Smiles For Thanksgiving ... :) Shangy! >-->In The 'Shangy' News: >From Our Friend Steve :) We have some new funny pictures for our group picture and photos! View them in Steve's photo Folder from here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/ --- ...Thanks Steve! I loved these! -<,,>- >Now, I'd Like To Share this With You... Last night, my son gave me a DVD to watch called 'The Secret'. I thought it was a suspense or mystery type movie. Instead it turned out to be a motivational DVD. I had never seen what I had been taught from the bible in a pure secular manner. It was inspirational to me so I thought you might be interested in it too. Lately, we've been working on teachings from the bible that deal with renewing our mind to the law of believing with positive thinking. These people in 'The Secret' do the same thing but in a little bit of a different way. If you've been having a difficult time getting God's principles to jell in your heart, then perhaps you would do well in looking at them from a different angle. NOTE: If you are not sure of what I am talking about, please review and study these bible teachings first: ABRAHAM -- A Case Study in Believing http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/abraham.html Fear: Feeling Kind Of buggy http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/fearfeelingkindofbuggy.html Be Ye Thankful http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/beyethankful.html Overcoming Negative Believing http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/overcomenegative.html The Law Of Believing Part 1 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/lawofbelieving1.html The Law Of Believing Part 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/lawofbelieving2.html The Law Of Believing Part 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/lawofbelieving3.html ---------------------- "Now let's define or state the Law of Believing as simply as possible: WHAT WE BELIEVE FOR OR EXPECT IN THIS LIFE, WE RECEIVE. It sounds too simple to be true, doesn't it? But it is true. We never rise beyond where our believing takes us. This applies in every realm of life: physical, mental, material, and spiritual. It is this law which basically controls the abundant life. If we want the more than abundant life that the true God and Father of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has to offer, WE MUST BELIEVE HIS WORD, THEN ACT ON HIS WORD, and expect abundance or we will never manifest the more than abundant life. The key to receiving answers to prayer is to EXPECT that your prayers are answered even as you pray them. You must expect positive results and then act on your positive believing. Jesus Christ spelled it out: Mark 11: 24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." OK, in it's simplest form, that is the law of believing. However, Instead of calling it the law of believing, in 'The Secret', they refer to it as the law of attraction. Simply stated, they say that whatever your thoughts are is what you are attracting into your life. You are like a magnet in the universe. Your thoughts, feelings and actions determine what are going to be stuck on you or attracted to you. Because it is a law, it works for saint or sinner. It is not a respector of persons just as the law of gravity doesn't care if you are black or white, Christian or Muslim. It is the same thing as the law of believing. This is their web site: http://www.thesecret.tv/ >From watching this, I finally was able to understand why God had the apostle Paul say this: Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. I've seen this verse many times over. I've always thought to myself. Yeah, nice. OK. But it never really jelled in my heart as it did last night. God really and truly loves us. Like any good parent, He wants the very best for us. If we do what? THINK on these things, God knows that 'these things' will become part of our life. We will receive these things. It is not just so we are thinking nice things so that when God checks our thoughts He says - good, you are thinking sweet thoughts - nope. It wasn't at all for that purpose. God wants us to THINK ON THESE Things so they became a reality in our lives. So We Can Have whatsoever things are true. So We Can Have whatsoever things are honest. So We Can Have whatsoever things are just. So We Can Have whatsoever things are pure. So We Can Have whatsoever things are lovely. So We Can Have whatsoever things are of good report. So We Can Have things that have virtue. So We Can Have things that make us thankful and full of praise. The same things we'd wish for our own children and loved ones. Isn't God good! Blesses my heart every day! Please give this some thought and you'll see why attitude is so very important. :) -------------------------------------- >-->Wishing Everyone a SAFE, BLESSED, AND VERY __ / \ _/=Ll=\_ [________] ___ ||/""\|| .'___`. ( 6. 6 ) / /"""\ \ __, ,__, \_--_/ |( 6 6 )| (--| | .-[\~--~/]-. ~\_-_/~ |--| _ _ _ / \ / \ .-' '-. _| | (_||_)|_)\_| / _, `----' ,_ \ /\_____/\ ( |_, | | ,_| \ \| |/ / / ,_/^\_, \ \ >==[]==< / \_(_|-|_)_/ _______, \/__.''.__\/ //=====\\ (--| _, (_, | TT | // \\ | |_ _ ._ |__, , _ ' ',_ _ | || | // \\ _| | |(_|| || \ /_)(_||\/|| |(_| | || | /'---,___,---'\ ( |_, \_, ,_| ,_| |__||__| / / \ \ [__][__] '--,_________,--' jgs |_ || _| |_ | _| (__)(__) (__)__) MAY YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY AND IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE WITHOUT FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO SHARE THANKSGIVING WITH JUST REMEMBER, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU AND YOU CAN ALWAYS SUP WITH OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST :) WE HAVE THE BEST FAMILY!! Revelation, chapter 3 "20": Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. "21": To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne. "22": He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches. ====================================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: _ -=\`\ The Cautious Pilot... |\ ____\_\__ -=\c`""""""" "`) Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly jgs `~~~~~/ /~~` stopped, turned around and returned to the -==/ / gate. After an hour long wait, it finally '-' took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained. "So it took an hour to fix the problem?" she asked. "No," he replied, "It took us an hour to find a new pilot." ================================================================ +----------------- Bizarre Coincidences -------------------+ ( ( ) ) ( ) ) () ____.______._____ .--. ----- | _ - a:f - | __||___|[_]| |.|#|.[].[].[]..| o)__ |_ | ..|=|_|-|___________| __ <(__(*)_(*)_~_____~(*)____(*)_____ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A distraught architect threw himself in front of a train in the London Underground in a suicide attempt. Luckily, the train stopped inches from his body; in fact, it had to be jacked off its tracks to allow his removal. When questioned, however, the driver informed officials he hadn't stopped the train. An investigation revealed that one of the passengers, unaware of the suicide attempt, had independently pulled the emergency brake. London Transport officials considered prosecuting the passenger for illegal use of the emergency brake but ultimately decided against it. George D. Bryson, a businessman from Connecticut, decided to change his travel plans and stop in Louisville, Kentucky, a place he'd never visited before. He went to a local hotel and made preparations to check into Room 307. Before he could do so, a hotel employee handed him a letter addressed to his exact name. It turned out the previous occupant of Room 307 was another George D. Bryson. On three separate occasions - in the years 1664, 1785, and 1860 - there was a shipwreck in which only one person survived the accident. Each time that one person was named Hugh Williams. In 1983, a woman told British Rail authorities about a disturbing vision she had of a fatal train crash involving an engine with the numbers 47 216. Two years later, a train had a fatal accident, similar to the one the woman had described. The engine number, however, was 47 299. Later, someone noticed that the number had previously been changed by nervous British Rail officials. The original number: 47 216. Several secret code words were devised by Allied military commanders during their preparations to invade Normandy in World War II. Among them: "Utah," "Neptune," "Mulberry," "Omaha," and "Overlord." Before the invasion could begin, however, all of these words appeared in a crossword puzzle in the London Daily Telegraph. After interrogating the puzzle's author, an English school teacher, authorities became convinced that it was sheer, inexplicable coinci- dence. ================================================================= >-->Kids Thanksgiving Jokes: .:. .:. \|/ .:. _ \\,/// \|/ | \|/ _/_\_ ___ \\|/// <#> | \|<#> | (") /.-.\ (")\\ \|<#>|/ \| / _ //U\\ |(")| //-\\\ | \| /<#>/ ( ) _ \|_|/ /)v(\ <#>_/|_|/\\ \ |/ |/ \| (_` )_('> | | \/~\/ |||\\\ \| | |/ (__,~_)8 ||| //_\\ ||| \\ |/ \| / \| / jgs _YY_ _[|]_ /_____\ _[|]_ \| |/ |/ """"""""'""'""'"""""'""""'""'"""'"""""''"'"""^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one fresh enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Don't you have fresh turkeys?" The stock boy answered, "But they are all dead. Now how can I make them take a bath?" What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy! Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey." Have you finished off the first one? Yeah! Eaten it too? Yeah! What happened to the other one? The other turkey is now reading our conversation, boss. If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want? Ans- It simply wants to run away. What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? Ans- God save the kin. What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Ans- Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all. What will a turkey with a dramatic bent of mind say to another turkey on Thanksgiving morning? Ans- To be or not to be roasted, that is the question. The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?" What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey. Gobbler said, "Doctor, help me! I can't stop acting like a turkey!" "I see," said the doctor. "How long have you had this problem?" "Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954..." If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims! .-. .;;;;. ( ^_> <;<; \;>\ ! <;<; '-.>) \ <;<; <'=. | <;<; '- / <;,\.\--'` jgs `==`== Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE Why can't you take a turkey to church? Because they use such FOWL language What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called? Turkey feathers What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes - a building can't jump at all What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving How can you make a turkey float? You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play ) ( ___ .-'_ =\ jgs c=<___\-_) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed! Where did the first corn come from? The stalk brought it Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers? To keep his wigwam What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? It hugged the shore Thanks, for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business. Thanks, for a nation of finks. -- William S. Burroughs, "A Thanksgiving Prrayer" >From: http://www.theholidayspot.com/thanksgiving/jokes.htm ======================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Carman :) |_| _, _ _ ___ | |(_||_)|_)\_| .'=:-\ ___ | | ._| /.='( ` | |_ _ ,_ |/ , _ . .,_ _ /. ^=.'-._..---. | | |(_|| ||\/_)(_|||/|| |(_| | =^.'=.'^//"(_`\\)8, ._| ._| |^.'=' .=||/' `\||;8.-' \'.^,=^'.||; ; ||8/:_,_ give thanks... './-`\= \\\.-./;//,_/`- \ jgs \__/-/'-\888::((()),_ /:. .O__/ (_88:::(())):. `8':. ' From Carman and Carman World Outreach CARMAN CONCERTS IN DECEMBER Guthrie, OK (5th) * Hobbs, NM (6th) Prescott Valley, AZ (7th) * Dodge City, KS (9th) http://www.carman.org/news/concert_dates.shtml ===================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Steve :) ___-------___ _-~~ ~~-_ _-~ /~-_ /^\__/^\ /~ \ Ramblings / \ /| O|| O| / \_______________/ \ | |___||__| / / \ \ | \ / / \ \ | (_______) /______/ of a Retired \_________ \ | / / \ / \ \ \^\\ \ Mind / \ / \ || \______________/ _-_ //\__// \ ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~ ~\ || __/ ~-----||====/~ |==================| |/~~~~~ (_(__/ ./ / \_\ \. (_(___/ -jurcy- \_____)_) I’m on a roll, whippersnapper…. I was thinking about how the status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth,I think. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.' I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust." I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers! I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!" Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!" Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do... write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures! I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. " Enjoy Your Days .&. Love Your Life" because . " Life is a journey to be savored" -<,,>- This just in from my childhood buddy in SLC, UT. A remarkable phone call from a 12-yr old boy to Houston radio station KSBJ FM 89.3. So profound, the station has it posted on their web site. Click below to listen to it. It's short. http://tinyurl.com/yvh8yf --- ...Awesome - brought tears to my eyes - Thanks Steve! ===================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Tony In Australia :) | --====|====-- | .-"""""-. .'_________'. /_/_|__|__|_\_\ ;'-._ _.-'; ,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------, ``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""`` jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"` \\_// '._ _.' \\_// `"` ``---`` `"` >It’s the 20th anniversary of aviation’s most famous deadstick landing. If a Boeing 767 runs out of fuel at 41,000 feet what do you have? Answer: A 132 ton glider with a sink rate of over 2000 feet-per-minute and marginally enough hydraulic pressure to control the ailerons, elevator, and rudder. Put veteran pilots Bob Pearson and cool-as-a-cucumber Maurice Quintal in the in the cockpit and you've got the unbelievable but true story of Air Canada Flight 143, known ever since as the Gimli Glider. Read the full story here: http://www.wadenelson.com/gimli.html --- ...Amazing! Thanks Tony! ================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ,--. \ _\_ _\/_|_\____.'\ -(___.--._____( Airplane Humor \ \ \ \ `--' jg A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." -------------------------------------------------------------- The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will." -------------------------------------------------------------- Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot." -------------------------------------------------------------- "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727? ====================================================================== >-->NOT So Humorous... From emergency email: 2007 Holiday Travel Security Guidelines Update and video... http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=271&z=1 -<>- Alert: IRS warns new scam emails offering refunds Holiday cheer may make consumers drop their guard. Sample of actual phishing email... http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=274&z=1 THE EMERGENCY EMAIL & WIRELESS NETWORK http://www.emergencyemail.org ==================================================================== >-->From Maxy's Pal :) . \ | / _\|/_ .' ' ' '. ___ _.|.--.--.|.___.--'___`-. .'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'` .'.' ||()|()|| .___..-'.' / \ `----'"` / .-. \ (.'.(___).'.) `.__.-.__.' jgs |_| |_| `.`-'.' `"` Greetings! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greetings.html --- ...Thanks Mxy's Pal! A Nice reminder to all our friends! ==================================================================== >-->In The WorldlyNews: >From AFA: M (X) // \\ The Golden Compass // \\ // \\ // \\ / \ pb If you are a parent or grandparent, you need to be aware of the movie The Golden Compass Movie to be released December 7 There is a new movie coming to theaters December 7. You should be forewarned about The Golden Compass. The target audience for the movie is children, and it is being promoted in some schools. The Golden Compass is based on a book trilogy that promotes atheistic views, likely to be reflected in the movie. For more information on The Golden Compass, click here to read the column by AFA's Rebecca Grace. http://tinyurl.com/2qld7x You might also want to read an article from Chuck Colson's Prison Fellowship. Click here for the article. http://tinyurl.com/35y29h Forward this to friends and family. Thank you for caring enough to get involved. Sincerely, Don Donald E. Wildmon, -<>- >From Consumer Reports... ________________________________________________ /\____Help us get the lead out!_________________/`-. <()>____________________________________________< ## \/______________________________________________\,-' unknown Consumer Reports testers just identified high levels of lead in a toy blood pressure cuff, part of a Fisher-Price kid's "medical kit." Every week, stores pull more toys off the shelves for excessive lead: toy garden tools, toy boats, Sesame Street's Elmo, Dora the Explorer, Winnie-the-Pooh play sets and more! Holiday shopping starts soon, yet we have a long way to go before we can trust the safety of the items we want to buy for our friends and family. Send a message urging your members of Congress to hold manufacturers, importers and retailers accountable for the safety of their products. More than 20 million toys have been recalled this year, alone! More dangerous, imported products may be sitting on store shelves. Worse yet, in our homes. Come this holiday season, will unsafe toys be caught before they are bought? Too long, we have relied primarily on recalls to get dangerous products off the market, but shouldn't corporations make sure the toys they manufacture overseas are safe before they arrive in our local stores? Join us in sending a message urging Congress to keep Americans safe this holiday season. Click Here: http://tinyurl.com/2tam9t Once you've sent your letter, please forward this email to your friends and family and ask them to join you and thousands of others! Thank you for your help in protecting consumers from these dangerous products. Sincerely, Jim Guest -<>- >From Grassfire.org Alliance... Border fence funding hoax exposed: o /|\ =|===|===|(=)|===|=== =|===|===|`='|===|=== Where's the Rest Of It? unknown We have the "smoking gun" on why the government isn't building the double-layered fence mandated by law. Please read below and forward to your friends. As we reported to you last week, our government has built just five miles of the 854 miles of double-layer border fence mandated by the Secure Fence Act of 2006. This outrageous fact begs a question... Why? If the law mandated a double layer fence covering 854 miles, then how come such little progress has been made? + + Border fence funding hoax of 2006 and 2007 Grassfire.org's research staff has blown the lid off a deceptive and convoluted border fence funding sham being perpetrated on the citizens of our nation. Warning -- reading this report will enrage you. It will infuriate you. Go here to access the full report: http://www.grassfire.org/22042/offer.asp?rid=14282578 -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: ,;;:;, ;;;;; ,:;;:; ,'=. ;:;:;' .=" ,'_\ ':;:;,/ ,__:=@ Beloved squirrel remembered by OSU ';;:; =./)_ jgs `"=\_ )_"` ``'"` Ohio State University students are struggling with the recent violent loss of a familiar face on their campus: a beloved albino squirrel known as Whitey. Freshman biology major James Greenebaum said the unusual appearance of a hawk on campus last week was at first exciting, but then he recognized the bird's unfortunate prey, The Columbus Dispatch reported Wednesday. "I thought it was really cool until I saw that pure white fur," the 18-year-old said. "I screamed, 'Oh my God, it's Whitey!'" Horrified witnesses then got a front row seat to the hawk's culinary habits at the expense of the familiar campus rodent. While more than 800 people joined Whitey's online Facebook page to eulogize their fallen four-legged, furry friend, OSU biology professor Steve Rissing attempted to put a positive spin on last Friday's food-chain tragedy. "Yes, it is tragic that the favored squirrel has died, but think of what the students have learned," Rissing told the Dispatch. "I've been bird-watching all my life, and I've only seen a hawk eat its prey fewer times than I can count on one hand." ( ) (oo) )\.-----/(O O) # ; / u Deputies chase escaping cows ( . |} ) |/ `.;|/; " " " unknown Sheriff's deputies in Weber County, Utah, needed to do a bit of wrangling when eight cows escaped from a trailer at a McDonald's restaurant. Lt. Kevin Burns said the truck hit a large bump as it pulled up to the fast food restaurant and the trailer's rear gate swung open, allowing the cows to make a play for freedom, The Ogden (Utah) Standard-Examiner reported Wednesday. Burns joked that the cows were fleeing McDonald's because "they didn't like their future." "I was sitting in my truck watching it because I thought my eyes were lying," said trucker Wayne Sanders, who watched the scene from a truck stop across the street. "I don't know where they came from, but I'd say they'd have to weigh 800 pounds apiece ... and they were on a pretty good trot." Sheriff's deputies spent two hours executing the plan they dubbed "Operation Hamburger Helper" to round up the stray cattle from a nearby lot. The owner said the animals were destined for slaughter in Taylor, Utah, after "60 more days to fatten up." C============== B |\ | | /| E R |\\| |//| N I |_\| |/_| G T |__ __| L Food theft charges lead to costly probe A | /| |\ | A I |//| |\\| N N |/_|_|_\| D British taxpayers are shelling out $20,000 for an investigation into allegations that a Legal Services Commission employee did not pay for breakfast. Denis Breading said he was suspended by the commission while it conducts a prove into whether he "misused public funds" when he allegedly tried to avoid paying a $3.29 breakfast bill at the office canteen, The Daily Mail reported Wednesday. Breading claims no canteen staff were on hand to take his money when he went for breakfast and he was still eating inside the facility when he was accused of "thieving." "They suspended me because I sat down without paying for my breakfast and reported me for theft," he said. Breading said the investigation could cost a further $30,000 if a special arbitrator is hired for the case. -<>- >From BizarreNews: * /)___________/) / ,--o ______/ / * * HA / /__\ / | HA * * HA / {''}] / | HA .--{~`/--. ) \__ * / { } \ / / * /_/ ~ /_//' / / .-""==="==="" | / / / |-(__)(__)/__| /_/ / | \ |\ |__ ) / / / //_/ /_/ / / / _/_/________ / / / ( (/ / / \========== / snd/ (___________/ / _/ / _/ / |\/| / \\_/ \\_/ He's a 00 | _/________ |\/| / JOKE /_/|_\/ 00 | _/ All right __/ )| /_/|_\// VV-- \ __/ )| |_ | VV-- \ / / / ) |_ | |_|_/\_ \____ / / / ) //// '-----` |_|_/\_ \____ //// //// '-----` " " //// " " -- Santas told not to use 'ho, ho, ho' ----------- SYDNEY - Santas in Australia have been discouraged from saying their traditional catch phrase, "ho, ho, ho," because some feel it could scare children and offend women. Instead, hundreds of men hired by the Westaff recruitment firm to play Santa Claus for the holidays have been told to say "ha, ha, ha." One would-be Santa told The Daily Telegraph he quit after he was told not to use "ho, ho, ho" because it could be mistaken for the U.S. slang for prostitute. "Gimme a break," Julie Gale, who runs Kids Free 2B Kids, a campaign against sexualizing children, told the newspaper. "We are talking about little kids who do not understand that 'ho, ho, ho' has any other connotation and nor should they." Several large stores in Australia have said they have no plans to censor their Santas. Westaff's Santa coordinator wrote in an e-mail to stores: "Part of our advice to our Santas is that they should be mindful of children having their first Santa experience. We ask our Santas to try techniques such as lowering their tone of voice and using 'ha, ha, ha' to encourage the children to come forward and meet Santa." ============================================================ >-->From The Jokester: >These are some (allegedly) real-life examples of: .-..-. (-o/\o-) /`""``""`\ \ /.__.\ / \ `--` / `) (' , /::::\ , |'.\::::/.'| _| ';::;' |_ (::) || (::) _. "| || |" _(:) '. || .' /::\ '._||_.' \::/ /::::\ /:::\ \::::/ _\:::/ /::::\_.._ _.._ _.._ _.._/::::\ \::::/::::\/::::\/::::\/::::\::::/ jgs `""`\::::/\::::/\::::/\::::/`""` `""` `""` `""` `""` What NOT To Put on a Resume. => "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." => "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." => "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable." => "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." => "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet." => "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." => "I am a rabid typist." => "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." => "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far." => "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one." => "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me." => "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers." => "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." => "I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant." => "I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice-mail." => "Qualifications: No education or experience." => "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." => Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!" -<>- >Tips On Building A Resume Here's some advice to build the resume that will get you hired! THE NAME: Use the name to your advantage. Spice it up a little bit. Steve Smith goes nowhere fast. But Sir Stephen Smith -- now that might turn a few heads. Nicknames also help. Mark "Keyboards" O'Malley is good. Mark "Kegsucker" O'Malley is bad. THE ADDRESS: Forget your real address. Make a statement instead! Saying you're from the Bronx suggests you're tough as nails. Anyplace in Japan implies you believe in an 18-hour-a-day work ethic! THE PHONE NUMBER: Skip it. What are the odds they'll call -- 1,000 to 1. If they do, they'll probably just catch your roommate somewhere in the middle of his second six-pack. My advice is never put your phone number on a resume unless you want to try some interesting 900 number which might wake up a recruiter or two. THE AMBITION STATEMENT: Forget the ambition statement. You know what I mean:"Seeking a challenging IS position using state-of-the-art technology in a high-growth, future-oriented corporation that is doing neat things for the environment." A better idea is to tell them what you're NOT seeking. "Not seeking a job where I'm paying my dues for eight years, maintaining ancient Cobol code that crashes every other night, slaving for some horrible boss and groveling in the smallest cubicle in the world until I finally claw my way into a lower management position, only to have the company lay off 40% of its work force so that I wind up in some non-critical, low-paying, dead-end, back-office position." EDUCATION: Don't be afraid of Yalies and PH.D.s. Be proud of where you go to school and play it straight. But just to be on the safe side, send an application to some prestigious high-tech program at a prestigious school. Until they respond, you're not lying if you list under your education credits: "BA in Watersports Administration, Massatucky State, 1993... and current doctoral candidate, Nuclear Computer Simulation Modeling Fellowship Program, MIT." EXPERIENCE: Even fresh out of school, you've got to have experience. But don't mention that you've invested in your own relational database or coded an object-oriented commodity trading system... Everybody's done that stuff. I'm talking about hands-on experience: high-level management, microchip design, hostile takeovers, etc. So if you're a little light in the experience area, don't tell lies. Instead, simply try a bit-more-concise explanation of the experience you do have. For example, if you worked as a cashier at Food Giant, make it, "Monitored and troubleshot retail point-of-sale bar-code inventory scanning system." "Conducted usability testing for graphical user interface" sounds a lot better than "played too much Nintendo." THE CLOSE: "References furnished upon request?" What kind of power-close is that? Let me leave you instead with this recommendation: Close with impact. Close with passion. Close with a line they'll remember, like "Please, please give me a job. And by the way, I know where you live." ==================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: Did you hear the new California quarter's reverse side features a bear, a miner, a condor, a redwood, and poppies? The engraving depicts the bear observing the miner as he cooks the condor over a redwood fire he made after smoking a distillate of the poppies. -<>- ..---.. / \ | | : ; she hasn't got a clue.. \ \~/ / `, Y ,' |_|_| |===| |===| \_/ We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a baby boomer from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me." By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?" "No!!" she said in a loud whisper, "The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car." -<>- How about the optometrist? He fell into his lens grinding equipment and made a spectacle of himself. --Marc Joe, you're story about going into a liquor store looking like you're seventeen reminds me of a story. I used to sell door-to-door... One day I knocked on this one door and a 10- year-old kid answered. He had a beer in one hand and a lit cigar in the other. Shocked.. I asked.. "Are you parent's home?" He took a long, leisurely drag on the cigar and answered... "What do YOU think?" --Renfield -<>- ..---.. / \ | | : ; Another - No brainer \ \~/ / `, Y ,' |_|_| |===| |===| \_/ I went to a store to buy some insecticide. "Is this good for beetles?" I asked the clerk. "No," replied. "It'll kill 'em." -<>- Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. "I'm here to do my postnatal exercises," The instructor gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?" "Twenty-six," I replied. -<>- My friend Monica is an accomplished harpist, who frequently plays for weddings, reception, parties, and other such events. She is also blond and has an appropriately cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel, and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray- haired man stepped on. As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "And just how far up are you going?" ================================================================ >-->FUN Places to Net Visit: H A P P Y T H A N K S G I V I N G T O Y O U A N D Y O U R S ! ____ : : ___ :____: ___ ---\ ~~ /---___ : []: \ \ ~ \~ /~~~/~~~/ ----,------- ,' \~~ \~~ \/ ~~/~~~/ `, ,' 0 0 __ -_~~ \ \,------, / ~ _` ; _____\ ; - _ \,'^^^^^^^ ""`,_- \ `, `--'; u ; ~~ ,'^^^^----------- / ,'`,,,' ;~ ---, ^^^,`__----, ..`,/ ,'..,' `, ~ ,^^ <_'__--__ `, .. `,/ .. ` `,---` ^<________-- `, .. .. ,' ___ [] ___ `,---` <__ -__ ___ ,' .. . ,` _/ \)(/ \_ `, --` <__ __ _ ,' ... _,` / / \ \ `--,___<___ ,'`-___,' ,' : | `, <___,'(||) : : : || || : : | ; __||_ _||_ \_ : _/ // ;;\\ ;;\\ \_ \ | / _/ ~~ ~~ ~~ \__________/ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Thanksgiving and Turkey Animated gifs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html -<>- >From The MouthPiece: Urban Dictionary A slang dictionary with your definitions. Define your world. Visit: Urban Dictionary Cranky Customer True Tales of Customer Service Incompetence. Visit: Cranky Customer -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Citizen's Self-Arrest Form http://www.ou.edu/oupd/selfarr2.htm The Language Guide http://www.engin.umd.umich.edu/CIS/course.des/cis400/ Frog and Scorpion http://www.gregnog.com/frogandscorpion.htm Rose Petals: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/rose.html Burning The Chaff http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/burningthechaff.html Thanksgiving Quiz Via Kent Http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp Where Cars Get Stuck http://www.carstuck.com/ Soap Sculptures Via Dianne http://www.family.ca/doit/makeit/dm_soapsculptures.php Creating a Website Step byStep http://www.jessett.com/ Glasses http://www.buffalosjokes.com/3392.htm Rich and Smooth http://www.buffalosjokes.com/3396.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: Charisma is what makes one man a skinny grandfather with bad teeth repeating the same story since 1964, and the other man Mick Jagger singing 'Satisfaction' to a stadium full of screaming fans at 300 bucks a head. -- Dennis Miller "It takes time to raise about 25 children. I know, I have two myself. That's plenty. Mine are twins, though. Both of them. They're awfully cute. I can't think of their names. They don't come when I call them anyway." --Victor Borge After playing 18 holes of golf, our foursome was sitting around the clubhouse settling our bets when another golfer stormed in. Fuming after a lousy round, he slammed down his scorecard and announced, "If I wasn't married, I'd give this stupid game up!" "Interns scare me. They're too young. How can you have con- fidence in a doctor who has his rubber gloves pinned to his sleeves?" --Joan Rivers "When I'm driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I'm not afraid of small children." --Jonathan Katz "For those who may not know this: When the preacher says, 'You may now kiss the bride,' he's only speaking to the groom." -David Gunter "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others." - George Orwell "The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact." - Thomas H. Huxley "Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them." - Leo Tolstoy >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Uh Huh! :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************