Story Time & More ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
WELCOME TO ALL OUR NEW Yahoo ShangyFunList Members!
I hope you will enjoy our group! Please feel free to
share your cool forwards, graphics, poems, recipes
or whatever else makes you SMILE with US! We Love Em!
-<>-
Y\ /Y
I EAT UP ALL Graphics - YUMMY! | \ _ / |
\ _____ | =(_)= |
\ ,-~" "~-. ,-~\/^ ^\/~-.
\ ,^ ___ ___ ^. ,^ ___ ___ ^.
/ .^ ^. .^ ^. \ / .^ ^. .^ ^. \
Y l O! l O! Y Y lo ! lo ! Y
l_ `.___.' `.___.' _[ l_ `.___.' `.___.' _[
l^~"-------------"~^I l^~"-------------"~^I
!\, ,/! ! !
\ ~-.,_______,.-~ / \ /
^. .^ ^. .^ -Row
"-.._____.,-" "-.._____.,-"
->Mr&MrsPacman<-
Well, I've been pretty busy lately. I went about updating
my animated gifs from some of the wonderful picture comments
I've been getting from my friends on MyYearBook.com
You can visit me on there here:
http://www.myyearbook.com/shangy
Our Friend Jo Ann says you can visit her here:
http://www.myYearbook.com/jjcwrt
If you are there, please let me know, it is difficult for
me to know who is who on that site.
Also if you are a member, Send me your link :)
-<>-
To View the Animations added to the Gallery visit here:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html
---
....Huggums to all our contributors!
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unknown
-<>-
>If You Haven't Already, PLEASE Take A Moment to...
Sign My New Guestbook!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
*~* Lots Of Thanks And Hugs! God Bless You Abundantly!
---
...I ESPECIALLY THANK YOU WHO Graciously Signed it! {{{HUGS}}}
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unknown
-<>-
>Hot off the 'Shangy' Press...
[This one made me blush! After I sent this off to the group
yesterday, it dawned on me to check it with IE to make sure
it was displaying properly with it like it did with my Netscape
Browser. I was already what I call a dead-head after spending
around 4 plus hours working on it so I hadn't thought about it.
To my utter horror, I saw it loaded all messed up! I blushed as
I quickly set about adding the code IE needed to make it work OK.
I happened to see number 9 on the ethics code list and thought
- yep - number 9 applies here for me - rright now! So for all who
happened to see it all yucky - I am sorry - You will need to
refresh your browser. I tend to be the one to leap first and check
later to see if there is something to land on over the fence!
Patience is something I always have to work at! :]
Our Friends Jo Ann and Viv sent me some forwards and
graphics that combined made an exceptional witness
page for God. See what you think here...
. ) /( ( ( . .
/\ . )\ )\ /( /\ /\
/=/ \(/ _\/ /( \=\ /=/ .
. /=/___ ()__)/ /(__() . \=\/=/
/=/////\\ (_) __\=|/
\_\////_(_ ////(_)\ .
////// _\ . _)_\\\\\\\
\///(. _\ /_ .)\\\\\
. (:) | _\ __ __/___o/\\\\\\_ .
___(:) ' \___ .__/\/\___/_/ / \\\\\\\
/ (:) \ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*\\\\\\\
/ _ (:) _ \ / / | _ _ _ _ \\\\\\
/ / \__ __/ \ \/ / |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\/_|
( \ | |__\ / . \_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\/ .
\ \| | \_/ |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\|
\ |_______|/ \ |\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/|
. \/ \ / . / jro\ .
/ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(\
\___________// . \___________________/
. \|/ . . .
Code of Ethics
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ethics.html
*~* THANK YOU BUNCHES JO ANN & VIV!
AS ALWAYS, PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH YOUR LOVED ONES - God Bless You!
====================================================================
>-->From FunnyBone: A Spelling Lesson... /)
//
(/
If GH stands for P as in Hiccough _/ ______
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough ) ( (-----(
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis /INK\ \ \
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour \___/ \ \
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette jgs _)_____)
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau `------`
The right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU
If GH stands for F as in Rough
If O stands for I as in Women
If TION stands for SH as in Solution
The right way to spell FISH should be GHOTION
---
...My goodness! Now I don't feel so bad when I have typo-errors!
================================================================
+------------------- Bizarre Criminals -------------------+
In September 1992, robbers in Las Vegas held up a van
thought to contain gambling chips, only to find that it
was carrying potato chips instead.
In 1998, a guard was caught smuggling a wad of money in
his underpants out of a bank in Atlanta when a tiny dye
capsule exploded, blowing a hold in his trousers.
In 1998, a would be Texas grocery store robber tried to
disguise his face with a balaclava, however, he failed to
remove a laminated badge which bore his name, place of
employment and position from his breast pocket.
Police had no difficulty catching a man who stole a barge
on the River Thames in 1972. There was a dock strike on
that day and his was the only craft moving.
The defense attorney for Tyrone Jerrols of Houston, Texas,
who was facing charges of murder, filed a motion to prevent
the use of Jerrol's nickname, claiming it would prejudice
the jury. Jerrol's nickname is "Hitman."
================================================================
>-->From TheJokester:
_|_
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#%@@ /~~~~.~~~~\ @@%#
@%%#%%, /~~~~/ \~~~~\ ,%%#%%@
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>Kids & Church...
Dear Pastor,
I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister.
Yours sincerely,
Arnold
Age 8, Nashville
Dear Pastor,
Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy
all week. I am Peter Peterson.
Sincerely,
Pete
Age 9, Phoenix
Dear Pastor,
My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about
something.
Robert
Age 11, Anderson
Dear Pastor,
I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't
give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise
in my allowance?
Love,
Patty
Age 10, New Haven
Dear Pastor,
My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week
even if she has a cold.
Yours truly,
Annette
Age 9, Albany
Dear Pastor,
I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be
there.
Stephen
Age 8, Chicago
Dear Pastor,
I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to
Disneyland.
Loreen
Age 9, Tacoma
Dear Pastor,
I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important
than money but I still want a raise in my allowance.
Sincerely,
Eleanor
Age 12, Sarasota
Dear Pastor,
Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California
tomorrow.
Laurie
Age 10, New York City
Dear Pastor,
I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner.
Love,
Ellen
Age 9, Athens
Dear Pastor,
Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a
new pitcher.
Thank you.
Alexander
Age 10, Raleigh
Dear Pastor,
My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I
want to because we have enough rules already in my house.
Joshua
Age 10, South Pasadena
Dear Pastor,
Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class.
Carla
Age 10, Salina
Dear Pastor,
I like your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished.
Ralph
Age 11, Akron
Dear Pastor,
How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him
or does He read about it in the newspapers?
Sincerely,
Marie
Age 9, Lewiston
----
...This one came from a friend of mine:
"I know what I want to be when I grow up."
"What?"
"God"
Victoria
Age 9, Ohio
-<>-
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>Crime
Two men were sitting side by side on an airliner flying from Denver to
Los Angeles.
The first man appeared nervous and finally explained that he was being
transferred to LA. "I hate Los Angeles," he said.
"Everything you hear about LA is bad -- smog, traffic, and worst of all,
the crime. Gangs everywhere, people getting shot and robbed, things
stolen, car jackings, and everyone hates everyone else."
"Oh, it's not that bad," said the second man. "I live in LA myself. Most
of that stuff you read is media hype. It's just not true. You'll find LA
is just like any other city, anywhere in America."
"Really?" responded the first. "Boy, that makes me feel a lot better.
You say you live in LA -- what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a tail gunner on a Bud Lite delivery truck."
-<**>-
,
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>Signs The Police Chief Doesn't Like You
He doesn't like to be seen with you in public.
Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol.
Your locker is also the broom closet.
The job description in your contract includes "crash test dummy" and
"pepper-spray test subject."
He sends you on drug raids - alone.
He always tells you that only wussies call for back-up.
He makes up "missing persons" and then sends you to look for them.
You always get the patrol car with the flat tire, no gas, a dead
battery, and a broken air conditioner.
He lied to you about an "officer exchange program" and put you on a
plane to Siberia.
He refers to you as "our mascot".
-<,,>-
________________
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/ \ / \ / / o_|
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| ' || --) \ |
|___________________|| --) \ /
| o| '''' | \__/
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"DON'T CROSS ME... !"
Rosebud
>Police Reports
"You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went
through."
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while."
"If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
"You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
"In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
"How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed
to write as many tickets as we can."
"I'm glad to hear that Chief [of Police] Hawker is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."
====================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :)
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Every special person who touches our life
leaves their own unique mark on our heart.
A mark which can never be chiseled away
even if the years eventually pull us apart.
We can take on their expressions and such
the more we share of ourselves together.
It's those little things about another person
which can remain a part in us forever.
People who we have met throughout our life become
a part of the person who we are today.
We learn and we grow from the relationships
each one touching us in it's own special way.
We laugh about spending too much time together
when we think we have become like each other.
But it just shows how much we've been touched
by the relationship we have found with another.
Those special people who can touch our lives
are like precious jewels amongst life's treasures.
They shine on us and leave a lasting impression
and unique mark on our heart, a gift without measures.
--Author Unknown
-<>-
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cjr 10feb0
>Three Wishes:
If I could have three wishes
And wishes did come true,
I would wish for blessings,
To always follow you.
I would wish for laughter
To fill your heart and home
And memories surround you
Whenever you're alone.
Then I'd wish you patience,
To forgive what might go wrong
I'd wish for love and peace and joy
To follow all day long.
I'd wish for you good health,
Friends and family galore
And when you have it all
I'd even wish you more....
I'd wish for prayers,
To give back unto myself,
As long as you are happy.
I'd wish for nothing else.
If I could have my wishes,
And if wishes did come true,
I'd wish for years of happiness,
And I'd give them all to you.
For just to see contentment,
On your face and know you're fine,
Would truly satisfy me
And bring joy to this heart of mine.
-- Author Unknown
---
...Aww sweet poems! Thank You Jo Ann!
-<>-
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>MEAN MOMS
Was your mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest
mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,
we had to eat sandwiches. And you can bet our mother fixed us a
dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd
think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends
were and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we
said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or
less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break
the child labor laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes,
make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty
the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at
night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us
telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the
time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in
the back of her head.
Then life got really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just
honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so that she could meet them. While everyone else could date when
they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our
mother, we missed out on a lot of things other kids experienced.
None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now
that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are
doing our best to be mean parents just like our mom was.
I think that's what's wrong with the world today: there are not
enough mean moms!
---
...Yeah, my mom was mean but in a not so nice way :)
-<>-
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Only in America.......
.....do drugstores make the SICK walk all the way to the
BACK of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.
.....do people order DOUBLE cheeseburgers, LARGE fries,
and a DIET coke.
.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
PENS to the counters.
.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
.....do we buy HOT DOGS in packages of TEN and
HOT DOG BUNS in packages of EIGHT.
. .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
---
...TeeHee - Thanks Jo Ann!
-<>-
.--.
/_/) )
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jgs ((_))/
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>Pin Drop
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell
was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for
Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George
Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United
States has sent many of its fine young men and women into
great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The
only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is
enough to bury those that did not return.
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there was a conference in France where a number of
international engineers were taking part, including
French and American. During a break one of the French
engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you
heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent
an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami
victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?' A
Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: ' Our
carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat
several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and
can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities;
they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed
3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several
thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day,
and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in
transporting victims and injured to and from their flight
deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France
have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference
that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception,
he found himself standing with a large group of Officers
that included personnel from most of those countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped
their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained
that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans
learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we
always have to speak English in these conferences rather
than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American
Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians,
Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have
to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE.. A group of
Americans , retired teachers, recently went to France on
a tour. >
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in
Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes
to locate his passport in his carry on 'You have been to
France before, monsieur?' the customs officer asked
sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been
to France previously. 'Then you should know enough to
have your passport ready.' The American said, 'The
last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.'
'Impossible. Americans always have to show your
passports on arrival in France !' The American
senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he
quietly explained. 'Well, when I came ashore at
Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this
country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it
to.'
You could have heard a pin drop
________________________________________________________
What Is A Veteran? A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty,
discharged, retired, or reserve -- is someone who, at one
point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to
'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to,
and including his life.' That is honor, and there are way
too many people in this country today, who no longer
understand that fact
---
...Neat Stories - Thanks Jo Ann!
-<>-
>LINKS
The Brandon Law - Online Petition
Brandon Sealey would probably still be alive if was wearing a helmet.
More skaters should be wearing ... To prevent it from happening again,
The Brandon Law...
www.gopetition.com/online/14895.html
Developed by John Walsh from Americas Most Wanted.
When you visit this site you can enter your address and a map will pop
up with your house as the small icon of a house and red, blue, green,
dots surrounding your entire neighborhood. When you click on these dots
a picture of a person will appear with an address and the description of
the crime he or she had committed. The best thing is that you can show
your children pictures and see how close these people live to your home
or school. This site was developed by John Walsh from Americas Most
Wanted. Another tool to help us keep our kids safe.
Visit
www.familywatchdog.us
----
...Cool Links! Thanks Jo Ann!
=========================================================
>-->In The 'Worldly' News:
>From JibJab:
My brother and I are pleased to announce the release
of our 2008 election parody...
Time for Some Campaignin'
http://lyradmin.jibjab.com/t/29946011/118751910/76855/0/
-<>-
>From GrassFire:
.__ _..._
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||\\`.d.__`Y8P_,\|| GAS Theft on the RISE!
\\|| `"\"""/---'||
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| | / `---.._\ ,'
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\__|_,'
Gas prices continue to soar yet Congress does nothing!
Tell Congress: No vacation until drilling ban lifted
“Lift The Offshore Drilling Ban
Before Congress’ Summer Recess”
Visit here to read and sign petition:
http://www.grassfire.org/108/petition.asp
-<>-
>From CoffeeBreak:
Man sues over mistaken identity
A Sweet Home, Ore., man said he is suing his neighbors after
they confused him with a registered sex offender who shares
his name and birth date. Richard Bryan Smith, 41, said his
neighbors, Ray and Tracy Kelly, posted flyers around the
neighborhood that bore pictures of another Richard Bryan
Smith who has similar features, indicating the two Smiths
were one and the same, the Albany (Ore.) Democrat-Herald
reported Tuesday. The second Smith is a registered sex
offender in Reno, Nev., and currently resides in southern
California. Smith said the Kellys have been telling locals
that he and the other Smith are one and the same, the
newspaper reported. "It's truly humiliating," Smith said.
"It's intimidating walking down the road with my kids."
The Linn Circuit Court lawsuit is seeking $150,000 for
alleged defamation and intentional infliction of emotional
distress.
Stalin, last czar nearly tied in fame poll
Josef Stalin and Czar Nicholas II are running neck-and-neck
in an online Russian poll to determine the country's most
significant historical figure. The Internet poll, part of
state-run TV station Russia's "Name of Russia" program,
had attracted more than 2.3 million votes as of 9 p.m.
Monday, with 252,360 cast for Soviet dictator Stalin and
252,262 votes cast in favor of Nicholas II, the country's
last monarch, the Moscow Times reported Tuesday. Stalin
had initially held a healthy lead over the czar until a
glut of votes in support of Nicholas poured in thanks to
a campaign on Russian social networking site
Odnoklassniki.ru. As of Monday evening, Soviet leader
Vladimir Lenin was in third place with 171,224 votes and
folk singer Vladimir Vysotsky was in fourth with 150,405
votes. In fifth place was Peter the Great with 115,115
votes. Internationally renowned playwright Anton Chekhov
and poets Alexander Pushkin and Sergei Yesenin were also
in the top 50 as of Monday.
Suspect claims he was checking security
A man who took $3,350 in cash from a Swedish bank and
subsequently returned the money claims he was just testing
the bank's security. Police in Anaset said the man walked
into an unlocked safe at Swedbank on Oct. 11, 2007, and
walked off with the cash, but the money reappeared in the
bank's mailbox the following weekend with a note, the
Swedish news agency TT reported Tuesday. "I am sorry that
I took the money. I feel very ashamed," the note read.
Investigators said they tracked down the suspect after he
was caught on security cameras entering and leaving the
vault and his fingerprints were found on the note with the
returned cash. Police said the man initially denied the
crime, but later admitted to taking and then returning
the money. However, his story changed from that indicated
by the note. The suspect told officers he saw the unlocked
safe and felt an impulse to check the bank's security. He
said he never intended to keep the money and denied writing
the apology note. The man has been arrested on suspicion
of theft.
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
-- Man seeks career as human billboard ----------
LACONIA, N.H. - A Laconia, N.H., tattoo enthusiast said
he has found a way to make extra cash from his hobby by
renting himself out as a human billboard. Victor Thompson,
39, said he is charging $200 per square inch for companies
to advertise their products and services with tattoos on
his skin, the Boston Herald reported. "I'm getting paid
to do what I like to do best," Thompson said. "It's a one-
time fee and it's a lifetime advertisement." Thompson, a
former restaurant employee, created www.tattmetto.com with
his business partner, Josh Youssef. "He's thrilled with
the idea because he's getting paid to do what he loves,
which is talk to people and he's getting paid to get
tattooed," said Yousse, a New Hampshire native who owns
a computer store. "It's a win-win situation for him."
Thompson previously made headlines when he announced his
plan to tattoo his head to resemble the helmets worn by
the New England Patriots, his favorite football team.
"Tattoos are my life," he said. "I'm the first person in
the world that's got a Patriot helmet tattoo. Now I'm the
first person to be a walking billboard."
-- Police: Burglars burst through wall -----------
ORLANDO, Fla. - Florida authorities said nearly $2,000 in
merchandise was stolen from a video game store after break-
ing though walls like Sonic the Hedgehog. The Orange County
Sheriff's Office said two thieves broke through the drywall
of a business adjacent to a GameStop store, sprayed a fire
extinguisher to leave security cameras useless and made
off with merchandise, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported
Thursday. Authorities said the burglary was the latest in
a string of crimes targeting Florida GameStop locations.
Thieves used a similar method of breaking through the
drywall of an adjacent business to burgle a Kissimmee,
Fla., location in September, the Sentinel said.
-- Boy uses toy radar to scare speeders -----------
LOUISVILLE, Ky. - An 11-year-old Kentucky boy who became
fed up with speeding motorists on his block has taken it
upon himself to brandish his toy radar gun at the roadside.
Residents in the boy's subdivision have lodged numerous
complaints about motorists driving as fast as 55 mph on
the 25 mph road. But Landon Wilburn, 11, took matters into
his own hands, The Courier-Journal newspaper in Louisville,
Ky., reported Thursday. Neighbors said the boy can often
be seen at the roadside holding his Hot Wheels toy radar
gun -- which actually measures the speeds of the cars --
while wearing an orange vest and flashing a battery-
operated flashlight with a built-in siren, the newspaper
said. George Ayers, 61, a resident of the neighborhood,
said he at first didn't recognize the young roadside
vigilante. He said that at first glance, the 11-year-old
appeared to be a police officer. "When I saw it happening,
I got the biggest kick out of it," Ayers told The Courier-
Journal. "People were locking up their brakes when they
saw him."
===============================================================
>-->From Our Friend Tony In Australia :)
((),).
))) 6(6
((c` _e/
)))'(
((( , \
)\ \ .___,-
( )\.__,-._\
/ -/ \ |(
___( /_)\ \ _____ _____
'.__,' \_\ -
`
joris
>The Lonely Girl
Bare foot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by. She
never tried to speak, she never said a word. Many people passed, but
never did one person stop. Just so happens, the next day I decided to go
back to the park, curious if the little girl would still be there. Right
in the very spot as she was yesterday, she sat perched on high, with the
saddest look in her eyes.
Today I felt the need to forget my own problems and walk over to the
little girl.
As we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young
children to play alone. As I began walking towards her, I could see the
back of the little girl's dress indicated a deformity. I figured that
this was the reason the people just passed by and made no effort to
help.
As I got closer, the little girl slightly lowered her eyes to avoid my
intent stare. I could see the shape of her back more clearly. It was
grotesquely shaped in a humped over form.
I smiled to let her know it was OK, I was there to help, to talk. I sat
down beside her and opened with a simple Hello. The little girl acted
shocked and stammered a "hi" after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled
and she shyly smiled back. We talked 'til darkness fell and the park was
completely empty. Everyone was gone and we at once were alone.
I asked the girl why she was so sad. The little girl looked at me and
with a sad face said, "Because I'm different."
I immediately said "that you are!" and smiled.
The little girl acted even sadder, she said, "I know."
"Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent."
She looked at me and smiled, slowly she stood to her feet, and said,
"Really?"
"Yes, you are, you're like a little guardian angel sent to watch over
all those people walking by."
She nodded her head "yes" and smiled, and with that she removed her
coat and she spread her wings and said, "I am. I'm your guardian
angel," with a twinkle in her eye.
I was speechless. Surely I was seeing things. She said, You have always
been selfish and I was assigned to you, but I remained in the background
waiting for a time when you would see that there are those other than
you who have problems,for once you thought of someone other than
yourself, so my job here is done."
Immediately I stood to my feet and said, "Wait, so why did no one stop
to help an angel?"
She looked at me and smiled, "You're the only one who could see me, and
you believed it in your heart."
And She was gone.
And with that my life was changed dramatically. So, when you think
you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you.
---
____
(\ __ /)
( \(__)/ )
( /<>\ )
(\/\/) Marilyn
/ \ Cox
( )
~~~~
...Aww, what a neat story! Brings goosebumps! Has any of our group
spoken to an angel before? Please let us know.
I have. It was a very interesting experience. I shall never forget it.
If enough of you ask me to, I might just relate my true angel story :)
How about miracles? Anybody got a miracle to relate?
Come on - Tell me a story! Tell me a story!
AS LONG AS IT IS TRUE, I will post it!
Send it to me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
======================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Viv :)
~~
~
_u__
/____\
|[][]| OLD LADY...TELEVISION INTERVIEW
|[]..|
'--'''
ptr
There's a story told about an elderly lady in Arkansas. The state voted
to increase welfare payments to indigents. Hoping for a tear-jerker
story, a television interviewer went into the back hills where many
welfare recipients lived.
`
The old woman he chose to interview lived in a one-room shack: draughty
in winter; stifling in summer. Her bed was a few rough planks nailed
together, with a pine-needle mattress. A couple thin blankets, and a
fireplace, did little to protect her from the cold.
`
Her furniture, a table and two chairs, were fashioned from the same
rough wood as her bed. Some shelves held a few cans of food from the
general store, a three mile walk down the road. Several jars of
preserves and a few squash completed her larder.
`
She had no fridge or freezer. The fireplace provided heat for cooking.
With no phone or television her only connection with the outside world
was an old radio that pulled in two or three local stations on a good
day.
`
The old woman had one convenience, running water. A crystal clear stream
gurgled a short distance behind her home. `
A small garden near her back door provided fresh vegetables during the
summer, and some squash and turnips for the winter. A tidy flower garden
brightened the front of her house.
`
The television crew arrived and set up their big expensive cameras.
Their mobile station broadcast pictures of the woman and the place she
called home.
`
Eventually the interviewer asked the old woman, "If the government gave
you $200 more each month, what would you do with it?"
`
Without hesitation the woman replied, "I'd give it to the poor."
`
(Author Unknown)
-<..>-
The Attorney (This Is So Beautiful)
After living what I felt was a "decent" life, my time on earth came to
the end. The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting
room of what I thought to be a courthouse. The doors opened and I was
instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table.
The corner door flew open and there appeared the Judge in full flowing
robes. He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room. I
couldn't take my eyes off of Him. As He took His seat behind the bench,
He said, "Let us begin."
The prosecutor rose and said, "My name is Satan and I am here to show
you why this man belongs in hell." He proceeded to tell of lies I told,
things I stole, and in the past when I cheated others. Satan told of
other horrible perversions once in my life and the more he spoke, the
further down in my seat I sank I was so embarrassed, I couldn't look at
anyone, even my own Attorney, as the Devil told of sins even I
completely forgotten about. As upset as I was at Satan for telling all
these things about me, I was equally upset at My Attorney who sat there
silently not offering any form of defense at all. I know I was guilty of
those things, but I did some good in my life - couldn't that at least
equal out part of the harm I'd done?
|\___/|
/ \
| /\__/|
||\ <.><.> Satan finished with a fury and said,
| _ > )
\ /---- "This man belongs in hell, he is
| -\/
/ \ guilty of all I have charged
Unknown
and there is not a person who can prove otherwise."
When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might approach the
bench The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and
beckoned Him to come forward. As He got up and started walking, I was
able to see Him in His full splendor and majesty. I realized why He
seemed so familiar; this was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my
Savior.
He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, "Hi, Dad," then He
turned to address the court. "Satan was correct in saying this man
sinned, I won't deny any of these allegations. And, yes, the wage of sin
is death, and this man deserves to be punished."
Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with outstretched arms
and proclaimed, "However, I died on the cross so this person might have
eternal life and he accepted Me as his Savior, so he is Mine."
My Lord continued with, "His name is written in the Book of Life and no
one can snatch him from Me. Satan still does not understand yet. This
man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy."
As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused, looked at His Father and
said,"There is nothing else that needs to be done. I've done it all."
The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The
following words bellowed from His lips... "This man is free The penalty
for him was already paid in full. Case dismissed"
As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving, "I won't
give up, I will win the next one."
I asked Jesus as He gave me my instructions where to go next, "Have you
ever lost a case?" Christ lovingly smiled and said, "Everyone that comes
to Me and asked Me to represent them, received the same verdict as you,
"PAID IN FULL."
---
...Great Stories! Thanks Viv!
-<>-
_._
.' '.
/ \ ___
_.. _.--. | / |.' `'.
;-._ .' `\ .' `\ \| / \
.' `\/ ; / _ \.=..=./ _.' /
| `\.---._| '. .-'-.}`.<>.`{-'-. /
.--; . ( .' '. \ .---.{ <>()<> }.--..-'
/ _ \_ './ _. `-./ _},'<>`.{_ `\
( = \ )`""'\;--. .' .-'/ )=..=;`\`- \
{= (| ) /`. ( / /| \ )
( =_/ )__..-\ .'-..___.' : '.___..-'
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'--' | .' | \ \ /'. _.'
\ ' / |\.\ ; /`--.-'
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/__.-' \_.'jgs \ \ |-|
>SMILES From The BIBLE:
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew
out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's
Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because
the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer
lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan-The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan ...)
PS... Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . 'He-brews'
KEEP SMILING!!!! GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!
Friends are God's way of taking care of us.
---
...TeeHee - Good Ones! Thanks Viv!
====================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Bob :)
______________
/ /|
/ / |
/____________ / |
| _________ | |____________________
| | | | |/ /|, /|
| | .. | | / / /9 / |
| | . | | /_______ / /9 / |
| |_________| | | ____ +| /9 / |
|________++___|/|________|/9 / |
________________ ,9` / / |
/ -/ /- /| ,9 / /| |
/______________ //|,9 / / | |
| ______ ||,9 / / | |
| -+ |_9366_| ||/ / /| | |
|_______________|/__________/ / | | |
/////----------/| | /__| | |___
|o o \o| \| | | | | |
|o \|_ || o|______ | |__| | |_____
|o \_ | || o| | | | | | /
|o / |\ /| o| | | | |__|/
|o o| | | |
|o-------------o| | | |
|o /\/\ o| | | |
|o / o o| o| | | |
|o / \_+_/ o| | | |
|o |\ \ o| | | |
|o | |+ +-| o| | | |
|o-------------o| | | |
|o /| o| | | / m1a
\/|/|/ |/\/|/\/ |____|/
>The price of Gas versus Printer Ink
All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just
illustrates how outrageous some prices are....
You will be really shocked by the last one!
(At least, I was...)
Compared with Gasoline......
Think a gallon of gas is expensive?
This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective.
Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ..........$9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ......... $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ...... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ... $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ....... . $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon
And this is the REAL KICKER...
Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the
buyers don't even know the source
(Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)
Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?
So they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at...............
(you won't believe it....but it is true........)
$5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)
So, the next time you're at the pump,be glad your car doesn't run on
water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid,
Printer Ink!
Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the
pump...
And - If you don't pass this along to at least one person,
your muffler will fall off!!
Okay, your muffler won't really fall off...but, you might run out of
toilet paper
---
..."Giggles" Yeah, Yeah, I hear ya! Thanks Bob!
====================================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it -
English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England .
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it?
Teachers teach and preachers preach.
Yet, if teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people
recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop,
how come Mother is not Mop?
I give up !
-<>-
PUNS
.,,,. ... .,,,.
((o o)) (`@ @`) ((6 6))
___\ - /___ ___\ o /___ ___\ v /___
($_ & _$) ($_ % _$) ($_ & _$)
| % | | & | | % |
| & | | % | | & |
/ % \ / & \ / % \
_/ / \ \_ _/ / \ \_ _/ / \ \_
($__/ \__$) ($__/ \__$) ($__/ \__$) ldb
The mother of Hansel and Gretel was a redhead. So they were ginger
bred. (Joseph Harris)
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They
left a little note on the windscreen, it said "Parking Fine." So that
was nice. (Tommy Cooper)
My cavity wasn't fixed by my regular dentist, but by a guy who was
filling in.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When the magician made his beautiful helper disappear, she was nothing
to look at.
==================================================================
>-->From Lisa Gardner: A thriller!
\|||/
(o o)
----ooO-(_)-Ooo--------
SAY GOODBYE
Prostitutes have been disappearing in Atlanta. One by one, gone
without a trace. No crime scene. No bodies. Just troubled women who
suddenly aren’t there any more. Except someone has finally seen
something. One terrified young girl needs serious help, and she’s
chosen Kimberly to save her.
Or has she?
As each shattering discovery leads to more and more shocking
revelations, Kimberly realizes she is on the hunt for the most
dangerous predator of her career. He has concocted the perfect method
for murder. And he has been waiting for Kimberly and her unborn child.
If he has his way, she will never have a chance to Say Goodbye.
Want a signed copy? Contact White Birch Books at (603) 356-3200 by
July 15, 2008 to order the signed Lisa Gardner novel(s) of your
choice. Want to know more about the life of a suspense author? Check
out www.LisaGardner.com {http://www.lisagardner.com} to watch
snippets from the day in the life of fairly normal person writing
fairly twisted novels. You can be the judge!
===================================================================
_.---,_
.' `'.
\ __..-'\
}-"` \
/__,,..---.._|
\ |
|---..__ |
/ ``"-./
.'---...__ |
.' ``"-./
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|| O| | O| ""=='_\
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( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\
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'._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ;
jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~
/=" / | "==\
/ = (_ \ "==\
;="= `\_) =="\
>-->Dog and Cat Tricks - By Bruce Cameron
Copyright 2002 W. Bruce Cameron — Please do not remove the copyright
from this essay
I own two cats and a dog, which I calculate gives me about two and a
half pet brains to deal with.
In point of fact, I don't "own" these animals at all. I pay for their
food and their vet bills, I clean out litter boxes and feed them and
bathe the dog when she has rolled in road kill, but the pets actually
belong to my children.
The cats are complex animals who have worked out sophisticated social
rules between them, and who pad silently through the house in a
never-ending game of Stalk-and-Pounce. The dog knocks over lamps and
barks for hours at the ceiling fan. The cats are usually disappointed to
see me, feeling their existence would be vastly improved if some fatal
mishap would befall me so they could cash in on my life insurance. The
dog loves me so heartily that she bounds over to lick my face in wet
greeting even when she's only been out of sight for the few moments it
took her to drink out of the toilet.
The cats disdainfully inspect the food we put out for them and seem
disgusted when it isn't tuna or caviar. The dog eats my shoes.
I have been unable to train the cats to do anything, unless "ignore on
command" could be considered a good trick. All I ever wanted them to
learn was to stop streaking out the door when it opens, or, once
outside, to come when called instead of fleeing out into the
neighborhood and forcing the entire family to embark on a cat hunt. When
it comes to the dog, I've tried to train it to do all the standard
things, like "Sit," "Stay," "Speak," and "Go Outside and Retrieve the
Cat." Of these, only "Speak" seems to have taken hold in its puny brain.
Now I am trying to teach it "Shut Up." Whenever I try to command it to
sit, holding out a morsel of food as bribe, the dog's butt is on the
carpet for less than a second before it is barking, leaping to sniff my
hands, turning excited circles, and drooling.
So it is with a certain amount of amazement that I've recently observed
that the cats have decided, on their own, to take on the task of
training the dog.
After my children have fled the dinner table (I am working on training
them in the "Clear the Dishes" trick, but they prefer the "It's Not My
Job It Is Someone Else's Turn" trick) the cats will leap up and sniff at
the remains of the meal, disgusted that human beings can possibly eat
anything less expensive than cat food. Then they stare over at the dog,
who walks up to the table and sits down like a military K-9-back rigid,
head alert, and silent . The cats inspect this performance, and, if they
deem it worthy, bat down something from one of the plates, a crumb which
my dog snatches out of the air like a short stop snagging a line drive.
The canine instantly returns to parade rest, and the trick is repeated a
few times.
Then the cats glance at each other, a certain smugness in their
expression, like skating coaches who have seen their protégé finally
execute that triple axel. The dog watches, sensing what is coming. The
cats nod and the canine rises in a motion I have never even attempted to
teach her, a perfect "Sit Up," with paws held motionless in the air in
front of her face.
The cats have taught the dog to pray to them.
With feline patience, they make the dog remain frozen in position for at
least ten seconds before snaking a paw out and pitching another morsel
into the canine's mouth.
That's the end of the dog show, for now. The cats jump down and the dog
returns to normal, literally shaking herself out of the spell and coming
over to see whether slobbering on me will entice me to feed her.
Next time the dog chews up one of my shoes, I'm not going bother to
punish her.
I'm just going to tell the cats about it.
Write to Bruce:
http://www.wbrucecameron.com/email_bruce.htm
====================================================================
>-->Fun Places To Net Visit :)
>From TheMouth:
FAMOUS LIKE ME
Do you share your birthday or name with a famous person or
celebrity? Just enter your birthday and/or name to learn
who is famous like you!
http://www.famouslikeme.com/
SONG FACTS
Song meanings and song information, including album and
chart position. Music trivia, title search, lyrics
database.
http://www.songfacts.com/
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links
IN THE HAND OF GOD
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/INTHEHANDOFHFGOD.HTML
Carolyn with/ 409 ~The Beach Boys~
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/409-beachboys.html
John w/ Remembering Jo Stafford
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/dream/
My Sweet Friend
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/Walk.html
Picken's Energy Plan
http://www.pickensplan.com/
Food In a Minute
http://heinz.com.au/
Ohio Indians
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ohioindians.html
World Of Wonder
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldofwonder.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jul2007/CatInTheAct.jpg
Aww Animals 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals2.html
Delivery
http://www.buffaloschips.com/61601.htm
Global Warming
http://www.buffaloschips.com/61602.htm
Golf Parrot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/61603.htm
That Should Get Your Heart Starting
http://www.buffaloschips.com/61604.htm
Idiot
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22619.htm
Important Message
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22620.htm
Hot Cup
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22617.htm
Hot Drink
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22618.htm
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>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his
life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the
last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
-- Author Unknown
"In a recent interview, the wife of Yankee slugger Alex
Rodriguez is claiming that he tapped her phone. In
response, A-Rod said, 'I didn't tap her phone, I tapped
Madonna.'"
- Conan O'Brien
"The nice thing about standards is that there are so
many of them to choose from."
- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
"The petty economies of the rich are just as amazing as
the silly extravagances of the poor."
- William Feather
---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOOUSE :) Shangy!
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-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service
You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806
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-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
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