Spring Break... :) Shangy!
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================
*~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com
The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the
ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each
week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While
the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site
down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help!
"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
.--""``` ```""--.
':--..___ ___..--:'
\ ```"""""""``` /
.-` ___.....-----.....___ '-.
.:-""`` ~ ~ ``""-:.
/`-..___ ~ ~ ~___..-'\
/ ~ '`""---.........---""` \
; ;
; '::. ' ~ .:' _. ;
| '::: ' .:' ~ |
|~ .:' . _ ':. |
| .:' ':.~ |
| ':. . ~ . _ .: |
; '::. _ /|| .;' ;
; ': ( } \||D ;
\.:'.:':. | /\__,=_[_] /
\ ':. ~ |_\__ |----| ` /
'. '::.. _ | |/ |--. |_ ~ .'
'-._':' | /_ | | `'-_.-'
jgs (``''--..._____...--''``)
`"--...__ __...--"`
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
>Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel?
If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel,
the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is
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NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item'
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States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like.
EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP!
Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed!
PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help:
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OR If you'd rather send us a donation,
Please MAIL it here:
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502 S. Harrison
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*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT!
================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
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^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :)
-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This flaming hot new page is from our friend LouiseAu. I
don't know about you, but it always amazes me what the rich
spend their money on. This page is a perfect example of their
crazy over indulgence. Just think how far this would go to
help regular families yet was squandered for ones own selfish
reasons. As you can tell, I am not a fan of frivolous spending.
__________________
/ _@___@___@___@_ \
|@/ \@|
| | | |
|@| ,;;;-, |@|
| | /;/))))) | |
|@| (;/ . .(( |@| .-;;;-.
| | ):( > )) | | (((;(::(\
|@| (;)\ = /( |@| ).`\):):)
| | )):) .'):) | | < (:(:(
|@| .:(:\_(_)( |@| = `\:):\
| | /`::) `\ | | '--')(:(:)
|@\_/___________\_/@| )(::)"(
jgs \___@___@___@___@___/ .' (::))
/ / ;;-`
\/ / |
World's Most Expensive Paintings!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/expensivepaintings.html
---
...Astounding! Thanks LouiseAu! Like Paul said, what was paid
for that top painting could have kept 200 families living well
for life!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
|`-._
.-' `-.-;"\.
.--------------------------------..-.. _ .-'\ | /o\ | \\\
|\ ________________________________\\ \\\/ \\ | | ///\
| | __ __ _ __ __ _ __ __ __ ||-||| '. \/ //////|
| | |__|__/_\ |__|__|_| |__|__|__| || ||| ///////|
| | |__|__)__) |__|_| __.--|__| ||_||| . ////////|
| | |__|__|_/ |__|__ _ |__|--'__ | . || \'..'/////////
| | |__| |__|__|_| |__|__|__| |( )|| `--`///////;
\| | ' ||---. ,,,////////////
jgs'---------------------------------'---' `.//////////////'
```=///////='
>Fathers Then and Now
Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today;
but they did have a few advantages:
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.
In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.
Today, it's the size of his minivan.
In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a
success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's
just the vacation home.
In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby
arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make
sure film is in the video camera.
In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked
down an icicle.
In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long
enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.
In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip
cancer.
In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up,
it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake
up, it's time for hockey practice."
In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children
at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's
at gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge."
In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations
while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout,
"WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE.."
In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was
all smiles.
Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I
wanted Sega!"
In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and
ham and potatoes.
Today, it's Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.
In 1900, fathers said, "A man's home is his castle."
Today, they say, "Welcome to the money pit."
In 1900, "a good day at the market" meant Father brought home feed
for the horses.
Today, "a good day at the market" means Dad got in early on an IPO.
In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to
attention.
Today, kids glance up and grunt, "Dad, you're invading my space."
In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters' suitors with shotguns
if the girl came home late.
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, "So...how long have you had
that earring?"
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and National Spinach Day
March 27 is National "Joe" Day
March 28 is Something on a Stick Day and Weed Appreciation Day
March 29 is National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day and Smoke
and Mirrors Day
March 30 is Good Friday, I am in Control Day, National Doctor's Day,
Passover begins at sundown and Take a Walk in the Park Day
March 31 is Bunsen Burner Day, National Clam on the Half Shell Day
and World Backup Day
April 1 is Easter Sunday, April Fool's Day, International Fun at
Work Day and International Tatting Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
__ __
/ \ /| |'-.
.\__/ || | |
_ / `._ \|_|_.-'
| / \__.`=._) (_
|/ ._/ |"""""""""|
|'. `\ | |
;"""/ / | |
jgs ) /_/| |.-------.|
' `-`' " "
>High Maintenance
I'm high maintenance ... I take aspirin for the headache caused by
the Zyrtec I take for the hayfever I got from Relenza from the uneasy
stomach from the Ritalin I take for the short attention span caused
by the Scopederm TS I take for the motion sickness I got from the
Lomotil I take for the diarrhea caused by the Zenikal for the
uncontrolled weight gain from the Paxil I take for the anxiety from
the Zocor I take for my high cholesterol because exercise, a good
diet, and regular care are just too much trouble.
-<>-
>How Kids Work
"I don't think my mom knows much about children."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because she always puts me to bed when I am wide awake and gets me
up when I am sleepy."
-<>-
>Parenting...
I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When
bed-time finally came, I laid down the law: "We're putting
on your pj's, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book.
Then it's lights out!"
Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she
said, "We learned in Sunday school about little boys and
girls who don't have mommies and daddies."
Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was still
grateful to have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my
eyes, and then she whispered, "Maybe you could go be THEIR
mom?"
-<>-
>Spanish Bible
My family was visiting a church and the minister announced
they had both Spanish and English Bibles for use during
the service.
My youngest son tugged at my sleeve and whispered, "Mommy,
I want one of those Spanish Bibles."
"Don't be silly, you can't read Spanish," I quickly rejoined.
Holding out his own Bible to me, my kindergartner explained,
"Mom, I can't read English either."
-<>-
>Shopping Emergency
My mother and my wife, both nurses, were shopping together when a woman
in a nearby dressing room fell unconscious.
Mom discovered that the woman wasn't breathing, so she and my wife started
CPR and revived the shopper just as paramedics arrived. They loaded the
woman onto a gurney and were rolling her out of the store when she yelled,
"Stop!"
My mother and my wife thought maybe she wanted to thank them, but
instead she said, "I still want to buy those dresses."
=========================================================
__, ,___) ______) ,_)
(--|__| _, _ _ (--|__ _, ,-|-_ ,_
_| |(_||_)|_)(_| _|___(_|/_)|(/_|
( | | ,_| (
>-->Easter SMILES:
Q: Is it true that bunnies have good eye sight?
A: Well you never see a bunny wearing glasses, do you?
__
/ \`\ __
| \ `\ /`/ \
\_/`\ \-"-/` /\ \
| | \ |
(d b) \_/
/ \
,".|.'.\_/.'.|.",
/ /\' _|_ '/\ \
| / '-`"`-' \ |
| | | |
| \ \ / / |
jgs \ \ \ / / /
`"`\ : /'"`
`""`""`
Q: What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit?
A: Cheer up!
Q: Why did the farmer feed crayons to his chickens?
A: He wanted them to lay colored eggs!
Q: What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A: Hot cross bunnies!
_ _
/\`\ /`/\
\/\ V /\/
/6 6\
(= Y =)
/`"^"`\
/ .-*-. \
(_/*=*=*\_)
/\*=*=*/\o
jgs ___\ '-*-' /___
(((____/^\____)))
Q: How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
A: EGG-xercise and HARE-robics!
Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
A: Hoppy Easter!
Q: Why was the rabbit rubbing his head?
A: Because he had an eggache! (Headache)
, ,_
)\ \".
/ ) ) \
/ / / /
| | / /
\ | / /
\|-""-//`
/ _ _ \
_| / \/ \ |_
/ `-\0||0/-' \
=\.: ,_()_ :./=
jgs `-._\II/_.-'
`""`
Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a crazy rabbit?
A: One is bad money, the other is a mad bunny!
Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing at you.
Q: Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
A: Because he is eggocentric.
_
\`\ _
\ \ /\ \
\ V /\/ ___
/. .\ .'__(>@<)
=\_T_/= /.' /|\
/ \ || ||
(( )) ||oO0oO||
{/\) (/\ |-=-=-=-|
__\ /__ \=-=-=-=/
jgs (____/^\____) '=-=-='
Q. What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
A. Two points... just like anybody else!
Q: How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?
A: Only one after that it's not empty any more!
Q: How did the Easter Bunny rate the Easter parade?
A: He said it was eggs-cellent!
Q: What is a dog's favorite Easter treat?
A: Jelly bones!
,_ ,_ (\/) _, _,
| '. '. \/ .' .' |
\ \ \ / / /
'.__\_|_ _|_/__.'
/` '. .' `\
/ ^ ) ( ^ \
/ __.' '.__ \
.' (_ _) '.
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/ '.__)(__.' \
; .-. '. .' .-. ;
/`| / '._)(_.' \ |`\
| \ /--. .--\ / |
'--'\ '-.__) (__.-' /'--'
jgs )_____) (______(
Q: Why are people always tired in April?
A: Because they've just finished a March
Q: What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
A: 14 carrot gold.
Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny.
Q: What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket?
A: Colored scrambled eggs!
__ __
| _'-._ _.-'_ |
| '::. '. .' .::' |
\ '::\ \ / /::' /
\ ':\ | | /:' /
'._ ` '---' ` _.'
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`"` `"`
Q: How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!
Q: What did one colored egg say to the other?
A: Heard any good yolks lately?
Q: What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
A: Join the Hare Force.
Q: What's the difference between the Easter Bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.
.-. .-.
/ \ / \
| _ \ / _ |
; | \ \ / / | ;
\ \ \ \_.._/ / / /
'. '.;' ';,' .'
'./ _ _ \.'
.' a __ a '.
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----| \ /\ / |----
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'-,.__/ _ .-. ;|_
/` `|| _/ `\/_ \_|| `\
| ||/ \-./` \ / || |
\ ||__/__|___|__|| /
\_ |_Happy Easter_| /
jgs .' \ = _= _ = _= /`\
/ `-;----=--;--' \
\ _.-' '. /
`""` `""`
Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
A: With a hare-dryer!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
____
_[____]_
( '7')
__)(^_
/ ,C^D,\
/ /||:||\\
\ \|/:\|//
`\\~~~|/
,##\7|\ \
|#| \ \
|#| / /
jgs |#|/_/
|#|\ \
(#_\`'
>SMILES
A man gets a telephone call from a doctor.
The doctor says: "About this medical test I did on you, I have some
good news and some bad news."
The man says: Tell me the good news first
The doctor says: "The good news is that you have 24 hours to live"
The man says: Horrified, "If that is the good news, then what is the
bad news??"
The doctor says: "I couldn't reach you yesterday."
----------
A priest and pastor from the two local churches are standing by the
side of the road, pounding a sign into the ground. It reads, "The
End is Near! Turn yourself around now -- before it's too late!"
"Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yelled a driver as he sped by.
From around the curve, they heard screeching tires -- followed by a
big splash. Then the cursing of the driver!
The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think our sign
should just say 'Bridge Out?'"
----------
A man goes to the opticians.
The receptionist asks him why he is there.
The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man
replies, "No, just spots."
----------
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid,
stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
----------
A new prisoner is placed in his cell. Before long it is time for
"lights out" and the cellblock becomes dark and nearly silent.
Eventually a voice from the darkness cries out: "Twenty-two!" and
everyone breaks out into raucous laughter. A while later another
voice calls out "Forty-one!" and again the entire cellblock hoots
and roars.
The new prisoner asks the guy in the next cell: "What's going on?"
The guy says: "We've been here so long, we all know each other's
jokes. So we assigned numbers to them, and when we want to tell a
joke we just use the number."
The new prisoner decides to give it a try. He calls out: "Eighteen!"
No response whatsoever ... not even a snicker.
The guy in the next cell says: "Some people just don't know how to
tell a joke."
-------
)))))))))
////"""""\ \ / /\ \ / |
//// (o).(o) \/\/ \/ \/\/ |
//(, __ | '
////\ (__) /
////)._____/
jgs / (
A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her
grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get so she
just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.
She says, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this
rod and reel?”
He says, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on
the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”
She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, “That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a
Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It’s a good all around
combination and it’s on sale this week for only $20.00.”
She says, “It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the
sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!”
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
“Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,” he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she
is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind
clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t
know that she was the only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”
The woman is totally confused by this and asks,“Didn’t you tell me
the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did the total come
to $34.50?”
He replies, “Yes, Ma’am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck
call is $11.00 and the bear repellent is $3.50.”
---
...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
.-""""-.
/ \ \
| .'--. |
| /_ _`|
\( a \ a )
| > |
|\ = /
| \___/|
___/: :\__
/` < `\ /` > `\
/ `\ |__| /` \
; [MD] \| |/ |I! ;
jgs | | | |"""| |
| | \ / \___/ |
>An Oldie Goldie
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a check-up, only to find out
that she's pregnant.
She is furious... Here she is -- in the middle of her election
campaign -- now this has happened to her!
She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming:
"You B! How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on
right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can't believe
this! I've just found out I'm five weeks pregnant and it's all your
fault. Well, what have you got to say?"
There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.
She screams again, "Did you hear me?"
Finally, she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice, in a barely audible
whisper: "Who's calling?"
-------
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs
turning gray?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child about good
behavior and obedience and said, “It is because of you, dear. Every
time you misbehave, throw a tantrum or do something mommy asked you
not to do, one of my hairs will turn gray!”
The boy thought for a moment and replied innocently, “Ahh, so now I
know why Grandma has only gray hairs on her head.”
-------
The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of
newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some
good news and some bad news. First, the good news Private Peters
will be setting the pace on our morning run.”
With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Peters was overweight
and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement:
"Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be driving a truck."
---
...HaHAHa! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
Modern American women succeed under Republican economic policies
- The Hill
“Evidence that policies focused on growth and economic mobility
greatly improve the lives of women is everywhere,” fiscal policy
expert Mattie Duppler writes in The Hill. Duppler highlights how
the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act signed by President Donald J. Trump has
improved the landscape for women, whether they are “workers, or
bosses, or stay-at-home moms.”
https://tinyurl.com/y7xc853k
Daily Signal exclusive: Ivanka Trump on jobs, millennials, and #MeToo
- The Daily Signal
Senior leaders from across the Administration—including President Trump
himself—fielded a range of questions Thursday at Generation Next, a
White House forum for millennials. Senior Adviser Ivanka Trump sat down
with The Daily Signal for a Q&A, explaining why she thinks “this is a
moment of incredible opportunity” for women in America.
https://tinyurl.com/y7z3j3fm
House passes bill that would give patients access to experimental drugs
- The New York Times
“The House, spurred on by President Trump, passed a bill on Wednesday
that would give patients with terminal illnesses a right to try unproven
experimental treatments,” Robert Pear reports. Proponents of the bill
say it will “give dying patients a chance to obtain potentially helpful
prescription drugs without waiting for the completion of clinical
trials.”
https://tinyurl.com/ycq4755s
Trump takes part in millennial forum
- USA Today
On Thursday, President Trump participated in a Q&A with conservative
advocate Charlie Kirk at the White House’s Generation Next forum. Their
conversation covered taxes, trade policy, and what advice the President
would give to a 25-year-old Donald Trump today.
https://tinyurl.com/y8eeakab
WhiteHouseNews:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Latest From RightAlerts:
http://rightalerts.com
Latest At FoxNews:
http://www.foxnews.com/
Latest From MRC News:
https://tinyurl.com/ya6uruck
Latest From TrueDailyNews:
http://truedaily.news/category/news/
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
A man who was desperate for some cigarettes in the middle of
the night used a stolen snowmobile to crash through the
glass windows of a store, according to police in Michigan.
The Bay County Sheriff's Office said that they have arrested
38-year-old Michael P. Stark after being accused of breaking
into the store and stealing cigarettes and lottery tickets.
Stark was charged with breaking and entering with intent to
commit a larceny, unlawfully stealing a motor vehicle, and
larceny in a building.
In addition to the robbery-related charges, Stark is facing
one count of assaulting, obstructing, or resisting police.
According to the police investigation, Stark found a snow-
mobile and used it to break the glass doors of Dore's Party
Store. He then entered the store through the broken doors
and took cigarettes and lottery tickets.
Stark then fled the scene with the stolen snowmobile.
Police officers who responded to the scene followed the
snowmobile tracks and found Stark. Security surveillance
at the store recorded the moment Stark crashed through the
doors with the snowmobile.
If convicted, Stark faces up to 10 years in prison.
-<>-
23-year-old Jacoby Schmidt and Ashley Carrelli, 22, both of
Ohio, were charged with public indecency and disorderly
conduct after the couple was arrested for making love in full
view of children.
The sheriff's office received a call about two people having
s%& in front of the children at the Walker Elementary School.
Officers located the couple behind the school next to a
playground, where 11 children were playing and several adults
were supervising them, according to the police report.
The two continued having s%& even when the deputies
approached them. Carrelli, who was totally naked and wrapped
in a blanket, reportedly exposed her breasts. Schmidt was
naked from the waist down.
Schmidt and Carrelli told authorities they did not know that
it was illegal to have s%& at that spot, according to police.
They also said they did not realize there were people
watching from the nearby playground.
Authorities found several cans of Bud Light beer in the
grass close to where the couple was having s%&. They were
taken into custody.
*- Is That 9 Pounds of Coke In Your Pants Or... -*
Customs officials at a New York airport said an airline crew
member on a flight from Jamaica was found to be hiding 9
pounds of cocaine inside his pants. U.S. Customs and Border
Protection said Jamaican citizen Hugh Hall was a crew member
on a Fly Jamaica Airways flight that arrived at John F.
Kennedy International Airport from Montego Bay. Hugh
presented himself for inspection upon arriving in New York
and he was taken to a private search room, where officers
found four packages of cocaine taped to his legs under his
pants. The cocaine weighed about 9 pounds and had an
estimated street value of $160,000. "This seizure is another
example of our CBP officers being ever vigilant in protecting
the United States from the distribution of illicit drugs,"
said Leon Hayward, acting director of CBP's New York Field
Operations.
*--------------- Bee Acupuncture ---------------*
Acupuncture is a form of alternative medicine that was
invented and practiced by the ancient Chinese. It involves
piercing the skin with needles for various health benefits
like pain relief. But needles get boring. You can achieve
much more dramatic results with something with a little
more 'sting'. It's called apitherapy, or live bee
acupuncture. A bee is positioned directly over a relevant
point on a patient's body and its head is squeezed
repeatedly until the stinger comes out. The stinger is
inserted into the skin, the venom is released and the bee
dies. Unfortunately, so did a recent patient. A 55-year-old
Spanish woman died after receiving live bee acupuncture.
The cause of death was a severe allergic reaction to the
venom. Still, some practitioners and patients swear by it,
including celebrity lifestyle guru Gwyneth Paltrow, who
credits bee venom for getting rid of an old injury. But
medical experts recommended that people avoid the procedure.
*------ Police Raid Illegal Zumba Studio ------*
Police in Houston said officers raided a supposed Zumba
dance studio in the city and seized dozens of illegal
gambling machines. Members of the Major Officers Unit
raided the illegal game room in a strip mall in Southwest
Houston. The facility "was masquerading as a Zumba Dance
room," investigators said, "but inside were only illegal
electronic gaming devices." Officers arrested an attendant
seized more than 40 motherboards from the illegal machines,
as well as thousands of dollars in cash. The constabulary
quipped there is "no dancing around gambling laws in
Precinct 5." "Game rooms are not just illegal in Texas,"
the statement said. "They and their customers are often
targets for other types of crime due to large amounts of
cash on hand and patrons who are often elderly. Operators
of these establishments are often reluctant to report
crimes to the proper authorities due to the illegal nature
of their businesses."
*---- 'Smoke-breathing' Elephant Discovered ----*
Researchers visiting a wildlife area in India captured video
of a bizarre scene: A "smoke-breathing" elephant. The
Wildlife Conservation Society said scientists and colleagues
were visiting Nagaharole National Park to check camera-trap
locations for a long-term tiger study when they came across
the unusual elephant. Vinay Kumar, assistant director of WCS
India, captured video appearing to show the elephant exhaling
thick clouds of smoke. WCS researchers said they have no
concrete answers for the strange scene, but experts suggested
some possibilities. "I believe the elephant may have been
trying to ingest wood charcoal," said Varun Goswami, WCS India
scientist and elephant biologist. "She appeared to be picking
up pieces from the forest floor, blowing away the ash that
came along with it, and consuming the rest." Experts said
charcoal may have medicinal value for elephants, as it has
toxin-binding properties and works as a laxative for the
animals.
---
...I found the video - Just for you! :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc5kISFT1r8
=========================================================
>-->From TheDailyGroner:
.-.
o \ .-.
.----.' \
.'o) / `. o
/ |
\_) /-.
'_.` \ \
`. | \
| \ |
.--/`-. / /
.'.-/`-. `. .\|
/.' /`._ `- '-.
____(|__/`-..`- '-._ \
|`------.'-._ ` ||\ \
|| # /-. ` / || \|
|| #/ `--' / /_::_|)__
`|____|-._.-` / ||`--------`
\-.___.` | / || # |
\ | | || # # |
/`.___.'\ |.`|________|
| /`.__.'|'.`
__/ \ __/ \
/__.-.) /__.-.) LGB
>Q and A Quickies
Q: What '60s music group can kill germs?
A: The Bleach Boys!
Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
A: National Dyslexics Association.
Q: What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?
A: Rep-tiles!
Q: Why do surgeons wear facemasks?
A: So if they make a mistake, no one will know who did it.
Q: How do you kill a circus troupe?
A: Go for the juggler.
Q: How does a lumberjack start his computer?
A: By Logging On!
Q: What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
A: Board!
Q: What did the clock say to the watch?
A: Tock to you later.
-<>-
>What's The Story?
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor..."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
-<>-
| | .' /
*PODA-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP* _.-' `""-._/ .'_._
_ .' .-'.' >
( \/ (%) @ \.' .'
\ 4 @ _.-'
_ _ _ - _ - / - J (%) L
/\ _ - \ _ ( _ | |
(:4-|-.// _(:4-|-.// \_(:4-|-.//J F
/_"`.__.o _ / "`.__.o - "`.__.o L J
(\ \
"> .'\_)
VK (_/`-..___..-'
>The Toughest Time of My Life
I had the toughest time of my life.
First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis.
Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double
pneumonia and phthisis.
Then they gave me hypodermics.
Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.
These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis.
I completely lost my memory for a while.
I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis,
rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
I don't know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling
test I've ever had."
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
|\ /| |\ /|
| \ / | |\\ //|
| | | | | \| |/ |
\ | | / \ || || /
\ |_| / \||_||/
.' '. .' '.
| | |o o|
/ \ /= Y =\
`'-. .-'` `'-.^.-'`
_| |_ _| |_
/` `\ /` `\
| / \ | | |
|/ \| | ( ) |
/ \ /\ \ / /\
| .-~-. | | '._)_.' |
\ { } / \ /
jgs \ '-=-' / \ '.___.' /
.--' ;---; '--. .--' \---/ '--.
`-------' '-------` `-------' '-------`
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it
will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with.
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your
money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it
free... you either married it or gave birth to it.
-<>-
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the
Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't
like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband, "but she's a great cook
and really good with the kids."
-<>-
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother
was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-
year-old son. Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared
their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy,
"Now remember, run to Daddy first, then the dog."
-<>-
"Did you give the prisoner the third degree?" the police
sergeant asked the detective.
"Yeah, we browbeat him pretty good," nodded the other.
"Asked him every question we could think of."
"And did you get a confession?" asked the sergeant.
"Not exactly," explained the officer. "All he'd say was,
'Yes dear,' and doze off."
-<>-
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours
in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world
around him.
He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"
The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly
know, son."
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to
his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do
you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never
learn anything!"
-<>-
A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My
husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He
doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around
the house organizing things."
The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after
we were married I laid the law down firmly with my husband.
I told him, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when
you are done and put back in its place.'"
The first woman asked, "Did it help?"
Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."
=========================================================
>-->From TheMouth:
/| |\ | | | |
( \./ ) ( \ / ) (.\ /.)
\ : / \\*// \ /
) : ( ))*(( ) . (
/ : \ ///|\\\ / v \
|__:__| ////|\\\\ /.......\ hmmm...
Riitta Rasimus
>Quick Hits
Customer: I'd like to try on that dress in the window.
Saleslady: I'm sorry, madam; you'll have to use the
fitting room like everyone else.
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat.
Doctor: How long have you had this feeling?
Patient: Ever since I was a kid.
Patient: Doctor, I can't get to sleep at night.
Doctor: Don't worry--just lie on the edge of the bed and
soon you'll drop off.
Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free.
Dealer: Yes, sir. The car's rust-free. We didn't charge for it.
Sally: Did you see the guards change when you were in London?
Lulu: No, they always pulled the blinds down.
Brunette: Why are you jumping up and down?
Blonde: I just took some medicine and I forgot to shake
the bottle first.
A guide was showing Niagara Falls to a man from Texas.
Guide: I'll bet you don't have anything like this in Texas.
Texan: Nope, but in Texas we have a plumber who can fix it.
Policeman: Tell me, why did you park your car here?
Motorist: Well, the sign says FINE FOR PARKING.
Old man (to his wife): What on earth are you doing?
Wife: Knitting up some barbed wire.
Old man: How can you do that?
Wife: Easy! I'm using steel wool.
-<>-
.')
.')|]
{!-+!
,' .-.\
( (^_^))
)" )n;(
(/ ,(NNN)__o-,
(.'TNNN/--"--'
|F-_"Y(
( \ ,-\-\
"'`:::\:|
\::\/
||::\
,-:/`::\
')// ):\ Ojo '98
\( `+;\.
' ""
>*-- Top Ten Things Not to Say on Your Anniversary --*
10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about
cooking.
9. Today is our what?
8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?
7. I thought we only celebrated important events?
6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.
5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.
4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to
me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.
3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.
2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza
Hut if it'll shut ya up.
1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were
still in love.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Maxine Humor 2!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinehumor2.html
Menu Bloopers!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menubloopers.html
Signs For Woman!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wsigns.html
Men Will Be Boys!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html
Ford's First RV!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firstrv.html
Detroit Autorama!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/detroitauto.html
Road Train Trucks!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/roadtrain.html
Sweet Wooden Car!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodcar.html
About Dogs And People!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aboutdogs.html
Why We Love Dogs!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whydog.html
Dog Eat Dog World!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogeatdog.html
Dogs As Best Friends!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestfriend.html
Pets Left Home Alone!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome.html
Old US City Photos!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscities.html
Thinkers And Their Desks!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html
MacGyver - How To Do It 4!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver4.html
Why Me? Moments!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whyme.html
Life's Little Oops 11!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops11.html
Empire State Building!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/empire.html
Most Expensive Cars!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/expensivecars.html
Easter Index
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easterindex.html
-<>-
>Please Visit/Follow Me On StumbleUpon:
https://tinyurl.com/y8qxhy3w
Some of Shangrala's Best Pages
http://www.amazfamily.com/index.html
-<>-
YOUR AMAZING BRAIN
Explore your brain, take part in real-life experiments
and test yourself with our games, illusions and brain-
benders. Very interesting!
http://www.youramazingbrain.org/
AM I RIGHT?
Enjoy a collection of misheard lyrics submitted by
visitors to the site, and enjoy humorous song parodies!
http://www.amiright.com/
Things Movie And TV Characters Do That No Real Person Does
From Cracked.com: For the most part, movies and TV shows are supposed
to be about us, right? They're either directly or indirectly about the
human condition, and are packed with human behavior. Except that a lot
of the time, they really aren't. They play more like an alien's vague
idea of what our species does.
https://tinyurl.com/y97khhvz
28 People Having A Worse Spring Break Than You
From Buzzfeed.com: Save yourself from a horrible Spring Break
experience. After seeing these images your parents' couch isn't
looking so bad after all.
https://tinyurl.com/ya74g8fr
Funny Sea Lion/Seal Video Compilation | Dogs of the Sea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwnXxQHf454
-<>-
>From Our Friend Johanna :)
Time to stop playing with the computer.
‘It's Coffee time!!!!!!’
http://www.cartoline.it/pics/scherzi_150404_01.swf
---
....Oh My! Thanks Johanna!
-<>-
>From Our Friend louiseAu :)
Magician Derek Hughes impresses the judges and audience with
'mental telepathy' on America’s Got Talent and moves on to
the next round at Radio City Hall.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFn42Nc9p8
---
...Awesome! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"It's spring break! Just remember, the partying lasts a
week, but the photos will cost you jobs forever."
-Jimmy Fallon
"After residents in Birmingham complained about the
terrible smell, New York City has agreed to stop sending
railcars full of the city's excess sewage to a landfill
in Alabama. Yeah, train cars filled with human waste and
an unbearable smell--or, as that's called in New York,
the subway." -James Corden
"Toys R Us is going out of business. I'll always remember
Toys R Us as the store where my children had a complete
and total meltdown each and every time we went there. I
guess people don't enjoy that anymore." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Golfer Rory McIlroy said there should be a limit to how
much alcohol fans can buy at events because they're getting
too rowdy. And also, he's tired of hearing drunk people try
to say 'Rory McIlroy.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"Actress Cynthia Nixon today announced her bid to run for
New York governor, and she debuted her campaign slogan,
'Nixon 2018: No Relation.'" -Seth Meyers
"In financial news, billionaire investor Warren Buffett is
facing some criticism after saying in a recent interview,
'You will not be way happier if you double your net worth.'
Spoken like someone who has $90 billion. But he is
partially right. Happiness does not come from net worth.
It comes from the things you can BUY because of your net
worth." -James Corden
"YouTube is planning a 'Karate Kid' series that follows
the characters 34 years later. The show is entitled
'Ralph Macchio's Mortgage Is Due.'" -Conan O'Brien
"A giant snowstorm hit the entire East Coast today. People
spent the morning posting pictures of the storm on
Facebook, and Facebook spent the afternoon selling them."
-Jimmy Fallon
"A new poll has found that a majority of Americans believe
the government is spying on them. 'No, we're not,' said
your microwave." -Seth Meyers
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change
color and fall from the trees."
--David Letterman
"That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest."
--Henry David Thoreau
"Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!"
--Tommy Smothers
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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