Psychology 101 And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hottie is from our friend Karen. This one is for all you crafty green thumb folks and for those of us who just enjoy the work of such folks! It is sure to give you all some SMILES! Check it out here... __ __ .--. ( ""--__( ""-_ ,' .-.\ * "-_ __ ""--__ "-_( (^_^)) / ( """--___""--__" )-'( / "-__ ""---/ ,(., )__o-/, """----___(.'. /--"--' ("-_"/( / \ \ \ `. \ | \ \/ || \ ,-'/`. \ ) / ) \ Ojo '98 |/ `-.\ `\ Fairy Garden Pot Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/potart.html --- ...Such a delight! Thank you Karen! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Total Loss .\^/. . |`|/| . |\|\|'|/| A man walks into a friend and sees that .--'-\`|/-''--. his friend's car is a total loss and \`-._\|./.-'/ covered with leaves, grass, branches, >`-._|/.-'< jgs dirt and blood. He asks his friend, '~|/~~|~~\|~' "What's happened to your car?" | | "Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer". .'|'. /.'|\ \ "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But | /|'.| what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and \ |\/ the dirt?" jgs \|/ ` "Well, I had to chase him all through the park." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ August 25 is Kiss and Make Up Day August 26 is National Dog Day and Women's Equality Day August 27 is Global Forgiveness Day and Just Because Day August 28 is Race Your Mouse Day August 29 is More Herbs, Less Salt Day August 30 is Frankenstein Day and Toasted Marshmallow Day August 31 National Trail Mix Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ,_ | `""---..._____ '-...______ _````"""""""'`| \ ```` ``"---...__ | |` | ``! | | A | /\ /#\ /`--..______..-' | ### | / `\ /`--. | ### _| | .-;`-./;-. || ### / \ \ /\_| |_/\ //\ ##' | `-' \__/ _ \__/ | |`# \_, /_/ `\ / '. '.__.' .' jgs `-,____,-' /"""I""\ /`---'--'\ >College Future A mother and father were chatting with their eight-year-old son about his future. The youngster said he'd like to attend Cornell, as his parents and other members of the family had. Pleased with his response, they pressed on. "What would you like to take when you attend college?" they asked the little boy. After giving it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, he replied, "The refrigerator, if you can get along without it." -<>- >Endorsement The young woman who entered the bank to cash a check looked so hesitant that a teller went to help her. "Please sign the back of the check," he told her, "as you'd sign a letter." She looked at him gratefully, scribbled on the check and passed it to him. Signed on the back was: "Yours affectionately, Pamela." -<>- >Physical Attributes Two sisters were discussing the less than desirable physical attributes they had inherited from their father. The older one said: "I hate my freckles from Dad." Her unsympathetic younger sister replied: "At least you got his freckles. I got his eyebrow." -<>- >Proper Respect A three-year-old had been told several times to get ready for bed. The last time his mom told him, she was very insistent. His response was, "Yes, Sir!" Since he was talking to his mother, she was surprised he'd called her "Sir". "You would say, 'yes sir,' to a man. I am a lady, and you would say 'Yes Ma'am,' to a lady," Mom said. To quiz him on this lesson she then asked him, "What would you say to Daddy?" "Yes Sir!" was the reply. "Then what would you say to Mama?" "Yes, Ma'am!" he proudly answered. "Good boy! Now what would you say to Grandma?" He lit up and said, "Can I have a cookie?" -<>- >Six Truths of Life 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time; it's a physical impossibility. 2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it. 3. And discover #1 is a lie. 4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot. 5. You soon will forward this to another idiot. 6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) .--------. ____/_____|___ \___ O _ - | _ ,* '--(_)-------(_)--' Dani >SMILES One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found. John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat. With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one." -------- Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Wonderful," Mary replied. "I'll go with you." -------- Sometimes it's just hard to tell.... Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? Bystander: It's a girl. She's my daughter. Man: Oh, please forgive me, sir. I had no idea you were her father. Bystander: I'm not. I'm her mother. -------- A Navy officer was cutting through the crew's quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him. "Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?" the officer demanded. "No, sir, but we don't land airplanes on the roof, either! -------- One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the thief were began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Tim's pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Tim was 25 pence. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Tim why he had bothered to fight so hard for 25 pence. "Was that all you wanted?" Tim replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred pounds I've got in my shoe!" -------- One evening the husband comes home to his apartment, very roughed up. When his wife sees him she asks, "What happened to you?" "I got into a fight with the building manager." "Whatever for?" "He said he had slept with every woman in the complex except one!" The wife replied, "I bet it's that snooty Mrs. Goldsmith on the third floor." ------- A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterward the pastor asked the man where he had gone. "I went to get a haircut," was the reply. "But why," asked the pastor, "didn't you do that before the service?" "Because," the gentleman answered, "I didn't need one then." ------- Two British sailors attended a church service in Stockholm. Not speaking a word of Swedish and not wishing to appear out of place they sat behind an important looking man and when he stood up or knelt down, they did the same. At the end of the service, the pastor made what was evidently an announcement, whereupon the man in front of the sailors rose to his feet, and they did likewise - to a roar of laughter from the congregation. As the sailors left the church, the pastor spoke to them in English, so they asked him the reason for the laughter. "Oh!" he said, "I mentioned that next Sunday morning there was to be a baptism and would the father of the child please stand up." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Karen :) __,__ .--. .-" "-. .--. / .. \/ .-. .-. \/ .. \ | | '| / Y \ |' | | | \ \ \ 0 | 0 / / / | \ '- ,\.-"`` ``"-./, -' / `'-' /_ ^ ^ _\ '-'` .--'| \._ _ _./ |'--. /` \ \.-. / / `\ / '._/ |-' _.' \ / ; /--~' | \ / .'\|.-\--. \ \ / .'-. /.-.;\ |\|'~'-.|\ \ \ `-./`|_\_/ ` `\'. \ '. ; ___) '.`; / '-.,_ ; ___) \/ / \ ``'------'\ \ ` / '. \ '. | ;/_ jgs ___> '. \_ _ _/ , '--. .' '. .-~~~~~-. / |--'`~~-. \ // / .---'/ .-~~-._/ / / /---..__.' / ((_(_/ / / (_(_(_(---.__ .' | | _ `~~` | | \'. \ '....' | '.,___.' >Psychology 101 - This Is Brilliant!! (Simple truth). If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result... all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat him up. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment... with enthusiasm, because he is now part of the team". Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by the fourth then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana. Why, you ask? Because in their minds... that is the way it has always been! This, my friends, is how Congress operates... and this is why, from time to time: ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME. --- ...LOL! Thanks Karen! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) ________________ \ __ / __ \_____()_____/ / ) '============` / / #---\ /---# / / (# @\| |/@ #) / / \ (_) / / / |\ '---` /| / / _______/ \\_____// \____/ o_| / \ / \ / / o_| / | o| / o_| \ / | _____ | / / \ \ / | |===| o| / /\ \ \ | | \@/ | / / \ \ \ | |___________o|__/----) \ \/ | ' || --) \ | |___________________|| --) \ / | o| '''' | \__/ | | | >Lawyer Vs Cop... A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a cop. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a small town cop from West Virginia. The cop asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The cop responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the cop impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The cop says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The cop says, "Now tell me, do you want me to stop or just slow down?" --- ...LOL! Thanks Geniann! [Politics] Woe to the cop if he were white and the lawyer wasn't! America has gone crazy these days since Obama has been President! I used to think we were all equal - now I think there is a lot of white hatred that doesn't get nipped in the bud but gets fanned and fueled by Obama and the media so it grows into an embarrassing out of control fire. I thought we as a country were better than that. Obama has set our race relations back some 50 years or more. Either that or like Paul says, 'we just didn't realize how much they hated us.' I pray we can all be one people under God once again! -<>- ( (_) ### (#c _\|/_ #\ wWWWw \ \-. (/. .\) /\ /`\/\ /\ |\/ \_) (_| `\.' ; ; ;`\ `\; ; . ;/\ `\; ; ;| \ ; .' ' ; / |_.' ; | /) ( ''._;'` | ' . ; |.-' .:) | | ( .' : | |,- .:: | | ,-' .;| jgs_/___,_.:_\_ [I_I_I_I_I_I_] | __________ | | || | | || | _| ||_|__|_|| |_ /=--------------=\ / \ | | >NOMINATED AS THE BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. It's 11:00 AM on a Wednesday. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America." The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for this wonderful America! That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. I am not American." He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Africa .." Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The African lady checks her watch and says: "Probably at work." IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS, BY TOMORROW, YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE. --- ...Oh My! LOL! Scary huh? Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: I just read a story about how a convenience store owner in New York (or was it New Jersey?) had to personally chase down a shoplifter who has robbed his store several times because the police refuse to respond to so-called petty crimes. That is not likely to happen at "Shooters Grill" in Rifle, Colorado, where all nine of the servers at the restaurant pack heat as they shuttle plates of food to diners, from Glock semi-automatics to Ashlee Saenz's thigh-length Rueger Blackhawk .357 six-shooter. On the wall, posted alongside copies of the Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights, is a sign declaring that those inside are still "proudly clinging to my guns and Bible." Owner Lauren Boebert, 27, says she didn't start out to make a statement when she began carrying a pistol on her hip a month after opening Shooters a year ago. But through the months, her other waitresses thought it was kind of fun and they, too, started carrying in this town of 9,200 about 180 miles west of Denver. "We don't worship guns. We worship Jesus," said Boebert, a mother of four whose husband works in the oil industry. "We're here to serve people." Menu items include the M16 burrito, the Swiss and Wesson grilled cheese, and "Locked and Loaded nachos." "I'm from Texas," said one diner. "This is normal." And that's just how Boebert sees it. Rifle is hunting country with outfitters offering to help visitors track down and shoot elk and deer roaming the nearby high-country forests and canyons. Legend says the area got its name when a surveyor left his gun leaning against a tree and marked his map with "rifle" to remind himself where it was. In May, the Denver-based Chipotle burrito chain asked gun owners to stop bringing guns into the company's stores following a series of demonstrations from strident Second Amendment supporters in Texas. And last year, Starbucks also asked gun owners to leave their weapons behind when buying coffee. However, in Rifle, Boebert said the local Starbucks franchisee has no problem when she walks in wearing her Springfield XDS .45. A sign on the front door welcomes armed patrons and asks them to abide by the same rules but adds, "in such cases, judicious marksmanship appreciated." "There's no point to be made," Boebert said as her waitresses refilled ketchup bottles and wiped down menus, readying for the dinner rush. "This is our way of life." *-- South Carolina mean beat by woman for farting in her face --* MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. (UPI) - A South Carolina woman was arrested Monday for allegedly beating a man in his 60s, after the man drunkenly passed gas in her face. Witnesses told police that 33-year-old Jessica Cerney was asleep on her couch in her Myrtle Beach residence when 64-year-old Darrell McNight entered the home and farted in her face. "[McKnight] came into the house intoxicated and 'passed gas' is [Cerney's] face while she was laying on the couch," according to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun. In the initial report, the names of both parties were omitted. "[Cerney] walked outside to get away from [an] intoxicated [McKnight] but [McKnight] walked out also. The two were arguing over the incident and [McKnight] walked toward [Cerney] cursing in a "threatening manner." [Cerney] stated that she pulled her arms down and when McKnight bent down she struck him in the face approximately three times with a closed fist." McKnight had to be taken to the hospital for treatment to a swollen right eye while Cerney, unless she develops a case of delayed pinkeye, did not suffer any injuries. Both parties were issued citations for fighting. It is unclear if they knew each other prior to the incident. *-- Pageant mom fed daughter tapeworms so she would lose weight --* LOS ANGELES (UPI) - A pageant mom in Florida is the subject of an upcoming episode of Untold Stories of the E.R. after forcing her daughter to ingest tapeworms in order to slim down for competition. Upon checking into the emergency room with severe stomach pains, nurse Maricar Cabral-Osorio thought the teen was pregnant. But an ultrasound showed no fetus -- although there was an inexplicable growth in her intestines. Recounted and reenacted for Discovery Fit & Health's anything-but-subtle medical scare docudrama, the unfortunate teenage contestant's condition became clear upon a fateful trip to the bathroom. "It was a toilet bowl full of tapeworms," Cabral-Osorio recalled. "It was so gross and she had pooped all these tapeworms. There were a couple that were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl." Having passed the parasites, the teen was then assumed to be fine. But one question remained -- how did she get the tapeworms in the first place? After an apparent fight between the mother and daughter, it became clear the mother bought a pill of tapeworm eggs in Mexico and forced her daughter to take it to lose weight for an upcoming pagent. "We were wondering how did she get those tapeworms, and then you saw the mom turn white," Cabral-Osorio said. "The mom was apologizing to the girl. It's like 'I'm so sorry. You know, I did it just to make you a little skinnier. You needed some help before we went on to the pageant." It is unclear when the incident occurred or if criminal charges were brought against the mother. *-- U.S. man fakes suicide to get out of engagement to British woman --* STAMFORD, Conn. (UPI) - An English woman who was expecting to be on her honeymoon is instead enjoying an impromptu American vacation after her former fiance attempted to fake his own suicide to get out of marrying her. "'I'm a terrible, awful person," Tucker Blandford, the 23-year-old former groom to be, admitted to the Daily Mail. Blandford met his former fiancee, Alex Lanchester, also 23, in 2012 when Lanchester was studying abroad as a film student visiting the University of Connecticut. The two quickly became close and started dating. "Tucker was such a gentleman and was always buying me dinner and beautiful vintage jewelry," Lanchester recalled. "I'd never been in love like that before. Every Sunday he would take me out for pancakes, it was so sweet." When Lenchester's time in the U.S. ended, Blandford proposed to her. As Lenchester planned for their wedding, set for August 15, Blandford grew increasingly uncomfortable with the long-distance relationship. Unable to face the pressure of committing to Lenchester or breaking up with her, Blandford concocted a plan to fake his own suicide. Pretending to be his father, Blandford called Lenchester and delivered the news that he suffered from depression and had jumped into the path of a moving car. The grim ruse quickly unraveled when Lenchester phoned Blandford's mother to offer her condolences. "He has shattered my trust and I'm not sure I'll ever be in a relationship again," Lanchester said. "All I ever did was love him ... I've cried until I felt numb but now I'm just really angry. I'll be spending our would-be wedding day making new memories without him. He's a liar and a coward." *-- Woman kicked in face after jumping in giraffe enclosure at Henry Vilas Zoo --* MADISON, Wis. (UPI) - A 24-year-old woman who "loves giraffes" was kicked in the face after she entered the giraffe enclosure at the Henry Vilas Zoo in Madison. Amanda Hall climbed into the exhibit so she could get up close and personal with a 2-year-old giraffe named Wally. The 12-foot-tall animal first licked Hall and then he booted her in the face. Hall sustained non-life threatening injuries and Wally was not harmed. "Imagine if that animal came into your house, how would you feel about that? You would probably be nervous and excited, so an animal is going to have a similar experience, have a similar response. Be a little nervous and excited and that is probably what happened in this case," zoo curator Jeff Stafford told 27 News. Hall was cited for harassment of zoo animals, an offense that carries a fine of $686. Things could have been much worse for Hall because giraffes are capable of delivering blows that can kill lions. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) W __ __ [ ] |::||::| 3 ._. |::||::| ._. /| |:| ._. |::||::| |/| \|// / |:|_|/| |::||::|_ |/| -( )-| |:|"|/|_|::||::|\|_|/| _ J V | |:|"|/|||::||::|\|||/||:| ___ ' / ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \ \/ | ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ >How You Know You Are A Conspiracy Theorist: * You are capable of critical thinking. * You distrust mainstream media. * You like nature. * You think it’s a good idea to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving with your family rather than camping outside Best Buy to get a cheap plasma television made in China. * You think it’s a little strange that WTC building 7 came down at free fall speed on 9/11 yet it was never hit by a plane. * You think that drones in America might not be for Al Qaeda. * You would like to be able to get on a plane without having to engage in a mandatory radiation bath and digital strip search. * You have read a book in the past year. * You think you have the right to protest. * You think the War on Terror is a scam. * You think the War on Drugs is a scam. * You think the anger directed at America from the Middle East could possibly be related to our foreign policy rather than hating how amazingly free we are. * You think the Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same on the important issues affecting our country. * You think believing in The Constitution does not constitute a terrorist act. * You have heard of the Bill of Rights and can even name what some of them are. * You question whether the government loves you. * You think the right to bear arms is not for hunting, rather so citizens can fight back should the government become a bunch of tyrannical thugs. * You don’t own a television, and if you do, all you watch is RT, especially the Keiser Report and Capital Account. * You don’t think the NDAA is the name of Kesha’s latest single. * You think rich, powerful and connected people should be subject to the rule of law and go to jail if they commit crimes. Even if they are bankers and work at JP Morgan or Goldman Sachs. * You think corporations aren’t people. * You think Warren Buffet is a phony and a crony capitalist. * You don’t care that Warren Buffet likes cherry coke, hamburgers and ice cream. He’s still a bad guy. * You know that gold was made illegal by FDR in 1933 and confiscated from the American people. You know that gold bullion remained illegal for Americans to own until 1975. * You think politicians that push for war should be sent to fight on the front lines. If they are unable, their children should go. * You want your food to be labeled GMO so that you can make your own decisions on what you are consuming. * You grow your own food. * You buy raw milk. * You think food and energy should be included in inflation calculations. * You are aware that the Department of Homeland Security has purchased 1.2 billion rounds of ammo in the past year. * You question whether said ammo purchases are in anticipation of a Normandy beach style landing by Al Qaeda. * You think allowing a small group of unelected people (The Federal Reserve) to print unlimited amounts of money and distribute it as they please might not be a good idea. If you answered yes to more than five of the 32 questions above, you might be a conspiracy theorist. You also may be on the government’s terror watch list. Be very alarmed and report it to the authorities immediately should you discover your neighbors engaged in such uncivilized thought. --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ____... .-"--"""".__ `. | ` | ( `._....------.._.: ) .()'' ``(). Je suis ton pire cauchemar! ' () .==' `=== `-. . ) ( g) ) ) / J ( |. / . ( $$ (. (_'. , )|` || |\`-....--'/ ' \ /||. \\ | | | / / \. //||(\ \`-===-' ' \o. .//7' |) `. -- / ( OObaaaad888b. (<<. / | .a888b`.__.'d\ OO888888888888a. \ Y' | .8888888aaaa88POOOOOO888888888888888. \ \ | .888888888888888888888888888888888888b | | .d88888P88888888888888888888888b8888888. b.--d .d88888P8888888888888888a:f888888|888888b 88888b 888888|8888888888888888888888888\8888888 Dewey was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French." Dewey ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!" "Great!" said the teacher; "what were they saying?" "I don't know," Dewey replied; "I couldn't understand a word they were saying." -<>- Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom. "I'm renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and I've reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town," she said. Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. "I didn't spend that much on my wedding." My friend answered, "I can have three or four weddings. But a prom you do only once." -<>- Do I look that shady? I just got a GPS for my car, and my first trip with it was to a drugstore. Since the manual said not to leave it in the car unattended, I brought it with me into the store. While there, the GPS came alive, and a voice stated, "Lost satellite contact." I wasn't embarrassed until a woman turned to me and said, "Your ankle bracelet monitor is talking to you." -<>- Dr. Smith asks his patient, "Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?" The patient replies, "Give me the good news." Dr. Smith says, "You're about to have a disease named after you." -<>- The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled. It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions." "To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think." -<>- The problem - There's a box with a hole at each end and there's a rabbit in the box. The rabbit sticks his head out of the hole in one end, and a minute later he sticks it out the other end. Half a minute later, his head appears at the opposite end, a fourth of a minute later it appears at the end opposite to that one, an eighth of a minute later... etc., etc. How long will it take before the rabbit sticks its head out of both ends of the box at the same time? In theory, two minutes. In practice, no answer is possible unless, of course, you split hares. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: ________ /________\ //( ( ( ( \\ || ((|| REALLY? ||) ) ` ) )|| || (\___( ( || \|) ) \)_|/ / ((\_v_/ \ / /) x \ \ | | x | | | \ x / | | | x | | | |\ x /| | | |/\ x /\| | | | \x/ | | | | V | | /____\ /____\ | | | | / \ / \ | | | | `~~| |~~' >Top 10 worst pick-up lines 1. "What's your sign?" 2. "Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?" 3. "You must be a broom because you’re sweeping me off my feet." 4. "Do you have a license? Because you're driving me crazy." 5. "I gotta thirst and baby, you look like my Gatorade." 6. "Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here." 7. "Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers." 8. "Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas." 9. "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?" 10. "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?" -<>- ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw >TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Al Ain Paradise!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/baskets.html Corner Of Paradise! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/corner.html Walk In The Woods! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woods.html Bruno's Fantasy Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fantasyart.html Real Fantasy Trees 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trees2.html God's Most Beautiful! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mostbeautiful.html Akiane Child Prodigy! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html Albino Hummingbird!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ahummingbird.html Amazing Home Garden! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/homegarden.html Wang Yu's Little Critters! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinaart.html Disney Character Bushes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneybush.html Legrand's Whimsical Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/legrandart.html Japan Manhole Cover Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/japanart.html -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us one we have here... Only ONE Job! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onejob.html --- ...So Funny! Thanks Geniann! [Politics] To The Point... Written by Dr. Jack Wheeler The O-man, Barack Hussein Obama, is an eloquently tailored empty suit. No resume, no accomplishments, no experience, no original ideas, no understanding of how the economy works, no understanding of how the world works, no balls, nothing but abstract, empty rhetoric devoid of real substance. Read the full article here... http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/3227/44/ --- ...Most interesting! Thanks Geniann! More about this and Dr. Jack Wheeler here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/wheeler.asp -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Most card tricks are simple on the surface and only take a minute or so. Willie Nelson takes card tricks to the next level with this elaborate trick. How does he do it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KJ0ncVqrd8M André Rieu and his Johann Strauss Orchestra performing 'I Will Follow Him' live in Maastricht. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZqN9aS2S3L0 he Cactus Cuties sing a beautiful Terri Caldwell arrangement of Amazing Grace. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbufA_WgIvE&feature=player_embedded --- ...Neat! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Anchorage By Winter on Vimeo http://vimeo.com/45105667 Easy & Healthy Carrot Fries. Yes Carrot http://claireshealthyhome.com/easy-healthy-carrot-friesyes-carrot/ When An Itchy Elephant Finds A Car http://viralcharge.com/itchy-elephant-car/?ref=0 --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Melody! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Scientists have found a new link between high blood sugar and dementia. Which explains Cinnabon's new slogan, 'The last bite you'll remember.'" -Conan O'Brien "According to a Cosmo poll, 13 percent of all men admit they have tried on a bra. The sad part, 43 percent of American men actually need one." --Jay Leno "A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don't drink at all. At least, that's what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice." -Jimmy Kimmel "The NFL is considering hiring a mother of three to be a referee. They wanted someone who's used to giving time- outs." -Conan O'Brien "A new survey found that one-third of married women with pets say their animals are better listeners than their husbands. When husbands heard that they were like, 'Huh? You say something?'" -Jimmy Fallon "According to a survey by Playboy magazine, three percent of women can't remember their natural hair color. You know what you call these women? Blondes." -Jay Leno "I was sweating like Miss South Carolina taking the SATs." - Jay Leno "Yesterday in Washington, a couple of pranksters covered Karl Rove's car in bumper stickers that read, 'I Love Obama.' Karl Rove laughed about it then had the pranksters murdered." - Conan O'Brien "It was so hot, Tara Reid was spotted drinking water today." - Jimmy Kimmel >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************