Snail, Nuts, Ventriloquist And More :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our ShangyFunList: Group Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com :) The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our flaming hot new page is from our friend PatDeE. It'll give you plenty of Ooo's, awes and eye candy with its beautiful scenes. A wonderful road trip! Be sure to check it and its interesting fun video out here... _|\ _/|_, ,((\\``-\\\\_ ,(()) `))\ ,(())) ,_ \ ((())' | \ ))))) >.__ \ (((' / `-. .c| hjw / `-`' Scenic US Route 66 West! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/scenicroute66.html --- ...Absolutely stunning! Thanks PatDeE! This too hot to handle new page is from our friends Linda and Geniann. We all love our pets, but we do have to face the truth. They are quite awkward when it comes to using people furniture. It's just not made for them, and it shows! This'll give you plenty of smiles and chuckles for your day. Give it a few moments and check it out here... _.--"""--._ .' '-. `. __/__ (-. `\ \ /o `o \ \ \ \ _\__.__/ )) | | ; .--;" | | \ ( `) | | \ _|`---' .' _, _| | `\ '`_\ \ '_,.-';_.-`\| \ \_ .' '--'---;` / / |\ |_..--' \ \'-'.' .--'.__/ __.-; `"` (___...---''` \ _/_ \ /jgs\ \___/ It Doesn't Fit! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nofit.html --- ...So Funny and cute! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ((" ") <)) <\(> '\| |\ ________/|______| \_________ kOs Jim was annoyed when his blonde wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn't gotten the license number. "What kind of car was he driving?" he asked. "I don't know," she said. "I never can tell one car from another." At that, Jim decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make. It worked. About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face. "Darling," she said. "I hit a Buick!" -<>- It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, who provided the expert forensic testimony at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that's impossible... we could never do it. Yes Mr. President," and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in Congress." -<>- There were three guys. They each were asked to name something green, pink and yellow. The first guy said, "My shirt is green, my tie is pink and my pants are yellow". The second guy said, "The grass is green, the sun is yellow, and my door is pink." The third guy said, "The phone goes 'green green', I pink it up and say 'yellow'". -<>- Here’s what your e-mail address says about your computer skills: Own domain (e.g., @joesmith.com): You’re skilled and capable. @gmail.com: When the Internet stops working, you actually try rebooting the router before calling a family member for help. @hotmail.com: You still think that Myspace is hip. @yahoo.com: You send e-mail chain letters saying that Bill Gates will eat your hard drive unless you forward this message to everyone you know. @aol.com: You phone friends to tell them about a neat website, then say into the receiver, “OK, go to … h … t … t … p … colon … slash … w … w … w … dot …” ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ March 22 is As Young As You Feel Day and National Goof Off Day March 23 is Melba Toast Day, National Chip and Dip Day, National World Agriculture Day, National Puppy Day and Near Miss Day March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day March 25 is Feast of the Annunciation, Pecan Day and Waffle Day March 26 is Live Long and Prosper Day, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and National Spinach Day March 27 is National "Joe" Day and Passover begins at sundown March 28 is Palm Sunday, Something on a Stick Day and Weed Appreciation Day ======================================================= >-->From Mikey'sFunnies: a. ---._ _`8P . ` \`| ___.8 / ( / __(P --. \ \( ( _. \\\ ___ |/_ ` \ `_,/ \--( ">'__.(-' `-/ `- \_( _____..stuMBLE (__.----. (_ ] `\__(\|/ | `" | [________________a:f____________________ For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him. "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself," he said. The boss replied, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire hour?" -<>- In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "He is, but tell me, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it!" -<>- Me to the postal carrier: This empty envelope must be from my sister Charlotte. Postal carrier: Now why would she send you an empty envelope? Me: We had an argument, and she's not talking to me. -<>- Little Johnny's family had guests for dinner. The dessert was apple pie. Mom cut the pieces and Little Johnny carried them to the table. He gave the first piece to Dad, who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with the second piece and gave it to Dad, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size." -<>- A young mother was preparing breakfast for her two young sons--a five year-old and a three year-old. They were arguing over who would get the first pancake. The mother, trying to instill good morals in her sons, asked them to remember What Would Jesus Do. She said that Jesus would say: "Let my brother have the first pancake." The 5-yr-old quickly turned to the 3-yr-old and said, "You play Jesus." -<>- A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court." He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || >SMILES Frieda had just finished her fish dinner. She was, however, not at all happy with it, so she called over the waiter. "I've tasted fresher fish," said Frieda. "Not in here," replied the waiter. ---------- A little boy was teaching a little girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division! ---------- Mom, Can I have a dog for Christmas? No you can have turkey like everyone else! ---------- /^\ /^\ { O} { O} \ / \ / // // _------_ // // ./~ ~-_ / ~----~/ / \ / : ./ _---_ ~- | \________) : /~ ~\ | | / | | :~~\ | | | | | | \___-~ | | \ __/`=1C______\. ./ \ ~-______-~\. .| ~-_ /_____________________________________~~____ John McDonald The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door. He opens the door and there's a snail sitting on the doorstep. "What do you want?" asks the owner. "I want a beer," says the snail. "First of all, we're closed, and second of all, we don't serve snails. So go away!" The snail begs and pleads for a beer. The owner finally gets fed up, kicks the snail, and slams the door. ONE YEAR LATER.... The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door. He opens the door and there's a snail sitting on the doorstep. "What'd you do that for?" asks the snail. ---------- A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language." ---------- Miss Figpot was giving a lecture on company slogans, advertising and marketing in her fifth grade class. "Joey," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" "United." Joey answered. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now Hawk, Tell me which company uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" Little Hawk answered, "Mom." ---------- While filling out an employment application, a man paused over this question: "Person to notify in case of an accident." Finally he wrote, "Anybody in sight." ---------- One day a woman walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The jerk called again" --------- ,-. O / `. <\/ `. |* `. / \ `. / / `>')3s, --------. ,' apc / 7 "Practice Catch & Release" The king wanted to go fishing, and so, he asked his royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain. So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and the king asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm. "The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him." So the king and queen continued on their way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain." So the king hired the donkey. And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this date. And, thus, the Democratic Party symbol was born. --- ...LMAO! Love these! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- _,,--,,_ /` .`\ / ' _.-' \ | `'_{}_ | | /` `\ | \/ == == \/ /| (.)(.) |\ \| __)_ |/ |\/____\/| | ` ~~ ` | \ / jgs `.____.` >Thought For The Day - Giving A Muslim A Cookie If you give a Muslim a cookie, he will complain that it isn't Halal and demand that you provide one that is. If you give a Muslim a Halal cookie, he will demand that you give him a job so he can buy his own cookies. If you give a Muslim a job, he will demand you give him time out to pray. If you give a Muslim time out to pray, he will demand that you respect his prophet. If you show respect for his prophet, a Muslim will demand that you stop singing your National Anthem. If you stop singing your National Anthem, a Muslim will demand that you elect him to Congress. If you elect a Muslim to Congress, he will demand that we change, so we are no longer allowed to speak freely or have guns or worship the god of our choice (or not any god at all). If we change the Constitution to what a Muslim demands, he will demand that Sharia Law be followed by everyone in the land. If Sharia is followed by everyone in the land, then Muslims will be permitted by law to execute anyone who disagrees with them or does not dress like them or does not worship Allah. (Thus we become Infidels.) Congress, you gave a Muslim a cookie. So did you, England, France and Greece. Already the newly elected congressional female from Minnesota is criticizing our country and our Christian values and beliefs. And so, IT begins... Send her and all of them back to the country we gave them asylum from and helped educate, medicate, feed and house! FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW! --- ...Sad but true for so many we have helped! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: __________________________________________/ ------------------------------------------| | | |~~~~~~~~~~| | | | | *| *|Bless this|* |* | | |_____|_____| ~Home~ |______|______|____| _________ _________ | `| "Sweep and mop! It's not our | |] job to help clean house! |__________| Mom treats us like slaves!" | | / |_==___==_| | |]__.--@|@--.__\\\\___|_________| | |---(((----//--( oo //oo o oo| | | |()))) // ||\O/ /)| _______ | | | | \_/ (\/ |// \///|| || |jro | |// \\//____|\\ //_|||_______|| |__________|__\\__\/_______(//|__|_________| ///\\ //|| ~~(_)(_) ////(_) >Who's ready for a good, spring cleaning? Spring is here and that means spring cleaning is too! So let's review a few tips that will make cleaning your home easier and more thorough so you can enjoy a fresh, clean spring. * Always Work from Top to Bottom When you think about how to spring clean your home, it's important to start from the ceiling down. This will force debris downward and keep you from having to re-dust or re-clean your space. If you have a vacuum with an extension hose, use it to get cobwebs and dust from your ceilings and fans first. Then dust your furniture and other items before vacuuming all the dust and debris off your floors. It will save you time. * Natural Cleaning Solutions Luckily, there are ways to clean such surfaces without resorting to nasty chemicals. Here are a few natural cleaning alternatives to try: Damp cloth: Use a warm, damp cloth to wipe down latex- painted walls and many other surfaces sensitive to the extreme heat of steam cleaners. Baking soda (sodium bicarbonate): Sprinkle baking soda on carpet or upholstery, let sit several minutes, and then vacuum up. Washing soda: A close cousin to baking soda, washing soda (sodium carbonate) can be used to clean oil spots from cement garage floors. Sprinkle on the spot along with some water to make a paste and let sit overnight. Then scrub with a brush, rinse off and wipe down. Vinegar: Vinegar is a wonderful natural cleaner. Mix 1/4 cup with 2 cups water, spray on windows and wipe clean. You can also add a splash of vinegar to a bucket of warm water and use for mopping most floors. For moldy walls, spray vinegar on and let sit several minutes before wiping off. Castile soap: This natural olive oil-based soap can be used for a variety of cleaning projects. Mix 1/4 cup with 2 gallons of warm water for a floor-cleaning solution, and combine 1 tablespoon of the soap with 1/3 cup baking soda for a natural cleaning scrub for showers, tubs, tile, and sinks. Olive oil: For a natural furniture polish, mix 2 cups of olive oil with 2 tablespoons of lemon juice and rub on with a soft cloth. * Think Steam When You Spring Clean You want to start spring off on a clean note, so don't expose yourself to chemicals and toxins. A steam cleaner is one of the best green products for spring cleaning. It can be used to clean your microwave, tile, hard floors, kitchen appliances, bathrooms, and even outdoor areas. Since steam cleaners only use hot water vapor, they are a 100% natural and chemical-free cleaning solution. But keep in mind not everything can be steam cleaned. If you don't have a steam cleaner, one of the best natural combinations for cleaning is white distilled vinegar, baking soda, and water. These ingredients are affordable, non-toxic, and have worked for ages when it comes to cleaning. -<>- ___________,_____ | | # |=====| | | (_) |=====| |> _ |_____|=====| | [_] | | | | |_____|=====| | | |_____| | ] |_____| | | |_____|=====| | | ___ |_____| |> |[___]| | | |[___]|=====| |_____|=====|_____| jgs [###########] Your fridge is undoubtedly the most expensive appliance in your kitchen - unless you have a really fancy espresso machine. It's also kind of important for keeping all of your perishable food fresh and edible. So it makes sense to take care of it, because a few common bad habits could be taking years off your fridge. * You're not cleaning the defrost drain If the defrost drain is clogged with debris, or frozen, the water dripping off the coils will overflow the drain trough and drip into the bottom of your refrigerator. Not only can this overwork your fridge, leading to a shorter lifespan, but it can also potentially cause your fridge/freezer to leak water all over your kitchen floor. * You're not cleaning the fridge itself Debris, foodstuff and sticky spills that stay on the gasket of the refrigerator's door can damage the seal which can cause cold air to escape. In order to keep your fridge in tip-top shape and working for a long time, be sure to wipe down the door edges often. * You're not cleaning the coils You can eliminate 70 percent of service calls for your fridge by cleaning your coils once a year. Debris on the coils can stop your fridge from properly dissipating heat which means that your compressor will be working harder and longer than it was designed to, using more energy and shortening the life of your fridge. --- ...Yes, I found some 'How To' help for you :) Cleaning the inside of your refrigerator https://tinyurl.com/8zvtbwm2 Do you know how to clean refrigerator coils? https://tinyurl.com/4k9ajwnc Cleaning A Fridge Defrost Drain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SEe5z9JrMU -<>- ____ ___|=--=/ \=--=| :(___.--. .--.___): { __ ' ) ( ` __ )= ""----'Ahas '----"" ====' If you don't employ a no-shoe policy it's time to start. * Are you inviting dirt into your home? One of the biggest mistakes you might be making is wearing shoes inside the house. Shoes track in all sorts of dirt and grime from outside so leave them at the door and enforce a "no shoes" policy. Not only does this help to prevent the build-up of dirt, it also helps to protect your floors from scuffs and scratches. Don't be shy about asking guests to remove their shoes when they enter your home. Create a pretty sign and place it by the front door so visitors can clearly see it. * Dust Without Spraying Feather dusters work great for cleaning blinds, pictures, nooks, and other areas. Ostrich feather dusters, which start at about $15, because the feathers tackle the dust and the large quills don't fall out of the handle. You'll want a high-quality feather duster that will fit in your back pocket which works well for routing dusting. For heavy buildup you will need to vacuum or use a cloth, then use the duster every other week or so after that. -<>- =()= ,/'\_||_ ( (___ `. `\./ `==' ||| ||| PhS ||| * Repair that leaky faucet Drip, drip, drip... its not just annoying to listen to. A leaky tap can waste 140 gallons of water a week that's a pretty big dent in the utilities bill. People are often unaware of leaks, so make a note to check all fixtures (including pipes under sinks) regularly. Repairing a leaky faucet is not as difficult as you think. If you have an adjustable wrench, a flathead screwdriver, a Phillips-head screwdriver allen wrenches, white vinegar and a scouring pad you can do it yourself. There are plenty of tutorials online. And an hour of effort will save you a hundred dollars or so in a repair bill. --- ...Yes, again, I found a 'How To' for you :) Repairing a leaky faucet https://tinyurl.com/c3zjfypd ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Justice With Judge Jeanine – 3/20/21 | Fox News https://tinyurl.com/39mnfazt Watters’ World – 3/20/21 https://one-news.net/watters%e2%80%99-world-%e2%80%93-32021-fox-news/ The Biden administration is reportedly set to spend $86 million in taxpayer funds to purchase hotel rooms to house migrants who are coming over the United States-Mexico border in record numbers, according to Axios. https://tinyurl.com/b6cxj6ub Ex-COVID Czar BLASTS Biden for ‘Complete Rewrite’ of History https://tinyurl.com/jm3wrrre ‘Something’s not right!’ Fmr. WH physician raises ‘MAJOR red flag’ on Biden ‘hiding from public’ after stumble https://tinyurl.com/3hvp5mzj Black Leaders Discuss The Racist Roots Of Planned Parenthood Once you hear the real truth behind the abortion industry – you’ll be outraged at just how deep racism is embedded into their history. https://tinyurl.com/ttaa9f4 Illegal Alien Who Recently Crossed The Border Tells Reporter He ‘Definitely’ Would Not Have Attempted Crossing Under Trump / Donald Trump Is Starting A Social Media Platform And It Will Be ‘Ready Within Months,” / Eighth Woman Accuses Gov. Cuomo Of S%xual Harassment And Trying To Cover Up Allegations / DeSantis Says COVID Passports Will Not Happen In Florida, Reports Show China Wants To Build & Lead Global ‘Vaccine Passport’ System / ‘Harry Potter’ Actor Defends J.K. Rowling, Slams Cancel Culture / Rand Paul Grills Dr. Fauci On COVID Reinfection & Double Masking / White House Blames The Wind For Joe Biden Falling https://thescoop.us/ Government Previews UFO Information Release / Chicoms Weaponize BLM Rhetoric to Control the Biden Administration / Lockdowns are Causing Mid-Life Melt Downs / Biden Has Picked Fights with Both Russia and China in His First Two Months / Leaked Audio Shows Cuomo Threatened to Make Up Stories to Destroy Opponents Reputations / Leftist Grudgingly Admit, Trump Was Correct About Operation Warp Speed / Criminals Sneaking into US by Pretending to be Part of a Family / Arizona Forced to Conduct Hand-Count of 2.1 Million Ballots https://reliablenewsnow.com/ This Ivy League School Just Brought Back a Racist Policy Once Thought Dead https://deepstatejournal.com/ Border Patrol Chief Just Called Sleepy Joe Out For His Lies! / Nancy Is Now Trying To Steal Even More Spots! / BUYER’S REMORSE? Biden Voters Confessing It IS The WORST Decision They Ever Made! http://2020conservative.com/ Biden Proves His Loyalty To LGBT Activists By Choosing A “Transgender” To Lead Healthcare Policy - (Dims don't want us using personal pronouns such as he or she, so I'll oblige this time by saying 'it' certainly appears to be a very poor example of good mental or physical health for a leader of our Healthcare Policy.) https://tinyurl.com/3ktaa2sf Latest From Independent Minute: https://independentminute.com/ Latest From TPN News: https://threepercenternation.com/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Recall Alert: Turkey, Chocolate, Raisins http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: The World has gone nuts! Nut case #1: There is a lot to be said for a little peace and quiet. Especially when you have a neighbor who just will not shut up with her constant...laundry? The rinsing, the spinning, the folding. Eventually there is only one thing left to do. Kidnapping. A Vero Beach, Florida man is accused of abducting a neighbor after he claimed the woman and her husband were being too loud in their laundry room. Authorities with the Vero Beach Police Department said Leon Thurston, 61, entered the laundry room of Jessica Scoville's home with a black baton and a handgun. Investigators said Scoville's husband, David Scoville, was hit twice with the baton before Thurston grabbed Jessica Scoville by the wrist and took her from the home. David Scoville then called police for help. A search was launched for Jessica, when she flagged down police near Charles Park about 7:30 a.m. Thurston was taken into custody, and officials said a gun was found in his pants. Jessica Scoville told authorities she asked Thurston to use a restroom and was able to get away and find help. Thurston faces numerous charges, including armed burglary, aggravated battery and kidnapping. -<>- Nut case #2: I first heard about body suspension about 15 years ago. That is where people hang themselves from hooks pierced through their skin. As you can imagine, the piercings have to be pretty deep in order to hold the weight, and they have to be close to the center of mass, like the back or the chest. Nose piercings aren't going to cut it for body suspension. One man in Russia decided to pierce his butt cheeks, of all places, but simple suspension wasn't enough for this adrenaline junkie. And the entire, bizarre, agonizing stunt was caught on video. An unnamed daredevil in Russia was caught on video bungee jumping from a bridge with the bungee cords attached to his butt piercings. Yes, butt piercings. The video was filmed in the Russian city of Saint Petersburg. It shows the extreme sports fanatic, whose name has not been revealed, perching on the ledge as his team make the final preparations. At least four cords are attached to the piercings in his butt cheeks, which are fully on show thanks to a modified pair of jeans. He then suddenly jumps from a height of 27 metres. When the cord is fully extended, the man can be heard screaming in agony as his butt piercings suddenly take his full weight. The video was shared with the caption: "The Saint Petersburg extremist wanted to feel the whole range of existing pain sensations." --- ...And No, I do not condone these acts of mental illness. Speaking of which, here are another couple of nuts... *--- Man stabbed over mask dispute ---* Police in League City, Texas are looking for a man they say stabbed a Jack in the Box manager after being asked to wear a face mask or leave the restaurant. Police said the suspect walked in the restaurant without a face mask and was told he needed to have one in order to be served or use the drive-thru. Surveillance video released by the police department shows the manager holding up the store's written policy as he escorts the assailant out the door. But seconds after turning his back, the man steps back into the restaurant, runs after the manager and attacks him with what appeared to be a pocketknife, according to investigators. The manager was stabbed three times in the arm and upper torso. He was rushed to the hospital where he was treated and released. *--- Now that's a good investment ---* A New York auction house said a 15th century Chinese bowl bought for $35 at a yard sale was auctioned for $721,800. Sotheby's said the small floral bowl, purchased from a Connecticut yard sale for $35, had been expected to sell for up to $500,000 when it was sold as part of the auction house's Asia Week, but it exceeded expectations by fetching a top bid of $721,800. The selling price was nearly 29,000 times the price that it was purchased for at the yard sale. The seller, who was not identified, told Sotheby's he bought the bowl at a New Haven yard sale in 2020 and sent photos to auction specialists to determine whether it was potentially a valuable antique. The porcelain bowl was identified as a "lotus bowl" from the court of the Yongle Emperor, who ruled from 1403 until 1424. Sotheby's said only six other lotus bowls from the same period are known to still exist. *--- Dog driver blamed for crashing owner's Jeep A Jeep crashed into a building in Wisconsin and the incident is being blamed on the inexperience of the vehicle's driver: a dog. Sturgeon Bay Police said officers responded to art museum Pearl of Door County, where a Jeep had crashed into the building. The vehicle's owner told police his Jeep had been parked at a gas station while he went across the street to the Sunflower Bakery, and when he came outside the vehicle had crashed into Pearl. The owner said his 5-year-old Australian shepherd, Callie, had apparently knocked the shifter out of park and the vehicle rolled into the building. "It's not every day that a dog drives a Jeep across traffic and right in to your business!" Pearl of Door County said in a Facebook post. Police said no one was injured in the crash. Callie's owner said the canine's driving privileges have been permanently revoked. --- ...This happens more than you think! Here's another one: Car CRASHES Into Walmart, You WON’T Believe Who The Driver Is… https://tinyurl.com/hauw694y ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: (( ) ( () ()) \_ ~_/ _(_)(_)_ ==|.------.|=== || o|| |`------'|cjr Did you get your stimulus money yet? I hope you did. Do you have big plans for that good chunk of change? Are you gonna pay some bills, do some home improvements, or splurge on a jet ski? That's a lot of questions, I know! The reason I ask is I've been thinking about the value of money quite a bit over the last year. Plus, it made me think about my grandma. I recall the time she was making stew and she was cutting up some carrots to toss in the pot. My cousin Katie, who was ten or twelve at the time, interrupted her with a question, "Grandma, why don't you just buy a bag of baby carrots instead of peeling and cutting up the big ones?" Grandma, without stopping her food preparation stride, responded, "Oh, sure. And after I toss in those baby carrots I'll have plenty of time to polish my tiara." Boy, did she know that value of a dollar! So where I get money, eat carrots, or wear a tiara, I always think of my grandma. Miss you! Groaningly yours, Steve -<>- ____... .-"--"""".__ `. | ` | ( `._....------.._.: ) .()'' ``(). ' () .==' `=== `-. . ) ( g) ) ) / J ( |. / . ( $$ (. (_'. , )|` || |\`-....--'/ ' \ /||. \\ | | | / / \. //||(\ \`-===-' ' \o. .//7' |) `. -- / ( OObaaaad888b. (<<. / | .a888b`.__.'d\ OO888888888888a. \ Y' | .8888888aaaa88POOOOOO888888888888888. \ \ | .888888888888888888888888888888888888b | | .d88888P88888888888888888888888b8888888. b.--d .d88888P8888888888888888a:f888888|888888b 88888b 888888|8888888888888888888888888\8888888 >Gotta Light? There are three guys in a boat with four cigarettes. They have no matches or anything and were trying to come up with a way to smoke their cigarettes. "I got it!" said the one guy as he threw one of his cigarettes overboard. "Why did you do that?" yelled his buddy. To which he replied, "To make the boat a little lighter." -<>- >A Ventriloquist A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up: "You're making' out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughta punch you in the nose." "I'm sorry sir, I..." "Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little fella on your knee." -<>- >Q and A Quickies Q: Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe? A: Its population is always Dublin. Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A: They're always a little short. Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A: A shamrock! _____________ ( ) | | ( ) %%%%%%% |____-----____| ( ) %%%% %%%% | \___/ | ( ) %%%% %%%% _______________________ ( ) %%% %% %%% \\ // ( ) %% %% (o)(o) %% \\__~~~_______~~~__// ( ) %% ____ %% / \ %% |\ |(0) (0)| /| ( ) % / __ \ %% / \ .. ) % |\ \| (. .) |/ /| ___ %% / / \ \ %% /\__/ %% \ ||| , ||| / [ ] % ( \ \ \/%% / % |||| \_______/=============| | %% \ \__ \/ %% __ %% ||||| --- ||||| \_/ % \ \/ /%% /__\ % ||||| ||||| ||||| %% \__ ' /\ %%// \> %% ||||||||||||||||| %% \ /\ \_%% %% ||||||||||||| %%% \_/ \__/%% %%% ||||||||| %%%% %%%% ||||| %%%% %%%% %%%%%%% Q: Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leaf clovers and not 3-leaf clovers? A: They need all the luck they can get! Q: What's Irish and stays out all night? A: Patty O'furniture! Q: How can Irish people tell when it's summer? A: The rain gets warmer. Q: What do you get if you don't clean your mirror? A: A dirty look. Q: What do you call donating your body to a medical school? A: A Dead Give-away! Q: What do you get when you cross a werewolf with a ceramicist? A: A hairy potter! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ///"\ |6 6| \ - / .@@@. __) (__ @6 6@/ \./ \ @ = @ : : : \ _) (_'| : |) ) /' \./ '\ : |_/ / /\ _ /\ \=o==|) \ \ ) (/ /%|%%' '7/ \7%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | | %%|%% |_.._| /_|_\ pjb During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room. Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, meekness, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't need if you had stayed single." -<>- For the first few months of her co-op job for the state of Georgia, my sister had nothing to do, so she surfed the Web or did crossword puzzles. One day she expressed her boredom to a co-worker. "I know," she complained. "Everyone thinks state workers have it easy. But there's only so much you can pretend you're doing." -<>- As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack-bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a "real" pilot. Still others congratulate me for making it in a male- dominated field. One day, I was in the restroom before a flight. I was at the sink, brushing my teeth, when a woman walked through the door and looked over at me. "My sister would be so proud of you!" she remarked. "Oh, is your sister an airline pilot too?" I asked. With a confused expression the woman said, "No. She's a dentist." -<>- _ |-| |~| |:| WINE AND CHEESE .'.'. / ::\ |_____| __ _ |:.:;.| <:__:> .-'o\ |_____| \ ::/ .o' O. o\ | ::| '..' |--o.--o--| | ;:| || |._._o_._.| \_____/ .''. '----' pjb A woman came home from the store with two cases of beer, three bottles of wine, a bottle of whiskey and two loaves of bread. "Are we expecting company?" her husband asked. "No," she replied. "Then why did you buy so much bread?" -<>- Why is two times ten the same as two times eleven? Because two times ten is twenty and two times eleven is twenty, too. -<>- ( ____ .-. .-""-. .'` _ `'-,//`|-. / ,-'-.`. | \ `. ( `\ | ` \ \ `.) \ | \_@ .=` \ | | / .=\ \ | / \ | | .\ ,____ ==; | \ __.-;.__.'--'`"-, | | `"` / _ \ '=| | | _.' \_) / / | \ ( _ '=_.' | \ \ .-`` `---'` | _ \ \ | = , , / ,_( )) ) `| \__.-'` / \' / .--. /` |nnn / \ / =/ \ ( jgs / ;""""`nn| ( \_ \ ) (nnn__.' '-nnn-' _( |` `"""` How do you get down from an elephant? You don't get down from an elephant, you get down from a goose. -<>- What's the different between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of paws; while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause. -<>- Longtime friends were celebrating their 50th anniversary. One of their sons gave a loving toast, finishing with, "and thank you for having such a beautiful marriage." "Thank you for making it necessary," the father joked. In the silence that followed, his wife whispered, "Not him. He's the second son." -<>- Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog Skipper had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?" ========================================================= >-->From JokeCentral: _______ ,-' `.__ ( `._ ) __ __ ) / .-/_,'._\-. ( / /,'d e_e b`.\ \ / &' \ - / `& `._ ( __) (__ ) \ .-' `-' `-. / \ ,'\ / \ /`. / j/ ,'Y Y`. \ j (_}' |_______| `.{_) \\ / \ // " / Y \ " `----^----' \ | / ( | ) \ | / )|( &=Y=& hjw (_/ \_) _____________ >Childhood Of Yore I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to the time when: Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo." Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!" "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly. Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening. It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. Being old referred to anyone over 20. The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter. The worst thing you could catch from the opposite s%x was cooties. It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb. It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn't an Olympic event. Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot. Nobody was prettier than Mom. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better. It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park. Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true. Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog- dare." Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures. No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home. "Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense. Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles. The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team. War was a card game. Water balloons were the ultimate weapon. Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle. Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin. Ice cream was considered a basic food group. -<>- >Hilary Clinton A stock broker, on his way home from work in New York City, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems worse than usual." He notices a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer, what's the hold up?" The officer replies, "Hillary Clinton is depressed, so she stopped her motorcade and is threatening to douse herself in gasoline and set herself on fire. She says her husband is running around on her more than ever and the Democrats told her to forget about running for president in 2024! So we're taking up a collection for her." The stock broker asks, "How much have you got so far?" The officer replies, "About 4 1/2 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning." -<>- >Tail Gunner A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy. "I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California," he answered nervously. "They've got race riots, drugs, the highest crime rate in the country..." "Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and it's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said, "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death! But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. By the way, what do you do for a living?" "Me?" said the first, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck." -<>- ,-----. #,-. ,-.# () a e () ( (_) ) #\_ - _/# ,' `"""` `. ,' \X/ `. / X ____\ / v ,` v `, / / ( <==+==> ) `-._/|__________\ ^ / (\\) |______@____\ ^ / \\ | ( ) \ ^ / ) | \^/ ( | |v <(^)>| | v | | | | ZOT |_.--.__ .--._| `===' `===' >Whine and Complain Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and the chief monk said, "Brother, this is a silent monastery, you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so." Brother John lived in the monastery for 5 years before the chief monk said to him: "Brother John, you have been here 5 years now, you may speak two words." Brother John said, "Hard Bed." "I'm sorry to hear that" the chief monk said. "We will get you a better bed." After another 5 years, Brother John was called by the chief monk. "You may say another two words Brother John." "Cold Food," said Brother John, and the chief monk assured him that the food would be better in the future. On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the chief monk again called Brother John into his office. "What are your two words you want to say today." "I Quit." said Brother John. "I'm not surprised," said the chief monk. "You've done nothing but whine and complain since you got here." -<>- >Software Engineering At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer: "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?" Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay aboard. With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off. -<>- .".".". (` `) _.-=-. '._.--.-; .-` -' '. .-'`.o ) \ / .-_.--' `\ `;---) \ ; / / ;' _-_.-' ` `;"` ; \ ; . .' _-' \ ( ) | | / .-.-' -` '-.-' \ | .' ` '.-'-\` /_./\_.|\_\ ; ' .'-'.-. / '-._ \` / _;-, | .-=-.;-._ \ -'-, \ / `";`-`,-"`) \ \ '-- `\.\ '. '._ '-- '--'/ `-._ `'----'`; `"""--.____,/ \\ \ // /` ___// /__ jgs (`(`(---"-`) >Tony the Rooster This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Tony. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Tony the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Tony. The farmer takes Tony home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Tony seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Tony takes off like a shot. WHAM! Tony nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Tony is in there. Later, the farmer sees Tony after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Tony out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Tony on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Tony, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Tony opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh .. they're getting closer." -<>- .--._..--. ___ ( _'-_ -_.' _.-' `-._| - :- | _.-' `--...__| .-' '--..___ / `._ \ `. `._ | `. `._ / '. `._ :__________....-----' `..`---' |-_ _- |___...----..._ |_....--' `.`. _...--' `.`. _..-' _.'.' .-' _.'.' | _.'.' | __....------'-' | __...------''' _| '--''' |- - _ | _.-''''''''''''''''''-._ _.' |\ .' _.' | `._ |:.' `._ _.' | `..__ | | `---.._.--. _| | | _ - | `-.._|_.' .--...__ | - _| .'_ `--.....__ | .'_ `--..__ .'_ `. .'_ `-. `--..____ _`. ```--...____ _..--' ;;;:::. (\| - _ ```---.._.' .. ;::| - _ |/) ;;;:::. (o) ;;::., |_ - - |;;;: (\'/) ::;; (o) | -_ -_L ``::;;;. .;;' (\ '/) | -_ _ G (o) ..;; ''' ;:;;.,|(o) _-B(\'/) ;;;;::: ;::(\'/);;:|;:; ;' >Wilderness Guide "We pass this way but once," we have heard it said. But my wife has learned that, unless I've studied a map, that isn't necessarily true. So I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into. His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray. "You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!" they asserted. "I am," he said, "but I think we're in Wyoming now." ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) World's Most Expensive Paintings! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/expensivepaintings.html WaterCar's Panther!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/panther.html Shopping With Men!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menshopping.html World's Best Cinemas!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cinemas.html Humorous Signs 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns2.html Taking A Catnap 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catnap2.html Did You See That 2?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seethat2.html Life's Little Oops 13!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops13.html Got A Nanosecond 4?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano4.html Look Who's Talking 9!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking9.html Thoughts Into Action 7!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action7.html My How You've Grown!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grown.html Up Close And Personal 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/personal3.html Right Angle Photography 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto2.html MacGyver - How To Do It 6!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver6.html Sunken Treasure In A Field!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/steamboat.html World's Most Extreme Stairs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/extremestairs.html Mysteries Around The World!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldmysteries.html The eleMMent Palazzo Mobil RV!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv2.html World's Largest Monastic Library!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/library.html Beautiful England!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/england2.html Spring Index!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/springindex.html -<>- Revisiting... >From Our Friend Linda :) Mommy's Kiss https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAyVIfv0Zsk Splish Splash Baby! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALON4wRj3i4 I'm A redneck Baby! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FljdY5jV4nA Funny Born To Be Wild Baby! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aku1XE5wHMY Greaser Baby! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUssuO1ubZY --- ...LMAO! Oh for goodness sake - These are so Funny! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) I Stand In Awe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMh02JeR5PU Amish Classic: Pizza Loaf Revisted - Amish 365: Amish Recipe http://www.amish365.com/amish-classic-pizza-loaf-revisted/ --- ...Beautiful And Yummy! Thanks Melody! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Hasbro announced they are making a new version of Monopoly to appeal to a younger generation. That means it won't come with any cash, so you'll have to borrow some from your parents' Monopoly set." -Jimmy Fallon "There are some accusations that Silicon Valley discriminates against people because of their age. Elderly groups are so furious about this that they plan to send Silicon Valley an angry fax." -Conan O'Brien "A man in Austria yesterday tried to enter a court with a bag of cockroaches. 'Get those horrible creatures out of here!' said the cockroaches about the lawyers." -Seth Meyers "This week, Wisconsin is hosting the U.S. Cheese Championship. Once again, the winner is expected to be 'Heart Disease.'" -Conan O'Brien "According to a new study, cats may have more potential than dogs to sniff out bombs. They just won't bother to tell you." -Seth Meyers "The Centers for Disease Control reminds you, still the best way to avoid contracting an STD is to get really into Dungeons and Dragons in high school." -Jimmy Kimmel >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $26 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all web site list readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe **********************************************************************