>>>> _,-' '. _.--'' _.-' \ .' _.-' \ \ (`'--..__ /'-,__.' ,-~~`. | `'--..__`'--..__ ,' `- | `'--..__/ .' / | , / ,\/.___ `-._ |\ ('-.\|=-._`=-._ jgs / (`-.__/-`-,___;-.>/=-._=-._=._ _/-` | / ( /|'_=-._=-._ /___/Y_/-` | `=-._=-._= /___/Y =-. >EXCUSES FOR MISSING WORK **~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not s showing up for work. Okay? **~ I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet... **~ I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant. **~ Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling. **~ I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information. **~ The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I'm startled. **~ The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. **~ I prefer to remain an enigma. **~ I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. **~ I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian. **~ I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates. **~ I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share. **~ I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead. **~ I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early. -<>- ___ .' `"-._ / , `'-.-. / /`'. ,' _ \ `-' `-. ,' ,'\\/ \, ,' ee`-. / ./ ,(_ \ , (_/\\\ \__|`--' || ///\\| \ || ////||-./`-.} .--|| / `-.__.-`_.-.| | '._,-'`|___} `; / '. |/ || ,;'` | '.__,.-` || ':, | | || ,;' / / _,.||oOoO.,_ | | \-.O,o_O..-/ / / / \ | / / \ | | | , | / | \ ) ( ) / jgs | \ ,'.(:, ),: (_.'. / /'.' ="`""="="=="= '. `'"---'-.__.'"""` ` "" "" `"" >You Work in Corporate America if... ** You sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies. ** Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro. ** Your resume is on the cloud from your iphone in your pocket. ** Your biggest loss from a system crash is your best jokes. ** You occupy a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. ** Its dark when you drive to and from work. ** Free food left over from meetings is your main stapple. ** Being sick is defined, as can't walk or you're in the hospital. ** Your relatives and family describe your job as, 'works with computers.' ** The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube. -<>- * don't drink and drive * '. `~~`~`~~^`~~`~^~^`~~`~~`~^~`. .` / `> ' . ' ". _ '-"` . ` ' . | . ' / .' ,'~^~^~^`^~~^`^~`~~~^~~~^; ' ' | .-' \ ` : ` . "| /| : | . | | / | ' " | __.--~\ | | : . | `~--.__/ | . ' | \ | .' | ' "| _.-") \_| . _ .|.-"_.-" / \______// |.-" / \___/_ \ | .| / | /\/ /" | / | ./ / | _.( |_ \__/ ' '| __ _.-"_.-\ / \: | . | _.=~\ _\.-"_.-' `) \`.=\ .' | _.=~_.=~\\.-\-" / | \=\__ | | .=~_.=~_\\_/ / `) \ __) '| =~_.=~_.=` ( / |` . | ~_.=~ )__/'| ' " '| | . " | ' .| '-"_'"-'_"'-_'"-_''_"-"-_"-\ \/' ' . '`\/"/- '"-_-"'_ -_ --"-"_jgs_""-_'"--"'_-"-'\\/.\\' / /".\,//\//'-"-_'"-"'_ -"-'_-"_-"-_"-"'_'-"-"_``"-`"_`'""-`''""'-_'"-"-_"'"- >Things That Make You Go Hummmm.... ** Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"? ** Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? ** Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? ** If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? ** Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? ** If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? ** Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs. ** What do you call male ballerinas? ** Why ARE Trix only for kids? ** If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? ** Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? ** If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? ** If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? ** If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ** Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? ** Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? ** Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? ** Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window. ** Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? -<>- GREAT PUMPKIN IS COMIN' TO TOWN (Sung to the tune Santa Claus is Coming to Town) .--. Oh, you better not shriek, you better not groan, /`-'/ You better not howl, you better not moan, .----,_| (__ Great Pumpkin is coming to town! { ="""`/`""`__ `'-. /`---'`_\ /_ ' \ He's going to find out | ' / \ / \ ' | from folks that he meets, | . / _| | _\ . | Who deserves tricks and who deserves treats; | \(o/ \(o/ | Great Pumpkin is coming to town! | ,__) /\ (__, | / |\ \/ /| \ He'll search in every pumpkin patch, | | '._ _.' | | haunted houses far and near; | \ `|_| / | To see if you've been spreading gloom, | ' `\ /` ' | or bringing lots of cheer! | . \-.--/ . | \ . '--' . / So you better not shriek, you better not groan, '-...-'._ _.'-...-' You better not howl, you better not moan; jgs `` Great pumpkin is coming to town!! >** TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE IN A BAD CHURCH ** 10. The church bus has gun racks. 9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-Pastor. 8. The Bible used is the "Dr. Seuss Version". 7. There's an ATM in the lobby. 6. The choir wears leather robes. 5. Worship services are B.Y.O.I.: "Bring Your Own Idol". 4. The only song the organist knows is "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida". 3. Worship Time is a karaoke machine and an open microphone. 2. When you enter the sanctuary, the ushers ask, "Smoking or Non-smoking?" 1. No charge to get in, but communion is a two-drink minimum. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) World Of Peacocks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peacock.html Casa Batllo - House Of Bones http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hbones.htm Extreme Pumpkin Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin.html Darvaza - Door To Hell! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/darvaza.htm Farmers Gone Wild! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/farm.html Strange Tombstones! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tombstones.html Sweet Baby Overload http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sweetoverload.html Horse Costumes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/horsecostumes.html Tricks For Treats http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats.html Tricks For Treats 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats2.html Tricks For Treats 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats3.html Tricks For Treats 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats4.html Halloween Cakes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hcakes2.html Enter At Your Own Risk! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/risky.html Maxine On Halloween http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonhalloween.html Tricks For Treats 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats4.html World's Largest Web http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/web.html Fall, Frankenstein, Ghost, Halloween, Haunted House http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_f-j.html Monsters http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_k-o.html Vampire, Vulture, Witch, Wolf, Words:Hal-boop, Words:Hallo http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html Full Fall/Halloween Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/halloweenindex.html -<>- >Follow Me On StumbleUpon Here: http://tinyurl.com/y7xc4asz -<>- >I love DNA! I watched a crime story where back in the 80's with the infancy discoveries of DNA, they were trying to connect a person with a woman who had been murdered. They found her body by a tree. They searched a man's pickup truck for evidence that he may have been connected to this young woman's murder. They couldn't find anything but some tree pods in the bed of it that looked like they had come from the same kind of tree but that would just be considered circumstantial unless they could prove that it was from the same tree. They looked to a botanist for help. Could there be plant DNA to prove that it came from this tree? Read - Source of DNA -- here... https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/genetic/dna-evidence7.htm Are You An Atheist? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BA-xrXBZGeU Atheists Admit DNA is Proof of Intelligent Design! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAUOpESW7JU Another view - Believe in God in 5 Minutes (Scientific Proof) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQVm8RokoBA More - Science Has Found Proof of the Existence of God! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er9D00DXQQs WMAP https://map.gsfc.nasa.gov/ Timeline of the Universe https://map.gsfc.nasa.gov/media/060915/index.html -<>- >From The Mouth: THE SMURF CONSPIRACY The diabolical images and disturbing documents published on these pages at You're Probably Lost have led to an organization of crusaders bound to stop "deviant Smurf activity. ... Our goal: the death and mutilation of all things Smurf. For we know the truth. We know how they have corrupted our young." http://www.iamlost.com/features/smurfs/index.shtml CELEBRITY FACE-OFFS Askmen.com places two celebrities against each other in a battle for the ages. http://www.askmen.com/toys/battle/index.html Journey through a completely interactive world filled with interesting and bizarre characters. Strike up a conversation or just take a gander at the scenery. Go get your ticket now. https://www.behance.net/Aaarrrggg -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Magician Dani Lari performs scary Halloween magic for the French television show 'The World's Greatest Cabaret' hosted by Patrik Sebastien. Watch out for someone dressed as a magician for Halloween ... it'll mean double the fun, but also double the scare! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8qwgV2B0WM Akira Kimura Golden Buzzer Audition | Asia’s Got Talent 2017. His magic act will surely have you in stitches! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C2VLJZz0zY --- ...TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "L.A. is one of the two finalists to host the 2024 Olympics. So if you want to attend one of the events in L.A., you should get on the freeway now." -Conan O'Brien "In case you weren't aware, today was Take Your Child to Work Day. It's a great way to see why Mommy and Daddy drink so much." -James Corden "A third-grade class in New Jersey recently found a boa constrictor in the back of their classroom. Even scarier, they DIDN'T find Billy." -Seth Meyers "This week was Earth Science week. It's the week you have to celebrate if you aren't smart enough for bio or chemistry week." -Seth Meyers "New research shows that China has a bigger middle class than America, and more people in China are living what we would call the 'American Dream.' That's when you know things are bad - when even the American DREAM is made in China." -Jimmy Fallon "I have a strict policy. I will not and do not publicize unsubstantiated rumors about anyone unless they're very funny." -Jimmy Kimmel "I heard that people in Hawaii are stealing cans of Spam and reselling them. So if you think you're having a rough day, imagine being the guy waiting on the corner for his Spam dealer. "Come on, where is this guy?"' -Jimmy Fallon "Red Lobster announced today that it will start delivering its food in New York City through a partnership with Grubhub. Because if there's one thing that will make discount seafood even better, it's 20 minutes on the back of a bike. Just think, that shrimp is going down 8th Avenue as we speak." -Seth Meyers "According to a new study, children who are spanked are twice as likely as those that aren't spanked to get into fights and destroy things - which is probably why they get spanked in the first place." -Jimmy Kimmel "There is a major scandal in the world of the Iditarod. It turns out some of the dogs in the race are on drugs. Dogs belonging to the four-time musher tested positive for a banned substance. These are powerful drugs. Opioids. These are the same drugs Santa uses to make his reindeer fly." -Jimmy Kimmel "I read about a woman in Pennsylvania who celebrated her 94th birthday by jumping out of a plane. She thought she was just walking into the bathroom - but still, good for her to experience that!" -Jimmy Fallon "Pope Francis said that married people should have more kids. When asked for comment, married people said the Pope should have a kid and then get back to us." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************