Redneck Definitions And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This adorable hot tottie is from our friends Linda, Geniann, and Johanna. It is sure to give you your aww quota for the day! Give it plenty of time to load and check it out here: Nanny Animals 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals3.html --- ...awww, Love this series! Just too cute! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: A Congressmen's Lunch .;;;;;. .3333o ;;;` e\ /a Y33 ;;( > < )33 /\\ _< o@*O@o >_ .-/ /\ ||/'--( *O\@/o )--'\|| || \ \ _ > < _ / / || || \ \| |~| / \ |~| |/ / || || \ '-'__...._|_|__\___/__|_|_...__'-' / || || '--/` `\--' || ||.--'` | | `'--.|| || | | || ||'===== '--...._________________.....--' ====='|| ||.-"""""-.||| | | |||.-"""""-.|| || || || | | ||| || || ||-'|| ||__|__ __|__||| ||'-|| || jgs ||_.___) (___._||| || A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted. "Of course I'm lying," the other said, "but hear me out." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 29 is Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day July 30 is National Cheesecake Day July 31 is Parent's Day August 1 is Friendship Day and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day August 2 is National Ice Cream Sandwich Day August 3 is National Watermelon Day August 4 is Twins Day Festival ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ( ( ( ) ( ) ( ( Y Y ( ) ( ) |"| |"| Y Y | | | | |"| |"| | |.-----| |---.___ | | | | .--| |,~~~~~| |~~~,,,,'-| | | |-,,~~'-'___ '-' ~~| |._ .| |~ // ___ '-',,'. /,'-' <_// // _ __ ~,\ / ; ,-, \\_> <<_' ____________;_) | ; {(_)} _, ._>>`'-._ | | ; '-'\_\/> '-._ | |\ ~,,, _\__ ,,,,,'-. | | '-._ ~~,,, ,,,~~ __.-'~ | | | '-.__ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ __.-' |__| |\ `'----------'` _| | '=._ __.=' | : '=.__ __.=' | \ `'==========='` .' snd '-._ __.-' '-.__ __.-' `'-----------'` >Big Birthday My mother-in-law asked her granddaughter if she was excited about her upcoming birthday. "Yes," the granddaughter gravely replied, "it's a big birthday. I've waited my whole life to be four." -<>- >How Long Have You Been Married? When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years", he replied. -<>- >Mass Hysteria A professor of clinical psychology at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand, included a lecture on crowd psychology in his annual course. To illustrate mass hysteria, he regularly showed TV news footage of teenage crowds greeting the Beatles at the local airport in the 1960's. One year, when he ran the footage, he heard squeals and bursts of laughter from his students. When the film ended he asked what had caused the hilarity. Replied one student, "We recognized some of our mothers!" -<>- >New Trend There is a strange new trend in our office ... putting names on the food in the company refrigerator. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin. -<>- >Traffic Stop Returning home from a restaurant, two friends and I were stopped by a police officer. As the driver handed his license and registration over, he asked the officer if he had been speeding. "You were doing just under 60 in a 50 zone, but I'm not going to give you a ticket," the officer said. We were puzzled when he asked my friend to open the trunk, and more puzzled when he asked him to go around to the back of the car with him. "I've got a burnt out taillight," the officer stated. "Oh, no! Not again!" he exclaimed. "I just replaced one a few weeks ago." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ,__ _, \~\| ~~---___ , | \ | Wash.| | ~~~~~~~|~~~~~| ~~---, _ VT_/,ME> /~-_--__| | Montana |N Dak\ Minn/ ~\~_/Mich. /~| ||,' |Oregon | \ |------| { WI / /~) __-NY',|_\,NH / |Ida.|~~~~~~~~|S Dak.\ \ | | '~\ |_____,|~,-'Mass. |~~--__ | | Wyoming|____ |~~~~~|--| |__ /_-'Penn.{,~Conn (RI) | | ~~~|~~| | ~~\ Iowa/ `-' |`~ |~_____{/NJ | | Nev | '---------, Nebr.\----| |IN|OH,' ~/~\,|`MD (DE) ', \ |Utah| Colo. |~~~~~~~| \IL| ,'~~\WV/ VA | |Cal\ | | | Kansas| MO \_-~ KY /`~___--\ ', \ ,-----|-------+-------'_____/__----~~/N Car./ '_ '\| | |~~~|Okla.| | Tenn._/-,~~-,/ \ |Ariz.| New | |_ |Ark./~~|~~\ \,/S Car. ~~~-' | Mex. | `~~~\___|MS |AL | GA / '-,_ | _____| | / | ,-'---~\ `~'~ \ Texas |LA`--,~~~~-~~,FL\ \/~\ /~~~`---` | \ \ / \ | -jorn \ | >Only In America We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car. We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs. We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour. Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes. We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner". We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time. We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild. We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm. In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business. We are the only people in the world who will pay $.50 to park our car while eating a $.25 sandwich. We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it. We run from morning to night trying to keep our earning power up with our yearning power. We're supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car. We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces. --- ...Ironic, Isn't it! LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job -- if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The hood pulls out a .38 pistol and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf man signs, "The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate." The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about and doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger!" --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- ,"=-. / _),`'". ( /a( ), ) ) C = = ?/ ( )) (_ o-< ) ( `-' \; ( \_ ( | \ ) )| \_/} \ \ \(_;/-|_) )/) `._,--/ / / `!__!! ( (_o)) ---`-._, )--- ------( / |---- | ( | :__/|\_; \ |/ )(\_ /_)--` gpyy \_! During a commercial airline flight, an experienced Naval pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items. When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!" Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears. The pilot sadly shook his head, and in true Navy pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum." --- ...TeeHee! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- A couple were vacationing in Yosemite. The wife expressed her concern about camping because of bears and said she would feel more comfortable in a motel. The husband said that he'd like to camp and to calm her concerns, they'd talk to the park ranger to see what the likelihood of a bear encounter would be. The ranger told them, "Well, we haven't seen any grizzlies in this area so far this year, or black bears, for that matter." The wife shrieked, "There's TWO types of bears out here? How can you tell the difference? Which one is more dangerous?" The ranger replied, "Well, that's easy, see, if the bear chases you up the tree and it comes up after you, it's a BLACK bear. If it SHAKES the tree until you fall out, it's a grizzly." The motel room was quite nice. --- ...HaHa! Yeppers! I'd go moteling too! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- .-. | | |=| |=| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |=| jgs |=| |_| .=/I\=. ////V\\\\ |#######| ||||||||| ||||||||| ||||||||| >I Don't Wanna I don't wanna do the dishes I don't wanna do the wash I sprinkled clothes a week ago And now my iron is lost!! I don't wanna rattle pots I don't wanna rattle pans I see the mail light flashin' I wanna chat with friends!! Oh the tables need some dustin' and the floor could sure be mopped But I know if I get started there'll be no place to stop The closets are so full things are falling off the shelves I wish for cleaning fairies and magic little elves. They could sprinkle fairy dust and twitch their little nose The windows would be sparkling I would have no dirty clothes Oh I know that I'm just dreamin' My head is in the sky I must cook that meat that's greying and bake that apple pie The Hubby needs a bath Doggy needs attention Oh.. the other way around I mean my brain is in suspension I am runnin' round in circles I am gettin' nothin' done, I keep thinking of my web I am missing all the fun!!! Well I know I'm not addicted though I hear that all the time But I guess this stuff can wait on me Cause Today I'll Be On Line!!! --- ...LMAO! That's me every day! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: We have all been there (well, most of us, anyway), after a few too many drinks we decide we are going to do something we regret later. Usually it is something juvenile and stupid. But every now and then something life-threateningly stupid is attempted, like the stunt pulled off by this man. John Morillo wanted to prove he could swim across the Detroit River from Canada to the U.S. after a night of drinking. "I was drinking, but I wasn't really drunk," Morillo, 47, of Windsor, said. "The thing is, I've been telling people I'm going to swim across the river for years and they're like 'yah, yah, blah, blah, you can't make it.' So, I don't know, last night I just decided it was the time to go." Morillo said he regrets causing problems for authorities, including Windsor police and Coast Guard crews from the U.S. and Canada. Three boats and a helicopter responded. "As soon I saw the helicopters going by and the boats looking for me, I was like 'oh, this is really stupid,'" Morillo said. The incredible thing is, Morillo actually made it across to Detroit, getting out of the water near downtown's Renaissance Center. He was swimming back when he was found by the U.S. Coast Guard. During his stop on the Detroit side of the river he said people wanted to take his picture. He will likely be fined for swimming in a shipping channel, which could be $5,000 to $25,000. *-- 112-year-old New York state man declared world's oldest --* GRAND ISLAND, N.Y. - Guinness World Records announced a 112-year-old New York state man, Salustiano Sanchez Blazquez, is the oldest man in the world. Guinness said Blazquez, of Grand Island, who was born June 8, 1901, in Spain, became the world's oldest man following the death of Jiroemon Kimura of Japan, who died June 12 at age 116. Misao Okawa, 115, of Japan, is currently the overall world's oldest living person. Guinness said Blazquez told officials he "does not feel he has accomplished anything special because he happens to be living longer than other men." Blazquez -- who enjoys gardening, crossword puzzles and nightly gin rummy games -- attributed his longevity to a daily routine that includes eating a banana and an Anacin. *-- Some residents disapprove of urinating statue --* OREBRO, Sweden - Some residents of a Swedish town said they are not amused by a 26-foot-tall sculpture of a male figure urinating into a river. The "Bad Bad Boy" sculpture, by Finnish artist Tommi Toija, was installed as part of the Orebro Open Art exhibition on the bank of the River Svartan, The Local.se reported Thursday. A 34-year-old resident who gave her name as Anna said she "really hates" the sculpture and finds its nudity and urination "provocative." However, another resident, Ebba, 62, said she was slightly amused by the work. "I think it's interesting," she said. "But I am happy it is not here forever." Toijas said there is no correct way to interpret his sculpture. "For me, it's just a guy peeing in the river, no more, no less. Some might see it as a funny thing, others might be provoked," he said. The sculpture is scheduled to be in place until Sept. 1. *-- Archaeologists find vampire grave site in Poland --* GLIWICE, Poland - Archaeologists in Poland say they have discovered a grave filled with the skeletons of apparent accused vampires. Jacek Pierzak, one of the archaeologists, said the skeletons found at a construction site near the town of Gliwice had their heads removed and placed atop their legs, a practice common in Slavic regions when the deceased were accused of vampirism, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday. The accused vampires would sometimes be decapitated and would other times be hanged until decomposition separated the head from the body, historians say. The heads would be placed atop the legs to make it more difficult for the alleged undead to locate if they rose from the grave, they say. Pierzak said it is difficult to determine when the bodies were buried as the team had not found any items such as jewelry, buttons and belt buckles, the British newspaper said. *-- Man in Superman costume arrested for heroin possession --* WASILLA, Alaska - A man standing on a highway and wearing a Superman costume in Wasilla, Alaska, was arrested after he was found in possession of heroin, police said. A costumed Patrick Campbell, 23, of Wasilla was "waving at traffic" while standing in the middle of the Parks Highway Sunday night, a statement from the Alaska State Troopers said. Campbell was found to be in possession of an undisclosed amount of heroin, and was arrested, the Anchorage Daily News reported Monday. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) _____ / \ Hmmm...Let me think (____/\ ) about all this now ...... |___ U?(____ _\L. | \ ___ / /"""\ /.-' | |\ | ( / _/u | \___|_)_| \| \\ / / \_(___ __) | \\ / / | | | | ) _/ / ) | | _\__/.-' /___( | | _/ __________/ \ | | // / ( ) | | ( \__|___\ \______ /__|____| \ (___\ |______)_/ \ |\ \ \ / \ | \__ ) )___/ \ \ )/ /__( ___ | /_//___| \_________ _/ ( / OUuuu \ `----'(____________) Michael Reeung >Stuff You Might Not Have Known... In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb' ---- Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language. ---- The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone. ---- Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. ---- Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ---- Coca-Cola was originally green. ---- It is impossible to lick your elbow. ---- The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work is Alaska ---- The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ---- The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% ---- The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400 ---- The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000 ---- Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.. ---- The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer. ---- The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. ---- Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs - Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar ---- 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ---- If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes ---- Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. ---- Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'? A. One thousand Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? A. All were invented by women. Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight' It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's' Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice. At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow! -------- Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? -<>- >YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2013 when... 1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries... 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~ NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself. Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to! Go lick your elbow. --- ...No idea about most of these! LOL! Thanks Geniann! ============================================================== >-->From our Friend Melody :) /""""" | (')') C _) Redneck Definitions! \ _| \__/ <___Y> / \ :\\ / | :|\ |___| :|/\ | | :|\ \ \ \ :| \ \_ \ \==L| \\\ ///` || | || | || | || | || | || | || [___]] jgs (____)) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously. You are going to die anyway, so live life >Medical Terms and their Redneck Definition: Artery - The study of paintings Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria Barium - What doctors do when patients die Benign - What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome Cat scan - Searching for Kitty Cauterize - Made eye contact with her Colic - A sheep dog Coma - A punctuation mark Dilate - To live long Enema - Not a friend Fester - Quicker than someone else Fibula - A small lie Impotent - Distinguished, well known Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane Morbid - A higher offer Nitrates - Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days Node - I knew it Outpatient - A person who has fainted Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative - A letter carrier Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery Rectum - Nearly killed him Secretion - Hiding something Seizure - Roman Emperor Tablet - A small table Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport Tumor - One plus one more Urine - Opposite of you're out --- ...LOL! That explains it! Thanks Melody! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _.._ .-" "-. / ,- -. \ : ' o o ` ; ; . , : : :-.__.-: ; \ :_: :_: / `-._ _.-' bug "" I was leaving for a two-day conference, and my seven-year- old daughter, Katherine, was becoming overly clinging and teary. I was mystified at her emotional reaction until I heard her say to my husband, "Daddy, I have a loose tooth. If it falls out while Mommy is gone, do you know how to handle this tooth fairy thing?" -<>- My wife was in her gynecologist's busy waiting room when a cell phone rang. A woman answered it, and for the next few minutes, she explained to her caller in intimate detail her symptoms and what she suspected might be wrong. Suddenly the conversation shifted, and the woman said, "Him? I'm finished with him." Then she added, "Can we talk about this later? It's rather personal, and I'm in a room full of people." -<>- When our ship stopped in the Atlantic Ocean for a 'swim call,' the chief boatswain noticed how nervous I was. "Don't worry," he assured me. "You are never more than three miles from land." Then he added, "Straight down." -<>- The teacher in an adult Sabbath class asked a woman to read about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!'" she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month - until you loathe it." When the woman finished she paused, looked up and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?" -<>- During a bank robbery the police chief told the sergeant to cover all exits so the robbers could not get away. Later the sergeant reports to the chief. "Sorry Sir, but they got away." The chief very angry says, "I told you to cover all of the exits!" "I did," replied the sergeant, "but they got away through the entrance." -<>- The Washington Post had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it "in the old days." Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below. Second Runner-Up: In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. First Runner-Up: In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today. And the winner: In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. Honorable Mentions: In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes. In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked- off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar. In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise. Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just a bunch of gray- haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray- haired, liberal 60-year-old guys. Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: ............. .... .... .. .. .. .. . ___ ___ . . / , \ / , \ . . \___/ \___/ . .. . .. . .. O . . | | . . \ / . . \ / . .. \______________/ .. .. \_____\ \ \/ .. .... | \ |.... ...... | | | Derek S. Tan \___/ >Top Ten Signs You're Not Mensa Material 10. You couldn't figure out how to break the seal on your standardized intelligence test, so you had to give up. 9. You wonder how the deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs. 8. You are confused by the plot twists of a Bugs Bunny cartoon. 7. You once tried to solve a Rubik's cube and had to be institutionalized for over a year. 6. You had trouble getting in even before they saw the decimal point in your IQ. 5. You are still struggling to finish "Shoe Laces For Dummies." 4. Your family had a celebration when you scored a "perfect 10" points on your SAT. 3. You don't watch PBS because there are no Budweiser or Taco Bell commercials. 2. Homer Simpson is your idol. 1. That "which comes first" thing about chicken and eggs just makes you hungry. -<>- -------______ | ) +++++. | \' ental+ | Q rgeon+ | )C ~\/\ +++++' | \\_ \ ___ | \_77 |\ | EJM 96 | |`` \ \ | ------- """ ~ ~ o-o >The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy 10) Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth. 9) His restrooms are labeled "Bleeders" and "Non-Bleeders" 8) Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance. 7) Does an extensive search for cavities...dental and body. 6) He...ummm..licks his tools clean. 5) Gets pissed when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line. 4) When you come to from being under the gas, he's quick to insist that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his office. 3) Wears a necklace made of human teeth. 2) Has a grindstone in the office for his tools. 1) Insists that a Novocaine shot is something that he'll buy you at a bar if you just go out with him. -<>- .-------. _|~~ ~~ |_ =(_|_______|_)= |:::::::::| |:::::::[]| |o=======.| jgs `"""""""""` >----- Senior Texting Code ----- ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered By Medicare CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center DWI: Driving While Incontinent FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers FWIW: Forgot Where I Was FYI: Found Your Insulin GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low! GHA: Got Heartburn Again HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out LOL: Living On Lipitor LWO: Lawrence Welk's On OMMR: On My Massage Recliner OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas. ROFLCGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop TTYL: Talk To You Louder WAITT: Who Am I Talking To? WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again WTP: Where's The Prunes? WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Playing With Food 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/food3.html Fun With Nature! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nature.html Whale Rescue 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whalerescue2.html Deer Rescue! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/deerrescue.html Humor In Religion 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion3.html Parenting No-No's 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting2.html Parenting No-No's 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting3.html Beaches In S.Korea! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beaches2.html Boys To Pres.! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boystopres.html Morons At Work! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork.html Life's Little Oops 10! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops10.html Germany's Water Bridge! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wbridge.html -<>- >from Our Friend Wesley :) ripped : lie spotting http://tinyurl.com/22nmjb5 --- ...Hey! Great to hear from you again! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From Our Friend Bunni :) Some Good Videos... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEsVOIlDtzg https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NMeuwYvlBI0 http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=sls5M5YWIOQ&feature=youtu.be --- ...Oh Yeah, Thanks Bunni! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) A five-year-old boy http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/j694.html --- ...Teehee! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From our Friend LouiseA :) This isn't a joke, but a question an Italian farming family had to ask itself. One of its zebras proved that love can't be caged when it broke into the habitat of an endangered donkey. A little while later, Ippo was born. Ippo, who the family is calling a "zonkey," isn't the first of his kind. In fact, a similar animal was born in 2010 in a small town in Georgia. Scientists also call them zedonks or zebroids. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYdOSYwspU0&feature=player_detailpage --- ...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Check out Hangman Game! http://tinyurl.com/l3alghg Daffy Duck Parachute | I Am Bored http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=9951 Kitten vs Scary Tennis Ball - A Video on KillSomeTime.com http://www.killsometime.com/videos/7098/Kitten-vs-Scary-Tennis-Ball --- ...TeeHee! Great! Nicely orchestrated too! Thanks Melody! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A lot of guys go to Comic-Con dressed as super heroes. Comic-Con is a great place to go if you want to see what all your favorite super heroes would look like if they stopped working out and ate only ice cream." -Craig Ferguson "Two hundred cows recently died in a field in Wisconsin. Nobody knows the cause of death, but they suspect boredom." -Conan O'Brien "The temperature got up to a 100 here in New York City. And now doctors are warning people about something called 'heat rage.' It's a real thing, where people to overreact when it gets too hot. It's similar to those other conditions in New York: cold rage, lukewarm rage, and just regular old rage." -Jimmy Fallon "According to a new study, lying gets easier over time. People get better at lying the more they do it. See, that's why you have to have term limits." -Jay Leno "The royal baby has been born. The royal baby was officially welcomed with a 62-gun salute. Because if there's one thing babies love, it's the sound of repeated artillery fire." -Conan O'Brien "A new report says that Audis are more likely to be driven by men who cheat on their wives. While their wives are more likely to wind up with that Audi." -Jimmy Fallon "According to a new survey that just came out, the issue most on the minds of college students is whether they'll be able to find a job when they graduate. Experts say it's silly for college students to worry about whether or not they'll be able to find a job - because the answer is no." -Conan O'Brien "A new study says that whether or not you're shy depends on your jeans. I knew that years ago - if you wear jeans that show off your thong, you're not shy." -Craig Ferguson "The president had to change his motto from 'Yes, we can,' to 'Yes, we finally did something.'" - Jay Leno "Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don't know; that actually might make me START smoking." -Jimmy Kimmel "Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped." - Groucho Marx "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt." - Dean Martin "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." - Chinese Proverb "The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected." - Will Rogers >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************