Stuff About Kids And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This smokin' hot one is from our friend Linda. I do so love trains and this one is a most beautiful inspirational for our New Year! Turn up your sound, give it time to load and check it out here... /=/ __/=/ /::/| _/::/ / /_~/||/ [__]/|' / /// :F_P: (o)|/ y// /=/ /=/ New Year Train http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newyeartrain.html --- ...A delightful one! Thank You Linda! This next hottie is from our friends Linda and Johanna. A very thoughtful inspirational sure to bring you smiles. Check it out here... .-""""--. / ) / --"` / _`:---. | .-' `\ \ / .----'./ \ : ,-' ~(.).)\ \_| \ ._) | / | \.__, / _.--' )`///-,-' / / _| (_\\ | (____/____) \ ___/ | _ `---( ` ) `-, .' (__.'._/'._/ |`| | __/ / / // | `--. || /_____) jgs `=---` Seven Wonders Of The World http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wonders.html --- ...such a beautiful one! Thank you ladies! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Of Historical Interest 1. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes; when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight" came from. ()___ 2. Nutmeg is extremely ()//__/)_________________() poisonous if injected ||(___)//#/_/#/_/#/_/#()/|| intravenously. ||----|#| |#|_|#|_|#|_|| || ||____|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|#||/|| 3. Only one person in two jgs || |#|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|| billion will live to be 116 or older. 4. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the alphabet (developed by Western Union to test telex/twx communications) .-----------. 5. The only 15-letter word that can be ___ | | spelled without repeating a letter /_._`.__| |_ is "uncopyrightable". `(|_|_m_______m_|_|) |_______________| 6. Thirty-five percent of the people who /o o o o o o o o\ use personal ads for dating are already /o o o o o o o o o\ married. ;[]o o o o o o o o[]; jgs | -============- | 7. When opossums are playing "possum," '------------------' they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror. 8. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks more than an inch every year because, when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. _ \`\ 9. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived |= | from an old English law that stated /- ;.---. that you couldn't beat your wife with _ __.' (____) anything wider than your thumb. ` (_____) _' ._ .' (____) 10. The term "the whole 9 yards" came from ` (___) WW2 fighter pilots in the Pacific. jgs --`'------'` When arming their airplanes on the ground, the 50-caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards." 11. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. _.-~~-. .' '-. 12. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation /_/ -. `> used in the Army for "General Purpose" {__}\ -.~` / vehicle, GP. || '-. /.-' || ||| 13. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, "`""||"`"`|||""`""`"` moves only six inches for each gallon || __|||_ of diesel that it burns. _||_ /||\ jgs `""""` 14. No NFL team that plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Super Bowl. 15. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver." 16. In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice .- without a hunting license. ( \ 17. There are an average .-. .-. | of 18 sesame seeds (-. \/.- ) _..---"""""-. / on a McDonald's '. ` '--' `\__.: Big Mac bun. /dd / / /--' '-.| _.; \ ( 18. The world's ter- -' `--`-.)\ |-..____.-;-. > mites outweigh the / / / `--' .' / world's humans 10 to 1. .'.'_/ jgs `--' `` `` 19. The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. 20. When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year. 21. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka. 22. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. _ (.".) _ 23. It takes 3,000 cows to supply '-'/. .\'-' the NFL with enough leather /_ _\ _...._ for a year's supply of foot- (` o o `)---` .::'. balls. jgs /"---"` .::' ' \ |: .::. / .::;| 24. On average, 100 people choke |' ::' .:| ':|| to death on ball-point pens \\ \ \ '\ /\\ every year. \`;-'| |-.-'-, \ |) ( | ( | `-uu ( | 25. It was the accepted practice || || || || in Babylon 4000 years ago /_( /_( /_(/_( that, for one month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the "honeymoon." 26. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's." 27. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle," is the phrase inspired by this practice. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 7 is Old Rock Day January 8 is National JoyGerm Day and Man Watcher's Day January 9 is Play God Day January 10 is Peculiar People Day January 11 is National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day January 12 is Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day January 13 is Make Your Dream Come True Day and Blame Someone Else Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: dentist: /-----| \-' | Q | )C ~\/\ | \\_ \ | \_77 |\ | ejm 96 |`` \ \ | >Dental Reconstruction During the year that my husband was undergoing expensive dental reconstruction, he got to know everyone in the dentist's office. When a couple of staffers teased him about his garbled speech after he got a mouth-numbing anesthetic, he replied, "Well, it's hard to talk with $5,000 in your mouth." -<>- >Insomnia My husband, an accountant, and I both suffer from occasional bouts of insomnia. One night I suggested we try a technique I'd read about, which was to encourage relaxation. Laying with our eyes closed, I described a relaxing scene: "We're in a beautiful, oceanside bungalow on a tropical island. A gentle breeze is coming through the French doors that lead to our private ocean path." My husband's quiet voice startled me from my peaceful place. "How much is this vacation costing us?" -<>- __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || >New Year's Dinner As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game. Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing. "See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing." -<>- .-. ((`-' \\ \\ .="""=._)) ; '=. "'" '==" PjP after/jgs >Snake Feeding One of the highlights of the freshman university biology class was the monthly feeding of a caged rattlesnake kept in the laboratory. One time, the entire class gathered around the cage and, in complete silence, watched as the feeding took place. "I'm jealous of the snake," the instructor said. "I never get the class's undivided attention like this." A student answered matter-of-factly, "You would if you could swallow a mouse." -<>- >What's For Dinner? In helping my daughter prepare for a dinner party, I volunteered to clean the refrigerator and freezer to make room for the extra food. I restacked all the frozen dinners, but one casserole blocked my progress. Uncovering it, I found something resembling sauerkraut, noodles and hot dogs in a cream sauce ... definitely a disposal item. I asked my daughter about tossing it out. "Oh, no," she said. "You can't throw that away. Every time my husband comes home and sees it defrosting, he suddenly remembers seeing a new restaurant we have to try." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) _ _{Ss //\\_/_/\Ss _/_| \_/ \_ pb >ex wife Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks ... "Honey, I've been thinking ... now that we are married, I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns, boat, and airplane. Tim gets this horrified look on his face. She says, "Darling, what's wrong?" "There for a minute you were sounding like my EX-WIFE." "Ex-Wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!" "I wasn't." --- ...There ya go! Never can change em! HaHa! Thanks Linda! ================================================ >-->From Our Friend KarenF :) /\/\ / / / _/,/ / _/` (/"/////, ( '```--.___ /' _), ,- '-. /, / \ (\ \, \_()/ \) )' =_ )) | | | .// _/) ( ( \_ // / \ >_,\ (/)= / | | | \ #\| / |=| |=|\ ( ( (=> ( >( >),) | | |=| \ ( ( / / / / ) |/ \ /_( /_( , || )/.,_ ). /\\_(\,/, //- / /_(_( / ,\. b'ger .- '-'-'-,)\/.')) >SMART ASS One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; It just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! MORAL Of The Story: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive. 2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen. 3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less. NOW ........... __...----.. .-' `-. / .---.._ \ | | \ \ | `. | | | | _____ ` ' | | / _.-` `. \ | .'| //'''.' \ `---'_(`.||.`.`.' _.`.'''-. \ _(`'. `.`.`'.-' \\ \ \ (' .' `-._.- / \\ \ | ('./ `-._ .-| \\ || ('.\ | | 0') ('0 __.--. \`----'/ _.--('..| `-- .' .-. `. `--..' _..--..._ _.-' ('.:| . / ` 0 ` \ .' .-' `..' | / .^. | / .' \ ' . `._ .'| `. \`...____.----._.' .'.'| . \ | |_||_||__| // \ | _.-'| |_ `. \ || | | /\ \_| _ _ | || | /. . ' `.`.| || || || / ' ' | . | `.`---'/ .' `. | .' .'`. \ .' / `...' .' \ \ .'.' `---\ '.-' | )/\ / /)/ .| \ `. `.\ \ )/ \( / \ | \ | `. `-. )/ ) | | __ \ \.-` \ | /| ) .-. //' `-| \ _ / / _| | `-'.-.\ || `. )_.--' ) \ '-. / '| ''.__.-`\ | / `-\ '._|--' \ `. \ _\ / `---. LGB /.--` \ \ .''''\ `._..._| `-.' .-. | '_.'-./.' Enough of that stuff . . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.. MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSONS: When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you. --- ...HaHa! What a tale! Thanks KarenF! -<>- .=. ____ .=. \ .-' '-. / /.'\_/\_/'.\.-p. --=|: -<_><_>- :| > \'./ \/ \.'/'-b' / '-.____.-' \ jgs '=' '=' >Maybe it's time... Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted." --- ...LOL! Thanks KarenF! -<>- ____ .-'& '-. / \ : o o ; ( (_ ) : ; \ __ / `-._____.-' /`"""`\ / , \ /|/\/\/\ _\ (_|/\/\/\\__) |_______| __)_ |_ (__ jgs (_____|_____) >Stuff About Kids There is only one pretty child in the World and every mother has it. Chinese Proverb: Cleaning your house while Your kids are still growing is like clearing Your driveway in the middle of a snowstorm. Mothers of teens are the only ones that KNOW Why animals eat their young. I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me. Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents Despite every effort to teach them good manners. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually Repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. A child's greatest period of growth is the month After you've purchased new school clothes. The main purpose of holding children's parties Is to remind yourself that there are children Out there more awful than your own. We childproofed our home 3 years Ago and they're still getting in! Grandchildren are God's reward for Not killing your children. When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. You can fool some of the people all of the time And all of the people some of the time, But you can never fool a Mom. I love to give homemade gifts... Which one of my kids do you want? Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy From a baby' has never tried it. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their Life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you Spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up! --- ...TeeHee! Thanks KarenF! -<>- >Funny distortions of the English language O o ,-. .:\ '`-. |:| __ b `;-( ,' | ( \|||_ ,-----(.-''--``-------. /_______`'______________\ / SSt\ Ucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time We regret that you will be unbearable." ____________________________________________________________ In a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between The hours of 9 and 11 A.M. Daily." _____________________________________________________________ In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian And Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily Except Thursday." _______________________________________________________________ Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs." _____________________________________________________________ In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions." ______________________________________________________________ On the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to It." ______________________________________________________________ In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served Here." --- ...Good ones! Thanks KarenF! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) >Handicapped Parking ...... I had been shopping for tools in Sears yesterday. As I walked out towards my vehicle, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available. The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, 'I'm not handicapped!' Well, as you can imagine, my face was red! 'Oh, I'm sorry" I said, "I saw your Obama sticker and just assumed ....' She gave me the finger and yelled some nasty names at me. Boy! Some people - and when you're just trying to help them out! --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- ____________________ | | | PSYCHIATRIC | | HELP | |____________________| || ,-..'``. || || (,-..'`. ) || || )-c - `)\ || ,.,._.-.,_,.,-||,.(`.-- ,`',.-,_,||.-.,.,-,._. ___||____,`,'--._______|| |`._||______`'__________|| | || __ || | || |.-' ,|- || _,_,,..-,_| || ._)) `|- ||,.,_,_.-.,_ . `._||__________________|| ____ . . . . . <.____`> .SSt . . . . . _.()`'()`' . Because you are very special............... >WHEN I AM GONE..._ One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore". No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, before we can say "I love you." So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage.....And old cars... And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a sister- in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close! Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know how you really feel? The important thing is to let every one of your friends know your true feelings, even if you think they don't love you back. So, just in case I'm gone tomorrow............ V V V V v *Please vote against that a-hole, Obama !* --- ...Oh My goodness! Thanks PatDeE! ===================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: Never bring a knife to a gun fight...even a really, really long knife. This is a lesson that was never learned by a 38-year-old Michigan man named Chris Burroughs. Police responded to a disturbance in the little Michigan town of Norton Shores where Burroughs had allegedly assaulted a woman in his home. Well, neighbors said they saw a woman running down the street and bleeding from her head, so it is fair to say there was reasonable suspicion. When police officers responded to the scene they attempted to make contact with Burroughs in the front of the home where he lives with his mother. Burroughs then ran to the back of the home and the officers went around to meet him. That is when police said Burroughs burst out of the back door Kill Bill-style, waving a four- foot-long sword over his head. The officers commanded Burroughs to put the weapon down but he allegedly refused and taunted the officers to shoot him. Which they did. One of the officers fired at the suspect, striking him at least once. Burroughs was arrested for domestic assault. *-- Python, crabs left in hotel rooms --* THAME, England - British hotel chain Travelodge UK said some of the oddest items left in its rooms include a pet python, breast implants and a bucket of live crabs. The budget chain based in Thame, England, said items in its lost-and-founds include a pet python named Monty, a winning EuroMillions lottery ticket, the prop used as Harry Potter's wand in one of the films, a diamond- encrusted iPhone, a bucket of live crabs and a set of women's breast implants, The Scotsman reported Thursday. The hotel chain said the most popular items left in their rooms include pajamas, phone and laptop chargers, teddy bears, toiletry items and electronics. The company said the 20,000 books left in its hotel rooms during the past 12 months include 7,000 copies of "Fifty Shades of Grey." *-- Police seek owner of 1938 telegram --* DALY CITY, Calif. - California police said they are trying to find the owner of a 1938 telegram found in the back seat of a mail carrier accused of stealing credit and gift cards. Daly City police said Romeo Natan, 38, was busted on charges of stealing credit and gift cards from mail he was supposed to be delivering to San Carlos homes and investigating detectives discovered a telegram from Christmas Day 1938 among the thousands of letters allegedly stolen by Natan, the San Mateo County (Calif.) Times reported Thursday. Senior Detective Joe Bocci said the telegram must have been dropped into the mail prior to the holidays. "I think someone was passing down some family history," he said. "It means something to somebody." The telegram is from a couple named Minnie and Fred and addressed to a woman named Emma Gonzales in San Francisco. The text wishes Gonzalez a happy holiday and informs her the couple arrived safe in Reno. Natan and two alleged accomplices are facing numerous felony charges. *-- Florida woman arrested after post-sex row --* PALMETTO, Fla. - A 50-year-old Florida woman was locked up this weekend after allegedly beating up her younger boy- friend due to unsatisfying sex. Jennie Scott was booked into Manatee County jail on a misdemeanor battery charge for allegedly whacking Jilberto Deleon, 32, with a stick and threatening to upgrade her weapon of choice to a pipe wrench, The Smoking Gun website reported. The arrest report indicated Scott became enraged when her paramour wrapped up his part of the tryst first and then decided to call it quits. A witness called the sheriff's department after seeing Scott on top of Deleon "punching and scratching" him. Scott refused to go quietly and police told her she would be maced if she didn't stop kicking at the patrol car window. Investigators concluded alcohol played a significant role in the fracas, The South Florida Sun Sentinel reported. *-- 2013 names predicted: Kindle, Pearl, Roy --* AUSTIN, Texas - A baby-naming website says it predicts next year popular U.S. infant names will include: Hashtag, Tweet, Android and Pearl, Florence, Nellie and Eleanor. Officials of the social baby-naming website Belly Ballot, which collects real-time data on what names parents are selecting from around the globe, said based on naming data from more than 1,000 parents on the website, along with 10,000 votes from their friends and family, the website predicts the following naming trends: -- Tech inspired names such as Kindle wiill be popular. -- To create a unique name, many parentss are choosing name combinations of two, three or more names such as Uma Thurman who named her daughter Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. -- Grandparents' and great-grandparents'' names are making a strong comeback. Drew Barrymore named her daughter Olive so expect more kids named Roy, Charles, Frank, Albert and Bertha. -- Not an entirely new trend, but more pparents are using surnames for given names such as Grant, Kennedy, Hayes, Townes, Brick, Drake, Fletcher, Sutton and Copeland. -- Using traditional names with unusual spellings such as Jaxon, Jaxen, Avah, Xakery, Josilyn and Braedyn. In under 2 minutes, the Belly Ballot website allows parents to choose their favorite names and invite friends and family to vote on them via Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) _.-'`'-._ .-' _ '-. `-.__ `\_.-' | `-``\| jgs `-.....-A # # >STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN Exam. I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? * Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack --- ...Indeed! HaHa! Thanks Johanna! -<>- .----------. / .-. .-. \ / | | | | \ \ `-' `-' _/ /\ .--. / | \ | / / / / / | `--' /\ \ /`-------' \ \ Jym Dyer Once, we used to say "Pleased to meet you", or "Nice to meet you" to new faces. Now, we say this less. Maybe we avoid such words because we feel they are dishonest. After all, how thrilled are we to meet another set of desires -- another hungry stomach. Surely, this is all that another person is. We can look at others in one of four ways: Takers, Givers, Thieves and Blessings. Takers -- those who want to take from us, and leave us the poorer. Givers -- those who give to us, thereby, enslaving us. Once we depend on them -- we must bow to them. Thieves -- those who give, expecting nothing in return. They leave us with their gift, and disappear. These "millionaire uncles" look like angels. The problem is, though, they train us to trust in them, and turn us away from trusting in the Creator. In this way, they rob us. Blessings -- those who even as they take from us, enrich us. For, as we give to them, we grow the more affluent. In giving, we dig up abundant stores we never knew existed -- untapped wealth. Moreover, we uncover the Creator, sending us His gift, His help, His blessing. Thus, through such people, we only grow greater. Into which category do the people around us fit? To a large degree, this depends on us. It depends on how we look at our world. From-Keep Smiling ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God." -- Abraham Lincoln --- ...Very Profound! Skeptical eye on Society where the givers to us do us evil and are in reality our thieves yet if we are a giver we are not considered a thief but a blessing. Illogical to wrap my mind around. Gets us thinking so it is Profound! Thanks Johanna! After all, if it is bad to give... then why does the bible tell us to do so... Acts.20 [35] I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. We are to support the weak by our giving. If it were bad for us or bad for them, then the bible would not ask us to do so. -<>- ,-. _n_ \ Clyde W. Watson (---) .___________________________________________________________ | | J >Ole's Fishing Boat Ole won a fishing boat in a raffle drawing in a small upstate Minnesota town. He brought it home and Lena looks at him and says, "Vot da heck you gonna do vit dat. Dere ain't no water deep enough ta float a boat widin 50 miles uv here." Ole says, "I vun it and I'ma gonna keep it." Sven came over to visit several days later. He sees Lena and asks where Ole is. She says, "He's out dere in his fishin boat," pointing to the field behind the house. Sven heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a fishing boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field. He yells out to him, "Vot da heck are you doing out dere?" Ole replies, "I'ma fishin'. Vot da heck duz it look like I'ma doing?" Sven yells back, "It'sa people lika you that give people from Norvay a bad name; make everybody tink we are stoopid. If I cud svim, I'd come out dere and kick yor butt." Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Johanna! -<>- .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| | | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| | |/ ! | | (/ | | ! | . | | ! | | | | ! |~~~~' >Wife's Diary - Husbands Diary Wife's Diary Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -- I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. Husband's Diary: Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out. --- ...LOL! Priorities! Thanks Johanna! ======================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _ .-. / ) .-. ___ __ ( ) ( ( ( ) .'___) (__'-._) ( \ '._) (,'.' '. '-. '. / "\ ' -. '. ) / \ \ .-. ,'. ) ( ',_) _ .' ( \ \ ( \ . .' .' ) .-. ( \ ( .''. '. \ \| .' .' ,',--, / ( ) ) ) \ \ ', : \ .-' ( ( ( ( _) (,' / \ \ : : ) / _ ' . \ \ ,' / ,' ,' : ; / /,' '. /.' / / ( (\ ( '.' " ( .-'. \ '' \_)\ \ \ | \ \__ ) ) ___\ | \___; / , / / ___) ( ( ( PN '.' ) ;) ; (_/(_/ ----------------------------------------------------- The New Year's Eve party had turned into a marathon with numerous guests coming and going. At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily though no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement. He sat there happily for about an hour before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway. My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved." -<>- My friend called a Venetian-blind repairman to come pick up a faulty blind. The next morning, while the family was at breakfast, the doorbell rang. My friend's wife went to the door, and the man outside said, "I'm here for the Venetian blind." Excusing herself in a preoccupied way, the wife went to the kitchen, fished a couple dollars from the food money, pressed it into the repairman's hand, then gently closed the door and returned to the table. "Somebody collecting," she explained, pouring the coffee. -<>- ,--. \ _\_ _\/_|_\____.'\ -(___.--._____( \ \ \ \ `--' jg After setting off the alarms at airport security, I was escorted behind a curtain. As two female officials "wanded" me, the senior officer gave instructions to the trainee on proper technique: first down the front of my body, then up the back of me, and - much to my embarrassment - up between my legs. After she was done, her boss congratulated her. "Great job," she said. "Now do it again, but this time, try turning on the wand." -<>- We were eating at one of the trendier restaurants in town when my friend pointed to the menu and told the waitress, "I'll have the 24." "Uh, Jim," I whispered, "that's the price, not the meal number." "Oh," he said. "In that case give me the 12." -<>- ______ _\ _~-\___ = = ==(____AA____D \_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._ / o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_ `~-.__ ___..----.. ) `---~~\___________/------------````` = ===(_________D -Roland I returned home from my ninth business trip of the year with a severe bout of jet laginduced foot-in-mouth disease. As we prepared to go to sleep that night, I wrapped my arms around my better half, gave her a kiss, and announced, "It's good to be in my own bed, with my own wife!" -<>- A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the race- track. The broker suggested betting $12,000 on a certain horse. The analyst was skeptical; he had never been to the races before and wanted to understand the rules and look over all the horses before placing a wager. "You're too cautious and detail-oriented," the broker criticized as he placed his large bet. His horse won and he raked in a bundle of money. "What's your secret?" the analyst asked. "It's simple," the broker explained. "I have two kids... ages two and six...so I add their ages together and bet on number nine." "But two and six is eight, not nine!" protested the analyst. "See!" the broker replied, "I told you you're too cautious and detail-oriented." ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: . | . \ | / `. \ ' / .' `. .-*""*-. .' "*-._ /.*" "*.\ _.-*" : ; ____ """"': .. ; _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._ .' `-.__.-' `. bug .' / . \ `. / | \ ' | ` >The Positive Side of Life Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? If Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet? Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. -<>- ' . ' . . . : . . '. ______ .' ' _.-"` `"-._ ' .' '. `'--. / \ .--'` / \ ; ; - -- | | -- - | _. | ; /__`A ,_ ; .-' \ |= |;._.}{__ / '-. _.-""-|.' # '. ` `.-"{}<._ / 1938 \ \ x `" ----/ \_.-'|--X---- -=_ | | |- X. =_ - __ |_________|_.-'|_X-X## jgs `'-._|_|;:;_.-'` '::. `"- .:;. .:. ::. '::. >You Might Be a Farmer If... * Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. * You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation. * You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house. * You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket. * You have used baling wire to attach a license plate. * You have used a chain saw to remodel your house. * You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday. * You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment. * You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper. * You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor's crops. -<>- ( * ) * ) * ( ) ( ( ( ) ( ) ) * ) ) ( ( ( ( * ) H ) ) [ ] ( ( * |-| * ) ( * ) |_| . ) ( | | . ) / \ . ' . * ( |_____| ' . . ) | ___ | \~~~/ ' . ( * | \ / | \_/ \~~~/ ) | _Y_ | | \_/ ( * jgs |-----| __|__ | * `-----` __|__ __, ,__) __, ,__) __, ,__) (--|__| _ ,_ ,_ (--|\ | _ (--\ | _ _ ,_ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| \|(/_(_|_) \|(/_(_|| ( | | ,_| ( (__| >New Years Resolutions You Can Keep Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point: Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. Stop exercising. Waste of time. Read less. Makes you think. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. Spend more time at work. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. Get in a whole NEW rut! Personal goal: Bring back disco. Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. Get further in debt. Break at least one traffic law. Associate with even worse business clients. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them. Wait around for opportunity. Focus on the faults of others. Mope about my faults. Never make New Year's resolutions again. -<>- ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ >SIGNS YOU'RE GETTING OLDER * You got cable for the Weather Channel * If a young girl looks at you, you check to make sure you remembered to put on your pants. * When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out... and you can't get it back around. * Most women you know under 40 put you in the "Friend of my Father" class. * Restaurants stop asking to see your senior discount card. * You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. * You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. * You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to some- one's lawn. * Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service. * Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. =========================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) My Catty Life! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catlife.html Life's Little Oops 10! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops10.html Super Puppies http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/puppy.html Humor In Religion 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion3.html God's Paintings 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gpaints2.html Fun With Snow In Russia! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/russia.html City Silhouettes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/citys.html Crayola Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/crayolaart.html Awww Animals 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals5.html Friends http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friends.html Maxine On Jesus http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonjesus.html Peek-A-Boo Panda http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/panda.html Play With Harley http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/harley.html We've All Been There! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catbox.html ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names." -Conan O'Brien "A new study found that bacon and freshly baked bread are Americans' favorite smells. Yeah, this morning instead of putting on cologne, I just rubbed my neck with a B.L.T." -Jimmy Fallon "A woman in California is being studied because she says she remembers everything from the last 12 years. And I'm thinking, 'Wait a minute isn't that every woman?'" -Dave Letterman "I've got to admit, I love the show "Doomsday Preppers." It's about people making bunkers to survive catastrophes they know will happen. A nuclear war, viral epidemic, Fox canceling 'Glee.' It's all going to happen." -Craig Ferguson "Ireland is coming out with its own version of the show 'Cheers.' Yeah, a sitcom about people who sit around drinking at a bar all day - or as they call that in Ireland, 'Reality TV.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A new study shows that California has the dirtiest tap water in the country. California officials insist that the dirty water is fine as long as you chew it thoroughly." -Conan O'Brien "A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems. Or as those people put it, 'I was afraid of that.'" -Jimmy Fallon "They used to say a recession is when your neighbor lost his job, and a depression is when you lost yours, but now they say a recession is when Wall Street gets bailed out, and a depression is what you get thinking about it." -Jay Leno "In China, an animal trainer taught his monkeys Kung fu, and then they attacked him using his best kung fu moves. Luckily, they were no match for the parrot he'd taught to fire a gun." -Conan O'Brien "Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money." - Arthur Miller "I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence." - Garry Trudeau "No one can earn a million dollars honestly." - William Jennings Bryan "Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done." - Fred Allen "If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************