Stun Gun And More... :) Shangy >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ .-' '-. / \ |,-,-,-,-,| ___ | _)_(_ | (/ \) | _\_/_ /) / \_/ \// |( )\/ ||)_( |/ \ n| | / \ | |_|___| \|/ jgs _/L\_ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) ,%%%%%%%, ,%%/\%%%%/\%, ,%%%\c "" J/%%, %. %%%%/ d b \%%% `%%. __ %%%% _ |%%% `%% .-' `"~--"`%%%%(=_Y_=)%%' // .' `. `%%%%`\7/%%%'____ (( / ; `%%%%%%%'____))) `.`--' ,' _,`-._____`-, jgs `"""`._____ `--,` `))) `~"-))) In like a LION out like a lamb Or _,._ __.' _) <_,)'.-"a\ /' ( \ _.-----..,-' (`"--^ // | (| `; , | \ ;.----/ ,/ ) // / | |\ \ jgs \ \\`\ | |/ / \ \\ \ | |\/ `" `" `"` In like a LAMB and out like a lion? How will your March be? ,%%%%%%%%, %%/\%%%%/\%% _,._ %%%\C "" J/%%%, __.' _) %%%/ o o \%%%% .% <_,)'.-"a\ %%%| _ %%%% .%%` /' ( \'%%(__Y__)%%%%' %%` _.-----..,-' (`"--^ '%%%\-/`%%%%; \\ // | '%%%%%%%' \ )) (| `; , | | '. // \ ;.----/ ,/ | | / \ // ) // / | |\ \ | | ( \// jgs \ \\`\ | |/ / __| | _\ / \ \\ \ | |\/ (((((((___________) `" `" `"` Well, here in my town in Ohio, March came in like a lamb, but in my brother's home in Texas with winds 60+ mph, March came in like a lion! We'll see if the saying holds true when March leaves us! -<>- >Hot off the 'Shangy' Press: We have a super sweet animal story that comes to us from our friend John-Paul. I could not resist making this one up. Check it out here... ,;;:;, ;;;;; ,:;;:; ,'=. ;:;:;' .=" ,'_\ ':;:;,/ ,__:=@ ';;:; =./)_ jgs `"=\_ )_"` ``'"` Baby Squirrel Finnegan http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/finnegan.html --- ...Ahhh, warms the heart! Thank You John-Paul! Sandi sent us some more great photos of Johan's Noah's Ark so I added these and updated the page here... _ ________ _( )_ | .##@@&&&@@# ( ` )_ \ _ / ,##@&::%&&%%:.( ) ( `) -= (_) =- #@&:%%000000 (__ (_ . _) _) / \ #@&:%00' / / / / / / | #@&:%0' / / / / / / Diana H. Chaytor #@&:%0 dchaytor@jach.hawaii.edu #@&:%0 ~NO RAIN, NO RAINBOWS~ http://www.islandnet.com/~chaytor jgs#@&:%0============================================================= Johan's Noah's Ark http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noahsark.html --- ...Awesome! Thank you for this update Sandi! This next one is from a forward from our our friend Denise. Absolutely intriguing and shows why man shouldn't be messing so much with nature! Check it out here... (_)L|J ) (") | ( ,(. A `/ \-| (,`) )' (' \/\ / | ) (. jgs (' ),). _W_ | (,)' ) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Darvaza - Door To Hell http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/darvaza.html --- ...Very amazing! Thank You Denise!! -<>- == == <^\()/^> <^\()/^> \/ \/ \/ \/ /__\ . ' . /__\ == /\ . | . /\ == <^\()/^> !_\/ ' | ' \/_! <^\()/^> \/ \/ !_/I_|| . ' \'/ ' . ||_I\_! \/ \/ /__\ /I_/| || -== + ==- || |\_I\ /__\ /_ \ !//| | || ' . /.\ . ' || | |\\! /_ \ (- ) /I/ | | || . | . || | | \I\ (= ) \__/!//| | | || ' | ' || | | |\\!\__/ / \I/ | | | || ' . ' * || | | | \I/ \ {_ __} | | | || || | | | {____} _!__|= || | | | || * + || | | | || |__!_ _I__| ||__|__|__|_|| A ||_|__|__|__||- |__I_ -|--|- ||--|--|--|-|| __/_\__ * ||-|--|--|--||= |--|- | | || | | | || /\-'o'-/\ || | | | || | | | |= || | | | || _||:<_>:||_ || | | | ||= | | | |- || | | | || * /\_/=====\_/\ * || | | | ||= | | | |- || | | | || __|:_:_[I]_:_:|__ || | | | ||- | | _|__| ||__|__|__|_||:::::::::::::::::::::||_|__|__|__|| |__|_ -|--|= ||--|--|--|-||:::::::::::::::::::::||-|--|--|--||- |--|- jgs|- || | | | ||:::::::::::::::::::::|| | | | ||= | | ~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^~~~~~~~~~ *~* We Had A Tremendous Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month! >Please Be Sure To Check all of these out and pass them on: Cat Posters! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catposters.html Rules For US! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rules.html Amazing Bike Car! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bikecar.html Pictures To Ponder! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ponder.html Extreme Homes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/exhomes.html Rollin On The River! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/river.html Crop Circles 2009! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mystery2.html Mule Vs Lion! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mulelion.html Adam In Paradise! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/adam.html I Believe... http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/believe.html Leopard Vs Croc! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/leopard.html Darvaza - Door To Hell! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/darvaza.html *~* GOD'S BLESSINGS TO ALL OUR SWEET CONTRIBUTORS! THANK YOU! -<>- , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' >-->AWESOME NEWS From Our Friends At TruthOrTadition.com: Greetings and God bless you! Thanks to the support of our partners & contributors, we are making all of our audio seminars available online for free. This will significantly help us to sow the Gospel into China, Iran, Russia and many other third-world countries that visit our web site each day! We have just made our 48 session, 26 hour audio seminar on A Journey Through the Old Testament available online for free at http://www.truthortradition.com/audio (just scroll down a little bit) We trust it is a blessing to you! If you like what we are doing and you would like to help us continue to sow the Gospel all over the globe, please consider sowing into our ministry at http://www.STFonline.org/donate (PayPal accepted) God bless you! The Staff of Spirit & Truth Fellowship International STFonline.org This message was sent by: Spirit &Truth Fellowship International, 180 Robert Curry Drive, Martinsville, Indiana 46151 ============================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Pete's New Apartment \_/ .:' .:' .:' -=(_)=- /\|| /\|| /\|| Pete and Larry had not / \ //\\| //\\| //\\| seen each other in many // \\ // \\ // \\ years. Now they were // \^/ \^/ \\ having a long talk, |[] []|[] []|[] []| trying to fill in the | | | | gap of those years by |[] []|[] []|[] []| telling about their | | | | lives. Finally Pete |[] []|[] []|[] []| invited Larry to visit &| || | || | || |% him in his new apartment. "jgs"&%&--==--&%-==--%&"""""%&%"""" "I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you drop by and visit us." "Great. Where do you live?" "Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in." "Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?" "Surely, you're not coming empty-handed?" ===================================================================== +--------------- Bizarre March Holidays ----------------+ March 1 is National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day March 2 is Old Stuff Day March 3 is I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day and National Anthem Day March 4 is Holy Experiment Day March 5 is Multiple Personalities Day March 6 is National Frozen Food Day March 7 is National Crown Roast Of Pork Day March 8 is Be Nasty Day March 9 is Panic Day March 10 is Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day ==================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Del :) /\ || || || || || _______|| /` `\ | .-"""-. | | / .:::. \ | | \ ':::' / | | '-----' | | .-"""""-. | | |_______| | | [_][_][_] | | [_] [] [] | | [1][2][3] | | [4][5][6] | | [7][8][9] | | [*][0][#] | | ... | jgs\ ':::' / `"""""""""` >5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.) There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: FIRST Emergency The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find Yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile wi ll search any existing network to Establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out. SECOND Have you locked your keys in the car? [Sorry about your luck! Call the Sheriff's Dept] Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot From your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other ' remote ' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk). THIRD Hidden Battery Power [...Watch out for this one!] Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time. FOURTH How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone? To check your Mobile phone ' s serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones. And Finally..... FIFTH Free Directory Service for Cells Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:(800)FREE411, or (800) 373-3411without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now. This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends. --- ...OK - Thanks Del! This one has been around a while. Some of these are true and some are a mix of true and false and others are just not true and entirely different! Check out all the truth of this here: Cell phones.... A mixture of true and false: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/household/cellphones.asp ============================================================== >-->A safety Tip from our friend Viv :) ________________ |.-----------. | || _____ |ooo| |8 | | |ooo| || | | 7| = | |8 '-----' | _ | jgs ||___________|[_]| '----------------' >Microwaving Water! Snopes take on this one http://www.snopes.com/science/microwave.asp Safety tip…….please read………. A 26-year old man decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the! water was not boiling, but suddenly the water in the cup 'blew up' into his face. The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand, but all the water had flown out into his face due to the buildup of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is a fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc.., (nothing metal). General Electric's Response: Thanks for contacting us, I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or tea bag is put into it. To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup. After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds! before moving it or adding anything into it. Here is what our local science teacher had to say on the matter: 'Thanks for the microwave warning. I have seen this happen before. It is caused by a phenomenon known as super heating. It can occur anytime water is heated and will particularly occur if the vessel that the water is heated in is new, or when heating a small amount of water (less than half a cup). What happens is that the water heats faster than the vapor bubbles can form. If the cup is very new then it is unlikely to have small surface scratches inside it that provide a place for the bubbles to form. As the bubbles cannot form and release some of the heat has built up, the liquid does not boil, and the liquid continues to heat up well past its boiling point. What then usually happens is that the liquid is bumped or jarred, which is just enough of a shock to cause the bubbles to rapidly form and expel the hot liquid. The rapid formation of bubbles is also why a carbonated beverage spews when opened after having been shaken.' If you pass this on you could very well save someone from a lot of pain and suffering --- ...Thank You Viv! ================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News :) [POLITICS] >From Patriot Update Headlines PARODY VIDEO: Nancy Pelosi's "Sweatin' To The Socialists" Exercise Video http://tinyurl.com/yefau8f -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Couple sued over 'ugly' kitchen ------------- NEW YORK - A New York realty group is suing the owners of a floor at the Gramercy Park Hotel for installing an "ugly" Ikea kitchen at the property. The Paramount Realty Group said retail mogul Jon Asgeir Johannesson and his wife, designer Ingibjorg Palmadottir, agreed to rent out the 16th floor of the Gramercy Park Hotel for $312,000 last year, but the "ugly" kitchen has been an embarrass- ment for the renting tenant, the New York Daily News reported Thursday. "Defendants willfully installed what (Jon Asgeir Johannesson) defined as an 'ugly' kitchen," the suit states. "The kitchen installed is manufactured by Ikea, which is generally known to offer low-budget furniture." "The kitchen has also been a source of embarrassment for Plaintiff and the subject of remarks by guests," Paramount said in the suit. The lawsuit is seeking $52,000 in damages. -- Police: Drunk man drove off with gas hose ------- SOUTH BEND, Ind. - Indiana police said they arrested an alleged drunk driver who drove away from a gas station with the nozzle and hose still attached to his vehicle. St. Joseph County police said they received calls Monday night about a truck on westbound U.S. 20/U.S. 31 with a gas station hose dangling from the side and striking pass- ing vehicles, the South Bend (Ind.) Tribune reported. Officers said the driver, a 46-year-old South Bend man, smelled of alcohol when he was pulled over on Indiana 2 and failed several field sobriety tests before being booked into the St. Joseph County Jail. Police said his blood alcohol content was measured at 0.13 at the jail, well over the 0.08 legal limit for driving. The man told police he had recently purchased gas from a Speedway station. The hose and nozzle were returned to the business. >In The 1/18/2008 Archives of CoffeeBreak: Man sues after rectal exam arrest A New York man who was arrested after loudly protesting a rectal exam is suing the hospital for malpractice. Brian Persaud visited New York-Presbyterian Hospital Weill Cornell in May 2003 after he was struck in the head by a plank while working at a construction site, the New York Daily News reported Wednesday. Hospital records say Persaud was "alert and oriented times three" when he arrived at the hospital and was informed that he would need a rectal exam. Persaud objected loudly to undergoing the procedure and smacked a doctor during the struggle, leading to his sedation and arrest. The rectal exam was performed while Persaud was sedated. The charges against the construction worker were later dropped and he filed a malpractice suit against the hospital for forcing the procedure on him. "This poor guy goes in for eight stitches and he ends up in jail," said his lawyer, Gerard Marrone. "He had the right to say no." Celebrity chef livid over regular egg use British celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has vowed "heads will roll" after one of his restaurants used regular eggs instead of free-range eggs. The timing of the revelation was embarrassing, as it came days after a critical documentary he did about the commercial egg industry, "Jamie's Fowl Dinners," aired on national television, The Mirror reported. Oliver is trustee of the 15 Foundation charity and founder of all four Fifteen restaurants that employ trainee chefs from disadvantaged backgrounds. Adding further to Oliver's embarrassment, it was a chicken farmer eating at the Fifteen Cornwall restaurant who recognized the so-called battery chicken eggs in the kitchen and photographed them with his cell phone, the report said. "I am speechless. We have cast iron rules on what any chef can and cannot buy in all Fifteens," Oliver told the Mirror. "I've never been so disappointed. Heads will roll." Artist dumps 500,000 balls in Rome ROME, Jan. 16 (UPI) -- An Italian activist and artist faces charges after dumping 500,000 small red plastic balls down Rome's Spanish Steps. Graziano Cecchini and volunteer helpers tipped over barrels releasing the balls early Wednesday, angering city officials, the ANSA news agency reported. Cecchini said the stunt was an artistic protest of lies he claims the government tells. ANSA said the Italian word for ball is "palle," which can also mean lies. Police cordoned off the area and called in city sanitation workers to scoop up the balls with nets, the report said. A police spokesman said Cecchini would likely be fined for creating a mess in a public place, and fined the amount it cost to clean up. City hall official Jean Leonard Touadi was angry as he surveyed the cleanup. "This behavior is not acceptable," he said. "Trying to get publicity at the expense of the city's image is not funny." ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) ,-=-. / ) ( c/=( `-( _/ _/ (_ / `-- ) < , ) )> / \/ \ (/\ / ,' ) \ \ -=` / / | \ \-` / | '\| <_./ \ / | / , \ <,_./ | / | /_ | | ``--.__.-='! | / \ ! '`'"' ("" '`'`"' `) \_'"'`"" "``''"''`" "'"`''' (_ \_ '"`=-'`" `" " '"" `-'`" '"'`' '`'"' '""`'" >BUT FIRST Syndrome The scientific world is frantically searching for a cure. There is an ailment many of us suffer from and many have not, as yet, been diagnosed. However, now you may be able to discuss it with your loved ones and try to explain what really happened to you all those times you tried so hard to accomplish something and didn't. It's called the "But first...Syndrome." It's like when I decide to do the laundry. I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. Okay, I'm going to do the laundry - But first I'm going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. Okay, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack, But first I'll look through that pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Now where's the checkbook? Oops! There's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I'm going to look for that checkbook, But first I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I put the glass in the sink, and goodness gracious, there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What's it doing here? I'll just put it away, But first I need to water those plants. Head for door and Ack! I stepped on the dog. The dog needs to be fed. Okay, I'll put that remote away and water the plants. But first I need to feed the dog. At the end of day: Laundry is not done, Newspapers are still on the floor, Glass is still in the sink, Bills are unpaid, Checkbook is still missing, The dog ate the remote control. AND, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, I'm baffled, because I KNOW I was BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious....and I should get help, But first I think I'll read all my e-mail. -Author Unknown --- ...TeeHee! Thank You Wesley! When I got a lot to do I sing - 'One Step At A Time Sweet Jesus, One Step at a time" - Makes me take 'first things first' so I don't go tripping over my self by getting my priorities out of whack! -<>- `>.___ o-.--.-o ___,<' / `. / ,, \ .' \ { `.; ,__, ;.' } `._ }`.__.'{ _.' `,=."' `".=,' .' /`-.____.-'_ `, \_.';`-.______.-':`._/ `+-.______.-'' `-.____.-' / || \ ; ;; ; `-./ \.-' fsc Does Pure Honey Ever Go Bad? http://tinyurl.com/y854hdt -<>- , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' Pray for our nation http://tinyurl.com/ye3p46h --- ...Great one! Thanks Wesley! -<>- .========. .========. // I .'..' \ // VI.'.,".\ || II .'..'| || VII..'..| || III .'."| || VIII,'.'| || IV ,','.| || IX.'".'.| || V '..'.'| || X .'..',| jgs .\_________/ .\_________/ >Snopes snookered by 10 Commandments Hoax! The California pastor whose research revealed a strategy by the U.S. Supreme Court to eliminate references to the Ten Commandments in its own artwork now is asking Internet watchdogs Snopes.com and TruthOrFiction.com to fix their mistakes on the issue. Todd DuBord's work was profiled by WND in an article about the Supreme Court and a second story about the Monticello and Jamestown historic sites. There also was a followup showing how one state Supreme Court was following suit, and in a photograph of its team of justices, blurred part of the photograph because it would have shown the Ten Commandments on the wall behind them. DuBord, whose work resulted in his formal requests to those national treasures that they correct the information being distributed, now is asking the two accuracy-focused websites to correct similar mistakes in their materials. Read The Rest Here: http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53079 --- ...Great story! Thank You Wesley! ALSO Thanks to our friend Wesley I found this .... W_W_-__/ Uv. ) ||-|\ || | | This is a sweet news story... http://www.adn.com/2009/05/28/811807/rescued-baby-moose-gets-break.html Be sure to check this out too on the above page to the right... \`-'.'. /`. |\ \ `-' \ / '-./\ .'\ `-. '. `-.)\.' / `._ ''-. `:. _.' `-._...__.::::.__.--' _.-..'''''. _.---.__`._. `-. ___..-' `o> `-. .-``` <) ) .' `._.-.`-._.' / / `-' | ' / | . ' .' \ \ \ .'| ' / -..__.| / | | /| | \ '\ / \ | \ | | | | | \ / . | | / \ | | | \ \ | | | | | \ | `. | | | | | \ / `' | /_ `. /' \ `---/_ `. `.\.' `.\.' LGB `.\.' The related links - 'Photos: Moose in Alaska' under the boy and moose picture have some awesome moose pictures!- they do get pretty big! ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) _ |_t+.__________________......_ /;_ ;________________/ : \ t""o.\__ :---|------------------t-----^-`--' / \__L___________________\____________\ ""-. o .--. \--'/ l .-t+. \ ( l) ;"" : / _ _ _ l `--" o; Y |_||_ |_|| \ """""";: .-. :\ | |:_ | |:_/ :: '-' ;\ _ _ _ _ _ _ ;; : ; | ||_l | \|_ |_|| \ :: bug ;| :_l|`, :_/:_ | |:_/ ;'-------'; '"------"" >FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE 1. Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. ~Thomas Jefferson 2. Those who trade liberty for security have neither. ~John Adams 3. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms. ______________ _ / ) \______ (_/ \ \_ ) __ / (___\ \ (____/ \ (___/ \ s-v ( ____/ 4. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject. 5. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them. 6. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control. 7. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for. 8. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety. ^ | | @#####@ (### ###)-. .(### ###) \ / (### ###) ) (=- .@#####@|_--" /\ \_|l|_/ (\ (=-\ |l| / \ \.___|l|___/ /\ |_| / (=-\._________/\ \ / \._________/ # ---- # # __ # \########/ 9. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive. 10. Assault is a behavior, not a device. 11. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday. 12. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved. 13. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others. !!! (Important) 14. What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you NOT understand? _ __)\____________________________________/7_ (// ))))) `\|| / ((((( )` (______________________________________________/ \ ________ ______________________________/ ) /#######/ )\ / )/ / /##(\)##/ / \( // / /#######( (\______.ad` / /#########) )------`` / /#########/ / / /###(/)###/ / ( (#########/ ( \____/_______\) 15. Guns have only two enemies; rust and politicians. 16. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves. 17. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control. IF YOU AGREE, PASS THIS 'REFRESHER' ON ! --- ...You Betcha! Thank You Johanna! ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) _ _ (.)_(.) _ ( _ ) _ / \/`-----'\/ \ __\ ( ( ) ) /__ ) /\ \._./ /\ ( jgs )_/ /|\ /|\ \_( >The Frog and the Golfer A man is golfing. He's on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,"Ribbit. 9 Iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron." He looks at the frog, decides to prove it wrong, puts the club away and grabs a 9 iron. BOOM! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He's shocked and says to the frog,"Wow! That's amazing. You must be some lucky frog, eh?" / \ _(I)(I)_ ( _ .. _ ) `.`--'.' ) ( ,-./ \,-. ( _( || || )_ ) __\ \\||--||'/ /__ hjw `-._//||\/||\\_.-' `--'`--' The frog replies, "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think, frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and --BOOM-- a hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, he's golfed the best game of his life and asks the frog, "OK. Where to next?" The frog replies,"Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy asks, "OK, frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot, but--after the golf game--he figures, what the heck! BOOM! Tons of cash come sliding across the table. The man takes his winnings and gets the best room in the casino. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I'm forever grateful." ,-.___.-. ,-.(|) (|),-. \_*._ ' '_.* _/ /`-.`--' .-'\ ,--./ `---' \,--. \ |( ) ( )| / hjw \ | || || | / `97 \ | /|\ /|\ | / / \-._ _,-/ \ //| \\ `---' // |\\ /,-.,-.\ /,-.,-.\ o o o o o o The frog replies, "Ribbit. Kiss Me." He figures why not. After all the frog has done for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous girl. "And that's how the girl ended up in my room, Elin. So help me ... or my name isn't Tiger Woods." --- ...Oh My! Thanks Sandi! It'll take more then stories to get this frog outta hot water! -<>- >THIS IS JUST GREAT!!! An elderly couple walked into the lobby of the Mayo Clinic for a checkup and spotted a piano. They've been married for 62 years and he'll be 90 this year. Check out this impromptu performance... It's all attitude. Enjoy!! Click on link below ____ | | \ | | \________ _|_|____________) /| / | __________) ||__ /____|,' ________| |/_/| _|_______,' )( | | :|)( ejm )( )( Impromptu Piano Duet http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=TZwdtwi5ngI --- ...Awww, Such a sweet one in comparison! Thanks Sandi! ====================================================================== >-->From The Jokester: \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz >How Many? The Korean War, in which the Marine Corps fought and won some of its most brutal battles, was not without its gallows humor. During one such conflict a ROK (Republic of Korea) commander, whose unit was fighting along with the Marines, called to report a major Chinese attack in his sector. "How many Chinese are attacking you?" he was asked by the command Colonel. "Many, many Chinese!" replied the excited Korean officer. When asked for another, more specific, count, the colonel got the same, vague answer, "Many, many Chinese!" "X*##$%^!," screamed the colonel, "put my Marine liaison officer on the radio!" A moment later, an American voice came over the air "Yes sir?" "Lieutenant, exactly how many Chinese you got up there?" "Colonel, we got a whole S...load of Chinese up here!" "Thank God," exclaimed the colonel, "At least there's one person up there who knows how to count!" -<>- _ __|_\_ =u__.-.__) /_/ _h___ I __[_]___\_[]=_ __ \, / _[__]=== jgs^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^^''''"" (______) __ _[__]=== (______) >Armed Forces Quotes Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt. "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot) "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." "Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe." "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash." "Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club." "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies." "Never trade luck for skill." The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh S...!" "Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers." "Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant." "Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight." "A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication." "I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous." "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!" "Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries." "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it." "When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten." "Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day." Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible." "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) "A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum." - Jon McBride, astronaut "If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible." - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot) "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you." "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970 "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." -<>- | --====|====-- | .-"""""-. .'_________'. /_/_|__|__|_\_\ ;'-._ _.-'; ,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------, ``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""`` jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"` \\_// '._ _.' \\_// `"` ``---`` `"` >Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there." "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal." As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" ============================================================== >-->From The MouthPiece: ____ || | ||___| _)__<__ _ _ |____|__|:|___|:|_ | |_.---._|___| _ | o| | | |_o_| | || |/| |\| | |_||____|`\___/'|___| V _/-\_ fsc >If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the whiteout. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk. 1. " ...... AMEN!" =============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _ _.--.____.--._ ( )=.-":;:;:;;':;:;:;"-._ \\\:;:;:;:;:;;:;::;:;:;:\ \\\:;:;:;:;:;;:;:;:;:;:;\ \\\:;::;:;:;:;:;::;:;:;:\ \\\:;:;:;:;:;;:;::;:;:;:\ \\\:;::;:;:;:;:;::;:;:;:\ \\\;;:;:_:--:_:_:--:_;:;\ \\\_.-" "-._\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ "After nearly two decades in England, I moved back to the United States with my English wife and four children. Coming back to your native land after an absence of many years is surprisingly unsettling. For months I had conversations with the clerk at our local True-Value that went something like this: "Hi. I need some of that goopy stuff you fill nail holes in walls with. My wife calls it Pollyfilla." "Oh. You mean Spackle." "Very possibly. And I need some of those little plastic things you use to hold screws in the wall. I know them as rawl plugs." "We call them anchors." I could hardly have felt more foreign if I had stood there dressed in lederhosen. --Bill Bryson from "I'm a Stranger Here Myself." -<>- A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home. -<>- A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses the day after the ad came out. All from the same person. -<>- Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?" The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably a life sentence." -<>- Because of the reaction people have when they wake up and realize it's a workday again and the weekend is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday. Many people too busy to cook on the second day of the week just open a can of beans. Hence the day is known as Tootsday. By the third day of the week, people are wondering when they can ever find the time to get everything done this week that they need to, hence the day is known as Whensday. Too bleary to even count properly, people think it's only Day Three of the week on the next day, therefore it's er- roneously called Thirdsday. On the last day of the workweek, people often go out "for a few" after work. By the time they get home, they're too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw a piece of meat, chicken, or fish in the skillet. That's why the day is known as Fryday. Saturday night all the singles let loose. There's a lot of sexual hijinks. It's pretty obvious why the day is called Satyrday. And on the last day of the week--and the weekend--people look at all the items on their to-do lists that didn't get crossed off, groan aloud, and make themselves promises they won't keep. Therefore the day is called Soonday. -<>- Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde says, "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?" -<>- Discovering that I'd overslept, I abandoned my usual morning routine and rushed out. In the van, though, I realized I had time to stop for a take-out coffee. I got my coffee and returned to the van, only to find I had not only left it running but had locked it! The day was going from bad to worse. I returned to the shop, sheepishly explained my situation to the clerk and asked if I could borrow a broom. I managed to open a side window and pop the lock on the back door using the broom handle. When I returned the broom, the clerk said, "I know you're having a bad day, but..." "I know, I know," I interrupted. "You want to know how I can unlock my van with a broom." "No," she said. "I wanted to tell you that your shirt is on inside out." -<>- My broker called me this morning and said, "Remember that stock we bought and I said you'd be able to retire at age 65?" "Yes, I remember," I said. "Well," my broker continued, "your retirement age is now 108." ============================================================== `-.\ __.._\|--. .'_o `=\.' |F-' o ) \ `;=/" ,; _| ." `-. .' `-._,/.`._ ) / 7`. `-..-' _/ ;-' . `-._ .' \ `-. ;-. `"-. / `-._ )|-.`--..___) ; .7`\ | : __ | .': ;' | .'_.`, ;`. | ; :/ |.:-' / ; `-.; | |`", `/ .-' ; /`; : \7.-' : ; `./ \ | ; ; : ; ; : | / fsc :/ ` >-->Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Applebee's 10. Waitress asks, "Would you like to hear about our selection of half-finished meals?" 9. "Lo-cal Salad" consists of shredded straws and napkins 8. Walls are covered in whimsically framed health code violations 7. It's a dollar extra if you want your milk shake boneless 6. Coffee isn't bottomless, but the busboy is 5. Take-out delivery involves your address and a giant slingshot 4. All you hear from the kitchen is, "Here kitty, kitty, kitty" 3. Only dessert option is a packet of Sweet 'N Low 2. The chef just washed his hands...in your french onion soup 1. Waiter asks you to touch his riblets [From the Late Show with David Letterman] =================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: _ / } /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb Blonde's Year in Review January - Took new scarf back to store because it was way too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!! March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours... I didn't know what to do when the power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid but the wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing but I couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. I found out later that the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open. September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it??? October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!! What a year!! -<>- CHINESE PROVERBS Man, who run in front of car get tired. Man, who run behind car get exhausted. Man, with one chopstick go hungry. Man, who eat many prunes get good run for money. War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. -<>- .-==============-. .-==============-. (|+ EVEREADY -| (|+ DURACELL -| jgs '-===============' '-==============-' >STUN GUN (Only a guy would do this!) Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Betty what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Was I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; A three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-GUN... that hurt like heck! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I’m still looking for various body parts… =================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) >Pleae Visit These To Help Get Shangrala New Traffic: Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friend http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=40654&s=n Dog Eat Cat http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=39820&s=n The Super Dumb Ads Collection http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=40660&s=n Tetris Game http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=41562&s=n M&M Empire http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=38557&s=n -<>- >From LynnLynn Links: x352 http://www.buffaloschips.com/72212.htm Yeah Right http://www.buffaloschips.com/72213.htm Your Side Of The family http://www.buffaloschips.com/72214.htm Lake Delton Break To WI River http://www.buffaloschips.com/72215.htm Baby Panda Sneeze http://www.buffaloschips.com/72216.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ======================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Mattel is releasing a new "Teacher" Barbie next week. Apparently, it's just like Malibu Barbie--only she can't afford the Corvette." -Stephanie Miller "The baby is great. My wife and I have just started potty training. Which I think is important, because when we want to potty-train the baby we should set a good example." --Howie Mandel "General Motors is producing a driver-less car. Here's my fear: I'll buy one of those driver-less cars, and I'll be home on a Saturday night, and the car will be out driving with- out me!" -David Letterman "This week, scientists have discovered a celestial body that is 18 billion times more massive than the sun. It was im- mediately hired to co-host The View." -Craig Ferguson "A new company has developed a Lazy Boy-style recliner. It can handle up to 600 pounds. It tilts up to help over- weight people. Didn't that used to be called a forklift?" - Jay Leno My grandmother is over 80 and she still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman If you live to the age of a hundred, you’ve got it made, because very few people die past the age of a hundred. — George Burns >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Pass this on as it should be of interest to all who served. The study was carried out in Austrialia on their Vietnam Veterans. ABC Nat. Radio Health Report Autralian Vietnam Vets: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/HealthReportVV.mp3 VV ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************