Scents Men Would Appreciate And More... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
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Group home page:
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or Web Site:
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Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
*~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com
The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the
ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each
week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If
every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole
year! So Please - I need your help today!
"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
>Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel?
If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel,
the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is
easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the
site, scroll down and click on the donate button.
A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up.
NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item'
form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is
you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your
normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United
States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like.
EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP!
Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed!
PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html
OR If you'd rather send us a donation,
Please MAIL it here:
Elrhea Bigham
502 S. Harrison
Van Wert, OH 45891
*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT!
================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
AND For Facebook Users:
Please Like Me here...
http://tinyurl.com/cma6all
AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family!
^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU!
-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
,--. ,---.
/ '. / \
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/`v'\/;
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/) ,---| -`-----(\'
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(| ,-| ---- |-.
| /| ---- |\ |
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\ : ---- ; |
\ \ -- / /
; \ / :
/ / \/ \ \
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.: Ralph & Son :.
If you have ever been bitten by a flea, you know how painful they can
be as well as irritating and very itchy. Think of your poor fur baby.
They are the main target of fleas. If you are getting bit by fleas,
chances are, they are suffering far more.
The problem begins with some scratching here and there. Maybe you spot
some tiny specks around the house that you might’ve missed before. Maybe
that beautiful hair that was so thick is looking a tad thin these days.
Before you know it - yep. It’s confirmed.
Fido has fleas. And you’d better check Fluffy the Cat, too. One
estimation finds that for every adult flea found on your pet, there
are at least 100 immature ones hanging around.
You can see what they leave behind. It’s called “flea dirt,” and it
looks a little like pepper. The specks are actually bits of dried blood
that will turn from black, to brown, and finally back to red if you
rehydrate them on a wet paper towel.
Fleas lay eggs on your pet - tiny white ovals - that mostly fall off
into the environment around it (your bed, the dog bed, the carpet, that
favorite chair), only to hatch a few days later into flea larvae.
You can see larvae, too. They're little, squiggly, worm-looking things
with brown heads that will feed on all those specks until they wrap
themselves up into a cocoon called a pupa. From larva to pupa takes
only about 3-4 weeks. After that, they’re fully grown fleas, looking
for a ride and a little of your pet's (or your) blood.
With a large infestation of fleas, some pets (especially smaller kittens
or pups) could be in danger of anemia, or a loss of red blood cells.
Fleas can take in up to 15 times their body weight in blood.
Fleas are, in the strictest sense of the word, pests. But they can be
way more than that. They can transmit disease (to humans, too) and cause
life-threatening problems for your pet. And don't think your fur babies
are safe just because they are inside only pets. Fleas can easily be
carried into your house just by people walking in.
The best way to keep you and your pet safe from these blood sucking
pests is to treat them once a month with a leading flea killer. That
is why I am most pleased to announce that we have a new sponsor.
BudgetPetCare.com is a leading online supplier of pet health care
products.
.-.
o \ .-.
.----.' \
.'o) / `. o
/ |
\_) /-.
'_.` \ \
`. | \
| \ |
.--/`-. / /
.'.-/`-. `. .\|
/.' /`._ `- '-.
____(|__/`-..`- '-._ \
|`------.'-._ ` ||\ \
|| # /-. ` / || \|
|| #/ `--' / /_::_|)__
`|____|-._.-` / ||`--------`
\-.___.` | / || # |
\ | | || # # |
/`.___.'\ |.`|________|
| /`.__.'|'.`
__/ \ __/ \
/__.-.) /__.-.) LGB
Right now they have an awesome sale on their flea products:
Frontline for Cats:
Buy 4 Get 4 Doses Free + Extra Discount & Free Shipping
https://tinyurl.com/y35ypdn3
Oh, Don't worry, they've got your dog covered too!
Buy Online Cheap Advantage For Dogs with Free Shipping in US
https://tinyurl.com/y333x3p4
What I like about our new sponsor is that everything that you purchase
by clicking through these ads to their online store, not only saves
you big money on your pet's health needs, it also helps keep Shangrala
alive! And they ship almost world wide!
I'll be adding more sponsors to help us out as time goes on. Right
now is a great time to save big and stock up to keep your little
furry friends free of those nasty blood sucking pests!
-<>-
>HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press
This super too hot to handle new page is from our friends Linda,
LouiseAu and PatDeE. It is sure to tickle your funny bone and give
you plenty of Smiles for your day. Be sure to check out this one
Here:
_______ ______
' ' ' '
( BUD ) _______ ( WISE )
,_ _____, / \ ,___ __,
| | ER | |
\ | | /
oO)-. \___ ___/ .-(Oo
/__ _\ | /_ __\
\ \( | / | )/ /
\__|\ | ()~() | /|__/
' '--' (-___-) '--' '
==`-'==
Steve
Humorous Signs 5!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns5.html
---
...TeeHee! So Funny! Thanks my Friends!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
|
|
_ |
_/=\_ |
_/=====\_ |
'-\-' / \
' , ' /(o)|
__)-(____ /|^^^|
/ <\/> __/_|\/^|
/ /| : | /__|^^^|
/ / | : |/___|^^^|
/_/ }===={)___|^^^|\ .-.
((' |) (| )__|^^^|_\ ______/o )
\\ | | )_|^^^|/ \----- ( / _____
'\ | | | \|^^^| \ / \ // |||||
___\| | |____|^^^|__________\ / \\\\///__|||||
/___)| | |___///|\\\_____=____\_/(___\\)/___|()||
/___( |__|_|__////|\\\\ __ ___-______| | \____|||||
/__=__)(___)__)^^^^^^^^^( ;__________| |______|||||
/_____(___________________)___________" "____=__|||||
________________________________________________|||||
|||||
_________
|OOShy
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything
I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for
everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my
house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance
company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he
asked.
-<>-
"Can anyone tell me," asked the teacher, "why the Middle Ages are often
called the Dark Ages?"
Sally raised her hand and shouted, "Because they had so many knights?"
-<>-
An elementary school teacher decides to poll the class on the difficulty
of last night's homework assignment.
"How many people were able to complete the assignment without parent's
help?" About 25% of the class raises their hands.
"How many people were able to complete the assignment with the help of a
parent?" About 70% of the class raises their hands.
The teacher still notices about 5% of the class did not raise their
hands. She then calls out, "How many people had to help a parent
complete your assignment?"
-<>-
It seems in this day and time you can't go into an area dominated by a
woman without detecting the 'aroma' (odorous terribilis) of some kind of
bizarre scented candle. Everything from 'Boysenberry Vanilla Potpourri'
to 'Spice Orange Jasmine Chocolate'. Sometimes it gives me a headache!
/\
/ \
\/\/
~|
!~~--!
|` , !
|'` |
| |
______|____|_______
\ /
\_______________/
Clinton James
Well, it's about time men had their own scented candles. Below you will
find a few scents men would appreciate.
'62 Chevy truck - Interior and Exhaust
Gunpowder
Wet Dog (only if it's your own dog)
Frying Bacon (actually, a lot of different fried foods)
Wood Smoke
Chainsaw Exhaust
Freshly Caught Bass
Ozone (arc welder, of course)
Acetylene
Freshly Moved Dirt
Silage
Sawdust
New Tires
Hot Metal
3 Year Old Cap
Ammonia Fertilizer (light, of course)
Burning Grass or Leaves
Alfalfa
Firecrackers
Latex Paint
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
May 20 Be a Millionaire Day - now we all can go for that and Pick
Strawberries Day
May 21 is National Memo Day, National Waiters and Waitresses Day and
Victoria Day (Canada)
May 22 is Buy a Musical Instrument Day and World Goth Day
May 23 is Lucky Penny Day
May 24 is Don't Fry Friday and National Escargot Day
May 25 is International Jazz Day, National Missing Children's Day,
National Brown Bag It Day, National Towel Day - in the UK,
National Wine Day and Tap Dance Day
May 26 is Sally Ride Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
_________________
/________________/|
_,-----._ | _______________ ||
_,-'. _,-' _ ---`-. |[_______________]||
_,-' .`. _'_ __'.|__`. `. |\ | ||
,-' , `. `.`-.,-' `-. \,`.`. \ .------| \ | ||
| __ (_`._ ` ,' / `.`. _,-' '------| / | ||
\ \,`. ) / _,' \ _,-' |/ | .. ,--. /. ||
`.`. ,' _,-' `.-' | \\((__))' ,` ||
`-.___,-'_,-' | `-;--:-' ||
|_________________|/
jrei
>Mail Call
During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received
several letters from home.
The drill instructor was getting irritated at having to keep calling
my name. "You must have a lot of people at home who like you, huh?"
he barked.
"Sir, no, sir!" I shouted.
"Oh, so you're calling me a liar?" goaded the DI.
Trained as a Marine to think quickly on my feet, I yelled out, "Sir,
creditors, sir!"
The DI had to leave the room so we wouldn't see him laughing.
-<>-
>Photo Shoot
Two weeks after my one-year-old's photo shoot, I returned to the
studio to view the pictures on a color monitor.
The photographer started describing the merits of each photo, but as
he went through the set, he spoke so quickly that I couldn't get a
word in as he pressed home his sales pitch. Finally, after we'd seen
all 20 poses, he asked me which ones I was most interested in.
"None," I replied. "This isn't my child."
-<>-
>Optometrist
We were helping customers when the store optometrist walked by and
flirted with a co-worker. Of course, we all had to stop what we were
doing to tease her. But she quickly dismissed the notion of a budding
romance.
"Can you imagine making out with an optometrist?" she asked. "It
would always be, 'Better like this...or like this?'"
-<>-
>Dog IQ
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your
dog's IQ.
Here's how it works: If you spend $39.95 to see this video, it proves
your dog is the smarter one.
-<>-
/ )
(\__/) ( (
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={ }= / /
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( /
\ |
,'\ , ,'
`-'\ ,---\ | \
_) ) `. \ /
(__/ ) ) hjw
(_/
>Laws of Cat Physics
LAW OF CAT INERTIA - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest,
unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat
food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
LAW OF CAT MOTION - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there
is a really good reason to change direction.
LAW OF CAT THERMODYNAMICS - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler
body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat.
FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION - Cats know that energy can
neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little
energy as possible.
LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY - All bags and boxes in a given room must
contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is
directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
LAW OF PILL REJECTION - Any pill given to a cat has potential energy
to reach escape velocity.
LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter +
It Doesn't Matter.
LAW OF SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM - Given enough time, a cat will land in
just about any space.
LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE - As yet undiscovered.
-<>-
>Waterproofing
The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have
thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she got my very patient
son on the phone.
At the end of her very long sales pitch, she asked, "Do you mind if
we send someone out to give you an estimate?"
"Not at all," my son said.
"When would be a good time?"
"As soon as I dig a basement," he replied.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
....
.: :..:::::'
..:.::'''' ''' .. . .
.':: ::'' .. .. .::'' '''
':::' .::.':: .'..::::::.
..:.::::: '.. :.'.:'''
...:''' '':'::':' ''
:^ ^ 'o> .:'''
:..' '.
''''':: ': .........
: :. ...::''' ' ' '''::.
.:: ':::.:':''''' :::':.
.::' :::
::' ::. ...::.
.::' . '''.' . :.
'::. ::... . .'.''':::.
':. ....:::::':::::. ':::..
.:' .:'.:.'::::::' ' ':::.. ':::::.
....:::::.. .:::::::'' ' '':. '':'
.':.:.:::::::'. ...:: ''
.'.'' .':'::' LGB
.::' .''::
' ':':'.. .
'''.'
>SMILES
Two men are hunting in the woods, a deer crosses their path and in the
ensuing confusion, one hunter shoots the other with his gun. The shot
man drops to the ground silent and appears to be near death. The shooter
calls 911 and tells the operator, Help, I think I just killed my friend!
The 911 operator replies, Ok sir, first things first, let's make sure
your friend is dead. The shooter replies, Hang on a second. The sound of
a gunshot can be heard by the operator. The man returns to the phone and
replies, Alright, now what?
----------
A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant
woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it.
"This is the Masterson diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there
is a terrible curse that goes with it."
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
"Mr. Masterson."
----------
The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace.
"How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?" Not
surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "who'll give us the
reason for being opposed to war?" A large, bored-looking boy in the back
of the room raised his hand. "Johnny?" The teacher said. "I hate war,"
Johnny said, "because wars make history, and I hate history."
----------
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the
perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining
light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain.
And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Girl, if
that's all you want, get a TV!"
----------
The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot,
said, "I would like to know two things. First: Why did you revolt?
Second: How did you get out of your cell?" One of the three men stepped
forward, "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful." "I see. And
what did you use to break the bars?" The warden asked. Replied the
spokesman, "French Toast..."
--------
As a teacher, I know that kindergarten has always been a place to learn
important lessons. So, one day when I was visiting the school where my
husband was the principal, I went to discover that "place of wonder",
kindergarten. There, I noticed a little girl busily slapping paint on an
easel. To my eye, her creation seemed to be nothing more that a big red
blob. "Tell me about your painting." I said. The young artist stopped
painting. She backed away from the easel and gave her work a careful
look. Then she heaved a heavy sigh and exclaimed, "It's a turkey!" After
what seemed an eternity, she added. "And tomorrow, I'm going to put the
skin on it!"
----------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click', and I wrote 'click'."
----------
My older son loves school, but his younger brother Tommy absolutely
hates it. One weekend Tommy cried and fretted and tried every excuse not
to go back on Monday. Sunday morning on the way home from church, the
crying and whining built to a crescendo.
At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, "Honey,
it's a law. If you don't go to school, they'll put Mommy in jail."
Tommy looked at me, thought a moment, then asked, "How long would you
have to stay?"
----------
Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new
computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand
nuclear and chemical attacks.
Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and
yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have
to get rid of that coffee."
The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?"
"Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard."
----------
What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Southern zoo?
On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the
scientific name in Latin.
A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.
---
...Oh My! HaHAHa! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From HandyHints:
,
/\^/`\
| \/ |
| | |
\ \ /
'\\//'
||
||
||
|| ,
|\ || |\
| | || | |
| | || / /
\ \||/ /
jgs `\\//`
^^^^^^^^
Whether you pick them from the yard or grab a bunch at the
supermarket, sunny tulips are certain to brighten any corner
of your home!
The pro secret to beautiful blooms?
Wrap the stems in a sheet of newspaper, then place them in
a vase filled with cold water for one hour. This allows
the tulips to hydrate in an upright position so they stay
relatively straight, which makes them look livelier.
After an hour, remove the paper and display.
-<>-
Get your tootsies ready for sandal season with a relaxing soak!
Foot soaks soothe skin and help reduce pain, swelling, and
inflammation.
What to do?
Fill a basin with warm water, 1/2 cup of Epsom salts, and
a few drop of your favorite essential oil.
If you have fresh flowers, add some pedals to the warm
water.
The coars salts exfoliate dead skin cells and nix inflammation,
and the flowers and/or oils add a relaxing scent.
Soak your feet for 30 minutes, then slather on moisturizing
coconut oil.
-<>-
____
.---[[__]]----.
;-------------.| ____
| || .--[[__]]---.
| || ;-----------.|
| || | ||
jgs |_____________|/ | ||
|___________|/
Pack like a pro this travel season
Free up your suitcase by following the 3:1 rule.
What's the 3:1 rule? It's an easy way to pare down what you
pack.
Take three tops for every bottom. Just pick bottom that
do triple duty, such as jeans or black pants, which you can
dress up with accessories.
-<>-
Banish back aches by taking a load off
Sounds too good to be true, but shirking your responsibilities
for extra downtime eases backaches now and helps prevent
discomfort later.
AND reach for a pillow...placing a pillow under your knees
(for back sleepers) or between your knees (for side sleepers)
removes 55 pounds of pressure from your back, allowing
inflamed tissues to heal while you snooze.
-<>-
Ease coffee stains with a salty ice scrub
To lift stubborn stains from unofficial kitchen 'appliances' -
namely your coffee pot or teapot - add 5 ice cubes, 4 tsp of
salt and 1 tbs of white vinegar to carafe.
The vinegar breaks down coffee and tea stains while the ice
and salt create scrubbing power that removes them.
Swirl the mixture, then clean your pot with soap and water
before using.
-<>-
Windows of opportunity
Clean your windows by adding 1/4 cup of vinegar to 2 or 3
cups of water. Some recipes call for a few drops of liquid
detergent, and still others suggest you use only lemon
juice added to water. You can use a newspaper to wipe,
if newspaper inks don't bother you, or use a clean old
cotton rag.
-<>-
Guard windows with strategic landscaping
Prickly plants can form a modern 'moat' around windows.
Rose shrubs, blackberries, and firethorn all sport a healthy
crop of thorns that will deter burglars.
You can also protect windows just by using thick curtains
and keeping them closed when you aren't home - if would-be
bad guys can't see inside, they can't tell if it's safe to
enter and will move on.
-<>-
|
____________ ____________ |
/ O * maytag \ / O O maytag \ |
|____________| |____________| |
| ____________ || | |
|| ||| | |
|| ]||| | |
/\ ____ || ||| | _______ |
[| ||Tide|||____________||| | |#####| |
__|__||____||______________||______________|__|#####|___|
|#####| jro\
Keep valuables safe by stashing them here
Where is the best place to stash your treasures?
The laundry room!
It's a low-priority location for thieves because it rarely
contains valuables, and most burglars want to get in and
out of your house as quickly as possible.
Also smart...
Hide valuables on shelves above eye level. The average
burglary takes just nine minutes - they aren't going to
take the time to reach high up.
-<>-
Banish Blemishes with a Honey Spot Treatment
There is a lot more to honey than being sweet! The natural
sweetener has natural anti-septic, anti-bacterial, and anti-
inflammatory properties!
Its anti-bacterial properties can help fight acne-causing
bacteria, and because honey keeps the skin very well-hydrated
and balanced it helps control the production of oil!
Try It! Mix 2 crushed aspirin tablets with 1 tsp of honey to
form a paste. Apply onto blemishes and let it sit for 10
minutes before rinsing with water.
-<>-
>'Go Green' Hints:
Cover pans when cooking:
Whenever you cook on the hob, always try to cover the pans -
this reduces the amount of energy that escapes from open
pans, plus the amount of time it takes to heat up food and
boil water.
-<>-
Contribute Monthly to Your Savings Account
Make it a point to add a dedicated amount to your savings
at the end of each month. Even if it's just a few dollars,
the savings can add up and it will keep you from spending it
frivolously.
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
Thank God For Heroes:
Thousands honor teen who died trying to stop Colorado school shooting
Kendrick Castillo's friends and loved ones honored the 18-year-old's
character and the accomplishments of his short life. May he rest in
peace knowing he did not die in vain - he saved his fellow students.
https://tinyurl.com/y3fngcdn
Ex-Oregon football player stops gunman at school
https://tinyurl.com/y5c78yjl
'Heroes' lead police to Texas girl who was abducted while walking
with her mother, police say
https://tinyurl.com/y6r244s2
Justice With Judge Jeanine 5/18/19
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYLjwR9QVUQ
HERE’S HOW THE ASYLUM SYSTEM IS BEING EXPLOITED
https://tinyurl.com/y4ubzoa8
JIM CARREY WISHES ALABAMA GOV. KAY IVEY WAS ABORTED
https://tinyurl.com/y3o6arkf
MIKE PENCE GETS STANDING OVATION DESPITE STUDENT WALKOUT AT
COMMENCEMENT
https://tinyurl.com/y4e2jfe5
REPUBLICAN Calls For Trump’s IMPEACHMENT
He is throwing President Trump under the bus…
http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-12sql8-jm54c7-b61d11g0/
TRENDING: Trump Wants Investigation Into Biden’s FOREIGN Ties
What is Biden hiding? Trump is now on to it... (why would we want
more corruption - like Hillary - in the White House?)
http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-12sql8-jm54ca-b61d11g2/
Ocasio-Cortez MOCKS The BIBLE - This is the highest form of disrespect.
http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-12sql8-jm54ce-b61d11g6/
Ocasio-Cortez Makes STUPIDEST Comment Yet - She has resorted to making
childish arguments. But this one is out of this world!
http://trk.cp20.com/click/g6v6-12sql8-jm54cg-b61d11g8/
A potentially deadly disease once thought to be wiped out - Survival
Update - Typhus Returns?
https://tinyurl.com/y6gdgpvu
Westwing News:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/
WhiteHouseNews:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Students For Life
https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6
Latest From OperationRescue:
http://www.operationrescue.org/
Latest Product Alert: Beef, Salads, Soap
http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text
Latest Health Alert:
http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text
Free to click for Free:
https://www.greatergood.com/emails/2019/reminder-051919-THS-w.html
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
I doubt they'll make a movie out of it, but a Nebraska
farmer showed grit, determination, fearlessness and an
indomitable will to live, not to mention incredible
carelessness, when he stuck his foot in a grain auger.
Kurt Kaser was unloading corn before he climbed out of
his truck and accidentally stepped on the piece of
equipment that is used to transport grain. It has a part
inside resembling a large drill-bit and it caught hold
of his foot. Kaser said, "I can remember seeing it start
and I go, 'this ain't good'."
Kaser said he became caught as the device pulled at his
leg, tearing away skin, muscle and tissue. "And then when
my foot was in the there banging around, I was trying to
hold my leg, pulling it out."
He didn't have his mobile phone with him, and he said
there was no one around to help. He feared he might pass
out as the machine pulled on his leg.
Mr. Kaser continued: "I about gave up and said, 'Whatever
happens happens.' But then, all at once, I thought of my
pocket knife."
The farmer said at one point he nearly dropped the three
to four-inch blade into the auger, but once he had a good
grip he started sawing off his leg about eight inches
below the knee.
Mr Kaser said he doesn't remember experiencing much pain
and he didn't notice a lot of blood. He continued:
"Adrenaline kicked in so much that I don't know if it hurt
or not."
Once he had amputated his own leg Mr. Kaser had to crawl
about 150 to 200 feet on rock and gravel to the nearest
phone. A medical helicopter arrived and flew him to a
trauma centre about 90 miles away in Lincoln.
The farmer confessed it was not the first time he had
got his limb stuck in an auger, having injured his right
leg in one a few years ago.
He continued: "But that's why they call them accidents I
guess."
-<>-
Breastfeeding is a natural, beautiful thing. It used to be
frowned upon in certain public places, but these days there
is virtually nowhere where a woman is not welcomed to engage
in this wholesome, nurturing activity. So it was a bit of a
surprise when a woman in Newark, NJ was asked by a manager
to leave a McDonald's for breastfeeding. Of course, she is
suing the establishment for violating her rights, but the
manager claims it's not the fact that she was breastfeeding,
but WHAT she was breastfeeding.
32-year-old Adele Albright's lawyer, John O'Keefe, states
that, "Forty-nine states, the District of Columbia and the
Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to
breastfeed in any public or private location."
While the manager maintains that McDonald's has a strict no
animal policy.
Because Albright was allegedly breastfeeding her 6-week-old
puppy.
"The law clearly specifies that a mother shall be entitled
to breast feed in any location of a place of public
accommodation," her lawyer argued. "Whether she is breast-
feeding her 8-month-old son, a horse or a chimpanzee is
irrelevant," he added.
Although Miss Albright says she covered herself and sat far
away from other customers, owner Steve Owens claims many of
his customers complained and were indisposed by the scene.
"When I realized it wasn't a baby but a puppy that was
sucking on her tits, I started puking all over myself,"
explained one customer.
Albright is suing the fast food restaurant chain for $1.1
million dollars over the incident.
*--- Smile: Big Brother is Watching ---*
According to dailymail.co.uk, police fined a pedestrian 90
pounds for disorderly behaviour after he tried to cover his
face when he saw a controversial facial recognition camera
on a street in London. Officers set up the camera on a van
in Romford, East London, which then cross-checked photos of
faces of passers-by against a database of wanted criminals.
But one man was unimpressed about being filmed and covered
his face with his hat and jacket, before being stopped by
officers who took his picture anyway. After being pulled
aside, the man told police: 'If I want to cover me face,
I'll cover me face. Don't push me over when I'm walking down
the street.' The officer told him: 'Calm yourself down or
you're going in handcuffs. It's up to you.' The cameras have
been rolled out in a trial in parts of Britain, but their
use has sparked a privacy debate. This comes just weeks
after it was claimed the new technology incorrectly
identified members of the public in 96 per cent of matches
made between 2016 and 2018.
*--- The Power of Beer ---*
A North Carolina brewery's post promising a free keg party
in exchange for the return of their stolen van went viral
so fast the vehicle was located in 42 minutes. The Unknown
Brewing Company in Charlotte said in a Facebook post that
it would put on "a keg party" for anyone who found the van,
which was stolen early Monday morning. "Please help us find
it. Share with all of your friends. Who ever finds it, Brad
will buy you a keg party!" the post said. "If you stole it
and bring it back, you will also get a keg party (smile for
the camera). Please DM us if you see it." The brewery said
the post was almost immediately shared hundreds of times,
leading to more than 15 tips being called in about the van
and a photo of the stolen vehicle's current whereabouts
being posted on Instagram within 42 minutes of the Facebook
post. The brewery said it is aiming to reward the whole
city for their help. "We wanted to thank all of you for
helping us get our van back, by commenting, sharing and
sending us tips via direct message," the brewery said.
"This week we will brew Van Theft Auto, when it releases,
we will be selling it for 25 cents a pint (to cover taxes).
That's as close to a free keg party as we can do for you,
Charlotte."
*--- Wife Shoots Husband ---*
A man who Florida authorities originally said accidentally
shot himself in a supermarket checkout line was actually
shot by his wife's gun. The Pasco County Sheriff's Office
told the Tampa Bay Times on Monday that deputies'
investigation shows that 69-year-old Vernon Messier was
shot Sunday when his wife's purse fell off a counter at a
Land O' Lake Publix, causing the two-shot derringer inside
to fire. The bullet struck Messier in the shin. Deputies
said 67-year-old Lillian Messier has a concealed weapons
permit. No charges are expected and deputies said Vernon
Messier is recovering.
*--- Maybe He Needed to Use the Carpool Lane ---*
An Arizona police officer who pulled over an Oklahoma man
driving on Interstate 10 got more than he bargained for
when he spotted the man's dead wife in the passenger seat,
police say. Rodney Puckett, 70, told the officer that his
wife, Linda Puckett, 74, had died at a Texas hotel earlier
in their trip, Eloy police wrote in a release. He told
police that he put her body in the passenger seat to
continue on to their destination, officers wrote. Eloy
police arrested Rodney Puckett on suspicion of abandonment
or concealment of a body, police wrote. Detectives are
working with Texas authorities to investigate Linda
Puckett's death. The couple had been in the process of
divorcing. Well, that explains it.
=========================================================
>-->From TheGroaner:
.======================================.
| ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ |
| \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| |
| _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| |
'===================================== ,sSSSs
DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "(
.:. SSS@ =/ \~/
C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_
___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.-
[____________________________________] \ /\//
| ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/
| (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ;
| | | | | | | | | | |____|
| | | | | | | | | | \ |\
| | | | | | | | | | ) ) )
| |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/
| I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ |
jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\
Y\_\
>I'll Have A Double
A guy walked into a bar and ordered a double.
The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like him.
-<>-
>What Seems to be the Trouble?
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear
what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
-<>-
>Q and A Quickies
* * _
/\ * ___. / `)
* //\\ /\ ///\\ / /
///\\\ //\\/\ ////\\\ / / /\
////\\\\///\\/\\.-~~-.///\\\\ / / //\\
/////\\\\///\\/ `\\\\\\/ / ///\\
//////\\\\// / `\\\\/ / ////\\
///////\\\\\// `~` /\ /////\\
////////\\\\\/ ,_____, ,-~ \\\__//////\\\
////////\\\\/ /~| |/////| |\\\\\\\\@//jro/\\
//< / /|__|/////|__|///////~|~/////\\
~~~ ~~ ` ~ .. ~ ~ . ~` ` '.
~ _ - -~. .' .` ~ ., '. ~~ . '.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A: A dino-snore!
Q: What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A: A rocket chip!
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato!
Q: What did the tired criminal need?
A: Arrest.
Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A: They lactose.
Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree!
Q: What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis!
Q: What is a tornado's favorite game to play?
A: Twister!
Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?
A: Pencil-vania.
Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A: Because they are always stuffed!
Q: What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A: Wet feet!
.-""-.
; .-. ; oo
_.('.__.' :-..__//
i".._'-.__.'_.._.-" fsc
Q: What do you do when two snails have a fight?
A: Leave them to slug it out!
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend
John, "How come you aren't married?"
___ # /_,/\
|/ ? /" (
| , )\ .Y___ /
/__/\ \____ \(__
,- / \_/ \ / (\
|/| / < _____ _> \ |. ||\
-|.|--/___/ ,___/___\------'-----'
'-' |\/ b'ger
John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."
George: "So what are you looking for?"
John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and
house keeper, she's got to know how to handle finances,
have a forgiving personality -- and money, she's got to
have money, and if she has her own house it wouldn't
hurt either."
George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"
John: "Oh, it's okay if she's crazy."
-<>-
I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home, and I
took my computer down to the bar to do some work. I sat
down at the bar and I asked the bartender, "What's the wifi
password?"
Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first."
Me: "Okay, I'll have a beer."
Bartender: "We have Molsons Canadian on tap."
Me: "Sure. How much is that?"
Bartender: "$8.00."
Me: "Ok. Here you are. What's the wifi password"
Bartender: "youneedtobuyadrinkfirst, no spaces and all
lowercase."
-<>-
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off
in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned
alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Hank?" the others asked.
"Hank had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back
up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Hank layin' out there and carried the deer back?"
they asked.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one's
gonna steal Hank!"
-<>-
My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market.
I went and looked around and couldn't find any.
So I grabbed a harassed and tired looking employee and said,
"These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed
with any poisonous chemicals?"
The produce guy looked at me and said, "No, sir, you'll
have to do that yourself."
-<>-
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you
hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is the vacuum on or off?"
-<>-
There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his
fingers. One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was
anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the
uncle to ask him and addition question. So they uncle asked,
"What is three plus four?"
The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven."
The uncle said, "Listen kid, you can't count it out on your
hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will
get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets."
So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle
asked, "What is five plus five?"
After a few moments of intense concentration the boy said,
"Eleven."
=========================================================
>-->From The Jokester:
_._
.' '. |
/ //\\\ \ |
( ( -\- ) ) |
'-\_=_/-' //
.-'\ /'-. (|/
/ '-' \ / /
| \__ __/_/\/ /|
| |\ / \ /
\ \ \ '-'
`\/\ ;
|/|\ |
| |
| |
| |
|_______|
| | |
\ | /
jgs /=|=\
(_/T\_)
A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female
teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about
thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see
the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decide
that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room
when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could
reach the urinal.
Having no other choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their
pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one- onto the
urinal.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually
well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher
said, "You must be in the 5th grade.
"No, ma'am," he replied, "I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the
4th but thanks for the lift."
-<>-
,
_.-"` `'-.
'._ __{}_(
|'--.__\
( ^_\^
| _ |
)\___/
.--'`:._]
jgs / \ '-.
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local
police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board,
of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a
picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."
Little Johnny asked, "So, why didn't you keep him when you took his
picture?"
-<>-
I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition.
My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 10-month-old nephew.
I said, "What do I do if he cries?"
She said, "Give him some vegetables."
It turns out that jalapeno is not his favorite.
=========================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
__
."` `;.
/ .---'. \
\| . . |/
( > )
\ -- /
__)----(__
/` <_\__/_> `\
/ : \
jgs | \ : | |
>Jury Duty
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the
definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional
killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate
influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as
when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'"
"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury
candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in
bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I
could have shot him."
-<>-
Somewhere in the deep south Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it
true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get
cancer?"
"Yes, Bubba. That's true," answered the lawyer.
"And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat
and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries - is that
true, mister lawyer?"
"Sure is, Bubba, but why do you ask?"
" 'Cause I was thinkin' - maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly
women I've been waken' up with."
-<>-
.::::,
{{{{{;}}}}
{{{{/ `}}}}}
{}}}}} _ _|
{{(`--(./-\.)
{| _\ |
| \ __ /
| '.__/
.'` \ |_
jgs '-__ / `-
>Mistakes Redefined
If an engineer makes a mistake,
It is a new venture!
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention!
If an explorer makes a mistake,
It's a new discovery!
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is an accident!
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law!
If a professor makes a mistake,
It is a new theory!
If a hairstylist makes a mistake,
It's a new style!
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion!
If parents make a mistake,
It is a new generation!
If the boss makes a mistake,
It is our mistake!
If an employee makes a mistake,
Now, *that* is a "MISTAKE!"
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit
Buy A Dog!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buyadog.html
Awww Animals!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals.html
Driftwood Horses!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/horses.html
Bambi & Thumper!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bambi.html
Why God Gave Us Pets!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gpets.html
Running Horses!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/runninghorses.html
Trucks!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trucks.html
Awesome Bikes!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/awesomebikes.html
Road Train Trucks!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/roadtrain.html
Liberty 2017 Elegant Lady RV!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv3.html
Big Happy Pet Family!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petfamily.html
Abandoned Chihuahua Boo!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boo.html
Water Rescue Dogs!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/waterrescuedogs.html
Ricochet The Surf Dog!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochet.html
My How You've Grown!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grown.html
Heroes Abroad!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/americanheroes.html
Sgt.Stubby War Dog Hero!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stubbywardog.html
Freedom Isn't Free!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html
9/11 And Troops INDEX!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html
Moms and Dads Index!
https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
If you love to see people dancing in the movies then I think you'll
enjoy this video edit featuring Laurel and Hardy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNS0Xqg-cj8
---
...Love It! Thanks LouiseAu!
Here's more...
Laurel & Hardy dance to The Rolling Stones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpV-VKu45nM
Dance of the cuckoos - Laurel & Hardy theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snnCKVFzjHE
The Wonderful Slapstick of Laurel and Hardy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tXQVekUZCI
Laurel and Hardy Best clips 4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY5GXPnvmr8
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"In Mexico, the world's heaviest man, who weighs almost
1,000 pounds, is preparing for surgery. The man said,
'After years of being unhappy with my appearance, I'm
finally getting that nose job.'" -Conan O'Brien
"A town in Texas just announced a controversial plan to
recycle toilet water and use it for drinking water. Dogs
said, 'How are you only thinking of this now?'"
-Jimmy Fallon
"New research suggests that people who are more ambitious
will live longer. While people who are less ambitious will
live longer with their parents." -Seth Meyers
"In Florida, a 10-year-old girl pried herself from the jaws
of an 8-foot alligator. Then the little girl remembered she
lives in Florida, and climbed back in." -Conan O'Brien
"Hey, I saw that today is National Teacher Day! Unless
you're home-schooled. Then it's Mother's Day: Part 2."
-Jimmy Fallon
"On this day in 1960, the FDA approved the world's first
commercially produced birth control pill. And on this day
in 1961, the first couple learned what 99.9 percent
effective means." -Seth Meyers
"Today was Star Wars Day, because the day was May Fourth,
as in 'May the fourth be with you.'' And now, it's
technically May Fifth, Cinco de Mayo, as in 'May the fifth
margarita be in you.'" -James Corden
"Scientists have developed a new kind of robot that is able
to shoot a gun. In fact, earlier today, I was carjacked by
my Roomba." -Conan O'Brien
"A couple in Michigan is being sued for $2 million after
they burned down their apartment complex while trying to
cook a squirrel with a blowtorch. I'm not an accountant,
but it SOUNDS like they might not have $2 million."
-Seth Meyers
It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.
-- Brigitte Bardot
At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no
path and leave a trail. -- Robert Frost
You know you're on a diet when cat food commercials make you hungry.
-- Andy Bumatai
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40
words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you
the same message also put up for all web site readers.
Email me to secure dates.
Ad Request
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-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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