Stop Trashing Obama.... :)Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ *~* Our Thoughts And Prayers Go Out To France - May God Bless And Comfort All Those Affected By The Recent ISIS Terrorist Attacks >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This supper scorcher is from our friends Linda and Deci. It is one that'll give you some warm smiles for your day. Give this page plenty of time to load and check it our here... __ __/ \__ / \__/ \ \__/..\__/ / \__/ \ \__/ \__/ \__/ || || || .'/.'\.'. ..'.'..'..'.'. Imran Happy Moments! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/happymoments.html --- ...Such a sweet one! I do love animations! Thanks Linda and Deci! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: _..._ ___ .:::::::. `"-._.-''. , /:::::::::\ ': \ _._ \:-::::::::::::\ :. | /|.-' /:::\ \::::::::\:::::| ': | | / |:::| `:::::::|:::::\ ': | `\ | __ |\::/\ `-:::-|::::::| ': | .`\ .\_.' `.__/ | |::::::\ ':. | \ ';:: /.-._ , / |:::::::| :. / ,`\;:: \'./0) |_.-/ ;:::::::| ': | \.`;::. `` | | \::::::/ :' / _\::::' / / \::::| :' / ,=:;::/ | \:::| :' | (='` // / | \::\ `: / '--' | /\ | \:::. `:_|.-"""-. \__.-'/::\ | '::::.:::...:::. '. /:::| | '::/::::::::::::. '-.__.:::::| | |::::::::::::\::..../::::::| / |:::::::::::::|::::/:::::::// \:::::::::::::|'::/::::::::/ /\::::::::::::/ /:::::::/:| |::';:::::::::/ |::::::/::; |:::/`-:::::;;-._ |:::::/::/ |:::| `-::::\ `|::::/::/ jgs |:::| \:::\ \:::/::/ /:::/ \:::\ \:/\:/ (_::/ \:::;__ \\_\\___ (_:/ \::):):)\:::):):) `" `""""` `""""""` Two skunks, one named In and one named Out, wanted to go and play. Their parents told them they could, but an hour later only Out came back. "Hasn't In come in?" asked Father Skunk. "Out went out with In but only Out came back in," said Mother Skunk. "Well, Out," said Father, "you better go out and find In and bring her in." So Out did. A few minutes later he returned with his wayward sister. "How did you find her?" asked Mother. Out smiled. "Instincts." -<>- ________ _jgN########Ngg_ _N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_ d###P N####p "^^" T#### d###P _g###@F _gN##@P gN###F" d###F 0###F 0###F 0###F "NN@' ___ q###r "" >Questions to Ponder 1. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? 2. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? 3. If you shouldn't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? 4. If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money? 5. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? 6. If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, could you plan a surprise birthday party for them? 7. If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out? 8. If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong? 9. If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain? 10. If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done? 11. If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record? 12. If you take a shower, where do you put it? 13. If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? 14. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 15. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly? 16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? 17. Is it possible to be totally partial? 18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 19. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 20. Can you grow birds by planting birdseed? 21. Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach? 22. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? 23. Why is abbreviation such a long word? 24. Why is it called a tv set if you only get one? 25. If its zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? 26. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? 27. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs? 28. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? 29. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? -<>- Leaving for a vacation in Alaska a man promised to mail his friend a piece of glacier. The friend protested, saying that by the time it reached him it would be gone. The first man answered, "Surely not. Who would want to steal a piece of glacier from an envelope?" -<>- A breakthrough in computer technology has been made by the representatives of the growing population of female computer engineers in the former Soviet Republics. This new revolutionary processor is based on female logic and utilizes the following four values for logical operators: 0) neither YES nor NO 1) YES or NO 2) NO three times 3) NO and never mention it to me again! -<>- Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Noah Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife always said, "And what's that supposed to mean?" Thus, Webster's Dictionary was born. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 16 is Button Day and Have a Party With Your Bear Day November 17 is Homemade Bread, Take A Hike Day and World Peace Day November 18 is Occult Day November 19 is Great American Smokeout and Have a Bad Day Day November 20 is Beautiful Day and Universal Children's Day November 21 is National Adoption Day and World Hello Day November 22 is Go For a Ride Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: / .- __ |/,-'` `-.\ _.-'''-._ \\ .--. _.;.--._.--.;._ _\\/_`~\\ _ .-. .` /( / \ )\ `|. \\ |--' | \ | | ; '-' '-' ; |~~~~~| _\ \| |__ | (_) | | '__|_ (_` _)| . . | |. (__ \ `', |` | `-.___.-' | | (__ | | | ; | : | ; | '(___ | | | \ | : | / | . | | | \____'._| : |_.'___;====| | \ | : | / jgs '------. '._.' .---------'` | | | . ~ . | | | | | |____.____| /===========\ ;:. | .::. ; |:' |_'::' | | .:. | | |__':'_|___.::| [______I______] | | | (_ | _) | | | _|___|___|_ .-//\\--|||--//\\-. (_||__\\//|\\//__||_) `"""""""""`"""""""""` >On Vacation On the first day of vacation, a girl fell and broke her leg. As the doctor examined her, she moaned, "This is my vacation! Why couldn't this have happened on my last day of scuba diving?" The doctor replied, "This IS your last day of scuba diving." -<>- >Infant Development Picking up my son at daycare, I got into a conversation with a group of parents. One woman bragged that her son sat up alone at four months, crawled at six months and was walking long before his first birthday. She said at 16 months, he now was talking in full sentences. Turning to my friend Helen, she asked, "is your 16-month-old talking yet?" "No, Andy doesn't say much," Helen replied. "He mainly writes things down for us." -<>- >At the Bike Shop Nearing 40 and woefully out of shape, I resolved to buy a bicycle and begin an exercise regimen. As I browsed in the bike shop, a young, athletic-looking clerk approached. "What do you have for a fat old lady with a big, tender posterior who hasn't ridden in years?" I asked. He didn't even blink. "Well, why don't you bring her in, and we'll see what we can do," he said, clinching the sale. -<>- >Relationships During a heartfelt chat with her friend about relationships, my wife sighed and said, "You know, if something happened to Lloyd, I don't think I could ever marry again." Her friend nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean," she said. "Once is enough." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ,%&& %&& % ,%&%& %&%& %& %& %&% &%&% % &% % &%% %&% &% %&%&, &%&% %&%& %& &%& % %%& %&%& %&%&% %&%%& &%&% %&% % %& &% %%& && %&% %&%& %&% %&%' '%&% %&% %&&%&%%'% % %& %& %&% &%% `\%%.' /`%&' | | /`-._ _\\/ |, |_ / `-._ ..--~`_ |; |_`\_ / ,\\.~` `-._ - ^ |;: |/^}__..-,@ .~` ~ `o ~ |;: |(____.-' '. ~ - ` ~ |;: | \ / `\ //. - ^ ~ |;: |\ /' /\_\_ ~. _ ~ - //- jgs\\/;: \'--' `---` `\\//-\\/// Two blond guys go on a fishing trip. They spend a fortune renting all the equipment - reels, rods, wading suits, rowboat, car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day they go fishing they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy remarks to the other, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!" -------- One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. Jimmy Joe asked, "Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?" "Bobby Sue gave it to me," Bubba replied. "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?" "Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4 wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want.' So I took the truck!" "Bubba, you're a smart man!. Them clothes woulda never fit you." -------- The census taker rang the doorbell and was quite surprised when the door was opened by a nude woman. "Don't be alarmed," she said, "I'm a nudist." Although somewhat embarrassed, the man proceeded to ask the routine questions. When his asked, "How many children do you have?" The lady replied, "Eighteen." "Lady," he gasped, "you're not a nudist, you just don't have time to get dressed!" -------- A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a distant country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO...." She sort of forgets where she is. Even the pilot in the pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, he comes out and shouts, "BE SILENT!" There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment and all of a sudden started shouting, "OEING ! OEING!! OEING!!! OE..." --------- His teacher asks little Tommy, "Why weren't you at school yesterday?" Tommy answers, "My grandfather got burned." The teacher inquires, "Badly?" Little Tommy replies, "Yes, they don't mess around at the crematorium." -------- I changed all my passwords to "incorrect" so whenever I forget my password the computer will tell me "Your password is incorrect." -------- The first-time father, beside himself with excitement over the birth of his son, was determined to do everything right. "So, tell me, Nurse," he asked as his new family headed out the hospital door, "what time should we wake the little guy in the morning?" -------- Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?" -------- While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said, "go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus. --------- One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose. 'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see.' 'That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake. 'To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?' 'Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny. 'I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.' So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, 'Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!' The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?' The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, 'Well, what kind of an animal am I?' The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, 'You're cold, you're slippery, and you have no balls... You must be a "POLITICIAN". --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >She is soooooooooooooo blonde... .... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. .... she thought a quarterback was a refund. .... she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order .... she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care center. .... she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. .... she thought General Motors was in the Army. .... she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. .... she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. .... under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics." .... she tried to drown a fish. .... she tripped over a cordless phone. .... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate." .... she got stabbed in a shoot-out. .... she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." .... they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade. .... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius." .... she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. .... it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes." .... she studied for a blood test -- and failed. .... she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train." .... she sold the car for gas money. .... when she saw the movie rating "NC-17: under 17 not admitted," she went home and got 16 friends. .... when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. .... she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. .... when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice. .... when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. .... she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. --- ...Oh My! Good ones! HaHa! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Karen :) ( (_) ) (_) /""""" | (')') C _) \_/// \ _| \ _/ \__/___/ / <___Y> \_/ ) / \ :\__\ (_) / | :| |___| :| | | :| \ \ :| \ \=LI /// || | || | || | || | || | || | || [___]] jgs (____)) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >Change "Winston, come into the dining room, it's time to eat," Julia yelled to her husband. "In a minute, honey, it's a tie score," he answered. Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2019, outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the "bad" example it sets for the rest of the world", Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as exciting. Yet, it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of Veggie Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2020, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce, and mincemeat pie), it wasn't anything like real turkey. And ever since the government officially changed the name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of Atonement" in 2021, to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims' historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster. Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats - which were monitored and controlled by the electric company - be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter. Still, it was good getting together with family. Or at least most of the family. Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of life-saving medical treatment. He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort. "The RHC's resources are limited," explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled. I'm sorry for your loss." Ed couldn't make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines - for everyone but government officials. The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there. Thankfully, Winston's brother, John, and his wife were flying in. Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion. No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added "inconvenience" was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists." Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2023. That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny," even when probable cause was involved. Thus, cavity searches at malls, grocery stores, train stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine. Almost. The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressive socialists and three conservatives to leave the law intact. "A living Constitution is extremely flexible", said the Court's eldest member, Elena Kagan. "Europe has had laws like this one for years. We should learn from their example," she added. Winston's thoughts turned to his own children. He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner. Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 20,000 texts a week, explaining that was all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it. His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism, or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner", but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility. It didn't help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2019, which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being. Winston paid the $5,000 fine, which might have been considered excessive before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13. The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to "spur economic growth." This time, they promised to push unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not particularly hopeful. Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement. At least, he had his memories. He felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life "fair for everyone" realized their full potential. Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them. He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2009, when all the real nonsense began. He reminisced that there was a one last time chance to stop the carnage in 2016, but the public blew it AGAIN. "Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if we'd just said 'enough is enough' when we had the chance," he thought. Maybe so, Winston. Maybe so. --- ...TeeHee! Interesting! Gotta love change... Thanks Karen! -<>- __ |/`.-\ |\_)'} |/'-; |\_\_`,_ |____| \ |====|__| jgs '.,_|____|_,_) >Where Are My Glasses? Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing? Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a parachute club. She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 73 years old, and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I told her that I even got a membership card and e-mailed a copy to her. She immediately telephoned me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club." "Oh man, I'm in trouble again; I really don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week." The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that she had fainted. Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun. --- ...LOL! Thanks Karen! -<>- .=. //"\\ (/6 6\) )\ = /( (_ ) ( _) / `\_/` \ / (_ @ _) \ \ \)___(/ / \/ \/ | | | | |_____| ||| ||| / Y \ `"`"` >Short Quiz COMMUNISM IS CREEPING IN ONE STEP AT A TIME, EXACTLY AS PLANNED. Six trivia questions to see how much history you know. Be honest, it's kinda fun and revealing. If you don't know the answer make your best guess. Answer all the questions (no cheating) before looking at the answers. Who said it? 1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." A. Karl Marx B. Adolph Hitler C. Joseph Stalin D. None of the above 2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few...... And to replace it with shared responsibility,,,,,for shared prosperity." A. Lenin B. Mussolini C. Idi Amin D. None of the Above 3) "(We) .....can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people." A. Nikita Khrushev B. Josef Goebbels C. Boris Yeltsin D. None of the above 4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up a little bit of their own ... in order to create this common ground." A. Mao Tse Dung B. Hugo Chavez C. Kim Jong Il D. None of the above 5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed." A. Karl Marx B. Lenin C. Molotov D. None of the above 6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched." A. Pinochet B. Milosevic C. Saddam Hussein D. None of the above . . . . . . Answers (1) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004 (2) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2007 (3) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (4) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (5) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (6) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005 --- ...Thanks Karen! Young folks don't understand what communism is - socialism is the word used these days and to the younger generation it means taking care of the under privileged and those less fortunate. Which would be nice if it worked. True socialism and communism has almost never worked for any society. Most all have failed. Generally all but the those in the highest power suffer under socialism and communism turning them into a dictatorship instead of a free society. What is the difference between communism and socialism? http://tinyurl.com/q5ougqv ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: The President of France Just Called the Paris Terrorists a Name We Know All Too Well http://www.ijreview.com/ 2 Syrian refugees among Paris terrorists http://www.wnd.com/2015/11/kalashnikov-and-grenade-attacks-across-paris/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: What is it that makes America great? I would say it is our individuality and rugged independence. We are a people who can take care of ourselves, no matter what. A lesson that was taught in no uncertain terms to one of the next generation of individualists in an Arizona desert. 53-year-old Paul Rater took his 5-year-old granddaughter for a ride in his truck. It was a generational bonding experience. That is until the truck got stuck. Rater did not have his cell phone with him, but being proactive about such little inconveniences he set out across the desert on foot with his granddaughter in tow to find help. Rater later said that the girl became too tired to continue walking, so he left her under a tree. Now before you become all shocked and scandalized that a man would leave his own 5-year-old granddaughter alone in the desert, you should know that he left her a loaded .45 caliber handgun. For snakes and coyotes and such. When he finally found a bar, Rater decided to get something to eat and drink as he was hungry and dehydrated. He then called his wife to let her know that he left the girl in the desert. The family called police, who used a helicopter to search for the child. Meanwhile, a family member found the girl alone with the .45. Rater was later located still at the bar and arrested. He has been charged with two counts of child abuse and one count of child endangerment. *-- Canadian university looks to ban political correctness --* TORONTO - As U.S. universities Yale and Missouri deal with internal social justice and free speech issues, a Canadian university is implementing new rules to prevent the stifling of controversial or unpopular opinions. John Harris, founder of the Harris Institute in Toronto, has drafted a new set of rules, effective for the Spring semester, in response to complaints about use of language and topics being discussed in the classroom. Students and faculty will be required to agree and comply to "Rules of Civility," one of which threatens probation and even dismissal, for anyone found to have "shouted down an opposing view." Harris told Metro News that he and administrators agree that there is no room for avoiding touchy subjects at the university, known for its courses in music production and management. "We've got courses that talk about hip-hop culture and rap culture and for some people those are sensitive areas in terms of racism, sexism, et cetera," he said. "In the end, the decision to approve the policy was unanimous." Harris cites backlash against an on-campus speech from punk rock drummer Martin Atkins, who he admittedly described as "outspoken," and a trend of over 290 guest speeches that were cancelled across Europe and North America as signs that political correctness has gone to far. "You shouldn't have limits on what can be discussed," he told Metro News. "It's undermining what a lot of people, including me, feel is the essence of post-secondary education." *-- Car dealership offers 'vending machine' for cars --* NASHVILLE - Used-car website Carvana added an alternative pick-up method for their customers, building the world's first coin-operated car vending machine. The company first came up with the idea for a car vending machine in 2013 and on Friday the five-story structure opened in Nashville. The vending machine is fully-automated and can hold up to 20 cars at a time. It also features a slot for a giant coin and a robotic arm that picks up the car and places it in a delivery bay for the customer. "The experience itself is exactly a vending machine experience," Caravan founder and CEO, Ernie Garcia told The Verge. "The customer even gets a customized, oversized coin that they drop into a slot." When customers arrive to pick up their online order they drop the coin into the slot and pick up the car from the delivery bay. They then have the opportunity to inspect and test drive the car and, unlike traditional vending machines, the transaction is not final until the customer drives the car off of the lot. The company hopes to open additional vending machines in the future, but for now they are offering $200 toward airfare and "white glove" chauffeur service for any customers willing to make the trip. *-- Police: 8-year-old girl failed to smoke pot in school bathroom --* PATASKALA, Ohio - Authorities in Ohio said an 8-year-old girl was found in a bathroom attempting to smoke marijuana in an inefficient way -- by lighting a plastic baggie on fire. The Pataskala Police Department said the 8-year-old Pataskala Elementary School student was caught by a school employee Nov. 4 trying to ignite the marijuana in the girls' bathroom. "The good thing is she didn't know how to [smoke the marijuana]," Police Chief Bruce Brooks told The Newark Advocate. "She lit the [plastic] baggie." The student attempted to flush some of the marijuana down a toilet and threw the rest in a trash can, where it was recovered, police said. The student was suspended. Southwest Licking Local Schools Superintendent Robert Jennell said confidentiality laws bar the district from discussing the student's punishment. "Obviously, though, we take the tone in the district that [school] is not the place for drugs," Jennell said. "We certainly want to make sure we reach out to all the organizations we can to give this student all the help possible." The superintendent said the incident is being taken "very, very seriously." WSYX-TV quoted a family member as saying the girl was initially suspended for 10 days, but the punishment was reduced to three. The family member said school administrators are reviewing school bus security camera footage in an attempt to identify how the student obtained the drugs. *-- Brazilian toddler bites and kills potentially venomous snake at his home --* MOSTARDAS, Brazil - A 1-year-old Brazilian boy saved himself from a potentially venomous snake by killing it with a bite of his own, the toddler's parents said. Jaine Ferreira said she went to check on her son, Lorenzo, when he was unusually quiet earlier this month at their home in Mostardas and she discovered the toddler holding a snake in his mouth with blood on his hands and face. Ferreira told G1 her family's home is in an urban area where she has never spotted snakes before. The mother said the child was treating the snake as if it was one of his toys and she needed help from the boy's father to wrestle the reptile out of his jaws. Doctors examined the boy and found no signs that he had been bitten by the snake, which they said he killed by biting down close to the animal's head. The doctors identified the snake as a venomous pit viper, but experts viewing photos of the expired reptile said it may have been a non-venomous water snake. The Snake Bite Initiative estimates there are 540 to 2,298 deaths each year from snake bites across Latin America. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) .-""-.--. ( Think ) ( Hmmm? ) '--'--' () /""""" O | (')') o C _) \ _| \__/ <___Y> / \ :\\ / | :|\ |___| :|/\ | | :|\ \ \ \ :| \ \_ \ \==L| \\\ ///` || | || | || | || | || | || | || [___]] jgs (____)) Being Divine in addition to being Beloved gives Barry some options. For instance he doesn't have to get a funny haircut. Kim Jung Un had NO military experience whatsoever before Daddy made him a four-star general. This little snot-nose had never accomplished anything in his life that would even come close to military leadership. He hadn't even so much as led a Cub Scout troop, coached a sports team, or commanded a military platoon. So he is made the "Beloved Leader" Of North Korea. Terrific!- - - - Oh whoops! I'm sorry... I just remembered that we did the same thing. We took an arrogant community organizer, who had never worn a uniform, and made him Commander-in-Chief. A guy, who had never had a real job, worked on a budget, or led anything more than an ACORN demonstration, and we made him "Beloved Leader" of the United States TWICE!!! I'm sorry I brought this up. Never mind. --- ...LOL! Live and learn - hopefully huh? Thanks PatDeE! -<>- ____ | | O ~O O O_ ~O _O O ~O O O_ ~O O | | /|\ /|\ |\ /| /|\ |\ /|\ /|\ |\ /| /|\ /|\ | o| |\ /| |\ |\ |\ /| |\ /| |\ |\ |\ /| | | jgs |/ / | / | | \ | | / | |/ / | / | | \ |/ / | |____| >Where does the money go? Where shall we get the money to pay our debts.... Lets look at the following list of departments, NONE of which are authorized by the Constitution as a function of government: The Department of Labor, which does no actual labor, has spent $102,157,000,000 the fiscal year; as of June 2011 The Dept of Education, which educates nobody: 46,058,000,000 The Dept of Energy, which produces no energy: 25,766,000,000 The Dept of Housing & Urban Development; which build our fine urban slums: 46,149,000,000 The Dept of Justice, which produces absolutely no justice: 23,084,000,000 The Dept of the Interior, which does...What?: 9,862,000,000 The Dept of Transportation, which subsidizes Amtrack: 54,766,000,000 The International Assistance Program, which apparently mostly assists warlords and terrorists: 15,876,000,000 NASA, which seems to be pretty much out of a job now: 13,034,000,000 The National Science Foundation, which doesn't seem to produce any actual science: 5,037,000,000 Let's see.... 102,157,000,000 46,058,000,000 25,766,000,000 46,149,000,000 23,084,000,000 9,862,000,000 54,766,000,000 15,876,000,000 13,034,000,000 5,037,000,000 ============ 341,789,000,000 There ya go! A large part of the problem Solved! Washington has a spending problem. Tax cuts don't increase deficits anymore than tax increases decrease deficits. Deficits are decreased by spending less. I wonder how many of the folks who quote this nonsense have ever budgeted their own money. If they find they are spending more than they take in, do they demand raise from their boss? No President of the United States can create either a budget deficit or a budget surplus. *All spending bills originate in the House of Representatives* and all taxes are voted into law by Congress. This means Bill Clinton did not balance the budget, the Republicans did. Of course, nothing in life is simple. This example would put thousands of drones out of work and onto the welfare rolls (of one sort or another) Would it be worth it? Probably. --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! Ya know Obama though - threaten just one department and he'll say he has to cut spending for our Vets to make up for it or he'll close the WH to tours by school children or close National parks to save money! Not sure if these are real figures, but here is some that is: Tom Coburn highlights ridiculous government spending in final Wastebook [2014] '$19 million in salaries that the government paid to workers who were suspended from their jobs, usually because of misconduct that would have resulted in outright firing at a private company. Other highlights include the $50,000 spent to study whether sea monkeys’ swimming changes the flow of oceans, $450,000 that the Homeland Security Department spent on high-end gym memberships for staffers whose federal health insurance already pays for gym benefits... All told, Mr. Coburn identifies $25 billion in waste from the 100 projects. http://tinyurl.com/p9pqqkm ======================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: __ .' `'. / _ | #_/.\==/.\ (, \_/ \\_/ | -' | \ '= / /`-.__.' .-'`-.___|__ jgs / \ `. During his physical, a doctor asked his patient about his daily activity level. The man said, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattle- snake, marched up and down several hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees." Impressed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!" "Outdoorsman nothing," replied the man, "I'm just a lousy golfer." -<>- A young Jewish lad entered Notre Dame to play football. At the end of the season, he returned home. As luck would have it, he ran into his Rabbi at the airport. The rabbi asked, "Are they trying to convert you over there at South Bend?" The youngster said, "Of course not, Father!" -<>- When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become collectors' items. I went to the bank and picked up a hundred, serially numbered and still in their original band. On my next trip to my parents' house, I gave the $200 to my mother and said, "Take good care of these. They might be worth something someday." Several months later I asked Mom if she was keeping the two dollar bills safe. "Oh, yes!" she replied. "I deposited them in the bank the day after you left." -<>- Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk." "Sometimes, it's easy to get carried away when you are with a boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life." "Don't worry," she said. "I don't plan on ruining my life until I get married." -<>- My father and I belong to the religion of Sikhism. We both wear the traditional turban and often encounter strange comments and questions. Once, in a restaurant, a child stared with amazement at my father. She finally got the courage to ask, "Are you a genie?" Her mother, caught off guard, turned red in the face and apologized for the remark. But my dad took no offense and decided to humor the child. He replied, "Why, yes I am. I can grant you three wishes." The child's mother blurted out, "Really?" -<>- .======. /((((((()\ ((/// \)) ((/`__ __()) /`-{_o}^{o_}'\ \_ _\ _/ \ .__, / \ `-' / /`----'\ jgs.-"""`------'`""-. We all fail sometimes. But there's something about failing with style. Here are some of the best test paper blunders from the most clueless - and inventive - of students. * Classical Studies * Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements. Answer: Learning to speak Latin * Biology * Question: What is a fibula? Answer: A little lie * Classical Studies * Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death? Answer: Suspicious ones * Biology * Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease Answer: Early death * Biology * Question: What is a plasmid? Answer: A high definition television * Religious Studies * Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called? Answer: Monotony * Physics * Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels. Answer: Fire * Geography * Question: What does the term "lava" mean? Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar * Geography * Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country? Answer: Malaria * Geography * Question: Name one famous Greek landmark Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse * History * Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed? Answer: At the bottom. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) _....._ ." ", / ___/_ \ | /- -\ | \ \ ^\^ / / '.%\_=_/%.' _<\)_(/>_ / | | \ / / \_|_/ \ \ || ` || | \___,___/ | \ \ ) ( / / \/\ /\/ \/\ /\/ |)/---\(| | |___| | |/\___/\| |\ ^ /| | `"""` | |_______| | | | jgs | | | )_|-'\_ / /T"._\ '-' >Some Phyllis Diller quotes * Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. * Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? * Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. * The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. * Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. * A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. * I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. * Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. * Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, it's a sure sign a bank has just been robbed. * We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them how to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up. * Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. * What I don't like about office Christmas parties. . . is looking for a job the next day. * The only time I ever enjoyed ironing . . . was the day I accidentally poured gin in the steam iron. * My photographs don't do me justice - they look just like me. * I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. * Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle: "Keep Away From Children". * I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' * The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down . . . is so you can't see him laughing. * You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. --- ...LOL! Thanks Geniann ======================================================== >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) .---. /_____\ ( '.' ) \_-_/_ .-"`'V'//-. / , |// , \ / /|Ll //Ll|\ \ / / |__// | \_\ \ \/---|[]==| / / \/\__/ | \/\/ |/_ | Ll_\| |`^"""^`| [Not Vetted] >STOP TRASHING OBAMA: By Colonel Robert F. Cunningham and Patrick Rishor, The Gilmer Mirror Quit trashing Obama's accomplishments. He has done more than any other President before him. Here is a list of his impressive accomplishments: (1) First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner. (2) First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in. (3) First President to preside over a cut to the credit- rating of the United States. (4) First President to violate the War Powers Act. (5) First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico. (6) First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party. (7) First President to spend a trillion dollars on "shovel- ready" jobs when there was no such thing as "shovel-ready" jobs. (8) First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters. (9) First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat. (10) First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those with criminal convictions. (11) First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees. (12) First President to tell a CEO of a major corporation (Chrysler) to resign. (13) First President to terminate America's ability to put a man in space. (14) First President to cancel the National Day of Prayer and to say that America is no longer a Christian nation. (15) First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present. (16) First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it. (17) First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke out on the reasons for their rate increases. (18) First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory. (19) First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN). (20) First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago. (21) First President to actively try to bankrupt an American industry (coal). (22) First President to fire an inspector general of AmeriCorps for catching one of Obama's friends in a corruption case. (23) First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office. (24) First President to surround himself with radical left wing anarchists. (25) First President to golf more than 150 separate times in his first five years in office. (26) First President to hide his birth, medical, educational and travel records. (27) First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it. (28) First President to go on multiple "global apology" tours and concurrent "insult our friends" tours. (29) First President to go on over 17 lavish vacations, in addition to date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends paid for by the taxpayers. (30) First President to have personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife. (31) First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense. (32) First President to fly-in a personal trainer from Chicago at least once a week at taxpayer expense. (33) First President to repeat the Holy Quran and tell us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth. (34) First President to side with a foreign nation over one of the American 50 states (Mexico vs Arizona). How is this 'hope and change' working out for you? http://tinyurl.com/nqpmxcd --- ...Oh My! Not all totally true but we get the gist. Thanks Bunni! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Easy Recipes: DESSERTS for Thanksgiving http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html Thanksgiving Story http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/alices.html Bear Rescue 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearrescue2.html Real Three Bears! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bears.html Bear Playground! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/2015/bearplay.html Amazing Athlete Homes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/athletehomes.html Sand Sculpture Art 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart4.html Love Test http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html Real Drug Raid http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/drugraid.html Value What You Have http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/valuewyh.html Worms!! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worms.html Leaf Art Painting! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/art.html Indian Paper Sculpture! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/indianart.html Real Pencil Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pencil.html Amazing Horse Trainer! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/horsetrainer.html Birth Of an Island! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/island.html Maxine On Holidays! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineholidays.html World Of Peacocks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/peacock.html Aww Animals 8 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals10.html -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Use Up Leftovers http://www.bigoven.com/recipes/leftover Free Eye Test https://www.igame.com/eye-test/?fbs=15 Butterflies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZPN9g2pmPQ Astonishing Facts http://www.socialdose.com/astonishing/ --- ...Neat! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Dogs may be stronger than cats. Dogs may be larger than cats. But when it comes to sheer intimidation, dogs don't stand a chance against the average grumpy feline, who will not move out of their way, not let them pass unscathed. Watch these poor pooches as they confront cats who will just not let them pass. An adorable and hilarious video for the whole family. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=S7znI_Kpzbs El Gamma Penumbra a dance group that specializes in shadow-dancing delivers yet another mind-blowing performance in the television Asia Got Talent, and bring the judges to tears with their amazingly powerful message. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=yvyqQt8Drfo Dogs may be our best, most loving friends, but they're also very funny animals (knowingly or not). Even cats are hard pressed to keep up with the antics a dog can dish out. I think it comes from their unbridled enthusiasm towards so many things in life. Dogs are passionate creatures, and more often than not - it leads to hilarity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4ONe_4RtH7c Meet Boomer, a Bengal cat, taking a visit to the local dog show. Boomers fearless nature and endless friendliness makes him very popular with the local pooches. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RiWVqT2sNTw --- ...Lots of Smiles here! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Karen :) Color WWII footage of air combat http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d1a_1385299477 Mouse Hunting... https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10151823097153841 --- ...What a riot! Thanks Karen! -<>- >From Our Friend Melinda :) This Is What Happened When Maine Forced Welfare Recipients To Work For Their Benefits http://tinyurl.com/pduq2st Zombies of the ocean: Starfish now devouring themselves as life on planet Earth reaches crisis point http://tinyurl.com/q3ykgk3 Low-income Brits agree to be injected with experimental Ebola vaccine for barely enough money to pay one month's rent http://tinyurl.com/oqyghmf --- ...Crazy! Thanks Melinda! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off." -Conan O'Brien "Indonesia's anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch." -James Corden "New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don't think the other people in the restaurant would be too happy about it." -Seth Meyers "For the first time ever, more than half of all senior citizens in the U.S. are using the Internet. Yeah, I read that when my grandma sent the entire story to me in the subject line of an email." -Jimmy Fallon "A teenager in Arkansas was arrested after he was caught driving without a license on his way to the DMV to take a driving test, tried to flee, and crashed into a police car. On the plus side, it sounds like he was probably going to fail anyway." -Seth Meyers "Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried to rob someone at a gas station. They're being charged with attempted robbery and mixing Marvel with DC." -Conan O'Brien "There are reports that a movie is in the works based on the game Monopoly. They say the movie will be just like the game because it's four hours long and it ends with your family fighting." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************