Sweet Miracles And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) I saw this in the news Saturday night... http://tinyurl.com/d29eonc . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' Just goes to show - God is busy working His sweet miracles! -<>- Bunni sent me a little reminder this week about what we have been experiencing since Obama took office here in America. Lately we've had lots of unusual deadly weather on top of all the hard economic times. Many people put aside voting for a Godly President and instead opted for one they felt would give them financial relief. Look what that got us? Our debt has been tripled and we haven't been able to get even half our people back to work with all of Obama's great 'stimulus' plans. * * * * ) (\___/) ( * /( \ (. .) )\ * # ) c\ >' ( # ' )-_/ ' \\|, ____| |__ ,|// \ ) ( ` ~ ) ( / #\ / /| . ' .) \ /# | \ / ) , / \ / | \,/ ;;,,;,; \,/ _,#;,;;,;, /,i;;;,,;#,; (( %;;,;,;;,; )) ;#;,;%;;,, _// ;,;; ,#;, /_) #,; // // \|_ \|_ |#\ |#\ -" b'ger -" I don't believe we are living in the 'beginning of the end' times. If that were the case, I'd not be here and all my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ would not still be here. Christ will come and get us before the end ever begins. Thank God! See... FREE AUDIO CLASS - Book Of Revelations http://tinyurl.com/yzslccp I do, however, believe we live in the Age of Grace meaning we can choose to not put God first, but that freedom often has consequences for our actions. The ones who came out strongest for Obama are the ones now paying the heaviest price and suffering the most for their actions. Our youth are at a staggering 33% unemployed and our blacks are over 14% unemployed while the average is 8.2% unemployed. [at least that's what it was the last time I checked it.] God isn't dishing out the consequences. The devil does that when God isn't first in peoples lives to guide and protect them from evil. Which is why I added Bunni's reminder on today's new page... -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This scorcher comes from our friends KarenF and Bunni. This one is REALLY too hot to handle! It's one of those places I'd not want to be but sure is awesome to see! xl""``""lx X8X::::::X8X X 8X::dX::d8X8 X d:b dX8::d8::dX8Xb d:b dX:bdX8::d8X8::dX8b.d:X:b dX:bdX8::d8X8X8::dX8bd:8:8b X X8bdX8::::X8X8X8::dX8bdX8:8b d:b d8X8X8::d8::X8X8X8::dX8bdX8X8 d:X:bdX8X:::d8X8::X8X8::X::X8bdX8Xb_ d8:8X8X8X::dX8X8::X8X8::X8::db8Xbd8X8b-. .-d8X8X8X8X::dX8X8::X8X8::X8X8::db8X8X8-RG-b-. Nyiragongo Lava Lake http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lavalake.html --- ...Beautiful! Thanks KarenF and Bunni! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Fasten Your Seat Belts And Assume Crash Position Flight seven-oh-niner has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put this baby as gentle as possible down on the water". "Oh stewardess! Are there any sharks in the ocean below?" asks a little old lady, terrified. "Yes, I'm afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a special gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and legs". "And if I do this, the sharks won't eat me?" asks the little lady. "Oh, they will eat you all right, only they won't enjoy it so much". __ o /' ) /' ( , __/' ) .' `; o _.-~~~~' ``---..__ .' ; _.--' b) ``--...____.' .' ( _. )). `-._ < `vvvvvvv-)-.....___.- `-. __...--'-.'. `^^^^^'-------.....`-.___.'----... .' `.; jgs `-` ~~~ ======================================================= +------------ Bizarre July Holidays ------------+ July 9 is National Sugar Cookie Day July 10 is Clerihew Day July 11 is National Cheer Up The Lonely Day July 12 is National Pecan Pie Day July 13 is Fool's Paradise Day July 14 is National Nude Day July 15 is National Tapioca Pudding Day and Respect Canada Day July 16 is International Juggling Day ====================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) >SMILES o \ o `. o o o o \ ` -. .-.-. .---. .-.,-.,-. ..-. / )| | `'____\' o _____\|| ` `' | |-._--.| |----.| | o |o ||-.| ||,-. || | o o | ||_|| |/ oo\ || | | || || C ._)o || | o o| || ||o|\`-/ || | ,. o | ||_|| ,'\,\ || | _\('') | ||o||/\ \ .: o|| | (; .) | || |( \_\||___|| | _,.(|___)-. | o||_|||`-`,\)----' | o o | | ||..|.| o _ |-. _.-. `.-.|._|_.-:|__|_|-.-' `-'.__ o o '--`-` o - SSt WEATHER I just got off the phone with a friend living in northern Quιbec near the Ontario border. She said that early this morning the snow was nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping and is about minus 15 degrees and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in. -<>- Men & Women Mickey's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products she asked, "Darling, honestly what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Mickey replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey, wait a minute!" Mickey interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet." -<>- A fellow kindergarten teacher was giving her class a lesson on using scissors. As she helped one child who was having difficulty, she asked him if he had any scissors at home. He replied, "No, but I do have two brudders!" -<>- The irate customer, calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was. "Madam", said the newspaper employee, "Today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY". There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, .. .---. (_---_) (_/6 6\_) ( v ) `\ /' .-'': ;``-. / \,Y./ \ / (:)___ \ : .-'XXX`-.`\_; `.__.-XXX-.__.'\_ / / XXX \ \ `\_ / XXX \ `\ / XXX \ _`\___ jgs / \ (`--"""-') / \ (=-=-=-=-) `--...___ ___...--' (________) ..."Well, that explains why no one was at church either. --- ...LMAO! Thanks Brenda! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) >Funnies: * * ,,, ____()() } ======= ( \\ \ \\____===. based on a duck by Marvin Bedard ______) ( )\(____ / ___/ \ [%]__ \ //|| // \ ||\\ || ||__^^^ ^^^___|| || ejm97 ||/____\_/----\_/_____\|| | ____________________ || || || || || || || || || || || || || || || A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you talk!" exclaims the bartender. "I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich, please?" "Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the bartender tells him about the incredible talking duck. "Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see me." So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, I lined you up with a top job paying really good money!" "Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus" says the bartender. "The circus?" the duck inquires. "That's right," replies the bartender. "The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck. "That's right!" says the bartender. The duck looks confused and asks: "What the heck do they want with a plasterer?" -<>- Some Really Good Questions 1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it? 2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? 3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?' 4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? 5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice?" How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot? 6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? 7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try? 8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures? 9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear? 10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" 11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? 12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed? 13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? 14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? 15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving! 16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. -<>- ___________________ _-_ \__(==========/_=_/ ____.---'---`---.____ \_ \ \----._________.----/ \ \ / / `-_-' __,--`.`-'..'-_ /____ || `--.____,-' >Signs that the Enterprise is nearing the End of its Warranty Impulse engines stall when used in reverse. Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88". Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays. Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now help up by phone book. Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w". Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room. Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering. Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward. Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS. Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become too steep for crew to climb. Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board. Holodeck becomes caught in an infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears. Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese. Food dispenser in 10-forward will only serve light beer. Bug in main computer speech processor: computer voice will either stutter or talk like Barbara Walters. Untraceable glitch in plumbing periodically replaces water in Wesley's shower with frozen concentrated orange juice. Ship's dryer indiscriminately shreds crew's uniforms, and related problem in fabrication machinery will only produce new clothing with Roger Rabbit caricature prominently displayed. Computer refuses to carry out commands unless captain says "Pretty please with sugar on it". Replacement parts for automatic door to captain's ready room are exhausted and door must be replaced with bead curtains. Saucer section separates whenever ship makes left turn. -<>- ___ (___) /` `\ / /"\ \ \_/o o\_/ ( _ ) `\ /` /\\V//\ / /_ _\ \ \ \___/ / \/===\/ || || || || ||___|| |_____| jgs ||| / Y \ `"`"` >Selling Vacuum Cleaners A little old woman answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners. "Go away!" said the old woman. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." In addition, with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder." The old woman stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a darned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning." -<>- >Quote of Wisdom "One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the Earth, or just an imaginary one. I had to laugh. Laugh and laugh. Because I didn't know, and I thought that maybe by laughing he would forget what he asked me." --Jack Handy -<>- (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro >In Uniform My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and dressed in olive drab fatigues, he stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things. While in line at the check out counter, he noticed a little boy standing with his Mother. The boy took one look at my husband in his uniform, and his eyes grew wide. My husband in turn gave the young man a crisp salute. The boy was so excited. He pointed at my husband and announced," LOOK, MOM, A GIANT BOY SCOUT." --- ...LOL! Lots of goodies here! Thanks Bunni! ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From TeaPartyEconomist: The Idiot Politician Who Made Me Rich http://tinyurl.com/7sdm9ms -<>- >From FreedomPost: Texas Rejects ObamaCare - Refuses to Implement http://tinyurl.com/7mezcny -<> >From PatriotUpdate: Is Mitt Romney Clock-Blocking Obama? http://tinyurl.com/ckufrdc -<>- >From GodfatherPolitics: Barack Obama is not a Real Black President http://tinyurl.com/c2mto44 -<>- >From BizarreNews: It's hot. We all understand that. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reported that more than 2,000 temperature records have been matched or broken in the past week. But that still doesn't justify violence, especially against your air conditioning repair man. Repairman Sean Hickman had gone to the home of Deltona, Florida resident Stan Nguyen to repair a unit. When Hickman began explaining what was wrong with the unit to Nguyen, the homeowner became angry and refused to pay. Hickman said he attempted to give Nguyen an invoice for the work; at that point Nguyen pulled out a gun and pointed it at the ground, attempting to fire the weapon. Fortunately, the weapon's safety was on and it did not fire. But then Nguyen removed the safety and that's when Hickman took cover behind his van. Hickman called for help and said Nguyen was pointing the gun in his direction and threatening to shoot him if he tried to leave. Well, people get touchy about their air conditioning when it is a hundred degrees outside. No one got shot in this instance. Nguyen was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. The AC unit still isn't working. *-- Man allegedly stole $755 worth of melons --* HOKOTA, Japan - Police in Japan said they arrested a 69-year-old man accused of stealing $755 worth of melons from a farm. Police said a CCTV camera recorded the man entering a greenhouse at the Hokota, Ibaraki Prefecture, farm twice June 26 to steal the 30 valuable melons, Japan Today reported Monday. Investigators said they are looking into whether the man stole fruit from any other farms after 79 melons were recovered from his home. *-- Young men gather through 'Pony' fandom --* PITTSBURGH - A Pittsburgh group comprised mostly of young men has been meeting weekly to discuss and debate their favorite TV show, "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." Organizers of the PittsBronies group, which includes 124 people who identify themselves as bronies -- a combination of "bro" and "pony" -- said their group is about 63 percent male and about 62 percent between the ages of 18 and 24, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported Monday. John Drake, 24, a doctoral computer science student at University of Pennsylvania, said the group held its first meeting last December and members now meet on a nearly weekly basis to debate their favorite episodes and the best characters on the show. Edward Garbade, 19, a friend of Drake who found- ed the CMU Bronies group at Pittsburgh's Carnegie Mellon University, said bronies will admit the show was created for young girls, but it has a higher entertainment value than previous installments in the "My Little Pony" franchise. "The show teaches lessons about friendship and being nice to others, a message from childhood that seems to be forgotten unfortunately often in today's culture," Garbade said. "The characters have distinct personalities, engaging back stories and remain consistent from episode to episode." Both men said they will be in Secaucus, N.J., this weekend for BronyCon Summer 2012, which organizers said it expected to draw about 2,000 fans and will feature show creator Lauren Faust and voice actors as special guests. -- Geographers map 7 deadly sins in U.S. ----------- LAS VEGAS - Geographers have mapped the sinfulness of the United States, attempting to come up with numbers for each of the seven deadly sins. Thomas Vought and colleagues at Kansas State University devised indexes for sloth, gluttony, lust, greed, wrath, envy and pride, The Las Vegas Sun reported. Sloth was based on spending per capita on arts and entertainment compared to the employment rate; gluttony on fast-food outlets per capita; lust on rates of sexually transmitted disease; greed on average incomes compared to the number of people living below the poverty line; wrath on violent crimes per capita; and envy on property crimes. The researchers decided that pride is the master sin and therefore merged the rates of the lesser sins. Vought presented the findings at the American Geographers' meeting Tuesday in Las Vegas, a city some- times regarded as the sin capital of the United States. The researchers said the Las Vegas area, Clark County, beats the rest of Nevada in most sins but ranks third behind southern gambling centers like Biloxi, Miss., in pride. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ,-. O / `. <\/ `. |* `. / \ `. / / `>')3s, --------. ,' apc / 7 The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends-- generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by. Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. "Well," he replied, "you better start thinking about it. You'll be thirty before you know it." "But I'm closer to twenty than to thirty," I protested. "I won't be thirty for eight more years." "I see," he said, smiling. "And when will you be twenty again?" -<>- My wife and I were going through a rough patch financially, but we kept ourselves same by repeating, "As long as we have each other, we don't need anything else." But when the television in our bedroom broke and we couldn't afford to repair or replace it, my wife lost it. "That's just great!" she shouted. "Now there's no entertain- ment in our bedroom at all!" -<>- A young man was applying for a job in a big company. "I'm sorry," said the personnel manager, "but the firm is overstaffed; we have more employees now than we really need." "That's all right," replied the young man, undiscouraged, "the little bit of work I do won't be noticed anyway." -<>- ,-----------. | | | | | ABS Share | | | _| | (_/_____(*)___/ My broker called me this morning and said, "Remember that stock we bought and I said you'd be able to retire at age 65?" "Yes, I remember," I said. "Well," my broker continued, "your retirement age is now 108." -<>- An anthropologist shows off his priceless trove of treasure to his saintly grandmother. "What's that?" she asks, pointing to an oddly shaped item. "Uh..." stammers the anthropologist, "it's a phallic symbol." "Oh," says his grandmother, nodding her head. "That's good, 'cause I hate to tell you what it looks like." -<>- On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet. "I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old," I said to my husband, hoping he'd take the hint and buy me some clothes as a present. "Or," he offered instead, "it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old." -<>- ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw After many years of trying, the Russian family was finally able to bring grandpa to America to live with them. The old gentleman could only speak Russian. Each day when the family members were at work grandpa would spend his time in the park, walking, watching the children play and feed the ducks a few crumbs he brought along. So that he would be able to get a little something to eat they taught him to say, "apple pie, coffee." Each day he would go into the nearby deli, climb on a stool and say to the counterman, "Apple pie, coffee." This worked well for him until one day he decided that he just couldn't take another piece of apple pie. So the family taught him to say, "Ham sandwich, coke." He went to the park the next day looking forward to being able to order a ham sandwich in stead of apple pie. Smiling to himself he climbed onto the stool at the counter and waited his turn. When the counterman asked for his order he proudly said, "Ham sandwich, coke." To which the counterman asked, "White or rye?" The old man replied, "Um, apple pie, coffee." -<>- I was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at engineering university. I used to work repairing construction equipment. One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it I started heating the nut with an oxy-acetylene torch. As I was doing this, one of the dimmest apprentices I have ever known came along. He asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained that if I heated the nut it would grow larger and release its grip on the bolt so I could then remove it. "So things get larger when they get hot, do they?" he asked. Suddenly, an idea flashed into my mind. "Yes," I said, "that's why days are longer in summer and shorter in winter." There was a long pause, then his face cleared. "You know, I always wondered about that," he said. ========================================================== >-->From TheMouth: ,%/7\\` (/// .\\) (((( - ))) ((|)_*_/((( ))(/) (\((|) ((((\___/))(\ / ,-) (-. \ ( ( ( _ _ ) ) ) \ \ )^ ^ ^( / / ) y y ( \( )/ \_______/ \ / / y / ( ' \ \ \ y-._ hjw |\,' X-' _,T-) / (__,-%_/ ** Top Ten Questions NOT to Ask Your First Date ** 10. "What size bra you got there?" 9. "The voices in my head want to know if you're trying to kill us?" 8. "More prune juice, my sweet?" 7. "Would you mind if we skipped supper and just pigged out on popcorn at the theatre?" 6. "So... does the sight of blood scare you?" 5. "Do you mind if I floss?" 4. "Well, now that you know all about my maggot farm, do you collect anything?" 3. "Would you mind if I pinched that zit of yours cause it's really bothering me?" 2. "Why did you text me instead of just calling?" 1. "Are we gonna kiss later on? Because I've been practicing with my dog and I think I'm getting pretty good at it now." -<>- _____ / \ / ````` \ /|`o o'|\ /|| . ||\ |*\\ _ //*| |*/ \ / \*| // / \ \\ /(__/\___/\__)\ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |\ /| | / // \| | / // | | / / | | | /___\ | |___\ / / | | | / \ | / \ //^`, | | | // | |~~ | | >RULES OF THE OFFICE **If it rings, put it on hold; **If it clanks, call the repairman; **If it whistles, ignore it; **If it's a friend, take a break; **If it's the boss, look busy; **If it talks, take notes; **If it's handwritten, type it; **If it's typed, copy it; **If it's copied, file it; **If it's Friday, forget it! -<>- ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy >A teenager is: * A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. * A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast. * A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday. * Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room. * A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed. * A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver's license. * A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music--loud and very loud. * An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes. * A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother. * A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week. * A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off. * A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing. * An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager. ============================================================ >-->From JokeCentral: .======================================. | ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ | | \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| | | _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| | '===================================== ,sSSSs DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "( .:. SSS@ =/ \~/ C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_ ___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.- [____________________________________] \ /\// | ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/ | (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ; | | | | | | | | | | |____| | | | | | | | | | | \ |\ | | | | | | | | | | ) ) ) | |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/ | I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ | jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\ Y\_\ >APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Name of Boyfriend/Fiancι/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period: Time of return Date: Time of departure: NOT to exceed: Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancι/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever. Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total Locations to be visited Females with whom conversation is permitted IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship. I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a Robbie Williams concert, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit. I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct. Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancι/Husband: Request is: APPROVED DENIED This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times. "…………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Permission for my boyfriend/fiancι/husband to be away for the following period of time: Date: Time of departure: Time of return: Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancι/Wife: -<>- >Math Test Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274" was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday", replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine", says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday." -<>- __ __ _/ _\/ \_ _/ _/ /]\ \ / // /_] \ \ ( /( ([_] / ) \ | \ )_]( / \| \/[_] \ | . ,-. ,--.,--. . | \ /,-. ,--,-- ' [_] `' /_\ |__)| || /_\ | V |__)|_ |__ [_] / \| `--'`--'/ \'--- | | __)|__ [_] ,. |,--.| | | [_] | \ || ||,^.| | [_] | \|`--'' ' . [_] [_] SSt >You Know You're Having a Bad Day When... Your twin sister forgets your birthday. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold. You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning. Your income tax refund check bounces. It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture. You wake up with your braces stuck together. You put both contacts into the same eye. Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate. You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your MasterCard. Nothing you own is actually paid for. The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker. When the doctor tells you are in fine health for someone twice your age. You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch. You open your briefcase for the big meeting and find nothing in it but your 5 year cold's coloring pages. You are actually looking forward to sitting down and enjoying the junk e-mail sent to you. You look into the car you just locked and notice the keys hanging in the ignition. Your secretary tells you that a film crew from "60 Minutes" is waiting in your office. You call your voice mail for messages and they're from your Doctor, your mechanic, and the IRS ================================================================ >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Longleats's Monkey Shines http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monkeyshines.html Texas Rules Of Etiquette! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/texas.htm Value What You Have! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/valuewyh.html Crayola Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/crayolaart.html Pencil Head Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pencilart.html All Occasion Cars! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/allcar.html Luxury Golf Carts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfcarts.html Chinese Olympic Cuisine! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/olympic.html In The Pink! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/inthepink.html Koala's In A Heatwave 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/koalas2.html Lenticular Clouds Or UFO! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ufo.html Maxine On The Economy! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineeconomy.html Why God Gave Us Puppies! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whypuppies.html -<>- >From Our Friend KarenF :) She sent us one we have here... At The Car Wash http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carwash.html --- ...Such an amazing reminder! Thanks KarenF! -<>- >From Our Friend Bunni :) Horse Slaughter Sides Agree on Food Safety Problem http://tinyurl.com/6r6phgt --- ...Thanks for the info Bunni! -<>- >From our Friend PatDeE :) He sent us one we have here... Attitude Is Everything 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude4.html --- ...such an inspiring one! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- That'll teach him! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzXM58qR1Es --- ...LOL! Thanks PaTDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Repent America Repent! http://www.laughandlift.com/personalarticles/repentamerica.html --- ...(Boy and I thought I was wordy!) Great reading! Thanks Wesley! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A woman here in New York claims that her blind date stole her iPhone and her wallet. She was like, 'I have to get that iPhone back 'I mean, what if he calls?'" -Jimmy Fallon "'Titanic' is being re-released in 3-D, and they tried to update it a little bit to play to the younger crowd. In the new version, the captain hits the iceberg because he's texting." -Jay Leno "This week a man wearing a Batman costume was pulled over while driving a Lamborghini. I think the real story here is that a grown man who owns a Batman costume can actually afford a Lamborghini." -Jimmy Fallon "Alicia Silverstone is making news for feeding her son by chewing his food and then passing it into his mouth. Even birds are like, 'Just buy him some Gerber, you weirdo!'" -Jimmy Fallon "A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it's easier to see what is coming when you're driving at 11 miles an hour." -Conan O'Brien "A helping word to one in trouble is like a switch in a railroad track...an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity." -Henry Ward Beecher "All animals, except man, know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it." -Samuel Butler "I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place." - Steven Wright "She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon." - Groucho Marx "All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable, those who are movable; and those who move." -Benjamin Franklin >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************