Surgery, Hell Is Full And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->3 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) In honor of the US Army's 245th birthday, we have 3 sizzling hot new pages from our friend LouiseAu. You may be surprised to learn just how many of your favorite celebrities have served in the military. See how many you can recognize! Be sure to check out their cool videos. See all three starting here... .---. ___ /_____\ /\.-`( '.' ) / / \_-_/_ \ `-.-"`'V'//-. `.__, |// , \ |Ll //Ll|\ \ |__// | \_\ /---|[]==| / / \__/ | \/\/ /_ | Ll_\| |`^"""^`| | | | | | | | | | | | | L___l___J jgs |_ | _| (___|___) ^^^ ^^^ Famous US Veterans! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/famousveterans.html --- ...Fun ones! Kept me busy all weekend! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ____ ____ ____ ____ |2 | |A | |Q | |T | |(\/)| | /\ | | /\ | | & | | \/ | | \/ | |(__)| |&|& | | 2| | A| | /\Q| | | T| en Bukkems `----` `----' `----' `----' Two lunatics are in the rec room of an asylum. One is playing solitaire, and the other is watching. Suddenly, the watcher says, "Hey! You just cheated yourself!" "Ssh!" The other whispers, "Don't tell anybody, but I've been cheating myself at solitaire for years." The first nut whispers back, "But, don't you ever catch yourself?" "Nope", the solitaire player say proudly, "I'm way too clever!" -<>- At one of the last all girl schools, the instructor in a 'Charm Course' was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you," she said. Then, returning to reality, she added, "But, if the big, dumb idiot is in the restaurant ordering his steak... don't wait any longer." -<>- >Defining Occupations As They Actually Are Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain) Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant. Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief". Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. Schoolteacher - Is some one who likes children. A royal baby sitter. Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go somewhere you don't like in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ June 15 is National Nature Photography Day, Smile Power Day and Global Wind Day June 16 is Fresh Veggies Day June 17 is Eat Your Vegetables Day June 18 is Go Fishing Day, International Panic Day, International Picnic Day, International Sushi Day, National Splurge Day and Nursing Assistants Day June 19 is Juneteenth, National Kissing Day, Take a Road Trip Day and World Sauntering Day June 20 is Finally Summer Day / Summer Solstice, Ice Cream Soda Day, National Bald Eagle Day, National Hollerin' Contest Day, Record Store Day and World Juggler's Day June 21 is Father's Day, Go Skateboarding Day, International Yoga Day, National Sea Shell Day, National Selfie Day and National Turkey Lovers Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: \ \ ___ \ :` o `: \ |`---`| \ |MmmmM| .--. () |MMMMM| / \ /\ |mMMMm|/ `.' '.__. `---` jgs >Favorite Museum Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. When I visited recently, I asked the woman at the front desk about a senior discount. It wasn't to be. "Sir," she said, "this is a quilt museum. We give discounts to teenagers." -<>- >Wearing a Watch Even though he could not tell time, my three-year-old grandson was wearing a watch when I visited. Later, when I was putting on my coat to leave, I asked him what time it was. He looked at his watch blankly, then brightened. "It's time for you to go," he answered triumphantly. -<>- >Anniversary Cake On our first anniversary, after a romantic candlelit dinner, my wife emerged from the kitchen with the finishing touch: the top of our wedding cake for dessert. At the first cut, the iced layer "squeaked" at us. For an entire year, we had saved a round chunk of frosting-covered Styrofoam in our freezer. -<>- >Cakes and Ale Here is a purported to be true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued: Proctor: I beg your pardon? Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale. Proctor: Sorry, no. Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale. At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale." Soda and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away. Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination. -<>- \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz >Military Reprimand A young soldier was up before his commanding officer for a reprimand. After going through a list of his misdemeanors the CO says, "And another thing, I didn't see you at camouflage practice this morning." "Thank you, Sir," the soldier replied. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ `-. \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH >SMILES I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn, because I was taking too long to place my order.... “Take the high road,” I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window, I paid for her order along with my own!! The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with a kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food, too. Now she has to go back to the end of the line and start all over. Don't honk your horn at old people! --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ,-. Life keeps rolling along...... ( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - |`-'| : : : : : : : : | | : : : : : : : : `-'` ~ - . _'. - ~ ` ~ - .'_ . - ~ ` ~ - cww >EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT TOILET PAPER 1. The first recorded use of toilet paper was in 6th Century China. 2. By the 14th Century, the Chinese government was mass-producing it. 3. Packaged toilet paper wasn't sold in the United States until 1857. 4. Joseph Gayety, the man who introduced packaged TP to the U.S. had his name printed on every sheet. 5. Global toilet paper demand uses nearly 30,000 trees every day. 6. That's 10 million trees a year. 7. It wasn't until 1935 that a manufacturer was able to promise Splinter-Free Toilet Paper. 8. Seven percent of Americans admit to stealing rolls of toilet paper in hotels. 9. Americans use an average of 8.6 sheets of toilet paper per trip to the bathroom. 10. The average roll has 333 sheets. 11. Historically, what you use to wipe depended on your income level. 12. In the middle ages they used something called a gompf stick which was just an actual stick used to scrape. 13. Wealthy Romans used wool soaked in rose water and French royalty used lace. 14. Other things that were used before toilet paper include: Hay, corn cobs, sticks, stones, sand, moss, hemp, wool, husks, fruit peels, ferns, sponges, seashells, knotted ropes, and broken pottery (ouch!). I must add Poison Ivy leaves with others available 15. 70-75% of the world still doesn't use toilet paper because it is too expensive or there is not sufficient plumbing. 16. In many Western European countries, bidets are seen as more effective and preferable to toilet paper. 17. Colored toilet paper was popular in the U.S. until the 1940s. 18. The reason toilet paper disintegrates so quickly when wet is that the fibers used to make it are very short. 19. On the International Space Station, they still use regular toilet paper but it has to be sealed in special containers and Compressed. 20. During Desert Storm, the U.S. Army used toilet paper to camouflage their tanks. 21. In 1973 Johnny Carson caused a toilet paper shortage. He said as a joke that there was a shortage, which there wasn't, until everyone believed him and ran out to buy up the supply. It took three weeks for some stores to get more stock. 22. There is a contest sponsored by Charmin to design and make wedding dresses out toilet paper. The winner gets $2,000. 23. There was a toilet paper museum in Wisconsin, The Madison Museum of Bathroom Tissue, but it closed in 2000. 24. The museum once had over 3,000 rolls of TP from places all over the world, including The Guggenheim, Ellis Island, and Graceland. 25. There is still a virtual toilet paper museum called Nobody's Perfect. 26. In 1996, President Clinton passed a Toilet Paper Tax of 6 cents per roll, which is still in effect today. Obama tried to triple that but the House wouldn't pass it. 27. The Pentagon uses, on average, 666 rolls of toilet paper per day. 28. The most expensive toilet paper in the world is from Portuguese brand Renova. 29. Renova is three-ply, perfumed, costs $3 per roll and comes in several colors including black, red, blue and green. 30. The CEO of Renova came up with the idea for black toilet paper while he was at a Cirque du Soleil show. 31. Beyonce uses only red Renova toilet paper. 32. Kris Jenner uses only the black Renova toilet paper. 33. If you hang your toilet paper so you can pull it from the top, you're considered more intelligent than someone who pulls it from the bottom. (Wonder how this was determined?) (cats) 34. Koji Suzuki, a Japanese horror novelist best known for writing The Ring, had an entire novel printed on a single roll of toilet paper. 35. The novel takes place in a public bathroom and the entire story runs approximately three feet long. 36. When asked what necessity they would bring to a desert island, 49% of people said toilet paper before food. 37. Queen Elizabeth II wipes her royal bottom with silk handkerchiefs. Wonder if the royal chambermaid gets to wash those? 38. Muslims wipe their bums with their bare hand--- always the left hand . They eat with their right hand. As a Muslim, If you are caught shop lifting, your right hand is cut off forcing you to eat with your poopy left hand. This history was sent to you using my right hand! --- ...HaHaHa! (AND NO I did not vet these!) Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ## .. #### ##.............## ## ##.............## ## ##.............## ## ##.............### ##...........## ############# ############# ################# -Berry- No need to spend big bucks to pamper yourself. From banana peels to used coffee grounds, your kitchen is a gold mine of free skin, hair and body nourishers! * Soothe rashy skin with celery pulp Do you juice celery? the pulp that's left behind is packed with anti-inflammatory properties that calm red, rashy skin. An added perk; antioxidants in the veggie fortify skin's barrier to prevent future irritation. After juicing, take the discarded pulp and rub onto irritated skin. Let stand for 10 minutes before rinsing. * Fade wrinkles with banana peels Unique compounds in banana peels have been shown to increase collagen production, which helps diminish the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Plus, when rubbed onto skin, the peel gently sloughs off the dead, dry cells that can make creases look more noticeable. Rub the inside of a banana peel onto areas with wrinkly skin, let sit for 10 minutes then rinse. * Slim a double chin with coffee grounds Chock full of diuretic caffeine, used coffee grounds draw out excess water from puffy skin, making the area under the chin look tauter. And pairing with egg whites (their amino acids tighten skin) and coconut oil (its lauric acid hydrates skin) speeds results. Mix 1/4 cup of brewed coffee grounds, the white from 1 egg and 1 Tbs. of coconut oil. Rub onto skin from the jawline down to the neck, rinse after 15 minutes. * Beat bacne with citrus rind The citric acid on the outside of lemon, lime and orange peels unclogs pores, thwarts excess oil production and kills bacteria for clear, blemish-free skin. Rub rinds onto the back for 1 minute, rinse after 15. * Baking soda restores radiance Mix equal amounts of baking soda and water and rub onto damp skin for 1 minute, rinse. The mildly abrasive powder gently whisks away dead, dulling skin cells leaving the complexion with a gorgeous glow. * Olive oil softens rough heels Rub any bottom-of-the-bottle oil onto heels and wrap them with a warm, damp towel for 15 minutes, then rinse. The oil's fatty acids lock in moisture while its antioxidants repair rigid skin for baby-soft feet. * Milk de-puffs undereye bags Soak cotton pads with any last drops of milk and place on closed lids for 10 minutes, then rinse. Milk's anti- inflammatory lactic acid nixes swelling, and its coolness skrinks blood vessels to lighten dark circles. -<>- We all spend a lot of time in there! _____ | D | | | | \___| _ || _______ -( (- |_'(-------) '-' | / _____,-\__..__|_____Pr59 It's all about the bathroom... Use kitchen drawer dividers in your bathroom. You know, those same things you use for silverware and other odds and ends. Those dividers can be perfect for storing makeup, tooth- brushes, floss containers, and other small items in your bathroom drawers. As in the kitchen, they serve the additional function of protecting your drawers from moisture. * Install hooks for towels. If you don't have enough room for all your towels on your towel racks, mounting hooks is fast and easy and will provide you with the additional space you need. * Keep all your larger toiletries (hair spray, lotion, etc.) inside a larger bin or box, and store that under your sink. When you get ready each day, you can just pull it out and use everything, and then put it all back. That's a lot easier than looking for every item individually. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: In honor of the U.S. Army’s 245th birthday today, we’re trying to send 24,500 messages of thanks to our troops. Can you spare a minute to send a few kind words? https://tinyurl.com/ybdqp4sl Trump campaign touts 1 million ticket requests for Tulsa rally https://tinyurl.com/yc7zo6k9 UN Tried to Use Pandemic to Push Abortion, But Pres. Trump Wasn’t Having It https://tinyurl.com/y94v2tlx In an interview with Fox News’ Harris Faulkner, President Donald Trump answered hard questions regarding protesters’ call to defund the police and ban chokeholds, and discussed what it means to be a “law and order” president. Trump, who is usually snarky with the press, took a more serious tone with Faulkner who reminded him that she is both a Black woman and a mom who was deeply affected by the video of George Floyd’s death. https://tinyurl.com/y9kdoe97 Here’s What President Trump Is Doing to Help Underserved Communities, Minority Businesses —Fort Worth Star-Telegram “I joined the president Thursday in Dallas as he hosted a roundtable at a church. Included in the discussion were faith and community leaders and small-business owners who discussed solutions to historic economic, health, and justice disparities in American communities,” writes Ashley Bell of the White House Opportunity & Revitalization Council. https://tinyurl.com/yc3wcllr Tom Cotton: NYT Column Calling To Abolish Police ‘Puts Lives In Danger’ https://tinyurl.com/yaf8ksxf Daneen Borelli: 'Democrat-run cities have been failing Black Americans for many many years' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfbaKgzOLoE Tucker Carlson, Hannity expose CHAZ hypocrisy, insanity https://tinyurl.com/y8h3zbu9 Experts Disgraced Themselves By Prioritizing Woke Politics Over Public Health https://tinyurl.com/y96fog3n EXCLUSIVE: MLK’s Niece Says Biden Speaks From A Different Reality In Saying Floyd’s Death Had A Bigger Impact Than MLK’s Assassination https://tinyurl.com/yagz9mvm Kayleigh McEnany Challenges Omar Over Her Comparing Cops To Cancer TheDC Shorts https://tinyurl.com/y8fhv2qt Lawless in Seattle: City Lets Anarchists Seize Downtown Blocks —New York Post https://tinyurl.com/yact5wx8 Westwing News: The Media Said Trump Didn’t Have a COVID Testing Strategy. The Media Was Wrong. https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Beef Recalled, Possible E.coli Contamination http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: As the world turns, the dumb just keep getting dumber - Striking back against that stronghold of white supremacy and racism, a man in Wisconsin allegedly broke into a baseball stadium and yelled "Black Lives Matter" as he damaged the field with a tractor, according to a criminal complaint. Keyon A. Lambert is accused of breaking into and causing $40,000 worth of damage to Miller Park in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Lambert told police his goal was to write his name in cursive on Miller Park's field using the tractor's wheels. Lambert also yelled "we're gonna burn this [expletive] down tonight" as he drove the tractor. Lambert allegedly entered Miller Park after finding a door unlocked. He then began driving a tractor using its front bucket causing damage to the field, but he told police the tractor "moved too slow" for him to do this. Instead, Lambert allegedly decided he would "show off" after he saw employees filming him. He is charged with one count of criminal damage to property and one count of disorderly conduct. -<>- A 10-year treasure hunt ended a few days ago when a scavenger located a chest in the Rocky Mountains that contains $1 million in gold, jewels and other valuables, the creator of the hunt said. Santa Fe art dealer and author Forrest Fenn, who started the hunt in 2010, said his clue-filled poem led the man to the chest's location. "It was under a canopy of stars in the lush, forested vegetation of the Rocky Mountains and had not moved from the spot where I had it more than 10 years ago," Fenn wrote on his website. "I do not know the person who found it, but the poem in my book led him to the precise spot. Fenn told the Santa Fe New Mexican the discovery occurred "a few days ago." He didn't identify the man who found the treasure, but he said the scavenger confirmed his discovery with a photograph. More than 400,000 people have hunted for the treasure over the years and as many as 2 million have been involved in some way or another, a study said earlier this year. The chase has sometimes been deadly, resulting in at least four deaths in the Rocky Mountain wilderness. Several treasure hunters, called "chasers" or "Fenners," also had to be extracted from dangerous situations by search-and-rescue teams. Some believed the treasure hunt was a hoax, while others said they'd seen it with their own eyes. "There were big gold nuggets from Alaska the size of your fist and gold coins, Krugerrands, and some little pre- Columbian statues, including a little frog," Santa Fe author Doug Preston reported. He said he also saw "loose gems. It was like a pirate chest." "I feel halfway kind of glad, halfway kind of sad because the chase is over," Fenn said. *--- Florida man fist-fights alligator ---* A Florida man said he ended up in a fist fight with a 13-foot alligator when the reptile attacked his dog and pulled the canine into the water. Trent Tweddale said he and his 6-year-old dog, Loki, were walking on his Wesley Chapel farm when a 13-foot alligator reached out of the water and grabbed the dog. "I grabbed the dog's collar to try to pull him back and I ended up in a tug-of-war match with this gator and the gator was not letting go," Tweddale told local news. "So I let go of the collar and I got about knee-deep into the water and started pounding on the gator's head until he eventually let go." Tweddale said he ended up with only minor scratches, but Loki's front leg was nearly severed and required emergency surgery. He said a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission trapper helped him set a trap for the gator on his property. *--- Gin bottles mistakenly filled with sanitizer ---* A distillery in Australia said a recall successfully recovered all gin bottles that were mistakenly sold as liquor when they were actually filled with hand sanitizer. The Apollo Bay Distillery in Victoria said nine bottles labeled SS Casino Gin were sold during the weekend at the Great Ocean Road Brewhouse in Apollo Bay. The distillery said the bottles were mistakenly put up for sale as gin, but were actually filled with hand sanitizer containing glycerol and hydrogen peroxide. "Consumption of the product may have side effects including nausea, headaches, dizziness, bloating, vomiting, thirst and diarrhea," the distillery said in issuing the recall. Of course, you could say that about gin too. "We are very sorry this occurred. Rest assured we will be following up our procedures to ensure this does not occur again," the distillery said. *--- Feds torpedo submarine smuggler ---* A Canadian man who allegedly admitted using a submarine to smuggle drugs and money into the U.S. was charged after federal agents found him floating unconscious in the Detroit River while hauling 265 pounds of marijuana, according to authorities. The case against Glen Richard Mousseau, 49, of Windsor, Ontario, was filed in federal court and describes an unusual twist on the rich bootlegging history of smuggling drugs, people and liquor across the international border between Detroit and Canada. "Smugglers try out all means when trying to smuggle things into the United States," said Kris Grogan, a Customs and Border Protection spokesman. Mousseau will be held without bond as new details emerged about the underwater gadget prosecutors say Mousseau used to smuggle drugs and money. *- 'At sea one day, you'll smell land where there'll be no land' -* A humpback whale off the New Jersey coast landed on a boat, tossing two men overboard and causing the vessel to become beached. Witnesses said the whale was breaching Monday off Seaside Park when it collided with the boat, sending two men into the water. The men, who were not injured, were able to climb back onto the boat before it beached, the witnesses said. Police said beachgoers helped the men secure the boat and retrieve dropped items from the water. Witnesses said the whale did not appear injured and continued to breach for some time after the crash. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: ______________ /' | ( | \.______________| \\. //\\ .// `\\. .//. m1a // `\\// \\ || .//\\. || ||.// `\\.|| |// `\\| '' `` >A Different Position HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight? WIFE: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. -<>- >The Best Breast Stroke A blonde, brunette and redhead woman decided to compete in the Breast Stroke division of the English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second, then the blonde finally reached the shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and a drink she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I'm pretty sure those other two girls used their arms. -<>- >Random Hilarity Two blonde guys are walking down the street. One of them says, sadly, "Wow! Look at that dead bird." The other guy looks up in the sky and says, "Where?" Two employees are talking. One of them asks the other, "How long have you been working here?" The other one replies, "Since they threatened to fire me." A guy goes to the doctor, and the doctor says, "I'm going to need a urine sample, a semen sample, a blood sample, and a stool sample." The guy says, "Listen, Doc I'm in a hurry. Can I just leave my shorts?" -<>- >The Best Gift, Pound For Pound My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." So I bought her a bathroom scale. -<>- >Q and A Quickies Q: What does a pessimistic Rooster say? A: Cock-a-doodle-don't. | m1a | | / | \ \ | / . --\|/-- , '--|___|--' ,--|___|--, ' /\o o/\ ` + + + ` ' Q: What do get when you cross a rabbit with a spider? A: A hare net. Q: What bird can lift the most? A: A crane. Q: Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? A: He was charged with battery. Q: There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy? A: The one on the range. , \. /J ..---.. .-```-. L`\ \-.__.-` L .-`` ``-. / \ | \ \ J .` _. `. J J \ `\ L/ /` \ . \ \ | | \ `, | ``-.o\ /_.-``\ L L L `\ | J , `/\` , | J J `\ / L /( `` )\ J | | , `\ | `\`---.....--`/` | L L | ` | \ (__Y__) / L-.-' J |\ | `-.____.-` / __ | | \ |`. .` ( ) `-._.-` \ | `-.. ..-` `-` `-.___.-` ``---`` NDT Q: What do you call someone with no body and no nose? A: Nobody Knows! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _ , L\ \/OO\ |/ \ /_\ ` _\ |_ Arjen Pilon One day, an employee received an unusually large paycheck. She decided not to say anything about it. The following week, her check was short the overpayment she received the previous week. So she confronted her boss about it. "How come," her boss inquired, "you didn't say anything when you were overpaid?" Unperturbed, the employee replied, "Well, I can overlook one mistake - but two in a row is getting unacceptable!" -<>- "What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year. "He's a magician, ma'am" said Little Johnny. "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" "He saws people in half." "Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?" "One half brother and two half sisters." -<>- >On Surgery \ _____ \ / \ ______ \ /______ \ / \ /__ __ \_\ /________\ (\ \O) O) ) \__ __/ _ // |(------/ ([ -]__[- ]) /\\(\ \ / \__/ \__/ \___/ \----/ \ / \ \ __/ \___ __/\____/\__ \ \ / \ / \ \ \/ \ / \ \ /| |\ \ / | | \ jro \__/ | | \ \ \ | | / Five surgeons are having drinks together at a surgical convention and making jokes... The first, a Florida surgeon, says: "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second, a Michigan surgeon, responds: "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside of them is color coded." The third, a California surgeon, says: "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside of them is in alphabetical order." The fourth, an New York surgeon, chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over." _____ "Hmmmmm...." / \ \ ______ /_______\ \ / \ | __ __ | /________\ ( -)_(- ) \__ __/ \---' '---/ ([ -]__[- ]) \ / \__/ \__/ \-----/ \ / __/ \__ __/\____/\__ / \ / \ / \ / \ / /| |\ \ / | | \ jro \ \| |/ / \ | | / But the fifth, from Washington D.C. shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no brains, no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable." -<>- While at a marine-supply store stocking up on equipment for my boat, I also purchased an inflatable life preserver. "It was my wife's idea," I explained to the grizzled salesman at the counter. "She's buying it for me as a gift." "Lucky you," he said as he started to write up the order. "My wife got me a length of chain and a cement block." -<>- On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game "Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen always die." -<>- At Sunday school they were teaching how God created every- thing, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later that day his mother noticed him lying down, curled up on the floor as though he were ill. She said, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm gonna have a wife!" ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: >Hell Is Full?? WHAT!!! /)_(\ ______( 0 0 )______ /_/_/_/\` ' `/\_\_\_\ )'_'( ____.""_"".____ |___|___|___|___| |___|___|___| Darn! why am I always |- | the last one to hear about these things... | | / _|_______|_ ___ |___|___|___| / \ |' | || )'__/ | | \(\\ | | _\\__ | | /,_ \--\ | - | ____// \ | \ | | /,-' ` _)/ |\_ | | `` ,o_:) ``` | | . / \ . | | / \ | | | . ( c c ) . | | ( ) \ / ( ) | | ( ) ' | | ' ( ) _|_______|_ _#, . ...,:o o:,.. . ,#_ ,, ,,,|___b'ger___|,,, A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. Then, one student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!" -<>- >Please Be Quite: Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' It worked." -<>- >A Father of Many: A little boy got on the bus and sat next to a man who had his collar on backwards. He asked the man why he wore his collar that way. The man said, "I am a Father" The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that" The man answered, "I am the Father of many" The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren" The priest was annoyed and said, "I am the Father of hundreds" The little boy sat quietly...but on leaving the bus he leaned down and said, "Well, maybe you should wear your pants backwards!" -<>- >What's Gonna Happen To Her? A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits. "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?" "Eventually" said the Doctor, "she will rise and shine!" -<>- .sssssssss. .sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss @@sssssssssssssssssssssss@ss |s@@@@sssssssssssssss@@@@s|s _______|sssss@@@@@sssss@@@@@sssss|s / sssssssss@sssss@sssssssss|s / .------+.ssssssss@sssss@ssssssss.| / / |...sssssss@sss@sssssss...| | | |.......sss@sss@ssss......| | | |..........s@ss@sss.......| | | |...........@ss@..........| \ \ |............ss@..........| \ '------+...........ss@...........| \________ .........................| |.........................| /...........................\ |.............................| |.......................| |...............| >Top 10 Most Brilliant Marketing Mess Ups 1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea." 2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." 3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick." 4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read. 5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine. 6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa). ..--------------------.. |``--------------------''| | | | ,,,;;;;;;,,, | | ,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;, | | ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; | | ;;;;;;;;;''' _ '';;; | | _'''_ _ (_' | ` | | |_) |_ |_) ._) | | | .| |_ | ..... | | :::.. ...::::::::: | | :::::::::::::::::::: | | '::::::::::::::::' | | '''::::::''' | | | | | ';----..............----;' '--------------------' unknown 7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese. 8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate." 9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth." 10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant." -<>- . // /) \ |\ // VK (\\| || \)u| |F /) \```.FF \ \ |J .'/ __ `. `| \ `-'J .'.' ______ __.--' `-. \_ J >. `'.' . _.-' ""`-------' `-.`.`. / )>. /.' .<' .' `-._>--' )\ `--'' F . ('.--'" (_/ '\ \ 'o`. |\ `. J \ | / | \ L \ J ( . | J \ . F _.--'`._ /`. \_) F `. | / "" "' F /\ |_ ___| `-_.' / / F J `--.___.-' F - / / F | L J /| (_ F | L F .'|| L F | | | /J | | J `. | | J | | ____.---.__ |_|______ \ L | F__|_|___.---------' --' `-`--`--.___.-'-'--- >Truth In Packaging: A butcher just out of trade school in Canada applies for and gets a job, skinning and cutting up the kills of local hunters. The first job he gets is to cut up a moose to put in the freezer. He finally gets the moose cut up and is putting it into bags and marking them with the contents: chops, rump steak, ribs, sirloin, etc, etc. When he finishes with the stuff he knows, he is still left with a pile of unidentifiable parts. At a loss as to what to do with them, he finally puts them all into one bag and labels them..........Moosellaneous. -<>- .-. ( ( __ __ '-` ___/ _\.-./_ \ ////|//(@ @) \| //////// \./ | (_) |( _ ) ldb____|______|.m_m_______________________________________ >Missing You Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said. "What an example of true love," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door." -<>- __O______O______O______O______O______O______O______O__ \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ( ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) \ ) _____/______/______/______/______/______/______/______/___ >In My Dreams: Andrew: Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row... Psychiatrist: Hold it, Andrew. That doesn't sound so terrible. Andrew: Oh yeah? In the dream, I was the third girl from the end. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Kids With Dads! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidswithdads.html Recycling Ideas 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/recycling3.html Best Of NatGeo 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestnatgeo4.html Humor With Fishing! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fishinghumor.html Beautiful Photo Winners! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/photowinners.html Only One Job! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onejob4.html Got A Nanosecond 9? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano9.html Truth In Advertising! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ads.html Useless Signs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uselesssigns2.html Sunken Treasure In A Field! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/steamboat.html Thoughts Into Action 12! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action12.html Morons At Work 6! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork6.html Parenting No No's 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting3.html World's Best Dad! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/wbdad.html Full Moms And Dads Index Pages http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/momsanddadsindex.html -<>- SUPERCUT Hilarious Weathermen https://tinyurl.com/yauzrhdd You Can Check In, But You Can’t Check Out – Here’s How Hawaii Is Welcoming Visitors https://tinyurl.com/y96hhheg Hawaii has decided to extend its 14-day quarantine policy for all people who visit the state, the Associated Press reports. https://tinyurl.com/ycodfc2z --- ...WHY Is Hawaii doing this? Easy answer... Hawaii is dominated by the Democratic Party and has supported Democrats in every presidential in which it has participated, except 1972 and 1984, when the incumbent Republican candidates won 49-state landslides. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics_of_Hawaii -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) New School Prayer Poem history https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/the-new-school-prayer/ --- ...Quite interesting! Thanks LouiseAu! Eric Chien, the current world champion for close-up magic, performs some of the most beautiful magic we have ever seen. https://youtu.be/x88RLbi0kzk --- ...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "People have been selling fake parking spaces. They charge people to park in spots that they have no ownership of. Here's a tip to avoid becoming a victim of this fraud. If you find a parking space during the festival, it's a scam." -Jimmy Kimmel "There is a Japanese pop band whose members are all over 80 years old. The band is known for their No. 1 hit song, 'Where Am I?'" -Conan O'Brien "A plane in Holland was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger's body odor was so bad that it caused others to vomit and faint. You know it's bad when people are going into the airplane bathroom for some fresh air." -James Corden "Facebook has announced a new page called 'Memories' that will show users photos from the past. It's better than the original title for the page, 'When You Were Thinner.'" -Seth Meyers "Last week, a 90-year-old letter to Santa Claus was found in a chimney. On the bright side, the 96-year-old who wrote the letter is still alive and finally got that tricycle." -Conan O'Brien "Italian chefs recently set a new world record after making a mile-long pizza that took five ovens and over 11 hours to bake. It got weird when the person who ordered the pizza was like, 'Ooh, I said no pepperoni.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Here's some strange fashion news. According to The New York Times, the monocle is back in style. Unless you're a Batman villain or a giant salted peanut, you should not wear a monocle." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep." -Seth Meyers "In the United Kingdom, a baby's first word was 'Alexa.' The baby's next words were 'Find me new parents.'" -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************