Snuggling On The Beach And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2011 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2011 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our friend PatDeE sent us a couple of forwards that I turned into our newest hot tottie paqe. Sure to bring some SMILES your way! Give it time to load and do watch the sweet video! __..--.._ ..... .--~ ..... `. .": "`-.. . .' ..-'" :". ` ` `._ ` _.'`"( `-"'`._ ' _.' ' ~~~ `. ~~~ .' / ( ^---' Lester Did You See That? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seethat.html --- ...I loved this one! Thanks PatDeE! ============================================================== >-->From TheFunnyBone: Stealing A Mercedes _.=;;=._ .:-'`||`'-:. // || \\ Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes || || || Benz, and after a long trial, the jury || ,//\\, || acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came \\,//' '\\,// back to the judge who had presided at the './.____.\.' hearing. jgs `------' "Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?" "Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole." ================================================================== +------------------ Bizarre Town Names --------------------+ Horneytown, North Carolina Whynot, North Carolina Hicksville, Ohio Knockemstiff, Ohio Slaughterville, Oklahoma Idiotville, Oregon Virginville, Pennsylvania Sweet Lips, Tennessee Ding Dong, Texas Looneyville, Texas Butts, Virginia Imalone, Wisconsin Toad Suck, Texas Intercourse, Pennsylvania Unalaska, Alaska French Lick, Indiana ================================================================== >-->From ArcaMax Jokes: _a/~~~\a_ / \___/ \ @\__/@a@\__/a `a/ \@g@/ \@' \_ Y _/' ~`=/@\='~ Miki Janosi >The Soccer Stars A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer. "We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it. They're pretty good at it too." "Very clever!" remarks the other patron. Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those darn blind kids from the bus?" "Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being refered to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?" "Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window, "but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the heck out of my best milk cow!" -<>- >For the Sick A little 9 year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said, " Can we leave now?" "No." her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Well, then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about 2 minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes," replied the little girl. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy," she replied. "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick.'" -<>- >Blood Race The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Carolina to see who would donate the most blood. After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put a Band-Aid on that arm as well. As he left the collection facility, the lieutenant passed a colonel. Noting the two bandages, he looked at the first lieutenant and shook his head, saying, "I knew you young guys would find some way to cheat." -<>- __ \ \ \ \ \ \ \/`\ | \ _+,_ \ (_[____]_ '._|.-._.-._] ///////////////////// ^^jgs^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^'-' '-'^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >Retired Preacher A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard work. Needing a lawn mower, he headed into town to buy one. On the way he saw a sign advertising a lawn mower for sale. He stopped at the house and a young lad came out to greet him. The preacher asked about the lawn mower and the kid said it was behind the house. The two went to look at the lawn mower. The engine was sputtering along at idle speed. The preacher increased the speed of the engine and mowed a few strips. Satisfied that the mower would do the job they settled on a price of $25.00. Later in the day, the young lad was riding his bicycle when he spied the preacher pulling on the engine starter rope. The kid stopped and watched for a couple of minutes. He asked, "What's wrong?" The reply came, "I can't get this mower started. Do you know how?" The kid said, "Yep." "Well, how do you do it? Tell me!", the preacher yelled. The kid replied, "You have to cuss it." The preacher rose up indignantly. "Now you listen here. I am a preacher and if I ever did cuss, not saying I have, I've forgotten how to do it after all these years." With a wise look on his face well beyond his years, the kid said, "Preacher, you keep on pulling that rope and it'll all come back to ya." -<>- >Medical Experiments The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced a new standard for medical testing. Testing on rats will be terminated, and in the future live animal testing will be performed using lawyers. The NIH presented the following explanation for its decision: 1. Some lab assistants were becoming quite attached to their rats, and it was important to find an alternative which would not inspire emotional involvment. 2. The population of attorneys grows at a faster rate than the population of rats. 3. Lawyers contribute less to society, and thus are more expendable than rats. 4. Animal rights societies do not oppose experimentation on lawyers. 5. There are some things even a rat won't do. The NIH is trying to resolve concerns raised by this change, that using lawyers for testing may render it more difficult to extrapolate test results to human beings. -<>- >Satellite Dish Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish. Doctor: Don't worry I can cure him. Wife: I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel. =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) My score was 19, I missed #3. Gee, I always hated that little possum! MEMORY TEST! (Have a paper and pencil handy to record your answers. Your mind isn't as sharp as it once was!) This is NOT a pushover test. It's a Baby Boomer era test! There are 20 questions. Average score is 12. This one will be difficult for the younger set. (Does that let all of us out?) Have fun, but no peeking! When you forward this to your friends/family, put your score in the subject line. Good luck, youngsters. 1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways? A. Flintstones vitamins B. The Buttmaster C. Spaghetti D. Wonder Bread E. Orange Juice F. Milk G. Cod Liver Oil 2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was... A. Sugar Ray Robinson. B. Roy Orbison. C. Gene Autry. D. Rudolph Valentino. E. Fabian. F. Mickey Mantle. G. Cassius Clay. We Have Met the Enemy And.... ___ __..--'' \ ___..--'' \ ___..--'' \ __..--'' \ \ __..--\ \ __..--'' __..--\-._ \ __..--'' __..--'' '-._ \ __..--'' __..--'' \ _..--\__..--'' __..--'' | / \__..--'' __..__ .' | __..--'' ''--..__.' \ __..--'' .:` `:. \ \ _..--'' .:` `:. | `. _.-' `:. \ `-.___.-' .-=-. | / .-=. / .--.\ .-=-. / / / /.-. \ | /####\| / .--.\ | | | | | \ \ \####// | /####\| / \/ / \ | `-.__.` \ \####// |/ / \ \ `--._...--. \| / `. \ \| / | \| | \ `-._ / `. `-.._ / `. _.:` `. __..--'' \ / | | LGB 3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, "We have met the enemy and.... A. It's you. B. He is us. C. It's the Grinch. D. He wasn't home. E. He's really me and you. F. We quit. G. He surrendered. 4. Good night, David. A. Good night, Chet. B. Sleep well. C. Good night, Irene. D. Good night, Gracie.. E. See you later, alligator. F. Until tomorrow. G. Good night, Steve. 5. You'll wonder where the yellow went... A. When you use Tide. B. When you lose your crayons. C. When you clean your tub. D. If you paint the room blue. E. If you buy a soft water tank. F. When you use Lady Clairol. G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent. 6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend... A. Stuart Whitman. B. Randolph Scott. C. Steve Reeves. D. Maynard G. Krebs. E. Corky B. Dork. F. Dave the Whale. G. Zippy Zoo. 7. Liar, liar... A. You're a liar. B. Your nose is growing. C. Pants on fire. D. Join the choir. E. Jump up higher. F. On the wire. G. I'm telling Mom. 8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and..... A. Wheaties. B. Lois Lane. C. TV ratings. D. World peace. E. Red tights. F. The American way. G. News headlines. 9. Hey kids! What time is it? A. It's time for Yogi Bear. B. It's time to do your homework. C. It's Howdy Doody Time. D. It's time for Romper Room. E. It's bedtime. F. The Mighty Mouse Hour. G. Scooby Doo Time. 10. Lions and tigers and bears... A. Yikes. B. Oh, no. C. Gee whiz. D. I'm scared... E. Oh my. F. Help! Help! G. Let's run. 11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone... A. Over 40. B. Wearing a uniform. C. Carrying a briefcase. D. Over 30. E. You don't know. F. Who says, 'Trust me'. G. Who eats tofu. 12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings... A.. Troy Aikman B. Kenny Stabler C. Joe Namath D. Roger Staubach E. Joe Montana F. Steve Young G. John Elway 13. Brylcream... A. Smear it on. B. You'll smell great. C. Tame that cowlick. D. Grease ball heaven. E. It's a dream. F. We're your team. G. A little dab'll do ya. 14. I found my thrill... A. In Blueberry muffins. B. With my man, Bill. C. Down at the mill. D. Over the windowsill. E. With thyme and dill. F. Too late to enjoy. G. On Blueberry Hill. 15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by... A. Clark Gable. B. Mary Martin. C. Doris Day. D. Errol Flynn. E. Sally Fields. F. Jim Carrey. G. Jay Leno. 16. Name the Beatles... A. John, Steve, George, Ingo B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel G. John, Paul, George, Ringo 17. I wonder, wonder, who. A. Who ate the leftovers? B. Who did the laundry? C. Was it you? D. Who wrote the book of love? E. Who I am? F. Passed the test? G. Knocked on the door? 18. I'm strong to the finish... A. Cause I eats my broccoli. B. Cause I eats me spinach. C. Cause I lift weights. D. Cause I'm the hero. E. And don't you for get it. F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me. G. To outlast Bruto. 19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today. A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera. B. Smile, you're on Star Search. C. Smile, you won the lottery. D. Smile, we're watching you. E. Smile, the world sees you. F. Smile, you're a hit. G. Smile, you're on TV. 20. What do M & M's do? A. Make your tummy happy. B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.. C. Make you fat. D. Melt your heart.. E. Make you popular. F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand. G. Come in colors. Below are the right answers: 1. D - Wonder Bread 2. G - Cassius Clay 3. B - He Is us 4. A - Good night, Chet 5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent 6. D - Maynard G. Krebs 7. C - Pants on fire 8. F - The American Way 9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time 10. E - Oh my 11. D - Over 30 12. C - Joe Namath 13. G - A little dab'll do ya 14. G - On Blueberry Hill 15. B - Mary Martin 16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo 17. D - Who wrote the book of Love 18. B - Cause I eats me spinach 19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera 20. F - Melt in your mouth not in your hand Don't forget to put your score in the subject line, when you forward this on. --- ...I missed 5 of them! C'est La Vie! Thanks Sandi! ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) ,%/7\\` (/// .\\) (((( - ))) ((|)_*_/((( ))(/) (\((|) ((((\___/))(\ / ,-) (-. \ ( ( ( _ _ ) ) ) \ \ )^ ^ ^( / / ) y y ( \( )/ \_______/ \ / / y / ( ' \ \ \ y-._ hjw |\,' X-' _,T-) / (__,-%_/ >IMPORTANT MESSAGE You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, my thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to Mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts. Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to Me next? When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and Me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', Look again - was it lifted from you? THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere Every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS! P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband. I thought this was too 'important' not to pass on. Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart. Always remember to Laugh!! Helps the heart AND the wrinkles!! Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do that???? --- ...Wowsers! LOL! Thanks Johanna! ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ... .... .. ... .. ...... . ........__ _ ... ......|__| _,--'M @ /|. . ,'MMI;:. ,d888b, |.\ / |\ /MWI;; W J8888888L |' \ /^^|^\ ,'MWI; WW 888888888 |. o\ __/___|__\_ ,-'MWI;:. WI; -----------------------------------|. L\-``--------'--'_MWI;:. WWI; - -__--__--__--__ - \. \ `---. WI;:. - __--__--__-- _ |: :. `/|--- _ -__--__--_ - |: ::. ,''/ - _--__- _ |/ ::. /: | ___ _ --__ - /' :`--.______.-:: / ###\ _ -_ - /' ._ . `` ' `-_ ,--' --__ _,-' _/. .... . . ___.---.__.-'-. -_ __,--/' __.'#`-._____.----'::::::::::::::# A place of storm, cruel `---'`````##::::::::::::::::::::::::::: My world of water where nature rules `````::::::::::::#######: -- But also a world of peace, to heal your soul --------- Seal 1995 - So, maybe there you can find love And then my world becames your world >Snuggling on the Beach.... This unique video is of a tourist who sat on the beach to watch the seals and penguins on Gold Harbor, South Georgia. Unexpectedly, one of the seals is apparently attracted to her and, slowly works his way over to her. He seems to 'falls in love' and snuggles and flirts with her. It is quite an unusual and interesting scene. The seals are huge (6,000 lbs), yet she never seemed afraid...more amused...while someone shot the video of this incident. Gold Harbor, South Georgia, is located off the southern tip of South America. (sub arctic) It is a small bay five miles S-SW of Cape Charlotte, with Bertrab Glacierat its head, along the east end of Georgia. The west end of the beach where a glacial stream flows is a breeding ground for various types of penguins and large seals....It is not a frequent destination for tourists. See the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX7PTn1HbOA --- ...Awww, How very sweet and beautiful! Thank You PatDeE! -<>- ____ ___|=--=/ \=--=| :(___.--. .--.___): { __ ' ) ( ` __ )= ""----'Ahas '----"" ====' >SHOE BOMBER Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV or Radio? Didn't think so.!!! Everyone should hear what the judge had to say. Ruling by Judge William Young, US District Court. Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say His response: After admitting his guilt to the court for the record, Reid also admitted his 'allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah,' defiantly stating, 'I think I will not apologize for my actions,' and told the court 'I am at war with your country.' Judge Young then delivered the statement quoted below: Judge Young: 'Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you. On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutively. (That's 80 years.) On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years again, to be served consecutively to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon you for each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 that's an aggregate fine of $2 million. The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines. The Court imposes upon you an $800 special assessment. The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need go no further. This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes. It is a fair and just sentence. It is a righteous sentence. Now, let me explain this to you. We are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is too much war talk here and I say that to everyone with the utmost respect. Here in this court, we deal with individuals as individuals and care for individuals as individuals. As human beings, we reach out for justice. You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier, gives you far too much stature. Whether the officers of government do it or your attorney does it, or if you think you are a soldier, you are not----- you are a terrorist. And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not meet with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists. We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice. So war talk is way out of line in this court You are a big fellow. But you are not that big. You're no warrior. I've known warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal that is guilty of multiple attempted murders. In a very real sense, State Trooper Santiago had it right when you first were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and the TV crews were, and he said: 'You're no big deal.' You are no big deal. What your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What was it that led you here to this courtroom today? I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing? And, I have an answer for you. It may not satisfy you, but as I search this entire record, it comes as close to understanding as I know. It seems to me you hate the one thing that to us is most precious. You hate our freedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose. Here, in this society, the very wind carries freedom. It carries it everywhere from sea to shining sea. It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom, so that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely. It is for freedom's sake that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf, have filed appeals, will go on in their representation of you before other judges. We Americans are all about freedom. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties. Make no mistake though. It is yet true that we will bear any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms. Look around this courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here. The day after tomorrow, it will be forgotten, but this, however, will long endure. Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America , the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done. The very President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice. See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America . That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag stands for freedom. And it always will. Mr. Custody Officer. Stand him down. So, how much of this Judge's comments did we hear on our TV sets? We need more judges like Judge Young. Pass this around. Everyone should and needs to hear what this fine judge had to say. Powerful words that strike home. Please SEND this----so that everyone has a chance to read it. --- ...An Awesome one! Thank You PatDeE! In light of the recent Russian suicide bombing, I wish them all the justice they so rightly deserve - by Christ Jesus Our Lord! Reminds me of Gen.3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Check out this teaching for understanding: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/christianity.html ================================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From Conservative OutPost: **The Obama Quickstep** The lamestream has proclaimed the genius of Barack Obama’s apparent shift to the right. There may be some brain-addled conservatives who have taken Barry’s recent outreach to Republicans to heart. In fact though, I don’t think you’ll find many conservatives out here at all that would trust the ‘new’ Obama, who is once again pretending to be the centrist he ran on in 2008. We saw how long that lasted. This apparent move to the right is every bit as ephemeral as Obama’s middle class tax-cuts and just about as sincere. Obama will never stray very far from his radical communist upbringing. It’s deeply ingrained in his psyche. It shows in his every move, in his every utterance. It’s apparent in every association he has. READ MORE>>> -<>- >From Taipan Daily: Snakes in the Cornfield http://tinyurl.com/6j27293 If China Has a Hard Landing http://tinyurl.com/6253njm -<>- >From NewsMax: Rush Limbaugh Wants Obama Birth Certificate Released http://tinyurl.com/68oo6cx Hawaii Won't Release Obama Birth Certificate http://tinyurl.com/6xuwoum -<>- >From BizarreNews: What would you do if the fuel pump in your Ford van wasn't working? Probably call a tow truck. Do you know why? Because you're not from Washington. People in Washington don't waste time and money on things like tow trucks just because their vehicles don't run. They take matters into their own hands. Take these three creative problem-solvers, for example. Two men and a women were having trouble keeping their Ford Econoline van running. So filling a bucket (a bucket, mind you) with gasoline, they removed the engine cowling between the two front seats of the van and used a water bottle to transfer gas from the bucket directly into the carburetor in order to keep the engine running as they drove to a shop. Using this Jerry-rigged system they actually made a good bit of progress before the van decided to die on Kamber Road in Bellevue. Not being ones to admit defeat they tried to start the van again. Unfortunately, by this time, the van was full of gas fumes. The resulting explosion engulfed the entire vehicle in flames. Witnesses told police the woman jumped out the back of the van and fell to the ground on fire, and the van rolled over her leg. The two men jumped out in flames and ran toward the gas station on the corner desperate to get their fires out. Firefighters were able to get the van fire out within minutes and medics took the three victims to the hospital. They are still there. The van still isn't running. -- Man wears unwashed jeans for 15 months -------- EDMONTON, Alberta - The jeans a University of Alberta student wore daily for 15 months without washing them tested normal for bacteria levels at the end of the experiment. In Edmonton, student Josh Le, 20, told Postmedia News he bought the denim jeans in September 2009 and wore them daily -- and sometimes slept in them -- until last December. He said he used paper towels and napkins to dab away food spills and maintained his normal personal hygiene routine during the 15 months. Every two weeks, he said he put the jeans in a freezer overnight and there never was a trace of odor. At the conclusion of the experiment, he and assistant human ecology Professor Rachel McQueen ran tests on the pants and found bacteria levels were the same as any other samples, the report said. -- Texas man sets record for golf rounds --------- DALLAS - A Texas man says he has attained his goal of setting a world record by playing 600 rounds of golf in one year. Richard Lewis set out to last year to get his name in the Guinness Book of Records by playing up to 56 holes of golf a day, WFAA-TV, Dallas/Fort Worth, reported. "These feet have walked 4,000 miles," Lewis, who refused to use a golf cart for his record attempt, said. "I'm addicted; what can I say?" "If nobody knew about this, I would be just as satisfied, because I know I did it and no one else in the whole wide world has ever done it," he said. "That is special to me." Lewis, 64, admits his obsession with the sport led to two divorces, but that the golf course is the place that makes him happiest. "You have to be a little over the edge to do this," Lewis concedes. The Guinness Book of Records required Lewis to sign in and out with golf pros to prove he had completed each round. In the end he played 611 rounds of golf, 11 more than he expected. His average score per round was 78.5. -<>- >From Archived 11/07 CoffeeBreak: Brit study: Tea integral to construction A study of British tea-drinking habits at the workplace has found builders require about 9,500 cups of tea to build an average three-bedroom semi-detached home. The study, which was based on data collected from more than 100 construction firms, found 68 percent of questioned employees say they believe tea has relaxing and stress-relieving properties that are beneficial to productivity, The Scotsman reported Monday. The research, commissioned by tea company Make Mine a Builders, suggested British construction workers take an average four tea breaks each day. "Tea has been the drink of choice for builders in the (Britain) for many years, and as the survey results show it still plays an important role in the daily life of British builders today," said Richard Gowar, managing director of the tea firm. "It is great to know that we are keeping the tradition alive." The study said at least 4 million cups of tea are believed to have been required for the construction of the Scottish parliament. The Scotsman estimated about 2,500 cups of tea are needed to put out an edition of the newspaper. Thief poses as charity bell-ringer Police in Frederick, Md., are investigating the theft of a Salvation Army collection can and its subsequent illegal use. Maj. Raymond Pruitt, commander of the Frederick Salvation Army, said police are trying to locate the missing can and two of the official bells used by workers to attract the attention of potential donors, the Frederick News-Post reported Monday. The organization has received reports that someone with the stolen can and one of the bells was spotted Wednesday night outside a McDonald's and Friday at Kohl's and other stores. Pruitt said the can and bells were taken from a Safeway market Wednesday night. "We went to retrieve it and it was gone," he said. Pruitt said it was the first time in his 14 years with the Salvation Army that a stolen collection can was being used for private fundraising. "It is pretty shocking," he said. Pigeon clubs say tax decision clips wings Pigeon enthusiasts' feathers were ruffled when told they must pay business taxes because their pastime wasn't a recognized sport in Britain. Supporters of one club, the Belford Racing Pigeon Club, wrote to Queen Elizabeth II, asking her to intervene in her role as the Patron of the Royal Pigeon Association, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday. The Revenue and Custom office said pigeon racing isn't listed as a sport eligible for business rate relief under the Community Sports Club program, which could cost clubs millions of dollars. Belford club owner and chairman Eric Sim countered that pigeon racing has been recognized as a sport "for well over 100 years" and the rate issue will cause clubs to struggle. The Revenue and Customs office said clubs could seek relief from both the national and local taxing authorities. In his letter to the queen, Berwick-upon-Tweed councilor Geoff O'Connell said, "The racing of homing pigeons has been supported by the royal family for many years," adding that pigeons answered the call during war times and received the Dicken Medal, the animal version of the Victoria Cross, for their efforts. ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: (*) (*) (__) ^ ^ (__) (oo) | | | @(oo)@ [..] | = | [..]@@ \ | U (-) | | | | (-) U @@@@ || ==<_\=====/_|______=_____|=|____________=__|____\====/_>== || || ) |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ( || ||___)==||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||==(___|| |\====| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |====/| | \ | | | | / | = * = = = = * = candlelight dinner cfbd My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old's antics and pounded the table. Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never eat out with us again!" The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look dear," he said. "Quality time!" -<>- An American history teacher, lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked: "What sort of people were punished in the stocks?" To which a small voice from the back of the room responded: "The small investor." -<>- My name, Leone, is a feminine spelling of Leon, which often causes confusion. When my car registration arrived marked "M" for male, I sent it back to the motor-vehicle bureau with this request: "I am an 'F.' Would you please make the correction?" The bureau promptly sent me another form. It read: "Please give the reason for this change." [Thanks to Reader's Digest.] -<>- After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back." -<>- A young man took a farm girl into town for a date at a fancy restaurant. While studying the menu she asked, "What's filet mignon?" Thinking fast, her date replied, "It's pickled goat's liver. Why?" -<>- Lisa, my co-worker at the travel agency, needed to send a letter of apology to a customer whose trip was a complete fiasco from start to finish. I reminded her of a similar situation a year earlier and dug out the letter I'd written then. "All you have to do," I told her, "is to change the details, the date, and the name." She looked it over and smiled wryly. "We won't even need to change the name." -<>- In my job as an electronics salesman, I've seen the rise in popularity of sport-utility vehicles and minivans, which has created a market for rear-seat entertainment. Monitors that keep passengers occupied with movies and television have been selling like crazy. One day as I was showing a young couple how a monitor could play videos, DVD's, and even pick up local TV stations, the husband asked matter-of-factly, "Does it get cable?" ============================================================ >-->From AndyChaps: ** Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** ______ .-' . . .'-. / ' \ ' \ | ' \ ' | | : () : | | . . | \ . . . . / `-.______.-' )( / \ / ?? \ (weight) ___)____(___ jgs [____________] ** "My doctor asked me if I'd thought about losing some weight. I told him I'd thought about it for 20 years." ** Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil. But you still don't want to get any on you. ** "The school is not the end but only the beginning of an education." -- Calvin Coolidge ** "Be a lifelong student. The more you learn, the more you earn and the more self-confidence you have." -- Brian Tracy ** "Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use." ~~-- Charles Schultz ** "Love is like an hour glass - the heart fills up and the brain goes empty." ** Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron. --George Carlin ** “I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.”~~--Charlie Brown ** "An attitude of calm, confident expectation activates your creativity and unlocks your mental powers." -- Brian Tracy ** "If your cup runneth over, expand your cup." -- Mark Victor Hansen ** "If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim"." -Lyndon B. Johnson ** “I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.” --Anon. ** If it be a sin to covet honor, I am the most offending soul.” --Shakespeare -<>- ** Carrier Landings ** FLYING into a Middle East airport, my co-pilot and I reviewed our flight plan for the trip back to the USS Enterprise. We were to pick up a Navy captain, and experience had taught me that even seasoned vets turn white-knuckled during carrier landings. Once the captain was strapped in, I turned around to welcome him aboard. "Sir," I asked, "will this be your first carrier landing?" Looking at me with disdain, he opened his inflatable vest to display gold wings above five rows of ribbons. "Son," he said, "I have over 500 carrier landings in jet fighters." "That's good to hear," my co-pilot said, winking at me, "because this will be our first." --Contributed to "Humor In Uniform" by Lt. Kenneth J. Tonelli Provided courtesy of Reader's Digest (http://www.rd.com). -<>- ** The Blonde Has A Job Interview ** A blonde goes in for a job interview. The hiring manager asked, "How old are you?" She begins counting her fingers and toes and answers I'm 20. He then asks her, "How tall are you?" She begins measuring herself from the feet up and answers, "I'm 5'6." He then asks, "What is your name?" She closes her eyes and starts silently singing to herself and then answers, "My name is Kathy." Puzzled the hiring manager asks her, "I understand you counting to get your age, and measuring to get your height, but what did you do to make you remember your name?" She answers, "I was singing 'Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Kathy!" -<>- .'''. '(("""))' '((O.O))' '; o ;' .("|((, / | || (_ | |/ ,'..,' : ScS @[.,..' \ `, | | | ** Please... Describe Labor Pain ** A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?" The doctor answered, "That varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..." "Like this?" "A little more..." "Like this?" "No. A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?" "A little bit." "Now stretch it over your head!" -<>- ** The Washington D.C. Mugger ** Late one night in the Washington D.C. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!" -<>- ** Men Shopping ** A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?" "No," he answered. "I'm only after one thing." As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, "Just like a man." -<>- ** Rest In Peace ** The new business was opening and a buddy of one of the owner's sent some flowers for the happy occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the proud owner read the note which said, "Rest in Peace". Now this really ticked him off, so he promply called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and the bereaved there have flowers, also with a note, saying, "Congratulations on your new location." -<>- ** Take the Easy Part First ** Nathan had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on American History. The big night had arrived. Nathan made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The M.C. stepped up to the microphone... "Nathan, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?" Nathan nodded with a cocky confidence and the crowd went nuts. He hadn't missed a single question all week. "Nathan, your question on American History is a two part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is almost always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?" Nathan was now becoming more and more nervous. He couldn't believe it, but he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject, but he decided to play it safe. . . "I'll try the second part first." The M.C. nodded approvingly. "Here we go Nathan. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half." The audience tensed in silent anticipation...... "Nathan, here is your question: 'And in what year did it happen?!'" -<>- .---. (_---_) (_/6 6\_) ( v ) `\ /' .-'': ;``-. / \,Y./ \ / (:)___ \ : .-'XXX`-.`\_; `.__.-XXX-.__.'\_ / / XXX \ \ `\_ / XXX \ `\ / XXX \ _`\___ jgs / \ (`--"""-') / \ (=-=-=-=-) `--...___ ___...--' (________) ** Subject: Senior Moments ** 1. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then thoughtfully said. "Now I think I know where my hearing aid is." 3. An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000, please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap." 4. A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!" 5. When I went to lunch today, I saw an elderly lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I recently married a handsome husband ten years younger than I am. He is waiting now for me at home. He gives me a big kiss every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee." I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then tells me how wonderful I am all afternoon." I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with my favorite dessert and then tenderly holds my hand while we watch a romantic movie on the TV." I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?" She said, "I can't remember where I live!" 6. Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me...I know we've been friends for a long time...but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" -<>- ** Does Gossip Hurt ** Clara, the church gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know that he was an alcoholic. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He said nothing. Later that evening, George, quietly parked his pickup in front of Clara's house....AND he left it there all night. -<>- _)) > *\ _~ `;'\\__-' \_ | ) _ \ \ These are pretty Baaaaaad ejm97 / / `` w w w w ** Redneck Vasectomy ** (Andy says... this may be a PG piece of humor. It's not bad but parents may want to review it first before passing it down to their children) After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. " "Trust me, " said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1" "2" "3" "4" "5" At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand. This procedure also works in Arkansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, and West Virginia. -<>- ** Husband Shopping Centre ** A "Husband Shopping Centre" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men for her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men. First floor, the door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go. Second floor says, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." The girls agreed, "Hmmm, But, I wonder what's further up?" Then, they went up another floor. Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely goodlooking, love kids and help with the housework.." Wow! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!? And so again, they go up. Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me. But just think!? What must be awaiting us further on! So, up to the fifth floor they go. The sign on the Fifth door said "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day." ================================================================ >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Pencil Head Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pencilart.html Who Is This Jesus? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jesus.html Yearly Friendship Renewal! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/renewal.html It's A Dog's World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsworld.html Jellyfish Lake! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jellyfish.html Newborn Moose! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moose.html Parenting No-No's http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting.html -<>- >From Both Our Friends Sandi And Becky :) They sent us forwards to remind us of a page we already have here... Northern Lights Over Teepees http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teepees.html --- ...A sweet reminder! Thanks Ladies! -<>- >From Our Friend Sandi :) Beautiful Tribute to Michigan Vietnam Vets... http://www.v-prod.com/trailer_vietnam.html --- ...Sweet! Thanks Sandi! -<>- >From Our Friend Johanna :) I ache all over just watching this!!!! Two Girls in a Box - Unbelievable!.... http://www.jokeroo.com/bin/player.swf?5f9f_f369 --- ...Oh My! Contortionists! Argh! Thanks Johanna! -<>- [Also watch "The Math of God's Creation."] Beauty of Mathematics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h60r2HPsiuM&feature=youtube_gdata_player --- ...SWEET! I love It! Thanks Johanna! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) The Trunk Monkey is BACK! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amUbIV-Ti_s --- ...Always good for smiles! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- Why is it I have absolutely no sympathy for these idiots? It was amusing to see quite a few of them knocked unconscious. Perhaps the bulls taught them a lesson about tormenting dumb animals. Doubtful. That's a lot of BULL run: http://www.malhanga.com/videosflash/ --- ...So funny! They actually put themselves out there! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Math Worksheets http://www.math-aids.com/ uber http://www.uber.com/ balance a pencil http://tinyurl.com/6785zw4 --- ...Cool! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Hoppalas Turnen http://www.buffaloschips.com/gcfdrde.htm In God We Trust http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsxs.htm Interessant Eierschlange http://www.buffaloschips.com/awereew.htm You Know That Has To Hurt http://www.buffaloschips.com/aswsw.htm Javelin Live Fire VS T72 http://www.buffaloschips.com/axdxs.htm Voting For Dummies http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkj.htm WMD http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjh.htm Walk Airbag http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkhg.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================= >-->Quotes And Thunkers: "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" --Woody Allen Students at school were asked to write about the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead." "Does anyone know if 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day' is the same day as 'Lock Your Son Up in a Closet Day?' Cause it would really save me some time." --Bob Van Voris We haven't crossed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we stop saying 'It got lost' and say 'I lost it.' --Sydney Harris "Honestly must be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second best policy." -George Carlin "Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them." --Joseph Heller "A committee is a creature with three or more legs and no brain." --Robert Heinlein "I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately." --Mark Twain >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chrristian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? 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