Sailor Terminology And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ , , `. | `. ` `. \___ \ ,---._ ,' -`./ ,-" "-/ / o `._ `. | o ,-. _ ` `. , , `-' ,' ` `-----"| '`----" | \ / | \ " `. /_ `._ _/| \ ( ". ' \ \ `.`. . |` \" |\ | `. `.,' . | `. \ | | ,` | | | `-`-" , ` , `. _,' `.--" | | || | .-. | |, `,' ) ___,' \ , / /------" \____," KaK *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. 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THANK YOU! -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press This super flaming hot new page is from our friend Linda. If you are like me, you always stand in awe whenever you see one and think God is especially giving you a message of love and hope that all will be OK. Be sure to check this gorgeous one out here... ________ .##@@&&&@@##. ,##@&::%&&%%::&@##. #@&:%%000000000%%:&@# #@&:%00' '00%:&@# #@&:%0' '0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# "" ' " " ' "" Beautiful Rainbows http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rainbows.html --- ...Absolutely lovely! Thanks Linda! -<>- *~* We Had An Awesome Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month :) ,--. _/ <`-' ,-.' \--\_ ((`-.__\ ) \`' @ (_ ( (_) ,'`-._(`-._/ ,-' )&&) )) ,-' /&&&%-' ,' __ ,- {&&&&/ / ,' \| |\&&'\ ( | |' \ `--. (%--'\ ,--.\ `-.`-._))) `---'`-/__)))`-._))) hjw >Please Be Sure To Share These With Your Friends And Family: Five Debt Tips! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/debttips.html Adorable Baby Elephant! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyelephant.html God's Water Paintings 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/water3.html Inspiring Seniors 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/inspiringseniors2.html Undersea Bowling Alley! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bowling.html When It Rains! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whenitrains.html Cheetah Encounter! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cheetahs.html Underwater Creatures! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/underwater3.html Nature's Teardrops! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teardrops.html Beautiful Rainbows! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rainbows.html -=[ Prayer to Computer Angel ]=- _____________ |.-----------.| A Prayer to my || _ || COMPUTER ANGEL: || (\o/) || || /_\ || Guide my keystrokes, ||___________|| Keep my programs alive, `-)-------(-' Protect me from viruses, [=== -- o ]--. Back up my drive. __'---------'__ \ [::::::::::: :::] ) Amen. `""'"""""'""""`/T\ jgs \_/ ~*~ May God Super Bless All Our Sweet Contributors! :) ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: (*) (*) (__) ^ ^ (__) (oo) | | | @(oo)@ [..] | = | [..]@@ \ | U (-) | | | | (-) U @@@@ || ==<_\=====/_|______=_____|=|____________=__|____\====/_>== || || ) |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ( || ||___)==||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||==(___|| |\====| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |====/| | \ | | | | / | = * = = = = * = candlelight dinner cfbd Botanist Roy Noble had always dreamed of ending world hunger. After years of research, his hard work paid off. He developed a strain of peas that would grow virtually anywhere. It grew fast, kept long without spoiling, and was more nutritious than even soybeans. He was an instant hero, world wide. There were awards and parades, and naturally the new strain of peas was named Noble. After enjoying the fame and fortune for a while, Roy decided he wanted to do more, so he established a fund to award a monetary prize each year to botanists and horticulturists who were making significant contributions to their fields. Thus was born the famous Noble Peas Prize. -<>- >Defining Occupations As They Actually Are Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain) Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant. Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief". Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. Schoolteacher - Is some one who likes children. A royal baby sitter. Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go somewhere you don't like in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ September 3 is Skyscraper Day September 4 is Newspaper Carrier Day September 5 is Be Late for Something Day and Cheese Pizza Day September 6 is Fight Procrastination Day and Read a Book Day September 7 is National Salami Day and Neither Rain nor Snow Day September 8 is Grandparent's Day, International Literacy Day, National Date Nut Bread Day, National Pet Memorial Day and Pardon Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: /"\ /"\|\./|/"\ |\./| |\./| | | | | | |>~<| |/"\ |>~<| |>~<|\./| | | | | | /~T\| | =[@]= | |_/ | | | | | | | ~ ~ ~ | | |~< | ~ | | ' | \ | \ / \ / \. / | | | | >Nail Biting Habit Two older women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Freddie would stop biting his nails. That makes me terribly nervous," the first one said. "Oh, my Elmer used to do the same thing," the other woman commented. "But I broke him of that habit real quick." "What did you do?" "I hid his teeth." -<>- >Math Problem Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, one boy raised his hand. The teacher called on him for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, he answered, "A lawyer!" -<>- >The Supportive Younger Brother Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self-pitying. She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you." -<>- >Phobias I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly. -<>- >Panty Hose A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "QUEEN SIZE." He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look Granny, you wear the same size as our bed!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .---------. _ |:: [-=-] | | | |_________| |~| |_| ,;;;;, I\ ,__ ,;;;, __, ///\\\\\ I |{ / . . \ } / " \\|| I | ) ( _ ) ( \_= _/// I |{___'-. .-'___}\___ )_\ I ||~/,'~~~~~,\~~|'---(( \ I \ // \\ | \ \ \ I \/ // | | /-/ I (/ (/ | |/||\ I | | | | I | | |____/ I :-----_o_-----: || | I | /~~|===|~~\ | (( | jgs I || |===| || ||_/ /^\ "~ '^^^' "" ((__| >SMILES Mark had an operation and was coming out of the ether. He looked at the two other patients in nearby beds and said, "Thank God that's over!" "Don't be too sure," said Benson in the next bed, "they left a sponge in me and had to cut me open again." Rankin in a bed on the other side of Mark added, "They had to open me up too, just to recover one of their Instruments." Just then the doctor stuck his head in the door and called, "Anyone seen my cell phone?" Mark fainted. ---------- A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk. "Well ... they feel a bit tight." replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk. "Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth," he says. ---------- A tourist climbed out of his car in Washington, DC , He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a United States Senator?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But it's all right. I'll trust you anyway. ---------- Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple. Among other duties, I had to dust their many imported carvings and petrified collectibles as well as pick up after their pets. One day I was astonished to find two ivory fossils lying on the floor beside the bookcase. I quickly picked them up and put them back on the shelf. The next week the same thing happened. That afternoon my employer came into the parlor, her faithful canine behind her. Looking around, she eyed the bookcase. "Tippy," she asked the dog, "how do your bones keep getting up there?" ---------- There were two guys on a motorcycle driving down the road. The driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper or any buttons. Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy,"I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest." After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. So they were driving down the road and they came around this curb and wrecked. The farmer that lived there called the police and told them what happened. The police asked him, "are either of them showing any life signs?" The farmer then said, "well, that first one was 'til I turned his head around the right way." ------- A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee." -------- A friend of ours was puzzled by the odd messages left on his answering machine. Day after day, friends and family would talk and then say, "Beep." He discovered the reason for the joke when he decided to listen to his greeting. "Hi," it said. "I'm not in right now, so please leave a beep after the message." -------- A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska --a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car. "If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife. She replied, "You." --------- I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals. Forget calling them "Veal Parmigiana" or "Turkey Loaf" or "Beef Pot Pie." If you look in my freezer you'll see "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," and, my favorite, "Food." That way when I ask my husband what he wants for dinner, I'm certain to have what he wants." ---------- Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage. "The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth." "But you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, so how could you sell it." "Simple: If I sell it, my wife would kill me!" ---------- Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ,`/ /L',_ ,\',` \ ` ,V ||/ )\ ,( / \ /, ` \ /' '| / | / | ejm `-. -._ >Sailor Terminology Ahoy! This old traditional greeting for hailing other vessels was originally a Viking battle cry. Between the Devil and the Deep: In wooden ships, the "devil" was the longest seam of the ship. It ran from the bow to the stern. When at sea and the "devil" had to be caulked, the sailor sat in a bo'sun's chair to do so. He was suspended between the "devil" and the sea the "deep" a very precarious position, especially when the ship was underway. Chewing the Fat: "God made the vittles but the devil made the cook," was a popular saying used by seafaring men in the 19th century when salted beef was staple diet aboard ship. This tough cured beef, suitable only for long voyages when nothing else was cheap or would keep as well (remember, there was no refrigeration), required prolonged chewing to make it edible. Men often chewed one chunk for hours, just as it were chewing gum and referred to this practice as "chewing the fat." Crow's Nest: The raven, or crow, was an essential part of the Vikings' navigation equipment. These land-lubbing birds were carried on aboard to help the ship's navigator determine where the closest land lay when weather prevented sighting the shore. In cases of poor visibility, a crow was released and the navigator plotted a course corresponding to the bird's flight path because the crow invariably headed towards land. The Norsemen carried the birds in a cage secured to the top of the mast. Later on, as ships grew and the lookout stood his watch in a tub located high on the main mast, the name "crow's nest" was given to this tub. While today's Navy still uses lookouts in addition to radars, etc., the crow's nest is a thing of the past. Devil to Pay: Today the expression "devil to pay" is used primarily to describe having an unpleasant result from some action that has been taken, as in someone has done something they shouldn't have and, as a result, "there will be the devil to pay." Originally, this expression described one of the unpleasant tasks aboard a wooden ship. The "devil" was the wooden ship's longest seam in the hull. Caulking was done with "pay" or pitch (a kind of tar). The task of "paying the devil" (caulking the longest seam) by squatting in the bilges was despised by every seaman. Eight Bells : Aboard Navy ships, bells are struck to designate the hours of being on watch. Each watch is four hours in length. One bell is struck after the first half-hour has passed, two bells after one hour has passed, three bells after an hour and a half, four bells after two hours, and so forth up to eight bells are struck at the completion of the four hours. Completing a watch with no incidents to report was "Eight bells and all is well." The practice of using bells stems from the days of the sailing ships. Sailors couldn't afford to have their own time pieces and relied on the ship's bells to tell time. The ship's boy kept time by using a half-hour glass. Each time the sand ran out, he would turn the glass over and ring the appropriate number of bells. Fathom: Fathom was originally a land measuring term derived from the Ango- Saxon word "faetm" meaning to embrace. In those days, most measurements were based on average size of parts of the body, such as the hand (horses are still measured this way) or the foot (that's why 12 inches are so named). A fathom is the average distance from fingertip to fingertip of the outstretched arms of a man about six feet. Since a man stretches out his arms to embrace his sweetheart, Britain's Parliament declared that distance be called a "fathom" and it be a unit of measure. A fathom remains six feet. The word was also used to describe taking the measure or "to fathom" something. Today, of course, when one is trying to figure something out, they are trying to "fathom" it. Feeling Blue: If you are sad and describe yourself as "feeling blue," you are using a phrase coined from a custom among many old deepwater sailing ships. If the ship lost the captain or any of the officers during its voyage, she would fly blue flags and have a blue band painted along her entire hull when returning to home port. Forecastle: The appropriate pronunciation for this word is fo'ksul. The forecastle is the forward part of the main deck. It derives its name from the days of Viking galleys when wooden castles were built on the forward and after parts the main deck from which archers and other fighting men could shoot arrows and throw spears, rocks, etc. Galley : The galley is the kitchen of the ship. The best explanation as to its origin is that it is a corruption of "gallery". Ancient sailors cooked their meals on a brick or stone gallery laid amidships. Gun Salutes: Gun salutes were first fired as an act of good faith. In the days when it took so long to reload a gun, it was a proof of friendly intention when the ship's cannon were discharged upon entering port. Head: The "head" aboard a Navy ship is the bathroom. The term comes from the days of sailing ships when the place for the crew to relieve themselves was all the way forward on either side of the bowsprit, the integral part of the hull to which the figurehead was fastened. He Knows the Ropes: In the very early days, this phrase was written on a seaman's discharge to indicate that he was still a novice. All he knew about being a sailor was just the names and uses of the principal ropes (lines). Today, this same phrase means the opposite that the person fully knows and understands the operation (usually of the organization). Holystone: The last Navy ships with teak decks were the battleships, now since decommissioned. Teak, and other wooden decks, were scrubbed with a piece of sandstone, nicknamed at one time by an anonymous witty sailor as the "holystone." It was so named because since its use always brought a man to his knees, it must be holy! Hunky-Dory: The term meaning everything is O.K. was coined from a street named "Honki-Dori" in Yokohama, Japan. Since the inhabitants of this street catered to the pleasures of sailors, it is easy to understand why the street's name became synonymous for anything that is enjoyable or at least satisfactory. And, the logical follow-on is "Okey-dokey." Log Book: In the early days of sailing ships, the ship's records were written on shingles cut from logs. These shingles were hinged and opened like a book. The record was called the "log book." Later on, when paper was readily available and bound into books, the record maintained it name. Mayday: "Mayday" is the internationally recognized voice radio signal for ships and people in serious trouble at sea. Made official in 1948, it is an anglicizing of the French m'aidez, "help me". Pea Coat: Sailors who have to endure pea-soup weather often don their pea coats but the coat's name isn't derived from the weather. The heavy topcoat worn in cold, miserable weather by seafaring men was once tailored from pilot cloth a heavy, course, stout kind of twilled blue cloth with the nap on one side. The cloth was sometimes called P-cloth for the initial letter of "pilot" and the garment made from it was called a p-jacket later, a pea coat. The term has been used since 1723 to denote coats made from that cloth. Port holes: The word "port hole" originated during the reign of Henry VI of England (1485). King Henry insisted on mounting guns too large for his ship and the traditional methods of securing these weapons on the forecastle and aftcastle could not be used. A French shipbuilder named James Baker was commissioned to solve the problem. He put small doors in the side of the ship and mounted the cannon inside the ship. These doors protected the cannon from weather and were opened when the cannon were to be used. The French word for "door" is "porte" which was later Anglicized to "port" and later went on to mean any opening in the ship's side, whether for cannon or not. Scuttlebutt: The origin of the word "scuttlebutt," which is nautical parlance for a rumor, comes from a combination of "scuttle" to make a hole in the ship's hull and thereby causing her to sink - and "butt" a cask or hogshead used in the days of wooden ships to hold drinking water. The cask from which the ship's crew took their drinking water like a water fountain was the "scuttlebutt". Even in today's Navy a drinking fountain is referred to as such. But, since the crew used to congregate around the "scuttlebutt", that is where the rumors about the ship or voyage would begin. Thus, then and now, rumors are talk from the "scuttlebutt" or just "scuttlebutt". S.O.S.: Contrary to popular notion, the letters S.O.S. do not stand for "Save Our Ship" or "Save Our Souls". They were selected to indicate a distress because, in Morse code, these letters and their combination create an unmistakable sound pattern. Splice the Main Brace: A sailing ship's rigging was a favorite target during sea battles since by destroying the opponent's ability to maneuver or get away would put you at obvious advantage. Therefore, the first thing tended to after a battle was to repair broken gear, and repair sheets (lines - not "ropes" - that adjust the angle at which a sail is set in relation to the wind ) and braces (lines passing through blocks and holding up sails). Although no specifics remain, it appears that the main brace was the principal fore-and-aft support of the ship's masts. Splicing this line was the most difficult chores aboard ship, and one on which the ship's safety depended. It was the custom, after the main brace was properly spliced, to serve grog to the entire crew. Thus, today, after a hard day (or, not so hard day), the phrase has become an invitation to have a drink. Starboard: The Vikings called the side of their ship its board, and they placed the steering oar, the "star" on the right side of the ship, thus that side became known as the "star board." It's been that way ever since. And, because the oar was in the right side, the ship was tied to the dock at the left side. This was known as the loading side or "larboard". Later, it was decided that "larboard" and "starboard" were too similar, especially when trying to be heard over the roar of a heavy sea, so the phrase became the "side at which you tied up to in port" or the "port" side. Taken Aback: One of the hazards faced in days of sailing ships has been incorporated into English to describe someone who has been jolted by unpleasant news. We say that person has been "taken aback." The person is at a momentary loss; unable to act or even to speak. A danger faced by sailing ships was for a sudden shift in wind to come up (from a sudden squall), blowing the sails back against the masts, putting the ship in grave danger of having the masts break off and rendering the ship totally helpless. The ship was taken aback. Three Mile Limit: The original three-mile limit was the recognized distance from a nation's shore over which that nation had jurisdiction. This border of international waters or the "high seas" was established because, at the time this international law was established, three miles was the longest range of any nation's most powerful guns, and therefore, the limit from shore batteries at which they could enforce their laws. (International law and the 1988 Territorial Sea Proclamation established the "high seas" border at the 12-mile limit.) Three Sheets to the Wind: We use the term "three sheets to the wind" to describe someone who has too much to drink. As such, they are often bedraggled with perhaps shirttails out, clothes a mess. The reference is to a sailing ship in disarray, that is with sheets (lines not "ropes" that adjust the angle at which a sail is set in relation to the wind ) flapping loosely in the breeze. Took the wind out of his sails: Often we use "took the wind out of his sails" to describe getting the best of an opponent in an argument. Originally it described a battle maneuver of sailing ships. One ship would pass close to its adversary and on its windward side. The ship and sails would block the wind from the second vessel, causing it to lose headway. Losing motion meant losing maneuverability and the ability to carry on a fight. Watches: Traditionally, a 24-hour day is divided into seven watches. These are: midnight to 4 a.m. [0000-0400], the mid-watch; 4 to 8 a.m. [0400-0800], morning watch; 8 a.m. to noon [0800-1200], forenoon watch; noon to 4 p.m. [1200-1600], afternoon watch; 4 to 6 p.m. [1600-1800] first dog watch; 6 to 8 p.m. [1800-2000], second dog watch; and, 8 p.m. to midnight [2000-2400], evening watch. The half hours of the watch are marked by the striking the bell an appropriate number of times. --- ...Love These! Most Interesting! Thanks LouiseAu! Some of these and More can be found here: Word/Phrase Origins! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: ___ ,88O88. 88#88#8 8O88#88 `8#888' """ A meatball.. :-) >Buy meat in bulk When you do buy meat, it's almost always cheaper to buy it in bulk! At a grocery store, look for family size packs which are typically at least 5 lbs. in weight, but are priced less per pound than the smaller packages. If you don't think you'll use it all within a couple of days, package the remaining portion in a freezer bag and save for another meal later! >Pack Your Lunch Sure it might seem easier to grab lunch while out, but brown bagging can save you a lot of cash each week. It's also especially helpful for those who just can't step out of the office or need more willpower to stick with a healthy lunch. >Red Wine Face Pack: A red wine face pack can be made using two tablespoons each; red wine and yogurt and one tablespoon of honey. Mix all the ingredients, apply it on your face and leave it on for 15 minutes. Wash it off with a damp cloth and notice the difference yourself. You can also make a scrub by mixing an red wine with a natural exfoliator like; ground rice, coffee or sugar, etc. Mix a few tablespoons of red wine with your exfoliator and mix it to make a rough paste. >Soften heels with a 'red sangria' soak: The resveratrol in red wine helps repair damaged skin while the polyphenols moisturize parched patches along the heels. Infusing the soak with orange slices (its citric acid exfoliates) renews feet even faster. Fill a basin with warm water and add a couple cups of red wine and 5 or 6 orange slices. We don't recommend using anything too expensive! Soak feet for 10 minutes, then rinse. -<>- .__ .-". (o\"\ | | \_\ | | _.---:_ | ("-..-" / "-.-" / / | "--" AsH >'Go Green' Hints: Fix leaking toilets and faucets. That dripping faucet and running toilet is literally money going down the drain. They also attribute to the waste of a lot of water. The average home's leaks account for more than 10,000 gallons of water wasted every year. If you find a leak, you'll need to call a plumber to assess the situation. >Is it possible to eat 'Green'? Yes! Green eating means choosing a predominantly plant-based diet. Our diets are heavy in animal products and raising animals for food takes a toll on the environment. The Food and Agricultural Organization estimates that 60 percent of the world's agricultural land is used for raising animals. Consuming a plant-forward diet that is rich in vegetables like leafy greens, fruits, whole grains, nuts, legumes, and seeds and lower in animal products is one of the most important ways you can help to reduce carbon emissions, lower our dependence on fossil fuels, and do your part to ensure a healthier planet and food system in the future. You don't have to become a vegetarian. However, it does mean shifting meat from the focus of the meal to a side dish. With today's wide variety of delicious plant-based offerings it's not hard to build a plant-forward menu and re-position meat as a side dish that is eaten once a day, or even once a week. >Many commercially air fresheners contain a cocktail of toxic chemicals that aren't healthy for us or the environment. Some of the chemicals you may find: Formaldehyde, a known carcinogen, Phenol, skin and nervous system irritant, Petroleum distillates such as butane and propane and many other dangerous chemicals. Why not try some healthier and environmentally friendly alternatives you can make and use yourself? - A tablespoon of salt in a half an orange with the flesh scooped out. - Use baking soda to soak up acidic odors. - Use vinegar to neutralize alkaline odors. It might be a little smelly itself to start off with, but the initial odor quickly fades. - Placing citrus fruit or cinnamon in a pot with water and simmer gently for a few minutes will completely invigorate the room. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: President Trump meets with FEMA officials at Camp David to prepare for Hurricane Dorian “President Trump on Saturday met with FEMA officials at Camp David to discuss the response to Hurricane Dorian. Mr. Trump canceled a weekend visit to Poland to plan for the potentially catastrophic storm that could affect more than 20 million Americans,” Grace Segers reports for CBS News. “White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham said the president has been briefed hourly on the storm.” https://tinyurl.com/yyu3qao7 CNN’s April Ryan is now making some Bizarre claims about President Trump and Hurricanes. As Breitbart reports: https://tinyurl.com/yxa8h2q6 Senator Lindsay Graham is heaping praise on President Trump for finally doing something to combat China. https://tinyurl.com/y47j2trd G-7 Summit: Trump Strikes 'Billion-Dollar' Trade Deal with Japan -Fox Business “A deal is all but sealed with Japan,” Fox Business reports. “It’s a very big transaction and we’ve agreed in principle,” President Donald J. Trump confirmed alongside Prime Minister Shinzo Abe at the G-7 summit in France this week. President Trump said the Prime Minister agreed to purchase large sums of American farmers’ corn and “expects the billion-dollar deal to be sealed by the time the U.N. General Assembly meets in mid-September.” https://tinyurl.com/yyj4p7kp Washington Post Claims Pumpkin Spice Linked To Genocide And Slavery https://tinyurl.com/y47tlm8a Former CIA Officer Claims Comey Attempted Coup https://tinyurl.com/y2sbwc6a Court Overturns Conviction Of Five-Time Deported Immigrant Who Shot Kate Steinle https://tinyurl.com/yx9op272 African Migrants Stuck In Mexico Fight Authorities, Demand Passage To US: Report https://tinyurl.com/y3ukk7xl Good Riddance to the Flores Decree -The Wall Street Journal “The Trump administration announced last week it will terminate the Flores settlement agreement, a 1997 court decree that has prevented U.S. officials from detaining migrant families and unaccompanied minors for more than 20 days,” John Daniel Davidson writes. “Ending the settlement was the right call. More than any other single policy, it has created a magnet for illegal immigration, essentially guaranteeing entry to unaccompanied minors and any adult who crosses the Rio Grande with a child.” https://tinyurl.com/y56bguej Younger Workers Report Biggest Gains in Happiness With Pay -The Wall Street Journal https://tinyurl.com/y2qpkun7 Suspect In Texas Shooting Reportedly Lost Job Before Rampage https://tinyurl.com/y6e79s9s Westwing News: https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Beef, Pork, Lemonade http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: Salmonella Outbreak Linked to Poultry http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: Residents of a Newfoundland and Labrador town with a famously suggestive name are petitioning to stop a s%x toy company from using their sign for advertisements. The town of D%ldo was gifted a Hollywood-style sign last week by U.S. late night TV host Jimmy Kimmel, who jokingly ran for mayor of the town, and adult toy company Our Pleasure posted a video to Facebook showing off some of its products in front of the sign and other local landmarks Saturday. Andrew Pretty, a member of D%ldo's local service district committee, said despite the town's name, residents were not pleased to find out their town was being used to sell s%x toys. "We didn't think it was appropriate," Pretty told The Telegram newspaper. A lot of people are upset over it. "If they had just casually mentioned the name on their site and didn't go to that extreme, we wouldn't have had a problem, but they went too far with this," he said. That's not what the town is about at all. Pretty said some residents have tried reaching out to Our Pleasure, but their concerns were dismissed. He said people are particularly upset that the company was taking photos of s%x toys outdoors in daylight hours. "They had one picture right next to the playground ... it's not right.," he said. I think about the children. There's no need of an 8-year-old seeing Our Pleasure going around with s%x toys in the community. Cathy Daniels, owner of Our Pleasure, said the company was careful to make sure no one was around when the photos were taken. "In our industry, we're very sex-positive. But still, it's still a very taboo topic to talk about it," she said. So, for us, for D%ldo to be [in the media], although they were talking about the community, they were also talking about the object. Pretty said a petition calling on Our Pleasure not to use photos of the town for its advertising and social media campaigns already has five pages of signatures. "We really hope [the petition] will make a difference," he said. -<>- It's happened, folks. The first extraplanetary crime has been committed. The wife of a NASA astronaut claimed that her identity was stolen and her bank account accessed without permission while her estranged wife was on a six- month mission aboard the International Space Station. Astronaut Anne McClain has been involved in a bitter divorce with former Air Force intelligence officer Summer Worden since 2018, but the battle recently took an unexpected turn when Worden filed a complaint with the FTC and NASA's OIG accusing her wife of assuming her identity and gaining improper access to her financial records while she was orbiting the earth. Worden said that she was tipped off when McClain somehow had knowledge about her private spending while in space with no way to know otherwise. She contacted her bank and was informed that her sign-in credentials had been used on a computer registered to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. McClain has denied these allegations, telling the inspector general's office in an interview last week that she was acting in routine by checking the family's finances to make sure they had sufficient funds to pay bills for their son. Worden and McClain wed in 2014, but contention over Worden's son and financial issues lead Worden to file for divorce. A short time later, McClain went on the mission with NASA. You see? This is what happens when you put lesbians in space. *--- Man Paddles from California to Hawaii Are plane fares that expensive? A man who set off from San Francisco in June became the first person to stand-up paddleboard from California to Hawaii 76 days later. Antonio De La Rosa, 50, from Spain, set off from San Francisco June 9 with a 90-day supply of food and his next human contact came Friday when he encountered fishing captain Kekoa Seward off the coast of Molokai. De La Rosa traveled about 2,500 miles on his paddleboard in 76 days, only six days later than his goal of 70 days. The athlete's paddleboard, the Ocean Defender, measures 24 feet long and includes a sleeping cabin and solar panels to power his GPS device and other useful electronics. De La Rosa said he was briefly taken off course by Hurricane Flossie, but he was able to redirect his journey. *--- Strongman Fingers Boat ---* A Georgian strongman may have set a new world record when he used only a single finger to pull a 220-ton boat a distance of about 16 feet. A video shows Giorgi Rostomashvili using a rope tied around his middle finger to pull the Tamara 2, an ocean tug boat weighing about 220 tons. The boat moved about 16 feet toward shore while Rostomashvili pulled. The Georgian Records Federation said the attempt was a national record for the heaviest boat pulled with a single finger. The federation said evidence from the attempt is being submitted to Guinness World Records. *--- Bear Fight ---* Authorities in Colorado said a couple got into a fistfight with a bear when the animal and its cub entered their home to steal food. The Jefferson County Sheriff's Office said the the couple investigated sounds inside their Pine home about 8:30 p.m. and came face to face with the mother bear and cub. The larger animal attacked the 71-year-old man, who hit the predator with his fists while his wife struck it with a baseball bat. Authorities described the confrontation as a "boxing match." Deputies said the mother bear and cub fled through a screen door. The man suffered minor scrapes and cuts, while the woman was not injured. *--- World's Oldest Skydiver ---* A Seattle woman celebrated 103 years of life by setting a new Guinness World Record for being the oldest female tandem skydiver. Kathryn "Kitty" Hodges was strapped to a Skydive Snohomish instructor when she jumped out of a plane 10,000 feet over Snohomish County alongside her son, Warren Hodges, and a few other family members. "It's fun, so why not have some fun? Hallelujah!" Hodges told local news. Warren Hodges, who had been skydiving a few times, suggested the Guinness attempt to his mother. Skydive Snohomish officials said the current age record for a female tandem skydiver is 100, but a news report from Australia indicates a 102-year-old woman went skydiving last year. Evidence from Hodges' jump is being submitted to Guinness for official recognition. "It was kind of overwhelming," she told said after landing. I didn't know what to say. I was so nervous. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: \_/ --(_)-- . / \ /_\ |Q| .-----' '-----. __ /____[SCHOOL]___\ ())) | [] .-.-. [] | (((()) ..|____|_|_|____|..................................)(... ldb >How Was School? A mom picks her son up from school. Curious about his day she asks, "What did you learn in school today?" The son answers, "Apparently, not enough. I have to go back tomorrow!" -<>- >It's A Two Cow Joke Two cows were standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy. -<>- >Punny Stuff 6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down. I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need. I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded. Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. I'm a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable. The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn't make any cents! I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time. Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you'll hear some crosswords. -<>- .-''''-. _ (' ' '0)-/) '..____..: \._ \u u ( '-..------._ | / : '. '--. .nn_nn/ ( : ' '\ ( '' '' / ; . \ ''----' "\ : : '. .'/ '. / / '. /_| ) .\| | /\ . ' '--.__| '--._ , / /'-, .' / | _.' snd (____\ / \ \ '-'-'-' >Q and A Quickies: Q: Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? A: Ireland. Every day it's Dublin. Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? A: A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter. Q: What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe? A: Narnia business! Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? A: To reach the high notes. Q: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? A: Stop going in circles and get to the point! Q: How do you get straight A's? A: By using a ruler! Q: Why did the M&M go to school? A: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! _......._ .-'.'.'.'.'.'.`-. .'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.`. /.'.' '.\ |.' _.--...--._ | \ `._.-.....-._.' / | _..- .-. -.._ | .-.' `. ((@)) .' '.-. ( ^ \ `--. .-' / ^ ) \ / . . \ / / .' '. .- \ ( _.\ \ (_`-._.-'_) /._\) `-' \ ' .--. / `-' | / /|_| `-._.'\ | | | |_| | /-.._ _..-\ `.--.______.' | \ ..... | `. .' `. / \ .' LGB `-..___..-` Q: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? A: He has only one pupil. Q: What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A: A teacher says, "Spit out that gum!" and a train says, "Chew! Chew!" ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ___________ [___________] {=========} .-' '-. / \ /_________________\ | _ _ _ | ||\(_ |_)||_)||\ || ,.--. ,.--. ||~\_)| || \|| \|| // \ \ // \ \ |_________________| jgs \\ \ / \\ \ / | | `'--' `'--' '-----------------' At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines' conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with noise-induced tension headaches. I drove to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with four cases of baby powder and several boxes of aspirin. As the man behind me in the checkout line peered at my purchases, he laughed and exclaimed, "Must be one heck of a baby!" -<>- The teacher in an adult Sabbath class asked a woman to read about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!'" she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month - until you loathe it." When the woman finished she paused, looked up and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?" -<>- A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole table, "What rotten luck I've had today! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her suggests, "I don't know... why don't you play your age?" He walks away, but moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29, and when 36 came up she just fainted!" -<>- One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?" I asked. Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation. "The repairs were to the other side," I noted. -<>- ____... .-"--"""".__ `. | ` | ( `._....------.._.: ) .()'' ``(). ' () .==' `=== `-. . ) ( g) ) ) / J ( |. / . ( $$ (. (_'. , )|` || |\`-....--'/ ' \ /||. \\ | | | / / \. //||(\ \`-===-' ' \o. .//7' |) `. -- / ( OObaaaad888b. (<<. / | .a888b`.__.'d\ OO888888888888a. \ Y' | .8888888aaaa88POOOOOO888888888888888. \ \ | .888888888888888888888888888888888888b | | .d88888P88888888888888888888888b8888888. b.--d .d88888P8888888888888888a:f888888|888888b 88888b 888888|8888888888888888888888888\8888888 A tobacco company sent Dave several packages of cigarettes with the explanation: "We are sending you some of our finest cigarettes. We hope you enjoy them and will want more." After several months the tobacco company received this reply from Dave: "I got your cigarettes and soaked them in a quart of water which I sprayed on my bug-infested rosebushes. Every bug died! These cigarettes make best poison ever! Please send me some more next month in case any bugs survived." -<>- I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said, "I'd like large bills, please." She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size." When I got up off the floor I explained it to her. ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: | /"\ |\ | |"\ /"\ |\ | |\/| /"\ /"\ .-"L"-. |__ \_/ | \| |_/ \_/ | \| | | \_/ \_/ .--""L""---___ J | | J J ""L L J J J----"""J""---__ | | J J L L_--""|"--L | F J L L__ ___ L L | J | J F J F \""""""" | """""-----, L | J J F | \ L L L | | | J J _.---""" \ J | | | | F F F / \ | J | | | J J | / \ L ___---++...;.++'--__ F J / \ J L""----____ __---""J__--=----_E_ / \ | J | |--__ __--"/ / __ \ L L | F ""F / / """--__ J J | J | / / ""; | L | | J / / __--""" \ L J | F F / / __--"" \ J L | J | / / --"" \ | J | | J / / \ L L | F F / / \ J J | J | / / \ | L | | J / / \ L J | F F / / \ J L | J | / / \ | _J | |"-J+' / \-L" L | F / \ J | J / '-. \ "-.|+' / '-. \ / . '-. \ / .-' '-. .-' "-. .-' hs '-. .-' . "-. .-' '-. .-' .' '. '-.-' ' .' '. >Playing with Our Words My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, ?Shouldn?t, couldn?t, wouldn?t, didn?t, can?t!? ?Doctor, what?s wrong with my wife?? ?Nothing, she?s just having contractions.? **** A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, ?Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn?t pay for the food.? The panda yells back, ?Hey, man, I?m a panda. Look it up!? The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: ?A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves. -<>- _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| .----. / ( > | /| '--. ( ) ._ / || ]| `-. ) _/-.__.'`\ || ]| ::| ( .-'`-. \__ ) || ]| ::| `/ `-./ `. || ]| ::| _ | \ \ \ \| ]| .-' / \| \ \ \ \ L.__ .--'( | |\ `. / / \ ,---|_ \---------, | `\'. '. /`\ \/ .--._|=- |_ /| | \ '. '._ './`\/ .-' '. / | | | `'. `;-:-;`)| |-./ | | /_ `'--./_ ` )/'-------------')/) | \ | `""""----"`\//`""`/,===..'`````````/ ( | | | / `---` `===' / ) | / \ / / ( | | '------. |'--------------------'| ) | \ `-| | / | `--...,______| | ( | | | | | ) ,| | | | | ( /|| | | | | )/ `" / \ | | (/ jgs .' /I\ '.| | /) .-'_.'/ \'. | | / ``` `"""` `| .-------------------.|| `"` `"` >Auto replies to use when out of the office..... 1) I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request. 2) I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 3) You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 4) I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 5) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. 6) The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over). 7) Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 8) I've run away to join a different circus. 9) I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of Phil.' ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Rotating Skyscrapers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skyscraper.html Amazing Football Facts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/footballfacts.html These Colors! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thesecolors.html Werribee Open Range Zoo! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/werribeezoo.html Real ANGRY Birds! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angrybirds.html Salute To Texas! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/salutetexas.html Signs For Women http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wsigns.html Western Scrap Metal Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/scrapmetalart.html Colorful Birds 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birds3.html Real Eagle Story! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html Endangered Wolf! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolf.html Maria The Goose! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goose.html Mouse Vs Leopard! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mouse.html World Of Peacocks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peacock.html Leopard Vs Crocodile! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/leopard.html Great Engineering Achievements! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/engineering.html Junkyard Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/junkart.html Wood Chip Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodart.html Dog Warriors!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogwarriors.html Beautiful Mexico!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulmexico.html Beautiful Bridges!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bridges.html Amazing Photos 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingphotos3.html Right Angle Photography 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto4.html Rarely Seen Africa!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/africa.html Amazing Stairways!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stairs.html Willis (Sears) Tower!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/willist.html Rarely Seen Critters!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarecritters.html Venice Winter Flood!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/venice.html God's Most Beautiful!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mostbeautiful.html Running Horses! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/runninghorses.html SUMMER INDEX! https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8 -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Beautiful nature and wildlife footage by National Geographic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hodomt6bBOw&feature=youtu.be It took three years to rescue Lulu as she was living alone in a California canyon but the wait was worth it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AXRc4Z5jTc --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >Revisiting... >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Take a trip back in time with a short tour of the Roadside America Museum in Hillsboro, Texas. This look into the museum created by Carroll Estes is brought to us by Texas Country Reporter. The Roadside America Museum contains about as fine a collection of 1940's and 1950's nostalgia that you'll see anywhere. He's got a large collection of Grapette memorabilia and his collection of classic cars is pretty unique as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2okbl6SRRbg Amazing close-up magic by Taiwanese magician Liu Qian, who has earned superstar status for his unbelievable performances. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASkvqJNNV_w --- ...Wowsers! Pretty Cool! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) Lily is the world's first throw-and-shoot camera. https://www.youtube.com/embed/4vGcH0Bk3hg?rel=0 --- ...Wow! How Awesome! I want one! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "This weekend a couple from Connecticut will have the longest marriage ever recorded in the U.S. They said the secret to their long-lasting marriage is love, compromise, and the fact that neither one of them has been able to hear a word the other one has said in more than 30 years." -Jimmy Kimmel "A study found that many types of head lice have mutated and now have become resistant to over-the-counter treatments. The problem has scientists scratching their heads." -Conan O'Brien "The federal government has a new plan that will let people send texts to 911. Yeah, it's a little frustrating when you try to text, 'Burglar! Please hurry!,' and it auto-corrects to, 'Burger, please. Hungry.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Today is national dog day. Dogs, as you're probably aware, were widely considered to be man's best friend, until 2007 when the iPhone was invented to replace it." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new study claims that first grade students are getting three times more homework than they should be doing. This is coming from the lead researcher, 'Timmy.'" -Conan O'Brien "A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep." -Seth Meyers "Police are looking for a woman who stole $3,000 worth of cat-grooming supplies at an airport baggage carousel. Police describe the suspect as 'single.'" -Seth Meyers "For a lot of children, the party known as summer is over. Don't worry, kids. School will end eventually and then you'll get to go to a different kind of school called work, and it only ends when you get old and die." -Jimmy Kimmel "In Saudi Arabia, a 14-year-old boy was detained for dancing to the Macarena. You know, I don't say this often but I'm going to side with the Saudi government on this one." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************