Tell Us Your Age And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This one from our friends Karen and Desi is still smoking hot! It is one that is sure to bring you smiles for your day. Check it out here... ____ .-. .-"` `",( __\_ .-==:;-._ .' .-. `'. .' `"-:'-/ ( \} -=a .) / \/ \,== `- __..-'` '-' | | | .'\ `; \ _/---'\ ( `"` /.`._ ) \ `; \`-/.' `"` `"\`-. jgs `"` Church Mouse Wisdom http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/churchmouse.html --- ...Aww, so sweet! Thank You Karen And Desi! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Tell Us Your Age ____________________________ / //======================/`"-._ | ||======================| D A census taker knocked jgs \___\\====___===______==____\__.-" on a lady's door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked. "Certainly." he replied "Well, I'm the same age as they are." she snapped. "As old as the Hills," he wrote on his form. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ March 30 is I am in Control Day And Take a Walk in the Park Day March 31 is Bunsen Burner Day and National Clam on the Half Shell Day April 1 is April Fool's Day and International Fun at Work Day April 2 is Children's Book Day and Reconciliation Day April 3 is Good Friday and Tweed Day April 4 is Hug a Newsman Day and Walk Around Things Day April 5 is Easter and Go for Broke Day ======================================================= .-. .-. / \ / \ | _ \ / _ | ; | \ \ / / | ; \ \ \ \_.._/ / / / '. '.;' ';,' .' './ _ _ \.' .' a __ a '. '--./ _, \/ ,_ \.--' ----| \ /\ / |---- .--'\ '-' '-' /'--. _>.__ -- _.- `; .' _ __/ _/ / '.,:".-\ /:, | \.' `""`'.\\ '-,.__/ _ .-. ;|_ /` `|| _/ `\/_ \_|| `\ | ||/ \-./` \ / || | \ ||__/__|___|__|| / \_ |_Happy Easter_| / jgs .' \ = _= _ = _= /`\ / `-;----=--;--' \ \ _.-' '. / `""` `""` >-->Easter Riddles Q: Is it true that bunnies have good eye sight? A: Well you never see a bunny wearing glasses, do you? Q: What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit? A: Cheer up! Q: Why did the farmer feed crayons to his chickens? A: He wanted them to lay colored eggs! Q: What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A: Hot cross bunnies! Q: How does the Easter Bunny stay fit? A: EGG-xercise and HARE-robics! Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around? A: Hoppy Easter! Q: Why was the rabbit rubbing his head? A: Because he had an eggache! (Headache) Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a crazy rabbit? A: One is bad money, the other is a mad bunny! Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing at you. Q: Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered? A: Because he is eggocentric. Q: How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket? A: Only one – after that it’s not empty any more! Q: How did the Easter Bunny rate the Easter parade? A: He said it was eggs-cellent! Q: What is a dog's favorite Easter treat? A: Jelly bones! Q: Why are people always tired in April? A: Because they've just finished a March Q: What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? A: 14 carrot gold. Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A: Bugs Bunny. Q: What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket? A: Colored scrambled eggs! Q: How do you catch the Easter Bunny? A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot! Q: What did one colored egg say to the other? A: Heard any good yolks lately? Q: What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? A: Join the Hare Force. Q: What's the difference between the Easter Bunny and a lumberjack? A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops. Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? A: With a hare-dryer! ======================================================== >-->From GoodCleanFun: ,_ ,_ (\/) _, _, | '. '. \/ .' .' | \ \ \ / / / '.__\_|_ _|_/__.' /` '. .' `\ / ^ ) ( ^ \ / __.' '.__ \ .' (_ _) '. .' \'-._ _.-'/ '. / '.__)(__.' \ ; .-. '. .' .-. ; /`| / '._)(_.' \ |`\ | \ /--. .--\ / | '--'\ '-.__) (__.-' /'--' jgs )_____) (______( >Gender Signs Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurant restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped. Recently my husband wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus." Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by. "Excuse me. I need to use the restroom," he said. Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, "Which one should I use?" "Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men." "Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms." -<>- >Loose Tooth I was leaving for a two-day conference, and my seven-year-old daughter was becoming overly clinging and teary. I was mystified at her emotional reaction until I heard her say to my husband, "Daddy, I have a loose tooth. If it falls out while Mommy is gone, do you know how to handle this tooth fairy thing?" -<>- >New Car Smell We recently bought a new car. I can remember the days when we would get in and take a deep breath and enjoy the new car smell. Wishing it came in a spray mist so you could enjoy it forever. But a little knowledge takes the joy out of even that, now all we could think of was the offgasing coming from the various plastics, upholstery, and glues holding it together. I guess awareness is progress, but it sure does ruin the mood. -<>- >Popping Ears Aboard a flight from Los Angeles to New York, an elderly lady was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when she complained to the flight attendant that her ears were popping. The attendant smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort. When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the flight attendant. "The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "but tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?" -<>- >Speeding Judges Two judges, both from small counties, got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other's case. The first judge took the bench while the second stood at the defendant's table, and admitted his guilt. The sentencing judge immediately suspended both the fine and costs. They switched places. The second judge admitted that he was speeding, too. Thereupon the first judge immediately fined him $250 and ordered him to pay court costs. The second judge was furious. "I suspended your fine and costs, but you threw the book at me!" he fumed. The first judge looked at him and replied, "This is the second such case we've had in here today. Someone has to get tough about all this speeding!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend gh0striders :) ,_ ,_ __ | '. '. / `\ \ \ \ | ) '.__\_|_ _.=====.\ _/_ /` '. ,;' )(_) `'. / ^ ) // (( '._ \ / __.' || .--. `) ||\__/ .' (_ || .-; `\__ || .' \'-._||_/ ;-./` '|| / '.__)| './ \.--.|| ; .-. '.|\____|___/____/| /`| / '._)=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=| | \ /--. ;#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#; '--'\ '-.__) \#=#=#=#=#=#=#/ jgs )_____) \#=#=#=#=#=#/ `"""""""""` >Catholic Heart Attack You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!!! A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank." "Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God." The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law --- ...HaHa! Thanks gh0striders! -<>- /`\ /`\ (/\ \-/ /\) )6 6( >{= Y =}< /'-^-'\ (_)""-(_). /* ((* *'. | *)) * *\ | * ((* * / \ *)) * .' jgs '-.((*_.-' >Good Friends: At least I agree with most of this. "Good friends are like quilts-they age with you, yet never lose their warmth." I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s, 60s & 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, I remember the important things. Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it). MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! --- ...Amen! Thanks gh0striders! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) __ __ /`_ \ / _`\ |':\ \ / /:'| \':\ \ / /:'/ \':\ \ / /:'/ \':\ \ / /:'/ \ `\ \/ /` / > < / \ .' '. / 0 __ 0 \ >| _ \/ _ |< \ \ / / '._ '----' _.' /` '. __ .' `\ | |-. `| | _\_(_(_/ \/\_)_)_/_ / ` /\__/`\__/`\_\ ` \ | / () (\ | | ; (), , () , ; | ; | /^\ /^\ /^\ | ; \|\/ \/ \/ \|/ | /`\ /`\ /`\ | ;\/ \/ \/ ()\; jgs _\ () /_ _.-'` '._ () _.' `'-._ /` .'` ``""""`` `'. `\ \_(_(,'` `'.)_)_/ >SMILES Before she died, an old lady wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors. She went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport. "You must take the loyalty oath first," the passport clerk said. "Raise your right hand, please." The senior citizen raised her right hand as the clerk asked, "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, domestic or foreign?" The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, "Well, I guess so, but ... will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?" -------- My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely, And so does my lawn. I think I might never Put my glasses back on. -------- There's a dropout named Bobby and a super genius named Greg sitting on a bench waiting on a bus. The genius gets bored, leans over to the dropout and says, "Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you have to give me five bucks. If you ask me a question and I don't know the answer I have to give you 50 bucks." The dropout says, "Alright, man." The genius asks the dropout, "What is the Pythagorian Theory?" The dropout replies, "I don't know." and hands the genius five bucks. "Okay," the dropout says, "What has three legs going up a hill and four legs going down?" The genius thinks real hard and finally gives up. He hands the dropout 50 bucks then asks, "So, what is the answer?" The dropout says, "I don't know." and hands the genius five bucks. -------- One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns. Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him, and him, and him." --------- Ralph and Charlie were a couple of Newfie drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Gander, NL. One day, the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Ralph said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Charlie says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" They pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning Ralph wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Charlie. Charlie asks, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" "I feel great. How about you?" Charlie tells him, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Ralph answers, "Nope, that jet fuel is great stuff; no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often." Charlie says, "Yeah, well there's just one thing.... Have you farted yet?" "No...." "Well, DON'T. I'm in New York City!" -------- A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" -------- A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," she said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette." --------- Before our daughter went off to college, our family took a vacation in Colorado, flying to Denver and renting a car. We visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more than 1,000 feet above the Arkansas River. Walking out onto the bridge, I noticed it swayed in the wind. Then a car went past us, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath my feet. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," I finally said. "What are you worried about?" our blonde daughter replied. "It's just a rental." --------- "I just hope it's not Alzheimer's," confessed the gentleman to his doctor. "Maybe there's some kind of memory medicine you can give me. See, I'm getting terribly forgetful; I lose track of where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do when I get there. What should I do?" he asked glumly. "Pay me in advance," the doctor said. -------- Little Nancy wailed over her doll, crushed by car tires when her mother had backed over it. Finally, her mother had heard enough, "Don't come crying to me. I told you not to leave it on the porch!" -------- Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, "Why?" She replied, "So you can help me save the planet." I chuckled again and asked, "And why do you want to save the planet?" "Because that's where I keep all my stuff," she said. -------- One day, my husband announced to the family that he was going to fast and pray. Ginny, our 5-year-old, had recently learned that fasting meant not eating. "No!" she shouted. "You can't fast! You'll die!" Her dad carefully explained that many men and women fasted in Bible times. Ginny paused a moment. Then, with a flash of insight and a note of warning, she proved her point. "And they all died," she said. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: Agriculture in the United States really started to change in the 1990s. That was when big agribusiness really started to take over and began to introduce genetically engineered food proteins and hormones. Some engineered foods are designed to yield bigger crops, some are designed to withstand increasing doses of weed killer. This has the nice, little ancillary benefit of promoting increased sales of weed killer. And I'll give you one good guess as to who the biggest producer of that stuff is. Now, you might think that all of this genetically engineered food is carefully tested and regulated. Nope. The attitude of the United States is that what you don't know can't hurt you. The rest of the world doesn't feel that way. In fact, most genetically engineered foods, proteins and hormones are illegal in most of the rest of the world. Stupid foreigners. On the other hand; incidences of cancer in the United States has increased dramatically in the last 20 years or so, for some mysterious reason. In fact, the U.S. now has the highest rates of cancer of any country in the world. According to the American Cancer Society, migration studies show that if you were to move to the U.S. from someplace like Japan your likelihood of developing cancer increases four-fold! In fact, one out of two American men and one out of three women are expected to get cancer in their lifetime. Stupid foreigners. But that still doesn't keep big agribusiness from pushing their poisons in the rest of the world. Not that it is working all that well. Recently a jerk-off American lobbyist for agri-giant Monsanto was claiming on a French television show that their weed killer Roundup was so safe for humans that a person could "drink a whole quart of it and it won't hurt you." "You want to drink some?" the interviewer asked. "I'd be happy to, actually," the American replied. "If you say so," the interviewer says, "I have some." To which the lobbyist quickly answered, "I'm not stupid." At which point he got up and walked out on the interview. I guess he meant a French person could drink a whole quart of it, not real people. I mean, if they can handle all of that wine and cigarettes a little Roundup should be no problem. Stupid foreigners. --- ...Reminds me of this in the news: Approved -- Potatoes won't bruise, apples won't brown http://tinyurl.com/p8sbqh3 Scary! Also reminds me of the scare of McDonald's food not rotting - they actually had to come out and a sure people it does rot! McDonald's is Proudly Advertising That Their Food Does Actually Decay http://tinyurl.com/pf52s29 Makes ya wonder what the world is coming to? An Easy answer of course is - an end. LOL! :) *-- Australian woman accused of squirting breast milk on police officer --* FREMANTLE, Australia (UPI) - An Australian woman was denied bail after she allegedly squirted breast milk on a police officer's head, arms and clothes. Authorities said Erica Leeder, 26, of Calista, Western Australia, was being searched Tuesday at the Fremantle police station after being arrested on an unspecified warrant. Police said Leeder, who was nude from the waist up during the search, grabbed her own breast and squirted milk onto the forehead, arms and clothes of the female officer conducting the search. Leeder appeared Wednesday in Fremantle Magistrate's Court on a charge of assaulting a public officer. She was denied bail and ordered to undergo a mental health evaluation prior to her next court appearance March 31. The magistrate said a previous conviction for assaulting a police officer factored into the decision to deny bail. The Western Australia Police Union said the assault charge from Tuesday's incident was partially due to the possibility of spreading disease from the breast milk. *-- Australian disability conference not wheelchair accessible --* MELBOURNE (UPI) - Activists are criticizing the National Disability Summit in Australia after a speaker had to be carried on stage because the venue wasn't wheelchair accessible. Jarrod Marrinon, who attended the conference organized by Informa Australia in Melbourne last week, tweeted a picture showing Deborah Haygarth, a speaker at the event, being carried off the stage because the venue was not wheelchair accessible. "This is a disabled speaker carried off stage. No ramps. #shame," he tweeted. Marrinon took another photo showing the disabled restroom at the conference was out of use because it was being used to store extra chairs. Jax Jacki Brown, a disabled rights activist who also attended the conference, said only seven disabled people and their five carers were invited to participate in the conference, which had a total 133 attendees. "I feel like I was actively excluded when they realized I was a person with a disability wanting to attend, and I also feel rather annoyed that they said that they were going to give the remaining tickets to people with disabilities so that more than 12 people with disabilities could attend," Brown told 9News. "But that never eventuated." "They positioned us at special little tables away from where everyone else was sitting ... way off to the right and the left further up the back of the room," Brown said. "It really created this feeling that people with disabilities weren't part of the bigger conference and the bigger discussion." Brown said in a blog post that there were other accessibility issues at the event. "The food provided was up on really tall tables... wheelchair users could not access it," she said. Susan Ryan, disability discrimination commissioner at the Australian Human Rights Commission, said on Twitter the organizers of the event have been contacted "regarding the accessibility issues." *-- CCTV catches restaurant fraudster releasing rat --* SUNDERLAND, England (UPI) - Security camera footage from a British restaurant recorded the moment a man set his pet rat on the ground in an attempt to scam a free meal. Christopher Baker, 28, pleaded guilty in Sunderland Magistrates' Court to a charge of fraud by false representation after he released his pet rat at the Borneo Bistro in Sunderland, England, on Valentine's Day and demanded a refund for his meal. Kevin Smith, the restaurant's owner, said he reviewed security footage after noticing the black and white rat seemed suspiciously clean and tame. "Mr. Smith perhaps smelled a rat at this particular point and he retrieved the rat from the floor. It was a black and white rat, very calm. It did not appear to be wild at all. Acorn Pest Control attended and they said it appeared to be a pet," prosecutor Lee Poppett said. "Mr. Smith viewed the CCTV and saw the defendant fiddling in his pocket. He waited until a family moved from the table next to him and retrieved what appeared to be a rat from his pocket and dropped it on the floor. He then jumped out of his seat." The court heard Baker later told police the rat was a gift for his daughter and had bitten his finger and escaped his pocket accidentally. Smith had harsh words for Baker after the trial. "He is just the scum of the earth," Smith told the Sunderland Echo. "He could have destroyed the reputation I have built up over seven years. I was devastated. I thought 'that's it my business is gone.' I didn't sleep that night." "People like him deserve the death penalty. As far as I'm concerned, he shouldn't be in our society," Smith said. "He is no use to anybody and he's caused nothing but grief. I find it unbelievable that someone could be willing to go to those lengths for a free meal." *-- Man says tattoo of ex-girlfriend's name, "ISIS," got him fired from Home Depot --* NEW YORK (UPI) - A former Home Depot employee says the company fired him over a tattoo of his ex-girlfriend's name -- "Isis," a name derived from a fabled Egyptian goddess. The letters of the inner-lip tattoo are written in capitalized form -- "ISIS" -- giving it the exact spelling of an acronym used to reference the Islamic State, also known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, a terrorist army of Sunni Muslim extremists who seized large swaths of land last year and publicized several beheadings of Westerners. "I honestly didn't know what the acronym meant until just recently," Kirk Soccorsco told CNN affiliate News 12 Long Island. While working as a Home Depot tool demonstrator in Patchogue, N.Y., Soccorsco said, he overheard the term during a conversation and showed his tattoo to a co-worker. Home Depot and the Florida marketing firm that paid Soccorsco fired him soon after. Soccorsco said both entities told him not to return to the store. Home Depot spokesman Stephen Holmes told News 12 that the termination was "a personnel matter and the decision wasn't just based on the tattoo." Soccorsco contends that he is not a terrorist and that he got the tattoo four years ago. He said he is no longer with the woman whose name is depicted. "I feel a little lost," he said. "It was a good-paying job." Soccorsco is reportedly considering legal action against Home Depot. --- ...Probably doesn't have a case unless he claims he is gay. Then Home Depot couldn't fire him over his choice of a life partner. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Nancy :) \ / \\ // _______ )\-/( (M==M=M=)/e e\ .-'"-\=N==N/( =Y= ) .-'(___.-'\M=M/ /`---'\ (______(____)=(_/ /___\ \_ (M==M=M==M=M==M'''M=M=```M) \=N=N==N=N==N=N==N=N==N=/ \M==M=M==M=M==M==M==M=/ \N=N==N=N==N=N==N=N=/ jgs \M==M==M=M==M=M==M/ `---------------' There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning: People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning, but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look UP the word in the dictionary. In a desk size dictionary, UP takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about thirty. If you are UP to it, you might try building a UP list, a list of the many ways UP is used It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, Fess UP...you like this! One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP so I'll just shut UP. --- ...LOL! Thanks Nancy! ================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: __ __ | _'-._ _.-'_ | | '::. '. .' .::' | \ '::\ \ / /::' / \ ':\ | | /:' / '._ ` '---' ` _.' ) __ __ ( / / \ / \ \ / \_0/ \0_/ \ =/ .-. \= =| .' \_/ '. |= =\ ' | ' /= {}._ '.__ `--'--` __.' {}{}-'=._ /` \_______/ `\ >{}={}_-=_`=.,==,=| /==,==,=\ |.,_ {}~-{}~{}"-=-/ / /\,,,/ / / \,,,// /`"=._ {}<{}-{}-_=-"; ; _; _ ; ; ; ; ; _; _: / /`;=,__, {}{}={}->"-_~-; |_/ \| \| | | | |/ |/ \_ ; : ; _,=' {}{}"<{}{_=="; / \()()|; ; ; ; ;|()()/ \ \ _;="` {}{}{}>=-_.=\ \() _ | \ \ \ \ | ()/="` {}jgs{}-` `=\ / `\|==`==`==`==`=|/` \ / {}{} \\ || || // \'-'/ \'-'/ `"` `"` I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by, and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch. "You're going to lose the contents of your briefcase," I warned him. Just then the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, "How on earth did you do that?" -<>- While on leave, my Marine buddy and I met two nursing students from Southern California. After chatting them up awhile, the conversation turned to what we did in the service. When we told them we were in the infantry, the girls seemed very impressed, giving us big smiles as they told us how sweet that was. Since infantry and sweet are seldom used in the same sen- tence, I was a little confused. Until, that is, one of the girls said, "We admire any man who works with infants." [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.] -<>- A guy and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over 11 years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. "Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" the man asked. "Not very likely," his wife said. "It's worth a try," he said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the shoe shop. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop. Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!" "No kidding?" the customer called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time." The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly. -<>- A man went on a ski trip, and was knocked unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his injury. "Why is the injury not covered?" he asked. "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot, and we consider that a pre- existing condition." -<>- Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motor- ists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave. Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. This I've got to see, I thought. They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out, and drove off. -<>- A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours." The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him." -<>- The Dean of admissions at Bates College in Maine reads through reams of applications from nervous high school seniors, some maybe a little more nervous than others. Here are a few... "If there is a single word to describe me, that word would be 'profectionist'." "I was abducted into the National Honor Society." "I function well as an individual and a group." "Mathematics has hung like a stork around my neck." [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.] -<>- A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. Whenthe waiter brought him his steak it was rare--very rare. The cow-puncher looked at it and demanded that it be returned to the kitchen and cooked. "It is cooked," snapped the waiter. "Cooked--nothing," replied the cow-puncher. "I've seen cows injured worse than this and recover!" -<>- My husband grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong. "I have to ask you to move your car," my husband told him. "Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?" "No," he replied, "it's parked in the wrong driveway." -<>- In Washington D.C., helicopters are often used to monitor the traffic conditions. Frequently jammed is the Francis Scott Key bridge, named after the man who wrote the national anthem. The bridge's traffic problem is notorious; among some, it's known as the Car Strangled Spanner. -<>- A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing. "Officer," he asks, have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?" "No I haven't. What's the problem?" "The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!" "Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?" the officer asks. "Well, yes," the barber replies. "He's carrying one of his ears in his left hand." -<>- A high school history teacher was discussing the funeral of the Pope with his class. One student asked how they chose the new Pope. The teacher explained the process, finishing with, "So the Cardinals pick him." A student in the back of class, asked, very seriously, "Why would they let a baseball team pick the next Pope?" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Chalk Art 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart3.html Junkyard Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/junkart.html Trash Shadow Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shadowart.html God's Night Lights!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/night.html Texas Outhouse Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/outhouse.html Advertising Truck Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/truckart.html God's Water Paintings!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/water.html Attitude Is Everything 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude2.html Building Advertising Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildingads.html Extreme Poodle Makeover!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poodlemakeover.html * In Honor Of Woman History Month... Woman - Darkest Before Dawn http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womandbd.html The Red Hat!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redhat.html Tears Of a Woman- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womantears.html Dreamy Ladies- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/home.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) If you have ever wondered if you're a crazy cat person then here are 10 signs that you might indeed be one of the crazy cat people. Every cat owner has experienced at least a couple of these things with their cat so I'm not sure that would make you a completely crazy cat lover. If you have experienced all ten or even nine of them then it's probably safe to say you are truly a cat lover. http://tinyurl.com/ndzknmv Dusty the cat is such an effective cat burglar that he has been given the alias Clepto by the neighbors that he steals from. If Dusty ever decides to organize the other neighborhood pets into a gang the crime rate in this area is going to go through the roof. Time to start a neighborhood watch for the cat burglar. http://tinyurl.com/qxpytne If there is one place that is incredibly beautiful in the winter, it is Anchorage, and the incredible nature that surrounds it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Gcj0FVDXw&feature=player_embedded Alberta is a province of Canada, and a home to more four different climate regions (alpine, forest, parkland and prairie) and so, other than offering magical landscapes, houses many different types of animals and vegetation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThFCg0tBDck&feature=player_embedded --- ...Awesome! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Bible Questions Answered by GotQuestions.org http://www.gotquestions.org Christian Ministries - Free Online Christian Radio http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/ Gangnam Style Is Not New - 1950s Clog Dancers Did It - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faDmMJ4ms8s --- ...HaHa! Yeah us baby boomers know it! Thanks Melody! Here's a step by step guide to the dance http://metro.co.uk/2013/04/15/how-to-do-psys-gentleman-dance-3616554/ ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "According to the latest census survey, the number of people without health insurance has dropped by two million. Duh, they're dead because they didn't have health insurance." --Jay Leno "Tough weekend. Did you remember to change your clocks? You've lost an hour. It's just like watching The View." -Dave Letterman "In Los Angeles this weekend, shot were fired at a party following the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. Police said they were going to apprehend whoever was involved and give them a time out." -Conan O'Brien "The talking car 'Kit' from the TV show 'Knight Rider' is up for sale. The owner's selling it because they couldn't get rid of that 'Hasselhoff-y' smell." -Craig Ferguson "Do you hear that the NHL is considering banning fighting in ice hockey? That's the only way to make ice hockey less pop- ular than it is now. Hockey without fights is like NASCAR without mullets." -Craig Ferguson "Thank goodness it's spring. If you're from out of town, here's a good way to tell it's spring. The carjackers come in through the sunroof." -Dave Letterman "According to Newsweek, they've now come out with the carbon diet. An environmentally friendly diet that reduces green- house gases. Let me tell you something. If your diet is so bad that you are causing global warming... just stay out of Taco Bell." -Jay Leno "I love spring in New York. Isn't it great? I mean, today, it's sunny and 61. Just like Katie Couric." -Dave Letterman "According to a new report by a genealogy company, Barack Obama's great-great-great-grandfather was born in Ireland. Yeah, that should really solidify Obama's support among Irish African-Americans raised in Hawaii." --Conan O'Brien "It seems like every couple of weeks McDonald's is making their menu more diet friendly. They're now offering a third of a pound hamburger. The darn hamburger weighs a third of a pound. Don't worry... you get a pretty good workout at the ketchup pump." -Dave Letterman "Two teenage girls in Georgia robbed a bank. I have to say one thing. It's nice to see young women stealing money without the help of divorce lawyers." -Craig Ferguson "Crazy day today. We had a car chase. We have a lot of car chases here in L.A. It's actually encouraged by police. They say, either pull over or run as fast as you can." --Jimmy Kimmel "The other day an American Airlines employee tried to let former Vice President Al Gore bypass airport security, but guards stopped Gore and made him go through the metal detector. The head of security said, 'We had to search Al Gore. He could have been armed with a speech.'" --Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************