Resolutions for CATS & More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News: HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press... This comes to us thanks to our friend Tony G. who sent us a couple cool links. Most of us have played with sand either on the beach or in our little sand boxes, ____________________ /| ... .....''./| Lester - AMC / .''' . ''''_ . ' / | /.' ' ____ ' /_/ . / /.'.''. /'. . \ /. / ' / / ''''' /.' . ' \__/' / . .'/ / /.' ' . . '.. / / |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| / |___________________|/ but these artists take this to the extreme. They are amazing! Check it out for yourself here on our new picture page... Sand Sculpture Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart.html --- ...Awesome! Thanks Tony G! -<>- This next one comes thanks to our friend Tammy. They finally decided to make a plane for us passengers of today! No more touching elbows or being cramped on this flight! _ ___ (_) _/XXX\ _ /XXXXXX\_ X\__ __ /X XXXX XX\ _ / \__/ \_/__ \ \ _/X\__ /X \ ___ \/ \_ \ \ __ _/ \_/ - ___/ \__/ \ \__ \\__ / \_// _ _ \ \ _ / __ \ / \ \_ _//_\___ __/ // \___/ \ __/_______\________\__\_/________\__/_/____/_____________/_______\ ___ /L|0\ / | \ / \ / | \ / \ / __ | __ \ / __/ \__ \ / /__ | __\ \ /___________________\ / | \ / _|_ \ / ____/___\____ \ ___________[o0o]___________ O O O Paul Tomblin Check out how nice these new planes are... Boing 787 Dreamliner http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/b787.html =========================== >From Our Friend JRWGS :) , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' I added this one to our files in our group here... Cross 7x7 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/files/ --- ...A Sweet one! Thanks JRWGS! ============================== >From Our Friend Becky :) >My eight minutes starts now!!!!! ...I added her picture message here for our group page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/ She continues... . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' 8 angels are sent to you! You must send them to 8 people... In 8 minutes you will Receive something you have long awaited. Have faith! You are blessed, beautiful, happy and loved! Have a good day! --- ...Nice one! Thank You Becky! ============================== >The Links from our friend Tony G. :) SAND ART ______ | O | | ,|._ | | `A _|__ |__|\_\ \ O \ ._|.) \___A _|_ |\ SSt 01 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFloPzc95-s 02 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0xnLvk8xW4 Wow... (speechless) --- ...Especially neat! Thanks Tony G! =================================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Exercise Is Good .@@@@@, The room was full of pregnant women and their @@@@@@@@, partners, and the class was in full swing. aa`@@@@@@ The instructor was teaching the women how to (_ ?@@@@ breathe properly, along with informing the men =' @@@@" how to give the necessary assurances at this \(``` stage of the plan. //`\ / | || The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise \ | || is good for you. Walking is especially / | || beneficial. And, Gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt / |_|\ you to take the time to go walking with your | |_| \ partner.!" \ ((( | `\ | The room really got quiet. |____| | || Finally, a man in the middle of the group | || raised his hand. | || /~)) "Yes?" replied the teacher. jgs /_/YY "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?" ==================================================================== +-------------------- Bizarre Patents ---------------------+ A fart collecting device: It comprises a gas-tight collect- ing tube for insertion into the rectum of the subject. The tube is connected to a gas-tight collecting bag. The end of the tube inserted into the subject is apertured and covered with a gauze filter and a gas permeable bladder. A glove for courting couples who wish to maintain palm-to- palm contact while holding hands. It has a common palm section, but two separate sets of fingers. A chair for coition: Provides support for two people, one astride the other. In one preferred form, the seat vibrates. An ashtray which warns you to quit smoking. When you pick up the box of matches from the holder, light passes through a hole to a photocell. This activates an audible warning device. A ladder to enable spiders to climb out of a bath. It com- prises a thin flexible latex rubber strip which follows the inner contours of the bath. A suction pad is attached to the top edge of the bath. A car registration plate which indicates the sex of the driver. The inventor says that since the plate makes the driver's sex immediately apparent, other road users will change the way they behave. They will become more polite, and predict better the behavior of other drivers. =========================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ._ .-' `-. .-' \ ; .-'\ ; `._.' ; | | | ; : ; : ; : / / ; : , ; | .-"7| .-'" : .-' .' : .-' \ .' .' `. .' `-. ""-.-'`"" `",`-._..--"7 ; . `-.J `-, ;"`.;|,_, ; _.' | `"" `. ."""--. o \:.-. _.' ."" : ,--`; , `--/}o,' ; ; .___.' / ,--.`-. `-..7_.- /_ \ : `..__.._; .'__; `---..__.-'-.`"-, .' `--. | \_; \' `-._.-") \\ `-, `. -.`_): `. `-"""`. ;__.' ;/ ; " `-.__7" `-..._.'`7 -._;' ``"-'' `--.,__.' fsc New Years Resolutions for CATS It’s a new year and like my human counterpart, I’ve made some resolutions. (May I be forced to roll around in catnip all day long if I stray one iota!) 1. I will remember that some of my humans possessions are NOT toys. (Oops! Caught me!) 2. I will pay attention to my owner at all times, not just before a meal. 3. I will eat whenever I am hungry, heartily and without guilt, until I am full. When finished, I will lick my chops grandly to indicate that indeed that was the finest meal I have ever tasted. 4. I will play with passion. I will rip my toys into shreds whenever possible. I will lose many of them under the sofa. I will also spend many hours and gain much enjoyment from the boxes they come in. 5. I will (almost) always use the litter box and not the house plants. 6. I will only scratch designated scratching posts. 7. I will avoid territorial disputes with other cats. (whenever possible) 8. I will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep. 9. I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry , or else one of these days, it will really come true. 10. I will remember computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail. 11. I will only reguritate food and furballs on a tiled surface. 12. I will sleep as much as possible each and every day. The importance of this cannot be overestimated. 13. I will not wake before dawn to play games that require my humans participation, and then incessantly request their presense. 14. I will forget all the above and just BE MYSELF! 15. Lastly, I vow never again to waste precious nap time making New Years resolutions. This delusional practice is better left to humans. We cats have 9 lives to live, thank you very much! ========================================================================= >-->From The MouthPiece: Late Show Top Ten .. * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ .$$$$. * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. .$$$$$ * * * * * * * * * * ::::::::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::' * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$F * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$d$$$$$$$" ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::; $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::; ^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" ^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::" ""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$L ;; ;::::::::::::::::;; ;;:::. $$$$$$" "" $$$$$; Donna Shepherd ^$$" $$$$ "" >Top Ten Signs Your Presidential Campaign is in Trouble 10. When asked what you'd do about Iraq you say, "Do I rock?" 9. You're often described as "John Kerry without charisma" 8. Many of your supporters have been hospitalized because you ordered your campaign buttons from China 7. You've been running negative ads about yourself 6. Only Endorsement you've received was from "Burrito Afficionado" magazine 5. When reporting caucus results media refers to you as "Other" 4. "Meet the Press" appearance turns ugly when you put Tim Russert in a headlock 3. Budget director blew most of your campaign funds betting on the Knicks 2. You've primarily been campaigning in Canada 1. You often ask, "What would George W. Bush do?" ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) I usually don't pass along these 'add your name' lists that appear on my e-mails, but THIS ONE is TOO Important. This one has been circulating for Months and Months... PLEASE DO NOT DELETE! If you don't want to sign, at least keep it going! To show your support for Hillary and encourage her on her run for President of the United States in 2008, Please add your name to the rapidly growing list below and send it on to your entire e-mail list... ,__ _, \~\| ~~---___ , | \ | Wash.| | ~~~~~~~|~~~~~| ~~---, _ VT_/,ME> /~-_--__| | Montana |N Dak\ Minn/ ~\~_/Mich. /~| ||,' |Oregon | \ |------| { WI / /~) __-NY',|_\,NH / |Ida.|~~~~~~~~|S Dak.\ \ | | '~\ |_____,|~,-'Mass. |~~--__ | | Wyoming|____ |~~~~~|--| |__ /_-'Penn.{,~Conn (RI) | | ~~~|~~| | ~~\ Iowa/ `-' |`~ |~_____{/NJ | | Nev | '---------, Nebr.\----| |IN|OH,' ~/~\,|`MD (DE) ', \ |Utah| Colo. |~~~~~~~| \IL| ,'~~\WV/ VA | |Cal\ | | | Kansas| MO \_-~ KY /`~___--\ ', \ ,-----|-------+-------'_____/__----~~/N Car./ '_ '\| | |~~~|Okla.| | Tenn._/-,~~-,/ \ |Ariz.| New | |_ |Ark./~~|~~\ \,/S Car. ~~~-' | Mex. | `~~~\___|MS |AL | GA / '-,_ | _____| | / | ,-'---~\ `~'~ \ Texas |LA`--,~~~~-~~,FL\ \/~\ /~~~`---` | \ \ / \ | -jorn \ | '\' `~' 1. Bill 2. Chelsea 3. Thank you for your support. --- ...LOL - WOW - EXACTLY How I feel about it! Thanks John-Paul! ============================================================= >-->In The WorldlyNews: >From GrassFire: The Iowa Caucus has officially launched the 2008 presidential race. While some candidates gained momentum, nothing has been decided. In fact, one could argue that the race is even more unsettled than it was a few weeks ago. That is why we are asking that every Grassfire.org team member complete this brief, five-minute straw poll. We have added some questions regarding your opinion on the candidates' positions on immigration, so even if you completed a prior Grassfire Straw Poll, please do so again. You can go here and thanks for taking part: http://www.grassfire.org/94/survey.asp Steve Elliott, President Grassfire.org -<>- >From Lifescript: 5 Most Exciting News Stories of 2007 Scientists are no snobs. A breakthrough is a breakthrough – from gum habits to stem cells. Researchers will comb through data about almost anything to discover what makes us tick. Below are five of science’s most surprising, miraculous finds in 2007… Read more here http://www.lifescript.com/HA/29178_4238409_6104_0.htm --- ...I liked the gum one and the stem cells _ |_| | |_/ _ _ (_) _ | | | (` \) . | \ (` (` |) (_ (_) ,-.(_) | o o o / | `-' _ (_) * .|, * O -x- '|` \ \ |// | * ( %%%)%%%/%%% % -+- O _ %\%%%%%%%%(%%%%%/ | %%%%%%%%%%)%%%)%(%%\ _ %%/ __^_ _^__ \%%% (_) _|_ ) |"\=(((@))=((@)))=/"|% | ( %\_( ,`--'(_)`--'. )_/ % \ ) /%%( /______I______\ )% ) ) , _/%%%%\\\_|_|_|_|_|_///%%% ,----.-._ ( / %% %%\ `|_|_|_|_|' /%\%%\ / __ `.``. \( -%% %%%%`---.___,---'%%%% ) / / _`.__))))____` ( %% % %% \ ( @)__,._ :%## % % \ .' )`-----.%## / `' ,' Stef Top 10 Reasons Why Smoking Stinks Smoking used to be so in vogue that tobacco companies branded their products with hip characters like “Joe Cool” Camel and the Marlboro Man, who rides off into a cloud of cigarette smoke at sunset. But smoking isn’t cool anymore. Both cigarette manufacturers and smokers have had to answer to the mounting evidence that proves smoking kills. But just in case death isn’t enough to scare you into dumping this addiction, here are the top 10 reasons you should quit smoking – today. Plus: Are you ready to quit? Take our quiz... Read More here: http://www.lifescript.com/HA/28173_4238409_5848_0.htm --- ...So true! I'm going to do up a page on this. -<>- >From BizarreNews: - FDA considers approving cloned foods ----------- WASHINGTON - The U.S. Food and Drug Administration was expected to deem meat and diary from cloned animals safe for human consumption. The FDA examined the issue for six years and asked producers of cloned livestock to not deliver foodstuffs to markets until their official ruling on the food's safety, the Wall Street Journal said Friday. It's expected to take at least three years for meat and diary products from cloned offspring to reach store shelves but the pending decision would be a landmark decision for biotech companies as cloned cattle, for example, fetch at least $15,000 for copies of prized bovines. Food retailers expressed concern over a failure of effective government oversight of cloned livestock, saying, "consumers will lose the ability to choose clone-free products." Some consumers view clone-derived foodstuffs with disdain, calling the foods "Frankenfood" but Jeffery Barach with the Grocery Manufacturers Association said consumers will welcome the quality products as they become more educated. Australia, Canada, France, Japan and New Zealand permit the use of livestock clones but their foods rarely enter the consumer market. The European Union bans the importation of U.S. meat amid concerns over the use of hormones and U.S. food companies face obstacles in European markets that are unlikely to respond favorably to consuming cloned products. - Hotel's weirdest lost item: 4-year-old boy ------- EDINBURGH, Scotland - A Scottish hotel said the strangest item left behind by guests in 2007 was a 4-year-old boy who was accidentally left by his parents. The boy was left at the Travelodge in Edinburgh amid chaos caused by his parents' rush to attend a family party, the (Glasgow) Daily Record reported. The parents quickly realized their mistake and returned to find the boy playing with toys in the hotel room. "The couple were very flustered. They had lots of luggage to pack in their car and they were already late for a family party," a source at the hotel told the Daily Record. "It was a bit chaotic and they left the boy." "They did collect him quickly but he is still counted as the strangest item of lost property we've had," the source said. Other Travelodge locations also reported their most bizarre lost items of 2007. One Scottish location reported a suitcase full of wigs and glasses was left behind by a guest while other European locations reported an urn of ashes and a living Persian cat, the Daily Record reported. -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: ,--. ,--. ( O ) ( O ) `--' \ `--' \ _ Chelsea Clinton a rebel -- vegetarian >-. / /| `-.__.' Krogg Chelsea Clinton, whose father was once the U.S. president and whose mother is seeking the same office, rebelled in her youth by becoming a vegetarian. While traveling with her mother, U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., on the campaign trail, the youngest Clinton told one potential supporter who happened to be a vegan her unusual story of rebellion, The New York Post said Sunday. "My mother is asking these questions partly because I got home when I was 11 and just declared I was no longer eating meat," the 27-year-old said during the recent visit to New Hampshire. Chelsea Clinton has become an integral part of her mother's bid for the Democratic presidential nomination, focusing on drawing in younger supporters for her mom's campaign. The Post said at one recent function, the young Clinton even used a bit of the charm typically associated with former President Bill Clinton. Talking with a young male college student, Chelsea asked him for his support and then flashed him a wink, apparently for emphasis. __ __ /_ _^^_ _\ _____|________|______ `=====.'""""""'.=====` / /a /a \ .-. | /\ | <" ) \ / / \ .`\, _'. \/\/\/ .'_ \ \_\ ./,' '-.\\'-------' \`------'/ '--""---'//.-' ###'.-'/________ \/""""\/ ________\'-.'### '/` \ : / `\` | | \ : | | \ \_____:_____ / [I=I=[_]I=I] / | \ / |_ \ / /\ \ / /##\ \ | ,/ ## \, | \ \ ## / / \ \ ## / / \ \##/ / jgs \ /\/\ / __,\_/X##X\_/.__ '.'/|\\XX//|\'.` '/'|.\##/,|`\' ## ## ## \ ## / / \ , \ \\##// , / /, /. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ New York not getting safer for birds New York officials are cracking down on poachers trapping pigeons for sale to out-of-state bird hunters and possibly even restaurants. Bird lovers say the bird-nappers drive through the city in the early morning, tempting birds with seed and then trapping them in large nets, The New York Post reported. The birds are then sold for $5 or $10. Animal advocates gained the ear of City Councilman Tony Avella, who passed their complaint along to the city, the Post said. In response, Health Department Commissioner Thomas Frieden said he is starting a coordinated effort with other city and state agencies to combat the practice. Concerned citizens who witness pigeon harvesting can inform authorities by calling the city's 3-1-1 citizen access hotline. ============================================================= >-->From The Jokester: ,N. _/__ \ If you eliminate all other possibilities -/o\_\ the one that remains, however unlikely, __\_-./ is the right answer. / / V \`U-. ()) /, > o < \ Elementary my dear Watson. <\.,.-._.-" [-\ o /__..-' |/_ ) ) _.-"| \o/ | \ o!0 OR MRS WATSON... `'-'-" Things Men Wish Their Better Half Knew 1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you’re wrong. 2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes. 3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated. 4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you’re not in the car. 5. If you’re truly interested in us, don’t play hard to get. 6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity. 7. When I mess up, go ahead and tell me–once. 8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I’m inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter. 9. I’m hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker. 10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job. 11. Don’t be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier. 12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain’t pretty. 13. You can make love with us any time you want. Seriously. 14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you’re nice about it. Bark, and we shut down. 15. I don’t ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere. 17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. 18. But you can make love with us any time you want. Did we mention that? 20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty darn fine, too. 22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence. 24. If I offer my help while you’re getting ready, it means you’re late. 25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably getit wrong and make us even more late. 26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. 29. When you call us at work “just to chat,” we’re not really listening; we’re checking our e-mail. 30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn’t need to be a mini-skirt; it’s been a long winter. 32. We don’t mind being told we look good. Just don’t call it a “cute outfit.” 37. Make us laugh and we’ll want to hang around. 38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, no big deal. 39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman’s problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant turn on. 40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason. 42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks. 43. Anytime you cook for us, we’re happy. 44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love. 45. No, I don’t remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I’m a guy, not a tape recorder. 46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while. 47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too. 48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, “Do you think she’s pretty?” 49. Don’t rely on us for keeping you up on the news. 50. Never say, “I know you better than you know yourself.” Nobody does. -<>- >Women's Dictionary Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers." Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it. Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card! -<>- >Dog Quotes :\ ;\\ ; ;; __ :/ :-",dP _.ggp. : (*).-"" :$$$$; ; T$$$; : _,- `TP ; `. _ ; ; "" \ / ; `-+' : .-' ; \; ; : `--+'-. .---. ; ;` :_ `. : ; "-, ; / "-. : ; : .p""-. ""--..: ; : .-T$$P ""--..___l-, ; : .-" "" :\()l ; ; _________.-" $$ ;`-' ; ; bug .--""$$$$$$$P : ; '._____.-"_. 'T$$P^' : : .-" \ : '.___...-" ; : / ; ; : . / / / ; .J__ : / .' ; .; "-. ; j.-" : .'/ "-. ; : : ; .' / "---: ; ; "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene Hill "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." -- Aldous Huxley "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz "Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan "Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." --Ben Williams "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- EdwardAbbey "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings "Man is a dog's idea of what G~d should be." -- Holbrook Jackson "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -- Andrew A.Rooney "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." -- Smiley Blanton "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." -- John Steinbeck "I used to be scared of dogs. Then I realized that dogs are just as scared of me as I am of them; they just show it differently. They show it by barking and snapping at me, and I show it by soiling myself." -- Dakota Shepard "Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." -- Anonymous "In dog years, I'm dead." -- Anonymous "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry "I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl." -- Penny Ward Moser "The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage." -- Danish Proverb "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber "He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." -- Anonymous "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings "Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." -- Mark Twain "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln "My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives." -- Rita Rudner "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." -- Anonymous ====================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _ ___ _.--. \`.|\..----...-'` `-._.-'_.-'` / ' ` , __.--' )/' _/ \ `-_, / `-'" `"\_ ,_.-;_.-\_ ', fsc/as _.-'_./ {_.' ; / {_.-``-' {_/ One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department. "We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When I persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough." How do you know that?" I asked. "Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said. Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast. -<>- During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "Oh, no," the man said, "He doesn't need one; I always do the driving." -<>- A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car. "If we decided to live there permanently, away from civil- ization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife. She replied, "You." -<>- It is Christmas eve. A burglar breaks into the home of a prominent local lawyer. He takes the lawyer's Christmas gifts from under the tree leaving the packages for the wife and children alone. As he is leaving the house, he is apprehended by a policeman. He confesses to what he has done but tells the policeman that he can't be arrested. The policeman asks why, and he responds, "Because the law states that I'm entitled to the presents of an attorney." ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Maxy's Pal :) HERE IS MY ANNUAL NEW YEAR'S WISH TO ONE AND ALL. WE NEED TO TOAST THE ENTRANCE OF THE NEW YEAR=== 2008. ONE BIG SMILE NOW!!!!!! FOR HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND PEACE. GOOD LUCK WITH THE TURKEY. :+) JTW. THIS IS NOT DOROTHY B"S RECIPE 20 Easy Steps For The Perfect Thanksgiving Turkey ,+*^^*+___+++_ ,*^^^^ ) _+* ^**+_ +^ _ _++*+_+++_, ) _+^^*+_ ( ,+*^ ^ \+_ ) { ) ( ,( ,_+--+--, ^) ^\ { (@) } f ,( ,+-^ __*_*_ ^^\_ ^\ ) {:;-/ (_+*-+^^^^^+*+*<_ _++_)_ ) ) / ( / ( ( ,___ ^*+_+* ) < < \ U _/ ) *--< ) ^\-----++__) ) ) ) ( ) _(^)^^)) ) )\^^^^^))^*+/ / / ( / (_))_^)) ) ) ))^^^^^))^^^)__/ +^^ ( ,/ (^))^)) ) ) ))^^^^^^^))^^) _) *+__+* (_))^) ) ) ))^^^^^^))^^^^^)____*^ \ \_)^)_)) ))^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^) (_ ^\__^^^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^^^^) ^\___ ^\__^^^^^^))^^^^^^^^)\\ ^^^^^\uuu/^^\uuu/^^^^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\ Keely ___) >____) >___ ^\_\_\_\_\_\_\) ^^^//\\_^^//\\_^ ^(\_\_\_\) ^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^ Step 1: Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) OR JD Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink Step 7: Turn oven the on Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky Step 9: Turk the bastey Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick Step 17: Turk the carvey Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out --- ...TeeHee! -<>- >FWD: This Pastor has guts! I WOULD LIKE TD SEND THIS WONDERFUL E-MAIL TO EACH OF YOU INDIVIDUALLY BUT AS SOME OF YOU KNOW, MY KEYBOARD IS NOT FEELING UP PAR. I DWANT YOU TO HAVE IT.....CAN'T CUT /PASTE EITHER. SO, GOD BLESS THE PASTOR WHO WROTE IT & BLESS YOU FOR READING IT. HOPE YOU ALL CAN PULL IT UP. JTW --- ...I love it and checked this out - following is the true version of 'This Pastor has guts!' according to the snopes.com article >This Pastor has guts! It seems prayer still upsets some people. Please read.... ____ ____ / + \ || || /+ . \ |o x.| =**= _ =**= | o x| |____| || _( )_ || |____| || /_____\ || ______________//| |/__________________ _______^________/ | + | /____^_____ _U_ / |___| // _U_ | /_______________________________________// | /|\ |______________________________________|/ /|\ =========================) . . (==========================) |/| . . | | | | . . | | _________________________|/|. . ||------------------------|| =====================) || . . (==========================| When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard; "Heavenly Father, we come before you to ask your forgiveness. We seek your direction and your guidance. We know your word says, "Woe to those who call evil good." But that's what we've done. We've lost our spiritual equilibrium. We have inverted our values. We have ridiculed the absolute truth of your word in the name of moral pluralism. We have worshiped other gods and called it multiculturalism. We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle. We've exploited the poor and called it a lottery. We've neglected the needy and called it self-preservation. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. In the name of choice, we have killed our unborn. In the name of right to life, we have killed abortionists. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem. We have abused power and called it political savvy. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it taxes. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, oh, God, and know our hearts today. Try us. Show us any wickedness within us. Cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of the State of Kansas, and that they have been ordained by you to govern this great state. Grant them your wisdom to rule. May their decisions direct us to the center of your will. And, as we continue our prayer and as we come in out of the fog, give us clear minds to accomplish our goals as we begin this Legislature. For we pray in Jesus' name, Amen." --- Snopes Says: The prayer Rev. Wright used wasn't of his own crafting; it was a version of one written in 1995 by Bob Russell who offered it at the Kentucky Governor’s Prayer Breakfast in Frankfort, Kentucky. Read the rest here: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/wright.asp !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked Out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 Of those calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India , Africa and Korea. Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio Program, "The Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our Nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one nation under God." If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything." Think about this: If you forward this prayer to everyone On your email list, in less than 30 days it would be heard by The world. !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ How many people in your address book will not receive This prayer.....do you have the guts to pass it on? I just did! --- ...Wonderful! Thank You Maxy's Pal! ===================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit: Defeating Drug Abuse http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/defeatingdruguse.html OVEREATING - A Man Given To Appetite http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/overeating.html Words Of Edification http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/edification.html Just The Right Second http://m3.youneed2see.com/piles/?s=rightsecond Rabbit Grab It http://andrius.esu.lt/10/go2.htm Picture Purfect http://www.4-14.org.uk/wp-content/images/orig_Old_hands_on_Bible.jpg -<>- >From Our Friend Maxy's Pal :) The top 10 wines of 2007 - Vine Views with Edward Deitch -MSNBC.com http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/22348726/ -<>- >From TheMouth: WRITERS & ARTISTS SNACKING AT WORK This site is devoted to finding you the very best in snacking satisfaction. Over two hundred reviews include each snack's ingredients, price, packaging, and funny comments such as how the product could be improved. "http://snacks.cyberpunks.org/snacks.html JEWELRY MAKING HEADQUARTERS If you've ever wanted to make your own jewelry, be sure to check out this handy website. You'll find plenty of tips and tricks for making jewelry, ideas for what to make, how to start a jewelry making business and more. http://www.jewelrymakinghq.com/ -<>- >From Linky & Dinky: SURE, I CAN TYPE GOBELTeeGOOK REAL FAST, I just can't type anybody else's gobletiguuk very fast. http://www.keybr.com/ COMEDY RETIREMENT EULOGY for BILL GATES What's really funny is to see how some VERY famous people just can't act. http://tinyurl.com/35naec -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Carolyn with/Wooden Heart http://carolynspreciousmemories.com./elvis/woodenheart.html Happy Birthday Elvis http://www.elvispresleynews.com/ Elvis.com The Official Site http://www.elvis.com/ CALVARY'S HILL http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/CALVARYSHILL.HTML Bad Hair Cut http://buffalosjokes.com/080303.htm Airport http://buffalosjokes.com/080304.htm Don't Judge Too Quickly http://buffalosjokes.com/080305.htm Can't Catch http://buffalosjokes.com/080312.htm Ball In Pocket http://buffalosjokes.com/080313.htm Big Cat http://buffalosjokes.com/080314.htm Billiard Tricks http://buffalosjokes.com/080315.htm Broken door Handle http://buffalosjokes.com/080316.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =================================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Last week I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. So She locked me in the cellar." —Rodney Dangerfield "I don’t look to jump over 7-foot bars. I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over. —Warren Buffett "Let's get right to it. A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim, walk into a bar. The Jew says to the Muslim... See, I have no idea what they say because there's a writers' strike." - Jay Leno "It's been a long time. As you all know, two months ago, the Writers Guild of America went on strike, and it's been a very tough time, not only for our show, but for a lot of people in the entertainment industry. And possibly worse — America has been forced to read books and occasionally even speak to one another." - Conan O'Brien "I grew up in an environment of strikes. Britain in 1970s, everyone on strike. Coal miners, postal workers, the dentists. I'll never forget the British dental strike of 1979. It's still going... they never resolved it." - Craig Ferguson "Congratulations to Barack Obama, the big winner in the Iowa caucus. He got 57 percent of the youth vote and 100 percent of Iowa's black vote... a guy named Larry." - Jay Leno "I was home last night, moisturising my chest, watching TV, and they announce the big winners in Iowa are Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee. They cut live to Mike Huckabee's headquarters where he's giving his victory speech, and next to him — it's Chuck Norris! Now, we have been doing The Walker Texas Ranger Lever, where I show old clips from his show. We did it for four years, and it put Chuck Norris back on the map. Now Chuck Norris has reenergized Mike Huckabee... ergo, I made Mike Huckabee the winner of the Iowa caucus." - Conan O'Brien "There's a huge meteor shower tonight! Scientists say it's the biggest display of falling stars since 'Celebrity Apprentice'." - Craig Ferguson ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOOUSE :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************