Stories Wrinkles Tell And More... :) Shangy >-->HOT off the 'Shangy' Press: Been working REAL hard having fun turning forwards from thoughtful people on our list into pages we all can pass around and share. Here are some more! These Vans are a hoot! My first thought was 'that'll knock out a stop light!' and my next thoguht was 'wow'! Take a look for your self! It's Japan's latest fad! __________ /`.---..----;\ / /____||_____\\__ | "~ 7 `'. (_ .--. ========.--. =| jgs `"( () )"""""""( () )"` '--' '--' Freaky Art Vans: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/artvan.html -<..>- This next one is a sweet one and comes from our friend Tom James - It gives us a love test... Pepe LePew-- "You find me irresistible, no?" _..._ ___ .:::::::. `"-._.-''. , /:::::::::\ ': \ _._ \:-::::::::::::\ :. | /|.-' /:::\ \::::::::\:::::| ': | | / |:::| `:::::::|:::::\ ': | `\ | __ |\::/\ `-:::-|::::::| ': | .`\ .\_.' `.__/ | |::::::\ ':. | \ ';:: /.-._ , / |:::::::| :. / ,`\;:: \'./0) |_.-/ ;:::::::| ': | \.`;::. `` | | \::::::/ :' / _\::::' / / \::::| :' / ,=:;::/ | \:::| :' | (='` // / | \::\ `: / '--' | /\ | \:::. `:_|.-"""-. \__.-'/::\ | '::::.:::...:::. '. /:::| | '::/::::::::::::. '-.__.:::::| | |::::::::::::\::..../::::::| / |:::::::::::::|::::/:::::::// \:::::::::::::|'::/::::::::/ /\::::::::::::/ /:::::::/:| |::';:::::::::/ |::::::/::; |:::/`-:::::;;-._ |:::::/::/ |:::| `-::::\ `|::::/::/ jgs |:::| \:::\ \:::/::/ /:::/ \:::\ \:/\:/ (_::/ \:::;__ \\_\\___ (_:/ \::):):)\:::):):) `" `""""` `""""""` No - not that kind of love test - check it out here: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html -<>- Just incase you thought you'd seen it all and couldn't be awed any more - well think again. This comes from our friend Del and gives us some powerful insights. Bang Theory? I think this is way beyond BANG! See for yourself... _____ .-'. ':'-. .''::: .: '. / :::::' \ ;. ':' ` ; | '.. | ; ' ::::. ; \ ':::: / '. ::: .' jgs '-.___'_.-' Earth In Perspective: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/earth.html ============================================================ >-->From the FunnyBone: Microsoft Panhandler v1.0 (Beta) Redmond, WA -- Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yesterday the introduction of a new product for __ Windows 95: Microsoft Panhandling. __/ \ / \-./ "The idea came to me the other day when \_ 66\_ a homeless man asked me for money," re- \ ____)o calls Gates. "I suddenly realized that )_(_________ we were missing a golden opportunity. .-. /| W I L L | Here was a chance to make a profit (_/ \ / | W O R K () without any initial monetary investment. | \ \ F O R | Naturally, this man then became my \ \_)C A C H E | competition, so I had my limo driver '-'/`\"\""""""` run over him several times." / / \ \/^) ( \ \ / Microsoft engineers have been working around the \__) "` jgs clock to complete Gates' vision of panhandling for the 21st century. "We feel that our program designers really understand how the poor and needy situation works," says Microsoft Homeless product leader Bernard Liu. "Except for the fact that they're stinking rich." Microsoft Panhandling will be automatically installed with Windows 95. At random intervals, a dialog box pops up, asking the user if they could spare any change so that Microsoft has enough money to get a hot meal. ("This is a little lie," admits software engineer Adam Miller, "since our diet consists of Coke and Twinkies, but what panhandler doesn't embellish a little?") The user can click Yes, in which case a random amount of change between $.05 and $142.50 is transferred from the user's bank account to Microsoft's. The user can also respond No, in which case the program politely tells the user to have a nice day. The "No" button has not yet been implemented. "We're experiencing a little trouble programming the No button," Bernard Liu says, "but we should definitely have it up and running within the next couple of years. Or at least by the time Windows 2014 comes out. Maybe." Gates says this is just the start of an entire line of products. "Be on the lookout for products like Microsoft Mugging, which either takes $50 or erases your hard drive, and Microsoft Squeegee Guy, which will clean up your Windows for a dollar." (When Microsoft Squeegee Guy ships, Windows 95 will no longer automatically refresh your windows.) But there are competitors on the horizon. Sun Microsystems and Oracle Corporation are introducing panhandling products of their own. "Gates is a few tacos short of a combination platter, if you get my drift," says Oracle Head Honcho and 3rd degree black belt Larry Ellison. "I mean, in the future, we won't need laptop computers asking you for change. You'll have an entire network of machines asking you for money." Gates responded with, "I know what you are, but what am I?" General pandemonium then ensued. ======================================================================= +-------------------Bizarre Town Names------------------+ , /| .-'`| .--. \\ |o o| ( -, \ \\| - | .'o \| \ \ (_., '.________.-. | |\\ \ \ | | . | \| \ ______ /_/ ; | ; ||| ||| / | \ ||| ||| jgs /___|___\ //_| //_| Kissimmee, Forida Horneytown, North Carolina Whynot, North Carolina Hicksville, Ohio Knockemstiff, Ohio Slaughterville, Oklahoma Idiotville, Oregon Virginville, Pennsylvania Sweet Lips, Tennessee Ding Dong, Texas Looneyville, Texas Butts, Virginia Imalone, Wisconsin Toad Suck, Texas Intercourse, Pennsylvania Unalaska, Alaska French Lick, Indiana ================================================================= >-->Daffynitions TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods. PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened. SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water in it. SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut. CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed. EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know you are. FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas theater that isn't a western. MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone. EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver pizza. OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings. BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself." BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers. TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity. =================================================================== >-->From Our Friends Del, Casey & MrWu :) .---. .---. ( -o- )---( -o- ) ;-...-` `-...-; / \ / \ | /_ _\ | \`'.`'"--.....--"'`.'`/ \ '. `._.` .' / _.-''. `-.,___,.-` .''-._ `--._ `'-._______.-'` _.--` jgs / \ /.-'`\ .'. /`'-.\ ` '.' '.' >MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR NEXT SATURDAY As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM. Eastern Time all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out all neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this antiterrorist effort. __ __ / '. .' \ | |`\ \ / /`| | \.--' '-' '--./ .' .-'"'"'-. '. / .-(((( ))))-. \ .' / =/_o/___\o_\= \ '. .' / .-' '-. \ '. / / / \ \ \ / | \ \ / / | \ | \ /-`.__.__.`-\ / | \ \ ` \.-./ ` / / \ '-._ , '-' , _.-' / '. /()`'-'-=-'-'`()\ .' jgs `/`\ '()()()()()() /`\` All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity. God bless America. It is your patriotic duty to pass this on! The MARINES Are Doing their Part - - - Visit Here to View: http://www.jibjab.com/view/48868 Ya got to love the Marines. If you don't stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them. AMEN! --- ...TeeHee! Good One! -<,,>- >Historical tidbits ___, o___.-' / | _\_ |___.-' ` | | _ _ j _ _ [_]_[_]_[_]_[_]_[_] [__j__j__j__j__j__] [_j__j__j__j__] [__j__j__j__j_] [_j__j/V\_j__j] [__j_// \\__j_] [_j__| |_j__] [__j_|___|__j_] [_j__j__j__j__] [__j__j__j__j_] _ _ _ [_j__j__j__j__] _ _ _ _ _[_]_[_]_[_]_[__j__j__j__j_]_[_]_[_]_[_]_[_]_ _j__j__j__j[_j__j__j__j__]j__j__j__j__j_ j j j [ j j j j ] j j j j hjw Historical tidbits you didn't know you needed to know! In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are "limbs," therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the _expression, "Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg." ************************************************************** As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October)! Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs mad e from wool. They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig." Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy. ************************************************************** In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The "head of the household" always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit i n the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the "chair man." Today in business, we use the expression or title "Chairman" or "Chairman of the Board." ************************************************************** Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, "mind your own bee's wax." Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a smile" In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . . . therefore, the expression "losing face." ************************************************************** Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in "straight laced". . . wore a tightly tied lace. ************************************************************** Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "Ace of Spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full deck." ************************************************************** Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term "gossip." ************************************************************** At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in "pints" and who was drinking in "quarts," hence the term "minding your "P's and Q's " ************************************************************** One more: bet you didn't know this! In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem...how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the othe rs. The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations. However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys." Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey." (All this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you.) _______ | ___ o| |[_-_]_ | ______________ |[_____]| |.------------.| |[_____]| || || |[====o]| || || |[_.--_]| || || |[_____]| || || | :| ||____________|| | :| .==.|"" ...... |.==.| :| |::| '-.________.-' |::|| :| |''| (__________)-.|''||______:| `""`_.............._\""`______ /:::::::::::'':::\`;'-.-. `\ /::=========.:.-::"\ \ \--\ \ \`""""""""""""""""`/ \ \__) \ jgs `""""""""""""""""` '========' If you don't send this fabulous bit of historic knowledge to any and all your unsuspecting friends, your floppy is going to fall off your hard drive and kill your mouse. **************************************************** Keep a smile on your face and friends in your heart! ---- ...Thanks Del! You know what the sad part is? Only some of us will know what a floppy drive is and how it could fall off and kill our mouse! Most of us don't even have a floppy drive with our computer. We use CD's and DVD's to copy, play, and burn files on now. Just shows you how quickly times can change. :) I do find this stuff very Fun and Interesting. So much so, that I did up a page on Word/Phrase Origins. You can visit it here: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html ====================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: _ (_) <--|--> _ | _ jgs `\__/ \__/` `-. .-' ' Jack and one of his Chicago union pals were out ice fishing at one of their favorite fishing holes, up in the northern Wisconsin woods. Just fishing quietly, enjoying the solitude of the natural setting, and soaking up a few beers. Almost silently, so as not to scare any fish, Jack's pal says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife..... she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Jack continued to slowly sip his beer, then after a few moments of thought, said, "You better think that over first my friend, women like that are darn hard to find." -<..>- Q. Why can't you use a U.S.-made computer monitor in Australia or New Zealand? A. The colors would be wrong. The earth's magnetic field pulls the electron beams hitting the cathode ray tube in computer monitors. Each one has to be calibrated relative to its position in the earth's magnetic field. Adjust it in the northern hemisphere and its colors will be wrong if you plug it into a computer in the southern hemisphere. -<,,>- "Granmps, I'm really proud of you," said six year old Little Billie to his grandfather. "You are? ... Why?" asked the older man. Billie replied, "I noticed that when you sneeze, you've learned to put your hand in front of your mouth." "Of course I have," the old fellow said. "How else do you expect me to catch my teeth?" -<-->- Q. What does the name Kodak stand for? A. Nothing. George Eastman, founder of Eastman Kodak, says that the name was his invention: "I knew a trade name must be short, vigorous, incapable, of being misspelled...and in order to satisfy trademark laws, it must mean nothing. The "k" had been a favorite with me -- it seemed a strong, incisive sort of letter. Then it became a question of trying out a great number of combinations of letters that made words starting and ending with k. -<..>- "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. ----- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ----- A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! ------ Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. ------ Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. ------ Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." ====================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an ea rring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. -<>- My Italian American friend is very self-conscious about his height, or lack thereof. So I always steer clear of the subject. One day, he and I went to lunch at a Sub shop. "I'll take the Italian," he said to the guy behind the counter. "Salami, Provolone, and peppers." "Do you want a full hero or half one?" came the reply. "Ah... gimme a half," my friend says. After placing our orders, we took our seats. A few minutes later, my friend grimaced when we heard... "Small Italian, your order is up!" -<>- Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming. Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be married'. His reception wasn't dis- rupted by streakers or smoke-bombs, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order. When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed. Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down to room service and asked, "I'd like to order breakfast for two." At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, "Make that five." -<>- A young woman was worried about her stress-related habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick, so her friend advised her to take up yoga. She did, and soon her finger- nails were growing normally. Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervous- ness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead." -<>- Following are a few gems taken from actual resumes: "Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require pre- scription drugs. "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability." "Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap." "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job." "Number of dependents: 40." "Marital Status: Often. Children: Various." "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB: "Responsibility makes me nervous." "They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions." JOB RESPONSIBILITIES: "While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the ap- plication of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility." "I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award." "My goal is to be a meteorologist. Since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." "I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant." PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: "Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep." -<>- A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making a selection, my friend had lost sight of her child. "Reid!" she called out, noticing the boy was missing. "Reid!" Just as she spotted her son in the next aisle, she bumped into another customer. "Pardon me, ma'am," he said, "but most folks come here because they already like to read. No sense wasting your time trying to convince them." ================================================================ >-->From AndyChaps: /:""| .****, (\/) |:`66|_ @@@@@\ `, \/ C` _) aa`@@@\ \ \ ._| _ _ (_ ?@@| \ )_/ ( Y ) =' @@@@| | /`\8\ \ / \ (``/ | || |8| ___Y___ /^^\ | / || |8| {~@~ ~@~} /\::/|| | (\/) || |8| {_______} \ | ||| \ \/ || |~| ____)_(____ \| ||| \ (\/) :| |=: {~@~ ~@~ ~@~} |:|\\.:.:.::. \/ _____ ||_|,| {___________} |:| \ ':':':` { ~@~ } ))) |_______)___(______/((( \{ ~@~ } {_____} | {~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~} {_____} ____)_(___|_ {. . . . . . .} ____)_(____ {~@~ ~@~ ~@~} .{___________________}. {~@~ ~@~ ~@~} {. . . . . .}(,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,){. . . . . .} @~ {___________}.\ ~@ @~ /.{___________} ~@ (...................) ~@ _.--"""--._ @~ (..................) ** STORIES WRINKLES TELL ** You held my face in your hands A face deep and dark and tanned. And as your fingers trace the lines From all the years and passing times Gently your lips kissed each wrinkle And I felt your tears drop and sprinkle Across my forehead and down my cheeks Until they flowed like gentle creeks. You said my face was filled with stories About my lineage and battle and glories. You read my character between the lines And searched my face for other signs. Signs like scars and scrapes and such And other thing that add so much In telling the stories that wrinkles tell And help my face to tell them well. To tell my stories I've just begun And I'll start to tell them with wrinkle one. It takes me back so long ago To a time and era calm and slow. A time when the rooster's crow brought up the sum, And the summer's work was never done. A time to rest beneath the live oak trees, And play silly jokes at my uncle's knees. And every night Edward R. Murrow would give us the news, And the grand Ole Oprey played country and blues. And Matt Dillon ruled Dodge City in the tales of Gunsmoke, While Lucky Diamond and Elliott Ness pleased all the old folk. And there was William Boyd as Hopalong Cassidy, With home made candy and Amos and Andy. The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode away in the dust, And we changed the radio station and caused a family fuss. Cornbread and buttermilk were served among ovations, As was the menu of Saturday night's selections, Like the O.K. Corral, Louisiana Hayride and Ozark Jubilee Late night country music floated through out the trees. Skies ablaze with stars and me there in my rocking chair Staring out the window and smelling the summer's air. The moon glowing full, a summer's gorgeous sight, As I walked out on the porch to smell my uncle's pipe As he puffed the Mickey Twist with aromas stiff and ripe. Then he'd Pull a plug of Blood Hound chewing tobacco, And gently rock himself the old oak, broken rocker. And there I'd sit on the steps and allow my mind to dine On those good old days, simple place and seditious times While drinking the bountiful bouquet of the effervescent wine. Then I'd move to the porch in the quite and the still, And listen to the night and the whippoorwills. And I'd watch the shadows from where the moon beams shined, And savor the flavor of the honeysuckle vine. And tempt my senses with fresh country pine. I'd fight the coming sleep 'till I fell asleep at last, And dream of thing tomorrow but never in the past. And just as you have fallen deep, Within my arms to a deeper sleep, I hold you safely and kiss you brow, And treasure these moments together now. And I whisper gently in your sleeping ear, These aren't wrinkles, you see. my dear. These lines and furrows across my brow, They're just old stories I'm remembering now. No, they're not wrinkles running 'bout my face, But just old glories I've not unlaced. You slept so silent while the dew drops fell, As I whispered more stories my wrinkles will tell. And then you smiled from deep in your sleep, As a saintly tear floated down your cheek. And a shooting star from the heavens fell, . And I've no stories left to tell . --Harry Bernard Graham ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ,**, .\/. // \\-. \\_///`\\ '-\\__// /\ __ '--' \\| _ / | (\/) /~\'=--. `\/ | \ \/_/ \/ {{{~}\ \(______,_____,__\ \_\| / __ {{~{{ '-'/,---,-----,--.--, \/_/__\ .--='/~\ \{/.=--' ______/ ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}} \__/ /\__ -,-----,--.--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}} __/ |\ \ jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/ (\/) / /\ \_| /_/ |\\ \/ |__/ \/ ** 24 WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE ** Marriage may not be as easy as you thought but, those who put effort into their marriage will be rewarded with longevity, satisfaction, and growth with the one you love. Being the best partner possible is not always easy. At times it's not fair. At times it hurts; it can be lonely. It involves choosing to love your partner whether he or she deserves it or not. It involves continuing the initial vows you made when you began your marriage. Here are little ways you can strengthen your marriage: * Start each day with a kiss. Decide to begin the day with love. * Wear your wedding ring at all times. Let it be a visual reminder of your commitment. * Go on a date with your spouse once a week. Even if it's just for coffee, dedicate time for the two of you. * Accept differences. Try to remember that once you thought your spouse's idiosyncrasies were cute. Your chances of changing them are slim, so decide to live with them. * Be polite. Are you more polite to co-workers or store clerks than you are to the one you love? Practice good manners at home. * Be gentle. Harsh words and actions have no place in your home. Choose to be kind to those you love and who love you. * Give gifts. While diamonds are a girl's best friend, a card, a single rose, a favorite candy bar can also do the trick. * Smile often. Put on a happy face and let it determine your disposition. Remember how meaningful the glances were which you once gave each other. * Touch. A pat on the back or a soft caress of the cheek can show love and connection. * Talk about dreams. Get your conversation beyond coordinating schedules and talking about the kids. Take time to talk about ideas and dreams. * Give back rubs. Another day you'll be on the receiving end. * Laugh together. Find something daily to share a laugh about. Life is complete with laughter. * Do what your spouse wants before being asked. Anticipate your spouse's needs and jump right in to help. Put his or her needs before your own comfort. * Listen. You don't have to solve problems, just be an active listener. Turn off the TV, put down the newspaper, and give your spouse your full attention. * Encourage. The best way to give support is to encourage your spouse to do his or her best, to feel confident, or accomplish great things. * Call your spouse. Check in with each other throughout the day - just to say Hi or I love you. * Hold hands. Take a walk or watch TV while holding hands. * Look your best. Comfort doesn't have to be socks and a T-shirt for bed every night. * Apologize. Almost as good as I love you is I'm sorry, forgive me. Marriage isn't a game where you keep score. It's not important who's right. * Ask, What can I do to make you happier? You may be surprised at how simple it is to please your spouse. * Reminisce about your favorite times together. Talk about special times you shared, and create new times together. * Pray for your spouse daily. Don't let a day go by without praying for your marriage, your spouse, and your family. * Watch sunsets together. Find the beauty in life and share it. * End each day with a hug. Decide to end the day with love. ----------- Steve Stephens holds a master's degree and Ph.D. from Western Seminary. He is a licensed psychologist, a marriage and family therapist, and a successful seminar speaker. Steve and his wife, Tami, have three children and live in Oregon. Taken from: Understanding The One You Love. Copyright (c) 1998 by Erroll E. Stephens, Jr. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon. Used by permission. (457 total) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' \ ' / ' ' . .-"```"-. . ' \`-._.-`/ - - = \\ | // = - - ' \\|// ' jgs . ' \|/ ' . . ' ` ' . . / . \ . . . . ** Recipe For A Successful Marriage ** 3 cups Tenderness 1 cup Commitment 1 cup Consideration 1 cup Courtesy 2 cups Unselfish support 2 cups Milk of human kindness 1 gallon Faith in God and in each other Add: 2 cups -- Praise 3 cups -- Cooperation 1 small pinch of in-laws 1 realistic financial budget 3 T pure extract of "I am sorry" 1 cup Contentment 2 cups of open and honest communication 1 cup each: Confidence Encouragement Supportive friends Blindness to each other's faults Individual interests and hobbies Mix in: Several mutual activities and hobbies. Flavor with occasional tokens of your love and a dash of happy memories. Stir well and remove any specks of temper, jealousy, or criticism. Sweeten well with a generous portion of love and keep warm with a steady flame of devotion. Never serve with a hot tongue or cold shoulder. =========================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit: >From our Friend GAiL www.gail-gates.com Help Save Tahoe www.savetahoe.com -<>- >From The MouthPiece: GRAND ILLUSIONS http://www.grand-illusions.com/ TRUE EPITAPHS http://www.webpanda.com/ponder/epitaphs.htm HI MONKEY "Who is Hi Monkey? Well, I know he's a little stuffed monkey, but beyond that, I'm not quite sure. What I do know, though, is that the website boasts poetry, recipes, stories, and photos, all dedicated to this little stuffed white primate." http://www.himonkey.net/ -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: For all of you that have been monitoring the progress for little 3 year old Callie Stapp in her struggle for life, Heavens Gates will post all updates that come through her CarePages . Please keep this little girl in your prayers and forward to all your friends for their prayers. Ask God to please send another of His miracles for Callie. [In the name of Jesus Christ] God Bless you all and wishes for a very happy week, -John Heavens Gates Prayer Book for Callie Stapp http://heavens-gates.com/prayerbook/callie.html John w/ Life's Railway to Heaven (Patsy Cline with Willie Nelson) http://heavens-gates.com/_patsy/lifesrailway/ BE BLSSED ON THIS LORDS DAY http://summerhoosier.250free.com/Html/AngelBandGJ.html Remember Me This Way Via Juanita http://www.minibite.com/friends/rememberme.htm GraGran w/First Graders http://home.att.net/~scorh5/FirstGraders.html If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to... LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "As God said in the bible, and I think rightly..." -Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" --David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urging for investment in the radio in the 1920s "What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?" -Ronald Reagan commenting on Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel. [However, my personal opinion is that the "Every Which Way" movies were much superior to the "Bonzo" movies.] Age is nothing but experience and some of us are more experienced than others. — Andy Rooney Legend: a lie that has attained the dignity of age. -- Henry Louis Mencken Dogs are better than children. Even my friends with children say that. As a dog friend of mine likes to say, children are for people who can’t have dogs. – Unknown A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it. – Helen Thompson "Happy birthday to Barry Bonds! Forty-three years old today. Barry tested positive for cake." - David Letterman "The White House announced that right after President Bush got his colonoscopy on Saturday, he played with his dogs and then rode his bike. How old is he, 12?" - Jay Leno "I read this in the paper today: A restaurant in West Virginia is selling a 10-pound hamburger. It comes with lettuce, tomato, and an organ donor card." - Jay Leno "If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that." --Milton Jones "I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: 'This door is alarmed.' I said to myself: 'How do you think I feel?'" --Arnold Brown "I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat." --Marcus Brigstocke ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOOUSE :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: a href="http://tinyurl.com/2vrfzv">This Weeks regular Shangy emails ************************************************************************ -->Want to ADVERTISE in The Shangy FUN LList Publication? >To ADVERTISE: Advertise ************************************************************************ -->Missed Any of These Teachings? 'BABESS IN CHRIST','IN The Beginning', 'Crossing The Line','NEVER Give Up', 'FEAR - Feeling Kind Of Buggy', 'HAUNTINGS', 'Christianity And The Renewed Mind', or 'Curse Of The Law' --BE SURE TO Tell me which one you want or you'll get them all :) >For a Lesson: Teaching ************************************************************************