Remember When And More... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To UnSubscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
AND For Facebook Users:
Please Friend Me / Like Me here...
http://tinyurl.com/cma6all
AND For Google Plus Users:
You can find me here... Shangy Bigham
https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts
AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family!
^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :)
-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
These two super scorchers are from our friends PatDeE
and Geniann.
The first one is pretty interesting as well as being on
the humorous side. These owners sure did hit the mark
with these! Sure to give you some smiles. Give it plenty
of time to load and check it out here...
_
.-T | _
| | | / |
| | | / /`|
_ | | |/ / /
\`\| '.' / /
\ \`-. '--|
\ ' |
\ .` /
jgs | |
Ingenious Business Names!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/businessnames.html
This second hot new page is sure to leave you not a little
stunned. There is information here that may even flabbergast
you! It is wonderful to think of how awesome God made our
human bodies! Check this one out here....
_
\`\
|= |
/- ;.---.
_ __.' (____)
` (_____)
_' ._ .' (____)
` (___)
jgs --`'------'`
Amazing Human Body!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanbody.html
---
...Super fun and educationally interesting! Thank You PatDeE
and Geniann! Great additions to the site!
=======================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone: Tell Us Your Age
____________________________
/ //======================/`"-._
| ||======================| D A census taker knocked
jgs \___\\====___===______==____\__.-" on a lady's door.
She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him
her age.
"But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said.
"Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she
asked.
"Certainly." he replied
"Well, I'm the same age as they are." she snapped.
"As old as the Hills," he wrote on his form.
_ _
(_'-----------------------------------------------'_)
(_.===============================================._)
REMEMBER WHEN...
Robert's Rules Of Computer Order
__________
.'` | |`'.
You will never have an extra blank disk. | '-----' |
| |
If you do bring along a blank disk, you | .--------. |
won't need it. | |--------| |
| |--------| |
If you don't bring along a blank disk, it | |--------| |
will be the only available opportunity to | ;--------; |
obtain a copy of a hitherto unattainable jgs |__:________:__|
and uniquely appropriate program.
If someone else is watching while you are doing anything on the
computer, anything at all, it will screw up (that's a technical
term).
The percentage chances of screwing up increase in direct proportion
to the size of your audience.
No matter how simple it seems to you, your explanation will be more
than they want to know.
You will amaze yourself at how much you know.
You will amaze your mother at how much you know about computers.
You will always have one disk envelope too few. Or too many.
The only pieces of data you will ever lose are the ones you were
going to save just as soon as you finished typing a couple more
lines. _
_ /||
The update of your program will use the ( } \||D
keys for something entirely different in | /\__,=_[_]
this version than it did when you first |_\_ |----|
learned it. | |/ | |
jgs | /_ | |
You will not understand it the first time
you read it in the manual.
You will understand it better the next time you read the manual. For
no discernible reason.
When you are late for an interview and need a last minute copy of
your resume your printer will go down. It will always go down. It
doesn't care. Nowhere in your repair manual will it ever tell you
what you really need to do, which is to turn the darn thing off and
get yourself a cup of coffee/tea.
_)
You will never know what a user file is. .--'
__(__
The price of anything you buy will stay the /` | `\
same until the actual impact of your money | Q |
on the bottom of the cash drawer, at which |___|___|
time it will automatically re-list itself in | |
next Thursday's paper at 30% less. | |
| |
Staring at the screen for 97 continuous \ /
minutes will not necessarily reveal to you jgs '.___.'
the secret location of any colon that should
have been typed in as a semi. Or vice versa.
It will always seem like your friend got a better deal.
The 800 number will be busy.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
October 12 is Old Farmer's Day and Moment of Frustration Day
October 13 is International Skeptics Day
October 14 is Emergency Nurses Day and National Dessert Day
October 15 is International Newspaper Carrier Day and White Cane Safety
October 16 is Bosses Day and Dictionary Day
October 17 is Sweetest Day and Wear Something Gaudy Day
October 18 is No Beard Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
.-""""""-.
.' '.
/ O O \
: :
| |
: ', ,' :
\ '-.____.-' /
'. U .'
jgs '-......-'
>Dog Temperament
At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test
for a canine's disposition was for an owner to fall down and act
hurt. A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person,
whereas a good dog would lick his owner's face or show concern.
Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out
this theory on my two dogs. I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a
scream and collapsed on the floor.
The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other and raced to the coffee
table for my pizza.
-<>-
>The Hamper
I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into
the hamper. He looked puzzled, and I explained. "You know; it's the
place where we put our dirty clothes before they're washed."
My son picked up his things, trotted into my bedroom, and dropped his
clothes on the floor ... on his father's side of the bed.
-<>-
>Quite Busy
I went shopping with my friend, and I saw a humorous button that
said, "It might look like I'm doing nothing, but on a cellular level,
I'm quite busy."
I showed it to her, and her response was, "Oh, I should buy that one,
I'm always talking on mine."
-<>-
>Security Exit
When I worked for the security department of a large retail store, my
duties included responding to fire and burglar alarms. A side door of
the building was wired with a security alarm, because it was not
supposed to be used by customers. Nevertheless they found the
convenience of the exit tempting. Even a sign with large red letters,
warning "Alarm will sound if opened," failed to deter people from using it.
One day, after attending to a number of shrieking alarms, I placed a
small handmade sign on the door that totally eliminated the problem:
"Wet Paint."
-<>-
>Suggestion Box
Some of my co-workers and I decided to remove the small, wooden
suggestion box from our office because it had received so few
entries. We stuck the box on top of a seven-foot-high metal storage
cabinet and then promptly forgot about it.
Months later, when the box was moved during remodelling, we found a
single slip of paper inside. The suggestion read, "Lower the box!"
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
_.-'''''-._
.' _ _ '.
/ (_) (_) \
| , , |
| \`. .`/ |
\ '.`'""'"`.' /
'. `'---'` .'
jgs '-._____.-'
>SMILES
Judi had her eye on Jaguar XK140 convertible she spotted at a local
dealership. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its
gorgeous red paint work. After she got her bonus check at work, she
decided to finally get it and few hours later she was tearing down the
leafy country road enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair
was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could
possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly
coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the hood and concluded after
a few minutes that she didn't have any clue what was wrong. Luckily she
had her cell phone with her and made a call to the AAA. After a short
wait, she saw a AAA car pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the
matter?"
Judi replied, "Well, it just broke down I'm afraid."
"Let me have look."
He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat
again. "Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?"
"Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked, "Oh. How many times a week do I have to do
that?"
--------
An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a
state trooper. "You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to
give you a ticket."
"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several
flies.
"These flies sure are terrible," the trooper complained.
"Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies."
"What's a circle fly?"
"Them flies that circle a horse's tail," answered the farmer. "Them are
circle flies."
"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's ass, would you?" the trooper
angrily asked.
"Nope, I didn't," the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them
flies."
--------
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and is surprised by the turnout for
this one man. He turns to the people around him.
"Why are you all at this man's funeral?"
A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients."
"And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching."
"No, we came to make sure he was dead."
--------
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment.
The next day the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him
at 5 am for an early flight to Sydney.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a
piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5 am."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 am, and
that he had missed his flight!
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't awakened him
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. It said, "It's 5 am, wake
up."
-------
An elderly woman was driving along in her VW Beetle when the motor
sputtered. She pulled to the side of the road, got out, and looked
under the hood.
Several minutes later another woman stopped her car (also a VW Beetle)
and asked if she could be of help. The perplexed owner looked from
under the hood and said, "it seems as though I don't have a motor."
The second woman politely answered, "That's okay, I've got an extra one
in the trunk you can have."
--------
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said: "Since we
are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering
payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in
my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then
added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a
little change..."
--------
The drunk was brought into night court, having been picked up on
suspicion of being the notorious night prowler.
"What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried.
"I was going to a lecture."
"A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful.
"Oh, sure," said the drunk. "Sometimes my wife stays up longer than
that."
--------
.-""""""-.
.((( ))).
/ (O) (O) \
: :
| @ @ |
: _.-..-._ :
\ '-..-' /
'. .'
jgs '-......-'
A woman goes to the vet with her goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy" she tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
The woman says, "well wait - I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"
--------
A guy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", shouts the guy, "this is her husband!"
--------
Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami,
are getting ready to go out to dinner. Shirley says, "Abe, darling, do
you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?"
Abe asks, "Do I care?"
A few minutes later, Shirley asks, "Abe, should I wear my Cartier watch
or my Rolex?"
Abe says, "Who cares?"
A few more minutes pass; Shirley says, "Abe, love, shall I wear my
five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with
the baguettes?"
Abe answers, "Shirley, I really don't care what you wear, but if you
don't move your butt, we're going to miss the Early Bird Special at
McDonalds!"
--------
A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her
Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother
and bursts into her Grandpa's room. "Grandpa, Grandpa!" she says
excitedly, "as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like
a frog!"
"What?" said her Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog, because my mom said that as soon as you
croak, we're all going to Disney World!
-------
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old
sea-captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir."
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?"
"Throw out another anchor."
"Hold on," said the Captain, "where are you getting all your anchors
from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."
--------
The elderly husband and wife, both a little hard of hearing, were
watching golf on TV.
The husband turned to his wife of some 50 years and said, "In my next
life, I'm going to be rich and play all those beautiful golf courses
with their great bars and dining and dancing areas."
The wife quickly responded, "How will you be able to manage all that
with your bad legs? You can barely walk!"
"I said, '..in my next life ... '" the husband replied.
"Oh," she said. I thought you said, ' ... with my next wife ... '"
--------
Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to
dismantle the entire fixture, no small feat for a non-plumber.
Jammed inside the drain was a purple rubber dinosaur, which
belonged to my five-year-old son. I painstakingly got all the
toilet parts together again, the tank filled, and I flushed it.
It was no better than before!
As I pondered what to do next, my son walked into the bathroom.
I pointed to the dinosaur I had just dislodged. "Is that yours?"
I asked, knowing the answer.
"Yeah! He replied excitedly. "Did you get the green one, too?"
--------
Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to
point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had
acquired over their long years of marriage.
"The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got
just to see how much it's all worth."
"But you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going
to die, so how could you sell it."
"Simple: If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"
---
...LOL! Good ones! Thanks LouiseA!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
|\ | | ||\ \ /(_~ |~)|_~|\/||_~|\/||~)|_~|~)
|~\|_|/\||~\ | ,_) |~\|__| ||__| ||_)|__|~\
\ //~\| | |\ |~)|_~ | ||\ ||/~\| ||_~
| \_/\_/ |~\|~\|__ \_/| \||\_X\_/|__
(J U S T L I K E E V E R Y O N E E L S E)
_____ _____ _____ _____
.' '. .' '. .' '. .' '.
/ o o \ / o o \ / o o \ / o o \
| | | | | | | |
| \ / | | \ / | | \ / | | \ / |
\ '---' / \ '---' / \ '---' / \ '---' /
jgs '._____.' '._____.' '._____.' '._____.'
>Fred
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,
‘’Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man didn't
budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from
there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing. The usher
marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the
manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old
disheveled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy
what's your name?"
"Fred," the old man moaned.
"Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer.
With a terrible grunt in his voice, and without moving, Fred
replied......"The balcony....."
-<>-
>Red Neck Vacation
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob
tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only
this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your
advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and
Earlene got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene
got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get
pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
"I've decided that this here year, I'm a taking Earlene with me."
-<>-
>Not feeling well
I’m sorry I’ve not been very responsive to your emails of late. I have
been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I
have an acute case of PIST-AWF. For those of you, who do not know of
PIST-AWF, let me explain. PIST-AWF is a newly defined 6 year old
widespread and contagious disease, affecting those of moral character
and common sense.
During January, 2015 doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing
this new disease that has already infected over half of the United
States, and is anticipated to spread to some Western Bloc Countries.
The disease itself affects all the cell structures of a person's body
and then appears dormant. Although appearing dormant, the disease
ravages the body, leaving the tell-tale signs of its attack with
visible and very painful signs. These signs have been labeled: "Post
Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue."
* Symptoms include:
Severe pain of the scalp from pulling at your own hair while viewing
the President pandering to Muslim terrorists.
Uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the O'Reilly factor.
Loose bowel movements from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice.
·Extreme hunger due to acid –reflux and severe vomiting from the
nightly viewing of Muslims murdering innocent people.
Bleeding from the eyes. This is not linked to Ebola, as it is your
eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al
Sharpton as a legitimate news show host and starting a new chapter in
your city area.
Since the disease consumes the entire body, the affected people will be
identified by the disease’s official designation: PIST-AWF for "Post
Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue."
If you feel you are PIST-AWF, please notify your local election
commission and place your name on the list for the cure. It is expected
the cure will be available in November of 2016 and will be offered by a
credible conservative candidate.
.-""""""-.
.' \\ // '.
/ O O \
: :
| |
: __ :
\ .-"` `"-. /
'. .'
jgs '-......-'
Yes, I am PIST-AWF.
---
...LOL! Thanks Geniann!
[Politics]
We just need to take a deep breath and wonder where all the people
with brains went to in the Democratic party. Here is the latest
hair puller - 'Obama blames 'politics' for outcry over Clinton
email server 'mistake'.
http://www.foxnews.com/
Really? She uses a private email server as Secretary of State putting
our country at risk. Who knows if hackers got their intel from her
and realized our Benghazi Ambassador was at risk so used it to their
advantage killing him and 3 other Americans? Think about it. General
Petraeus was sentenced to 2 years probation and a $100K fine simply
for sharing classified information with his biographer and lover,
Paula Broadwell.
http://www.cnn.com/2015/04/23/politics/david-petraeus-sentencing/
Who knows how many got access to our countries classified information
from Hillary when she was Secretary of State. This is not a mistake!
She knew full well that all her government emails needed to be kept
safe on the government's safe and hacker free server not on her own
private server. Any fool knows as Secretary of State of the United
States of America that your government emails would be at high risk
by the world's hackers who want to get at government security secrets.
She may have gotten 4 Americans killed and put America at horrible
security risk for many attacks! She is not that stupid! She just felt
she was above the law and could get away with doing whatever she
wanted to without consequences and without caring if she put America
in high danger by her own selfish actions.
.-""""""-.
.' \\ // '.
/ O O \
: :
| |
: __ :
\ .-"` `"-. /
'. .'
jgs '-......-'
Yes - she makes me very PIST-AWF!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From BizarreNews:
I was going to do a story about a nearly 800 pound man who
was in the hospital to lose enough weight so that he could
undergo a gastric bypass surgery. But in 80 days at the
hospital he only lost 20 pounds. Doctors were baffled until
they discovered the man had been ordering pizzas to be
delivered to him IN the hospital.
But then I saw another story about one old coot who was
having trouble figuring out some of this new fangled 'puter
technology.
Police in California, were called to a camera store after
80-years-old Frank Prendergast of San Jose brought them
a secure digital (SD) memory card and asked for help in
recovering some photographs he had saved on there.
Employees contacted the police after they were able to unlock
the memory card and discovered - surprise, surprise - a cache
of child porn!
Officers confirmed that the digital photographs were in
fact child pornography. When Prendergast returned to retrieve
the SD card, he was arrested.
He allegedly admitted to possessing more pornographic photos
at home.
During the search of the elderly man's home, police seized
several computers along with hundreds of VHS tapes.
Apparently he had saved all of his daguerreotypes to that
SD card.
*-- Texas girl's nonstop sneezing baffles doctors --*
ANGLETON, Texas - The family of a 12-year-old Texas girl
who has been sneezing up to 20 times per minute for the
past month said doctors are stumped by the condition.
Angleton resident Katelyn Thornley,12, said her sneezing
fits began about a month ago and she has since been
sneezing up to 20 times per minute -- about 12,000 times
per day. "I'm constantly in pain with my abdomen, my legs
are hurting because I've been weak and I can barely eat,"
Thornley told KTVT-TV. The girl's parents said they have
taken her to six different physicians, who ruled out
allergies and viruses as a cause of the nonstop sneezing.
They said stress appears to make the condition worse.
"Anything you talk to her about that irritates her -- you
can see it spike and continuous sneezing," Thornley's
father told KRIV-TV. "It's easy to trigger." Thornley
said she takes Benadryl to help her sleep at night.
"Sometimes I wish I could leave my body for a little
while so i could watch myself sleep and be at peace
because even in my dreams, I sneeze," she said.
*-- Santa Claus campaigning for North Pole City Council --*
NORTH POLE, Alaska - The city of North Pole, Alaska,
announced the candidates for City Council include a man
with the appropriate legal name of Santa Claus. The
North Pole Clerk's office said Santa Claus, whose festive
moniker is his legal name and is listed on his driver's
license, is running a write-in campaign for the North Pole
City Council. The office said there is only one other
candidate for the office, fellow write-in hopeful La Nae
Bellamy. Claus, former president of the North Pole Chamber
of Commerce, describes himself as "a child advocate" and
"a Christian monk" on his Facebook page. The page makes
an important distinction between Claus the aspiring
politician and Santa Claus the legend -- "PLEASE DO NOT
SEND ME REQUESTS FOR PRESENTS," the Facebook page reads.
"The greatest gift one can give is love." The election
is scheduled for Tuesday. Santa Claus previously ran a
short-lived campaign for president of the United States
in 2012.
*-- Woman does donuts at intersection, flips car, IDs herself
as 'faith, hope and love' --*
GASTONIA, N.C. - North Carolina police said a woman drove
donuts in an intersection, struck four vehicles, flipped
her car and gave her name as "faith, hope and love."
Gastonia Police said witnesses reported the woman was
driving donuts -- tight circles -- with her car about
4:25 p.m. Thursday in a busy intersection and the motorist
temporarily stopped her vehicle when police arrived. An
officer asked the woman her name, and she replied, "Faith,
hope and love," Gastonia Police Capt. Rodney Aldridge
told the Gaston Gazette. The woman backed into the
officer's car and struck it two more times before
continuing to do donuts in the intersection. Police said
the woman struck two civilian cars and a second police
cruiser before she drove down a 12-foot embankment,
knocked over a fire hydrant and flipped her car onto its
roof. Witness Rhonda Helms said police had to pepper spray
the woman to take her into custody. She said the woman
appeared to be singing, "Jesus loves the little children
of the world," as she got out of her car. Police said the
woman, whose name was not released, was taken to a hospital
for evaluation.
*-- Tourists flee as Chinese mountain's glass walkway cracks --*
JIAOZUO, China - Tourists on China's recently-opened glass
walkway on a cliff face 3,540 feet above the ground ran
for their lives when a visitor's mug cracked the glass.
The walkway on Yuntai Mountain in Henan Province, which
opened to the public in September, is closed for repairs
after a tourist dropped a stainless steel mug Monday and
the cup's impact cracked one of three layers of glass on
a section of walkway, Yuntai Mountain Scenic Spot
officials confirmed. Witnesses said on social networking
site Weibo the damage was more severe than indicated by
officials, who said one layer of glass was merely cracked.
Witnesses said a plate of glass had instead shattered in
a "floral" pattern, but remained intact. The broken glass
sent tourists screaming and running for their lives to
get off the walkway, but officials said the tourists were
never in any danger during the incident. They said the
two remaining layers of glass would have been sufficient
to support the weight of the visitors.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Linda :)
.-. .-.
.--' / \ '--.
'--. \ _______ / .--'
\ \ .-" "-. / /
\ \ / \ / /
\ / \ /
\| .--. .--. |/
| )/ | | \( |
|/ \__/ \__/ \|
/ /^\ \
\__ '=' __/
|\ /|
|\'"VUUUV"'/|
\ `"""""""` /
`-._____.-'
jgs / / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
,-' ( ) `-,
`-'._) (_.'-`
>I Didn't Know That
"Stewardesses"
is the longest word typed with only the left hand
And "lollipop"
is the longest word typed with your right hand.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver,
or purple
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
Our eyes are always the same size from birth,
but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
uses every letter of the alphabet.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' , and 'level' are the same whether
they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in
order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on
only one row of the keyboard.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child
reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full
moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would
never end because of the rate of reproduction.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE 2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel
that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube
and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely
solid.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Bonus!! All the ants in Africa weigh more than ALL the Elephants!!
Now you know (a little) more than you did before!!
---
...Cool! Thanks Linda!
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
.-. _)/
(0,0) .\
(u) ()
.-. _\) .-="=-.//
(o,o) \,//==\===
(e) () ===== .-.
.-="=-. \(_ .-. _____ =,= (a.a)
//==I==\\,/ (d.b) ()--___(0V0) (/_ (=)
() ="= () (u) ||()----' \, ___.="==-._
\`(0V0) .-="-. |' \\ ()---` ==\==\\
/|) ||\\ //==/=\\ ==" \' ="= ()
|| \\ ==. () ==== ()_/_ ==" ____(0V0) \`
jgs () () \, `\"= ` ()---` // (|\
// // \\ ___(0);` \)/ .-. || //
'/ '/ ()---' \\ /,(o,o) |' ()
"== "== \\ () (w) ==" \\
() /_ ___ \\,=", \`
// '-()-() =/=\\ =="
'/ //\\|| ==== ()
"== /` \\| ="= `|
==" `(0V0) '--
A co-worker returned after lunch carrying a dress from the
cleaners. "Pretty," said one of the guys. "Big date tonight?"
"I picked it up for a friend," she replied, adding, "Do you
really think I could fit in a tiny thing like this?"
Jerry smiled and said, "Do you really think Ive lived this
long by answering questions like that?"
-<>-
Our son lived at home all four of his undergraduate years.
He moved out only when he went to grad school and got an
apartment. The first time my husband and I went to see his
new place, Matt greeted us, saying, "I'm glad to finally
be the host."
As we walked in the door, my husband whispered to me,
"Instead of the parasite."
-<>-
A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming
to visit her for the holidays. Someone asked how old her
sister was, at which she paused, thought for a bit, and
then answered, "She's half as old as I am, that's how I
always remember."
So someone else (okay, it was me) said, "That's neat... So
every year that you age, she only ages half a year?" My co-
worker thought about that, and then said, "Oh, yeah, I guess
it only works on even years."
-<>-
I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman
behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her
uniform.
"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you
supposed to be?" I asked.
The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."
-<>-
I was on my way out of the house to meet with a cantankerous
client, and I was dreading it. The look on my face must have
given me away because my five-year-old daughter asked what
was wrong.
"I'm going to meet a mean woman who always yells at Daddy,"
I told her.
"Oh," she said. "Say hi to Mom."
-<>-
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his
sons Cain and Abel.
As they passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden, one of
the boys asked, "Father, what's that?"
Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of
house and home."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Karen :)
( (
) ) ( )
( ) ) .---.
) ( .-""-. ( ( / \
( .-""-. ( ) / _ _ \ ) ) |() ()|
/ _ _ \ ) |(_\/_)| .---. ( (_ 0 _)
|(_)(_)| ( .---. (_ /\ _) / \ .-""-. |xxx|
(_ /\ _) / \ |v==v| |<\ />| / _ _ \ '---'
|wwww| |(\ /)|( '-..-' (_ A _) |/_)(_\|
'-..-' (_ o _) ) .---. |===| (_ /\ _)
|===| ( / \ '---' |mmmm|
jgs '---' |{\ /}| '-..-'
(_ V _)
|"""|
'---'
>See how many you get right - 24 Strange BrainTeasers
A set of 24 brainteasers that are quick and each have a creative
answer. How many can you get?
1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced
incorrectly. What is it?
2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What
time is it?
3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart.
The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches
every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's
highest, how many rungs are under water?
4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a
window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is
the bear?
5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?
6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass
on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the
floor. How did sloppy die?
7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that
has been dug with a square edged shovel?
8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water
which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight,
mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, them at the same time,
which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first? Same question, but
the location is in Canada?
9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978,
thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.
10. What can go up a chimney down, but can't go down a chimney up?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the
other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all
in the center field?
12. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?
13. Paul is 20 years old in 1980, but only 15 years old in 1985. How is
this possible?
14. What has four legs but only one foot?
15. How many of each animal did Moses take on the ark?
16. Kindly old Grandfather Lunn
Is twice as old as his son
Twenty-five years ago
Their age ratio
Strange enough was three to one
When does Grandfather celebrate his centenary?
17. Said a certain young lady named Gwen
Of her tally of smitten young men
"one less and three more
Divided by four
Together give one more than ten"
How many boyfriends had she?
18. There was a young fellow named Clive
Whose bees number ten power five
The daughters to each son
Were as nineteen to one,
A truly remarkable hive.
How many sons (drones) were in the hive?
19. A team's opening batter named Nero
Squared his number of hits, the big hero!
After subtracting his score
He took off ten and two more
And the final result was a "zero".
How many hits did Nero make:
20. Some freshman from Trinity Hall
Played hockey with a wonderful ball;
Two times its weight
Plus weight squared, minus eight,
Gave "nothing" in ounces at all.
What was the weight of the ball?
21. The Bar Z ranch was a dude ranch. One day a new "dude" asked one of
the stable hands how many men were tending the horses in the corral.
Having a mischievous sense of humor, he replied, "I saw eighty-two feet
and twenty-six heads". He then walked away, leaving the dude scratching
his head trying to figure it out. How many men were tending the horses?
22. One morning as Paul was getting his newspaper, he noticed on his
new house something that needed to be fixed. Heading over to the
hardware store, he spoke to the manager, describing his problem. The
manager said, "I know just what you need". He led Paul down some aisles
and stopped in front of some bins. Digging down into some of the bins,
he set something up on the shelf. "I saw your house when it was built",
the manager said. "Here's all that you'll need and how much it'll
cost... five will be 15 cents while fifty will be 30 cents, 250 will be
45 cents, while 2507 will only cost you 60 cents. One lady, about 20
blocks from your house, bought 30247 and only paid 75 cents! These are
black, but they also come in gold and silver." What was the manager
selling?
23. If it takes 3 people to dig a hole, how many does it take to dig
half a hole?
24. What is the beginning of eternity. The end of time and space. The
beginning of every end. And the end of every place?
.
.
.
.
.
.
The Answers
1. Incorrectly.
2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between
two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.
3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Duh.
4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the north pole,
and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.
5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you
follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed
before addition. So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer
is three.
6. Sloppy is a goldfish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked
his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.
7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of
dirt. (And those of you who said 36 cubic feet are wrong for another
reason, too. You would have needed the length measurement too. So you
don't even know how much air is in the hole.)
8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F
water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water
in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again. The question said
nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no
water (or ice) to slow the ball down...
9. The time and month/date/year are 12:34, 5/6/78.
10. An umbrella.
11. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big
stack.
12. The temperature.
13. The years are in B.C., not A.D. as you probably assumed. Based on
the system we use to number the years, the years counted down in B.C.
(but they weren't counting backwards back then).
14. A bed.
15. None. Moses didn't take animals on the ark. Noah did.
16. This year. He is 100, and his son is 50.
17. Gwen had forty-two boyfriends. 42-1=41. 41+3=44. 44/4=11. 11-1=10.
18. Five Thousand. Ten power five = 100,000. Divide that out (it was a
19:1 ratio) and you get a ratio of 95,000:5,000 (daughters:sons).
19. Four. If you square it, you get 16. Subtract his number of hits and
you get 12. Subtract 10 and then 2 more and you get 0.
20. Two ounces. (Beach ball, or ping-pong ball?) 2x2=4. 4+2^2=8. 8-8=0.
21. Eleven men (and 15 horses). 11 (men) x 2 (feet per man)=22, 15
(horses) x 4 (feet per horse)=60, and 22 (men's feet) + 60 (horse's
feet) = 82 feet. Also, 11 (men) + 15 (horses) = 26 (total heads).
22. House numbers. Each digit costs 15 cents.
23. It's impossible to dig a half of a hole. Either you have a hole, or
you don't.
24. The letter E.
What is your score?
---
...Don't ask! LOL! Thanks Karen!
-<>-
.-' '-.
.' _ _ '.
/ .-' '-. \
/ / _ _ \ \
| / / ) ( \ \ |
| \ / /___ ___\ \ / |
\ '------' ____) (____ '------' /
\ _____) (____ /
jgs\ ____) (____ /
`'---------.____) (____.---------'`
>A Tree Hugger
A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat,
And an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She
Wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started
To climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted
Owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and
Got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to
A local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist,
A democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the
Splinters.
The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her
To go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the
Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of
Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a
"recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility. However,
I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care, they turned you down."
-<>-
_,....._
(___ `'-.__
(____
(____
(____ ___
`) .-'`
/ .'
jgs | =|
\_\
>The Good Doctor!
Remember when Nancy Pelosi said:
"We have to pass it, to find out what's in it."
A physician called into radio show and said:
"That's the definition of a stool sample."
That pretty well sums it up.
---
...LOL! Yeppers! Thanks Karen!
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Honoring Nature
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/honornature.html
Harvest Moonbow!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moonbow.html
Beautiful Bridges 2!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bridges2.html
Fire Rainbow Cloud!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firerainbow.html
Real Fantasy Trees 2!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trees2.html
Extreme Dog Grooming!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doggrooming.html
Rainbow Eucalyptus Tree!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rainbowtree.html
Lighthouses Of The World!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lighthouses.html
Holland Parade Of Flowers!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerparade.html
Northern Lights Over Teepees!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teepees.html
Fall And Halloween Index Page!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/halloweenindex.html
Germany's Chrysanthemum Festival!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/germanyfestival.html
Colorful Birds 3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birds3.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Geniann :)
She sent us one we have here...
All Occasion cakes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aocakes.html
PANDAS AT PLAY
http://tinyurl.com/n26q9k4
---
...Good Ones! Thanks Geniann!
Every time I pay my taxes, I think about how it's being spent. I
sure don't like having my hard earned money going to support this.
http://www.wnd.com/2015/04/obama-demands-welcoming-for-illegals/
---
...Thanks Geniann!
Yes, unfortunately most of these kids that crossed our borders
never showed up for deportation so they are here to stay and it is
our tax dollars that must help them integrate into the US society
with food, shelter, clothing, health aide and education. It is sad
that we Ameican's cannot simply invite all the world's poor people
to come here and get free stuff. There is not enough riches in the
entire world to do that - even though for some reason Democrats
think we should. I think they want our economy to collapse trying
to do so. Venezuela is a prime example of socialism politics going
wrong for the people.
http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/10/opinions/ghitis-venezuela-woes/
-<>-
>From Our Friend Melinda :)
She sent us one we have here...
City That Time Forgot
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/city.html
---
...Neat one! Thanks Melinda!
19 Cats Who Are Totally Badass
http://tinyurl.com/pk8ycpe
Email rumor floating around...
http://www.truthorfiction.com/untimely-deaths/
It is safer to travel in groups!
three very brief but delightful ads:
http://www.youtube.com/v/gBnvGS4u3F0?hl=en&fs=1&autoplay=1
http://www.youtube.com/v/mgCIKGIYJ1A?hl=en&fs=1&autoplay=1
http://www.youtube.com/v/LuVPnW0s3Vo?hl=en&fs=1&autoplay=1
Halloween Life Hacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-yrsJJXUGU&feature=em-share_video_user
---
...Love These! Thanks Melinda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Karen :)
Chapel Bells
If this doesn't make you smile nothing will
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5748lK9HpOg&feature=youtu.be
Casey At The Bat Parody
http://tinyurl.com/nafgmpq
---
...LOL! Good ones! Thanks Karen!
A soldiers Pledge
https://www.youtube.com/embed/rKsW6c_CgFY?feature=player_detailpage
---
...Awesome! Thanks Karen!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseA :)
Just when you think it's another lip-syncing video to the most
overplayed song of the year, something hilarious happens. I just love
this dad and his cheeky daughter! You have to see what they do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC0YCvetfKc&feature=player_embedded
You're never too old to find true love! Just ask this 100-year-old
bride who's finally found the love of her life. She's got an incredibly
unique perspective after living through a hundred years of weddings.
You have to see what she did with hers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qIyTVH_ldHY
You have to see what this sea lion at the National Zoo does with a
little girl. It's just like a puppy! But then something happens at :30
seconds in that makes this cute video even cuter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=owkdOWdEMU8
---
...Sweet! Aww, worried that she fell down! Thanks LouiseA!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"A new study found that bacon and freshly baked bread are
Americans' favorite smells. Yeah, this morning instead of
putting on cologne, I just rubbed my neck with a B.L.T."
-Jimmy Fallon
"NASA discovered that Pluto has five moons. We have just one
moon. We're moon-ogamous here on planet earth." -Jimmy Kimmel
"The inside of my car was so hot today that I was steering
with my knees even when I wasn't texting." -Jay Leno
"The White House is telling Americans not to 'read too much'
into Friday's bad jobs report. Or as Americans put it, 'You
had me at 'don't read too much.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"Road kill is now legal to eat in Illinois. It's part of
their new 'Meals Under Wheels' program." -Jay Leno
"A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and
recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also
shows that monkeys are terrible with names." -Conan O'Brien
"A thief broke into a house in Alaska and found $100,000
but only took $20,000. Police are searching for a man
with simple dreams." -Conan O'Brien
"A new study ranked the people in Minneapolis as the smartest
people in the U.S. New York didn't even rank in the top 10.
That is so 'non-good.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"One town in Alaska is called Deadhorse. Another one is
called and I'm not making this up Manley Hot Springs. Which
is also the name of a club here in West Hollywood."
-Craig Ferguson
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
************************************************************************
>TO SUBSCRIBE:
Visit Here
This Weeks regular Shangy emails
OR
For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
************************************************************************