Separating Light From Dark And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com . . . . ,-,--. __| //``-, \ \_`\ )\a-a-? \ \ \_`(_=_/_-`__ \__, , \| | _ _,' ___7 ) | (_)(_`__(_,---' | ( _( ) | / /_| |________| __/__/__|__|_________) _________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! _ _ *"_"* *"_"* /_ `\ _..._ _..._ /`_`\ |/ `-.| .' '. .' '. ( / \ ) \^_^/ / \ , / ')\^_^/( __> <_/ \ , \`--' .--. (_.> <._)` '-' `\ .---. '--`/ jgs '.__.' '._/ \_/ \ \.' '.__.' "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ ______ '-._ ```"""---.._ ,-----.:___ `\ ,;;;, '-.._ ```"""--.._ |,%%%%%% _ , '. `\;;;; -\ _ _.'/\ .' `-.__ \ ,;;;;" .__{=====/_)==:_ || ,===/ ```";,,,,,,,;;;;;'`-./.____,'/ / '.\/ '---/ ';;;;;;;;' `--.._.' / ,===/ '-. `\/ '---/ ,'`. | ; __.-' \ ,' jgs \______,,.....------'''`` `---` >-->HAPPY BLESSED NEW YEAR! I Can Tell 2017 Is Gonna Be GREAT! :) *~* We Had An Awesome Month Last Month Of Caring And Sharing! .-""-. _______ .-""-. .'_.-. | ,*********, | .-._'. / _/ / **` `** \ \_ \ /.--.' | | **,;;;;;,** | | '.--.\ / .-`-| | ;//;/;/;\\; | |-`-. \ ;.--': | | /;/;/;//\\;\\ | | :'--.; | _\.'-| | ((;(/;/; \;\);) | |-'./_ | ;_.-'/: | | );)) _ _ (;(( | | :\'-._; | | _:-'\ \(((( \ );))/ /'-:_ | | ; .:` '._ \ );))\ " /(((( / _.' `:. ; |-` '-.;_ `-\(;(;((\ = /););))/-` _;.-' `-| ; / .'\ |`'\ );));)/`---`\((;(((./`'| /'. \ ; | .' / `'.\-((((((\ /))));) \.'` \ '. | ;/ /\_/-`-/ ););)| , |;(;(( \` -\_/\ \; |.' .| `;/ (;(|'==/|\=='|);) \;` |. '.| | / \.'/ / _.` | `._ \ \'./ \ | \| ; |; _,.-` \_/Y\_/ `-.,_ ;| ; |/ \ | ;| ` | | | ` |. | / `\ || | | | || /` jgs `:_\ _\/ \/_ /_:' `"----""` `""----"` ~I Am Pleased To Announce That We Added 3 New Shangrala Angels~ * Florence (Cloie) L. from NH * Thomas B. Cook from VA * M.D. And Pat Donovan from MO These people stepped up and gave a generous donation in December to help keep Shangrala Alive! They are indeed Our Sweet Angels! May God Bless Them Through Jesus Christ For Their Giving Hearts! *~* Please Visit And Share All Of Our Newest Web Pages :) Famous Movie Calendar! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moviecalendar.html Recycling Ideas! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/recycling.html Recycling Ideas 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/recycling2.html Got A Nanosecond 7? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano7.html Nanny Animals 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals4.html World's Coldest City! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coldestcity.html Christmas Miracle! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/miracle.html Naughty Christmas Pets! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmaspets2.html Christmas Quotes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasquotes.html New Night Before Christmas! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nightbefore.html Christmas With Cats 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmascats2.html -=====- -=====- _..._ _..._ .~ `~. .~` ~. ,_ / } { \ _, ,_\'--, \ _.'`~~/ \~~`'._ / ,--'/_, \'--,_`{_,} -( )- {,_}`_,--'/ '.`-.`\;--,___.'_ _'.___,--;/`.-`.' '._`/ |_ _{@} {@}_ _| \`_.' / ` |-';/ _ \;'-| ` \ / \ / | _ {@}_ | \ / \ / '--;_ _ {@} _Y{@} _;--' \ _\ `\ {@}\Y/_{@} Y/ /` /_ / |`-.___. / \Y/\|{@}Y/\|// \ .___,-'| \ ^^jgs^^`--`------'`--`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^`--`'------`--`^^^^^ *~* May God Bless All Our Sweet Contributors! They Give Us A Taste Of The 'Spice Of Life' With Their Forwards And Links! :) ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ,``'.' / \ \ \ / \ | | ''''''.| | | `````'` | | | /'''' - (| | | /'``` . | | | / ''''' / ./ / '```` / |/ / ''''`| \/ / ' |` / / / /| /| | / '. || | ) ++ | \ | | | | \ .. \ _/ \ ' ./ | / \ | \ \ | \ | | . | | | | | | | | | | | .| | / / | / / / | | / / | | / / | | ==/ | | | | ==/ | | / | \ | Pru | | V | | V Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf has for men. Mary: Tell me about it! I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked too many questions! Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask? Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions like, "Why did you hit the ball into the trees?" -<>- One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man: "Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. Here you have 100 francs for the favor. But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent, but no matters what I do or say you got to get me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?" So the ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs. Later as the man had said he fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt. He was so mad at the ticket man that he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man: "Are you stupid or something? I paid you 100 francs so that you wake me up in Mannheim. And you didn't, so I want my money back!" While the man was yelling at the ticket guy, two other guys that were also in the train were looking at them, so one turns to the other and says to him: Man 1: "Look at this guy! He is mad!" Man 2: "Yeah! He's almost as mad as the guy they made get out of the train in Mannheim." -<>- A family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a brand new house in a development nearby. Very early the next morning, their 3 year-old son ran in to the parent's bedroom to wake them up. The mother dressed him and told him to play in the yard. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!" -<>- ___ # /_,/\ |/ ? /" ( | , )\ .Y___ / /__/\ \____ \(__ ,- / \_/ \ / (\ |/| / < _____ _> \ |. ||\ -|.|--/___/ ,___/___\------'-----' '-' |\/ b'ger Finnegan: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it. Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time? Finnegan: Waitin' for me to come home. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 2 is Run up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day January 3 is Festival of Sleep Day, Fruitcake Toss Day and Humiliation Day January 4 is National Spaghetti Day and Trivia Day January 5 is National Bird Day January 6 is Bean Day and Cuddle Up Day January 7 is Old Rock Day January 8 is Bubble Bath Day and Male Watcher's Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: |\ | \ | ____________ ____________ | / O * maytag \ / O O maytag \ | |____________| |____________| | | ____________ || | | || ||| | | || ]||| | | /\ ____ || ||| | _______ | [| ||Tide|||____________||| | |#####| | __|__||____||______________||______________|__|#####|___| "I'm tellin ya, it's |#####| jro\ \\\\ true, Billy." )))) (///) / (((() \_/ /) \_/ / \\// // \\ \|__\/ \\_// ||\\ //\\ ||// (_)(_) (_)_) >Separating Light from Dark A father was reading the Bible to his young children before bedtime one night. He was on the first chapter of Genesis. "In the beginning, the world was without form and void," the father read. "And God said, 'Let there be light.' And God separated the light from the dark." "I know what happens next!" the little boy exclaimed excitedly. "What happens next?" asked the father, smiling. The boy replied, "God did two loads of laundry." -<>- >Charm School Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The first woman said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me." The second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice." The first woman continued "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive." Again, the second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice." The first woman boasted "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the second woman commented "Well, isn't that nice." The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" The second woman replied "My husband sent me to Charm School." "Charm School!" the first woman cried. "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?" The second woman responded, "So that instead of saying 'who cares?', I learned to say 'Well, isn't that nice.'" -<>- ,(. ( ) `"' >Fruitcake Recipe #1 1. Go to the crafts store. 2. Purchase one or more bags of dried fruit, some plaster of paris, brown paint and a disposable cake pan. 3. Return home. 4. Unwrap the dried fruit, carefully folding the wrapper inside-out and placing it at the bottom of your trash can. Better yet, send it through your personal paper shredder and use it for insulation in the attic. 5. Mix the plaster of paris with water and pour into the disposable cake pan. Place dried fruit on top, gently pushing in so it looks "baked" in the "batter." Let dry. 6. Take your "fruitcake" out of the disposable cake pan. 7. Cover the top, bottom and sides with brown paint, avoiding the fruit. 8. Wrap your "fruitcake" in festive, colored saran wrap and finish with a bow. I like using red wrap because it gives a warm glow to the "fruitcake." 9. Give your "fruitcake" to someone you want to impress. When they lift it, they'll say, "Wow! You must have made a really rich fruitcake!" Don't forget to smile and say, "Oh, its Paris- style fruitcake." 10. Don't worry about someone trying to eat your fruitcake. Nobody actually eats fruitcake ... that's just a rumor. Just so you know, the dried fruit won't go "bad" because it has the same preservatives as Twinkies, which have a shelf-life of about 237 years. -<>- >Fruitcake Recipe #2 (In case you read yesterday's post and want to make another fruitcake) Items Needed: 4 Oz. Fruit Bits 4 Oz Dried Raisins 1 Railroad Tie Wood Saw Large Rubber Mallet Safety Goggles WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES. (Children: Get help from an adult!) 1. Cut a one-foot section from the middle of your railroad tie. The resulting block of wood should be the size and shape of a loaf of bread. 2. Take the fruit bits and raisins (five-year-old dried raisins are preferred) and pound them into the block with your rubber mallet. Spread the colors around, or you might wind up with an ugly fruitcake. Don't be afraid to throw some elbow grease into that mallet! Good fruit bits and dried raisins should be much harder than the railroad tie, so you can't break anything. 3. For best result, you should pretreat the fruit bits by setting them on top of your garage for a year (or by microwaving them on HIGH for 30 minutes). 4. Finally, cover it tightly in plastic wrap, and decorative paper with a lovely bow on top and give your loved ones the timeless and enduring gift of fruitcake! WHO EVER EATS FRUITCAKE ANYWAY? (Please don't send me email about this ... my wife loves fruitcake. But then, she's fond of me, too. Hmmmm.......) ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) _______________________________ __________________________ / \ / \ | The world is a giant cake Ann / | Just waiting to be eaten! | \_________________________ / | _______________________/ \ /_______\ / __....----''\./ | `````----....__ _-''' o o ```-_ .' \T/ /A\ `. |`-_ _/ \_ / \ _-'| | ```--....____ ____....--''' | | `````-----------''''' | |-__ __-| | ~~~--________ ________--~~~ | | ~~~~~-----------~~~~~ | |-__ __-| | ~~~--________ ________--~~~ | | ~~~~~-----------~~~~~ | `-_ _-' ```--....____ ____....--''' `````-----------''''' Smiley 8P >TOP 10 USES FOR HOLIDAY FRUITCAKES: 10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table. 9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino. 8. Send to US Air Force, let troops drop them. 7. Use as railroad ties. 6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers. 5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins. 4. Use instead of cement shoes. 3. Save for next summer's garage sale. 2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition. 1. Two words: pin cushion. -<>- >Fruitcake A fruitcake came one day And I sent it on its way. The next day, then, It was back again, But here it cannot stay. I sent it to one brother, Who sent it to another. It eventually Came back to me, In a package from my mother. I sent it to a friend At least, he was til then. He sent it back With a caustic crack And we never spoke again. I sent it to my boss And signed it Santa Claus. My name he guessed And readdressed That spice-baked albatross. I sent it to a client, Who proved to be defiant: It seems the space In his office place Is fruitcake noncompliant. I picked someone at random In hopes that he could stand em. It was returned: Somehow he'd learned I was the Fruitcake Phantom. If a fruitcake comes today, I think I'll let it stay. It's crystal clear Its place is here And I must move away. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! |\ /| |\ /| | \ / | |\\ //| | | | | | \| |/ | \ | | / \ || || / \ |_| / \||_||/ .' '. .' '. | | |o o| / \ /= Y =\ `'-. .-'` `'-.^.-'` _| |_ _| |_ /` `\ /` `\ | / \ | | | |/ \| | ( ) | / \ /\ \ / /\ | .-~-. | | '._)_.' | \ { } / \ / jgs \ '-=-' / \ '.___.' / .--' ;---; '--. .--' \---/ '--. `-------' '-------` `-------' '-------` My mom would always give us kids a fruitcake for Easter. When we were adults we asked her why she gave us that. She told us it was because it always lasted us so long. We told her that it lasted so long because we didn't like it! Now I have something like Easter Post Traumatic Stress because I MUST GET A Chocolate Bunny as the treat I had always wanted but never got for Easter. -<>- ///........./|\.........\\\ //// : ||| : \\\\ \\'''''':''''|||'''':''''''// \\`. . ||| . .'// \\\`. . ||| . .'/// \\\\`. . ||| . .'//// \\\\\`. .|||. .'///// Diamonds are a '\\\\\`.|||.'/////' women's best friend... '\\\\\\|||//////' '\\\\\|/////' .:::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::'''''''''::::::::. .::::::'' ''::::::. ::::::'' '':::::: ::::::' ':::::: ::::::' ':::::: ::::::' ':::::: :::::: :::::: :::::: :::::: :::::: :::::: ::::::. .:::::: ::::::. .:::::: ::::::. .:::::: ::::::.. ..:::::: '::::::.. ..::::::' '::::::::........::::::::' '::::::::::::::::::::' ''::::::::::::'' jgs >SMILES Gina was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?" "Aha, you'll know tonight," answered Max smiling broadly. At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Gina and handed her a small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: "The Meaning of Dreams." -------- A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. "Tell me," queried he, "if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do you intend to do with your life?" The inmate replied, "It would be wonderful to get back to real life and, if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you know, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped put me here. "If I am released, I shall confine myself to work in pure theory, where I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful." "Marvelous," remarked the head of the institution. "Or else," ruminated the inmate, "I might teach. There is something to be said for spending one's life in bringing up a new generation of scientists." "Absolutely," acquiesced the head. "Then again, I might write. There is considerable need for books on science for the general public. Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences in this fine institution." "An interesting possibility," stated the head. "And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be a teakettle." -------- A young redhead goes into the doctor's office and tells him that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. The doctor asks, "You’re not really a redhead, are you?" "No," she answers, "I’m actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor responds. "Your finger is broken." -------- The pastor shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!" The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said, "Now, now, Carolyn, don't carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me." "Yeah," she countered, "That's what they said the last time, too!" -------- He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backward; forward then backward; again and again. Back and forth, back and forth, in and out, a little to the right, a little to the left, she could feel the sweat on her forehead, and trickling down the small of her back. She was getting near the end. Her heart was pounding, her face was flushed, she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted, "OK, OK, I can't parallel park, YOU do it, smarty pants." -------- A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument; neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "My in-laws." --- ...LOL! Good ones! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) >I Knew it! I Knew it! I knew it!! _---~~(~~-_. _{ ) ) , ) -~~- ( ,-' )_ ( `-,_..`., )-- '_,) ( ` _) ( -~( -_ `, } (_- _ ~_-~~~~`, ,' ) `~ -^( __;-,((())) ~~~~ {_ -_(()) `\ } { } Brains of elderly slow because they know so much. The brains of older people only appear to slow down because they have so much information to compute, much like a full-up hard drive, scientists believe. Elderly people have so much information in their brain that it takes longer for them to access it, scientists believe Elderly people have so much information in their brain that it takes longer for them to access it. Older people do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full up, so to do humans take longer to access information, it has been suggested. Researchers say this slowing down it is not the same as cognitive decline. “The human brain works slower in old age,” said Dr. Michael Ramscar, “but only because we have stored more information over time. The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.” --- ...Hey, that's our story and we're sticking to it! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) >On Aging ()___ ()//__/)_________________() ||(___)//#/_/#/_/#/_/#()/|| ||----|#| |#|_|#|_|#|_|| || ||____|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|#||/|| jgs || |#|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|| "Good friends are like quilts-they age with you, yet never lose their warmth." I am forwarding this to those on my Seniors email list because it is so well written. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s, 60s & 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, I remember the important things. Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it). MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! Forward this to at least 7 people, and see what happens on your screen. You will laugh your head off! --- ...HaHa! A Sweet One! Thanks Linda! -<>- _,._ .--. __.' _) / ,~p`-, <_,)'.-"a\ __/) \ \_.-"` /' ( \ __/` /) ) ( _.-----..,-' (`"--^ | d '-,.------. '`) ,/ ."\ // | `"-.__,' \-' / ( | (| `; , | | , ,` | / ) ; \ ;.----/ ,/ \, \----.; / / / / ) // / | |\ \ / ) ) `\ \\ ( ,/_."` /` \ \\`\ | |/ / / / / / // / /_)\ |___ \ \\ \ | |\/ "`=` "``=` ` '~~~~~` `" `" `"` ___ ,_) ____) ,_) ____) (-|_\ |_/ (-| _,,_,_,|_ (-(__ ',_ _ _| \(_|| \ _|__(_|| | ||_) ____)(_|_)|| |(/_ ( \_, ( |_, ( |_, .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. >Happy New Year! Another year has passed And we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter And winter seems much colder. There was a time not long ago When life was quite a blast. Now I fully understand About 'Living in the Past' We used to go to weddings, Football games and lunches. Now we go to funeral homes And after-funeral brunches. We used to have hangovers, From parties that were gay. Now we suffer body aches And while the night away. We used to go out dining, And couldn't get our fill. Now we ask for doggie bags, Come home and take a pill. We used to often travel To places near and far. Now we get sore bottoms From riding in the car. We used to go to nightclubs And drink a little booze. Now we stay home at night And watch the evening news. That, my friend is how life is, And now my tale is told. So, enjoy each day and live it up... Before you're too darned old! Hope you all have a happy, healthy & prosperous 2017! --- ...HaHa! Amen! And You Too Linda! Thanks! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw From MRC: http://em.mrc.org/NB00eRdK0004qTS0PL8060Y From RightAlerts: http://rightalerts.com Kerry Tells Israel To Pick Being Democratic Or Jewish — ‘It Cannot Be Both’ http://tinyurl.com/hsqdngc Maria Carey New Years Meltdown, Live On Stage http://eheadlines.com/maria-carey-new-years-meltdown-live-on-stage/ This is what we have to Thank 'Black Lives Matter'... BREAKING: Navy Sailor REFUSES To Stand For National Anthem – Navy Responds Harshly And Liberals FREAK http://tinyurl.com/zcktv2n Comedian DL Hughley’s racial ‘joke’ about Debbie Reynold’s death crosses the line for just about everyone http://tinyurl.com/zfvsw83 --- ...Just a note on DL Hughley's tweet... First off - STOP CALLING GOD A KILLER!!!!!! God Does NOT Kill. People who die of natural causes die due to their body giving out or by influence from the devil with sickness and disease. The Author of premature death is Satan. The bible clearly tells us that death is an enemy: 1 Cor.15: [26] The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. Our God is NOT our enemy so it is NOT God causing people to die. Mark 12: [27] He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living: God wants people ALIVE not dead. Secondly - QUIT Dividing us into black and white! We all grieve for the loss of our loved ones! To say black moms are more used to loosing their children is ridiculous! Nobody could possibly be used to loosing a child! It is horrific for a parent to go through the death of their child - no matter what race you are! We need to unite and support each other more during times of evil not divide us further with such callous racist statements. This Vet tells Obama like it is: http://tinyurl.com/h88835m From Billy Graham... 2016: Year in Pictures - See what God has done this year. http://tinyurl.com/hhgedqw -<>- >From BizarreNews: Who would have expected this kind of behavior from a topless hair stylist? It was discovered that a woman who gives haircuts while topless is married to two men at the same time, according to police in Colorado. Boulder County police said that they have arrested 48-year-old Suzette Ann Hall, after she married a second man while already being married. Hall has been charged with bigamy and two counts of violating bond. If convicted, she faces up to 18 months in prison. She was booked into the Boulder County Jail, and her bail has been set at $20,000. According to the criminal complaint, Hall is married to at least two men and is having another relationship with a third man. Hall was caught after submitting a recent marriage application in which she claimed that her former husband died. Police also received a call from one of the husbands who was trying to annul his marriage to Hall. Another husband told police that Hall had moved to Wyoming to run a brothel and a business called Five Star Hair. Hall became famous for giving haircuts while being topless. In an unrelated case, Hall has also been charged with practicing cosmetology and massaging without a license. -<>- I have always wanted to visit San Diego. There are so many amazing things to see there like the USS Midway Museum, the University of San Diego, the famous Balboa Park, the naked women discharging firearms. This last attraction is a more recent addition. A woman who fired a gun at her neighbors has been arrested by police after a nine hour standoff that included the SWAT team being called to her San Diego apartment and her standing topless in front of her shattered windows. Police were first called to 35-year-old Brittany Lefler's apartment on Beadnell Way around midnight after numerous neighbors complained about the noise coming from her home. Officers left her home once she quieted down, but around 5am, she was reportedly spotted walking around with a handgun as she allegedly threatened the neighbors who she believed called the police on her. 'She ran back into her apartment and our suspect fired at least one round through the door in the apartment,' the San Diego Police Department reported. When police officers arrived back to the scene, Lefler did not come out of her home and refused to do so. A SWAT team was then called in around 8am to take position and prepare to enter her home if needed. Lefler stayed inside of her apartment for the next nine hours, as she did not follow directions from officers to exit unarmed so she could be arrested. At one point, Lefler went to her window topless as the situation continued to unfold. But around 2pm, she finally came out of the apartment with her hands up and was placed in handcuffs by SWAT team members. *-- World Record 150 Santas Tandem Parachute --* More than 100 Australians participated in a series of tandem parachute jumps while dressed up as Santa Claus. The 150 Santas added the holiday twist to their Guinness World Record attempt for "Most tandem parachute jumps in eight hours." The stunt was part of experience gift retailer RedBalloon Christmas marketing campaign to raise funds for children's cancer charity Camp Quality. In addition to claiming the new tandem parachute jumping record, the event managed to raise a total of $5,000. "We loved being a part of this very special Guinness World Records event and it was great to see the smiles on the faces of our Camp Quality families," Camp Quality Regional Manager Sonia Cameron said. In 2015 RedBalloon gathered 320 Australians dressed as Santa Claus to break the record for the largest surfing lesson. *-------- Do You Want Fries with That? --------* A nurse having lunch with her mother at a McDonald's in Florida ended up helping to deliver a baby boy in the eatery's bathroom. April Jones, whose mother works as a cashier at the McDonald's on Tamiami Trail in Sarasota, said she met her mother at the store for lunch when she heard a call for help. "A man came out of the bathroom screaming, 'she's pregnant! She's pregnant!'" The man was Sean Jordan, and his wife, Cathy Jordan, was giving birth in the restaurant's bathroom. Cathy Jordan said she was surprised to go into labor during what she thought would be a normal trip to the bathroom. "I felt the baby's head. This scream came out of me came, from my toes, quite the scream. The whole restaurant heard it. Somebody in the other stall asked if I was ok I said 'No I'm having a baby,'" Jones said she placed the mother on two jackets and the baby came quickly. "It all happened very fast," Jones said. "She pushed, then pushed again and the baby was out. At first, he was blue and not breathing. That's when the paramedics came." "By that time, the baby breathed like he was a fish out of water," Jones said. "He's perfect -- 10 fingers, 10 toes, beautiful dimples. He's got a full head of hair," Cathy Jordan said of newborn Parker, who weighed in at 5 pounds and 9 ounces. *-------------------- Irony --------------------* A conservative columnist who often wrote criticisms of gun control for the Portland Press Herald has been accidentally shot and killed by a teenage boy. Maine State Police and Sanford police are investigating the shooting death of Portland Press Herald columnist M.D. Harmon at his home in Sanford. Harmon worked for Portland, Maine newspapers for over forty years. In a 2013 column, he railed against proposed gun control legislation writing, "But the absolute worst part of the bill is that it would require all gun buyers to take a firearm safety course." The unidentified teenaged boy and his father had been visiting Harmon in his home when Harmon allowed the teenager to handle one of his guns. The gun went off and killed him. --- ...Considering the lack of common sense in our PC world now, it makes perfect sense to me for the government to step in and make people do what they should already know they should do. Again, the government teaches us to be stupid with PCness and then has to be the nanny state and make sure we do what is the smart correct thing with more government control and laws. Crazy Democrat way! Thank God we'll be getting rid of the Political Correct way of life! +-Idiots Tackle Sub-freezing Temps to Surf Lake Michigan-* A pair of especially dedicated surfers were filmed showing their devotion to the sport by braving sub-freezing temperatures to tackle the waves of Lake Michigan. The video, filmed earlier this month by Derek Utley, shows two surfers riding the waves at Bradford Beach in Milwaukee. The video shows one of the surfers manage to get upright and ride a massive wave. Utley said the temperature when he filmed the video was only 29 degrees and snow was falling heavily with 8 inches of accumulation already on the ground. --- ...BEWARE... When I see folks braving the cold water for Polar Bear Swims or some other winter water adventure, I am saddened by the remembrance of my husband's young brother who died in summer while going fishing. He was a good swimmer but they said he suffered cold-water shock and died when he accidentally fell into the neighbors pond he had gone fishing at that day. I had never heard of it before. See this video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqUfCq7eInc More Info here: Also called laryngospasm reflex, the cold shock can prevent you from breathing. Your larynx closes the airway and essentially causes asphyxiation; you suffocate since you are not able to breathe. http://www.backcountrysafaris.com/info/hypothermia.php ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) _ ///-._ ////////-._ /////////////-. ////////////////`. //////////////// .'`. //////////////// . '.'`. '|`'//////////// . .'.::|` : `'/////// . '.':| | . . `'// ' _|- ::| |. .-._ . | . | .':: | |:|:| | ' ' '.::| | |:|:| :. . .'.':| | . |:|:| . | .._.::: : `':| | ' ////-:| |. . | '/////////-._ | . . : .//////////////-._ : : ///////////////////-._ |. |////////////////////////-._ | . . :`'//////////////////////////-._ | . _.-\\\\``'//////////////////////////-._ | /\\\\\\\\..``'//////////////////////////". : . . /. \\\\\\\\\. .``'///////////////////// .'`. : / _ \\\\\\\\\. ``'//////////////// . .'`. | . / (@) \\\\\\\\\. . . ``'/////////// . '.'::|. {`)._ '| _` .\\\\\\\-`:|#| . . ``'////// '. .'.:| `-{_/`| ||::. \\'`.:|:.|#| |#| . ``'/ ' .##:'::: `-| ||||| |`.'::|::|#| |#| |#| . . '| . .|##|'.:| pils | ||||| : .'::|:.'#| |#| |#| |#| | |##|'::| | ||||| .| .'.:|::.'' '#| |#| |#| . : ' |##|'.:| {`\:|||| : .'::|:_.:. . '#| |#| | .|##|'::: `-{_/'|_ |_.-'/}_/'-._ '#| :. |##:'.:| `'{._('}_)-' `-}_}(-._ . . | ' '` .'::| `-' `-.} /-._ . : .'.'_:-'\ `-}_}(-._ | . _.-')_(-' `-/_)`-.:.-{ \{-' `-{_'_)-'' ^ >Church SMILES A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means? The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' -<>- There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady. -<>- "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good gracious, it's morning." -<>- A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation." -<>- There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." -<>- While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust." -<>- A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven.." -<>- A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business." -<>- People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention. -<>- Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming." -<>- The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! -<>- When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it, he collapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints..... When he sees that you are living what you read, he flees..... And when you are about to forward this message.... He will try and discourage you.. I just defeated him!!! Any other takers? --- ...TeeHee! Absolutely! Thanks Bunni! ============================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: ((" ") <)) <\(> '\| |\ ________/|______| \_________ kOs Getting back together with an old boyfriend is pathetic. It's like having a garage sale and buying your own stuff back. -<>- Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other's case. The first judge took the bench while the second stood at the defendant's table, and admitted his guilt. The sentencing judge immediately suspended both the fine and costs. They switched places. The second judge admitted that he was speeding, too. Thereupon the first judge immediately fined him $250 and ordered him to pay court costs. The second judge was furious. "I suspended your fine and costs, but you threw the book at me!" he fumed. The first judge looked at him and replied, "This is the second such case we've had in here today. Someone has to get tough about all this speeding!" -<>- Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin. One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel. Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it on. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Well" he replied, "if you are going to be formal. So am I." -<>- _ .=(" //w> ._")_, '( |` _(/ ________ /_|___ \ L _ kOs/a:f My girlfriend likes to role-play. For the past four years, she's been playing my ex-girlfriend. -<>- Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?" Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!" The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round. Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!" Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?" -<>- .-=-. ////"\\ .=. ( 6 6 ) //"\\ \ - / (/6 6\) _.) (._ )\ = /(-` `:` `\ _(_ ) ( _)-| : |\ \ (_/ `\_/` \ | : |/ / / (_ @ _) \\_ : _/ / \ \)___(/ / |===|_) \/`"""`\/ | L | | | | | | | | | | | |_____| | | | ||| | | | ||| | | | ||| |_|_| jgs / Y \ / T \ `"`"` `"`"` We had a power outage last week and my computer, TV, and games console shut down immediately. It was raining hard and I couldn't play golf either so I just talked to my wife for a few hours. Seems like a nice person. -<>- My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you." -<>- When my daughter was about 9-years-old I became pregnant again. Of course, she wanted to know how it happened, so I gave what I considered an appropriate explanation of the process. She asked, "Did you do that to get me?" I said "yes," and she responded, "And you did it again?" -<>- Since spaghetti is now 'pasta' and a TV set is a 'home entertainment system,' the manager of my grocery store did his best to jazz up the lowly egg. He still has some work to do. A sign he put up in the dairy section advertised "Boneless Chicken." -<>- .-------. |Jackpot| ____________|_______|____________ | __ __ ___ _____ __ | | / _\ / / /___\/__ \ / _\ | | \ \ / / // // / /\ \\ \ 25| | _\ \/ /___/ \_// / / \/_\ \ []| | \__/\____/\___/ \/ \__/ []| |===_______===_______===_______===| ||*|\_ |*| _____ |*|\_ |*|| ||*|| \ _ |*|| ||*|| \ _ |*|| ||*| \_(_) |*||*BAR*||*| \_(_) |*|| ||*| (_) |*||_____||*| (_) |*|| __ ||*|_______|*|_______|*|_______|*||(__) |===_______===_______===_______===| || ||*| _____ |*|\_ |*| ___ |*|| || ||*|| ||*|| \ _ |*| |_ | |*|| || ||*||*BAR*||*| \_(_) |*| / / |*|| || ||*||_____||*| (_) |*| /_/ |*|| || ||*|_______|*|_______|*|_______|*||_// |===_______===_______===_______===|_/ ||*| ___ |*| | |*| _____ |*|| ||*| |_ | |*| / \ |*|| ||*|| ||*| / / |*| /_ _\ |*||*BAR*||*|| ||*| /_/ |*| O |*||_____||*|| ||*|_______|*|_______|*|_______|*|| |lc=___________________________===| | /___________________________\ | | | | | _| \_______________________/ |_ (_____________________________________) When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says..."If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800- GAMBLER." So, I call them and say, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?" -<>- Before I could enroll in my company's medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance. One question asked, "Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room within the next three months?" -<>- Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'" "It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten." -<>- Students at school were asked to write about the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead." ========================================================= >-->From Laugh And Lift: , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' >"News Alert: Be Very Afraid!" (By Steve Brown) [Edited] I may have told you before but, for a short period of time, we had a Playboy icon on one of our websites. It was kind of jarring to the Christians who saw it. If you clicked on that icon, do you know what happened? No, no, no. We wouldn't do that! If you clicked on that icon, you ended up at the main website of Campus Crusade for Christ with an opportunity to hear a plan of salvation. I would have left it there, but Jesus made us take it down. I think he said something about the ends not justifying the means and that dishonesty-no matter the result-was not a good thing. I've been thinking about the people who came to our website, saw the Playboy icon and clicked on it. What a surprise! I wish I could have seen their faces. Surprise! It wasn't what they expected. Something else was going on... Are you worried? I am. Over the last few months on our talk show, we have interviewed a whole lot of people about the economy, the war, the environment, world poverty, politics, etc....and the general impression is that "we're all gonna die!" It's bad and it's going to get a lot worse. There is a wonderful story in 2 Kings 6. The king of Syria was at war with Israel. Israel, though, had a powerful "secret weapon" in Elisha the prophet who kept warning Israel of the troop movements of Syria. The king of Syria was ticked and sent a large army to take out Elisha. When Elisha's servant got up in the morning and went out, he saw the great Syrian army, panicked and then ran to Elisha, only to find Elisha calm, cool and collected. Elisha said to his servant that he should chill out because "those who are with us are more than those who are with them" (vs. 16). The servant looked around. And it was only the two of them. It was then, I expect, the servant figured that he was following a crazy man. Elisha prayed, "Lord, show him." The text says: "So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha" (vs. 17). If you're worried, there is plenty to worry you. You could lose your job, you could lose your house, you could become homeless, or you could get cancer from the carcinogens everywhere. The economy could tank. And if that doesn't happen, you could freeze to death from global freezing (Newsweek 1975), be cooked to death from global warming (Newsweek 2007) or starve to death from global famine (Newsweek 2006). The "all news-all the time" news channels pound us 24/7 with "news alerts" that tell us to be afraid...be very afraid. Well, I'm tired of it...and I'm not going to take it anymore. I've asked God to remind me about the armies. In order to see the armies, you have to know the Commander of the armies "for from him and through him and to him are all things" (Romans 11:36). That would be pretty scary except for the joyous words of John 1: "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth...from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace..." (vs. 14,16) and "to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God" (vs. 12-13). During every election, someone says, "It's the economy, stupid!" I don't even remember who first said that...but they are quite wrong. It's not the economy, or the war, or terrorists, or the fearsome specter of death and destruction. It's about God, stupid! It really is. Behind the surreal news, the surmise of "experts" who don't know what they are talking about any more than we do, the silly atheists who say that we're on our own, and the shallowness of what everybody says is important...there is a Commander of the armies who rules, sustains and works all things according to his will. If you forget about the Commander, it will drive you nuts. But there's more than that. If you want to see the armies of God, you have to thank him for them. Paul said to the Ephesians-whose situation was seemingly even more perilous than ours-that they ought to continue with their lives, "singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 5:19-20). Giving thanks for everything? Does that mean...? Yeah, that! That, of course, doesn't mean I'm going to necessarily like the way God works it out for me personally, for the nation of which I'm a citizen, or for the world. I've often told him that, if I were him, I would do it differently. But he has the armies and I don't. He's my Lord and the Commander. But there is one other thing about "seeing the armies." You not only have to know the Commander and trust him in what he does, you've got to act on the reality of the truth that has been revealed. In Matthew 8, Jesus gets together a bunch of ragged, sinful, needy and confused followers. (I always thought he could have done better in his choices...but then I remember that I'm one of his weird choices too.) One of his "choices" says that he will follow Jesus, but he needs to bury his father. It seems reasonable until one realizes that his father isn't dead yet... not even close. So his "excuse" was an option to run. Then Jesus says something that will haunt you if you think about it much: "Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead" (vs. 22). You can't let the dead bury the dead unless there's something better than the cemetery... ...and there is. So I have this list where I ask myself what I would do, how I would act and what I would think if the Commander of the supernatural armies were my Lord and if I trusted him to do it right. Then I act on the truth that I know. I still get scared and listen to the wrong voices on occasion. I still, as it were, "click on the Playboy icon." But in my finer moments, Jesus comes and prays for me. He says to the Father: "Father, show him!" That's when I see the armies. He'll do that for you too. He asked me to remind you. In His Grip, Steve Brown --- ...My Two Cents... This is a great teaching! Reminds me of when I was praying for the Christians of America to have wisdom under Our Commander and Chief - Christ Jesus, to vote according to God's Will! Love how God made it all turn out good for us! -<>- /())) //( oo (/|| _ \__ /||||/ '._-' / \ |\ / \ \ \_____ | \ \.___ /==, | ='.___/=. | ) '.______ | (______( | || snd |_|| _/ | |_\ '---'--' >Quick Jokes "Dad, will you help me with my homework?" "I'm sorry," replied the father. "It wouldn't be right." "Well," said the boy, "at least you could try." --------- I was hitchhiking the other day, and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks - I'm not going that far." ---------- A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed. Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out. She smiled. "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half of it!" _SUBSCRIBE INFO_ Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Detroit Steel!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/detroitsteel.html Big Boy Toys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigboytoys.html Menu Bloopers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menubloopers.html 50s Concept Car!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/conceptcars.html Morons at Work!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork.html Maxine Humor 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinehumor2.html All Occasion Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/allcar.html Men Will Be Boys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html Detroit Autorama!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/detroitauto.html Extreme Rednecks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eredneck.html Life's Little Oops 11!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops11.html Designer Toilet Paper!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/designertp.html Classic Chevy Collection!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevy.html Longleat's Monkey Shines!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monkeyshines.html MacGyver - How To Do It 5!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver5.html Longleat's Meals On Wheels!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/meals.html Amazing Street-Legal Airplane!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/transition.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us ones we have here... Eagle Rescue! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eaglerescue.html Military Dogs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/militarydogs.html Hand Painting Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hpaint.html Cell Phone Madness! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cellphone.html Top Reasons To SMILE http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smile.html --- ...TeeHee! Love These! Awesome Reminders! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us one I found here Wolf Pack on the move http://www.snopes.com/wolf-pack-photo/ --- ...I love the truth behind this photo! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) What A Wonderful World is a celebration of Natural History narrated by David Attenborough. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auSo1MyWf8g Meryl Streep, Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, Olivia NewtonJohn & Cher sing 'What A Wonderful World' as an anthem of hope for our beautiful planet. Someone called it "easily one of the best videos ever in existence!" Such a gem from the early 90s!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lWdrVWIPhk You won't believe some of the tricks these guys are able to pull off. It's amazing to see them in action. Pay close attention as they flip things from coins to ladders, trying to stick the landing. How do they do the trick with the toaster? https://youtu.be/8YydogFXCPM Do you remember the "Late Show with David Letterman"? This would have been a great entrant in his "Stupid Human Tricks" segment. This man shows off his spectacular balancing skills with a collection of bottles. Press play to see his steady hand in action. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Eo4gbLhYP8 --- ...Love em! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Amazon's home assistance device, 'The echo,' is already sold out until after the holidays. In the meantime, if you want to yell at something to turn off the lights or music in your house, just try your kids." -Jimmy Fallon "Ford announced today that it will resume car production in Venezuela starting this April. Employees will celebrate with a Fiesta." -Seth Meyers "A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order." -Conan O'Brien "Psychologists now believe that adulthood begins at 25, not 18. They also believe that middle age begins the first time you eat at a Denny's while sober." -Conan O'Brien "According to a recent survey, 15 percent of Americans have admitted to cooking in the nude. Unfortunately, most of them work at Chipotle." -Seth Meyers "The post office just can't get its act together. They announced today they want to raise the price of stamps so they can make an extra $2 billion. That is still better than their original plan - uninvent the Internet." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************