Rattlesnakes, Tips And Obama Supports Trump... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ .a88a. . a888888:..--. \\\ 8888888:`\ \ \\\`Y888P' , \. \ =\\\_..' o/ . \ \ `c\`-' <\/| \. \ \ \ ( .'` ) \ \n .' ._/ a:f \__|).\ ._/ (--: .-)_/ `--' >>> READER COMMENTS <<< >From our EXTRA on July 24: Clinton Chose Her VP http://tinyurl.com/jctvemk --- ...I saw him on the news and heard them say he speaks Spanish to the people being fluent in it as well as English. This super offended and irritated me! I am tired of languages being used to cater to those who live here who have not learned English. OK for tourists but for voters? This is America not Cuba, Puerto Rico, Spain or Mexico etc! I think it is fine if you are speaking on C-Span or places such as that, but in the general population, it is highly disrespectful to the American people to be speaking a language to them other then English during a campaign! I also find it most offensive to be protesting in America, waving the Mexican flag and burning or stomping on the American flag. 'America - Love it or Leave it' comes to mind! Trump doesn't speak any foreign language but his son Barron speaks Slovenian, English and French. His wife, Melania, speaks Slovenian, English, French, Serbian and German. McIver, wrote her speech that every one got up in arms about, and also co-authored several books with Trump's husband, said Mrs. Trump was inspired by Obama and read out passages from her speech during a phone conversation. She then included the phrases in a draft of the speech without checking Obama's transcript. Note: Biden's California speech had taken a phrase from the 1961 inaugural address of John F. Kennedy. But nobody got all riled up about it. The Trumps refused her offer to resign in the wake of the scandal. "I am honoured to work for such a great family," she said. 'Although it's not surprising for a candidate's wife to back her husband's policies, some were taken aback by Melania's enthusiasm for Trump's tough rhetoric on migrants, having immigrated to the US herself. "I follow the law," she told an MSNBC interviewer. "I never thought to stay here without papers." When pressed about her husband's questionable comments on "criminals" crossing the border into the US, she was equally unfazed. "I don't feel he insulted the Mexicans," she said. "He said 'illegal immigrants.'" So, how offended would their audience be if she started speaking in German to folks Trump was speaking to in a part German speaking area of America? Why should Spanish be any different? English was her last language she learned. She wanted to be an American so she learned it. As all who LIVE and WORK here should! http://tinyurl.com/h58traj /\ ,'.' ',' _.,._ _,.-+`'+-._ .|. _.+'` `.' \ (___) ,' \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ _.-~`'~-._ _\_.-+'`'`+-._\ ag `,' `---` >-->Our Friend Norma Sent us a response to this. She Wrote: >My say about illegals All these so called immigrants, I am so sorry to say they are NOT immigrants, they are all ILLEGALS. My grandparents, parents, Uncle and Aunt were all immigrants, not illegals. They all came to the USA through Ellis Island with their proper paper work. None of them spoke a word of English. My mother and aunt started school not knowing a word of English, they had NO BILINGUAL, (which to me is a bunch of crap, plus everything also written in their language). How are they ever going to learn English? Just as soon as they all knew our language they applied for citizenship, all were so thrilled to become AMERICAN citizens. Now this to me is when you can be called an immigrant, you're now a citizen and you immigrated from another country. In those days too you either were able to make it here in our country or you went back to your homeland. NO assistance AT ALL, like all these ILLEGALS get today. All of my entire family that came to the USA make successful lives for themselves, followed all the LAWS and WAYS of life, paid their taxes etc. until they all passed away. My grandparents, my mother, aunt and uncle were legal immigrates from Italy, my father was a legal immigrant from Switzerland. I was the first child born to my LEGAL IMMIGRANT parents that were proudly LEGAL AMERICAN CITIZENS. I get so furious and very upset when these ILLEGALS are called immigrants, they are NOT IMMIGRANTS by NO means of the word they are ALL ILLEGALS!!!!, once getting their American citizenship, then they become immigrants and NOT BEFORE!! --- ...I am so touched by your sharing this with us Norma! Thank you! Brings tears to my eyes and takes me back to when I did a report on the Statue of Liberty when I was in grade school. My cover page was a hand drawn and colored picture of the Statue of Liberty. That report was perhaps my first understanding of how important our country is. We are the land of the free and the home of the brave because we are a nation of hope. A country of immigrants. And as you so beautifully pointed out, we are a nation of LEGAL IMMIGRANTS. Many worked hard and proudly took their oath of citizenship and America gladly took them in and made them part of this great nation. That is who we are. 'A great melting pot' of diverse immigrants that had one thing in common. All wanted freedom and a better life for themselves and their children. We can all trace our family trees back to another country where our relatives originated from because, unless we are Native Americans, we are all Legal Immigrants to this country. As you so rightly pointed out, anyone else is simply an ILLEGAL ALIEN and not an immigrant. ================ >-->3 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first too hot to handle new page comes from our friends MohB and Deci. This is one that renews your faith in mankind. You'll be surprised at how at risk the hero put himself to save this little helpless one! Be sure to check out this heartwarming story. . .. . . .. . . .. ... . . .. .. . . ...... . . ...... . ........ ........ .... 0.. ......... ........ . . @...) .... .. .... ... ....... ........................ ....................... ....................... ........................ ........ ..... ..... ....... ..... ..... ... ... .... .... ... ... ... ... ... ...... ... ... .:.. ... ... ...:.. ... ... ... .. .. .. .. gfj/ejm Fawn Rescue 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fawnrescue2.html --- ...Does ones heart good to see this! Thanks my friends! Our Next sizzling hot new page is from our friends Bunni and LouiseAu. It is one that will tickle your funny bone. Animals are such wonderful actors just doing what they do naturally! Be sure to check out the video here too! ._ _ | \ / | |__/ |\ .' / `. / / (/) _.-------------------._ () .-' `-. \ .' O `. `.___ .' O `. `. / o \ / | . /| | J L . .-'' ''\/| _ _ j | | < ' |/.\ /.\ | | | __ '--. |../\|...\ /...\ | `. L \ / ' /.....\ /.....\ J \ | \__/ _/ | | | | | ) \ \__/ | O |-'-'-'-| O | / / `. __ \ ___ | . _ . .' / `. \__\/ \ | . / \ . .' / / `-. |_ | . | |.-' .' ( `-.___\_____||^||_|/iwO (______) (rediddle by VK) Animals And Windows! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsandwindows.html --- ...A hilarious one! Thanks Ladies! Our last smoking hot page comes inspired by our friend Fran and my brother Del. I've been thinking about this page and what to do with it since it is getting outdated. I decided with such a wonderful RNC convention that it was time for me to update it. Check it and the videos on it out here: _____ / \/_ //\__(\_\ |\ ^ ^ | .//_O \O_ \ \_ (_) / \ \_/ / __/\ /\__ / \ \ / / \ / \/\/\/ \ / | . | \ / | . | \ JRO Why Trump 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whytrump2.html --- ...Thank you Fran and Del! Wonderful! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: __ (`/\ `=\/\ __...--~~~~~-._ _.-~~~~~--...__ `=\/\ \ / \\ `=\/ V \\ //_\___--~~~~~~-._ | _.-~~~~~~--...__\\ // ) (..----~~~~._\ | /_.~~~~----.....__\\ ===( INK )==========\\|//==================== __ejm\___/________dwb`---`______________________________________ When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write, if the copy is right. If however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services you write rite, and have the right to copyright the rite you write. Very conservative people write right copy, and have the right to copyright the right copy they write. A right wing cleric would write right rite, and has the right to copyright the right rite he has the right to write. His editor has the job of making the right rite copy right before the copyright can be right. Should Jim Wright decide to write right rite, then Wright would write right rite, which Wright has the right to copyright. Duplicating that rite would copy Wright right rite, and violate copyright, which Wright would have the right to right. Right? ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 25 is Culinarians Day and Threading the Needle Day July 26 is All or Nothing Day and Aunt and Uncle Day July 27 is Take Your Pants for a Walk Day July 28 is National Milk Chocolate Day July 29 is National Lasagna Day July 30 is National Cheesecake Day, Father-in-Law Day and International Day of Friendship July 31 is Mutt's Day and System Administrator Appreciation Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _.--.... _....---;:'::' ^__/ .' `'`___....---=-'` /::' (` \' `:. `\::. ';-"":::-._ {} _.--'`\:' .'`-.`'`.' `{I} .-' `' .;;`\::. '. _: {-I}`\ .' .:. `:: _)::: _;' `{=I}.:| /. ::::`":::` ':'.-'`':. {_I}::/ |:. ':' ::::: .':'`:. `'|':|:' \: .:. ''' .:| .:, _:./':.| jgs '--.:::...---'\:'.:`':`':./ '-::..:::-' >Rattlesnakes My husband was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As he headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out." The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes. "You've got to be kidding," my husband replied in astonishment. "People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?" "Well," said the chief, "the first thing I ask is, 'Is it on fire?'" -<>- >Collectibles Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple. Among other duties, I had to dust their many imported carvings and petrified collectibles as well as pick up after their pets. One day I was astonished to find two ivory fossils lying on the floor beside the bookcase. I quickly picked them up and put them back on the shelf. The next week the same thing happened. That afternoon my employer came into the parlor, her faithful canine behind her. Looking around, she eyed the bookcase. "Tippy," she asked the dog, "how do your bones keep getting up there?" -<>- >Big Pill I went to the doctor with a badly swollen leg. After a careful examination, the doctor gave me a pill big enough to choke a horse. Then he said, "I'll be right back with some water." Well, the doctor was gone quite a while and I lost my patience. I hobbled out to the drinking fountain, forced the pill down my throat and gobbled down water until the pill got all the way down. Then I hobbled back into the examining room. Just then the doctor came back with a bucket of warm water. "Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes." -<>- >Two-Dollar Bills When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become collectors' items. I went to the bank and picked up a hundred, serially numbered and still in their original band. On my next trip to my parents' house, I gave the $200 to my mother and said, "Take good care of these. They might be worth something someday." Several months later I asked Mom if she was keeping the two dollar bills safe. "Oh, yes!" she replied. "I deposited them in the bank the day after you left." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ____ ___|=--=/ \=--=| :(___.--. .--.___): { __ ' ) ( ` __ )= ""----'Ahas '----"" ====' >SMILES A tourist driving through Little Rock, Arkansas. passes a young boy walking along wearing only one shoe. The tourist stops his car and asks the boy, "Did you lose a shoe?" "Nope," the boy replies. "Found one." -------- A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing. "Can you give me a detailed description of him?" asked the officer. "He's short and bald, skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures," answered the wife. "Come to think of it, most of him was missing before HE was." -------- Everyone farts, admit it or not. Kings fart, queens fart. Edward Lear, the 19th century English landscape painter, wrote affectionately of a favorite Duchess who gave enormous dinner parties attended by the cream of society. One night she let out a ripper and quick as a flash she turned her gaze to her stoic butler, standing, as always, behind her. "Hawkins!" she cried, "Stop that!" "Certainly, your Grace", he replied with unhurried dignity, "Which way did it go?" -------- Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on parishioners for upkeep and maintenance of the church. Once he asked my husband, Sam, to rewire the confessionals. The only way to reach the wiring was to enter the attic above the altar and crawl over the ceiling by balancing on the rafters. Concerned for my husband's safety, I waited in a pew. Unbeknownst to me, some parishioners were congregating in the vestibule. They paid little attention to me, probably assuming I was praying. Worried about my husband, I looked up toward the ceiling and yelled, "Sam, Sam -- are you up there? Did you make it okay?" There was quite an outburst from the vestibule when Sam's hearty voice echoed down, "Yes, I made it up here just fine!" -------- When April and I went up to New England a couple of years ago we decided to stay in one of those quaint little inns. The clerk at the inn asked me if we wanted a room with a shower or a tub. "What's the difference?" I asked, wondering if the room with a tub cost more than the one with just the shower. "Well, sir, in a tub, you can sit down...." the clerk answered. ------- A wealthy old man looked around the table at his two sons and five daughters and their spouses gathered for Christmas dinner. "Not a single grandchild," he said with a sigh. "Why, I'll give a million dollars to the first kid who presents me with a little one to bounce on my knee. Now, let's say grace." When the old man lifted his eyes again, his wife was the only other person at the table. -------- A grandfather bought a hobby horse by mail order as a birthday present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour. However it took the old man two days to assemble the toy. Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it off to the company. -------- One day, a father was reading his paper, when his son came in and said, "Dad, will you take me to the zoo tomorrow?" "No," said his father, "If they want you, they can come and get you." -------- A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi- driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ________ _jgN########Ngg_ _N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_ d###P N####p "^^" T#### d###P _g###@F _gN##@P gN###F" d###F 0###F 0###F 0###F "NN@' ___ q###r "" >Ponderisms I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going? (taxes) Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the ATMOSPHERE, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? IF YOU GO TO HEAVEN AND HAVE WINGS, WHAT IF YOU ARE SCARED OF HEIGHTS? --- ...HaHa! Does make ya wonder! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) >Tips: b. 88b 888b. 88888b 888888b. 8888P" P" `8. `8. cgmm `8 Coconut oil is known for having tons of health benefits which is why it is a popular choice for cooking at high temperatures, such as for searing, frying or baking. Outside of cooking, coconut oil can be used in numerous ways to including to improve beauty or help clean. Here are great DIY ways to use coconut oil in your home. Get Beach Wave Hair: In a spray bottle mix 1 cups of hot water with 1 tsp. of sea salt, 1 tsp. of coconut oil and 1 tsp of hair gel to get a homemade spray to give your hair beautiful beach wave hair. Treat Cold Sores: Dab a bit of coconut oil directly onto cold sores to speed up healing times, and help prevent the virus’s ability to reproduce. >Puter Tip: 5 Things You Can Do With Your Smartphone b. 88b 888b. 88888b 888888b. 8888P" P" `8. `8. cgmm `8 It feels like smartphones can do pretty much anything these days. Of course, most people will simply use their mobile devices to text friends, browse the internet, and check their various social media accounts. There are, however, a vast array of other possibilities out there for those who really want to see what their phones are capable of doing. If anything, the smartphone can become a central hub of control for many different applications and functions. Anyone who doesn’t know about this isn’t taking full advantage of all that their smartphones have to offer. So check out just a sampling of some of the things you can do and control from today’s mobile devices. Monitor Health Wearable technology is one of the fastest growing industries in the world. If you’ve seen a Fitbit, for example, then you get an idea of what they’re capable of. Smartphones can utilize this technology too, making wearables more accessible and easy-to-use. Apps that are downloadable for your smartphone can connect to other wearable devices dedicated to monitoring your health. These wearables can have many functions, from monitoring your blood pressure to recording your temperature. All this data can be collected and stored, and if something looks like it falls outside of the normal parameters, local health officials can be alerted as well. Start Car Engines It can be quite the unpleasant experience to wake up in the middle of winter, go to your car, and drive to work while your car slowly warms up. Luckily with car apps like the Viper SmartStart, you can start your car’s engine remotely, allowing the vehicle to warm up before you ever step foot outside your door. The app does require the SmartStart to be installed in your car, but once that’s done, you can start the engine with just a press of a button from your smartphone. The app also allows you to perform other functions, like locking the doors or opening the trunk. Perform Car Diagnostics Similar to starting a car’s engine, other devices can give your smartphone even more capabilities. Modern automobiles come with a computer unit that basically monitors all the car’s systems. After plugging a device into that central computer, users can download an app that will give them data about their car’s on-board diagnostics. In this way, you can check on your car without having to get into its systems, making sure that everything is running smoothly. You can even receive alerts in case anything needs to be repaired before things get out of hand. Create Mobile Hotspots This is a feature already available on smartphones that doesn’t require downloading an app. With your smartphone, you can use your carrier’s network to create a mobile hotspotfor Wi-Fi, allowing you to connect other devices like tablets and laptops to the internet. This is especially useful if you find yourself on the road a lot and can’t locate a good local Wi-Fi network to connect to. Each smartphone has different ways of creating a hotspot, so check online for how to make it happen with your particular device. You need to be careful with this though, because creating mobile hotspots at work may compromise youremployer’s IT security. Change Light Bulb Settings While it may seem like a little thing, being able to change the settings of your home's light bulbs represents something much larger–mainly controlling items throughout your home from your smartphone (usually called having a smart home). In the case of light bulbs, an app available from Phillips allows you to change the color and intensity of the lights within your home. This can also be done remotely, giving you the power to do so even if you’re far away from the house. In other smart home technology, users can also control their thermostats, garage doors, locks, and other household appliances, all with the ease of using a smartphone, --- ...Awesome tips! Thanks Fran! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From Our Friend Geniann :) Do you smell a rat? http://tinyurl.com/j3jcdxh --- ...YEPPERS! I sure do! Way too many coincidences! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Christianity Today: Endorsing Trump http://tinyurl.com/zvdmawl -<>- >AmericanActionNews: Obama Supports Trump! b. 88b 888b. 88888b 888888b. 8888P" P" `8. `8. cgmm `8 http://americanactionnews.com/articles/breaking-obama-supports-trump On Cruz http://tinyurl.com/gs8krjt -<>- >From BizarreNews: A TSA agent was arrested on a charge of voyeurism after allegedly recording up the skirt of a woman on an airport escalator, according to police in Washington. The Seattle Police Department said that they have arrested 29-year-old Nicholas Fernandez, after being seen using a phone to record a video up the skirt of a woman who was riding on an escalator. Fernandez was charged with one count of voyeurism. He was booked into jail, and his bail was set at $7,500. Fernandez has been removed from screening duties, and he has been suspended without pay. According to the police, an investigation was launched after a man spotted the TSA agent recording a video up the skirt of a woman. The man called the police, and officers began watching Fernandez at the Seattle Tacoma International Airport. An officer saw Fernandez taking a break from a checkpoint around 11:30 a.m. He then followed a woman up an escalator, where he activated a cellphone flashlight and appeared to be taking a video of the woman. -<>- A man told his aunt that he stole a human brain in order to use it to produce strong marijuana that causes hallucinations, according to police in Pennsylvania. Carlisle police said that they have arrested 26-year-old Joshua Long, after being accused of conspiring with his friends to produce potent marijuana using the stolen human brain. Not sure how that would work, but you can't argue with science. Long was charged with abuse of a corpse and conspiracy to commit abuse of a corpse. He was booked into the Cumberland County Prison, and his bail was set at $100,000. Police are still looking for Long's accomplices. According to the police investigation, Long's aunt discovered the human brain in a WalMart shopping bag under the porch of a mobile home belonging to his friend. When the aunt asked Long about the brain, he admitted that he and Zoller use it to produce strong marijuana. Police believe that the brain was used as a specimen for teaching. *-------- When Dinner Comes to Your Door --------* Residents of a Baltimore apartment complex received a visit from a pair of bulls that escaped from a local slaughterhouse on Friday morning. The bulls escaped from the Old Line Custom Meat Company and found their way into the parking lot of a nearby apartment complex around 7 a.m. Baltimore police arrived on the scene and used portable gates along with the complex's "natural barriers" to temporarily trap the bulls. "They were able to get some fencing over here to fence them in and we had them contained," Baltimore Police spokesman reported. "However, the bulls knocked over the fencing a couple of times, so we had to move people back." The bulls were finally captured by about 10:30 a.m., before temperatures reached nearly 100 degrees. No one was hurt in the incident. *---- It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time ----* Authorities in Missouri arrested a man and a woman accused of taking a naked ride on a stolen lawn mower in the early morning. The Jasper County Sheriff's Office said deputies made contact with a 55-year-old man and a 40-year-old woman inside the house. The couple told deputies they had been skinny dipping in a creek earlier that morning and they rode the lawn mower home in the nude after their clothes were stolen. Deputies said the couple were arrested on suspicion of stealing when deputies determined the lawn mower didn't belong to either of them. The sheriff's office said theft charges are being pursued by the Jasper County prosecutor's office. *---------- "So, what are you in for?" ----------* RIO DE JANEIRO - Here is a criminal charge you don't hear very often. A man armed with a fire extinguisher attempted to put out the Olympic flame, the second time someone tried to douse the flame on its trip to the 2016 Summer Games. Video shows a man running from the crowd as the torch bearers passed through Joinville and attempting unsuccessfully to spray the flame with a fire extinguisher before being apprehended by security. According to Fox Sports, the man's motivations were unknown but he was arrested for attempting to put out the flame symbolizing the spirit of the competition at the games. A similar filed attempt at extinguishing the Olympic flame was made in June when a 27-year-old man acting on a dare flung a bucket of water at the torch, but missed and doused security guards. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ,-. Life keeps rolling along...... ( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - |`-'| : : : : : : : : | | : : : : : : : : `-'` ~ - . _'. - ~ ` ~ - .'_ . - ~ ` ~ - cww As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get on my nerves. One day, I emerged from the bathroom completely exasperated when I bumped into my husband. "What is it with guys that they won't replace the toilet paper?!" I raged. "I know," he said, nodding in agreement. "I noticed that when I was in there earlier." -<>- A man picks up his golf-indifferent girlfriend after he has come from the links. While he's driving the tees in his pocket fall out. His girlfriend asks, "Harry, what are those things that just fell out of your pockets?" "Oh, those are called tees. I put my balls on them when I'm driving." "Oh, well. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer." -<>- According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the Bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. -<>- I was traveling through Georgia last summer and stopped at a little backwoods country store. In the men's room there was a handwritten sign above the malfunctioning potty which said, "Please Wiggel Handel". Below that some wit had written, "If I do, will it wiggel Bach?" -<>- In order to make the world a better place, the following rules will take immediate effect across the planet. 1. It is no longer permitted to be stupid and slow. You must choose one or the other. 2. If in the course of parking your car you are not able to maneuver the vehicle into a space in less time than it takes to undergo and recover from open heart surgery, it is not permitted to park in that space. 3. If you are waiting for an elevator that is slow to come and you are the sort of person who pushes the call button repeatedly in the belief that it will make a difference, you are no longer permitted to use elevators. 4. Boxes of Christmas cards that carry messages like "May your holidays be wrapped in warmth and touched with wonder" must bear a label on the outside of the box saying: "Do Not Purchase - Message Inside Is Embarrassing and Sentimental." 5. In office buildings and retail premises in which entry is through double doors and one of those doors is locked for no reason, the door must bear a large sign saying: "This Door Is Locked for No Reason." 6. Liver and goat cheese will no longer be regarded as foods. In fancy restaurants, salads may no longer contain anything that can be found growing at the side of any public highway. 7. When standing in line at a retail establishment, it is not permitted to engage the sales assistant in conversation regarding the weather, the health or personal relationships of mutual acquaintances or other matters not relevant to the purchase. 7a. Anyone who reaches the front of a line and says, "Now what do I want?" and purses his lips thoughtfully or drums his fingers on his chin while studying the ordering options as if for the first time will be taken outside and shot. 8. Any electronic clock on which the time is set by holding down a button and scrolling laboriously through the minutes and hours is illegal. Also, when you are trying to set the alarm for, say, 7:00 a.m. and the numbers get to about 6:52 and then suddenly speed up and you discover that you have gone past the desired hour and have to start all over, that is extremely illegal. 9. All Americans will appreciate irony. Britons will under- stand that two ice cubes in a drink is not nearly enough. [This list was written by Bill Bryson in his book I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF. The original list contained several other items, but that would have made it too long for publication here, and to tell you the truth the other items weren't really that funny anyway.] -<>- >SOMETIMES... Sometimes... when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you are in pain, no one sees your hurt. Sometimes... when you are worried, no one sees your stress. Sometimes... when you are happy, no one sees your smile. . z$$$$$e. .$$$$$$$$$c -r d $$$$$$$$$$$. *c. 'L 4$$$$$$$$$$$F 4c "*e. "%c ^$$$$$$$$$$$F "b ^b "* *$$$$$$$$$$ .. P $ J" ^*$$$$$$$$\e$$$e. d" .F z" "*$$$P".$$$$$$$c d% J" .d" .P $$$$$$$$$$e. $ P z*" .d" $$$$$$$$$$$$b. ^*ee... " zP" "*$$$$$$$$$$$$$ee.. ^""* .d" .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$eee......eeedec. e* .ze z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b. .P" .z@*" z$$$$$""*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$c ^ eP"" d$$$$$" "*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ " .d$$$$P" ^"*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ****$eee .$$$$$* ^"$$$$$$$$$$*$$$$$$$$$$$" ec. .z$$$$$" "*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$*" ""**ec. .zed$$$$$$$" "*$$$$$$$$$$*" "" .d$$$$$$$P" .d$$$$$$$*" z$$$$$$$$" .$$$$$$$*" d$$$$$*" z$$$$" .$$$$$ Gilo94' But fart just ONE TIME! ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: .-. _.--"""".o/ .-.-._ __' ."""; { _J ,__ `. ; o\.-.`._.'J; ; / `- / ; `--i`". `" .'; `._ __.' | \ `""" \ `; : `."-. ; ____/ / `-.` `-.-' `"-..' ___ `;__.-'" `. .-{_ `--._ /.-" `-. / ""T ""---...' _.-"" """-. `. ; / __.-"". `. `, _.. \ / __.-"" '. \ `.,__ .'L' } `---"`-.__ __." .-. j `. : `. .' ,' / """" / \ : `. | F' \ ; ; `-._,L_,-""-. `-, ; ` ; / `. 7 `-._ `.__/_ \/ \ _; \ _.' `-. / `---" `.___,, ;"" \ .' _/ ; `" .-" _,-' { ""; ;-.____.'`. fsc `. \ '. : \ : : / `':/ ` >Things you would never know without the Movies [Edited] - During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. - If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing parade or festival - at any time of year. - The Chief of Police will almost always suspend the star detective - or give them 48 hours to finish the job. - The Chief of Police will almost always be a woman or a person of color. - All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. - The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected. - The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. - If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now. - If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. - When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. - Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. - If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. - Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Police Dogs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/policedogs.html Pet Helpers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pethelpers.html Bizarre Nature 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bizarrenature2.html Nanny Animals 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals3.html Animal Friends 5!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends5.html Awww Animals 10!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals10.html Big Baby Big Dogs 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigdogs2.html Look Who's Talking 9!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking9.html Amazing Albino Animals!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/albino.html Adorable Baby Elephants!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyelephants.html Hand-Sized Baby Animals!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyanimals2.html Kisses Sweeter Than Honey!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kisses.html Sweet Animals With Flowers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalswithflowers.html -<>- >Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :) Fun Pages http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559 -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) 26 magic tricks you don't want to miss. This magician has some really great tricks up his sleeve.....literally. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xcSsPFWXb4 --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouuiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Some Funny Stuff - Boys! http://tinyurl.com/qx7pmpt --- ...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Jaguar Fishing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCIP--MsqnM This is amazing … you have not seen a dolphin show like this one https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/pRFq7K4vCSk?rel=0 --- ...Wowsers! Love dolphins! Thanks Linda! Ride a bike? http://viewpure.com/MFzDaBzBlL0?ref=bkmk Weightlifting Video http://tinyurl.com/goy99j5 --- ...Oh Yeah Linda! I can see us there! TeeHee! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Donald Trump Jr. spoke at the Republican Convention and said his dad was his best friend, which is sweet and a little sad. I was imagining if my dad was running for president, and I thought about it for a long time. I think my speech would say, 'My dad taught me the most important thing - when someone offers you his finger and asks you to pull it, don't. Nothing good comes of it.'" -Jimmy Kimmel "A 91-year-old woman in Germany is under investigation for destruction of property after she tried filling in words on a crossword puzzle on display at an art museum. If charged, the woman could face time in a four-letter word for enclosure." -Seth Meyers "Scientists have discovered that men are genetically programed to look at other women. So sorry, ladies, it's science. I've got to do what I've got to do." -Conan O'Brien "A math blogger says he's figured out 'the world's favorite number.' It turns out that it's 7. The least popular number? The fake phone number you get when you tell a girl you're a math blogger." -Jimmy Fallon "A 94-year-old man from Indiana just became the oldest person to get a six degree black belt in taekwondo. While nobody has the heart to tell him the wooden board he chopped through was just a graham cracker." -Jimmy Fallon "The game Pokemon Go is actually making people visit remote, potentially dangerous areas. On the bright side, they finally found a way to get people to attend the Rio Olympics." -Conan O'Brien "At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual." -Patrick Moore "In Florida, a woman who's a special needs teacher by day, has been arrested for working as a prostitute at night. When asked about it, the woman said her clients at night also have "special needs." -Conan O'Brien "The trouble with heart disease is that the first symptom is often hard to deal with - sudden death." -Michael Phelps >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************