Survivor – Texas Style... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) ================ *`* We Had A Super Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month! ()_()()_() / ..)(.. \ __/ ( || ) \_ (_/ * * (_) | | | || | | | \_/| \__/ | | > \ / <__,--,__|/|_> unknown >Please Share These With All Your Friends.... Classic Woodies! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodcars.html Aww Animals 10! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals10.html Bird Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birdart.html Dusan's Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dusanart.html Optical Illusions! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/optical.html My, How You've Grown! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grown.html , ----. - - ` ,__.,' \ .' *` / | | / **\ . / ****. | mm | ****| \ | ****| ` ._______ \ ****/ \ /`---' \___( /~~~~\ / \ / | \ | | \ , ~~ . |, ~~ . | |\ ( |||| ) ( |||| )(,,,)` ( |||||| )-( |||||| ) | ^ ( |||||| ) ( |||||| ) |'/ ( |||||| )-( |||||| )___,'- ( |||| ) ( |||| ) ` ~~ ' ` ~~ ' * ABUNDANT Blessings And Thanks Through Christ To All Our Contributors! -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hot tottie is from our friend Karen.It is one sure to leave a smile on your face. Check it out here... Legrand's Whimsical Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/legrandart.html --- ...So cute and fun! Love these! Thanks Karen! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: The "Dear John" Letter ________________ |.--------------.| The soldier serving overseas and far from || ,;;;-, || home was annoyed and upset when his girl || /;/))))) || wrote breaking off their engagement and || (;/ . .(( || and asking for her photograph back. || ):( > )) || || (;)\ = /( || He went out and collected from his friends || )):) .'):) || all the unwanted photographs of women that || .:(:\_(_)( || he could find, bundled them all together || /`::) `\ || and sent them to her with a note stating ||/___________\_|| the following: jgs '----------------' "Regret can not remember which one is you ... please keep your photo and return the others." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ June 2 is National Rocky Road Day June 3 is Repeat Day (I said "Repeat Day") June 4 is Hug Your Cat Day June 5 is World Environment Day June 6 is National Gardening Exercise Day and National Yo-Yo Day June 7 is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day June 8 is Best Friends Day and Name Your Poison Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ( ) ( ) |. `_^_' (|||)(| / |,\ ,| |- ' -| |. \_,_/ (|||)(| /___\ ,| ejm >Alarm Clock Since both his parents work a night shift, before my five-year-old grandson, Christian, started kindergarten, he was taught by his mother how to set his alarm clock, how to turn it off, then to wash, dress and go to the kitchen, where breakfast would be ready. One morning, his parents were awakened when the school phoned to say Christian hadn't arrived. They rushed to his room and found him sitting on his bed, fully dressed, watching TV. "Why didn't you wake me?" his mother asked. "Why don't you get an alarm clock, like me?" was his innocent reply. -<>- >Glass Half Full Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist: While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Sincerely, The Opportunist -<>- >In Line at the Checkout Here are the reasons I'd Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time. -- Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle -- there's so much to learn! - I can catch up on my magazine reading without buying any. - I have time to leave my cart in line and run back to get the 13 things on my list I forgot. - I can be one of those annoying cell phone users and catch up on all my phone calls to my insurance agent, mother-in-law, and Auntie Anne. - I can catch a quick catnap now rather than on the drive home. - I can assess what other people have in their carts and get exciting new dinner ideas. - I can finally apply my top coat of nail polish with plenty of drying time. - I can run next door and pick up my dry cleaning. - I can update my coupon organizer and leave the trash in the we-never- open-enough-checkout-lanes store instead of my purse. - I can practice my standup comedy routines on unsuspecting fellow customers. - I can practice some standing yoga poses and then do those isometric muscle-contracting exercises no one else in line is supposed to know you're doing. - I can taste test my package of the newest low-carb, zero-transfat, Splenda-saturated cookies. - I can breathe heavily on my T-bones so they're defrosted in time for dinner and I won't have to leave them out on the driveway in the hot late afternoon sun as I normally do. -<>- >Note for School? Students at the school where I work must sign in and out, and must have a note from a parent if they're late. Signing in at 11:00 one morning, Billy peered across the counter at me. "Morning, Billy, do you have a note?" I asked. "No," he replied. "Where were you?" "At the dentist." "Do you have a dentist card?" "No," he said. Then, taking a deep breath, he added, "but I have these," and shoved a box across the counter. Inside was a set of plaster impressions the dentist had just taken, complete with date and time. -<>- >Peace and Quiet Aunt Karen is the mother of two high-spirited young girls. When I called her one morning, our conversation was constantly interrupted by the din of kids screaming and chasing each other. "Could you hold on for a moment?" my aunt finally asked, putting down the phone. Within 20 seconds all I could hear was absolute silence. Then, "Okay, I'm back." "But it's so quiet!" I exclaimed. "You must have complete control over those two." "Not really," my aunt confessed wearily. "I'm outside in the garage." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ..,;;;;,. .:((()()())):. :(()"'"'""'()): .:()"<*>.<*>"():. :())) ._. (((): (())\ -=- /(()) ___________ .'(()) - (())('. | | / ))\ /(( \ | We Are | ______/ /( \_/ ) \ \______/ Sorry | ________( : )_________| okay? | \____._._____/ |__________| )===[]===( / \ Tim Campbell >SMILES One day a group of daughters-in-law all got together and decided to apologize to their mothers-in-law for everything they had supposedly done wrong. A week later the daughters-in-law decided to take their families (including their mothers-in-law) on a picnic. The mothers-in-law were all in one bus, which was the first to leave. On the way their bus had an accident and all the mothers-in-law died. The daughters-in-law were devastated but one in particular was more heart broken than the rest. Everyone tried to console her by telling her that at least her mother-in-law had died without any tension between them. But still she cried. Eventually when she was calm enough to speak the other women asked her: "Why are you crying so much? Was your mother-in-law that special?" The woman no sobbing uncontrollably replied... "No, she missed the bus!" ------ There was a competition to swim across the English Channel doing only the breaststroke. Three women entered the race, a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 6 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms... -------- A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for her first cleaning and check-up. The hygienist tried to strike up a conversation but got no response. After the cleaning, the dentist was called in to do the final check. The dentist tried to strike up a conversation as well. "How old are you?" No response. The dentist then asked, "Don't you know how old you are?" Immediately four tiny fingers went up. "Oh," replied the dentist, "and do you know how old that is?" Four little fingers went up once again. Continuing the effort to get a response, the dentist asked, "Can you talk?" The solemn little patient looked at him and asked, "Can you count?" ------- The census taker rang the doorbell and was quite surprised when the door was opened by a nude woman. "Don't be alarmed," she said, "I'm a nudist" although somewhat embarrassed, the man proceeded to ask the routine questions. When he asked, "How many children do you have?" the woman replied, "I am mother to eighteen children." "Lady," he gasped, "You're not a nudist, you just don't have time to get dressed!" ------- A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this terrible problem with gas, I can't seem to stop farting. They never smell and are always silent but it's still a problem all the same. Believe it or not I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office." The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts stink terribly!" The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing." ---------- In a department store: Bargain basement upstairs. In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken. Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain? On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work. At an auto repair shop: Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. ------- Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result, they seldom had guests. Johnny was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father, who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size." --------- Little Johnny's dad was a farmer in a poor district of the country. One day his Uncle Abner came to visit. Since there were limited accommodations, he was required to sleep with his young nephew, Little Johnny. When Uncle Abner came into the bedroom, he saw the Little Johnny Kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed. Little Johnny looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?" "Why, the same thing you're doing", replied Uncle Abner. "Ma's gonna be mad", said Little Johnny. "Why will she be mad?" asked Uncle Abner. "Because the bed pan's on this side!" -------- Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night. ------- A young couple are married and celebrating their first night, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again. all night long. Morning comes, and the groom goes into the bathroom, but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to bring him one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opens the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride, so that she can see *all* of him. Her eyes go up and down and at about midway, they stop and stare. Pointing to a small part of his anatomy, she asks, "What's that?" He, also being shy, thinks for a minute and says, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement, asks, "Is that all we have LEFT?" ------- An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff. "Howdy, Stranger." "Howdy, Sheriff." The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of the horse, lifted his tail and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed towards the swing doors of the saloon. "Hold on there, Mister," said the Sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?" "Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips." "And does that cure them?" the Sheriff asked. "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em. ------- "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner." -------- A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died." Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Kenny said, "Okay then, just unload the donkey." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him"? Kenny said, "I'm going to raffle him off." "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" the farmer says. "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead." Kenny said. A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey"? "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00." "Didn't anyone complain"? the farmer asked. "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back." --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseA ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) >Survivor – Texas Style! .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l `-""-' Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor – Texas Style!" The contestants will all start in Dallas, drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, then over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed through Mission, up to Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene and Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas. Each contestant will be driving a pink Prius with 14 bumper stickers which will read: 1. "I'm A Democrat" 2. "Amnesty For Illegals" 3. "I Love The Dixie Chicks" 4. "Boycott Beef" 5. "I Voted For Obama" 6. "George Strait can't sing" 7. "Elect Hillary In 2016" 8. "Vote Eric Holder Texas Governor" 9. "I Love Obama Care and Chuck Schumer" 10. "Al Franken Is My Hero" 11. "I Side With Jane Fonda" 12. "It's Bush's Fault" 13. "Islam Is A Peace-Loving Religion" And the last sticker is… 14. "I'm Here To Confiscate Your Guns" The first contestant to make it back to Dallas alive wins. --- ...LOL! That would be fun to watch! Thanks PatDeE! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From Our Friend Geniann: Why Burger King is leaving Military Bases The Burger King national headquarters announced this month that they will be pulling their franchises from our military bases. Soon to follow will be Popeye's Chicken, Pizza franchises and the chain of barber and beauty shops which operates inside the gates of our military facilities. Reason? Obama's mandate that all companies who do business with the federal government pay a $10.10 per hour minimum wage. Read About it here http://tinyurl.com/l5hb6pt --- ...Why he has to mess with everything is beyond me! Thanks Geniann! Check out what he just signed into law without Congress... The Obama administration took aim at the coal industry on Monday by mandating a 30 percent cut in carbon emissions at fossil fuel-burning power plants by 2030 -- despite claims the regulation will cost nearly a quarter-million jobs a year and force plants across the country to close. http://tinyurl.com/m3co5d3 Irritating because nobody wanted his Cap And Trade so he goes and does it without Congress voting on it! -<>- >From BizarreNews: Everybody who is familiar with babies know they can be fussy. Heck, sometimes even downright ornery, but rarely is it necessary to grenade them. Unless you are a SWAT officer in Georgia. Alecia Phonesavanh said she had been staying with her sister-in-law in Habersham County after her family's home burned down when a SWAT team burst into the home as part of a drug investigation. One of the officers tossed a stun grenade that Phonesavanh said landed in her 19-month-old son's playpen and exploded on his pillow, right in his face, causing serious burns, cuts, and other injuries. Now, there have been a lot of stories in the news lately about the "militarization" of police in this country, but grenading a baby is a little extreme. "He's only a baby," Phonesavanh said, "He didn't deserve any of this." Police said they had a no-knock warrant to arrest a man at that address known to have drugs and weapons. The raid occurred at just before 3 a.m. "There was no clothes, no toys, nothing to indicate that there was children present in the home," Cornelia Police Chief Rick Darby said. "If there had been, then we'd have done something different." However Phonesavanh said, "The cops threw that grenade in the door without looking first, and it landed right in the playpen." Police did not say whether the toddler was being cooperative with police, but Chief Darby did say the officers involved in the raid felt badly about the boy's injuries. So he's got that going for him. The boy has been taken to a burn unit for treatment and placed in a medically induced coma. *-- Slurpees used to treat Oregon man's burns at 7-Eleven in Grants Pass --* GRANTS PASS, Ore. (UPI) - An Oregon man who had been burned with hot oil ran into a 7-Eleven in Grants Pass and used some Hawaiian Punch Slurpees to treat his burns and cool himself off. According to the Grants Pass Daily Courier, the man entered the store while being chased by two other people, one of them possibly armed with a bat. Store clerk Charlie Bentley kept the individuals who were chasing the man out of the store so he could fill his shirt with Slurpee goodness without being disturbed. The man soothed his skin with the icy beverage before being taken to a Medford medical center. An investigation revealed that the chase likely began during a dispute between two neighbors that ended with two people being burned with hot oil. The other burn victim, a woman, did not require medical treatment. *-- A dog pooping twice on a US Airways flight caused it to make an emergency landing --* KANSAS CITY, Miss. (UPI) - A US Airways flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia was forced to make an emergency landing in Kansas City after a service dog started pooping in the aisle and the flight crew was unable to contain the mess. The passengers aboard US Airways Flight 598 could only sit back and watch while a big dog defecated in the aisle not once, but twice. After the dog went to the bathroom for the first time about an hour into the flight, the crew did their best to deal with the mess but they were unable to contain the smell. "An hour later, it still smelled bad, and after they cleaned it all up, it pooped again," Passenger Steve McCall told INSIDE EDITION. "A couple of people started dry-heaving, a couple of people were throwing up." The flight had initially been delayed for two hours because of a fuel spill on the tarmac, so it's quite possible that caused the dog to get a little bit backed up. The dog's owner did apologize. "She said, 'Hey, so sorry, I want to get all your addresses so I can give you a Starbucks gift card,'" McCall said. *-- Python massages are being offered at Cebu City Zoo in the Philippines --* CEBU CITY, Philippines (UPI) - A zoo in the Philippines has started offering visitors the chance to receive a relaxing 15-minute massage from its four Burmese pythons that it currently has in captivity. The Cebu City Zoo's pythons - Michelle, Walter, EJ and Daniel – are supposedly fed 10 or more chickens before giving out the massages so they won't be tempted to snack on the guests. During the "therapeutic and calming" massages, zookeepers keep watch as the snakes slither back and forth across a bamboo bed. Once the snakes are put on, it's virtually impossible to escape because they weigh about 550 pounds combined. "I had to lie on my back on a bamboo daybed in the open air. I was briefed on what to do and what not to do during the massage," volunteer Ian Maclean told the Daily Mail. "These instructions are crucial, as you can imagine. They tell you not to blow air on the snake, because this is like being pinched on the bum, apparently. You can't shout for help as the snake can feel your vibrations and thinks you're prey or a predator, depending on the environment." *-- Man wears pig mask and is arrested for impersonating a police officer --* MANCHESTER, England (UPI) - Greater Manchester Police arrested a man who put on a pig mask, toy helmet and reflective jacket in order to perform "comical parodies" about the behavior of law enforcement officials. New Moston man Steven Peers was arrested on suspicion of impersonating a police officer after he put on the costume to call attention to how GMP officers conducted themselves during anti-fracking protests. The 46-year-old was arrested after being stopped by an officer outside a police station. "My reaction to being arrested was total disbelief. I was wearing a toy hat and a pig mask and was arrested for impersonating a police officer. It's ridiculous," Peers told the Manchester Evening News. "If they want to take it to court they will be a laughingstock because there is no substance to it whatsoever." The father-of-four also had his "Officer 666" outfit confiscated. "I don't think it's antagonistic. It's just a parody making fun of GMP," Peers said. "I've dressed like this at Barton Moss, in front of Swinton police station and in front of the force HQ in Newton Heath. Other officers have laughed it off." ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _________________ / /| / / | /________________/ /| ###| ____ |//| # | / /| |/.| # __|___ / /.| | |_______________ # / / //|| | / /| ___ # / /___// || | / / | / \ \ # /______/! || ||_____|/ / | / \ \ #| . . . ! || || / _________________/ \ \ #| . . ! || // ________ / /\________________ { / } /| . ! ||//~~~~~~/ 0000/ / / / ______________ { / / / | ! |'/ /9 0000/ / / / / / { / / / #\________!___|/ /9 0000/ / / / /_____________/___ / / / # /_____\/ /9 0000/ / / / /_ /\_____________\/ / / # ``^^^^^^ / \ \ . ./ / ____________ / +=#==================================/ \ \ ./ / /. . . \ / / |# | \ \/ / /___________/ / # |_______\__/________________/ | | | | / / | | | | / / | | ________| |/ /________ | | /_______/ \_________/\ | | / / / \ ) | | /OO^^^^^^/ / /^^^^^^^^^OO\) | | / / / | | / / / | | /___\/ |hectoras | oo |____________________________________| My wife, a real estate agent, wrote an ad for a house she was listing. The house had a second-floor suite that could be accessed using a lift chair that slid along the staircase. Quickly describing this feature, she inadvertently made it sound even more attractive: "Mother-in-law suite comes with an electric chair." -<>- A man went into the pet shop, "I am playing Long John Silver in the local amateur dramatic societies version of Treasure Island and need a parrot to sit on my shoulder," he said. "I don't have any parrots at the moment, but you wouldn't want a real parrot for that. It would squawk in all the wrong places, poop on your shoulder and generally be a nuisance. What you need is a stuffed parrot. Just as realistic and easily controlled." "I'm not sure a stuffed parrot would be okay," said the customer. "I do want this performance to be as realistic as possible." "I am sure a stuffed parrot would be fine," said the pet shop owner. "I have one at home. I'll bring it in and if you come back on Thursday you can have it." "Sorry," said the customer, "I can't make it on Thursday. That's the day I'm having my leg cut off." -<>- As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury selection process. First a computer randomly selects a few hundred citizens from the entire county to report for jury duty on a particular day. Then another computer assigns 40 of those present to a courtroom. Then the 40 names are placed into a drum, and a dozen names are pulled. During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he could not be a fair and impartial juror. "There may be," he replied. "Juror No. 12 is my ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee we would not be able to agree on anything." Both were excused. -<>- Woman: "No, I'm telling you, I'm right! He couldn't eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit, and Trix were only supposed to be for kids." Man: "Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person." [A period of silence -- the woman looks down at her food.] Man: "What's wrong?" Woman: "I'm just really getting tired of you always being wrong." -<>- At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single." -<>- A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: _ ///-._ ////////-._ /////////////-. ////////////////`. //////////////// .'`. //////////////// . '.'`. '|`'//////////// . .'.::|` : `'/////// . '.':| | . . `'// ' _|- ::| |. .-._ . | . | .':: | |:|:| | ' ' '.::| | |:|:| :. . .'.':| | . |:|:| . | .._.::: : `':| | ' ////-:| |. . | '/////////-._ | . . : .//////////////-._ : : ///////////////////-._ |. |////////////////////////-._ | . . :`'//////////////////////////-._ | . _.-\\\\``'//////////////////////////-._ | /\\\\\\\\..``'//////////////////////////". : . . /. \\\\\\\\\. .``'///////////////////// .'`. : / _ \\\\\\\\\. ``'//////////////// . .'`. | . / (@) \\\\\\\\\. . . ``'/////////// . '.'::|. {`)._ '| _` .\\\\\\\-`:|#| . . ``'////// '. .'.:| `-{_/`| ||::. \\'`.:|:.|#| |#| . ``'/ ' .##:'::: `-| ||||| |`.'::|::|#| |#| |#| . . '| . .|##|'.:| pils | ||||| : .'::|:.'#| |#| |#| |#| | |##|'::| | ||||| .| .'.:|::.'' '#| |#| |#| . : ' |##|'.:| {`\:|||| : .'::|:_.:. . '#| |#| | .|##|'::: `-{_/'|_ |_.-'/}_/'-._ '#| :. |##:'.:| `'{._('}_)-' `-}_}(-._ . . | ' '` .'::| `-' `-.} /-._ . : .'.'_:-'\ `-}_}(-._ | . _.-')_(-' `-/_)`-.:.-{ \{-' `-{_'_)-'' ^ >CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS 11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. 12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. 13. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes. 14. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child. 15. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. 16. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." 17. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High." 18. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in. 19. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 20. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. -<>- .-""-._ / ___/ \ _&_ _.--""|/ `\| // \\ .' ( ^/ ^ )'. / / \ \ / | _ | \ // / \ \\ | _\____/ | /_/_/_\_\_\ | .' \____/-._ | .-"-. | / `; /# \ | / / _|_.---\ | | |.-.; :--.-(_/.____/.-""\___/"-. / \ / ~~/ /\ \{"=.______.="} /--. ; /___/_~~/ ; .--\"=...__...="} / \-/ `\______|/ \-.______..-; | /`| | \ | |||| || | /_ | |_______/ | |||| || | \_/| |-------' |--'||'--._|| | | | | || |> |______| |____________|._ || _..-;| | [___] | `||() || |______ |\/|____________|jgs|| () (__) \__/ (__) () >EVERYTHING I KNOW I LEARNED IN CORPORATE AMERICA 1. Indecision is the key to flexibility. 2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track. 3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. 4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain. 5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 6. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant. 7. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication. 8. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world. 9. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before. 10. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. 11. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. 12. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. 13. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense. 14. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. And Finally, Some Good Business Advice You'll Never Receive: 15. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 16. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday. 17. Every time you make ends meet, they move the ends. 18. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 19. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Akiane, Child Prodigy http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html Moses Bridge! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mosesbridge.html Canyon Skywalk! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skywalk.html Beautiful Starfish! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/starfish.html Butchart Gardens! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bgardens.html Creation Museum! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/creationmuseum.html Montreal Gardens! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/montreal.html Disney Tree Of Life! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneytree.html Keukenhof Gardens! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kgardens.html God's Spring Paintings http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gspring.html -<>- >From Our Friend Bunni :) She sent us one we have here... Beautiful Rare Flowers http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rareflowers.html --- ...Lots of Oos and Awws here! Thanks Bunni! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) This humorously compares the difference between a man's and woman's brain. https://www.youtube.com/embed/ulP6f9zXtTs?rel=0 --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >Frpm Our Friend melody :) Masculine Moments: http://safeshare.tv/w/GnFzeOCVZF --- ...LMAO! Still Funny! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) The coolest thing I've ever seen a marching band do 2011 West Virginia University Marching Band Armed Forces Salute http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjPmmCtHmfE Illusionists Adam and Selina Murby perform the “Foul Play Illusion” on Australia’s Got Talent. They are a brother and sister act that does a great job of performing this illusion and entertaining the crowd. Daniel Summers designed the “Foul Play” illusion. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Q29mIq0IlDE --- ...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A message in a bottle was found in Russia, 24 years after it was written. Unfortunately, the note said, 'Help! Stranded with enough food for exactly 23 years.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A Minnesota man was arrested for stealing up to $25,000 worth of laundry detergent. Would that be a white-collar crime? Luckily, he made a clean getaway." -Jay Leno "For the first time ever, scientists have created artificial life. The hope is that it can revolutionize healthcare, generate clean energy, become super-intelligent, take over the world, make us all its slaves, etc." -Jimmy Kimmel "A man in Ireland was arrested with more than 500 pounds of marijuana. So I guess there is a little pot at the end of the rainbow." -Jimmy Fallon "Here's a great story: A guy in Alaska goes fishing and he catches a 90-year-old fish, a 90-year-old fish. You know, I look at it this way - if I want a 90-year-old fish, I'll just order the seafood platter at Red Lobster." -Dave Letterman "The Navy tested a high power laser beam to help fight pirates. There's nothing the pirates can do to defend themselves against this laser-unless they buy a mirror." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new study found that students who are taught abstinence end up with better math scores. Of course, if you join the math team the abstinence takes care of itself." -Jimmy Fallon "English farmers are feeding their cattle healthier food to reduce the amount of gas they produce. Farmers also say they won't fall for the old 'pull my hoof' trick." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************