Senior Texting Code And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hot tottie is from our friend Sharon. This one I found quite interesting so of course just had to do it up as a page to share with everyone. Give this time to load and turn up your sound - This may just surprise you too! .-"""-. _/-=-. \ (_|a a/ |_ / " \ ,_) _ \`=' /__/ / \_ .;--' `-. \___)// , \ \ \/; \ \ \_.| | | .-\ ' _/_/ .' _;. (_ \ / .' `\ \\_/ |_ / | |\\ / _) / / || jgs / / _/ / // \_/ ( `-/ || / / \\ .-. \_/ \'-'/ `"` Rarely Seen Africa! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/africa.html --- ...Wow! a Jaw Dropper! I had no idea! Thanks Sharon! Just shows how little I know about Africa! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: A man answers the phone and has the following || conversation: || || || "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Nancy || has been most difficult - I know I ought _______|| to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, /` `\ you know how she is." | .-"""-. | | / .:::. \ | "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember | \ ':::' / | you told me that she was a vile creature | '-----' | who would make my life miserable and you | .-"""""-. | begged me not to marry her." | |_______| | | [_][_][_] | "You were perfectly right. You want to | [_] [] [] | speak with her? All right." | [1][2][3] | | [4][5][6] | He looks up from the telephone and calls | [7][8][9] | to his wife in the next room, "Nancy, your | [*][0][#] | mother wants to talk to you!" | ... | jgs\ ':::' / `"""""""""` _ _ (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) Flight Or Fright As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shat- tered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. _._ /\\\\ Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man |. .| in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly \_-_/ walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered /` `\ mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, /_| |_\ courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, \_\___/_/ motioning toward his chest, whispers something into | | the boy's ear. Instantly the boy calms down, gently | | | takes his mother's hand and quietly fastens his seat |_|_| belt. jgs (__/__) All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?" The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars and battle ribbons and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose." ========================================================== +------------ BIZARRE JUNE HOLIDAYS ------------+ June 25 Log Cabin Day June 26 National Chocolate Pudding Day June 27 National Columnists Day June 28 Paul Bunyan Day June 29 Camera Day June 30 Meteor Day ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) 88888888888a a88888888888 8 YI IP 8 8 `8, ,8' 8 8 8I I8 8 8 8I I8 8 888 O 8I I8 O 888 8 8I I8 8 ,8 ,8' `8, 8, ,8' ,8I I8, `8, ,8' O ,8I' `I8, O `8, IP dP' `Yb YI 8' d8' `8b `8 8 I8 8I 8 8, I8, ,8I ,8 Yb O `8b, ,d8' O dP `8, `8b, ,d8' ,8' Yb `Yba adP' dP `8b `Yba,_ _,adP' d8' `Yb, `"YYbbddPP"' ,dP' `Yba O O adP' "Yba, ,adP" `"YbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadP"' `"YYba, ,adPP"' `""YYbbddPP""' (Norman Veilleux ?) This is truly your lucky day. For you are here to live it. This is a moment that is like no other. And it is here now, ready to be lived with all the fullness, all the richness you can imagine. What is the most beautiful, wonderful, positive and fulfilling thing that you can imagine? Dare to imagine it, and dare to begin living the reality of it. For today, your most treasured dream is not only a real possibility for you, it will truly begin to take shape. Today you can imagine the best, and today is the day to start living it. Though all sorts of obstacles may stand in your way, today there is nothing that can hold you back. For today you're able to fully experience the wondrous gift of life, with which anything is truly possible. Look deep inside, and you'll have no doubt that this is most certainly a moment like no other, filled with extraordinary possibilities. You'll surely find what it takes to live this moment for all it's worth. -<>- ..::''''::.. .:::. .;'' ``;. .... ::::: :: :: :: :: ,;' .;: () ..: `:::' :: :: :: :: ::. ..:,:;.,:;. . :: .::::. `:' :: .:' :: :: `:. :: '''::, :: :: :: `:: :: ;: .:: : :: : : :: ,:'; ::; :: :: :: :: :: ::,::''. . :: `:. .:' :: `:,,,,;;' ,;; ,;;, ;;, ,;;, ,;;, `:,,,,:' :;: `;..``::::''..;' ``::,,,,::'' >More Thoughts... Once you have smiled at someone you Can't take it back. Once you have held the tiny hand of a new Born child and the frail, weak hand of an elderly soul With his one last breath, you cannot possibly justify Wasting another moment of your own life. Life is not just a beginning and an end It is how you live it in between. Once you have stood on the edge of Mentally spent, physically exhausted, and Financially drained you have every right to say, "I quit!" But follow that by shouting "Now you take over God!" Then watch what He can do with Spent, exhausted and drained. Once you have seen a sunrise and a sunset , You know that God has kept His promise And has every day of your life. Have you kept yours? Once you have said "I will" then you must follow through. "I will" is your word, not a "maybe." Once you have more, You must give more to those who have less. Once you have anything, you must give thanks. Once you have nothing, you must give thanks, too. It's Not just in having that we should be grateful. Just Being alive is a gift, too. Once you have stood in awe looking at the stars you Realize how incredibly special you must be. For in all The universe there is only one "you." But realize that The universe is looking back in awe at you, too. All of God's creation is "Awe-some!" Once you have heard the old man tell the story for What seems like the "hundredth" time, be happy if he Lives to tell it to you a hundred more times. One day You will wish he were there to tell it again. Once you have faith, you can never give into the power Of doubt. Faith builds, doubt destroys. Once you have love, you always will... Love always and all ways! ~~Bob and Marianne Perks ~~Ralph Marston --- ...Wonderful Smiles! Thanks Bunni! =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) __,--"""""""""--,. _ -'" _\ ^-,_ ,-" _/ \_ , / \ \ ,' /_ | \ / _____,--""" / ) \ / / / ( | | / / ) | | / | \ ( (_/\ ) / \ \ \_ ____,====""" / | \ /" /"" | \_ _,-" |___,-'--------'" | "`------"" --" ,-' / / ---" / \___/ __,-----,___ ) \ ,--'"============""""-'" "-'" | |=================/ /___\===============/ -Joachim Hoffmueller- / |=============/" \ \_________,-" | | | | Jo. >Brain Study.... I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers . Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind. You can forget about Alzheimer's. 7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15. --- ...I think it is common but it is still cool! Thanks PatDeE! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) |\ | \ | ____________ ____________ | / O * maytag \ / O O maytag \ | |____________| |____________| | | ____________ || | | || ||| | | || ]||| | | /\ ____ || ||| | _______ | [| ||Tide|||____________||| | |#####| | __|__||____||______________||______________|__|#####|___| |#####| jro\ >Separated A father was reading the Bible to his little girl before bedtime one night. He was on the first chapter of Genesis. "In the beginning, the world was without form and void," the father read. "And God said, 'Let there be light.' And God separated the light from the dark." "I know what happens next!" the little girl exclaimed excitedly. "What happens next?" asked the father, smiling. The girl replied, "God did two loads of laundry!" --- ...TeeHee! Thnaks Brenda! -<>- /\/\/\ _/**\_ | \ / | / \ |__\/__| / \ | /\ |----------------------| /\ | | / \ | | / \ | |/ \| | / __ \ | |\ /| | | ( ) | | | \ / | | | (__) | | |__\/__| /\ | | | | /\ | /\ | / \ | |______| | / \ | / \ | |----| | | | | |----| |/ \|---------------| | | /| . |\ | | | |\ /| | | / | . | \ | | | \ / | | / | . | \ | |__\/__| | / | . | \ | | /\ |---------------|/ | . | \| | / \ | / NASA | . | NASA \ |/ \| (__________|______|___________) |/\/\/\| |____| |--|______|--| |____| -------------------------/ \-----/ \/ \-----/ \-------- \\// \\//\\// \\// \/ \/ \/ \/ unknown No wonder the Americans have financial problems; guess they thought they would never run out of money! When NASA first planned to send up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $1.2 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass, and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to +300 C. Confronted with the same problem, the Canadians used a pencil. --- ...LOL! Thanks Brenda! Yeah, and now NASA is supposed to make Muslims feel better by telling they had a part in it all. Obama is funny! -<>- _n_________________ |_|_______________|_| | ,-------------. | | | .---------. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | `---------' | | | `---------------' | | _ GAME BOY | | _| |_ ,-. | ||_ O _| ,-. "._,"| | |_| "._," A | hjw | _ _ B | `97 | // // | | // // \\\\\\ | | ` ` \\\\\\ , |________...______," >GAME: Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect. P N E S I People who wrote SPINE became doctors... The rest are all my friends... --- ...Oh my goodness! HaHa! Thanks Brenda! -<>- The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces. ~Maureen Murphy =============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From Our Friend PatDeE :) There's no way this so-called party can get too low. Next, they'll be telling undertakers to rob corpses before they're interred ! Oooops! I shouldn't be spreading ideas! - Pat The Obama event registry The information below is taken from Barry's website. Getting married? Tell the guests to donate to Barry instead of giving you a gift. Bar Mitzvah, Birthday, Graduation? Same thing. Sign up for the Obama Event Registry. Same as a wedding or any other event except you don't get the gift but you do get the absolute joy of knowing everyone you know thinks you are the most stupid person on Earth. No matter how low you go you can always look down on Barry. BTW - the last entry here is from Snopes who say it appears to be real. It's Barry's website. Think it might be a forgery? Been there a few days. Even his Adoration Society thinks this is too low. http://www.barackobama.com/news/entry/the-obama-event-registry --- ...LOL! Pretty low indeed! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From CowboyByte: UNREAL: Obama Congratulates Muslim Brotherhood http://tinyurl.com/7qpbjoe -<>- >From PatriotUpdate: Bad News for Obama http://tinyurl.com/88jhduv -<>- >From TheTeaparty: BIG SIS TO AZ: DROP DEAD! http://tinyurl.com/7f6eet9 -<>- >From AFA: Congress responds on religious liberty and action needed on the Supreme Court's FCC ruling http://tinyurl.com/6uc9gba -<>- >From BizarreNews: Ahhh...love. Love and condiments. Why does it never seem to work out? Take the example of this young couple in Massachusetts. 22-year-old college student John McGuinness and his girl- friend were returning from a bar when the woman received a text message from a man that McGuinness believed she slept with at school. The text provoked an argument that continued until the woman dropped McGuinness off at his home. As she was driving home the girlfriend got a text from McGuninness stating that he was going to throw out a $200 pair of jeans that belonged to her. Not wanting to lose the expensive item of clothing she drove back to his house. When she got there he came out to the driveway with her jeans covered in wasabi sauce and whipped her in the face with them, burning her eyes. He also stormed over to her car and squirted the sauce inside her vehicle. Why wasabi sauce is not made clear in the story. Maybe she hates Japanese cuisine. Whatever the reason, police were called and McGuinness was charged with three misdemeanors, including assault and battery "by dangerous sauce." I bet you didn't know that was even a thing. But that is small gyoza compared to Barbara Hall and her 45-year-old boyfriend. This Florida couple were in the throes of passion when the magic apparently dried up and Barb needed a little something to help "butter her muffin" for lack of a better phrase. So she did what any of us would do in that situation, she sent her boyfriend to the kitchen to fetch a bottle of olive oil, because nothing is sexier than Italian salad dressing, I guess. When he returned to the bedroom she asked him if he also brought the Pam. She was talking about the cooking spray (I would love to know what she was planning to do with that) but he thought she was referring to another woman he had had an affair with. That started a fight which ended with Barbara hitting her boyfriend over the head with the olive oil bottle. She was arrested for domestic battery. *-- Speeding blonde claims cop targeted her --* ABBOTSFORD, British Columbia - A Canadian woman stopped for driving more than double the speed limit in British Columbia alleges the officer targeted her because she's a blonde, police said. The unidentified woman was clocked driving 70 mph in a 30 mph zone in Abbotsford, southeast of Vancouver Sunday, The (Vancouver) Province reported Wednesday. Police Constable Ian MacDonald told the news- paper the woman's first defense was to go on the offensive by alleging the officer profiled and stopped her because she's blonde. "You couldn't make this up -- people would never believe it," MacDonald said. "If the officer was targeting blondes and had the ability to determine blonde, brunette and redhead at (70 mph), he deserves a commend- ation -- a hairdressing commendation." Despite her protests, British Columbia provincial law means an instant 7-day impounding of the woman's Lexus because she was doing more than double the posted limit, along with fines to be determined in court, the report said. *-- Mule-drawn wagon has GPS, toilet --* ZUMBRO FALLS, Minn. - A Minnesota couple who began traveling by mule-drawn wagon a few years ago said they are taking it on a cross-country trip. Warren and Mary Veien of Zumbro Falls said they will set out next week for a cross-country trip in their mule-drawn wagon, whose amenities include a GPS, a frontal brake system, a charcoal grill, beds, seats taken from pickup trucks and a Port-o-Potty, WCCO-TV, Minneapolis, reported Wednesday. "They always say a mule, if you can rub their forehead, then you can do most anything with 'em," Warren Veien said. He said the only thing his mules won't do is go near semi trucks, so they stick to traveling on gravel roads, away from the larger vehicles. The couple said they will be accompanied on their cross-country excursion by 25 other covered wagons forming a "wagon train." *-- Man crashes car, refuses to come out --* BRAAS, Sweden - A Swedish man who has remained in his vehicle for more than 48 hours following a crash resulted in police receiving calls about a corpse in a car. Braas emergency services said they received a call about a man crashing his car into a ditch around 3:30 p.m. Saturday and they discovered the car was stuck in the ditch and 37-year-old driver, who appeared to be uninjured, refused to exit the vehicle, Swedish news agency TT reported Monday. A police spokesman said there are no laws against sitting in a car following a wreck, provided police are allowed to carry out the necessarily post-incident tests and reports. "If he's not really drunk or intoxicated we can't bring him in," the spokesman said. Police said the man may continue to sit in his car until the results of his drug test come back in two weeks. The driver told TT he didn't want to leave the disabled car alone on the roadway for fear of vandalism. *-- Man sues state over deer attack --* MARIN COUNTY, Calif. - A California man is suing the state Department of Fish and Game, claiming a "mismanaged" wild deer attacked him, a court document shows. Thadeusz Wyrzykowski of Bolinas said in his handwritten court filing that he suffered injuries from falling into a window after deer jumped into his fenced yard last spring and "attacked me (twice) on a narrow path." Asking for unspecified damages, he wrote in his filing that the wildlife depart- ment "mismanaged negligently its animal its claims & duties." A case management conference was scheduled for Oct. 19 in Marin Superior Court, the Marin Independent Journal reported Monday. The newspaper said Wyrzykowski filed another handwritten lawsuit in federal court last year against the Marin County Assessor-Recorder's Office over the county's efforts to collect overdue property taxes from him, in which he described himself as an "in- dependent dignity ambassador" and "orator/scholar/artist." Deputy County Counsel Edward Kiernan called that suit full of "nonsensical, irrelevant non sequitors" and "legally meaningless and pointless facts." That suit was dismissed, the newspaper noted. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) _____ (Ut, oh.) O o . ()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()(( / )()(( | _ ()()_() ( _|__\ (_ \ ) @/ )| / ( __) ) / / \ _/ ) (_.,)\ ()) )_ ( | \_ \ \ / \ ( ' / ( __/ / ___) \___---'| \ gol >History Always Repeats Itself In 1887, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinborough, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior: "A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse over loose fiscal policy, (which is) always followed by a dictatorship." "The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence: >From bondage to spiritual faith; From spiritual faith to great courage; >From courage to liberty; From liberty to abundance; From abundance to complacency; From complacency to apathy; From apathy to dependence; From dependence back into bondage." Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline University School of Law in St. Paul, Minnesota, believes the United States is now somewhere between the "complacency and apathy" phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" phase. If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegal residents--and they vote--then we can say goodbye to the USA [in its present form] in fewer than five years. --- ...Lets hope and pray for the best! Thanks Johanna. -<>- _ , L\ \/OO\ |/ \ /_\ ` _\ |_ Arjen Pilon I ended up with an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom, are you still awake?' --- ...LOL! serves him right - Thanks Johanna! -<>- __..-\\\\ _ `\\\\\\\\\\ (_) `\\\\\\ _.\ O `\\\U\\ \ o `\\ \\\\~ _ | \\\\~~~ Staszek >an UP Love Story Ole & Lena lived by lake in Northern Minnesota . It vas early vinter and da lake had froze over. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to get him some smokes. She asked him for some money, but he told her, Nah, yust put it on our tab. So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home across the lake. Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, She asked him, Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da store. Why didn't you yust give me some money? Ole replied, Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I vasn't sure how tick the ice vas yet. --- ...LMAO! Oh brother! Thanks Johanna! -<>- .---. .---. ,';' `.';' `.. f :Bo. ` d88: `\ /d88P' `\ ; /d888P' `. ',d8&8P' : ;d8&7' | :8: | qx >Do you love Jesus? Milton was flying on a plane from Atlanta to Dallas. He happened to have the middle of the three seats on one side of the aisle. To his right, sitting next to the window, was a young girl who obviously had Down's syndrome. She began to ask him some simple but almost offensive questions. "Mister," she said, "did you brush your teeth this morning?" Milton, very shocked at the question, squirmed around a bit and then said, "Well, yes, I brushed my teeth this morning." The young girl said, "Good, 'cause that's what you're supposed to do." Then she asked, "Mister, do you smoke?" Again, Milton was a little uncomfortable, but he told her with a little chuckle that he didn't. She said, "Good, 'cause smoking will make you die." Then she said, "Mister, do you love Jesus?" Milton was really caught by the simplicity and the forthrightness of the little girl's questions. He smiled and said, "Well, yes, I do love Jesus." The little girl with Down's Syndrome smiled and said, "Good, 'cause we're all supposed to love Jesus." About that time, just before the plane was ready to leave, another man came and sat down on the aisle seat next to Milton and began to read a magazine. The little girl Milton again and said, "Mister, ask him if he brushed his teeth this morning." Milton was really uneasy with that one, and said that he didn't want to do it. But she kept nudging him and saying, "Ask him! Ask him!" So Milton turned to the man seated next to him and said, "Mister, I don't mean to bother you, but my friend here wants me to ask you if you brushed your teeth this morning." The man looked startled, of course. But when he looked past Milton and saw the young girl sitting there, he could tell her good intentions, so he took her question in stride and said with a smile, "Well, yes, I brushed my teeth this morning." As the plane taxied onto the runway and began to take off, the young girl nudged Milton once more and said, "Ask him if he smokes." And so, good-naturedly, Milton did, and the man said that he didn't smoke. As the plane was lifting into the air, the little girl nudged Milton once again and said, "Ask him if he loves Jesus." Milton said, "I can't do that. That's too personal. I don't feel comfortable saying that to him." But the girl smiled and insisted, "Ask him! Ask him!" Milton turned to the fellow one more time and said, "Now she wants to know if you love Jesus." The man could have responded like he had to the two previous questions -- with a smile on his face and little cchuckle in his voice. And he almost did. But then the smile on his face disappeared, and his expression became serious. Finally he said to Milton, "You know, in all honesty, I can't say that I do. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't know Him. I don't know how to know Him. I've wanted to be a person of faith all my life, but I haven't known how to do it. And now I've come to a time in my life when I really need that very much." As the plane soared through the skies between Atlanta and Dallas, Milton listened to the fellow talk about the brokenness in his life. Then he began a Bible study and explained how to become a person of faith. And he did all of that because a little girl with Down's Syndrome had asked him to ask the fundamental question that all Christians should be finding a way to communicate, "Do you love Jesus?" Stan Toler, Source:KneEmail at: www.forthright.net/kneemail/ --- ...Now that was heartwarming! Thank You Johanna! ================================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _______/_____ D'-. | / ) '(o)'-.....'(O)' ind As the owner of an old clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One day at the supermarket, just after I had filled my trunk with groceries, I noticed a stream of fluid pouring out of the bottom of the car. I knew I had to get home before the car was once again out of action. When I arrived I asked my husband to take a look at the pro- blem. Expecting the worst, I braced myself for his diagnosis. When he came back in, he was smiling. "It's apple juice," he said. -<>- A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a suspicious looking man in a black ski mask come hurling headfirst through the window. "What on earth are you up to? What happened?!" he demanded. "I'm terribly sorry," said the man, "I forgot to let go of the brick." -<>- /` |>18>> / | <- Did you hear of the accountant who added up his columns of numbers so oddly that he always ended with, "$79.25 plus a cat," or "$568.13 plus a cat," and so on? It seems he had an "add-a-puss" complex. -<>- Over dinner, Jill said to John, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" John asked, very concerned. Jill said, "Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car." -<>- A friend went to her doctor the other day, and the man was not very sympathetic with her aches and pains. "You'll just have to learn to live it," he said. When she got her bill for $90, she sent it back, with the notation, "You'll just have to learn to live without it!" -<>- ____ .-'& '-. / \ : o o ; ( (_ ) : ; \ __ / `-._____.-' /`"""`\ / , \ /|/\/\/\ _\ (_|/\/\/\\__) |_______| __)_ |_ (__ jgs (_____|_____) When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their names by noting they were the same as those of two characters in a popular children's story. After the services I stopped to talk to them, and as they were saying goodbye I teased, "Be careful going up that hill! But you must get that all the time." They smiled politely but said nothing. After they left, my wife asked, "What was that all about?" "Jack and Jill. Up the hill. Remember?" I said. "Yes, but what does that have to do with," she pointed to the couple, "Dick and Jane?" -<>- On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time." ============================================================ >-->From The Mouth: 0_ \`. ___ \ \ / __>0 /\ / |/' / / \/ ` ,`'--. / /(___________)_ \ |/ //.-. .-.\\ \ \ 0 // :@ ___ @: \\ \/ ( o ^(___)^ o ) 0 \ \_______/ / /\ '._______.'--. \ /| |<_____> | \ \__|<_____>____/|__ \____<_____>_______/ |<_____> | |<_____> | :<_____>____: / <_____> /| / <_____> / | I'm a little 'Cranky' /___________/ | | | _|__ | | ---||_ | |L\/|/ | | [__] | \|||\|\ | / jgs | | / |___________|/ ----------- Ways to Tell If You Have PMSS ----------- - Everyone around you has an attitude prroblem. - You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. - The dryer has shrunk every last pair oof your jeans. - Your husband is suddenly agreeing to eeverything you say. - You're dialing up every bumper stickerr that says, "How's my driving- call 1-800-###-####. - Everyone's head looks like an invitatiion to batting practice. - Inanimate objects get on your nerves. - You're counting down the days until meenopause. - You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. - The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yester- day. - You dump the pretzels out of the bag, and eat the salt. While simultaneously eating a gallon of ice cream. - You cry at commercials one minute, andd contemplate assault the next. -<>- ,,, .", )"/_-/,," _/,,""",," ,""_""``,\\|,, _//"(a) `| "\\\ _,..--""-""## ,`\ ||\\ `"''"'''''".,,__ .-`\ ///))) ,\ \\_/|))// ,'\,"_///"" | " / ,' / | | ctr ------------- Strange United States Lawss ------------- (from the book "Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton) In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted." In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time. In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic. In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an auto- mobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. In Hartford, Conn., you aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. In Baltimore, it's illegal to take a lion to the movies. In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. -<>- _, _ .' `. ___.>"''-..-. `-. ; .--""" .-._@; ; !_.--..._ .' / .[_@'`'. ; / : .' ; :_.._ `. : ; ;[ _T-" `.'-. `-. \ .-: ; `.`-=_,88p. _.}.-" `-.__.-' \ /L._ Y",P$T888; "" .-'_.-' / ;$$$$$$]8P; \ / / / "Y$$P" ^" fsc ;\_ `.\_._ ]__\ \___; -- Things You Wouldn't Know Without Helpp From the Movies -- 1. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. 2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade at any time of the year. 3. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor. 4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 5. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 6. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames. 7. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty. 8. All single women have a cat. 9. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. 10. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. 11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them. 12. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 13. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. 14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 15. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. 16. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. 17. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity. 18. If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath or shower. 19. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. -<>- ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw ----- Senior Texting Code ----- ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered By Medicare CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center DWI: Driving While Incontinent FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers FWIW: Forgot Where I Was FYI: Found Your Insulin GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low! GHA: Got Heartburn Again HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out LOL: Living On Lipitor LWO: Lawrence Welk's On OMMR: On My Massage Recliner OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas. ROFLCGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop TTYL: Talk To You Louder WAITT: Who Am I Talking To? WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again WTP: Where's The Prunes? WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil ============================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Who Is Rgus Jesus? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jesus.html Extreme Rednecks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eredneck.html Desert Skiing http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desertskiing.html Hot Air Balloons! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hotair.html Germany's Waldgeist Restaurant http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/germanyr.html Just Have Faith! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/faith.html Cano Cristales River http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cristales.html Classic Chevy Collection http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevy.html -<>- >From our Friend Bunni :) She sent us one we have here... Suryria And Roscoe http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/orang2.html --- ...Such a sweet one! Thanks for the reminder Bunni! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Radio or Jukebox hits and videos from the 40's to 1999 http://upchucky.org/ --- ...Wow! I love this site! New Fav! Thanks PatDeE Will be in the FUN URLS FOR SURE! SAME SITE - Animations: Don't Worry Be Happy! http://upchucky.com/flash-be-happy.html I believe In Angels http://upchucky.com/flash-believe-angels.html A Special Hug http://upchucky.com/flash-special-hug.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us one we have here... Finger Monkeys! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monkey.html --- ...So cute! Thanks for the reminder Linda! Quick Change http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mv84yiVLc4M --- ...Wow! Amazing! Fun To Watch! Thanks Linda! Bird lands on singer's guitar at a Bluegrass concert This is probably the best picture of nature at it's best. I so enjoyed this one - hope that you do too. Your grandkids would love this one. I don't think I could have kept my composure like he did.. I have always liked hearing birds singing in the mornings, and now there finally seems to be proof that birds can appreciate other kinds of music. This is fun to watch. About half way through in this song a little wild bird lands on the lead singer's guitar and watches the singer. The singer is then able to pet the wild bird. Put it on "full screen". It will be better to see the bird. The bird really looks straight at the singer. http://www.dogwork.com/blugrs9/ --- ...LOL! I think the bird likes country! Adorable! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Brenda :) When You Rise Above It All http://www.spiritisup.com/riseaboveitallrs.html --- ...Sweet! Thanks Brenda! This is the most beautiful video of the Rockies! It's well worth the 8 minutes. Done in HD...its out of this world. I hope you will enjoy as much as I have. The Great Canadian Rockies http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/4CMb7yj8Cyk?rel=0&%3bhd=1 --- ...Beautiful! Thank You Brenda! ================================================================ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "They say that kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray, which is a good thing to remember the next time you get lonely." -Fred Stoller "This week a man in Florida was arrested for hitting the manager of a Taco Bell in the face with a bag full of Tacos. Afterwards, the Taco Bell manager said, 'It's weird, my tacos usually don't attack me until I'm in the bathroom.'" -Conan O'Brien "Did you hear about the fan violence in Italy at soccer games? The fan violence in Italy at soccer games has gotten so bad, the teams are forced to play in empty stadiums. Empty stadiums! And so now, it's just like United States soccer." -Dave Letterman "I know the country has been mired in deficit spending and it's been terrible burden on the country in terms of interest payments. Good news today out of Washington. They have raised the limit of debt we can go to to $9 trillion. It sends a great message to the kids: Hey, are you getting an F? Don't study harder, make the grading curve go out to K. Then your F looks like a C." -Jon Stewart [2008] "Westminster Dog Show is the granddaddy of them all. It is the Oscars of dog shows. It's just like the Oscars, except the speeches are shorter and slightly less butt-sniffing." -Craig Ferguson "A homemade bomb was found in the bathroom of a Starbucks in San Francisco. Police defused the device, saving over $85 million worth of coffee. 100 people were evacuated from the Starbucks. They were taken to the Starbucks to two doors down." --Jay Leno "Food addicts are the people I feel sorriest for because that's really hard. You need to eat. You don't need to do drugs. Very hard for these people to quit. "I'm going cold turkey... mmmmm turkey. Do not think about food... do not think about food... do not... nuts..." -Craig Ferguson "According to a survey by nationwide mutual insurance, 2 percent of people actually shave while they're driving. They shave! How many guys would like to be in the car with those women?" --Jay Leno "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." - Henry David Thoreau "Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade?" - Benjamin Franklin "Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from." - Jodie Foster >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************