Surfer Grandma and More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Our friend Kim alerted me to the fact that not all the videos were working on one of our pages so I corrected that. Check it out here... ___________ /___________\ | Tavern | | ____ | I'm a-callin you | | | | out Pecos Pete | |##| | ` _n_ _m_ | | | | O O =========== <()\ /()> /\ /\ / / / \ In Days Past http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dayspast.html --- ...Thanks Kim! These videos are important to the page! If you find a page with a non-working video, please let me know so I can correct it! -<>- >2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) The first too hot to handy page is from a forward from our friend PatDeE! It is amazing what this man can do with scraps auto parts! Check it out here... _ /_\ .'-'. .' '. '_________' ( ) |.---------.| |: Blinker :| |: Fluid :| |'---------'| (___________)LGB Junk Car Parts Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/junkcarart.html --- ...Pretty cool Art work! Thanks PatDeE! This next hottie is from our friend Linda. It's hard to view but shows some of the awesome architecture of Venice Italy. Most beautiful and sad at the same time. Check it out here... _==0_/ /_O ==C \__ .@___/\______/\/_)__ \ \,----------------------I|_ejm98___________/~-~-~-~ ~-~__|___~-~-~-~ ~-~-~-~ ~-~- ~-~-~-~ -~-~-~ ~-~-~-~ ~-~-~-~ ~-~-~-~-~~-~-~ ~-~-~-~ Venice Winter Flood! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/venice.html --- ...This took me back to my childhood. My grandma had a tapestry that totally captured my admiration as a child. It was of wonderful Venice Italy. Thank You Linda! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Learning About The World __T__I___...__7~ ,_ `"|-=||==|==|==| [_`'---...,____|"_||__|__|__|_ | `'---...__PHILOMENA D_______] jgs~^~-~^-^~^'----~^~---~---------~^---'`~^-^~~^-^~^ A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "I Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son. If you don't ask questions,... you'll never learn anything!" ======================================================= *-- Bizarre April Holidays --* April 1 is One Cent Day April 2 is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day April 3 is Tweed Day and Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day April 4 is Tell-A-Lie Day April 5 is Go For Broke Day April 6 is Sorry Charlie Day April 7 is No Housework Day April 8 is All Is Ours Day April 9 is Winston Churchill Day and Name Yourself Day April 10 is Golfers Day =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) -.--. ) " '-, ',' 2 '_ \q \ .\ _.--'\/'----.__ / \._ ' _/__ \__ _.'_.' \_ .-._\_ '-, } (,/ _.---;-( . \ \ ~ ____ ( .___\_\ \/_/ ( '-._ \ \ | '._ ),> _) > '-._ c=' Cooo -._ '-._ '. '-._ `\ snd '-._ '. '-._ \ `~---' >Surfer Grandma! The computer swallowed Grandma, Yes, honestly it's true! She pressed 'control and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Mr. Google My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online.' So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy, Scan' and 'Paste' her, And send her back to me. This is a tribute to all the Grandmas & Grandpas, Nannas & Pops, who have been fearless and learned to use the Computer......... They are the greatest!!! We do not stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing .. --- ...Too true! HaHa! Thanks Brenda! -<>- /) .-"".L,""-. ; :. : ( 7: ) : ; ctr "..-"-.." >Nurse Pin While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several of nurses were wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. "Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away." --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Brenda! -<>- >How Old? On the first day of school, the teacher greeted the children and asked their names and ages. When it came Bennie's turn, he held up four fingers. "Oh, you're 4," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?" The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, "When I hold up the other finger." --- ...HaHa! Thanks Brenda! -<>- .-~*~--,. .-. .-~-. ./OOOOOOOOO\.'OOO`9~~-. .`OOOOOO.OOM.OLSONOOOOO@@OOOOOO\ /OOOO@@@OO@@@OO@@@OOO@@@@@@@@OOOO`. |OO@@@WWWW@@@@OOWWW@WWWW@@@@@@@OOOO). .-'OO@@@@WW@@@W@WWWWWWWWOOWW@@@@@OOOOOO} /OOO@@O@@@@W@@@@@OOWWWWWOOWOO@@@OOO@@@OO| lOOO@@@OO@@@WWWWWWW\OWWWO\WWWOOOOOO@@@O.' \OOO@@@OOO@@@@@@OOW\ \WWWW@@@@@@@O'. `,OO@@@OOOOOOOOOOWW\ \WWWW@@@@@@OOO) \,O@@@@@OOOOOOWWWWW\ \WW@@@@@OOOO.' `~c~8~@@@@WWW@@W\ \WOO|\UO-~' (OWWWWWW@/\W\ ___\WO) `~-~'' \ \WW=*' __\ \ \ \ \ __\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \\ \ \ >Sometimes we never stop long enough to think outside the box. I have a friend who used her solar lights inside at night when her current was off during the hurricane. She stuck them in a jar or bottle and said they gave off plenty of 'free light'. She put one in each room and would put them back outside in the daytime and bring them in at night as long as the current was off. They are safe to use and cheaper than batteries. Bring in a solar light one night and test it. Due to a thunderstorm, we lost power for about 5 hours. We were scrambling around in the darkness, looking for matches, candles, flashlights, etc. We looked outside, and noticed our solar lights shining brightly all around our patio, stairs, dock, etc. They were beautiful. My wife walked outside, and brought several of the solar lights inside. We stuck the solar light pipes into plastic drink bottles containers and they made the nicest, brightest, safest, lighting you could ever imagine. We put one in the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, etc. There was plenty of light. There are all types of solar lights available. We bought ours at Harbor Freight. We put them all around our yard. They look nice and they do not attract flying bugs like the outdoor lights around our doorway. The lights we have fit into the small (20 oz) water bottles and they also fit into most of the larger liter bottles. If you need a weight in the plastic bottle to keep them from tipping over, you can put a few of the pretty colorful "flat marbles" that they put in aquariums, and vases. (you can also use sand, aquarium gravel, etc., whatever you have available). The lights we have were perfect inside our home. They burn all night long if you need them. The next day, you just take your solar lights back outside and they will instantly recharge and be ready for you to use again any time you need them. Perfect for power outages, hurricanes, etc. I never thought of it and now you don't have to. --- ...Great tip! Thanks Brenda! -<>- \ / \ / \.-./ (o\^/o) _ _ _ __ ./ \.\ ( )-( )-( ) .-' '-. {-} \(// || \\/ ( )) '-. //-__||__.-\\. .-' (/ () \)'-._.-' || || \\ MJP (' (' ') >ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER This one is a little different. Two Different Versions. Two Different Morals. OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house, and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself! *********************** MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving. CBC, CTV, Global and City TV show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canada is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on CBC News with Peter Mansbridge along with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.' People Against Poverty stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, We Shall Overcome. Then Olivia Chow has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper's sake. Dalton McGuinty condemns the ant and blames Prime Minister Harper, former Premier Mike Harris, Bill Davis, Joe Clarke, Harold Ballard, and Conrad Black for the grasshopper's plight. Ed Broadbent and John Sewell explain in an interview with Wendy Mesley that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the Provincial Liberal/NDP coalition drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes his home is confiscated by the government Green Czar David Miller and given to the grasshopper. The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize and ramshackle the once prosperous and peaceful neighbourhood. The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote. I've sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant! You may wish to pass this on to other ants, but don't bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn't understand it, anyway. --- ...Okidoki then! Thanks Brenda! ======================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From Our Friend Johanna :) Malia Obama Vacations In Mexico With 25 Secret Service Agents http://tinyurl.com/7ggjd7s Snopes verifies this: http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/maliamexico.asp --- ...Isn't it nice what we pay for. Thanks Johanna! -<>- >From The TeaParty: New Must See Video: This Hoax Affects Everyone http://tinyurl.com/88yddo7 --- ...Very disheartening Breaking News: "Bill Clinton Told Me Obama Not Eligible" http://tinyurl.com/7fkgc7t The Clintons were the original “birthers,” Viviano told WND in an interview in Los Angeles. http://tinyurl.com/6wcad8p -<>- >From BizarreNews: Some People MUST Have Rocks For Brains! Say you are driving along the Interstate in Vermont and you come across an unconscious, 30-pound, wild bobcat lying on the side of the road. What would you do? Well, if you are a tourist you just might stop, pick the thing up and put it in the back of your car. But when he wakes up you better have a taser handy. A driver from out-of-state pulled this very stunt, picked up an injured bobcat from the highway, placed it into his car and drove to the nearby Vermont Welcome Center, state police said. Once at the Welcome Center the bobcat woke up. The bobcat was gravely injured and there was concern about how to remove it from the vehicle safely. A veterinarian from the Vermont-New Hampshire Veterinary Clinic responded to a police call for help. She said that even though the bobcat wasn't demonstrating or speaking at a political event, authorities determined the safest way to deal with it was to incapacitate it with the use of a hand-held Taser. The bobcat was Tased through the open car window and while it was incapacitated the vet administered the sedative. The bobcat was too seriously injured to be rehabilitated and was euthanized. "Never handle a large bird of prey, raccoon, skunk, deer, opossum, bobcat or bear," a state police spokesperson said. "While they may appear to be cute and harmless these animals have particularly powerful talons, teeth, legs, and claws. All animals are unpredictable, especially when injured or protecting babies." *-- Wedding postponed to buy chemo for lizard --* LONDON - A British woman said she had to postpone her wedding after spending more than $4,700 on chemotherapy for her pet lizard. Lizzie Griffiths, 25, of London said she adopted George, her bearded dragon, last year and decided to postpone her wedding to Chris Fisher so she could spend their saved cash to treat the reptile's cancer, The Sun reported Thursday. "Chris knows George will always come first," Griffiths said. "I fell in love with George the minute I saw him and knew I'd do anything to look after him properly. So right now we can't afford a wedding." Griffiths said George, who became the first bearded dragon in Britain to undergo chemotherapy, is now in remission. Fisher said he understands that George will always be "Lizzie's No. 1." *-- Man called 911 to make wife go to bed --* WESLEY CHAPEL, Fla. - A Florida man serving a 60-day jail sentence for misuse of 911 called the emergency line because his wife would not leave him alone to check his Facebook. The Pasco County Sheriff's Office said Doyle Hardwick, who began serving his sentence Tuesday, called 911 on Sept. 24 and told the dispatcher his wife refused to stop sitting next to him and go to bed, the Tampa Bay Times, St. Petersburg, Fla., reported Thursday. Hardwick, 57, told the operator his wife told him she would go to bed if he let her drink some beers, but she refused to leave the seat next to him upon finishing her beverages. He said he was upset his wife would not let him "look at Facebook peacefully," the 911 transcript states. Deputies said both Hardwick and his wife smelled of alcohol when they arrived at their home. Hardwick pleaded no contest to misuse of 911 in February and an arrest warrant was issued when he failed to show up to serve his sentence. He turned himself in Tuesday and began serving his 60 days. *-- Medical pot delivery man: Ninjas robbed me --* WEST COVINA, Calif. - Police in Southern California said a medical marijuana delivery man told them he was robbed by two people dressed as ninjas. West Covina police said the man, who is in his 40s, told investigators he was return- ing to his vehicle after making a delivery shortly before 10 p.m. Friday when "he was approached by two subjects in ninja costumes who chased him with batons," the San Gabriel Valley (Calif.) Tribune reported Monday. "The victim said he was scared and he dropped a bag with some marijuana and money. The suspects took it," police Lt. Alan Henley said. Police said they had no reports of other recent crimes in which perpetrators were dressed as ninjas. *-- $26 hot dog on Rangers Ballpark menu --* ARLINGTON, Texas - The company that handles concessions for the Texas Rangers said fans at Rangers Ballpark will be able to buy a 1-pound hot dog for $26. Concessions firm Sportsservice said the "Boomstick" hot dog, named in honor of right fielder Nelson Cruz, is topped with shredded cheese, chili, sauteed onions and fries, ESPNDallas.com reported Monday. "I don't know how many calories are in this thing, but it's got to be 2,000 or 3,000," said Casey Rapp, operations manager for Sportsservice. "We did a half-pound hot dog during the World Series and wanted to top it," Rapp said. "Our company had to have the hot dog made special and we had to find a local bakery to make the bun. The bun is like a loaf of bread just to hold this thing." ========================================================= "=. "=. \ \ \ _,-=\/=._ _.-,_ / \ /=-._ "-. |=-./~\___/~\ / `-._\ | \o/ \o/ / / \_ `~~~;/ | | `~,._,-' / / | | =-._ / _,-=/ \=-._ /|`-._/ // \\ )\ /| |)_.'/ //| |\_." _.-\ (| \ / _.`= \ || ":_ _.;"_.-;" _.-=.: _-."/ / `-."\_." =-_.;\ `-_./ / _.-=. / \\ | =-_.;\ ." \\ \ \\/ \\ /\_ .'\\ \\ // `=_ _.-" \\ \\ // `~-.=`"`' || || LGB || _.-_/| || |\_.-_ _.-_/| /_.-._/ |\_.-_ \_.-._\ /_.-._/ \_.-._\ >-->CLASSIFIEDS The following were taken from actual classified ads in newspapers: AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. 83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000 FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD. HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER. FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100 NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD. EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175. KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb. ============================================================= >-->From LaughAndLift: */The Lift/* _ _( )_ ( (o___ | _ 7 \ (") / \ \ ( ) ) | \ __/ | | ( / \ / ) /(_ | (___) \___) kurt scaletta Alone (by Dr. James L. Wilson) I love the solitude of a Trout stream or a good book, and every now and then, when life gets hectic, I'll say, 'I just wish everyone will leave me alone.' A few years ago I was isolated from people after drinking radioactive iodine as a treatment for papillary cancer. I wasn't allowed any visitors, not even the doctor, instead, he stood behind a lead screen at the door to talk to me. The first few hours was wonderful, but after that, I needed human contact. Though periods of solitude are a welcome respite from 'busyness,' the truth is, I hate being alone. It's not just me either, something happens to people when they are isolated. Every now and then, a television reporter will put a microphone into the face of a serial killer's neighbor and ask for a description of the criminal. Inevitably, the same term will surface, 'He was a 'loner,'' they'll say, 'He kinda kept to himself.' The FBI describes Eric Rudolph, the suspected bomber of Centennial Olympic Park during the 1996 Olympic Games, as a 'loner.' You'll remember that reporters used the same term to describe the convicted Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, when he was arrested near Lincoln, Montana in May of 1996. God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone,' (Gen. 2:18) so He created Eve as a wife for Adam. When Jesus sent his disciples on a mission trip, He sent them out in pairs. Yet, many Christians find themselves in spiritual isolation. They minister alone, study alone and live their Christian life alone. Though times of solitude are helpful to everyone, there is something unhealthy about being a 'Lone Ranger' Christian. After all, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. -<>- | --====|====-- | .-"""""-. .'_________'. /_/_|__|__|_\_\ ;'-._ _.-'; ,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------, ``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""`` jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"` \\_// '._ _.' \\_// `"` ``---`` `"` >Travel Agent Stories The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seat on the plane so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response...click. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state." I got a call from a man who asked "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said "No" He said "But they look so close on the map." Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1 hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said "I heard Dallas was a big airport and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time." A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that! A woman called and asked "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said "No, why do you ask?" She replied "Well, when I checked in with the airline they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. I just got off the phone with a man who asked "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them." A woman called and said "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said "Yeah, whatever" A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!" A woman called to make reservations "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere" The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal" was the reply. _SUBSCRIBE INFO_ Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ============================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _____________ ..---:::::::-----------. ::::;;. .'"""""" ;; \ ":. .'' ; \ "\__. .' ;; ; \\"; .' ; _____; \\/ .' :; ;" \ ___:'. .'--........................... : = ____:" \ \ ..-"" """' o""" ; ; : .--"" .----- ..----... _.- --. ..-" ; ; ; ; .""_- "--""-----'"" _-" .-"" ; ; .-. .' .' ." ." ; ; /. | /-./' ." / _.. ; ; ;;;| : ;-.______ / _________==. /_ \ ; ; ;;;; ; / | """"""""""".---.""""""" : /" ". |; ; _; ;;; /"-/ | / / / / ;|; ;-" | ;'; :- : """----______ / / ____. . ."'. ;; .-"..T" . '. " ___ "": '"""""""""""""" . ; ; ;; ;." ." '--" ", __ """ ""---... :- - - - - - - - - ' ' ; ; ; ;;" ." /. ; """---___ ; ; ; ;|."" : ": """----. .-------. ; ; ; ;: \ '--__ \ \ \ / | ; ;; '-.. """"---___ : .______..\ __/..-""| ; ; ; ""--.. """--" m l s . ". . ; ""------... ..--"" " : """""""""""""""""" \ / "------" As I was on the way home from a long and stressful day at the office, the car phone rang. It was my husband. "Will you be joining me in the whirlpool tonight?" he asked. "What a lovely way to spend an evening," I thought. I was about to tell him how considerate he was when he continued, "Because if you're not, I need to start adding more water to the tub." -<>- When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him. "Well Frank," said the doctor, "It's going to take at least five days for the parts to get in. As for the cost, there's no way to tell until we get in there and see exactly what the problem is." -<>- John was tasked with taking the Christmas decorations up to the attic for another year's storage. During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before landing square on his behind. His wife heard the noise and yelled, "What was that thump?" "I just fell down the stairs," he explained. She rushed into the room, "Anything broken?!" "No, no, I'm fine." There was just a slight pause before his loving wife said, "No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?" -<>- A woman came into my pharmacy with a shopping list. As she asked for items such as hair spray and toothpaste, I inquired what size of each she wanted. Everything was going well until she requested a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. I was surprised when, in response to my usual question, "What size?" she said, "What size would you suggest? I'm only having four for dinner." -<>- While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy pijamas with matching robe. "No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!" -<>- |\ ___ | ) / '-. ||.+ L (__ \ || '-.\ ___)a \__ \ || `-. /.__ J__//--. |J `-. |_ '-._ \ _.------. | L ` L__. _/`----.____ / b a (__c> |J \ __,-_____ __._>\__/ ( c " h\ L L \ ./--+///___)_.--' /\ -. \ d e f g / J J | \\__// `--(_.( `--.....-' | \ J )_ _,- \__ \ `--' L | L ` )-)_/ \_._..--''-..) J | | \ [_._._,.. _] | | | ,,' _/ ( __ | _ | J ,' \ _________ / \ \ | _______a:f____ | J_.L_.' \ / _\_/\ ( L | \ / _| / \_ F J J ( (_ L `-. / L \ \__. `. \__ \ / J ^ \ ) \____ \ / L .---.-)_ _/ ) \ /_ | ( `-' \__/. L__\_\ | `-.__.--.___) --- / (_/ J |_ ( .-' --- `---' One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portrait for a class assign- ment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were all incorrect. "The head is too big," the professor explained. "The shoulders are too narrow, and the neck is way too long." The next day, the art student brought Peter to see the pro- fessor. He took one look at my brother and said, "Okay, A minus." -<>- In a very exclusive private school near California's Silicon Valley, a third-grade teacher was lecturing her upper-high- class students about the less fortunate. She asked them each to write an essay about a poor family in the area. One little girl's paper began: "Once upon a time there was a poor family. The father was poor. The mother was poor. The children were poor. The nannies were poor. The pool man was poor. The personal trainer was poor. The gardners were poor. This was a very poor family! -<>- ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy A high school senior saw an inspirational advertisement on television about becoming a teacher. She called the number shown: 1-800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, the student babbled on about how she thought she had found her life's calling and could she send her some information. The lady who answered the phone asked the student what number she was calling. The student told her and there was a pause. Then she said, "You misspelled TEACH." ======================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Cost Of A Child http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/costofchild.html How True It Is! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/nyear.html Journey Through Life! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/journey.html Chainsaw Wood Carving http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodcarving.html Paper Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/paperart.html Amazing Horse Trainer http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/horsetrainer.html Elephant Rescue! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephants.html Great White Shark! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatwhite.html Thinkers And Their Desks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html World Of Big Cats http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigcats.html -<>- >From Our Friend Johanna :) She wished me a happy birthday by going here... http://www.minibite.com/cards/birthday/ihope.htm --- ...LOL! Aww, Thank You Bunches Johanna! -<>- >From Our Friend Brenda :) Little Bobby Harrison, Trumpet Player http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXHrv6s3pQE&feature=related --- ...Great talent! Thanks Brenda! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) MAKE SURE YOU WATCH THIS ONE - ONLY 52 SECONDS Make sure your wife, husband, TEENAGERS, and all your friends see this! No sound, just watch. You will be flabbergasted. It COULD have happened To anyone of us. If you notice he got away with her car, purse, and keys Without touching her . . . Worst of all, she couldn't even give a description of the person to the Police! I could see myself doing exactly what she did! I'm glad I saw this video. Please watch and pass it on. Creative Car Thief Caught on Security Camera http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXu4vhstK0s --- ...Yeppers! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Bunni :) Best Glock Gun Commercial http://www.youtube.com/embed/vsVCHE7ayPE?rel=0 --- ...Oh Yeah! Thanks Bunni! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Cup Of Coffee http://tinyurl.com/6zxf54r --- ...Nice One! Thanks! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) ripped : oxford dictionaries spelling challenge http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/media/spelling-bee-2011/ --- ...Hey! They don't have beginner level? HaHa! Thanks Wesley! ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Some things just aren't funny. Beatings aren't funny. Mimes aren't funny. But beating a mime - why is that so hilarious?" -- Dave Attell "Instead of saying 'hello', my mother gets on the phone and says, 'Guess who died?'" --Dom Irrera "Whenever I see one of those ads where you get eight CDs for a penny, and then you have to pay another panny for the next CD, I immediately call up and demand to know why the last one is so expensive. Why does it cost eight times as much as the others?" --Bill Dwyer "The frightening reality is every day this society seems to make its legal decisions in much the same way the Archies picked their vacation spots -- blindfold Jughead, give him a dart and spin the globe." --Dennis Miller "You ever have somebody owe you money, and have the nerve to wear new clothes around you? Brand-new clothes, and they point them out, like, 'Hey, look what I just picked up!' 'Well, did you see my money while you were down there?'" --Chris Rock "They added up all the people in this country who consider themselves a minority and it added up to more than the pop- ulation of the country." --Bill Maher "What is it with dads? They turn forty or fifty and suddenly they become Mr. Fix-it. You find them cruising around the house with a screwdriver in one hand. 'I'm gonna tighten something.'" --Gary Barkin "We're fishing and my wife had a problem with killing the fish. I wasn't exactly crazy with that part either, but I figured, if we just wait for them to die naturally, it could take forever. Certainly till after supper." --Paul Reiser "You need to have a stupid girlfriend so that on a bad day you can call her. 'Tanya, I'm having a bad day, tell me something stupid you've done. You caught on fire, and you tried to put it out with alcohol?'" --Ellen Cleghorne >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************